Alysse Aallyn

Category: #BestRevenge

  • #Dream Therapy – Dream Journaling with Alysse Aallyn

    Dreams – Imagination-

    Let’s learn to enjoy our dreams, to look forward to dreaming. I like waking up in the early dawn because when I go back to sleep I can set an intention for dreaming – all the best dreams (and the most memorable ones) happen at the very end of sleep while you are coming up through the lawyers of sub- to semi consciousness.

    Lucid Dreaming – Is when the dreamer realizes it’s a dream. Dreamers often use their lucidity to “manage” the dream – and that’s an important step – but don’t forget we’re here ultimately to find out what the dream is trying to tell us.

    Remember – You’re the Pilot – Do you long for caretaking? Are you eager to give over the reins of your life to someone else? If so, your dreams are likely to become scary, unmanageable and unsatisfying. It is time for you to take charge of your power – you are in control of your own brain.

    Challenge – Open your Dream Journal. Date it, and write, “I want to dream about…” Fill in the blank. Be as detailed and specific as you want to be. It is perfectly OK to allow your waking mind to construct desirable dreams – great works of art got their start in just this way! You may hear a voice… someone from the past who discouraged your “day-dreaming” and wanted you to focus on your work, on the present and on them. Explore this memory fearlessly. It is not rejecting or “hating on” that person to disagree with them – there are certainly times when the priority is to focus on other things – but right now you are exploring your own brain and testing out its powers. Clearly that’s an important and necessary project. Gently take control from this Remembered Forbidder and say, “This is my time now. I am in charge.”

    Danger – We all know the cautionary tale of Scary Guy Who Live for Video Games and Doesn’t Have a Life. Do you fear the power of dreams and the pleasures of daydreaming will suck you away from Real World Competence? They won’t – as long as you are reality centered. Some people dream of different outcomes, things that are impossible – instead of finding workable avenues of growth and advancement. Positive dreaming deepens and enhances, doesn’t evade reality. It’s just that reality is so much wilder – and we are so much more powerful than we can credit!

    Opportunity – Here’s a chance to reveal your True Self. It’s OK to be scared – it won’t harm you to recall the helplessness and confusion you felt in childhood so long as you also remember the joys of accessing power – swimming, bike riding, sports, lovemaking, dance, joint projects, creation of all types. These are models for your future. Some of us believe this growth goes on and on – even after death.

    Models & Mentors – “I dream things that never were and I say, “Why Not?” – George Bernard Shaw

    “A dreamer finds his way by moonlight…sees dawn before the rest of the world.” – Oscar Wilde

    ‘You have within you the strength, the patience and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world”
    – Harriet Tubman

    “I’ve had dreams, and I’ve had nightmares. I overcame the nightmares because of my dreams.” – Jonas Salk

    Mantra – “All things are possible”

    Meditation –

    #Haiku: Imagination

    Dreams bloom
    Across brain; sinking
    Sands of wakefulness
    Glaze;
    Leave behind
    Pearl

  • #DreamTherapy – Dream Journaling with Alysse Aallyn

    Duality – Ambivalence –


    What Kind of Nightmare Is This ? We dream about things we don’t want and people we aren’t. Strong feminists dream of rape, vegetarians dream of meat, pacifists dream of fighting. It’s confusing. What gives?

      Language Isn’t Subtle Enough to Explain You – Your personality contains all feelings, all thoughts, all ideas, rippling through you in a vast subconscious well. Your unconscious connects with the “collective unconscious” of other peoples – dead, alive, even fictional. Why isn’t “hate-love” a word? You experience that regularly. How about “fear-attraction”? Common! What I’m suggesting is that we need to accept the fact that a “personality” is a dynamism, not a slogan. Ambivalence is natural. It’s healthy.

      Challenge – Facing this might seem the toughest part, but it isn’t for artists, who routinely “play” along their edge, peeking over it and imagining life on the other side. Art is the best way to express this, an enormous relief since it’s non-committal. Of course you’ll have to face the surprise of your relatives when your work becomes public: “Where did THAT come from?” But if truth be told, we’ve always been surprised to be related to these people.

