Alysse Aallyn

Category: DreamLife

  • #DreamTherapy – Dream Journaling with Alysse Aallyn

    Breakthrough – Epiphany – Are you battering against barriers in your dreams? Do you grind your teeth and clench your jaw while unconscious? Are you breasting tape, cresting mountaintops, intent on shedding light on the darkness? You are seeking, or experiencing an epiphany.

    Eureka! – It’s possible to have that sudden enlightenment and NOT FULLY REALIZE it. Could it be that it is too threatening? Could be that you lack the language to explain the connection you have made. Could be that your “discovery” started down so deep in your consciousness that it’s taking its time to percolate through to the surface. In the meantime, your dreams are attempting to heal the jagged edges of your fear, your incomprehension and your daring. Do not fear them. Open your Dream Journal.

    Challenge – Let’s consider the pieces of your psyche/life that don’t quite add up. Are you a highly accomplished, well-trained professional who acts like a supplicant around a certain somebody? Are you a group member whose leaders make decreasing sense and more self-serving decisions they refuse to acknowledge? Have you been struggling with a knotty historical, mathematic or scientific problem nobody can solve but now you think you’re seeing edges of light?

    Danger – Everybody quits too early. The status quo is just SO attractive. Let somebody else be the adventurer, let somebody else put into words what nobody can say, let some other poor sucker stick their neck out. Let’s look at those fears rationally. It’s OK to protect yourself – in fact, it’s mandatory – remember getting that oxygen mask working on you, first? But that doesn’t stop you from looking at reality, which also contains suspicions, insights, ideas and yes, dreams.

    Opportunity – How often have you had that experience of waking up from a dream whose conclusions were so real they were right in front of you, only to see them melt in the sand like an escaping tide until they’re no longer perceptible. That’s OK. They’re still right on the tip of your psychic tongue, just waiting for a little more encouragement. We are all already familiar with the “sleep on it” suggestion, but anything that takes your mind temporarily off an obsessive problem can be helpful. Sports, prayer, meditation, reading, a massage, a night out, but please – not too much liquor. Hold it at two if you can, if you can’t, don’t start. Liquor affects the brain, killing brain cells. That might keep overlords seeking compliance happy but it’s not good for your growth and development. Keep dreaming. Keep using your fears as stepping stones to climb higher. Never give up. Be clever – like the serpent, as Jesus suggested.

    Models & Mentors – “Gratitude bestows reverence, allowing us to encounter everyday epiphanies, those transcendent moments of awe that change forever how we experience life and the world.” – John Milton

    “Record these epiphanies with care as the most delicate and evanescent of moments” – James Joyce

    “Nations shall come to your light, and kings to the brightness of your rising”
    – Isaiah 60: 1-3

    “One’s destination is never a place, but a new way of seeing” – Henry Miller

    Mantra – “I see”

    Meditation –

    #Haiku: Breakthrough

    Working sleepless
    In my cell
    I revel in goddesses’ sharp
    Applause

  • #DreamTherapy – Dream Journaling with Alysse Aallyn

    The Path – Goals – Do you dream of paths diverging in a yellow wood? Checklists? Maps? Are you talking to yourself as you follow your routine? What IS your routine? How has your routine evolved? What efforts have you made to change it to newly perceived needs and discoveries? Or is your routine formed outside you, for the benefit of others?

    If You Have No Goal, Any Path Will Take You There – But you won’t like where you end up. Besides, you DO have a goal, (at least one). Sometimes it’s something as simple as “stopping the pain” or “staying healthy.” As you become more adept at change, you realize dividing effort into “steps” to achieve a goal is critical.

    The Doctor Says Change – Most of us are familiar with being confronted at the doctor’s office with the undeniable fact that he American diet has not been good for our bodies. It’s not kind to our brains or our joints, and if we are going to preserve such things we are going to have to make some changes. Example: the intimidating goal of losing 50 pounds. Yes you can take expensive medication that will make you sick, or you, personally, can change. That won’t happen fast. Your conscious, subconscious, unconscious and collective unconscious (not to mention your pre-conscious!) are going to kick up a helluva fuss. Studying the history of human weight loss attempts we see that if you are not ready for the psychic pushback your body will actually double down and accelerate its weight gain. The same thing happens with alcoholism and drug addiction – trying to “control “ it often drives the supplicant deeper into their disease in a panicked reaction to the “loss” of supply.

