Category: Creativity

  • Embattled Love: the diaries of Alysse Aallyn

    Fri Oct 12 – 79


    Glorious day. On p 140 of book, 60 to go, 4 days to do them in. The hopelessness of this made me decide to give myself a 3 day vacation – read Rae Foley’s Put Out the Light – so awful I felt actually better. (3rd dud.) I can’t be as bad as I fear! Rush of poetry. Wrote poem about Sylvia Plath – don’t know if I like it yet. Saw Cage aux Folles. Unfeeling card from Genevieve but my annoyance vanishes when I realize she is copying Mom’s icy superiority. Less and less reason to write back honestly. Letter to Devon. T. and I had a long lovely dinner discussing love. I suggest we live on a farm and raise goats.

    Sun. 14 Oct 1979
    Toss seems entirely to understand my confusing depression: just found this note on the bed when I came up: “PAY TO THE ORDER OF ALYSSE AALLYN A WHOLE LOTTA LOVING, KISSING & HUGGING, AVALANCHE OF AFFECTION REDEEMED WHENEVER SHE FEELS INSECURE”. He’s downstairs right now with Jan.


    I don’t know what it is about my family that lays me so low. Unfortunately, this ugly pointless pattern continues into my artistic life. Set up one framework after another, only to lose faith and discard them. Dreamed last night about boyfriend Phil Jervaze of all people – that I was trying to get his phone no.

    Wed 17 Oct 79 7:50 PM
    Somewhat depressed over Bride & Wolves which I “finished”. Prose sluggish and dullsville. I blame Shirley Jackson. She’s too good.

    T & I drink glass of sherry with lemon peel to “celebrate”. Now all the things I didn’t have to think about I have to think about. UGH. Housework & money. Send copy of Devlyn to Lavallee, (agent) try for serial contract. The trouble is they want to hire you to write books you don’t want to write and the more you want to write it the less they want to pay.


    Took Speechless away from Toss. Hard to see it sitting on the floor, day after day. In a month, he’s read only 50 p. Told him he can’t read it anymore. It will be a long time before we can deal with each other fully, but that’s the way life is. Last night felt like the best so far. We had a guest, John Weber, Reed College student to whom Toss was legend. Fun to hear Toss talk about Reed – I was spellbound. Fell in love with him all over again. Made love from 1:30 PM to 3 – I can always make him come twice.

    Fri. 19 Oct 79 – 11:30 AM
    Halfway through re-reading Bride, haven’t thrown up yet. Ravings of a madwoman? Seems determined & plain. Early Dorothy Eden. Too slight? We’ll see. Exhausted. Utterly drained. Can’t imagine writing anything ever again. Worry about money and how alien this town feels. If we were married, would I mind so much being supported? No sex for 2 days – feels like a connection severed.
    5:10 PM
    Reading the novel with a critical eye. Feeling almost suicidal. Seems so bland. Blah. Who the hell cares? I imagine Lavallee calling it “tired.” Could I survive her criticism? Maybe she’ll give helpful direction. Storm coming. In a moment take dogs in, feed them. Read Jackson’s Bird’s Nest.

    Mon 22 Oct 79
    All day Saturday spent at Keeneland. The men were watching the horses, I was watching the politics between 3 law students. Home I went back to reading diaries with a view to making a book – too awful. T’s gay friend Basil to dinner – he just wouldn’t leave – he doesn’t like our new relationship either. I got too drunk. Toss wrote Mom & Dad a lovely letter today about how he’s going to “take care” of me. Happiness. Toss studying at law library.

    Tues. 23 Oct 79 7:45 PM
    Had to call the police on youths loitering by my car in our driveway. Outdoor lights didn’t discourage them. Trying to see what tape deck I have. Couldn’t take my walk. No way of getting out of 7 more months here. Kids moved on thank God.


    Cheering myself up with Zegger’s May Sinclair. More relieving than reading about poor Shirley Jackson. May rejected the system that gripped her. I feel like I interrupted my career (such as it was) to clean T’s house. I was a Disgraced Exotic Dancer probably getting too old anyway. Horrible. Think I have flu or something.

    Thurs 25 Oct 79
    Still feeling sick but just finished Honor Arundel’s Blanket Word and feel tremendous! Maybe I should write adolescent novels. Studying Awful Men in E. Bowen’s & R. Lehmann’s work. I prefer Monica Dickens who at least can handle resolution.

    Thurs 1 Nov 79
    I have been lucky to attract much love in my life. Genevieve met Danni Wisefield 5 years ago who asked, Are you related to Alysse Aallyn? Remembered me perfectly with so much love! Undeserved. Wonder if she ever went to that Swiss convent her parents threatened her with.
    Avril met Preston Pugh in an art gallery – he came up to her and reminisced lovingly about ME! Devon saw Avril dancing in a Concord, NH club and asked, “Are you related to Alysse Aallyn?”

    Mon 5 Nov 79 5:30 PM
    In the grips of a depression I can’t get out of. Cruel & disturbing, Toss left to go study, so I can’t bother him. Frightens me. Should go to library and take out pile of books. Some of the strength you need to be a writer is sheer stupidity. Doesn’t do to be too sensitive. I am happy with Toss but we do have communication problems. Don’t want drama with Families of Origin to traumatize our communication style.

