#Haiku: Subterfuge Inc.
Ruse patrol:
Dissimulating –
Saboteuse –
Guerilla guest –
C’est moi.
Category: #DreamTherapy
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Haiku by Alysse Aallyn – “Mastering Meditation”
#Haiku: Mastering Meditation
Experience
Intimidates.
Silence sees –
Compassion
Understands
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Haiku; Pupa Pluperfect by Alysse Aallyn
#Haiku: Pupa Pluperfect
Somnolescent
Caterpillars
Dream deep – the
Language of Butterflies
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The Emotional Archive – a haiku by Alysse Aallyn
#Haiku: The Emotional Archive
Sun withdraws;
Cry. Heat swells –
Sing. Intent
Blooms. Journaling honors
Life pulse.
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The Missing Bride – a mystery by Alysse Aallyn
I would have yelled at Derek
For manhandling me if I hadn’t needed it
So much. Was this the way
Mirabel had felt, impressed by Verne?
Climbing into crowded trains was a skill
I didn’t have. We could sit
This time. “I wonder if that guy’s
An Epstein flier,” Derek mused aloud.
“I wondered the same thing!
But I don’t know if he
Could get along with ANYBODY
Long enough. The way he clutched at
Mirabel; do those guys care
About anything that much?”
Derek seriously considered
This ill-expressed idea.
“It’s a club like any club,” he said.
“They’re posing for each other.”
Hard to argue with.
Hadn’t Verne and Mirabel
Been posing for ME?
“I had the most awful dream,”
I tentatively began.
“You believe in dreams?” I almost hit him.
Our first quarrel!
“People know things subconsciously before
They know them consciously.” I was
Quoting my drama prof, but
It sounds legit.
He was amenable. “So explicate
This dream.” I expanded.
“A ruined house – Downtown Abbey on the skids.
Shattered.
Sad and… threatening with a lot of
Broken stuff.” I found I couldn’t
Express the horned man.
Derek tried to locate the dream’s
Progenitor.
“Was it something he said?”
“He said Mirabel tried to live there and
Didn’t like it.”
“Intriguing,” murmured Derek. “Let’s research
this guy when we get home.”
Chapter 14 – A Ruined Manor
Derek’s family place was a
Penthouse atop the
Museum Mesko. Mostly glass.
In the “reserved” elevator
Derek grilled me:
“What do YOU think happened? You
Think she ran away
And left you holding – HIM?”
Unsure of speech when hurtling so fast
I breathed relief when the door bonged.
“I haven’t told you the worst part.”
“What’s that?”
“Our dresses for the wedding
Are the same. It’s
THE SAME DRESS.”
He didn’t get it.
“That’s worse than having
Fourteen year olds?”
“Yes, because SHE DID IT.”
Should I tell him Mirabel was some kind of
Flesh scout? He would never understand
Why I still sought her.
“You were her replacement.
Good that you got out of there.”
Through his folks’ dark foyer,
With the Tiffany lamps and stacks of mail
He led me to a long living room
With at least six sofas and the most
Fabulous view. Enough modern art to
Give anybody nightmares.
But the city laid out
Beneath the clouds was
“Ravishing.”
“Want something to eat?”
Why was I always hungry?
Was it hunger really or
Existential despair?
Existential despair can make a person
Fat. The microwave pinged.
“I can’t believe you didn’t Google this guy.”
I can’t believe I didn’t either.
Why didn’t I? Derek was good
At pointing out the logic of
The illogical world I’d just escaped.
Was this decompression something I shared
With Mirabel?
He levered out a plate of nachos,
Adding sour cream and guacamole.
I WAS hungry!
“I think I need a bib.”
He added piles of napkins.
I dumped nachos into my despair.
“Coffee? Tea? The wine’s
Locked up.”
“Coffee’s fine.”
On their home computer
I googled while he buttled.
The news was bad.
“His house looks like my dream!”
Valerian Hall, Verne’s “ancestral home.”
“There’s even a lake with folly.”
“Swear you didn’t look before?”
Derek was persnickety.
“Don’t you think sometimes
You absorb things from the air?
By osmosis?”
He politely considered the question,
Working his logic
Around this idea. “Remote viewing?”
“Peer Loses Bid to Break Entail.”
Screamed headlines as I scrolled.
Down, down, down.
“Looks like he couldn’t pry more money out.”
Derek typed – my research not
Enough for him.
“Says here he can’t go back because
There’s a warrant out for his arrest,”
“Look at the site!” I argued. “How could Royal Gossip
Know anything of value?”
