
#Haiku: Mastering Meditation
Experience
Intimidates.
Silence sees –
Compassion
Understands

#Haiku: Mastering Meditation
Experience
Intimidates.
Silence sees –
Compassion
Understands

#Haiku: Pupa Pluperfect
Somnolescent
Caterpillars
Dream deep – the
Language of Butterflies

#Haiku: The Emotional Archive
Sun withdraws;
Cry. Heat swells –
Sing. Intent
Blooms. Journaling honors
Life pulse.
by Alysse Aallyn

#Haiku: Overthinking
Brain heats up
Smoke blurs eyes
Complications threaten –
Solutions
Vanish

Chapter 20 – The End
We flew to a hotel at LaGuardia,
Called Derek, whose father suggested
Vince Tromwell. He got
Mirabel immunity as long as she told
“the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth”
and after they tested the shirt and the knife
Verne even confessed –
If you call taking an Alford plea –
(Which legally means “You got me”) –
Confession. Verne got forty years
On each count with deportation
Instead of parole.
Mom and Dad didn’t mind
Having a yoga teacher in the family –
They both started yoga –
I admit I did too –
That’s what big sisters are for;
They go through everything first
So you don’t have to.
We get to be writers, we
The little sisters
Poets and thinkers of all the peaceful
Afternoons; assessing, not
Regressing, savoring even
The upside down moments
Right side up and
Passing them to history.
It worked on everyone but Mr.
Mowgley, English teacher,
Who said;
“Shouldn’t you write this
In the third person voice
To gain some distance?”
I said, “Never.
I’m Richenda Marshott, only me and
I’ll never pretend to be
Anyone else.”

“Mirabel, you must let me
Tell Mom and Dad. They don’t
Deserve this silence.”
She turned mulish. Resistant.
More stubborn than I’d ever be.
“Mirabel is dead. It’s better for everyone.”
“Mom & Dad won’t miss me. I was
Nothing but trouble.”
I spoke truth when I said;
“I guarantee you that’s not true.
They will never get over you.
And in the meantime, Lord Verne gets away
With murder. He’ll just kill
Someone else, Mirabel;
Don’t you get it? Violence is
His foolproof way
To get what he wants.”
Mirabel moved her shoulders restlessly.
She’d almost escaped that life and saw me
Pulling her back.
“I can’t go to jail. I’d rather die.”
“People who make immunity
Deals don’t go to jail. Derek’s family
Must know a lawyer who’d negotiate
For you. You stay anonymous
Because deals never go to court.”
She eyed me suspiciously.
“What do YOU know about
Bargaining with prosecutors?”
“I have a Netflix subscription!
I watch the ID channel! If you tell them
What you know it might be enough
To convict him.
Get him out of all our lives
Forever.” Fingers crossed.
She struggled to believe me.
She had so little trust.
Yet I was the one
She’d invited inside.
“I have the murder weapon,” she admitted.
“I told him I got rid of it. And
The shirt he wore – it’s bloody.
In a safety deposit box.”
A thrill ran through me.
I hadn’t expected
Such cagey planning, but
I should have; from
The Girl Who Got Away.
“That’s probably enough,” I promised.
But still my sister hesitated,
Torn between embracing her
Imaginary life with its
Brand new identity and
Facing her destroyer.
I played my final card.
“You owe me,” I whispered.
“You owe the dead girls.
And so Mirabel – not Franny but
The grown up girl who’d always been
My sister; made up her mind.
She accepted herself; the way
I had always accepted her.

