Alysse Aallyn

Category: #CoDependence

  • Purrsiflage – Today’s Zen for Your Inner Cat with Alysse Aallyn

    Feb 23

    Day Seventy – Two

    Today the Multiverse Decides – Time to make peace with your elders.  Have you been dreaming of old people? Funerals? Aging in general? Gurus atop mountains?  Dreaming about Buddhas, caves, palaces of wisdom?  Or are you fixating on a specific elder who had an influence – bad or good – on your young life?

    Purrsons’ Effort Is Sacred – Failure is when you don’t try. Experience is the great teacher. Bad Judgment leads to Experience which leads to Wisdom which leads to Good Judgment.

    You Are Wiser Than You Know –– Contrast elders you admire with those you avoid. Aren’t the latter complainers who stress to everyone they meet what a bad hand life has dealt them? They complain about their health, politics, the weather, other people – whatever crosses the windscreen of their increasingly tightening minds. In their world children never call, doctors don’t help, media is lying, weather’s getting worse, food is adulterated and we are all going to hell. This person is clamoring ever more loudly for ego strokes without apparently noticing the discomfort and distaste of those around them. Rather than trying a new strategy, they step up their whingeing.

    Read the Room! Is what you want to scream at them but you realize they can no longer “learn.” This is the opposite of wisdom. This is senility. A brain is shutting down, a personality is beggared and no one wants to be around it.

    Think of an Elder you Admire. Nelson Mandela, Joe Biden, St. Joan, Desmond Tutu, The Dalai Lama, Deepak Chopra, Oprah Winfrey, Pema Chodron, the Pope? These persons are Ego-Less.  Someone who talks about others, not themselves. They authentically care for others. They discuss ideas rather than gossip and have a long memory of problems, solutions, trial and error. They keep themselves “young” in all the ways that matter. People flock to them.

    There’s an Old Cherokee Story about how each of us is born with a good wolf and a bad wolf inside of us. The one that gets stronger and takes control is the one you feed.  Your challenge is to figure out how to practice your increasing wisdom every day. Accepting your dreams and encouraging their deepening understanding is the beginning of wisdom.

    The Pursuit of Gurus is Inherently Dangerous because there are a lot of con artists out there seeking hostages and slaves. You require an experienced hostage negotiator to help free you. Avoid dominance/submission games and people who use any of the following interpersonal techniques:

    1.  They’re never “wrong.” They refuse accountability. Nothing is ever their fault. Only they know what is fashionable, appropriate and right. You are always wrong.
      • People only capable of hierarchical –  vertical, not horizontal relationships. Someone needs to be “on top.” It will never be “your turn.” You will always be dragooned into doing their bidding.
      • Blanket statements and generalizations – Thick layers of protective blather will keep you from getting through to discuss any task at hand.
      • Misrepresenting your thoughts and feelings to the point of absurdity – You are a poorly educated simplistic thinker and a deficient reasoner and they are in on all the secrets and are the source of all wisdom. There’s no “cooperating” with these people.
      • Nitpicking and moving the goal posts – Different rules for everyone and every day.
      •  Changing the subject to evade accountability – “This is your fault – You shouldn’t have given me that job to begin with.”
      •  Covert and overt threats –“If people know what you REALLY are, say, do, no one would be your friend.”
      •  Name-calling , stigmatizing, limiting– “Identity politics.” “You are a ___” Fill in the blank. And that’s all you’ll ever be in this guy’s eyes.

      2.  Destructive conditioning – Abuse, frustration and disrespect are this person’s calling archetypes but it’s never their fault that they live in a cloud of toxicity. They want you in there, too. Decline.

      • Smear campaigns and stalking – Endless power struggles. “Office politics.” Need I say more?
      •  Playing the Martyr – “Everyone’s lying about me. I have so many enemies!”
      •  Demands Immediate Unthinking Fealty – When someone stresses the fact that they are a “nice guy” or girl, that you should “trust them” right away or emphasizes their credibility without any provocation from you whatsoever, WALK AWAY.
      •  Baits and badgers you – testing your limits. Can you be made to lose control?
      •  Boundary testing –  “You owe me”  – “You’re committed” – “Everyone does it” to drag you into unethical enterprise
      •  Aggressive jabs disguised as jokes – “Can’t you laugh about yourself? Everyone else is laughing.”
      •  Condescending sarcasm and patronizing tone – Know-It-Alls

      No One Using the Above Techniques has your best interests at heart.

      Our Scars Define Beauty – You can see this is all about Control. Avoid those who seek to control or dominate you. Revered Elders such as those mentioned above would not do that. Treat others with respect and expect respect yourself.