    Toss asked me to make curtains for the entire house. I didn’t want to. Finally, when I announced I was ready, he suggested batiste half-panels I thought would look dumb. Not real curtains at all! We looked and looked at fabric, couldn’t agree on anything. He kept dragging out the batiste panels. Long ones aren’t so bad but I feel corralled. They come ready made, he needs my approval why? Just wants me to fulfill his vision? I couldn’t explain my anger. Why pretend you’re equal when only one has veto power?

    Keep trying like a fiend to gather dignity but everything seems to work me deeper in his debt. He offered a checking acct today! I explained he will have to put money in it. One of my financial gambits better work out.

    11:45 AM 16 Nov 79
    When to diarize? Mornings are for work, evenings I’m exhausted, nights for lovemaking. Merrill called to say she’s pregnant! Fun if our kids could be the same age. I bought wonderful African-patterned sheets on sale, sewed on rings (2 hrs needlework listening to Purcell’s Fairy Queen). They look FABULOUS and really dress the place up but T worries they’re “not good taste.” Who’s he trying to please? His mother and father have imaginative décor in their homes. (His Dad’s a fauvist painter!!!) It’s just so weird.


    Speechless should be done by Feb – submit Harper Awards? Feel completely inert. July/Aug wedding?

  • Embattled Love: The Diaries of Alysse Aallyn

    Tues. 11 Sept 79 –
    Every day catalogue.
    Jan & Mary Ellen to dinner – she has black eye but otherwise seems no different. Does not disparage new house where they still plan to live.


    Mom sends separate letters to me & T. I feel she is on “his side” not mine. She thinks “living together” is at the heart of all our problems (secretly, she probably thinks it’s my “exhibitionism”. Me, the shy introvert!)


    Reading Self-Starvation about how children make enemies of their own bodies in reaction to growing up. Tremble with recognition. Mom said things in her letter she could only know from what I wrote to my older sister Genevieve. That outlet stopped. Feeling a rush of mature personal power – I’m moving beyond them.


    New novel Speechless is a bloody struggle. Writing about things too close to me. Wrote my first seriously bad scene – the adults all together.


    3:50 PM – too upset after letter from Genevieve to write. She has been robbed of her honest feelings – she is just pumping up and down on the merry go round. They obviously think T will get sick of me soon but can’t decide if that is good or bad. My insistence on having a “real relationship” means I’ll never have one! Silly me. Need to do housework – or something – till I feel better. Shouldn’t try to write when feeling so despondent.

    Midnight – Bath & Facial. Toss beautifully aroused – we made love TWICE. He says I am only girl he ever wanted to marry. Feel even our most terrible problems are being slowly overcome. Routine & diet coming under control. Dream of the Rood unsuccessful book.

    12 Sept 79 – Magnificent day only half over. Charting novel – seems “completeable.” Starting research for short story Demon. No bad mail – no guilt about housecleaning – send off Walt Whitman entry. Sylvia Plath provides poetic incentive – I can’t put her down.

    14 Sept 79 – Woke 4 am to tremendous whoosh – hackberry tree coming in window spreading shimmering shivering glass across floor. Went downstairs – more broken windows – tree leaning against house. Seemed to come out of nowhere. Put on coffee and called Toss at the newspaper where he works part-time.


    He came home looking so handsome in wheat jeans & fishermen’s sweater bringing a photographer from the newspaper to take pics. Started calling people at 8 am. Insurance doesn’t want to pay so he called his insurance law professor.


    Trying to read Robt Penn Warren – finished me for novels. The whole thing, after many premature burials, killed stone dead p. 300. Even there it didn’t stop. Can’t blame him for publishing it. It’s the publishers fault. If this was a woman’s novel they would flatten it. Never see the light of day. Retreat to Woolf’s diary where I plan to be for rest of week. Reading my diaries emotionally draining but inspiring. I’m up to 3 pages on The Repudiated Journals of Yuna Roe-Smith which is a lot of fun. The whole Ryder saga, though, is beyond depressing.


    I had forgotten Mom wanted me to marry Armon and cried over his mother’s mean phone calls! Horrible Armon! What ashram would I be suffering in now? O, for a trustworthy literary executor instead of more family myth victims.


    T. and I discuss travel – Portugal, Ireland and the literary tour of Eng. He prepares frightening presentation for Justice Goldberg. We will celebrate with Graves couple to dinner – turkey? My piece de resistance of hot, garlicky potato salad.

    Sat 15 Sept 79 –
    Insurance will pay. Celebrate one of our many anniversaries with muffins for breakfast. Nice cool fall day – I can wear a sweater! T says after Goldberg he will set up his new study and his old study becomes our dressing room. Good, I need closet space. Type 10 p without a break – T at library – do my exercises – hand laundry. Novel going uncommonly well except for constant awareness of what I cannot do. Tonight spaghetti & green salad. Didn’t realize I was clenching my jaw as I wrote. Sore.

    Sun 16 Sept 79 – T hands me his mother’s legal file – tells me I can read it! Found exactly what I need to portray Alva. She told her kids she was allergic to their father’s sperm!! Ask if I can incorporate T’s letter to his father about StormFall into Speechless.


    Can’t read African diaries. Forgot I threatened to kill myself. Needed child psychologist in a major way. Parents were always staggering around blindfolded. No map ever suits the new terrain.

