CHARACTERS (4)
Charmayne: a beautiful, powerful woman just at the drop off point into middle age
Whitney: a stubborn, determined girl on the cusp of adulthood who doesn’t give a damn about her looks
Eight: mysterious male beachcomber, late 20’s
The Guardians of the Past: (can be played by a single actor)
Dr Quantreau: elderly male in fishing regalia
Mrs. Preece: bug-eyed, spry, elderly woman
Mr. Butterbatch: an old man leaning on his broom; a fount of knowledge
Mrs. Davish: motherly, grave-tending woman
SCENES:
- A “beach cottage” exterior in the Hamptons & beach
- The basement “stacks” of a community college library
- Hamptons beach
- Empty strip club “Guilty Pleasures” in the early morning
- Hamptons
- Dead Lake Cemetery
SCENE 1
(Morning. The seaside. Corner of a Hamptons-type “cottage”, boulder, hammock, patio set, easy chair, beachplum. WHITNEY forcefully banging on the door.)
WHITNEY
This is MY story and she DOESN’T get to tell it! Charmayne!! Charmayne!!
(Through the French windows above the front door we see a man and a woman waltzing together. CHARMAYNE, expensively dressed for glittering “sport” opens the doors and leans out over the balcony. Man hovers in background. All we can see of him is his lithe figure, a glitter of gold necklaces and a shirt open to the navel. )
CHARMAYNE
Go away little Whitney. Can’t you see its time for my fencing lesson?
(Making cha-cha moves)
WHITNEY
Is that what you call it?
CHARMAYNE
That’s what everyone calls it. You’d do well to engage in a little exercise plan of your own.
(WHITNEY resumes hammering on door which CHARMAYNE eventually opens carrying a pair of old-fashioned sabers, one in each hand. Door closes behind so WHITNEY can’t see in)
CHARMAYNE
(Swinging the swords in her hands)
Really, Whitney. Hasn’t anyone ever told you how unattractive it is to make a pest out of yourself?
WHITNEY
Why can’t I go in?
CHARMAYNE
(Briskly)
Because it’s my house now, Whitney. I don’t want you to see it till it’s done. It’s going to be a work of art. This morning I had the carpet men; this afternoon I had the drapery men, and this evening…(sniffs the air)
WHITNEY
That’s a lot of men.
CHARMAYNE
One shouldn’t be afraid of these things, Whitney. And this evening… Who knows what the evening holds? En garde!
(She treats WHITNEY to a frightening display of swordswomanship. WHITNEY tries to remain calm)
WHITNEY
I didn’t come to see your games.
CHARMAYNE
These aren’t games, poor little Whitney, these are the skills of life. Look! I’ll show you a few moves!
(Tosses a saber at WHITNEY who ducks – it clatters away.)
Oh, Whitney, you’re no fun. You really need to step more boldly in the world.
WHITNEY
(A little sad, childishly punctured. She’s easy game)
I’m here, aren’t I? I like fishing. And skeet shooting.
CHARMAYNE
Both of those can be done from an easy chair! Where’s the challenge in that? Why not crouch in a dark basement under a garden hose waiting for rats to skitter past if that’s all you’re going to do.
WHITNEY
Seriously, when am I going to see inside? I just wondered…you know, about the family things…
CHARMAYNE
There are no family things I like everything new. Antiques are a fraud perpetrated on the unwary. Don’t you remember we agreed you’d give me twenty-four hours notice before showing up?
WHITNEY
I doubt we ever agreed about anything.
CHARMAYNE
I’m afraid your lack of planning doesn’t constitute my emergency.
WHITNEY
I’m giving you twenty-four hours notice now, then.
CHARMAYNE
I’m so sorry, no can do tomorrow. How about Thursday?
WHITNEY
(Like she’s never heard of it)
Thursday!!
CHARMAYNE
(Silky)
Do try to squeeze it in. Young people fetishize spontaneity. When you’re all grown up I’m sure you’ll realize everything worth having comes through careful planning. Shall we say “tea?” Cinq à sept is my favorite hour. Ta ta, then.
(Disappears without waiting for the response.)
Alysse Aallyn 