Alysse Aallyn

Category: #BestRevenge

  • Becoming a Goddess – the Goddess Oracle by Alysse Aallyn

    Duality – Ambivalence

    Some People Prefer Risk.   They don’t feel alive unless the situation is dangerous. What kind of goddess are you? The dangerous kind? Can you rush eternity? A hastened Immortality might not happen. More typical is ambivalence. We both want and don’t want – at the same time.

    How Many Different Goddesses Are You? Sometimes we dream disturbingly about things we don’t want and people we aren’t. Feminists dream of rape, vegetarians dream of meat, pacifists dream of fighting.  It’s confusing. What gives?

    Language Isn’t Subtle Enough to Explain You – Your personality manifests all feelings, all thoughts, all ideas, rippling through you in a vast subconscious river. Everyone’s does; not only those who choose to be Immortal. Your unconscious connects with the “collective unconscious” of all other humans – dead, alive, even fictional. They ripple through you regularly. That’s where all your ‘strange thoughts” and “other personalities” come from.

    Why isn’t “hate-love” a word? You experience that regularly. How about “fear-attraction”? Common! What I’m suggesting is that we need to accept the fact that a “personality” is a dynamism, not a label.

    Goddess Challenge – Facing your own fluid multiplicity might seem the toughest part, but it isn’t for artists, who routinely “play” along their edge, peeking over it and imagining life on the other side. Art is the best way to express this, an enormous relief since it’s non-committal. You can stop experimenting any time you choose. It’s a goddess power also. Of course, you’ll have to face the surprise of your relatives when your work becomes public: “Where did THAT come from?” But if truth be told, we’ve always been surprised we’re related to those people.

    Goddess Danger – Society seeks to label, limit and stigmatize. Everyone is afraid of becoming what they fear but Goddesses need to explore and ultimately manage our fear. A simple safe word won’t work when people – bankers, politicians, therapists, employers – are so fundamentally untrustworthy. That is why our identification of ourselves as Brave Goddess is so vital. The vastness of our potential can never be controlled by language. We will never be butterflies pinned down in a museum box for the instruction/curiosity of others.

    Goddess Opportunity – Appreciate your Multiplicitous Self.  Don’t slam the door on any of your potentialities too soon. Sometimes the worst labeler, the most determined jailor, is our own punitive psyche. We are deeply afraid of wandering in the forest and losing the way to get home safe. But Goddesses carry Home within them. As Nelson Mandela used to quote from his prison cell, if we are the captains of our  souls we can be the masters of our fates. (Henley.) We can learn to tolerate a little ambiguity/uncertainty/ambivalence.

    Goddess Tolerate Uncertainty – Being a goddess is all about balance.  The experience of balance-seeking is indescribable linguistically – it must be felt experientially. Goddesses learn to live in a world beyond language where we can savor uncertainty and foretaste eternity.

    Goddess Relish Paradox – Two contraries not only exist together but empower each other – that creative tension is the lifeblood of emotion, imagination and personality.

    Goddess Coast on the Knife-Edge of Ambivalence – The desired is undesirable, the only possibility is impossible and the act of wanting forbids getting. In the Multiverse (Eternity) all your impossibles are actually happening. Goddesses must become comfortable with the pleasures of this dance: “My future dissolves in beads of sweat, my present is my mirror, my past’s a shape-shifting whirligig.” (Aallyn)

    Even Leaders Must Contemplate the Power of  Surrender – We contemplate Everything. Physics is magic and dreams embody history. This quantum world of “spooky entanglements” is one in which we goddesses become expert. We accept not only that the cave we fear holds the treasure we desire, but that we are both cave and treasure, indeed, fear itself.

    Models & Mentors –  “It seems we are capable of immense love and loyalty and as capable of deceit and atrocity. It is this shocking ambivalence that makes us unique.” – John Scott

    “Ambivalence is a wonderful tune to dance to. It has a rhythm all its own.”

    – Erica Jong

    “The Simpsons is about alienation and the ambivalence of living with a family who you love but drives you crazy”

    – Matt Groening

    “Poetry is the home of ambiguity, ambivalence and uncertainty.” – Billy Collins

    #Haiku: Yin/yang

    Inclined to spring forward

    Fade back; yin;

    Urge to return?

    Float forward;

    Yang.

  • Becoming a Goddess – the Goddess Oracle by Alysse Aallyn

    Synchronicity – Education

      Goddesses Have One Thing In Common – and it isn’t beauty! It’s intelligence, but cultivated intelligence. You know what cultivated intelligence is? Education.

      Goddesses Have Vast Perspective – Across time, nations, histories, cultures…this universe is so rich that synthesizing its glories is a satisfying life’s work for anyone. But you need to know about those glories. Goddesses inform themselves. It’s much more unlikely you’ll be victimized or sidelined when you familiarize yourself with aggressor and hostage-taking strategies from, say, The Prince or The Art of War.

      Never Quit Learning. Synchronicity is the magic connector of daily life, but you can’t see it without Education. Do you dream of longed-for events and fulfillment? Glorious parties of blissful happiness where life finally seems to be unfolding exactly the way it should? Synchronous events are harmonious, as if the universe is a vast perfectly working clockwork machine. Understanding machines, systems, attribution and calibration are the subject of the educational process. This is the reason we spend the first twenty plus years of our lives in instructive settings.

      Goddess Learn for a Lifetime – Humans are fierce absorbers of knowledge. Advertisers know this, as do the designers of games and entertainment generally. We adore self-educating mazes. The complex dance between our skills, our bodily manifestation and the physics of reality is never-ending. Goddesses determinedly master the synchrony of Right Thought, Right Instruction & Right Action.