I had to ask
The ultimate question.
“Did he kill the real Franny?”
Were we a survivor chain of
The lot, the disconnected, the
Threatened?
Her eyes slid back and forth
As she repeated her question;
“Did anyone follow you?”
I wasn’t aware of anyone
But in our day and age
Of advanced surveillance
Was it possible to reassure?
“No. No hiding stalkers
On your tiny island.”
It worked.
For the first time she relaxed
And smiled. But still she
Whispered as if we could be
Overheard.
“I’m sorry for putting you
In that position but I knew
You wouldn’t let him hurt you.
You were always different
Born yourself –
I’m not myself yet but
I’m trying to be.”
She began to swing us
Her thin legs in white gauze reached out
Pumping us higher.
“You didn’t answer my question”
I insisted, “The real Franny
Is dead. Who killed her?”
“Verne killed them,” she confided.
As our swing vaulted heavenwards.
“My friends were
“Hiding me from Verne but
“I still had to work. He stalked me – he
Broke in – stabbed Franny and Jane.”
“But missed you?” I prompted. ”Because
You were in the broom closet?”
“No,” she said, “He found me
Covered me with their blood – said
I was the cause of
Everything, I was the one who
Made it happen.
He threatened to kill me too
But slowly. I knew he planned
To torture me to death.
I could never get away.”
“Why not tell the police?”
Her eyes were so big, pale blue shading
Into gray – same color as the ocean.
“They’d lock me up –
He knows too much about me.
I tried everything I could think
To get away but nothing worked
Till this.” She held my hand
Me – feeling like the
Older sister.
“Remember the fable I used to
Read to you – the dog that dropped the bone
Because he saw a second one?
That’s my gambit –
I felt sure that you would recognize.”
She held my wrists enlaced in
Skinny fingers.
“Verne was always telling me
I was ruined, that I’d spoiled myself
And destroyed our future.
I convinced him you were me
Unscarred – the way I was
Before he met me –
Better than I ever was – me without
The things he hated.”
I recoiled, disgusted, trying not
To show it. That bastard! Hating
Her feeble resistance.
She smiled the old one-sided smile.
“I was right too. You were too smart
To fall for him.
“You were born so confident!
So good in school! Your brain
Seemed always working right –
Reading my schoolbooks
Helping ME to do my homework!”
It was funny, listening
To this different recollection
Of our years together, so distinct
From my modest memories.
At the very moment I was
Iconizing her, she was
Idealizing me.
The swing slowed. My sister
Looked away – that far off glance
That was the skill she’d mastered –
Disassociation –
Floating above the rest of us –
In her inner world of safety.
I heard my voice –
“But I’m so plain.”
“You’re wrong about that, –
More beautiful than I ever was –
I think I’ve learned what real beauty is –
It’s wildness – untamed – and
Those who want to capture it
Are killing their desire.”
My sister, the guru
Clutched at me again – fearful
She could lose me as I’d lost
Her. She knew the world
Was full of melting women
Simulacra who seem
To be but aren’t –
Shadow people enlisted
Replacing those who
Never came to be.
I recoiled in horror at
The degradation
So closely missed.
“And then you found me,”
She breathed, scaring me
With confidence in my miracles.
“This island’s pictures
Were the only ones I ever sent
To you; I thought
That you’d remember.”
“I almost didn’t!
Answer one for me. Did you steal
Diamonds from Kruptupian?”
“His broker was cheating him.
When I gave him the evidence,
He sold my ring
Giving me the cash to get away
Without informing.
I’ve been taking yoga teacher training.
I’m going to give Franny Vallea the
Flourishing life she
Din’t have, without
Family, without chances.
All she ever wanted was enough money
To be safe, to have peace, quiet
And a lock on the door.”
“Mirabel, you must let me
Tell Mom and Dad. They don’t
Deserve this silence.”
She turned mulish. Resistant.
More stubborn than I’d ever be.
“Mirabel is dead. It’s better for everyone.”

Quite a trudge – hundreds of steps –
And I was alone. Maybe these
Holiday-makers were all just too old.
But with every step
I felt increasing peace –
Then came a sign:
“SSSSHHH! MEDITATION IN SESSION!”
Tamed my labored breathing –
Climbed the last few steps
Silently. One teacher – a very old man –
In perfect lotus position –
Eyes closed –
Orchestrated six students –
Their backs to me –
All wearing white.
Like a cult?
I studied them thoughtfully.
No hair like Mirabel’s –
A couple of blondes and one boy –
Very close-cropped, maybe chemo?
My gaze increasingly
Fixed on him; felt
I must be hallucinating.
Weren’t those Mirabel’s ears?
The hair just coming in
Was silvery – the tiny ear studs –
Silver, not diamonds.
I inched my way around – one student
Opened her eyes – gave me
The harsh look my inquisitiveness
Warranted. But I persisted – the skinny
Silent student lost in meditation
Was my sister! No other jewelry, no makeup,
Just cheap gauze clothing, dirty bony bare feet
And that scarred lip.
Looks like the joke was on Mirabel –
Bald, at her thinnest – that
Magnified her true self so
Hugely no one –
No one who loved her –
Could ever mistake her.
Tears sprang to my eyes. I closed them and
Backed against the stone white-washed wall
Trying to mentally connect with her.
What was she thinking
Right at this minute?
Maybe nothing.
I’d meditated – a couple of times and
Found it annoying. I like my own brain
And don’t want to escape it.
I launched an experiment – she forced me
To come all this way to find her –
Now I will make her
Feel my presence. That project quenched
My tears as anger always does;
Focused everything I had
On her. She was strong;
I’ll say that for her
It took a long time to reach her:
Deep in her dream place –
Mouth slightly open –
One tiny tear sliding down from her eye.
That’s when I touched her! I could feel it.
She stirred.
Eyes opened. My sister Mirabel took a
Long, long look into me.
Chapter 19 – Killer Signature
“Mirabel?”
I mouthed her name. She ducked her head,
Bowed deeply forward, then rose
To her feet. A ripple ran through
The group and the leader opened one eye
In displeasure.
My sister grabbed my arm
And began dragging me downstairs.
“My name here is Franny.”
She whispered.
Franny? That name set up echoes.
Had she stolen a murder victim’s
Identity?
I refused to unleash her;
Knew she was meditating for a
Superpower of
Invisibility;
Miraging at will.
At the base of the lighthouse steps
We burst out;
Into the strong sunlight.
“I thought you were dead,”
I gasped. “You left me with HIM!”
She pulled me into a swing
Beneath a shady awning
Two sisters swinging
Side by side –
Both of them crying.
“I’m so glad you found me,”
She said, “Did they follow you?”
“How could you leave me
With HIM,” I raged at her.
“I knew you could handle him,”
She insisted with equal ferocity,
“You’d never fall
For any of his tricks.
And wasn’t I right?
Look, here you are.”