      Purrsons Know Their Allies – Purrsons don’t fear becoming experienced. We seek it. People come and go, but the right ones stay. Time shows you the difference between the strength and honor of another’s heart. Purrsons share their knowledge.

      Purrsons Can Read the Signs – If you don’t believe in yourself, no one else will. Train yourself to trust yourself. You can read and write maps, you can interpret Nature, you see Red Flags before they wave for others.

      Purrsons Earn Peace – Random acts of kindness make everyone feel better. Purrsons’ “can do” attitude spreads peace. Purrsons welcome other peaceful spirits. We challenge the troubled to take their drama elsewhere.

      Models & Mentors – “You can’t control the wind but you can learn to adjust your sails.” – Jimmy Dean

      “It always seems impossible till it’s done.” – Nelson Mandela

      “Knowledge speaks but wisdom listens” – Jimi Hendrix

      “I am thankful to those who said No. Because of them, I did it myself.”

      – Albert Einstein

      “Experience is not what happens to you, but what you do with what happens to you.” – Aldous Huxley

      “It is never too late to be who you might have been” – George Eliot

      ‘Wisdom is the journey no one can take for us” – Marcel Proust

    • Purrsiflage – Today’s Zen for Your Inner Kitten with Alysse Aallyn

      Feb 22

      The Multiverse Runs on This Super-fuel – Do-overs. Clearing the slate completely. Letting go. Accepting fresh creation and creating freshly.

      We All Need to Forgive… and be Forgiven. We transgress again and again against our own hearts, our own souls, and the heart and soul of the universe. It is the essential state of being human, and Purrsons do not reject their humanity by encompassing our cat-like qualities. We intensify it.

      How Can We Go Back? Doesn’t forgiveness involve repair? Where can we go to trace exactly what went wrong? 

      Do you Dream of Home?  Often we dream of a home that no longer exists, or never existed. “Home” represents the state of psychic absolution where all mistakes are forgiven and forgotten.

      Purrsons Create the Future – We must commit to the ultimate compassion that we are all in this together. Jesus suggests that understanding doesn’t arrive until we learn to be the “forgivers”. Obviously, this means we must learn – somehow – to forgive ourselves.

      Purrsons Create Heaven – Such forgiveness helps us achieve the state of spiritual lightness that allows a Purrson to float through time, history, even the multiverse.

      Purrsons Are at Home in the World – What’s your “dream home”? A Purrson’s training emphasizes understanding and managing the fragility of the human body and the objective world, and accepting our healing and unifying mandate. Once we have scoped out the terrain and the inhabitants, Purrsons are at “home” anywhere.

      Purrsons are About Justice – But not the kind that leaves more brokenness behind. Purrsons achievements and physical selves display the triumph of thought, will and love.

      What Does It Mean to “Start Over”? – We don’t wish to be free of “consequences”. We want to learn and grow from our mistakes but not be humiliated and punished for them. Pretending consequences didn’t happen doesn’t free us. Seeing our mistakes as moves in a dance we are all contributing to frees us from painful rumination and helps escape and explain the prison of blame. “I did this because you …”  Cats live in the Now. Human interactions are a tar-pit in which we trap and tar ourselves. We realize we need to forgive every chain in the event pattern if we are ever to have any peace.

      It’s All About You – Robert Frost defines “home” as a place where, when you show up, they have to take you in. Defining “they” defines your group, your original home. Philosophy may provide an answer. Buddhists see history as a circle, Christians as a spiral. The question for Christians is, which direction is the spiral headed and do we have time to learn what we need to know before there’s a cataclysm?  Can you define the mess we’re in and intuit your behavioral contribution? Is it possible to detach from the mess? In what group – or even in what “moment” can you detach from the mess?

      Purrsons’ Danger – We can’t afford to get mixed up about right and wrong. “By their fruits shall you know them.” Think it through. One avenue leads to health, dignity and growth; the other leads in the opposite direction.  Don’t make the mistake of “fundamental attribution error”. The threat is NOT coming from inside the house. Martin Luther King Jr. made the wise comment that our specific brand of capitalism tends toward is “socialism for the rich and rugged individualism for the rest of us.” It certainly suits corporations to lecture their employees on building a better world without incorporating any of those ideas into the bigger picture, where we personally have no control while they demand absolute freedom to do whatever whimsy directs.

      What Is the Bigger Picture? Health and safety for all living things to achieve their growth potential as part of a harmonious, non-exploitative whole. It is key that our resistance – which is necessary and life-giving – not embitter us.