      Goddess Have Young Brains but Old Souls – We have seen, known, learned and struggled so much. We have much knowledge to pass on to the brash beginners. But we ourselves confront each day with Gratitude Practice – re-experiencing the thrill of being alive and relishing the challenge of bending the universe toward light.

      As We Fill Our Souls with Light We Confront the Darkness – Remember – always get the oxygen mask over your own face before you try to enlighten others. We need to design a life-long learning plan that benefits US, not one that puts our hard-earned money in someone else’s pocket.

      Beware the Quicksand – The culture seeks to bog us down in titles, degrees, honors, acquisitions and pro forma protocols. Don’t succumb. Our motion is always upward, our benchmark always healthy, top-level functioning. Are we becoming stronger, smarter and more peaceful? Can we pass this flexible, constructive protocol along? 

      Goddess Danger: we are seducible. We love to relax! We look for allies. We get tired, we long for reinforcements and approval. We just want to put our feet up.

      Learn today to calibrate your balance in this uncertain world. Write it out in your Goddess Journal before you go to sleep – what new thing have I learned today? Where will it fit along my map? But we are smart! Our self-designed goal system must contain refreshment and renewal breaks. Most importantly, we will be needing a buddy as we go through the system, and a spiritual guru who provably has our best interests at heart. You can recognize them by the fact that they don’t trap you into a dominance/submission matrix.

      Models & Mentors – “Education is the key to unlocking the world. It is the passport to freedom.” – Oprah Winfrey

      “Learning never exhausts the mind.” – Leonardo da Vinci

      “Education is the most powerful weapon you can use to change the world” – Nelson Mandela

      “Tomorrow belongs to the people who prepare for it today” – Malcolm X

      #Haiku: The Dark Ages

      Treasure Learning

      Compassion &

      Trust

      Bastion against

      These Dark Ages

    1. Becoming a Goddess – the Goddess Oracle

      Solitude – Self-Sufficiency

        Goddesses are Self-Sufficient.– You will need to become your own best friend. Have you been fearing time alone? This could be because you are aware of the important work you need to do in bringing your inner universes – past – present – future – and potential – into alignment. Carve out time to reflect on all your relationships. Goddesses are collaborative, never subordinate, although they are surrounded by diminishers.

         Our dreams alone could fill a shelf of books – and the dreams of a goddess have immediate reality. The first battle is increasing your Zone of Respect. Treating yourself with respect is vital. You will need to think seriously about ways you disrespect yourself, and why.

        Your Mind Is Your Most Important Tool – Sun Tzu reminds us that all battles are won and lost in the brain. Your mind determines your experience which controls your mind which develops your experience in a perfect feedback loop. In a culture based on “likes” from strangers we are all too ready to hand the reins of our brain over to God know who. Advertisers, influencers and partisans do NOT have your best interests at heart. We must learn how to turn that feedback loop into an upward trending spiral.

        After the Party Comes Cleanup – Goddesses develop self-confidence. Frustrated Goddesses devour themselves. We need to trust, not fear, our own reactions. This takes practice – “reps” in the words of the physical trainers. There is no need for two weeks alone on the Appalachian Trail (nice as that would be) because we are already alone inside our heads. Check your voices: what are you saying to yourself? “Good effort” or “Idiot”? It matters! Many of us treat ourselves worse than we would treat any other human (or animal.) That must change today.

        Goddess Danger – We are not proposing a life without feedback or a divorce from reality. If you really were your own best friend, you would protect, not isolate yourself. You would strategize your power towards health and sharing, not secrecy and isolation.

        Do You Hate Your Thoughts? – A recent poll discovered that most people would rather experience electric shocks than spend time alone with their thoughts, doing nothing but thinking. Just as mapping your future is an important Goddess job, so is mapping your brain.  Make yourself a person it’s a pleasure to spend time with. You are not lonely when you enjoy your own company.

        Your Goddess Journal Is Your Mirror – It anchors you with its reflection. It is not necessary to write long pieces – lists or single words are adequate. Visual thinkers may want to sketch out or paste in pictures. Your Goddess Journal answers the following questions: Where Have I Been? Where Am I Going? Who Am I? Meditate 20 minutes a day on these issues.

        Goddess Opportunity – Find a voice you respect and admire to model your internal voice. We all need a life coach or a cheerleader in our corner. Learn to enjoy time alone by building in rewards – indulging in nourishing hobbies as simple as walking and reading. You don’t need rocket science, you need a healthful day to day peaceful retreat inside your own head.

        Ask Yourself What You Take For Granted – This is the part of the picture that’s hardest to see. Because we take it for granted! Here is where your study of models can be helpful because you will be surprised by what other people take for granted. For example, some people assume being a goddess is constant partying and adulation, but to me, it is the peace of totally owning oneself and being responsible for oneself.  It is serfdom that is suffering and hardship.

        Gratitude Practice – Gratitude must be part of your everyday practice. Give thanks for this wonderful body, with its aches and cuts and bruises, eagerly shaping itself according to your efforts.  Give thanks for the freedom of your mind. Give daily thanks for the honor of being a Goddess.

        Models & Mentors – “Loneliness is the poverty of self – Solitude is the richness of self.” – May Sarton

        “The happiest of all lives is a busy solitude”  – Voltaire

        “Solitude is necessary for creativity” – Picasso

        “The best thinking is done in solitude” – Thomas Edison

        #Haiku: Selfish Armor

        Imagination untrammeled –

        My alone time’s

        For your protection

      1. Becoming a Goddess – the Goddess Oracle

        Recovery – Rebirth

          Goddesses Re-Imagine Themselves. This is a consequential power. You are not condemned to your past; not even to your biology. You are completely free to be whomever you choose – and to evolve in any way you choose. 