      Danger – Society seeks to label and stigmatize. We need to explore our fear but we are afraid of becoming our fear. A simple safe word can’t work when people – bankers, politicians, therapists, employers – are so fundamentally untrustworthy. That is why our identification of ourselves as Brave Explorers is so vital. The vastness of our potential cannot be controlled by language. We will never be butterflies pinned down in a museum box for the instruction/curiosity of others.

      Opportunity – Appreciate your self. Don’t slam the door on yourself too soon. Sometimes the worst labeler, the most determined jailor, is Us. We are deeply afraid of wandering in the forest and losing the way to get home safe. But Brave Explorers carry Home within them. As Nelson Mandela used to quote from his prison cell, if we are the captains of our souls we can be the masters of our fates. We can learn to tolerate a little ambiguity/uncertainty/ambivalence. (Henley.)

      Models & Mentors – “It seems we are capable of immense love and loyalty and as capable of deceit and atrocity. It is this shocking ambivalence that makes us unique.” – John Scott

      “Ambivalence is a wonderful tune to dance to. It has a rhythm all its own.”
      – Erica Jong

      “The Simpsons is about alienation and the ambivalence of living with a family who you love but drives you crazy”
      – Matt Groening

      “Poetry is the home of ambiguity, ambivalence and uncertainty.” – Billy Collins

      Mantra – “I am Everything”

      Meditation –

      #Haiku: Contemplate Duality

      Causation;
      Polarity;
      Suspicious distrust;
      Embrace
      Growth process

    1. #DreamTherapy – Dream Journaling with Alysse Aallyn

      Solitude – Self-sufficiency –

        Dreaming of time alone? Fearing it, perhaps?  We are born into a cacophony of voices. It is vital that we carve out time to reflect on all that is happening to us and the part we play and want to play. Our dreams alone could fill a shelf of books – plus we need time to cultivate, curate and care for a daytime self. Sometimes we have other people to care for and relationships to manage. We need to learn how to be our own best friend.

        Your Mind Is Your Most Important Tool – Your mind determines your experience which controls your mind which develops your experience in a perfect feedback loop. In a culture based on “likes” from strangers we are all too ready to hand the reins of our brain over to God know who. Advertisers,influencers and partisans do NOT have your best interests at heart. We must learn how to develop that feedback loop into an upward trending spiral.

        Challenge – We are determined to develop self-confidence. We need to trust, not fear, our ownreactions. This takes practice – “reps” in the words of the physical trainers. There is no need for two weeks alone on the Appalachian Trail (nice as that would be) because we are already alone inside our heads. Open your Dream Journal and consider: Check your voices: what are you saying to yourself?“Good effort” or “Idiot”? It matters! Many of us treat ourselves worse than we would treat any otherhuman (or animal.) That changes today.

        Danger – We are not proposing a life without feedback or a divorce from reality. If you really were yourown best friend, you would protect, not exalt yourself. You would strategize towards health and sharing,not secrecy and isolation.

        Opportunity – find a voice you respect and admire to model your internal voice. Strategize with Dream Buddies. Can you check with this person that you are on the right path? We all need a life coach or acheerleader in our corner. 

        Learn to enjoy time alone by building in rewards – indulging in nourishinghobbies as simple as walking and reading. You don’t need rocket science, you need a healthful day today peaceful retreat inside your own head.

        Models & Mentors – “Loneliness is the poverty of self – Solitude is the richness of self.” – May Sarton

        “The happiest of all lives is a busy solitude”  – Voltaire

        “Solitude is necessary for creativity” – Picasso

        “The best thinking is done in solitude” – Thomas Edison

        Mantra: “I am enough”

        Meditation –

        #Haiku: Solitude – Self-Sufficiency

        Plaited rhyme of

        Past and future voices

        Advise, protect

        Entertain

      1. #DreamTherapy – Dream Journaling with Alysse Aallyn

        Recovery & Rebirth –

        The compulsion of recurring dreams torments us. These re-envisagings of past events re-enact Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder for all to see, shaming and blaming at the same time.