      Forgiveness Is Our Armor – Forgiveness doesn’t require ignoring the past or accepting bad behavior. It’s part of an interaction where forgiveness is a request, not a demand. Usually there is a recognition of fault or an expression of remorse: “I’ll never do that again!” When the requesting party instead seeks permission for the suffering to continue, “I can’t change – that’s the way I am” — that’ a different request. “Home” is not re-created that way. Hell is. Your opportunity is to point this out – if necessary, (because of safety) only to yourself. “If I’m not willing to try giving up my participation in this suffering because I think I’m not able to, then this pattern will continually get worse.” Time to construct a better – more intelligent map.

      Models & Mentors – “It’s not an easy journey to get to a place where you forgive people. But it’s a powerful place, because it frees you” – Tyler Perry

      “The practice of forgiveness is our most important contribution to the healing of the world”

      – Marianne Williamson

      “The weak can’t forgive. Forgiveness is an attribute of the strong” – Mahatma Gandhi

      “To forgive one another, we must understand one another” – Emma Goldman

      “Forgiveness does not exonerate the perpetrator. It liberates the victim. It’s a gift you give yourself” – T.D. Jakes

    • Purrsiflage – Welcome to Your Daily Cat Zen with Alysse Aallyn

      Feb 21

      When You Wake Up This Morning – You realize, the future weighs on you. Will you be found wanting? 

      This is a Message from the Multiverse – these oppressive anxieties match with universal preoccupations. The planets slow when we don’t acknowledge their power. Let’s make friends with our anxieties. Uncertainly beleaguers us. Is there a way to divine the future? 

      Consult Your Dreams. The Number One question people have about dreams is, Are they prophetic? And the answer is of course YES. We KNOW the “truth’. We fear the truth.  We don’t want to face the truth. We tremble at the continuing “losses” of age because the accretions are so hard to see. But our dreams – and the collective unconscious – KNOW what is going on. We are weaving straw into gold on a daily basis, transmuting the physical into the spiritual. 

      Dreams are also Art, and art – especially good art – is as forcefully mysterious, meaningful and evocative as any living thing. It changes as you change.  It changes depending on how you look at it. 

      If Purrsons Need Truth. Purrsons Must Accept Revelation – Dreams tell us when to be afraid. Dreams warn when something is missing. Dreams uncover all the secrets you have been keeping from yourself.  

      The First Obligation : Purrsons Accept is that the truth will set you free.  The second, is that although it can be terrifying, the truth is necessary. Purrsons spurn the hiding, lying, misrepresentation, that substitutes for truth. 

      Purrsons Can Handle the Truth – We are human, we are imperfect, and we need each other. Humans need governance and law to regulate our natural blindness and selfishness (which some would call original sin) into peaceful accord. The truth also is also that humans who lust only for power will eternally angle to get themselves into positions of control, exclusion and punishment. These impulses must be identified and weeded out and it is courageous, difficult, and really unwelcome work, because we Purrsons, we loving, generous Purrsons also have our own lives to live. 

      Purrson Danger – Our dreams notify us when one of these lethal persons is in our midst. Our maps & models offer a variety of plans for confrontation and escape, and a recipe for courage. At the present time, the Lethal Persons are banding together and hoarding weapons to give themselves even more guarantees for power and opportunities to welcome our despair. 

      Purrson Promise – Jesus said evil will not win. The challenge is to explore what ELSE he said, indeed, what is the message of all the great teachers? People who tell you to hate one another and go to war with one another are agents of evil. The first challenge is to create peace in our own hearts, peace in our own lives, peace in our own homes, and then start developing compassion for those who are not so lucky. 

      When Brutal Tactics and Empty Promises are Exposed as family destroyers, peace destroyers and community destroyers, we see clearly that efforts to spread and share despair come from an innate desire to surmount despair, but also that this has never worked and is not working.  It allows the torturer (and the tortured) only the briefest respites. Only when the goal of increasing world suffering is finally given up can we welcome penitents back into the communion of equality. 

      Models & Mentors – “We write the future moment to moment” – Pema Chodron 

      “The best prophets lead you up to the curtain and leave you to peer through for yourself” – Frank Herbert 

      “The greatest thing a human soul can accomplish in this world is to see that poetry, prophecy & religion all are one”– John Ruskin 

      “The best way to predict the future is to create it”– Abraham Lincoln 

      “Yesterday has gone, tomorrow has not come, let us begin” – Mother Teresa

    • Purrsiflage – The Multiverse Counsels Your Inner Cat – with Alysse Aallyn

      Feb 16

      Let the Multiverse Inform You – Let’s access ALL the gifts of the Purrson, including our cat-like resources of sensitivity and intuition to allow the healing begin. Are you a believer in magic? Do you dream of restoration, of nostalgia, of lost youth?