          You Know You Are A Goddess When: Have you been dreaming of rebirth?  Second chances? Starting over? Do you wake up in the middle of the night screaming, “Mulligan!”

          Isn’t Rebirth Really “Recovery”?  Recovery is what happens we repel a demonic force that kept us in thrall – could be addiction, illusion, corruption, compulsive behavior; even a poisonous culture.   Were we hostage to another human being who didn’t want the best for us?  Goddesses claim absolute freedom: this requires deep thought about our best interests. Freedom to do “anything” doesn’t serve us well. Freedom to “advance”, to “evolve” is what we crave.

          “The Bad News is Time Flies – the Good News is, You’re the Pilot.”  As our brains clear we get ideas. Ernest Hemingway used to say we are “stronger at the broken places”; Nietzsche expressed it as “what doesn’t kill me makes me stronger”. Healing provides peace as well as joy.  We give thanks that we have begun the journey.

          Starting Over Is About Expecting to Stumble.  Watching toddlers try to “rise and walk” we consider it lucky that they don’t mind being laughed at. (In fact, they love it.)  It takes them time to figure out this new challenge.  Like beginning skiers, they cling to objects, sway exaggeratedly back and forth, slam into things, and plop down SPLAT; not just once or twice but over and over.  The toddler hasn’t been born who suddenly vaults up suavely and starts swanning around in a sophisticated manner. Embrace the last step of Recovery: “Expect to go splat.” Of course we don’t WANT to – fingers crossed –  it’s dangerous and bruising.  We’d better arrange to have someone around – just in case.

          Do Goddesses Fall? Of course! Read Edith Hamilton’s Mythology is you have any doubts.

          You Don’t Fail Unless You Refuse to Rise Again. Don’t even bother counting the times you were “brave”.  It’s only the “getting back up” that counts. As long as you’re doing that, you’re a true winner.

          Goddess Danger – Life never goes the way we planned.  There’s the excitement of finding a plan, investigating goals, making them ours, and committing to the plan – and then there’s living the plan. Suddenly we don’t know how to get through the next ten minutes – worse, we make a “big mistakes” unconsciously. The rational self we’ve planned for fails to show up and instead we turn into some irrational monster who threatens murder when momentarily frustrated. This is like sport-learning. Allow each new behavior to penetrate every fiber of your whole body. Rehearse over and over. (10,000 times?)  It’s ALL mistakes at first.

          Concepts of “Perfection” and “Purity” Require Re-thinking and Re-framing. This exercise is more like forming calluses over tender new skin. It feels funny at first, sore. It might actually “hurt.” We’re on the early steps of a long journey to a wonderful place; and we won’t get there unless we forgive ourselves, pick ourselves up and keep going.

          Goddess Opportunity – To “acquire” some things means also to “surrender” others. Learning what to surrender to guarantee our lightness and power is part of being a goddess.

          Ever heard of a “dry drunk”?  The phrase refers to the state of envying those who “indulge” and feeling that we are somehow lesser, damaged beings because we “can’t.” How does this regret pertain to the goddess’s pledge of superior living? Contrast your planned empowerment with others’ benumbed abandon. Think about what this means. 

          Goddesses never envy loss of consciousness. We enhance consciousness.  

          Do Goddesses feel pain? Of course. (See Mythology.) Isn’t it always better to remove the source of the pain, the shame we are escaping from? Is the nostalgic fantasy of mental sleep Normals yearn for really some faint memory of union, with a lost, beloved Other? What would it mean to give up these blind yearnings, this cultivated pain and these unbearable memories to lead a fresh, released and intentional life? It means accepting and becoming a new self in all our exquisitely uniqueness, exploring everything that implies. Recovery is “self-forgiveness”; going forward with a clear-eyed, honest appraisal of ourselves, resources and desires. “I am free”

          Goddesses Crest the Wave – Most people have too narrow a self-definition to dare to try new things, but daring and courage are essential features of being a Goddess. Just because something sounds uncomfortable doesn’t mean we won’t someday like it so much we make it part of ourselves. If you’re used to sleeping on the floor, going without breakfast and struggling with a new language, you’ve learned to be unafraid of those things.

          Goddesses Are Cagey – We don’t expose ourselves to unnecessary danger. We are constantly developing our safety instincts to recognize insecure situations before they get out of control. A main reason for frugality is that situations can become “too comfortable” – your senses are being dulled! Sharpening senses is what Goddesses are all about!

          Goddesses Are Reborn Many Times – Creating our own maps means we go many wrong ways before we find the right one! It’s the process. Throughout our quest we transform ourselves many times to incorporate our new knowledge.

          Self-Definition Is Key – Should you be ashamed of taking a wrong turn? Or confident because you figured it out, and proud that you were able to change? Your body is completely new every seven years. You welcome every new day. You are eager to meet new people and find out what makes them tick. You like putting yourself in new situations and figuring out how to cope. Read “Survival” manuals and try out escape rooms with your friends. Explore the sport of orienteering.

          Models & Mentors – “Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life” – J.K. Rowling

          “The airplane takes off against the wind, not with it” – Henry Ford

          “Believe you can and you’re halfway there” – Theodore Roosevelt

          “The best way to predict your future is to create it” – Abraham Lincoln

          #Haiku: Recovery = Rebirth

          Mulligan –

          Rare gift;

          A “do-over”

          ‘Cause you DO know

          What you know now

        1. Becoming a Goddess – the Goddess Oracle by Alysse Aallyn

          Rainbow – Serendipity

            You Were Born Lucky!  You have to be lucky to deserve goddess-hood. It’s not for everybody. What is the greatest piece of good luck you’ve ever had? Your parentage? Talents? Home town? Best friend? A piece of advice? A special teacher? Think about it. Have you ever been offered a piece of good luck you couldn’t take advantage of, but wish you had?