    17 Sept 79
    Finished Part I, on to Part II. Looked everywhere for Generation of Millionaires – can’t find it. Rats. I was sure I could use almost all of it.


    Letter from oldest sister Merrill tells me I have to separate from M & D for my own emotional mental health. Can I do it AFTER wedding? Reading Women in Love. Think its wasted on me.

    18 Sept 79
    Up to p 145 but feel I am just beginning. I need to write another gothic – it would be easier. Dumped D.H. Lawrence’s Women In Love in favor of Hahn’s Lorenzo which I can actually enjoy.
    Useless trying to clean our room – T has nowhere to hang his clothes! We must construct a closet out of pass-through bedroom. This is a crazy place – longing for my own house. Yesterday such a magnificent dinner – chicken stew, wine, liqueur, pears, nuts & brie – we decided to skip dinner tonight. I love him so much but still feel like a wayfarer unrevealed. Sometime I wonder if 29 is too old to fall in love. M & D called – good conversation. To bed with History of Modern Poetry.

  • The Pinch of Death – a mystery by Alysse Aallyn

    Chapter 35. Ricey

    A green Corvette parked a few slots down pulled out behind her but Jacquetta couldn’t see who was driving. Roxelle Shields – or her manager – drove a green Corvette. Coincidence? There were a lot of green Corvettes in the world. Speaking of coincidence, Rose-Alice Ramey could not POSSIBLY have the same name as the St. Barnabas churchyard baby. When a monster was close and about to surface, otherwise innocent ripples had one meaning and one meaning only.


    The apartment smelled horrible. Some kind of chemical smell suppressed the stench of spoiled food and an even nastier odor that could only be Death. Maybe I don’t want the clothes, thought Jacquetta. I’ve cleared out most of my stuff anyway. Make my phone call and get out.


    But as she entered the living room she was brought up short by the sight of Rose-Alice Ramey, aka Ricey Kleinemann, sitting in the rocking chair waiting for her.


    Caught by surprise Jacquetta knew she showed fear. She could tell that by the flicker of satisfaction on the other’s face. Damn! Now Ricey had the upper hand. How to win it back?


    ‘Who let you in?” She forced herself to advance far enough into the room so that she could sit on the sofa. Above all, she didn’t want Ricey standing up.


    “Your roommate gave me her key.” Ricey played with a lock of her own hair.


    “As well as her life,” said Jacquetta.


    “I needed to know what you knew,” said Ricey. “She was the weak link. If I wrapped a dishtowel around her neck and twisted it with a stick –“ She made a snapping motion with her hands. “But she wouldn’t tell me. She died too soon.” The murderer sound almost regretful. “I couldn’t bring her back.”


    Jacquetta was grateful for the apartment’s semi-gloom. Easier to conceal the blood boiling up her throat and into her face.


    “Why send those letters? You were safe until then.”


    “No one’s safe,” spat Ricey. “That’s why I sent them! People thinking they’re so safe!”


    “Who shared the Brooklyn apartment?” asked Jacquetta.


    “Oh, everyone.” Ricey shrugged. “No one. A girl’s got to live. You know what they pay nanny-girls? Next to nothing!”


    “So you preferred blackmail,” suggested Jacquetta. “But that didn’t work out either, did it?”


    “I preferred murder,” said Ricey, leaning forward. “I like finding the edge. I would have snapped that old woman’s neck if I could have gotten away with it. Pills in the milk. It’s so unsatisfying.” She laughed in a low, reminiscent chuckle, “Turns out I like shooting people and setting them on fire.”


    “You were smart to use so many different murder methods,” said Jacquetta, frantically thinking out her next move. The other girl’s cynical smile told her flattery wouldn’t work, so she desperately threw out her next idea. “What a pity you sabotaged your own work by wanting to be caught!”


    Wow! That got her! A little too much so – Ricey jumped to her feet while the rocking chair trembled.


    “I’m not going to be caught!” she snapped. “I’m never going back to prison. I can be anyone! I can go anywhere!”


    “Why tell me about the “commune” in upstate New York?” challenged Jacquetta. “You meant prison, didn’t you? You should have been worried, giving me so many clues!”


    The apartment door opened behind them and Ricey’s face changed. She seemed to back up, scared. Jacquetta twisted her head but was astonished by her rescuer – Roxelle. Carrying a gun.
    “I should have killed you when I had the chance,” said Roxelle. “For what you did to Granny. I brought you into this world and I can take you out.”


    The first shot went wild. Ricey ducked but her mother advanced on her, shooting, emptying the gun. The noise was deafening and the smell pungent. Jacquetta backed toward the kitchen and called 911.


    She dropped the phone when Roxelle appeared in the kitchen doorway.
    “She’s dead now,” she said. “Thank you.” And she was gone.


    Ricey was not dead. Jacquetta tried futilely to block the gushing blood with the spilled contents of Honey’s ironing basket, but there was too much. To the music of sirens the monster’s eyes refocused, unfocused, falling back in time to childhood, infancy, and ultimately to non-existence, to the time before all will and all suffering and the senseless destruction they perpetuate.

  • The Pinch of Death – a mystery by Alysse Aallyn

    Chapter 34. A Stone Angel

    The door of Jacquetta’s own church, St Barnabas, was locked. This had never happened before. The sign said “mold treatment.” Jacquetta walked around the path to the churchyard and sat on a stone bench in the sunshine, watching the sexton clear graves. Some of the grass had been getting pretty tall!