        My recurring dreams all involve writing, my sister’s involve the car accident she was in at four years old.  Get out your Dream Journal. Consult your Dream Buddies. Do you have recurring dreams? What are they trying to tell you?

        Don’t be afraid – You’ve got this. We’re going to change your dreamscape. We’re going to begin dreaming about rebirth.

        You’re the Pilot – “The bad news is time flies – the good news is, you’re the pilot.”  What do memories in general – these memories in particular – symbolize for you? 

        “Recovery begins to happen we repel a demonic force that kept us in thrall” – could beaddiction, illusion, corruption, compulsive behavior; even a poisonous culture.   Were we hostage to another human being who didn’t have our best interests at heart?  This requires deep thought about our best interests. As our brains clear we get ideas. Ernest Hemingway used to say we are “stronger at the broken places”; Nietzsche expressed it as “what doesn’t kill me makes me stronger”. Healing provides peace as well as joy.  We give thanks that wehave begun the journey.

        Challenge: Expect to stumble.  Watching toddlers try to “rise and walk” we consider it lucky thatthey don’t mind being laughed at. (In fact, they love it.)  It takes them time to figure out this new modality.  Like beginning skiers, they cling to objects, sway exaggeratedly back and forth, slam into others, and plop down SPLAT; not just once or twice but over and over.  In fact the toddler hasn’t been born who suddenly vaults up suavely and starts swanning around in a sophisticated manner.

        Embrace the First step of Recovery: “Expect to go splat.”  Of course we don’t WANT to –fingers crossed –  it’s dangerous and bruising.  We’d better arrange to have a friend around – just in case. But you don’t fail unless you refuse to rise again. Don’t even bother counting the times you were “brave”.  It’s only the “getting back up” that counts. As long as you’re doing that,you’re a true winner.

        Danger – Life never goes the way we planned.  There’s the excitement of finding a plan,investigating goals, making them ours, and committing to the plan – and then there’s living the plan.Suddenly we don’t know how to get through the next ten minutes –worse, we make a “big mistakes”unconsciously. The rational self we’ve planned for fails to show up and instead we turn into someirrational monster who threatens to kill when momentarily frustrated. 

        This is like sport-learning. Allow each new behavior to penetrate every fiber of your whole body. Rehearse over and over. (10,000 times?)  It’s ALL mistakes at first. Our mental concepts of “perfection” and “purity” arecompletely misplaced here; this is more like forming calluses over tender new skin. It feels funny atfirst, sore. It might actually “hurt.” We’re on the early steps of a long journey to a wonderful place;and we won’t get there unless we forgive ourselves, pick ourselves up and keep going.

        Opportunity –  We wish happiness was “automatic’ but it requires planning. Pledge to contrastplanned empowerment with benumbed abandon. Think about what this means. Who envies loss of consciousness?  Wouldn’t it be better to remove the source of the pain, the shame we are escaping from? Is this nostalgic fantasy really some faint memory of union, with an equally desperate hordestanding in for the lost, beloved Other? What would it mean to give up these blind yearnings, thiscultivated pain and these unbearable memories to lead a fresh, released and intentional life? It means accepting and becoming a new self in all our exquisitely uniqueness, exploring everything that implies. It doesn’t mean we’ll never have another recurring dream. Dreams become a conversation we are having with our deepest selves, by the light of the universe. Recovery is “self-forgiveness”;going forward with a clear-eyed, honest appraisal of ourselves, resources and desires. “I am free”

        Models & Mentors – “Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life” – J.K. Rowling

        “The airplane takes off against the wind, not with it” – Henry Ford

        “Believe you can and you’re halfway there” – Theodore Roosevelt

        “The best way to predict your future is to create it” – Abraham Lincoln

        Meditation –

        #Haiku: Recovery = Rebirth

        Mulligan –

        Rare gift;

        A “do-over”

        ‘Cause you DO know

        What you know now

      2. #DreamTherapy – Dream Journaling with Alysse Aallyn

        Rainbow – Serendipity – 

        Do You Dream of Pots of Gold?  Magic transferences? Breaks in the laws of physics benefiting only you?