            How Lucky Do You Need to Be? Ever seen the faces of gamblers seated hour by hour at the slot machines, wearing special gloves so their skin doesn’t fall off? Seriously, who would want to be them? Is it luck itself that we give thanks for, or our ability to recognize good fortune? Perhaps goddesses should give thanks for our innate ability to take advantage of a piece of good luck when we’re offered one. All these memories have one thing in common- i.e. “ability”, which is not luck, which is YOU. Give thanks for these abilities. Being a goddess is a glorious privilege. Let’s learn to develop gratitude thinking.

            Goddess Challenge – A different way of thinking about fortune is not all the wonderful things that didn’t happen, but the terrible things that COULD have happened – and didn’t. In other words, let’s try adopting a “glass half full” perspective and see how far that gets us.

            Goddess Danger – Now that you’re committed to the goddess path, the danger is always the same – recognizing your power but somehow being tricked into giving control of it over to some other entity that almost certainly doesn’t have your best interests at heart. We’re usually not even aware we’re doing this. But when you want to “be lucky” what does that mean? In whose eyes? Let’s put ourselves firmly in the driver’s seat and take a look at the path ahead of us. Do we want to go there? Do we really trust these people? Or are we the dog throwing away a real bone to reach the illusory bone we see pictured in the watery reflection of Aesop’s Fable?

            Goddess Opportunity – As we negotiate our mortal existence we have a unique chance to take advantage of serendipitous appearances and encounters. If we recognize it. Compare your path to the immortal framework of eternity and ask, How am I doing?

            How Did We Get Here? Turns out your Goddess Map is only a suggestion, full of surprises to keep things interesting. We are mapping as we go along. However, life is even more exciting, it turns out, than our imaginations.

            After the Storm – Comes the Rainbow! Every visible color – carefully separated out – forming an arch to give us a glimpse of heaven! If it didn’t provably exist, would we still believe in it?

            List Your Rainbows – Clouds may or may not have silver linings. Rainbows are a complete surprise – unconnected to the storms that spawned them. Write about the surprises in your life in your Goddess Journal. How many were nasty? How many joyous?

            The Universe Conspired – To bring you to this moment. You zigged, you zagged, you wound up here. Give thanks!

            Models & Mentors – “Serendipity is when you find things that you weren’t looking for because what you are looking for is so damned difficult”

            – Erin McKean

            “Steer Into the skid” – Alysse Aallyn

            “Here you are moving ahead bravely in spite of everything going wrong” – Rithvik Singh

            “Take advantage of happy accidents” – Vincent van Gogh

            “There are no coincidences” – Sigmund Freud

            #Haiku: Rainbow – Serendipity

            Happenstance –

            Fortuitous

            Chance; we’re

            Born lucky

            We just don’t know it.

          1. Becoming a Goddess – fulfilling the Goddess Oracle by Alysse Aallyn

            Peace – Serenity

              Do Goddesses get time off?  They need it!  Are your reveries organized around beaches, vacations, relaxation, memories of happy times when you had nothing to do but enjoy yourself feeling only the moment? Goddesses have a heavier lift! We have to live in four time frames at once – past, present, future AND possible!

              Is Peace Possible? Consider Serenity as an Idea, and an Ideal. Most of us are familiar with the “serenity prayer” written by theologian Reinhold Niebuhr:

              “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference, living one day at a time; enjoying one moment at a time; taking this world as it is and not as I would have it; trusting that You will make all things right.“

              The Serenity Prayer works as an inoculation against pointless worry, which it sees as “borrowing trouble.” The benefit of cultivating serenity is that it allows tender shoots to grow and broken limbs – and organs – to mend.

              Goddess Challenge – Like meditation, serenity is a mental gymnastic that takes practice. Make a list of your most pressing concerns. Can you do anything about any of them today? If so, appoint a time when you will take a step towards resolving this concern. If you can’t do anything about it, put it forcefully out of your mind. Goddesses aren’t in charge of the universe! We are merely an upgrade in toughness and heroics. Imagine your worries as a bunch of balloons. Now let them go, one by one. Put each useless worry on a piece of paper and burn them slowly, one by one.

              Goddess Mantra – Give yourself a “serenity mantra” a word or phrase you find comforting and centering, and repeat it out loud to yourself. St. Julian of Norwich recommended: ”All will be well”, Coué offered, “Every day, in every way I am getting better and better”, some yoga enthusiasts chant a simple “Om.” You can use a phrase from your own past said to you by a Beloved Person – “now you’ll be fine” “You’re safe” “You’re perfect” “Everything’s all right” or the tried and true: “I love you.” My favorite is from the Book of Revelation: “Every tear is wiped away.”

              Goddess Danger – Don’t be tempted to become a mentor while you’re still learning. Goddesses usually want to be helpful but this can be a snare. Mentoring is an end-of-life honor, but you are still placing the oxygen mask on your own face so that you can stay on your plan. Not everyone has the steel to graduate to Goddess. You’re welcome to show friends the basics but don’t bother to walk them through it. You’re nobody’s nanny. You’re busy.

              FOMO – We are all worried about “missing” something. Often that “centering person”, that reassuring person from our past is not just the one who gave us the relaxation code, but is also the same one who told us what to worry about: ie. ”Make sure all the locks are locked” “Have you done your homework?” There certainly are things to be concerned about (“Are you registered to vote?”) but there are plenty of worries we CAN’T address. Return to the serenity prayer and start weeding out – on paper – your Justifiable Concerns. One of the best things about Anxiety – and I mean this – is that it offers an opportunity to ask for help. Yes, I say “opportunity”! Because – remember The Lovers -life is all about RELATIONSHIPS.

