Mourning – Detachment – What if, in your dreams you hurt? You can’t put your finger on it, yet when you wake up you feel such shuddering emptiness and loss it’s a physical relief to find your dream wasn’t real. Lots of people fear such sadness as some kind of prophecy. In your sleep, you are mourning something – but what? It’s enough to make a person fear sleep.

We Need to Mourn – Sadness is not allowed in a society where perfect strangers feel comfortable demanding you “smile.” Look at all these Instagram feeds with everybody grinning away because they’re having so much FUN and their lives are so PERFECT they never wake up shuddering with sadness. Except they are human too, so we know that they DO.
They’re just better at covering it up than we seem to be. (And some people, admittedly are just plain shallower.)

Are we mourning past lives? Are we mourning lives unlived? This inevitably means we have a lot of mourning to catch up on. We don’t recall our process of bargaining and acceptance so all that’s left is denial and depression. Not only that, the “causes” of your lost mourning seem so inconsequential to our “adult” selves. “So your pet died when you were five, everybody says. Your parents got a divorce. You moved five times. Get over it, already!” Time to accept the power and significance of your own feelings and the place of mourning in your life.

Challenge – Time to feel compassion for yourself. Open your Dream Journal and ask the question, why are you dreaming these things now? Sometimes something going on in our lives reminds of that past unhealed hurt. Sometimes our collective unconscious is feeling other people’s suffering. It’s OK to think about that sadness, especially if it makes us feel closer to other people. Everyone has these lost, wrecked treasures submerged in their lives. Celebrate the fact that you are able to feel so deeply in a world where others are forced to punish themselves, take risks and drugs in order to “feel something.”

Danger – Cultivate detachment. Learn to say goodbye. Take a breath. Let go of the toxic elements in your life. Go “no-contact” on toxic people. Read up on sadism, the better to understand the people out there who feed off and enjoy your suffering. Buddhists recommend surveying your thoughts and feelings from a distance, as in hypnotherapy, then setting them free. This is not dissociation. Dissociation is more like floating through life with all our systems repressed, feeling numb. Dissociation is not good. It’s not that you don’t care, it’s that you can use that pool of tears to respond more intensely to life, to art, to music, and to each other.

Opportunity – Resilience is our most powerful survival trait. This means that after blight, we can flourish more strongly, just the way pruned plants will. It’s not necessary to explore all the caverns of your being, but it will make you stronger. Once again, choose a buddy and a guide. Think about the “hero’s journey” story you respond to most deeply. In your Dream Journal, imagine explaining your hero’s journey to someone else. Feel free to use pictures, symbols and metaphors. After all, when we were children we did feel our world to be populated by monsters and the supernatural.

Models & Mentors – “Detachment is power. Release all things that no longer work for you” – Shane Steele

“To be detached means to dive so fully into the experience you dropout the other side… with full understanding you can say, “Now that I know, I can let go”
– Teal Swan

“In detachment lies the wisdom of uncertainty…freedom from our prison of past conditioning…willingness to step into the unknown surrenders us to the creative mind that orchestrates the dance of the universe…” – Deepak Chopra

“I release the subjective thoughts, energy and emotions I am holding about people, places and things that kept me trapped in dis-ease…I can step back and allow the feelings & thoughts & energy to dissipate…I am then free to act with compassion, love & acceptance” – Angela James

“Attachment is the fabricator of illusions – reality can be attained only by one who is detached” – Simone Weil

“Detachment is having your life be about you, not about other people”
– Karen Casey

Mantra – “I release”

Meditation –

#Haiku: Detachment

In the last phase of grief
bless your wrestling angel –
grow scar tissue wings