        You Were Born Lucky – Consider: What is the greatest piece of good luck you’ve ever had? Your parentage? Talents? Home town? Best friend? A piece of advice? A special teacher? Think about it. Have you ever been offered apiece of good luck you couldn’t take advantage of, but wish you had?

        How lucky do you NEED to be? Are you familiar with the faces of gamblers seated hour by hour at the slot machines, wearing special gloves so their skin doesn’t fall off? Seriously, who would want to be them? Is it luck itself that wegive thanks for, or our ability to recognize good fortune? Perhaps it’s our ability to take advantage of a piece of good luck when we’re offered it. These memories have one thing in common- i.e. “ability”, which is not luck, which is YOU. Give thanks for these abilities. Let’s learn to develop them. Open up your Dream Journal.

        Challenge – A different way of thinking about fortune is not all the wonderful things that didn’thappen, but the terrible things that COULD have happened – and didn’t. In other words, let’s tryadopting a “glass half full” perspective and see how far that gets us.

        Danger – The danger is always the same – giving control of our psyche over to some other entitythat may not (almost certainly doesn’t) have our best interests at heart. We’re usually not evenaware we’re doing this. But when you want to “be lucky” what does that mean? In whose eyes?Let’s put ourselves firmly in the driver’s seat and take a look at the path ahead. Do we want to gothere? Do we really trust these people? Are we the dog throwing away a real bone to reach theillusory bone we see pictured in the watery reflection of Aesop’s Fable?

        Opportunity – As we negotiate our mortal existence we have a unique opportunity to takeadvantage of chance appearances and encounters – that’s serendipity. If we recognize them. Thenwe can compare our steps to the immortal framework of eternity and ask, How am I doing?

        Models & Mentors – “Serendipity is when you find things that you weren’t looking for because what you are looking for is so damned difficult”

        – Erin McKean

        “Steer into the skid” – Alysse Aallyn

        “Here you are moving ahead bravely in spite of everything going wrong” – Rithvik Singh

        “Take advantage of happy accidents” – Vincent van Gogh

        “There are no coincidences” – Sigmund Freud

        Meditation –

        #Haiku: Rainbow – Serendipity

        Happenstance –

        Fortuitous

        Chance; we’re

        Born lucky

        We just don’t know it.

      3. #Dream Therapy – Dream Journaling with Alysse Aallyn

        Conflict – Do you dream of danger? Natural disasters like storms, volcanoes and flooding?  Do you dream of war, of robbery, home invasion? Or do you dream about your loved one’s face turning bitter and their words cutting sharply?  Conflict is inevitable.  It is necessary – birth pangs seem terrifying and sex can look like war. In dreams we rehearse our fears until some of us fear to dream.

          You are a Force Field.  You are a magnet for desire, change, for evolution itself. This comes byvirtue of being born, assuming your physical incarnational state. Others may tell you to standback, take your place in line or wait your turn but your appearance into this chaotic universetriggered no such guarantee. We are here to learn to use our power.

          CHALLENGE – Force stirs up resistance.  Actions create re-action as we swing back and forth inour determination and direction. We clash and crash.  Sometimes we regret it bitterly, “why did Ido that?”  Sometimes we fear loss or harm so much we are immobilized.  The challenge is toassume your stride, elucidate your goals and plan a direction. Get out your dream Journal. Consult your dream buddies.

          DANGER – It’s all too easy to make others fear you. The one with the biggest weapon THINKShe wins every fight. But what looks like compliance to you could be revolution – you will betoppled and lose your heart’s desire.