              Worries offer Opportunities to Forge More Meaningful, Worthwhile Relationships. Get ready to experiment. In every relationship in your life, your requirements, tolerance, communication goals will present as unique. Many people yearn to speak to a “professional” – therapist or life coach – and plenty of professionals out there are auditioning for a little – or a lot – of your hard-earned cash. An excellent place to start is with Proven Gurus like Tolle Eckhart or Pema Chodron who can be accessed for free from any library. See what you think. Evaluate their assistance. Inquire further.

              Goddess Know What They Have to Do – Others will be envious that we have laid out a plan for our lives, as well as that it is flexible, that it is life-enhancing and that it gives us permission to Enjoy. Be humble and unsurprised about this jealousy.

              You’re Entitled – Others also could find peace if they began to take control of the drama that rages within them. Point them in a hopeful direction but don’t get sucked in.

              Meditation Looks Like Dreaming – The truth is just what they suspect: that there is enormous pleasure in being a goddess. You will finally feel confident, and when you know your own strength, and the value of your time, you understand your own value. This is what others yearn for. They can learn it, too. But in the mean time you are enjoying your hard-fought-for serenity.

              We Need So Little To Be Happy – Here is the great realization. Do goddesses require entourages or enablers and sycophants, vast bank accounts, and acres of product and showcase? Or is one bowl, one mat, one dawn enough for us when we are fueled by our own power?  Allow yourself to revel in the comfort of another’s presence or the private pleasures of your own thoughts and company. There will be the joy of another morning, the peace of another night’s rest. The confidence of maintaining a sharp, clear head. Welcome to the Universe.

              Models & Mentors – “Do not let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace.” – The Dalai Lama

              “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.” – Reinhold Niebuhr

              “Serenity of spirit and turbulence of action make up the sum of life”

              – Vita Sackville-West

              “Enjoy the peace of nature and declutter your inner world” – Amit Ray

              #Haiku: Peace – Serenity

              Melting heart;

              Compassion

              Purges

              Life’s shudders

              Restores

              Unruffled Depth

            1. Becoming a Goddess – Claiming Your Superpower by Alysse Aallyn

              The Storm – Conflict

                Something’s Always Coming. Are you having bad dreams? Of natural disasters like storms, volcanoes and  flooding?  Do you fear war, robbery, violation, home invasion? Or do you dream about your loved one’s face turning bitter and their words cutting sharply?  Conflict is inevitable.  It is even necessary – birth pangs seem terrifying. In dreams we rehearse our fears until some of us fear to dream.

                It Always Comes Before You’re Ready – Here it is – the reason you become a goddess. You must always be larger than the fight. You must embody the meaning of the fight, and to do that you have to discover what the meaning is. You represent the Principle of Life and have committed yourself to its immortalization.

                Battle or go under. It’s not pleasant under there. The force against you is superior – unthinking – inhuman – so you will have to be wily and know when to expend energy and when to conserve your strength.

                You are a Force Field.  You are a magnet for desire, change, for evolution itself. This comes by virtue of your goddess decision making. Others may tell you to stand back, take your place in line or wait your turn but your appearance into this chaotic universe triggered no such guarantee. We are here to learn to use our power.

                Conflict Makes a Goddess – Force stirs up resistance.  Actions create re-action as we swing back and forth in our determination and direction. We clash and crash.  Sometimes we regret it bitterly, “why did I do that?”  Sometimes we fear loss or harm so much we become immobilized.  The challenge is to assume your stride, elucidate your goals and plan a direction.

                Goddess Danger – It’s all too easy to make others fear you. The one with the biggest weapon THINKS she the fight. But what looks like compliance to you could be revolution – you will be toppled and lose your heart’s desire.

                Goddess Opportunity – Learning to use conflict constructively and creatively is a Superpower.  Other people are force fields, too.  If there is any way to blend these powers and head in the same direction, we become invincible. Welcome the knowledge provided by Storm.

                Study Your Opponent – Some clever scholar has separated these opponents into groups & classes. Read up! Some opponents – physical contests, weather conditions – don’t even have a brain. So who – or what – are you playing against?

                You Are Playing Against Yourself – your own fear, incapacity, beginner status. Seek mentoring so you have advice along the journey. Who is the sensei who will guide you? Someone who desires both your safety and your growth.

                Reward Yourself – The best place to do this is your training journal. Think hard about every contest and how you performed.  Assess your challenges and accomplishments. Way to go!

                Models & Mentors –  “I used to tell myself, boy, if you can survive this, you can survive anything” – Tom Lichtenberg

                “Laughter is the proof that our tragedies don’t define us. Laughter is the survivor’s language” – Josh James

                “Cancer didn’t bring me to my knees, it brought me to my feet”

                – Michael Douglas

                “If you want to awaken humanity, awaken yourself. If you want to eliminate suffering, eliminate what is negative in yourself. Your gift to the world is our self-transformation.” –Lao Tzu

                #Haiku: Sleuth

                Named is

                Tamed.

                Brainstorm:

                Exceed

                Outstrip

                Surpass

                Unveil

                Lay bare

                Prevail

              1. Becoming a Goddess – uncovering your Superpower by Alysse Aallyn

                Autumn – Facing Regret

                  Something’s bothering you. Immortality is a lot of hard work, that seems to require giving up life’s tiny but expensive (physically And financially) comforts. Do you lie awake at night recalling bad moments from the past? The Regret Oracle says you need tackle the problem of “change” NOW. What moods flood in when you close your eyes? What would you change NOW? How do you WANT to change?