    It was soothing having nothing to do, refusing to think. She tried praying but her mind kept drifting away. Shaming to have to tell Mother Xavier she was right; “I don’t want to be a nun. Turns out what I wanted all along was to be a snoop.”


    Being a snoop was endlessly absorbing, like trying to make sense of a forgotten language. Working as an actual detective would not be so much fun, she could tell. For one thing, you could end up shot or burnt. She didn’t envy Benson his gun, his license, or his death.


    There ought to be some kind of in-between career, Jacquetta thought. Maybe I can invent something. A helper constrained not by a client’s demands but by some higher purpose. “Will Snoop For Bread.” She recalled how delighted Honey had been raking through Miss Rainbeaux’s possessions. The “cleaned up” version offered to the public at the Open House, Jacquetta hadn’t found nearly so satisfying. “Sister Jacquetta Sorts Your Departed’s Junk.” There it was: a possible business. “A Sister In Need. I do what Relatives Don’t Have Time or Are Too Emotional or Disgusted to Do.”


    She smiled as she thought of the business card. It would actually be fun. She could make antique store versus dumpster recommendations without a hidden agenda. “A Sister You Can Trust.” Maybe that was a bit snide!


    The sexton finished. He climbed into his cart and tootled away, so Jacquetta stood up to admire his handiwork. There was one place he had missed.


    An obelisk dedicated to a 1930’s patriarch and his two – no three wives. A gaggle of children surrounding a stone angel. The smallest stones looked like footstones but, moving the grass with her foot, Jacquetta saw they bore engraving. Babies. “Bequeathed Only for A Moment.” “An Angel Passed Among Us.”


    And then she saw it. “Rose-Alice Ramey. August 31, 1962.”


    There it was. This is what Beatrix Rainbeaux had seen, this is what started the whole disaster. Hadn’t she told Jacquetta in their only conversation, “I was just at your church recently?”


    And she must have wondered about Avalon’s au pair; how she could be from “out of town” and yet have the same name as an infant buried in the St. Barnabas churchyard? And now Beatrix Rainbeaux was dead. Rose-Alice Ramey was the exact right age to be Ricey Kleinemann.
    Why had Jacquetta been so stupidly slow about recognizing this fact? Because she was rubbish as a detective, that’s why. Was it also because she liked Rose-Alice? Rose-Alice and she were outsiders together, two of a kind. But the “con” in “con-artist” comes from a criminal gaining trust – gaining undeserved confidence.


    Sociopaths were said to be charming. Jacquetta had identified with this hard-working young woman obliged to keep her opinions of her ridiculous employers to herself. Like everyone else, she was yearning for beauty, longing to travel. Jacquetta wanted the murderer to be one of the morally compromised Rainbeaux clan or someone from their cadre of sycophants. But Rose-Alice – she would have to think of her as Ricey now – had snuffed out the life of Honey, a fresh young girl – a striver, a dreamer just like herself – without a second thought.


    This monster wore a pretty face. Jacquetta decided the letters were older, probably unconnected with the murders. Ricey flexing her claws. Unable to contain her rage, her hostility, her secret violence, and she tried to siphon it off as harmlessly as she could. But when she gave in to love with her employer’s husband, her secret had been exposed. And who was Jacquetta to judge her for that? She saw George Cleese every day, he had plenty of time to work on her, as Nelson had “worked” Jacquetta.


    It was humiliating and enraging and it all made perfect sense. It explained why Miss Rainbeaux hesitated, why the real estate agent was charmed, why the detective relaxed, why Honey let her in.
    Jacquetta rushed back to her car. She needed a phone. She need to tell Lt. Marie the whole thing, because Ricey was clearly spinning out of control. She had nothing left to lose.


    Jacquetta regretted letting Nelson go: he had a car phone! She couldn’t think of a payphone closer than her apartment – she’d been planning to return anyway. She could think of no reason why the phone wouldn’t work. She didn’t dare wait even returning to the motel before she shared the secret. Ricey was too dangerous. She steeled herself. Grab some clothes and make that call.

  • The Pinch of Death – a mystery by Alysse Aallyn

    Chapter 33. Wildwood

    “How about a foot-long chili dog?” Nelson facetiously suggested.


    “Absolutely not,” Jacquetta returned, “I need a drink.”


    “I know just the place.”


    At this hour, Me Ole Matey was empty, but it was so dark you couldn’t tell what time it was. “Seat Yourself” said the sign, so they fought their way through fishing impedimenta to a corner booth.
    “Is white wine and kir still your favorite drink?” Nelson asked, signaling for the lone waitress.
    Jacquetta had no desire to recall any of those nights.


    “No,” she said. ”Just a glass of house red.”


    Nelson surprised her by ordering the whole bottle and a slew of appetizers. “The potato skins here are famous,” he said.


    Suddenly it was a date.


    “So,” Jacquetta hazarded, “Roxelle Shields’ baby girl? Any ideas? We have to have found the right family or she wouldn’t be acting this way.”


    “Definitely. Ricey Kleinemann’s Roxelle Shield’s daughter,” he concurred. Jacquetta shuddered. “Means that horrible old woman was Roxelle’s mama. Something went pretty wrong somewhere. Twelve years old is scary young to have a baby. We didn’t even get to mention D.L. LeRoi.”