    Challenge – But you can be ready. Open your Dream Journal. This is nothing more than the sore-muscled athlete, Day 2, thinking, I CAN’T DO THIS. Guess what? EVERYBODY THINKS THAT! Expect it! You treat yourself with loving compassion and cold compresses, hot baths and massage. In other words, there is an established map, a way to GETH THROUGH THIS. The challenge is to apply such a map to yourself, and then TAILOR and CUSTOMIZE it to your goals.

    Danger – Don’t go it alone. A side effect of “lessening supply” is “crazy thinking.” You will hear yourself say things like, “Nobody cares about me so I’ll just drink myself to death”; or “I WANT TO DISAPPEAR INTO THIS VAT OF ICE CREAM.” We all need somebody to talk us off the ledge, somebody who is familiar with not just our goals but what we are going through. Your id is holding the rest of you hostage, and you need an experienced hostage negotiator. So, don’t try making it through this crisis without a buddy AND a coach. AA has an acronym – HALT representing:
    Hungry
    Angry
    Lonely
    Tired
    These are the emotion states in which you make Bad Decisions. So when you see this condition developing – Halt. Call your hostage negotiator immediately.

    Opportunity – You will change! That’s the guarantee! You can’t go back to your old self. We can’t dip our fingers in the same river twice, and it turns out all addictions are an attempt to honor a past golden moment that can never, by definition, return. But you know what’s more interesting? Figuring out what that golden moment was, how it was caused, what it represents, and where the emotion you treasured is in your present life. And if it’ not there, how to get it. Trust me, there’s a world of love out there. If in doubt, see the movie UP. Now watch it again.

    Models & Mentors – “Setting goals is the first step into turning the invisible into the visible” – Tony Robbins

    “If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not people or things”
    – Albert Einstein

    “A goal without a plan is just a wish” – Antoine St. Exupery

    “Always remember your focus determines your reality” – George Lucas

    Mantra – “I Plan”

    Meditation –

    #Haiku: Goals

    Courage is
    Constant map redesign:
    Looking backward
    Planning forward

  • #DreamTherapy – Dream Journaling with Alysse Aallyn

    Transformation – Metamorphosis – Are you a SciFi fan? Do you dream of bionic humans? Robots? Cryogenics? How about caterpillars becoming moths and butterflies? Acorns don’t look like oak trees, pollywogs don’t resemble frogs. It is quite common in nature to evolve into some unexpected form. What a metaphor for us, as Ovid’s Metamorphoses postulated centuries ago. We speculate about humans becoming invisible, disguising themselves as bats or wolves; Greek gods “became” swans and bulls to serve their purposes. Our imagination is rich with all these possibilities, as is our literature, theatre and film. At a funeral, we look at a bird invading the church is a whole new light. Is it a message? An incarnation?

    You Contain Multitudes – Every time you buy a bottle with an animal on the label you are calling on the powers of that creature just as your ancestors did. We suspect eating the flesh of creatures might confer their powers. We‘ve also heard the legend that when a human husk breathes its last, the soul escapes and may reincarnate in heaven or another life as something different, without blemish, wholly beautiful for once and for all.

    Challenge – Who’s your power animal? What supernatural gifts do you desire? Give yourself the freedom to think about the gifts you yearn for and the purposes you’d put them to. You can define yourself this way, experiment and play. You might not wish to be a dragon every day of the week, but once in a while it could be fun. How can you cultivate these gifts, desires and yearnings in your present-day life? Open your Dream Journal and spend some time considering. Don’t these dreams make you a bigger, more important person, even if nobody knows? What if they did know? How might you tell them and who would you tell?