          OPPORTUNITY – Learning to use conflict constructively and creatively is a Superpower.  Otherpeople are force fields, too. If there is any way to blend these powers and head in the samedirection, we will be invincible. 

          Models & Mentors –  “I used to tell myself, boy, if you can survive this, you can survive anything” – Tom Lichtenberg

          “Laughter is the proof that our tragedies don’t define us. Laughter is the survivor’s language” – Josh James

          “Cancer didn’t bring me to my knees, it brought me to my feet”

          – Michael Douglas

          “If you want to awaken humanity, awaken yourself. If you want to eliminate suffering, eliminate what is negative in yourself. Your gift to the world is our self-transformation.” – Lao Tzu

          MEDITATION –

          #Haiku: The Storm

          Battle mode:

          Sludge

          Rears up

          Eyes bug

          Mouth gapes

          Shrieks

          “No!”

          Anticipates

          “Yes”

        1. Dream Group – Dream Journaling with Alysse Aallyn

          CREATIVITY – If your dreams are particularly imaginative and enjoyable, you are probably an artist. You have launched yourself already on the absorbing quest of reinventing the confusing realities that buffet us.

          We keep trapping ourselves in the maze but there is always a way out. Close your eyes. Breathe. Don’t we all possess inherently the goddess’ power of making Something out of Nothing? Think. Feel. Give yourself permission to explore. Look at the tactile world around you and reach out yourhands. You are the pilot of your own life. Create your own dream.

          Artists are immortalized by their own thought and effort. If their productions are intriguingly beautifulthe rest of us are drawn in and our critical senses – our rejection and our fear – are tranquillized whilewe allow the artist to work their magic upon us. Artists aspire to be magicians of the mind and soul.

          CHALLENGE  –      If you create something unforgettable you will never be forgotten. You have thepower to open hearts, minds and brains as yours were first opened, when you looked upon this amazingworld for the first time  and tried to understand what you saw.

          DANGER – There is possibility here for such overweening pride that you place your own psyche aboveCreation in importance.   If you seek worship your own soul will be hardened unto death.

          OPPORTUNITY – You will join the gods in creating something really new that the world cannotlive without. The joy of sharing, the rapture of being known, the ecstasy of expression, of beingunderstood, will be yours.

          Models & Mentors – “Creativity is seeing what everyone else has seen and thinking what no one else has thought.” – Albert Einstein

          “Creativity can’t get used up. The more you use the more you have.” – Maya Angelou

          “Creativity is just connecting things.” – Steve Jobs

          “There is no innovation, no creativity, without failure.” – Brené Brown

          “What’s so fascinating about life is the constant creativity of the soul.” – Deepak Chopra

          MEDITATION –

          #Haiku: Creativity

          You: Immortalized;

          Fireborne

          Force majeure

          Create

          Become –

          Exalt

          You.

        2. Dream Group – Dream Journaling with Alysse Aallyn

          REGRET – Many anxiety dreams are about regret.  When we try to impartially study our dream content, the moods flood in, rocking our precarious stability.  Why are people so afraid of lookinginside? Because of Regret, that’s why. The things we’ve already done that we can never change. Seemingly hopeless sorrow builds – now we are helpless, we hate ourselves and we can’t fix anything. We are in for a bad, cold, frigid winter of discontent.

            YOU CAN LIGHTEN YOUR OWN LOAD – No one can do it but you. When you serve as prosecutorin your own life – guess what? – that’s not fair. Fundamental Attribution Error is people blamingindividuals for actions that were the result of systems; mass decisions or circumstances over which theyhad no actual control. Look into it, if you want to. (Sometimes we need to.) Or you can just forgive yourself and move on. After all, we’ve got the future to think of.