      Purrsons Believe in Magic – We know cats are magical reasoners. Bravely, through our curiosity, daring and response to universal challenge, we put consistently ourselves in the way of harm, and harm is done to us. We believe in the magic of restoration through transformation. These scars, these wounds, these experiences make us smarter, harder, brighter and more beautiful.

      Understand the Meaning of Your Scars – These are life’s tattoos, which have ennobled you. It is your honor to embody the story of the multiverse with your blood and your bone. But the Purrson’s Brain & Heart combination brings us closest to the soul of God. The mystery of suffering is that it educates us into the greatest mystery of all – that God is willing to suffer with us because Love means holding each other through pain and infusing our strength into another’s sadness.

      Bow To Each Other – Show Respect –  We are each other’s masters, we are each other’s pupils, we are each other’s lovers, siblings and rescuers. Drinking ginger tea from translucent porcelain cups, we lift our cups to each other. We bathe together in steaming pools. I release you as you release me. When darkness falls, we touch one another’s hands before departing. If we can bear it, we brush bodies.

      Purrsons Recognize That We Cannot Diagnose Ourselves – We offer ourselves for the multiverse’s good and so it takes a universe to cure us. Healing and diagnosis alike will come from the welcome lips of another. It has been scientifically proven that even plants respond to kind words. We yearn for the laying on of hands, for the gentle rituals that usher & bless us as we pass from one stage of life to another.

      Purrson Challenge – Paradoxically, no “medicine” can succeed unless we “accept” our healing spiritually. We must feel “worthy” of restoration.  We must ask ourselves: what are we fighting for?  Think deeply. Remember the daring explorations of the boundary-defying Cat. We are not combative and self-punishing but are marking as clearly as we can that life is valuable in all its forms. If you are only as “young” as you feel, are we only as “healthy” as we allow ourselves to be? Forgive yourself. Accept change. Contrary to our fears, it is change that keeps us young.

      Purrson Danger – Healing cannot occur in an atmosphere of self-hatred and self-blame, and many of us are STILL “blaming” ourselves for twists of fate, for unlucky genetic, social and medical outcomes. “Fundamental attribution error” consists of blaming individuals for group effects. We are all caught up in the machinery of temporality. Never forget that we are souls who happen to have bodies, not bodies who happen to have souls.

      Purrson Opportunity – “Restoration” is such a glorious promise that early Christians found themselves ensnared in decades of argument about PHYSICAL resurrection. How would it work in cases of burning and dismemberment, exactly? It is easy to laugh at these painfully ridiculous theological conflicts.  One is reminded of St. Joan of Arc’s response to interrogators at her trial who asked if angels appeared to her naked – “Do you think God cannot afford to clothe angels?” Accept the power accorded to you by the multiverse. Accept the strength of your own mind, the control given by your chosen attitude. Healing is not just possible, it is a life-force in which we can all participate. Jesus came to us as a healer.

      Models & Mentors – “Healing yourself is connected with healing others”

      – Yoko Ono

      “What happens when people open their hearts?  They get better.”

      – Haruki Murakami

      Your body cannot heal without play. Your mind cannot heal without laughter. Your soul cannot heal without joy.” ~ Catherine Rippinger Fenwick

      “We are healed of suffering only if we experience it to the full – Marcel Proust

      “Maybe the dragons in our lives are princesses”

      – Rainer Maria Rilke

    • Purrsiflage – Today’s Zen for Your Inner Cat with Alysse Aallyn

      Feb 15

      Today You Push the Universe Away – you’re boiling inside. You’re so mad you can’t think straight. You had something and now it’s gone – now you have less. Value has been stolen from you by some trickster. The fact that you may have stolen it originally and you’re a thief too isn’t making you any happier. You were supposed to get this thing, you were in line for it, and now all bets are off.

      Broken Dreams – Make you feel less worthy, like the universe is laughing at you. Do you dream of plunder? Strong rooms? Treasure palaces? Security systems?

      If Property Is Theft, then We’re all Thieves – Don’t covet, says the Bible. Don’t envy. But we are born with a sense of loss we spend lifetimes trying to remedy. Something has been taken from us, but what? This “politics of grievance” has always waged a peculiar power, seemingly breeding the anger and revenge that come so naturally to the human genome.  “If something has been taken from me I will take something from you.” Yet our loss remains amorphous. We cling to the concept that we were “entitled” to something we no longer have. Philosophers and psychologists speculate; is it the mother’s womb? The family nest? What exactly is this lost paradise?

      Only Purrsons Are Truly Free – Purrsons own nothing. We are not interested in acquiring burdens but in freeing the human psyche of its pinions. To do that, we must first free ourselves.