    Danger – We don’t want to jump off buildings pretending we can fly. We’re expanding our psychic repertoire, not trying to escape into fantasy. The most commonly yearned for gift is omnipotence. But think how terrible life would be – not just for others but for YOU if your whims and fantasies were never checked? Often our wish is that we be spared the pain of growing up. But who wants to remain a toddler forever? As we get older we are REALLY coming into our own and knowing and sharing our true self. A joy not to be missed. Pity the toddler who prays to fly through the air so he doesn’t have to learn to walk and risk falling down.

    Opportunity – These metaphors are a great way to connect with others on a psychic level. It’s not just fun finding people to share our dreams and games, it’ a bonding experience. We are the Tiger people! We are the Mastodons! We are the Raptors! Every member of the team adds skills to create a Group Being who is stronger than all of us, and who could become our family and community.

    Models & Mentors – “Nothing gets transformed in your life until your mind is transformed” – Ifeanyl Enoch Onuoha

    “Every success story is a tale or adaptation, constant revision, and change”
    – Richard Branson

    “Perfection is constant transformation” – Nia Peeples

    “The secret of change is to focus all of your energy not fighting the old but building the new” – Socrates

    Mantra – “I become”

    Meditation –

    #Haiku: Transformation – Metamorphosis

    Cells
    Seed change;
    Unwilled at birth;
    Conscious in adulthood:
    What
    Will you be?

  • #DreamTherapy – Dream Journaling with Alysse Aallyn

    Aspiration – The Future – Do you dream about the future? Outcomes desired or feared? People changing or evolving? A more orderly or chaotic world? We know the future is real – it keeps arriving every second! How often does it match our aspirations? How often does that matter?

    You Are a Planner – Nothing comes to reality without a Plan. This seems a main reason for the existence of God – the Planner of bluebells and quasars seems so real to us and the scope of the universe, its chemistry, math & physics, so interesting. Even the people who insist “chaos” is everywhere don’t actually want chaos in their own lives.

    Is your mind greater than the universe? Clearly not. God is a thought-problem of Universal Capability. No single brain has been able to encompass the universal design – not even Einstein’s. Wishing is helpless and invites one to selfdom which leaves the wisher worse off. But plans evolve, along with us, and even when they fail, WE succeed. Edison said he hadn’t failed at anything, he simply found “ten thousand ways things don’t work.” That’s called knowledge!

    Challenge – Open your Dream Journal. What dreams would you LIKE to have? You are talking to your subconscious which in turn invites your unconscious which learns from the collective. Take an active role in your future, in making wishes and dreams come “true”. Don’t bother investing pride and honor in being “right” – with a universe this complex, NOBODY’S right. Invest instead in having a good, flexible map that evolves along with you. Plans are adaptable – they must borrow from all disciplines. Plans can be Art – Art is what this universe IS – and so are the people in it. Give it room to grow.

    Danger – Don’t forget the people who choose evil. They’re out there and we won’t play into their games. Don’t dismiss Fundamental Attribution Error; many systems are set up to send you down. There’s also coincidence and happenstance, which is what the phrase “Being in the wrong place at the wrong time” expresses. So our map must be modified to deal with tragedy –the ongoing and universal tragedy of illness, war and disaster. We try to avert these things, are learning how best to avert them but everything isn’t up to us. There are dark forces at work that enjoy harm and destruction so we can’t become over invested in “winning” because we can’t see or know everything.

    Opportunity – This is where Faith comes in. Jesus said evil will not win, that your joy can never b taken away, and that’s good enough for me. Find your own mantra to stay strong and keep working on a healthy you designing a healthy plan and promoting people around you who can make your plan better. You will also be contributing to their plans – and that’s gratitude. And love. Win-win!

