The Demon Lover – a play for two voices by Alysse Aallyn

6. ENTREGARME – SURRENDER

EVAN
I am utterly becalmed.
What I dread most is silence,
The latest form of impotence.
I need stringing up and tautening.
This is the
Revenge of love. Its revenge on me.

EVA
I am suffused with love because I am free.
My work becomes our child,
Our extension. Immortal. Still,
Something vanishes when you’re not there.

EVAN
Elayna broke her hip.
How irreplaceable she is to me.
Our brand of married happiness is entirely unsung.
I shrink to leave her even for a day.

EVA
I’m sorry it wasn’t fatal.
Am I so dispensable to you?
You love no one. If you turn against me
I’ll die in a week because
I have no one looking after me.

EVAN
Turn against you! Agonizing!
In spite of the hangover of humiliation
I broke down all reserves so we could be together.
A very happy day and I was sorry to leave you.

EVA
Wed & sad.
Past distress muffled by age & habit.
Today we meet formally as if at a garden party.
A promise unfulfilled.
Miracles happen but
The gift of love is guilt & pain.

EVAN
You looked so ill
I was nagged by fear I bored you.
I long for the happiness of old age,
Guilt free, pain free, fear free.

EVA
I invited Elayna to lunch.

EVAN
I am not best pleased.
Your ghost will haunt me till I die.
The day you come to like each other
It will be poison to our love.

Elayna rarely admits depression.
I have had not just love but loyalty.
You force ruthlessness.
It is a good thing your throat is sore
Or you would never stop talking.

EVA
Are you sending me your signet ring?
I want something solid to remember you by.
A last communion.
Dodging death, I fight off this
Paralyzing loneliness.

(EVA fades away. EVAN is alone.)

EVAN
Is the flaw in love a flaw in me?
I never should have married.
My heart jumps with pain like a hooked fish.
I am rudderless. Upon your death
My ring comes back,
All your contrivances revealed.

Now that you are gone, I find you everywhere.
It’s hard to take in the fact that
We will never see each other again;
Never, never, never.
You are gone from me forever.

I walk the streets and weep.
Is this delayed shock? Boredom or despair?
I will never cease to feel this pain till
I cease feeling anything.
For the last three nights, I dreamed of you.

Did I anger you, neglect you?
It’s too late to pray –
I await your final book with horror.
I need to know I was your life.
Please come back one last time
For just an hour.
If you ever thought you loved more than I
You are now
Revenged.