      Don’t Chain Yourself to a Nightmare – There is much talk nowadays that “the American Dream” is no longer possible. Very relevant to our study of The Purrson’s Horoscope! Dreams & visions are our specialty!  But what was that “dream”, exactly? It was a mystical concept of “wholeness” – family, life, work, rewards – that always shifted according to who you are and from where you are looking.

      Once You are Part of a “Team” – even if just a team of two – the prospect can change dramatically. Is that a loss or a gain? Depends on what you see as value, and what as “hoarding”? We know if we eat more than our cells can burn we get fat, and that if we eat too much too fast we will choke. How can we slip psychically through this physically demanding life, light as a feather, bright as sunlight, strong as fire, without acquiring the very accretions – the barnacles – that slow us down, encumber and defeat us?

      By Becoming Purrsons, That’s How!  We no longer fill our tombs with the junk of real life for use in the Great Beyond, “terra cotta servants” who will “wake” to wait on us hand and foot. We satisfy ourselves with strictly “mental” pictures. Is the detachment of elder-hood a triumph of success or a long wail of departure?

      You Can’t Take It With You and You Don’t Want To – Not if you expect to fly! The “de-cluttering” movement did us all an enormous favor. Marie Kondo asked us to rid ourselves of every object that does not “spark joy”. That’s a high standard! We soon discover that daily life stirs up a lot of “necessary” detritus sparking joy in literally no one but it’s a hardship and a misery to live without. Probably the best way to free ourselves is to challenge the entitlement mystique with a philosophy of sharing.

      Purrson Danger – The whole principle of capitalism is to benefit from the work of others. It doesn’t take much imagination to see the grievances THAT can stir up. And yet “state” ownership churns up grievances of its own. Ownership itself is always fraught with exclusion, hostility, and danger. The nature of the Purrson is to “Be” rather than to “own”. Can we still enjoy the world if it doesn’t belong to us and we don’t belong to it? Purrsons say Yes!

      Purrson Challenge – Do we still possess objects when we are not physically present? Can we ever possess people? Do we WANT to take responsibility for another’s entire existence?  How do our dreams of freedom comport with our dreams of possession? Who – or what – is held captive? Purrsons deliberately loosen the bonds – mentally and spiritually – but this is a way of life that must be refreshed daily due to the temporal demands of our physical existence. That means Purrsons forgive ourselves daily.

      Being a Purrson Means Acknowledging That Wounds are a condition of our physical existence.  Purrsons come to terms with their wounds, evaluating them, celebrating them (often giving thanks for them), creating conceptual art projects about them and strategizing around them.

      Many Wounds come from happenstance, birth order, parental crises, national dilemmas, international catastrophes. We’re all pushed out of the nest before we’re ready.

      Models & Mentors –  “The more stuff I donated the more I was able to breathe, the more trash I threw away, the more weight I felt was lifted, the more I was able to see a new life, the more joy I found” – Zina Harrington

      “Clutter is postponed decisions” – Barbara Hemphill

      “Life is your masterpiece. Edit frequently and ruthlessly” – Nathan W. Morris

      “To the spoils belong the victor” – F. Scott Fitzgerald

      “Freedom is the oxygen of the soul” – Moshe Dayan

    • Purrsiflage – Today’s Zen for Your Inner Cat with Alysse Aallyn

      Feb 13

      Today the Universe Embraces You – You are getting closer. You are on the cusp of a major discovery that will explain much. Do you feel a tingling warmth in your core? Are you dreaming of books, reading, classes, school? Do you often feel you are on a pursuit and the prey is within view?

      Purrsons Seek the Light – We are all born in a condition of yearning. As children, we try desperately to understand the world we find ourselves in. The truth is we are all on a quest for enlightenment. We know there is a message out there for us, we know we have the capacity to understand it, but we think we are waiting for the lightning strike of “enlightenment” to put it all together and develop a unique, informed, sustained perspective.

      The Truth Is Simple – Jesus said we need to become children again to enter the kingdom of heaven. This certainly implies that “enlightenment” is more a state of mind than any received wisdom. Dawn is Purrson Horoscope’s symbol of the mystical understanding and lightning universal comprehension we call “enlightenment.” It’s light spreads naturally, warming even the rockiest, most inhospitable terrain.

      Purrson Challenge – Enlightenment literature recommend two things: a good teacher and time alone. Every night when we go to sleep we enter the alone-time of our own mind. We can prep ourselves in advance with some “good teaching”;  Socrates, Plato, Montaigne, Eckhart Tolle, Pema Chodron, Deepak Chopra, Stephen Batchelor, the Dalai Lama – savor these models until you get a sense which one speaks especially to you. Then set aside twenty-minutes or a half an hour for reading (or listening) right before sleep.