    “I believe her that she doesn’t know where her daughter is,” Nelson said. “Don’t you?”


    “I guess so. Seems like we caught her completely by surprise. What do you think is the next move?”


    “I have to pray about it.”


    That silenced him. When they returned to the car in an hour, feeling much better, there was a message on the car phone from Lt Marie.


    “He says you can go back to your apartment. Also, your car is being released. Which do you want first?”


    “Thank God,” said Jacquetta, thinking, I need to pick up some clothes. She also wanted to find out if the killer got the datebook. “Car first.”


    “Going back to the motel?” he gave her a sidelong look.


    “Probably.”


    “Need me?”


    She faced him. “Not till you’re a free man. Consider your bereavement period over.”


    He sighed gustily. “And Sister Jacquetta is back.”


    She returned, “You’re welcome.”

  • The Pinch of Death – a mystery by Alysse Aallyn

    Chapter 32. A Brass Ass

    As scrub pine gave way to hot dog stands Jacquetta wondered if she should try to talk about last night. It didn’t change anything, and in the morning she had been grateful he didn’t mention it. But now she worried: wouldn’t he think it DID change things? Should she say something and if so, what?


    But everything was so up in the air. Part of me was killed with Honey, Jacquetta realized. Funny that she’d never realized they were Siamese twins; mentally and physically connected. Was that true of every relationship? The force of what Nelson had said about bereavement hit her with double power. He said he’d “lost everything.” If so: what was left for her? And how to find out? She wished she’d had the emotional strength to reject his proffered body, but she never had, and she knew perfectly well that was why she had left her job.


    Could Nelson be right that she’d contemplated the monastic life just to hide from men and their dangerous allure? She knew what Mother Xavier would say about it; only one way to find out. Ask God.


    “Desperado,” Nelson was counting the bars. “Cotton Candy. Brass Ass. There it is.”


    At this hour the neon sign depicting the backside of a naked woman aboard a kicking mule wasn’t lit, but the marquee said “Miss Roxelle Shields Appearing Nitely.” From the plethora of parking spaces Nelson chose the one nearest the door. The green vinyl padded door wasn’t locked but the bar was dark.


    A bartender was setting up beneath a single spot. He barely looked at them.
    “We’re closed.”


    “We’re here to interview Miss Shields?” Nelson sounded tentative even to Jacquetta’s ears.


    Barman couldn’t have cared less. “Around back.”


    Nelson unlocked the car and opened the door.


    “You’re using the car to go around back?” Jacquetta questioned.


    “Who knows how safe it is back there?” Nelson shrugged.


    Wow thought Jacquetta. I never would have thought of that. I need this guy.


    “Around back” was a dumpster and a green Corvette. It didn’t appear unsafe.


    There was a locked door labeled “Authorized Personnel Only” and “It is a State Crime to block or prop this exit.” Nelson hammered on the battered metal with his fist.


    A man wearing a three piece suit a size too small stuck out his balding head. Nelson, who’d had an opportunity to get his story together, flashed his press card.


    “We’re here to interview Miss Shields.”


    The man took the card and held the door open. The woman behind him was short but her high-heeled boots made up for it. Her white-lace minidress was red-lit by the lights.


    “TriCity News Service,” read the man.


    Nelson took back his card.


    Roxelle put her hands on her hips. “Woman’s Day looking for my recipe for sausage paprikash?” she asked. “Or are your readers wondering what a nice girl like me is doing in a place like this?”


    “We’ve got a press release in the office,” said the man helpfully. “I’m her manager.” When he turned around Jacquetta saw he’d drawn his three strands of hair into an unkempt ponytail. He opened the door to a tiny room that seemed to double as a storage space for industrial-sized jars of marinara sauce and cleaning fluid.


    Roxelle sat behind the desk, her manager perched unsafely a single buttock on the desk’s edge and Nelson gestured for Jacquetta to take the only chair. It seemed like a good idea as at least some insurance against being thrown out.


    “Get me some more bute, Clint,” Roxelle asked, putting one leg up on the desk and unzipping her boot. “You can tell your readers stripping’s hell on the knees.”


    “It’s the high heels,” said the manager, producing a syringe kit. “Miss Shields doesn’t get on her knees for anybody.”


    “Not anymore,” said Roxelle, her teeth chattering as the needle went in. Under these lights her skin seemed strangely matte white, but her black eyes were old. Impossible mounds of blue-black hair poured down her back. It made Jacquetta’s head hurt to think of trying to hold up so much hair. The manager rummaged in a briefcase for paper.


    “So what do your readers want to know?” she asked, relaxing back in the brass-studded captain’s chair. In a sing-song voice she teased, “I was born a poor little gypsy girl in a tiny town in upstate New York.”


    Jacquetta had a brainwave. “Devil’s Elbow?”


    The shock was palpable. The manager dropped the briefcase in his haste to open the door and usher them out.


    “We’re researching the Kleinemann-Lundt case,” said Nelson. Roxelle’s eyes filled with tears.


    “Have you found my baby girl?”


    “Baby girl?” asked Jacquetta. “I thought you were sisters.”


    The manager dumped Jacquetta out of her chair but she resisted ejection. The two women looked at each other; Jacquetta’s flushed skin facing Roxelle’s hard Chinese mask.