            CHALLENGE – Let’s get out our Dream Journal. What would you change NOW? How doyou WANT to change? Forgive yourself. You were held hostage by fortune (we all were)and you went full-on Stockholm Syndrome and identified with your attackers and tried toplease them. (We all did. It’s called Society.) Now you’re madder at yourself than you areat them. Forgive yourself. We’re starting a new life. One where it’s US who’s in charge.

            DANGER – You’re in another part of the forest. Surprise! This wasn’t the plan but here you are. TheDanger is always that you’ll give up. Surrender. Don’t. You can easily see from every fairy tale andhero’s journey you’ve ever studied that now we’re getting to the Good Part. By testing your muscle, youGROW your muscle. If your muscle is never tested, it withers. So let’s go!

            OPPORTUNITY – We don’t know everything. Even Jesus demonstrated surprise about the way thingsturned out. Be gentle as a dove, he advised, but wily as a serpent. Serpents can get out of anything. (Aska herpetologist.) And so can you. It’s just a bigger world than we knew – both inner and outer – so getmapping. I guarantee you – IT GETS BETTER.

            Models & Mentors –  “I’d rather regret the things I’ve done than the things I haven’t done.”

            – Lucille Ball

            “There are no regrets in life, only lessons.” – Jennifer Aniston

            “We have only one life, and the second life begins the moment we realize that fact” – Confucius

            “I was designed by my Creator to not only feel pain and love but to become whole inside it. I am a Warrior” –Glennon Doyle

            “Autumn, the year’s last, loveliest smile” – William Cullen Bryant

            MEDITATION –

            #Haiku: Regret

            Coulda

            Woulda

            Shoulda

            Didn’t. Now you

            Wish

            Things

            Different.

            Clean slate.

            Write.

          1. Dream Group – Dream Journaling with Alysse Aallyn

            DREAM CONTENT – RELAX – Take a deep breath as you face the content of your dreams.  

              YOU HAVE INNER RESOURCES – FOCUS your power by closing your eyes and – relaxing. Are youafraid you might fall asleep? So much the better – we need these dreams to be our map and guide.Dreaming of hot summers, beach, umbrellas, ocean, sand? You are longing for a “getaway” and the verybest and most refreshing vacation is to disappear inside yourself. Let’s learn to “see” with that Third Eye– the Wisdom Eye. Like every effort, it takes not just concentration but practice.

              DREAMS OF REAL EVENTS –  Is your brain flipping through its memories, disguising them, trying to make sense of them or imagining horrific detours? These are anxiety dreams. You fear that the causality of existence is basically nonsensical and cruel. The cure? Develop a “human flourishing” worldview. Use your models and mentors to investigate the requirements of life enhancement. What about love? When your dreams fear it doesn’t exist, you need to develop loving relationships in your daytime life.

              DREAMS OF FICTIONAL EVENTS – Are you trying to process fiction read about and seen (often dystopian). Your shy heart is shocked to its core and your inexperienced brain is trying to make sense of it. But we know much online fiction is a race to the bottom, trying again and again to go over the top.

              PRACTICE SELF-CARE – Prioritize your well-being. If you spend four hours a day watching or playing nonsensical vitriolic junk, you should spend equal time on your improvement and self-soothing regimens. Think of it. EQUAL TIME. Obviously you need to start developing self-care regimens that are way more pleasurable than passive viewing.

              CHALLENGE – Check your immortal soul. Don’t think you have one? No wonder you’re scared, if you reduce yourself to chaff like yesterday’s lawn clippings!  You are certainly aware that all of human history has been devoted to exploring whether we have souls, where they come from and what happens to them. Probably you like – everyone –  is turned off by the idea that in order to have a soul you need to follow some religion’s requirements, laid down for you by its boss.

              But seriously, think about it. If part of yourself is immortal, with supernatural capabilities, doesn’t it, by definition, exist OUTSIDE all that stuff? Who put them in charge? If your immortal soul is the freest part of you, set it free indeed.  Use your imagination to imagine THOSE possibilities, instead of scaring yourself almost to death. And then – relax. 