                  Why are People so Afraid of Looking Inside their Psyches?  Because of Regret, that’s why. The things we’ve already done or that we already are that can never be changed. Sorrow floods in – now we feel helpless, we hate ourselves and we can’t fix anything. We fear we are in for a bad, cold, frigid winter of discontent.

                  Lighten Your Load – No one can do this but you. You are serving as prosecutor against your own life and guess what? – that’s not fair. Fundamental Attribution Error means people blaming individuals for actions that were the result of mass decisions or life circumstances over which they had no actual control. Look into it, if you want to. (Sometimes we need to.) Or you can just forgive yourself and move on. After all, we’ve got the future to think of. Our Inner Goddess won’t be stymied.

                  Goddess Challenge – First, forgive yourself. You were held hostage by fortune (we all were) and inevitably you went full-on Stockholm Syndrome and identified with your attackers and tried to please them. (We all did. It’s called Society.) Now you’re madder at yourself than you are at them. Forgive yourself.

                  Goddess Danger – The moment you drop that burden, you’re in another part of the forest. Surprise! This wasn’t the plan but here you are. The Danger is – you’ll give up. Don’t. NEVER GIVING UP IS THE GODDESS’S SUPERPOWER. We CREATE paths where none existed. You can easily see from every fairy tale and hero’s journey you’ve ever studied that now we’re getting to the Good Part. By testing your muscle you get to grow your muscle. If your muscle is never tested, it withers. So get ready.

                  Goddess Opportunity – We don’t know everything. Even Jesus demonstrated surprise about the way things turned out. Be gentle as a dove, he advised, but wily as a serpent. Serpents can get out of anything. (Ask a herpetologist.) And so can you. It’s just a bigger world than we knew – both inner and outer – so get mapping. I guarantee you – IT GETS BETTER.

                  YOUR Personal Superpower: Our brains are constructed in a way that allows us to move backward and forward through time, watching and judging ourselves from the outside, always considering multiple possibilities, outcomes and problems. We have a tendency to regard this power as a burden and envy those whose lack of questioning seems to make them more carefree. But it is this exact superpower that designates us as Goddess.

                  Even When We Enjoy We Regret: There’s always something we could have done differently. And that unknown outcome is bound to seem preferable to the reality in which we find ourselves. Don’t waste time on regret. You drew the “Regret” card to remind you that time – even pleasurable time – is always limited. Restrict the amount of time you spend on regret! Congratulate yourself on your ability to play a multi-level game, forward and backward through time, peopled by a panoply of characters. Open up your Training Journal and take a God’s eye view of your world. See anything different? Fresh? Exciting? New?

                  There’s Lots to Enjoy About Autumn – It’s a beginning, not an ending! The world is freshening up to divest those tired leaves and grow some sharper weather! Always consider the exercise possibilities. Maybe you can stay out longer! There’s a lot of fellow Goddesses in the Polar Bear Club!

                  Models & Mentors –  “I’d rather regret the things I’ve done than the things I haven’t done.”

                  – Lucille Ball

                  “There are no regrets in life, only lessons.” – Jennifer Aniston

                  “We have only one life, and the second life begins the moment we realize that fact” – Confucius

                  “I was designed by my Creator to not only feel pain and love but to become whole inside it. I am a Goddess” –Glennon Doyle

                  “Autumn, the year’s last, loveliest smile” – William Cullen Bryant

                  #Haiku: Regret

                  Coulda

                  Woulda

                  Shoulda

                  Didn’t. Now you

                  Wish

                  Things

                  Different.

                  Clean slate.

                  Write.

                1. Becoming a Goddess – the Goddess Oracle by Alysse Aallyn

                  Goddess – The Meaning of Power

                    To Become a Goddess Is to Accept Your Power.  But power is fearsome. We are all familiar with fires that escape control, rage-fueled emotional spirals, explosives that blow up their wielders and the dangers of endlessly escalating weaponry. Once the Goddess’ unleashes power, much can go wrong.

                    The Power is there whether you claim it or not. To abjure your power is to deny your personhood – something women and marginalized groups have always been commanded to do.  If you try to get in touch with your personal power, won’t you tempt established Power to come after you? 

                    Power is About More than Control and bending unfriendly circumstances to your desire and will. It is the process of fulfilling your natural growth pattern, becoming the person God always intended you to be. You have an immortal mandate but you must claim it.

                    You Are Iconic –Goddesses invoke more than magic, they exemplify the inherent magic that is especially, irreplaceably Individuated Self. You have a power no one else has, incorporated in your being, your possibilities, your desires and your memories.  This takes a lifetime to accept because we all nervously want to be Someone Else and experience existence through the armor of Having only an Outside instead of just the very vulnerable Inside in which we all feel imprisoned. 

                    Only Illegitimate Power Will Fear You –  The Universe that God created accepts a glorious new creature fulfilling their immortal mandate, while stolen power – the desire to crush, to control and to drain – will be forced to reveal itself in the fullness of its jealous evil.

                    Dreams Will Instruct You –  Your dreams bring all these passions together as psychic poetry, elucidating what you think you want, what you hope you want and what you are afraid you want. The ultimate magic is to seize conscious control of this potent power source.

                    Goddess Challenge – The challenge is to truly connect with others, reveal our world Inside, and avoid blasting their apparently impenetrable Outside with our terror, our longing and our fear. As the demons come after you, you will deploy the skills and techniques of dissembling, transmutation, transformation, mirror-magic and emotional mastery. The demons are hungry, pathetic in their eternal emptiness.