    “I was only twelve years old,” said Roxelle. “What’s she done now?”


    “She’s been sending anonymous letters to people,” said Jacquetta. Now it all made sense. “She rented a love nest in your name.”


    “Out! Out!”


    There was an unbecoming moment of full-body wrestling with Clint the Manager before the stage door slammed behind them.

  • The Pinch of Death – a mystery by Alysse Aallyn

    Chapter 31. Devil’s Elbow

    At the library he gave her a stack of dimes and said, “Better make copies of those letters. Lady Susan might repossess them out of sheer revenge.”


    “I’ve got my own dimes thank you,” she said, pushing his hand away.
    The newspapers – now confined to microfilm operated by a sticky hand crank rotary machine – were bleached of both sense and sensibility.

    Photos of Kleinemann and Lundt might as well have been Kabuki masks; one Obvious Old Woman and a pair of gangly dark-haired teenagers, visibly he and she. Jacquetta had better luck with the magazines, showing two pictures; one of a terrifying earth floored basement where tree trunks complete with bark held up the ramshackle house and the other of the “back yard”; a chipped cement court whose single central pole dangled a depressing wire.


    The tale was soon told; the old woman tortured Ricey Kleinemann as long as she was able, beating her with a wire and confining her to the basement until the abused was old enough and big enough to become the abuser. She, as Clay Lundt asserted – or Clay, as Ricey always insisted – followed Granma’s script closely, throwing her down the basement stairs, tethering her in the yard and ultimately garroting her with a wire. Whether it was the same wire that had been used on Ricey the story did not say.

    Even a town named “Devil’s Elbow” could produce enough jury members with a sneaking suspicion Granny had it coming.

    The “perps” – no one bothered to ascribe superior or inferior culpability – were confined till their twenty-sixth birthdays – then Sayonara. There were no stories in any press format about their release three years ago.


    “Yuck,” said Jacquetta. “What kind of a name is Ricey? I don’t know if we should even bother to have any of this copied.”


    “It was Rise,” said Nelson. “German. All we need to now is whether this is any kind of a secret worth killing for.”


    “They did their time,” Jacquetta said.


    “But could either of them ever get a position of trust again?”


    “Nobody’s the right age.” Jacquetta tried to think how old Penny Dettler was. Hard to tell – she looked thirty in some light and forty in another. “The au pair said both Avalon and her husband are having affairs with younger partners. One of them could be one of our ex-killers.”


    “If we knew who they were.”


    “Benson might have known. And Chester is rumored to have affairs with people he hires. Benson would have investigated all that.”


    “And now he’s dead.”


    In fact there were nothing but dead ends in this case, thought Jacquetta. That was obviously the way the murderer liked it.

  • The Pinch of Death – a mystery by Alysse Aallyn

    Chapter 30. The Detective’s Dilemma

    “Wow,” said Lt. Marie, sitting down uninvited, “Lawyered up already, huh?”


    “Mr. Kyro is my friend,” said Jacquetta stiffly. Luckily Nelson said nothing.


    Clearly unbelieving, Lt. Marie produced a paper. “I’d like you to sign this statement that you made this morning, and answer a few more questions about your roommate’s life. What did you know about her job, for example? Did she ever complain to you about it?”


    This guy just wasn’t getting it. While correcting typos with one hand, Jacquetta said, “I don’t think this murder had anything to do with my roommate’s job. My roommate was helping me try to find an anonymous letter writer and I think –“


    “Oh? Playing amateur detective, eh? You got any of these letters?”


    Jacquetta didn’t know whether he meant had she “received” any or was she carrying, but she had started confiding in him so she might as well continue. “The officer who searched my purse already saw these,” she said laying them out on the table, “But-“


    Lt. Marie took one look at the blue stationery and the daisies and said, “Nah. Nah.”


    “Nah?” Nelson echoed. It was the first word he had spoken.


    “That’s clearly a woman’s letter. This is a man’s crime.”


    “It is?”


    Jacquetta was grateful for Nelson’s intervention because the detective was defensive with him in a way he certainly wasn’t with her.


    “Yeah,” said Marie, “It was a sex crime. She was strangled with a dishtowel – you got any idea how much strength that would take?”


    “How much?” asked Nelson.


    “A lot. Plus there was a broomstick at the scene. Looks like impotent rage to me.”


    “Impotent rage?” Jacquetta echoed faintly. She didn’t dare even think what this could possibly mean.


    “Date gone wrong. Enough said,” smirked the detective.


    “Honey didn’t date anyone but Barney,” insisted Jacquetta.


    “Maybe that’s what she told her roommate, the nun. For all you know, she sent those letters.” He swept them up with her statement as he rose to go.


    “They weren’t sent to ME,” argued Jacquetta. But Nelson laid a restraining hand along Lt. Marie’s arm.


    “You can’t take those, he said.


    Lt. Marie regarded him disbelievingly. “You said it was evidence in the case.”


    “And you said it wasn’t.” Nelson took them back. “Get a warrant.”


    Lt. Marie seemed incensed.


    “When are you releasing my car?” asked Jacquetta.


    “At the moment we’re all jammed up with a bunch of uncooperative witnesses,” he said, “So I don’t know. Check back later in the day.”


    He flounced out.


    “I don’t think Lt. Susan is going to be our savior,” sighed Nelson.