“I admit you can’t trust exclamation points,”
Derek concurred.
“But it is a reason to avoid police.
Whatever it is,
“Can’t be enough to extradite.”
“I need a bathroom.”
To throw up?
I rose abruptly, headed down the hall.
“There’s a close one off the kitchen.”
Around the corner from the wall of refrigerators.
I checked myself in a tiny bathroom mirror.
Hollow-eyed, a girl who sorely needs a tan.
Completely different from my
Made-up, Russian hooker, Mirabel self.
“I found what he’s in trouble for,” said Derek
When I got returned. GBH.”
“Party drug?”
“Grievous bodily harm. He attacked someone.”
“A woman?”
“No. Some man in a pub.”
I couldn’t picture it.
Verne seemed more irritable than physical.
But then I recalled how he was about Ravi.
“So Verne’s on the run it sounds like.”
“It’s a new idea,” I agreed.
Derek moved effortlessly from coffee to seltzer.
The boy was a sponge.
“This is more fun than a video game.
Maybe I’ll transition to “criminal justice”.”
“What are your parents pushing?”
“Wealth Management. Fundraising.”
He made a disgusted face. “Tax Avoidance.
Dull, dull, dull. Studying rule breakers, though
You don’t find that interesting?”
Did I?
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The Missing Bride – a mystery by Alysse Aallyn
Chapter Ten – Is Lord Verne In the Epstein Files?
Cycling through museums of dream –
Christine, threatened forever by
Her hideous Phantom, Daphne
Sprouting as a laurel tree;
Philomela without her tongue.
Was that what Verne meant by
Classics? In the night’s dark heart
I woke and thought I saw him standing there or
Was it Mirabel – reaching out through a gold-framed
Mirror to beckon me closer
Or warn me away?
Somehow I became convinced
Mirabel was dead – murdered by
Lord Verne – he must have done it because
I was his perfect alibi, covering up
His appearance in the Epstein files
Of life, where old roués
Tarnish up the young.
If I stayed here
I’d be Mirabel forever – so I
Fled through shattered French windows where
Sheer white curtains blew across my face
Impeding me; supplicating
Me to dance, daring my embrace.
Where was I? Was this the ruined castle
Where the wraiths were tourists
Gazing at destruction paid for
With the lifeblood of the country?
The stone terrace beneath my feet
Was littered with the broken glass
Of Piper Heidseck bottles – picked my way
Between the broken statues – horny Pan
Whose face had split, cupids gaping with
Their fractured mouths, Vulcan lobbing
Stone pineapples down the mossy garden steps.
Pursued by something
Too disgusting to confront
I saw his shadow –
A leering man with antlers.
At least the distant view
Was comforting – pond encircling island
Ornamented by gazebo – forests crowned
By snowy mountains.
Surely he could not pursue me there.
Something amiss about this lighting –
Bleached too white – bad weather or
Apocalypse; eclipse of the sun or
The end of the world? I revert to
The “helpless bystander” dilemma of childhood –
This was too horrible: I forced myself awake.
Dreams multiplied enigmas –
I could not abandon Mirabel
Prance on home
And declare she’d
“Done it yet again.”
Either she was in danger or
I was. And all my life
I’d been preparing for this moment.
In the mirror I saw
Richenda Marshott complete with morning mouth –
Sunlight exacerbating a hangover
Not from overdrinking but
From over-dreaming.
Verne’s door was closed –
It would be awkward if I’d killed him
But I refused to check. Men
Should not be so dangerous.
I took control of the empty kitchen.
Some bad person – probably me –
Left out the cake – stiff and
Ruined now – only cardboard sugar
Which I guess it’s always been.
Tossed it,
Put the last espresso in the
Microwave and
Opened cabinets sadly.
Here’s finally a place where guests could
Unpack their clothes –
Empty, empty, empty.
The front door unclicked –
I jumped so hard
I banged my head.
“Ow!”
And Verne cried
“Breakfast!”
I hadn’t killed him after all. Seems
I’m the one who overslept.
“I haven’t slept so well in ages. What was
That stuff?” he
Eyed my mug with disapproval.
“You can’t drink yesterday’s.”
I’ve heard it said their lordships
Can’t comprehend the hoi polloi.
“I brought everything.” He went on,
Impossibly cheerful
Considering yesterday.
Waffles, eggs, fruit.
Coffee. No milk?
“It’s OK,” I said to his
Self-recriminating face
“I noticed you have ice cream.”
Vanilla works as well or
Even better.
“Mirabel never drank milk,” said Verne.