              Inside yourself is you find everyone you have ever known, everyone you have ever loved, is there. Ifthat’s a tough one – and I know it’s making you gulp – here’s one tougher – everyone you ever WILLknow is in there too. You can learn to reach forwards as well as back. No, it doesn’t come immediately. But the exciting news is – you have all the time in the world.

              DANGER – You fear you will lose yourself. The worst fear is that you have no self to lose. You areyoung at this, and fresh, naïve and simple. A beginner. Accept that power. It is a wonderful thing whenthe baby begins to see. But what about Evil?  Isn’t that a thing? If I have Everything inside, then don’t Ihave Evil, too. And the mystic answer is Yes. But it can’t hurt you if you don the armor. The armor isLove, and I recommend you begin to study the subject. It isn’t strong enough yet, but you can strengthenit by Will. You must educate your will.

              OPPORTUNITY – You realize now that our dreams are forcing a choice – it really comes down to thatone thing – you must choose between Evil or Love. Evil promises it will “get the job done”, it will offer“special” unique opportunities, single you out for goodies, bring you hostages and slaves. But here’s theFact about Evil – it breaks all its promises because IT BREAKS YOU. Love promises Eternity and Joy,and it takes effort. It takes discernment, knowledge, commitment and growth. Love asks you to enter aprocess. Evil says you can just “take”, or even lie inert and be showered with benefits. One choice makes you beautiful, an athlete of the Soul, the other makes you hideously ugly, a blot that sucks in lightand depresses all who look at it.  Will you make mistakes? Inevitably. But we have been assured by the greatest minds of all time that we cannot lose. So, relax. 

              Models & Mentors: “Everything you want is on the other side of fear” – Jack Canfield

              “What you think, you become. What you feel, you attract. What you imagine, you become” – Buddha

              “You can’t stop the waves but you can learn how to surf” – Jon Kabat-Zinn

              “It takes courage to say yes to rest and play in a world where exhaustion is a status symbol” – Brene Brown

              ‘You are the silent watcher of your thoughts. You are the stillness beneath the mental noise. You are the joy beneath the love and pain” – Eckhart Tolle

            1. Dream Group – Dream Journaling with Alysse Aallyn

              Danger – Risk –

              Do You Fear Sleep? Afraid of nightmares? Do you wake up gasping and trying to forget what you’ve just experienced?

              Nightmares mean you’re paying attention. Life is scary, but we need to grow, and growth requires we learn to cultivate risk if we are ever to expand and venture outside our comfort zone.

              Challenge – Study risk intelligently. No point being afraid of dragons if dragons are only symbolic. No point being “afraid” of “foreigners” if the man telling us to be afraid has a reputation for befriending people and then fleecing them.

              Evaluatng Risk :

              1. Don’t rely on rumor and innuendo
              2. Dangers provably Real
              3. Dangers Historically verified by data: “How likely is injury?”
              4. Assemble Risk avoidance strategies that have performed well for others in your situation.
              5. What exactly is your situation? Quantify.
              6. Know who your friends are
              7. Be prepared to alter strategy to maximize success and to learn from mistakes

              Opportunity – You get to find out who your friends are. Friends want the best for you, but the relationship must be reciprocal. You have each other’s backs. Know the difference between a Team and a Gang. Gangs work to suck power from individual members and concentrate it in one individual. Teams work for the success of all. Coach can’t win if the team doesn’t win.

              Surrender is The Worst Alternative – Be alert to the danger of trauma bonding in which we try to pacify attackers by taking their side. Doesn’t work.

              Models & Mentors – “Extreme Fear can neither fight nor fly.”
              – William Shakespeare

              “Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear”

              – Mark Twain

              “If you try to get rid of fear and anger without knowing their meaning, they will return stronger” – Deepak Chopra

              “We’re more often frightened than hurt, and we suffer more from imagination than reality.” – Seneca

              Meditation –

              Haiku: Risk

              Regret
              Fear of
              Fearlessness: Launch
              Wise adventures