    “Well, you didn’t treat him very diplomatically,” protested Jacquetta.


    “They had no right to search your car.”


    “I said they could! There’s nothing in there but trash. I wanted them to get on with the actual evidence.”


    Nelson shook the letters at her. “You see how well THAT worked out!”


    “I’m certain he’s completely wrong about the case,” said Jacquetta.


    “Well, if he’s right about the dishtowel, I guess it has to be a man. Lundt would be what… twenty-nine? Thirty?”


    “Maybe Lundt and Kleinemann are still working together.”


    “Maybe.” He stood up.


    “So where are you going?”


    “With you to the state library, looking up that old case, and then we have to hit the Brass Ass.”


    She couldn’t believe it. “Don’t you have work?”


    He grinned. “I’m bereaved, remember” The grin faded. “I lost everything.”

  • The Pinch of Death – a mystery by Alysse Aallyn

    Chapter 29. Kleinemann-Lundt

    They lunched together in the coffee shop. Jacquetta was afraid Nelson would say something more about leaving his wife – thank God he didn’t bring it up. Maybe last night changed his mind – she couldn’t take the time to care. No decisions could possibly be made.


    She pulled out the anonymous letters from her bag and going over her notes, he saw the words Kleinemann-Lundt.


    “Kleinemann-Lundt!” he exclaimed. “It must mean the crime case – what else could it mean?”


    “A crime case? I hope so. I mean, how many Kleinemann-Lundts could there be?” she echoed hopefully.


    “Kleinemann was one person and Lundt was the other but I don’t remember who was who. I’ll have to look it up.”


    She poured more coffee. “I don’t remember anything about it. Tell me.”


    “It was the kind of case I like to follow. Very psychological.” Nelson leaned back in his chair, seemingly better rested and more at peace. “About twelve years back. In upstate New York. A teenage girl and boy killed her grandmother. Actually tortured the old woman to death. There had been a lot of abuse in the family – not that the jury cared. Each kid blamed the other – so the question was, who was really responsible?”


    “Well, if it was her grandmother –“


    “Yeah, but the boy had a big motive, too. The old lady was preventing them from being together.”
    “And each said the other did it?”


    “Right. But the jury didn’t buy it and locked them both up. Of course, they were minors so they could be out now.”


    “And they repudiated each other?”


    “Totally. If you’re familiar with the concept of ‘folie a deux’ – “


    She couldn’t avoid a sour grimace. “Some people say that’s what all love is.”


    He took her hand – “I hope you’re not one of them.”


    “I hope I’m not.” She was feeling helpless in the thrall of circumstance.


    “I’m sorry in one way about this morning – and in another way I’m not sorry,” he tentatively suggested.


    “I’m not sorry,” she insisted, more decisively than she felt.


    “Obviously, I’m happy for me – you know I’m greedy and take all I can get – but I’m worried about you. I don’t want to influence you.”


    He stroked her palm. Still influencing her. Though maybe it was unconscious.


    “I can’t make decisions,” she told him. “Not till this is over. We have to decide what to tell the police.”


    “Why now? Why decide?”


    “Because Lt. Marie is over there, and I see he’s looking for me.”

  • The Pinch of Death – a mystery by Alysse Aallyn

    Chapter 28. Nelson

    His guarded voice had always betrayed him: it usually meant he wasn’t alone.


    “I’m at The Coaching House,” she said. “Room 412.”


    “Really?” His voice changed immediately. Panic? Longing? Fear?


    “Honey’s been killed.”


    It was decisive. He said, “I’ll come immediately.”


    All the rooms at the Coaching House looked the same, and like Pasteur’s dogs, she had learned to slaver in every one. Would she again? It was hard for her mind to imagine, but the body doesn’t forget.


    She sat on the bed in the nondescript chamber, under a blurry painting of The Four Zoas and tried to think what she would say to the man who had once been her lover. How much could she tell him, when what she told Honey had gotten her friend killed?


    He didn’t even know Honey. They had never met, but they cordially loathed each other from a distance while they struggled for the rights to Jacquetta’s soul.


    He wore a suit; she should have been expecting that; after all, it was a workday. She preferred him naked; but she shouldn’t allow herself to think about that. She had to let him in at the door; that meant they were close enough to hug. At once her disloyal body woke up, just like a dog, re-playing so many delicious feedings from the master’s hand.


    She backed away in disarray, sitting down on the single armchair; why hadn’t she met him in the coffee shop for God’s sake? Why a hotel room? Because she craved privacy to cry, to shriek, tear her hair, throw herself down on the carpet wailing…


    He sat on the bed.“What happened?”


    She was going to have to tell him. She simply could not do this alone.


    “If I tell you, your life’s at risk too,” she said first, knowing he never cared for things like that. The interesting part was watching the disbelief in his eyes give way to a kind of confused sadness; how could even the most outrageous statements be taken for hyperbole when Honey was dead?


    “I accept everything,” he said finally, “I thought I told you. Just tell me what happened.”


    “Coming back from my last day of work I met an old lady on the train and we fell into conversation. She said she was impressed–“ Jacquetta finally had the grace to blush, “with the whole monastery thing and she wanted to consult me about a problem with an evil person in her life. One of us mentioned the word, “sociopath.”