                    Goddess Danger – We cannot take hostages and we must never become a hostage. Freedom is a fine line to walk. If we wish to reach out, we must treat those struggling to stand upright with respect and demand like respect for ourselves. Accept your “experiments”; do not fear them but allow them to take you where you need to go.

                    Goddess Opportunities – There will be stumbles and terrors aplenty, also successes that LOOK like stumbles and terrors, but which we only realize on reflection were real leaps forward. This is why we must carefully assess our daily efforts without being harsh with ourselves. Speak gently to yourself as you would to a most beloved child. You are the Universe’s Own Beloved Child. It is not selfish to commit to this belief, it is simply placing the oxygen mask over your own face FIRST so that you can administer this life-saving force to others. Find someone with whom you can share your journey, without fear or judgment. This connection will teach us everything we need to know about how to connect with others.

                    Fear & Trembling: Where would we ever get the courage to become goddess? Human history begins with an enormous fear of the Almighty or whatever is causing all that lightning, those earthquakes and striking everybody down. Killing small helpless, pretty things was meant to be flattering and propitiatory to this God (I don’t get it either.) Then Jesus arrived with a message about how God was really loving, generous and wanted the best for us. We know how that turned out.

                    Becoming a Goddess: As children, we struggled to understand where we fit on the power spectrum. I tried killing a snake, and experimented with bullying other children the way I was bullied. I didn’t care for it. The only relief was in thinking about, researching and understanding the philosophical concepts about what was going on. My earliest researches, as for many children, were in astronomy and dinosaurs. The cold magnificence of the planets and the complete wipeout of the dinosaurs gave me a way to stand back from the immediate suffering of the schoolyard. I then moved on to the early Egyptians who tried to solve their problems through magic and art. The art was visually appealing and the magic was emotionally soothing.

                    Pick Your Battles: I saw that most schoolyard fights were a reaction to the immediate suffering of pain or confusion, and that they magnified, rather than solved, those problems. There was a manifest holiness about this discovery. It rescued me from the torture of everyday life and elevated me to a plane where every other contributing thinker had already become immortalized.

                    Study & Strategy: I read everything I could get my hands on in history and biography (research) and in fairy tales (magic). When I fell in love with the novels of C.S. Lewis and Rumer Godden, the world judged my taste good – when I discovered Agatha Christie, it did not – but it turned out everyone else was reading her too. Agatha is a short course on human nature (original sin) and a proponent of both the scientific and Socratic methods. She’s great training for a Goddess. I wrote it all down in my Training Journal.

                    Claiming Your Power: By the time you’re a teenager you can see you have some power – some mental, some physical. The question is developing it and finding appropriate gurus. It is key to step out of the dominance/submission game.

                    Keep Going – Recognize that you have been touched by the goddess and honor her by being grateful for the glorious gifts of life.

                    Models & Mentors: “I did not deceive you. I permitted you to deceive yourself.” Agatha Christie

                    “An Indian proverb says everyone is a house with four rooms – physical, mental, spiritual and emotional. Most of us live in one room or the other but if you don’t visit each room each day you are not a complete person.” – Rumer Godden

                    “You are never too old to dream a new dream or set a new goal”

                    – C. S. Lewis

                    “You have to believe in yourself” – Sun Tzu

                    #Haiku: Wyvern

                    My power

                    Beast bristles

                    Fire;

                    Eats critics

                    Guards path

                    Sleeps in my

                    Mirror

                  1. Animus – a ghost story by Alysse Aallyn

                    SIX – FISHBABY

                    Those who sleep alone risk scarifying dreams. I dreamed I’d had the baby, and it was some kind of hideous ordeal. Call it a “trauma trigger”. I came back into myself hospitalized, bandaged head to toe and in traction. At first I was so disoriented I thought I was upside down, floating on the ceiling, but the ceiling was stainless steel and it was my reflection that I saw. The nurse approached from a long way off, carrying something in stiffly held out arms. That nurse’s face was so familiar, but who was she? I had only seen my uncle’s housekeeper once so why should it be her and not merely one of those recycled faces that haunt our dreams? The bundle offered was a fish.

                    I knew she expected me to reject it – call the maitre d’ it and demand a replacement, but I don’t do what people expect. Besides, it had very human eyes, big and sad, with tears woefully a-boiling in its depths. With great effort I wrenched out of my bandages and out of my traction, grabbed my baby and ran away. Obviously this was a terrible hospital, where people give birth in traction and your baby is a fish. A carp, from the look of him, and

                    not the lucky kind.

                    He said, “Mummy, mummy,” but whether he recognized me or commented on my bandages I couldn’t say. Hard work running through sand, because that’s where I bogged down. A bunch of golfers grabbed my baby, tossing him into the air with jeers and screams. The baby looked at me imploringly with its chocolate brown eyes, but what could I do? They had cleats and

                    clubs and all I had bandages. And I was losing strength, keeping only just enough to wonder, why golfers at the seaside? They tossed my baby in the ocean but I wasn’t having it. Waded right in after him but to my shock I soon was drowning. Can’t swim in bandages. You’d think the fish would return the rescue favor, but no. He was nowhere to be seen. It seems you can’t rely on anyone.

                    When a dream becomes this disgusting you know it’s past time to wake up. I was fighting my way out when I encountered Arnold’s eyes. Looking at me as if I were loathsome.

                    right.

                    help me.”

                    “You’re all over blood,” he said. And he was I said, “That blood was our child. Help me, But it had been too late from the first. The

                    hospital had a stainless steel ceiling; how could I have guessed? Time seemed to loop; there was a panic-driven moment as they wheeled me conscious right to the operating table. Is “awake till the end” the punishment for being a bad wife, bad hostess, or bad mother? Behind the anesthesiologist’s mask I thought I saw my uncle’s eyes. I was out before I could ask what “D & C” stands for. Diddled, then cauterized?