Chapter 18 – Dream Island
Isla Ensueno is a resort –
Luckily Derek’s air miles included the
Pink stucco hotel.
“No one by that name,” the desk clerk told me so
Patiently. What kind of avatar name would
Mirabel choose? He wouldn’t stand for
Guessing so I tried describing her –
But the clerk shook his head.
Well, I couldn’t leave until tomorrow
Might as well check in and prowl.
It’s a very small island.
My thoughts were uncomfortable –
That oh-so familiar feeling –
Dinned into me by every adult I’ve ever met
That I’m probably doing
Everything wrong.
My “great idea” seemed feeble now
Typical teen impulsiveness.
This wasn’t far enough away – Florida!
How could Mirabel feel safe here?
Smart money said she’d flee
Ocean-wards – the Maldives or Malta or
Some such place – with a whole new
Passport and some new man in tow
Whose identity she could hide behind.
That’s if she wanted to create
A new persona. But what if –
This is what I gambled on –
She wanted instead to uncover
The old persona – the person
Who had always been there?
It was the only explanation
For involving me –
Other than simply feeding me
To her monster.
I had one single chance –
And possibly I’d blown it.
Dream Island was authentically gorgeous –
Mirabel hadn’t lied
But in the eight years since
Her photo shoot hadn’t its splendor
Diminished, wasn’t it becoming
Just the tiniest bit shabby?
Some people – myself for example
Like things whose edge has been
Taken off. As I circumnavigated
The island’s walking trail
A certain peace overtook me
That could have been
Maturity.
Was this what it felt like
Having nothing left to prove?
If you can enjoy the moment –
Filling yourself with it and
It with yourself –
Then you’ve arrived.
Questions bubbled.
What do you do
When your game has gone horribly wrong?
You start over.
Even if my guess was off
There was still that intriguing
Probability: what if Mirabel evolved
Until her only desire was having a self
Worthy of presentation to the magnificent
Universe this island represented?
Even at fourteen I understood nostalgia –
Viewing the confident know-it-all
My eleven-year-old incarnation
With the purest envy.
What if Mirabel re-set the game –
Made different choices
Stopped pleasing others by
Contorting her body into
Simulacra and challenged the world
To accept her real being?
The younger self I knew – hopeful –
Gorgeous – naïve, impatient –
Wasn’t in the Maldives!
As I walked I systematically
Searched every nook;
Old trees shading the privacy of
Lovers: I broke into – peering under
Awnings, stared right through
Sunglasses: but Mirabel
Wasn’t there.
The trail wound around a sand beach cove
And right up to the lighthouse;
I was unprepared; requiring
Binoculars, sunscreen and a
Really big hat;
Sea breezes made me shiver
In just cami and jeans –
Something put me
In the mood to climb the lighthouse.