      Purrson Danger – Zen teachers say that if anyone represents themselves as a Zen teacher cannot be. Gnostic gospels say prophets asking for money are false prophets. Search for a guru can be fraught with landmines. This is why I mention specific names of teachers available at any library who will not be trying to gain any ascendance or dominance over you personally.

      Be Wary of Giving Your Spirit into Another’s Care. If they have demanded submission they are preparing to be cruel. The sin against the Holy Ghost is the only sin that cannot be forgiven, and it is the sin of running roughshod over our spiritual receptors and mangling their open capacity. Once trust and faith are destroyed, it is difficult to “become a child again” because of the terrible things we have known and seen.

      Purrson Opportunity – Broken places let in the light and healing is always available. Even when scarred by false prophets we feel there is a magic of universal love and resilience available to us. A variety of healing ceremonials – my favorite is the “miracle bath” and the “laying on of hands” –  will reconnect you to the possibilities of joy, love and the insight leading to enlightenment.

      Models & Mentors -. “Knowing others is wisdom, knowing yourself is enlightenment.” – Lao Tzu

      “Enlightenment is your felt state of Oneness with Being” – Eckhart Tolle

      “The road to enlightenment is long and difficult and you should not forget snacks and magazines” – Anne LaMott

      “Suffering is temporary, enlightenment is forever” – Buddha

      “Enlightenment does not come from the mind, it comes from just being. You are already enlightened. You have to realize it to allow it into your experience”-

      Anita Moorjani

    • Purrsiflage – Your Daily Cat Zen with Alysse Aallyn

      Feb 10

      The Universe Wants You to Know You’ve Been Looking at This Wrong – Maybe it’s time to upgrade your concept of success. 

      Do you dream of adulation? Applause?  You need to remember that it’s the journey, not the arrival that matters, because it’s all we have.  The successful life is one long journey. The tired and footsore Purrson needs heartwarming visions to sustain joy for the voyage.

      Success Is a Worse Hazard for Purrsons Than Failure – Battle-hardened Purrsons threaten to collapse on reaching Road’s End.  Success requires us to see ourselves through others’ imagined eyes (and their specious and self-serving statements) – thus risking loss of self and a derailment of energy.  Future plans will be torpedoed in pursuit of the momentary fix of another’s apparent approbation. Isn’t the very idea of “success” something of a mirage?

      Success Is How You Define It – Abraham Lincoln famously said people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be. If we define “success” as adulation and approval by others, haven’t we given away the ultimate power over our lives? Many people define success in material ways – it’s the only way to explain the salaries CEO’s pay themselves, while they freely admit nobody “needs” that much money. (They don’t seem to be using it very responsibly either, so I would judge them as “unsuccessful.”) If the most important standards are your own personal ones then the only person to please is yourself and those you love.  Let’s rephrase the challenge:  are you content?

      Purrson Challenge – When success is “arrival”, a “finish line” is implied. Do you really want to be finished? As we desire constant progress, then reaching a goal is death. But the opposite  – endless striving – is just  a treadmill. A “rat race”, in point of fact. So, the ultimate success must be “contentment with the journey”. To be content we assess our lives and come to terms with our missteps.  Many times we discovered something even more wonderful that we didn’t even know we were searching for.

      Purrson Danger – Success is a drug: so be careful. Don’t get addicted. Our society views everything as a competition, and the fundamental danger is you comparing your INSIDES (i.e., how you feel) with everyone else’s “outsides” (i.e., how they LOOK.) You can see that’s nonsensical.  We don’t visualize each other’s sadness, emptiness and pain, only display, swagger and showmanship.

      Purrson Opportunity – is to feel compassion for another’s hurt and struggle. Feel compassion (and forgiveness) for your own hurt and struggle. Assess your place on life’s path. Maybe you’re still on the edge of some great discovery, if so, keep going! Maybe it’s time to take stock of how far you’ve come and have a look at the big map. I like resting, thinking, reading and writing.  Retired, I do exactly what I want to most days, surrounded by love. Feels like success to me.