    Models & Mentors – “The future is completely open and we are writing it moment to moment” – Pema Chodron

    “The future starts today, not tomorrow” – Pope John Paul II

    “A good education is the foundation of a better tomorrow” – Elizabeth Warren

    “An uncertain future is not oppressive when Hope guides us”

    – Charlotte Bronte

    Mantra – “I can”

    Meditation –

    #Haiku: Destiny

    This day’s good
    Because yesterday
    I thought about today:
    Momentum

  • #DreamTherapy – Dream Journaling with Alysse Aallyn

    Passion – Courage – Do you dream of fantastic feats? Circuses? Meritocratic competitions? Sports? Standing up in front of the class? Your psyche is expressing passion, the fuel for courage. Passion propels us forward when it would be safer to hang back. Why? Sometimes we want something concrete, but most of the time it is the adventure itself that we seek, we are longing to be transformed into athletes of endurance who can farther faster, learn more better and imagine deeper and more vibrantly.

    You Are a Warrior – Even if you don’t like to fight with your fists you have learned to fight with your mind, with your longing, with your desire. So much is impossible, yet humanity attempts the impossible every day, and a surprising extent of the time, we succeed. Our well-being, our future, depend upon this passion and this courage. Be as wily as a serpent and as gentle as a dove so that your power morphs to encompass the problem. Open your Dream Journal.

    Challenge – Will your heart and your courage be broken? Many times, says the fable. But light comes in through the broken places. You will flex and bend. You will evolve and grow. Your passions will change. You will rise above your passions. Your courage will evolve. YOU WILL FLOURISH and the beauty of your effort, of you dream, joins together with all the other glorious human resolutions and accomplishments to power the planet.

    Danger – Derailment is common. It is endemic. It is not the end. We live in a capitalistic society where some deliberately harness the passion, the courage, the imaginations of others to benefit only themselves. It is heartbreaking to put all your keenest insight into discoveries and achievements that only serve to buy baubles for a billionaire. Soldiers can find themselves giving everything for Very Bad Ideas. Artists watch their best installments torched and trashed. All of us face the shock of old age – if we are lucky. You need a shock absorber to upgrade your courage.

    Opportunity – The hum of the universe provides the refreshment we need. There is still much peace and beauty in the green places, and the eyes of children provide all the light we need. To be strong requires exercise – Push-relax, push-relax. Nutrition is the same. There’s a time to eat and a time to fast and each space is holy. The less we take, the less we require, the finer tuned becomes our mechanism. The more there is to share. Share with holy people who recognize and honor the gifts of God, not those who try to inspire hate, divisiveness and violence. Naturally we have sore places – we are warriors! We all need to give and receive the magical healing of a loving touch. Let that courage be your passion.

    Models & Mentors – “Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen.” – Brene Brown

    “Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage” – Anais Nin

    “Be brave. Take risks. Nothing can substitute for experience.” – Paulo Coelho

    “It takes courage to become who you really are.”
    – e.e. cummings

    “Courage is contagious” – Billy Graham

    “Mantra – I flourish”

    Meditation –

    #Haiku: Devourer of Hearts

    Scaling hearts
    For final judgment:
    Soured hearts
    Desiccate;
    Passion hearts
    Burgeon

  • #DreamTherapy – Dream Journaling with Alysse Aallyn

    Nurturing – Stewardship – Dreaming about pets? Comforting little wild animals? Gardening? These are Nurturing dreams. Like a child with a doll you long to care to another being and help it achieve its fullest potential. You long to protect it and succor it and at the same time, protect, succor and nourish the lost, frightened, wild, shy, needy parts of yourself.

    You Are A Steward – Dreaming about climate change? Overwhelmed by horrendous weather conditions such as tornados and hurricanes? Are you vegetarian or vegan? Enraged by animal abuse, factory farming and climate denial? Do you fear tsunamis and volcanoes? Do you see the whole of Mother Earth in your care?

    Challenge – You can stand up for your beliefs and test them. You will make a difference. Remember the legend of the one starfish the little girl saved? She couldn’t save all the starfish, but that one she saved was grateful. Remember karma? Karma is your universal bank account. When that little girl gets to heaven and it turns out the starfish are in charge, she is Good to Go.