                    SEVEN – HAUNTED

                    Arnold was enormously relieved that I was no longer pregnant. I was enormously relieved that Stan and Willette went home. Arnold was further relieved that the satellite guy installed the dish the day of my return; I was relieved that without a special dish it seemed we could get no local stations. Bait and switch, said Arnold.

                    But it meant I could pretend I was no longer here. Didn’t matter that this was my own ice floe; freely chosen. Somehow, even dead and stupid, my uncle had won and I had lost. Money meant nothing. The stupid dead had scored again.

                    “We played strip poker because you went to bed so early,” Arnold defended himself. Thus the guilty flee where none pursue. “Jealousy does not become you.”

                    But had I become jealousy? The better to consider this possibility I turned down the sound on the plasma TV, then finally the picture. It was more fun to watch the raindrops slide together. Raindrop sex. Boy drops and girl drops, maybe even gay drops. Meeting and joining. Becoming one.

                    “You know it takes a village to maintain a marriage,” huffed Arnold. “Bartenders, bankers and stand- up comedians.”

                    And pretty, pretty grad students? He didn’t say. I ignored him till he said the magic word. The magic word was “drink.”

                    He said, “No reason you can’t drink now.”

                    Over a baloney sandwich and a glass of Chianti I began to feel forgiving. Someday I would have to go on a diet, find out if my body was still there, but not today and not tomorrow. Percocet enhances Chianti wonderfully. Without that dualism, if you scrape away the op layer of pain, deeper pain just bubbles up from underneath.

                    “I’ve seen your ghost,” said Arnold. “It’s a guy in a lumberjack shirt.”

                    But he had never seen my uncle. Not even a picture. “Describe him.”

                    “Hair the color of driftwood with a widow’s peak, and olive drab pants.”

                    “Did he look at you? Speak to you?”

                    “Looked through me. Came right into the study when I was working. I think he was looking for

                    you.”

                    That was just mean. Utterly uncalled for. He was punishing me for my jealousy by making all this up. Why would my uncle’s ghost appear to him? I bet Arnold read my diary while I was in the hospital, helpless. It was just the kind of thing that he would do. People without gifts batten on the bounty of others.

                    “That diary is private,” I warned him. “You’re the one saying married people don’t share everything.”

                    “Bet he thinks that this is his house,” mused Arnold, relentless. “Since you bought it with his money.” He rose, whistling cheerfully at freedom from the sickroom. “I’d better get back to work if I want to have something to show my agent.”

                    “Leaving me, are you?”

                    “Just a day trip to town on Friday. That is, if you’re feeling better.”

                    He didn’t bother to invite me. Me, who had done so much for him!

                    “You be careful,” I threatened, “You’ve got “Not me,” he sneered. “I’m a modernist.” Could it possibly be that easy? If

                    “modernists” were truly ghost-blind, maybe you need a conscience to see ghosts. He should at least be haunted by his fishbaby. Find the meaning, the challenge was always the same. Without meaning everything’s just another trauma trigger. What do refrigerators and meatsafes have in common? They slow down time. If Time truly has no meaning, don’t you see? It means we are free. We always have been free.

                    I climbed out of bed, awkward because my limbs still belonged to someone else, and checked my underpants. No blood. Maybe all my blood was gone. If I was a ghost that explained everything. Arnold couldn’t see me because he was a modernist. So it was up to me to tell him what we all had suffered. Being ghostly gave me such a rush of power I finally understood how hard it is for them to leave.

                    I took time to gather flies’ wings as I walked. Little boys tear the wings off flies; ask anybody. I thought they’d stir to life beneath my hands, but they stayed dead, so perhaps they’re only unshed tears. I’m a beginner at this. What do I know?

                    I pushed open the door to Arnold’s study. There was a bad smell in there and it was Arnold. He hummed Wagner as he worked; a classic song of triumph. On the wall were blow-ups of my diary, in my private, loopy handwriting, my private, private words. Tabloid articles he’d pasted to the wallpaper; “Mom Kills Twelve”; “Satan in Miami”, “BatBoy takes a Bride”.

                    The wallpaper was so beautiful in this room; it was the best in the house; a Morris pattern of leaves and mulberries and I hadn’t grudged it. It was priceless, probably irreplaceable; and this what I get. Anger postponed becomes rage and rage is truly liberating. I picked up the scissors from a pile of newspapers. Stupidly he’d placed his desk in the window embrasure, allowing me to walk up behind him. “Modernists” are ignorant of fear.

                    “So what’s it called?” Peeking over his shoulder.

                    He jumped a mile, scampering to close and save, frantic, busy, ineffective. But the printout lay right next to him. MOODY BITCH SEEKS KIND, CONSIDERATE MAN. I laughed because it was funny.

                    “It’s a comedy,” he said defensively.

                    “Aren’t I laughing?” I agreed. The cold fire that doesn’t burn consumed me. I opened my fist to shower unshed tears along his keyboard and he saw the scissors. He went so white. I loved that finally he saw me as someone to fear. Now I knew what turned my uncle on. I opened my mouth to speak but my uncle’s dust boiled out of me and I can’t remember what I tried to say.

                    That I had bled and now it was his turn? That it only hurts for the first five seconds? That the living are as deserving as the dead? I should have told him it’s the little things…the glasses of wine, the band-aids, the unshed tears – still breaths of life that spark the dying air; these are agents of the dead rescinding time and looping it backwards. Back towards them. Because time’s the thing they’re so jealous of, the only precious thing that we have left.