      Models & Mentors – “without continual growth & progress, such words as improvement, achievement and success have no meaning” – Benjamin Franklin

      “Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can” – Arthur Ashe

      “There is always light – if we’re brave enough to see it, we’re brave enough to be it “ – Amanda Gorman

      “Rules for success: 1. Believe in your ideas 2. Pick good people  3. Earn Respect 4. Always be a student 5. Enjoy what you do 6. Ask for advice 7. Learn to say No 8. Create the best products 9. Don’t take things personally 10. Create the future”

      – Bill Gates

    • Purrsiflage – Today’s Zen for Your Inner Kitty with Alysse Aallyn

      Feb 9

      The Universe is Alarming –  You awake trembling. Are you helpless in your dreams? Do you dream of children, of your own childhood? In Purrson Wheel of Life, flowers represent the soft evanescence of youth when the merest thumbprint of emphasis can leave eternal impressions. As the emblem of beauty, the Rose warns us that this quivering, temporary impermanence may be the very definition of eternal loveliness.

      Purrsons Remain Vulnerable – We are creatures, and we have no desire to divest ourselves of our animality. As Purrsons we defend youth, beauty, humanity, evanescence.

      We Remember Where We Came From – You well recollect how you were molded. Is it a pleasant nostalgic vision or a horror story? Do you resent all the other actors in this drama? Remember, resentment is a poison we consume – we are the only ones it harms. Value Your Training – good and bad – as you value your humanity.

      Roses Have Thorns – Celebrate Yours – Everyone sees the thorn-stripped rose the florist sells, forgetting that roses were born with protections, just like the rest of us. Contemplate yours.

      Purrsons Have Many Protections – Our Training, Our Mental Agility, Our Commitments – but most especially our worldview. Others may surrender and fade away, but we have confidence that, like the stars, we are designed for lasting beauty.  It is the essence of life to struggle, to mentally picture the goal and to design and redesign a gorgeous, life-changing map for all who follow.

      Purrson Challenge – Can we turn the building blocks of our own past into a constructive, hopeful framework for the future? Can you mentally accept and explore the power of a hardening maturity?

      Purrsons Preserve & Build  – We do not destroy. The philosophy of “annihilation” is a psychic snare.  It is true that terrible things happen to ordinary people and they are changed forever.  We may wish those things hadn’t happened but overwhelming regret prevents us from focusing on reality. We need to understand the world we’re in and map it for those who follow after. History and literature explore the coping mechanisms around disaster and the strong people it produces.

      Purrson Opportunity – Resilience is the art we cultivate.  We soon realize resilience has its own beauty; the rose may be pruned or even cut down but the plant is hardly dead, in fact it generously offers an outpouring of consistent blossoms. That is true beauty.

      Models & Mentors –  “Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity”

      – Brene Brown

      “Being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure”

      – Bob Marley

      “Sometimes you have to drop your guard so your heart can breathe” – Emma Xu

      “The strongest love is the love that can demonstrate its fragility” – Paulo Coelho

    • Purrsiflage – Daily Cat Zen for Your Inner Kitty with Alysse Aallyn

      Feb 8

      The Universe Sounds the Alarm – Time to pay attention to your physical well-being. This doesn’t necessitate a doctor visit, but it could mean you know perfectly well you’re doing something to threaten your health and it’s time to quit that.  Whatever it is.

      But Sometimes a Doctor Visit is Mandated – Do you dream of hospitals? Doctors? Shamen? Magic pills? One of society’s proudest boasts is our seemingly mysterious ability to cure illness, or at least palliate its effects. Your dreams say you yearn for healing, and something in you recognizes you need help.

      Do You Trust Your Doctor? Maybe it’s spiritual healing that’s required. Try a naturopath, acupuncture, massage therapy – you are searching for that instinctively helpful healer. Revisit all our advice on managing gurus (See WISDOM) – they must not be greedy and must meaningfully demonstrate they have your best interests at heart. You should not become their sex toy or support them in an extravagant lifestyle. Seek references from friends. Anyone attempting to isolate you and wall you off from information is not your friend.

      The Purrson Path Is Exhausting.  Anyone daring enough to redirect entropy suffers wear and tear. We need constant support. No shame – it’s part of the calling. Our hearts are involved, and they can race too much.

      What Makes a Purrson’s Heart Race? – Anyone developing their own personal lifemap is going to get lost frequently. It’s a wilderness out there. How can we find the right path?  How can we develop the confidence to choose the “right diagnosis” for what ails us? When should we request a “second” or “third” opinion?  How can we stay on the “right” course, or even assess the “rightness” of any course, considering all our past mistakes?

      Purrsons Need “Heart Strengthening.” Listen to your heart. Get out your Training Journal and start making notes. What questions do we wish to ask? Who do we want to be? Where are we trying to go?

      Purrson Danger – Can we tell the difference between a “fortifying” or a “harming” path? TV pharmaceutical ads list grisly side effects for pills tackling the vaguest malaise. Who can overlook these threats? Perhaps the ultimate “danger” lies in ignoring the warnings our “dis-ease” gives. What does “I want to be young again” really mean? We are all mortal. We have just so much time left to plan. To “become”.