    Danger – The only danger here is that you will forget to apply your own oxygen mask BEFORE you find oxygen for everyone else! Rookie mistake! Also a signal to predators everywhere that you will neglect your own needs to give to others. A moment’s thought tells you this is a zero sum game where everyone, ultimately loses. Replenishment is key. Give a man a fish and you have one less fish. Teach a man to fish and you’ve upgraded a human. Develop a method of fish replenishment and you’ve got a sustainable economy.

    Opportunity – As with the fishing analogy, this offers an endless chance for Learning, Invention and Creativity. You are lighting one candle after another in a very dark world, and benefiting everyone who come into contact with you. Open your Dream Journal. Dream.

    Models & Mentors – “The only limitation to our realization of tomorrow are the doubts of today” – Franklin Delano Roosevelt

    “A tiny change today brings a dramatically different tomorrow” – Richard Bach

    “Nothing is impossible. The word itself says, “I’m Possible.” – Audrey Hepburn

    “If a problem is fixable, there is no point in worrying. If a problem is not fixable, there is no point in worrying.” – The Dalai Lama

    Mantra – “I give”

    Meditation –

    #Haiku: Secret Garden

    Empiricism
    Riots;
    Growth
    Overmasters
    Lucky
    Curator

  • #DreamTherapy – Dream Journaling with Alysse Aallyn

    The Waterfall – Change – Do you dream of water? Ocean travel? When was the last time you had a falling dream? Or a drowning dream? “Dropping stomach” dreams that make us gasp signal a desire for (and fear of) change.

      You Resist Stagnancy – As your conscious mind seeks stasis, which it interprets as “security”, your subconscious rebels. It demands change! In the meanwhile, your subconscious IS changing, evolving fiercely along with the drama playing out in the entropical human race. Tune in!

      Behind the Wish Lies the Fear – Do you know how to swim? Take swimming classes – many adults do if only to brush up on their skills. Swimming is an essential pre-birth memory from safety inside the mother. Floating is an excellent way to release trapped memories and confront fears. Your mantra: “I am brave.”

      Challenge – Always shape your change towards growth by asking, is this making me a better person, or a more fearful person? More competent, less dependent, more unique, less compliant, more imaginative, less angry, more joyous, less envious. Evolve with me! Streamline! Let’s surf! Surfers celebrate every different wave.

      Danger – Fundamental attribution error says we blame ourselves for cultural systems and world conditions over which we have no control. Check your guilt/anxiety levels. If they are raging, is there anything you can do to ameliorate the causative circumstances? Open your Dream Journal. Being without guilt or anxiety is NOT the goal – that would describe a sociopath! But being crippled by guilt OR anxiety when there’s nothing you can do about it is disabling. And we’re in the empowerment department here.

      Opportunity – Change is scary but it is inevitable. If you’re not managing your own evolution, you’re headed downhill. What are the attributes you admire? Spoiler alert – not complaining and helplessness! Develop a picture of yourself as a wise being emitting light. Nurture calm, contentment, gratitude – in the midst of a thirst for new ideas and experiences to add to your expanding galaxy of knowledge.

      Models & Mentors – “Progress is impossible without change”
      – George Bernard Shaw

      “Change is the law of life. Those who look only to past and present are certain to miss the future.” – John F. Kennedy

      “Change does not roll in on the wheels of inevitability but comes after continuous struggle.” – Martin Luther King

      “It is not the strongest of our species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the ones most responsive to change” – Charles Darwin

      Mantra – “I surf”

      Meditation –

      #Haiku: Unwanting

      Curbing desire
      Won’t work;
      Evolving desire will.
      Admit it:
      We’ve changed

    1. #DreamTherapy – Dream Journaling with Alysse Aallyn

      Symbiosis – Interdependence – you can’t make it on your own. We are social beings, we need other people, all those characters peopling your dreams. We are DEPENDENT on them. This is such a tough thing to face that there are whole categories of people who go around insisting they “made it on their own.” They’re the only ones who believe it! They assemble a vast team, and not only that, they are dependent on teams set up by others to provide safety, water, heat, light. Visit a country where this isn’t a given and then you’ll realize what a massive enterprise is taking place around us.