Chapter 17 – Grievous Bodily Harm
Verne’s voice: cruel, whispering,
Insistent, filling up
An answering machine with abortive calls
Never answered. “Mirabel?
Don’t think you’ll escape me.
You’ve begun a game
You can’t win”
My teeth began to chatter.
Derek’s eyes bugged.
It went on and on – filled the cassette –
Verne threatening that he’d find her and
The longer she made him wait
The sorrier he’d make her.
Did she want her family
MUDERED?
Did she want her friends
MURDERED?
Because he had nothing left to lose.
Sometimes he attempted different ploys;
He loved her –
They were made for each other –
She knew that
It had never been good with
Anyone but her.
Didn’t she want to be Lady Verne?
Wasn’t every bad thing
That had ever happened to either of them
All her fault?
She owed him.
He’d would find her
Wherever she was hiding,
He could smell her out.
He knew her friends were lying and
One of them would succumb – eventually.
“Call me, Mirabel.
You better call me.”
Derek and I looked at each other
Pale as ghosts.
“He did it,” said Derek, finally.
“He must have. He
Has everything – motive, means
Most of all, he has the
Personality – the – what do they call it?
The killer signature.
Even a past record for
‘Grievous bodily harm’.”
“Don’t jump to conclusions,”
I defended weakly, not wanting to have
Roomed with a killer. Not wanting my sister to have
Thrown me at a murderer.
Derek scoffed.
“We’ve got to take this to the police.”
Derek was supposedly the expert –
But even I could see the holes.
“It isn’t proof of anything,”
I argued.
“So he threatened an ex-girlfriend!
Do you know how many guys do that?”
“No,” said Derek. “Do YOU?”
“Yes,” I spluttered. “I read Teen Vogue.
It happens all the freakin’ time.”
“Well,” said Derek, red-faced,
“You caught me. I’m embarrassed
For my gender.”
God, he was adorable.
I made my case,
“If the police came calling
Would be to search for Mirabel HARDER.”
“OH, GOD,” sighed Derek,
“I gave him the name of my dad’s P.I.! I’ve got to
Call him!” I sprang back so fast
Derek’s phone clattered to the ground
Between us. “Don’t call Verne!”
“I’m not calling Verne!
I’m callin the P.I.! Hello, Angie? This
Is Derek Lowther. Can I speak to Ed?
It’s an emergency.
O.K., I guess I can tell you,”
He grumbled. “I gave Ed’s name
To somebody I just met
Who’s looking for his missing girl. But then I found out
He’s a dangerous kind of guy.
Oh, he doesn’t? Well, what if he asks
For a referral? OK.
He hasn’t called? Well, thanks.
I’m better.”
Disconnected.
“She says he never takes cases like that
And would only recommend
Police. She says –“
He gulped – “Most people –
Searching for a past lover –
Have nothing good in mind.”
And I had been helping him!
But what else could I do when
Mirabel dumped me, too.
I leafed slowly through Mirabel’s
Portfolio.
There was a picture that I recognized –
Mirabel sent it to the family –
Bikini’d Mirabel on a sun-beaten
Grey-weathered viewing deck
Posing beneath an osprey nest.
“She talked about this place,”
I recalled. “She called it Dream Island.
She said she wished
She could just live there forever.”
I grabbed Derek by the arm.
“I know where that is,”
Eureka. Hard to explain
Those moments of insight
Where everything just comes together.
“She’d be stupid to return
To any place she’d ever been.”
There’s Derek, arguing for the sake of
Arguing. “The smart thing
Is to light out for somewhere you’ve never
Been before.” I batted that one
Off easily. “Then what’s the point? If you’ve
Been miserable, what you want is
Guaranteed happiness.”
“Unless you’re shallow,” said Derek.
“Then you need guaranteed variety.
Guaranteed newness.”
What an awful thing to say.
The question was, is Mirabel that bad?
I refused to believe it.
“She’s my sister,” I one-upped,
“I hope I know her better than you.”
He could have told me
I didn’t know her at all
And been right, but he backed down
Immediately. Maybe he saw
In my face the high stakes I felt in
Rescuing the sister who made me
Happy face pancakes all those years ago.
“It’s like a password hack.”
Now he argued for my side,
Bless him. “Depends how well
You know the person.”
My phone rang. I jumped a mile.
“Oh, Jeez, it’s Verne!
What should I tell him?”
“Don’t pick up! We better get
Our stories straight.”
But I picked up. Bravest thing
I ever did. “Oh, hi, Verne
Did you find something?
Well, Derek’s talking to a neighbor
Who used to be a cop.
Sure – when we find something –
Ok. Catch you later.”
Derek stared at me awestruck.
“That was incredible! Have you studied acting?”
“Hell no,” I told him
“I’ve studied LYING. Can’t get through
Teenage life without it.”
Most lies are cover-ups where your quarry
Is already suspicious. That never works.
Smart lies strikes first –
Bold, believable
(Because part of it is truth)
And straight out of nowhere.
“What were you thinking? Maybe you
Spooked him?’
“I was hoping to spook him. I wanted a way
To hint what we learned from your PI’s
Receptionist. I mean,
WE NEED TO STOP HELPING HIM.”
“But what good is that?” Derek argued,
“If he finds Mirabel first?”
“He won’t,” I said. “I know where to go
And I don’t want him following me.”
Do you have a spare phone?”
“Sure,” said Derek,
“Brand new trac phone in my dad’s office
Still in the packaging. And
Plenty of air miles burning holes in my pocket.
Do you need a passport?”
“It’s only Florida. Isla Ensueno.”