      Purrson Opportunity – Some people are more confident following an “experts recommend” course, others adapt and customize as they go. Joy is the moment when planets and moments all click into alignment and we feel we accepted as a beloved child of the universe. Let’s unclog our ears, remove the plank from our vision and simplify our world to recapture the moments of joy experienced in childhood. If a loving, guiding force rescued us over and over again, we can summon the confidence to find several human healers to guide us through the healthcare system.

      Models & Mentors –  “Hugging is good medicine”

      – Karen Salmansohn

      “Medicine is the art of amusing the patient while nature cures the disease” – Voltaire

      “Medicines cure diseases, but only doctors can cure patients” – C.J. Jung

      “Medicine cures doubt as well as disease” – Karl Marx

      “The arts are as essential to everyone’s lives as clean food and fresh air”

      – Renee Phillips

    • Purrsiflage – Today’s Zen for Your Inner Kitty with Alysse Aallyn

      Feb 7

      The Stars Agree – You are suffering from an entanglement. An ensnarement in which you are sadly complicit. You don’t think you can escape, so you don’t try. You are afraid that the benefits of your slavery outweigh the joy of freedom. But the imprisonment you do so much to conceal is slowly strangling you – to death.

      Do you fear abandonment?  Have you always been afraid of being alone? In ou Purrson Universal Horoscope, the Clinging Vine archetype reminds us of all of the unpleasant aspects of needing others’ constant support to function.  A clinging vine can’t stand up by itself, it needs an immoveable shoulder to fasten upon. Whose power are you increasing while yours wilts away?

      Americans cultivate the fantasy of independence and self-determination. It’s just too threatening to imagine what might happen if the wall we’ve been covertly clinging to, suddenly comes down.

      Purrsons Require Freedom of Action – We must be dependent on society for basic functions. At what point does mutual dependency become constrictive? What is your supposedly stalwart support dependent upon?  Why have you become locked into a position of support for someone else?

      Who Benefits? Is the cry of the detective when solving a crime – and trust the Universe – your imprisonment is a crime. Look around you. Who’s fat and happy and smiling all the time? Who’s lecturing others about how to knuckle under, a thing they themselves would never do?

      Purrsons Must Define Freedom in Their Relationships – Your freedom requires that you learn to recognize and resist parasitic and exploitive relationships where the benefits are unbalanced. 

      Get Smart. No need to over-react now with rage, humiliation and personal offense. Start drawing boundaries. Look behind your wall to see what supports it and to view the wide, wide world outside. Teaching any clinging vine to stand up for itself is doing it a favor.

      No One Stands Alone – The truth is, we’re all in this together. Billionaires, leaders, CEO’s, all actually need much more support than we ordinary beings fending for ourselves. But they always insist on maintaining their freedom of action – for good reason. 

      Don’t make destructive deals involving your future. Purrsons need to Become Immortal so their futures are always a poignant mystery.  We are responsive to the fluttering of butterfly wings as well as the shifting of tectonic plates. Divest yourself of pointless, (usually “inherited”) shame (from the collective unconscious) and simply acknowledge the obvious truth that humans are, for good and ill, social creatures.

      Life Is a Negotiation – Make an experiment of listing your dependencies – bank, mail system, social security? Vehicle, gas availability, fuel affordability? Grocery stores, restaurants, our own two ambulatory feet? Weather, peace, law enforcement?

      Recognize the Fragility of These Systems. Confronting fear creates some ruthlessness but Purrsons will never check their brains at the door. We are strategic, planning, evolving. Our maps will always need an update and a redesign.

      Purrson Challenge – Are we hanging ourselves in loops of dependency? How can we free ourselves? What could we do to claim more psychic and physical independence? While Mormons may require a “year’s worth” of canned goods in the basement, the rest of us recognize the need for an emergency savings account. We are beginning to understand how a threatened supply chain can snap. Begin imagining some future failure scenarios and hash out the possibilities; if the elevator fails, is it possible to take the stairs? Your dream life will reward you with a lessening of existential anxiety.

      Models & Mentors –  “Don’t set yourself on fire to keep other people warm” – Alysse Aallyn

      “Fear is the memory of pain. Addiction is the memory of pleasure. Freedom is beyond both.” – Anonymous

      “Don’t work harder on someone else’s problems than they do” – Ross Rosenberg

      “Enjoy togetherness but allow space. Respect differing beliefs. Accept, don’t try to change each other. Appreciate the other, but always be prepared to survive alone” – Darlene Lancer