        Flourish, Don’t Exploit – Symbiosis benefits everyone. If it leaves you “worse off” it’s not symbiosis, it’s exploitation. In our dreams we fear depredation, loss, failure, humiliation. We depend on the Collective Unconscious for the meaning in our lives. Our sleep world is the theatre where we rehearse our fears, making them LESS LIKELY to come true! We fear dependence because that means our “supply” can be cut off. But we also provide supply to others. What, and who? Any way we can improve the supply lines?

        Danger – Interdependence is a delicate balance, requiring sensitivity, reflection, and the capacity to change. Above all we want to avoid “Doomsday thinking” in which “since” the obvious entropy of the universe ruins all relationships eventually, so, by this reasoning, they must be ruined NOW. This “fear” completely overlooks the spiritual growth which time allows. Interdependence gives us insight and time and improved relationships – a recipe for emotional and intellectual thriving.

        Challenge – To become independent (i.e. free) we have to face the fact of our dependence on others and their dependence on us. Get out your Dream journal. Consult your Dream Buddies. How symbiotic are your relationships? Is there harm involved? Depredation? Abuse? Don’t make me repeat the 17 warning signs of an abusive relationship. It’s unequal, never a two-way street. Belittling? Baiting? Shaming? You should be able to recognize these techniques NOW so you can strategize a way out! If you DON’T recognize them there’s a very good chance your dreams DO. Pay attention to them. It’s possible to be abused by relationships with people we’ve never met – banks – corporations – landlords – employers – if this isn’t an equally mutual beneficial relationship we’re OUTTA HERE. (This is why authoritarians fear Cancel Culture. It reduces their depredation pool.) Yes you CAN find and foster relationships that are more beneficial.

        Opportunity – Nobody and nothing’s perfect and nobody wants that –ugh! Perfection is about stasis which is DEATH. WE are all about change, growth, evolution, becoming. Wisdom! Sharing joy! A back and forth process involving OTHER PEOPLE. Let’s work on our confidence. Let’s work on our spiritual muscle. Let’s work on our mapping abilities so we have a good idea where we’re headed. Expect surprises and greet them when they show up: “Hello old friend.”

        Models & Mentors – “Symbiotic relationship in nature teaches us cooperation and shows that we are all connected” – Sanchita Pandey

        “You are in a dynamic relationship with the universe because your existence is win-win” – Teal Swan

        ‘Symbiosis is a much higher reflection of intelligent life” – Frederick Lenz

        “Love is a positive, symbiotic, reciprocal flow between two or more entities”
        – Inga Muscio

        Mantra – “Let’s play”

        Meditation –

        #Haiku: Symbiosis = Interdependence

        I think with
        Your memory I
        Stretch with
        Your muscles
        Grasp with
        Dead hands

      1. #DreamTherapy – Dream Journaling with Alysse Aallyn

        Flight – Ingenuity – Everyone has flying dreams! In those moments, we experience absolute power and potential, which is exactly what these dreams are about. We often wake from them with a feeling of disappointed sadness: “You mean I’m earth-bound? I want to go back!’

          You are a Transformer – Your mind is a potent tool that not only solves “problems”, it transfigures them. The problem dissolves as the potential for revolution becomes clear. DreamTherapy asks us to “rise above” the problem and survey it from another angle. We soar over the difficulty! Our most powerful tool is the question: “What if?”

          Challenge – Ingenuity sees connections where others see difficulties. Ingenuity relaxes with “tinkering.” Let’s become expert at cultivating the alpha brain waves to achieve “flow” – a condition of subconscious harmony where ideas spring up and potentialities thrive. “Flow” is where true freedom resides.

          Danger – Can you “waste” your life daydreaming? I’m one of those people who says “No”! But the mind is full of traps – cultural, educational and emotional – to keep us on a sabotaging treadmill of circular reasoning that gets us nowhere. Usually you can tell this is happening when you hear a carping, intrusive “voice”: “You shouldn’t be doing this” “You’re an idiot” “That won’t work.” That’s not you talking, it’s the “Hidden Enemy” out to undermine your efforts to focus and connect. Without the confidence to dream, think and experiment you can’t become your best self.