    “Probably you,” he said. Same old Nelson. “Accepting everything” obviously didn’t mean agreeing with her, promoting or even soothing her ego. Jacquetta had ignored this as much as she possibly could in the past and she wasn’t going to make an exception now.


    “She invited me to lunch to talk, but before we could meet, she – died.”


    He picked up on her intonation. “Murder most foul?”


    “Nothing else makes sense. But before she died, she put me in her will and left me six thousand dollars.”


    Ironic skepticism – his natural pose – surfaced beneath his patient, listening expression and struggled a moment for dominance. She ignored it.


    “She also left me a library of books on stained glass where I think she hid a message – but one of the books was destroyed before I could get to it.”


    “No other personal directive?”


    She could see how this was going to go; he would play lawyer.


    “No. It was Beatrix Rainbeaux – one of the Glasstown founders.”


    “So, rich,” he put in. “Powerful.”


    “Yes. I met the family at the will reading and they are a nasty bunch.”


    “But if she didn’t actually disinherit any of them doesn’t that mean –“
    She ignored him.


    “I sent –“ This was the hard part and her voice faltered – “I sent Honey to Iridium, the Rainbeaux house, to search for something.”


    Now he gasped. “How’d you do that?”


    I’m going to cry, thought Jacquetta and if I cry I’ll never get this out. She made a monumental effort. “She was excited about playing detective. She met Avalon Powell –“


    “Avalon Powell?”


    She wasn’t going to ignore his astonished expression.


    “You know her?”


    “Well…” she hated watching him equivocate while she had undressed her whole soul; “She’s…everywhere. She’s hard to ignore.”


    “How well do you know her?” She raised an eyebrow.


    “Not THAT well. I’ve met her,” Nelson admitted. “She…wants publicity. And her husband needs it.”


    Well, that was true. So far as it went. Rather than believing or unbelieving she moved on. If she didn’t unburden herself, if she didn’t pass this torch to a healthy runner, she’d go under.


    “Honey impersonated a home buyer, and I called Avalon to tie her up so Honey could snoop. She found Miss Rainbeaux’s date book and that told us two things more.”


    He poured himself a glass of water. She refused one.


    “Apparently the day I met her Miss Rainbeaux was coming back from looking up a D.L. LeRoi in Brooklyn, so I thought I ought to look her up, too.”


    “Her?”


    There was that lawyer again.


    “The landlord told me the room was rented by a pretty brunette who described herself as the secretary of Roxelle Shields.”


    “Roxelle Shields!”


    “You know her, too?” Jacquetta commented sourly.


    “Everyone knows her. Everyone male,” he conceded.


    “Well, Honey had heard of her.” The very name was difficult to say. She soldiered on. “I called the bar Shields owned but they wouldn’t let me talk to her and they said she doesn’t have a secretary.”


    “We should still pay her a visit,” said Nelson.


    Jacquetta relaxed the tiniest bit. At least he was offering to help. He would try to take over of course – that was his nature – but she knew she couldn’t do this alone. It was unsafe, for one thing.


    “The apartment was empty. It looked like a love nest to me.”


    “What does an empty love nest look like?” He was trying not to smile. Already she was out of love with him.


    “Satin sheets? Massage oils?”


    “Hardly empty,” he defended himself.


    “They were in the trash, along with a box of stationery and a broken anklet with Avalon’s initial. Then I went to Avalon’s Open House and I…took a piece of mail.”


    “You stole a piece of mail?”


    “I don’t know if it’s stealing when the person is deceased.”


    “It is,” he corrected, “But I’ve done worse.”


    “Her datebook said she was meeting with a “Benson” every week for months. But there are a lot of Bensons in the world. The letter was a returned one of Miss Rainbeaux’s to a private investigator who turned out to be dead, too.”


    That slowed him down! All he could say was, “Wow.”


    “Wow. Right. She was sending him an anonymous letter she had obviously received. I’m guessing he asked her to send any more letters on to him.”


    “But he died?”


    “Shot with his own gun and his office was burned down.”


    “Holy cow,” said Nelson, “Do the police know any of this?”


    “Thy don’t have it connected up,” said Jacquetta. “They probably don’t know about the letters.”


    “So then -?” his face fell. He knew it could only get worse.


    “The au pair told me Avalon was having an affair with Neil Dettler, the family lawyer.”


    “That doesn’t surprise me. I’d guess there’s a long list of Mrs. Powell’s passions.”


    Mrs. Powell’s Passions sounded like a sixties rock band. Jacquetta thought she personally would be surprised to find out Avalon loved anything but lucre, but why bring that up at this point?


    “And his wife, Penny Dettler, said she received one of the anonymous letters.”


    “So, we don’t know how many people got them.”


    “We don’t. And I just got back…just got back today and…” this was a struggle – “Honey was dead.” She wept.


    He came to sit beside her. “God, I’m sorry,” he said.


    “The apartment as all torn up but – I have the letters. Maybe they got the datebook, I don’t know. The police hustled me out of there.”


    “What did you tell them?”


    “I don’t know how to tell them anything. They’re looking at Honey’s boyfriend, for God’s sake.”


    “I’ll help you,” he said. “We’ll do it together.”


    He was taking over, like he took over her body. Right now. But why fight it when she wanted – when she needed him so much? She wanted to be whirled away, outside the reach of her sore brain. She clung to him as to a life raft to prevent her from drowning.