          Opportunity – We need a supportive environment where voices saying, “You can’t do it” are drowned out by empowering affirmations. Some people use music to achieve this state, others use meditation. If the voices persist, you will have to focus on THAT as the problem and tackle them directly with a conscious daily practice of studying where they came from. Open your Dream Journal. Who are “they”? What happened to those people? Why did they attack you? Now that you are no longer a child you can usually see them for the tiny, disappointed, bitter little minds they were. These are not forces to emulate. Deliberately let them go. “I am sorry for you, but you have no power over me”.

          Models & Mentors – “No problem of human making is too great to be overcome by human ingenuity, human energy and the untiring hope of the human spirit”
          – Bill Clinton

          “Mathematical reasoning is the exercise of inspiration and ingenuity”

          – Alan Turing

          “You cannot solve a problem with the same mind that created it”

          – Albert Einstein

          “Those who do not think outside the box are easily contained”

          – Nicolas Manetta

          Mantra – “I can fly”

          Meditation –

          #Haiku: Flight

          Doubt molts aloft
          Fresh freedoms
          Foreseen; fear
          Energized –
          Wings flexed
          Jump off

        1. #DreamTherapy – Dream Journaling with Alysse Aallyn

          Marriage – Partnership – Dreaming about weddings? Love, proposals, marriage? About The One that got Away? Dreaming about partnership enterprises in general – video gaming, tennis – where an Ideal Partner/Helper’s got your back? It’s very difficult to make it through life without a partner. We’ve got friends who come and go, sometimes special ones, but they’ve got obligations of their own. What if we had a Perfect Friend who made our Best Life their priority? What if we were not only willing to do the same for them but to promise this in public?

            Everybody Deserves Somebody – We come into adulthood with strong memories of familial dependence. We are all attracted to caretaking behaviors and easily seduced by promises to read our minds and give us what we really want – (even if we don’t know what it is ourselves.) Then we discover Desire. Not only for bodies, but for Persons, Lives, Individualities. Other people are a spice, other people are a medicine for everything our lives appear to be lacking. What if we could combine all our needs together in one appetizing package?

            Challenge – We rarely ask our friends to change their lives for us. They are VERY rarely willing to do so. But a partner is someone to actively plan a life with. You get to talk through all the Wants, the Possibles, the Fears. Heady stuff! The challenge is to know Yourself well enough to make any sort of honest statements about who you are, who you CAN be and who you want to be.

            Danger – A substantial number of partnerships fail. We all know this but we keep trying. Then there are the partnerships that evolve into Something Else, a Financial, Real Estate or Caregiving unit that is very necessary but also pretty far from what we originally had in mind. Our challenge is – can we know and be known? Can we evolve with another soul to a higher plane? Can we find our Soulmate? Does such a creature exist? Disappointment and betrayal are all too often the outcomes.

            Opportunity – Soulmates DO exist! And they DO evolve. We WILL change our lives for each other and they will change, blend, merge with us. Any interaction with another requires communication, boundaries, honesty, planning and “rules”. I put rules in quotes because a good partner keeps “transforming” the game and we keep transforming ourselves to meet it. The best way to honestly know yourself is to keep conscious, subconscious and unconscious in alignment. Purposeful dreaming – questioning the subconscious, confronting the unconscious and learning from the collective unconscious – is the best way to do that!

            Models & Mentors – “It’s not lack of love but lack of friendship that makes for unhappy marriages” – Friedrich Nietzsche

            “What counts in making a happy marriage is not compatibility but how you deal with incompatibility” – Leo Tolstoy

            “A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short”
            – Andre Maurois

            “The secret of a happy marriage is finding the right person. You know they’re the right person if you want to be with them all the time” – Julia Child

            Mantra – “I love”

            Meditation –

            #Haiku: Marriage

            Alone we perish
            Jointly immortal
            Heaven is
            Joy maximized