“She says it makes cowbones
And soy makes man-boobs.”
She would say that.
Charming Mirabel.
I could one-up and list the
Plant-based milks I willingly absorb but –
“Ice cream is better.”
Hard to one-up when one is
Drooling. Visibly.
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Purrsiflage – Daily Cat Zen with Alysse Aallyn
Feb 26
The Multiverse is Blossoming – You are awakened to the magical possibilities that surround you. Can you dream of eternal bliss? Are you floating in connectedness? In Love the boundaries of the other disappear; all is forgiveness. Merge fearlessly, knowing you will be able to get yourself back any time, soothed, improved, and healed.
We Are Purrsons for Love – Love is the spirit that animates the empty spaces between creatures. Once charged, these spaces become a powerful force for growth and change – uncharged they are so much dead air. This is the space that Purrsons protect. Love is the longing to be truly alive and to share life with the Blissed, Blessed Others.
Our Yearning Defines and Connects Us – As children we thought we knew about miracles but it seems we have forgotten. As Purrsons we fight for our ancestral memories of trust and closeness. How we long to be reminded of the ecstasy of selflessness, to re-experience the borderlessness between creatures that makes a dead multiverse come alive.
Love Is Our Being – Life is a spiral, our labyrinth, remember? We can’t go back, we can only go forward. We practice techniques and invent others as we design and redesign purposeful maps in a threatening and uncertain world. We have the collective confidence of all the brilliance of the Purrsons who came before us. Someone loved us once, eternalizing the golden moment, now we can re-create and perpetuate that magic by creating our own miracles.
Purrson Danger – Danger lies in narrowing, exclusionary definitions of what ‘can’t” happen, what “won’t” work. Purrsons explode restrictions all the time. Love must ever open outwards. As soon as we turn Love into a zero-sum game with a shut-off valve focused on our own narrow gratification, Love dies.
Purrson Opportunity – Love Is always a Miracle – It can restore the dead to life. It can open minds, it can awaken hearts. The possibilities of a Purrson are endless because we have chosen, with our flexibility and our sympathetic understanding, to be all-encompassing. Close your eyes and assume yoga’s starfish pose. We are open to what the multiverse longs to teach and once we commit to pass it on, we form an unbreakable chain, free at last from the bonds and the limits of selfishness. Clasp the hand (or paw) that generously, trustingly takes hold of yours. Let’s venture forth together.
Models & Mentors – ‘to love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides”
– David Viscott
“Miracles don’t happen to you, they happen through you.” – Mary Davis
“Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get, only what you are expecting to give, which is everything” – Katherine Hepburn
“Love gives you a piece of your soul you never knew was missing” – Torquato Tasso
“You’ve got to see the miracle to be the miracle.” – Jandy Nelson
“Love is the gift of oneself” – Jean Anouilh
“I love you for who I am when I’m with you”
– Elizabeth Barrett Browning
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Purrsiflage – Today’s Zen for Your Inner Cat with Alysse Aallyn
Feb 23
Day Seventy – Two
Today the Multiverse Decides – Time to make peace with your elders. Have you been dreaming of old people? Funerals? Aging in general? Gurus atop mountains? Dreaming about Buddhas, caves, palaces of wisdom? Or are you fixating on a specific elder who had an influence – bad or good – on your young life?
Purrsons’ Effort Is Sacred – Failure is when you don’t try. Experience is the great teacher. Bad Judgment leads to Experience which leads to Wisdom which leads to Good Judgment.
You Are Wiser Than You Know –– Contrast elders you admire with those you avoid. Aren’t the latter complainers who stress to everyone they meet what a bad hand life has dealt them? They complain about their health, politics, the weather, other people – whatever crosses the windscreen of their increasingly tightening minds. In their world children never call, doctors don’t help, media is lying, weather’s getting worse, food is adulterated and we are all going to hell. This person is clamoring ever more loudly for ego strokes without apparently noticing the discomfort and distaste of those around them. Rather than trying a new strategy, they step up their whingeing.
Read the Room! Is what you want to scream at them but you realize they can no longer “learn.” This is the opposite of wisdom. This is senility. A brain is shutting down, a personality is beggared and no one wants to be around it.
Think of an Elder you Admire. Nelson Mandela, Joe Biden, St. Joan, Desmond Tutu, The Dalai Lama, Deepak Chopra, Oprah Winfrey, Pema Chodron, the Pope? These persons are Ego-Less. Someone who talks about others, not themselves. They authentically care for others. They discuss ideas rather than gossip and have a long memory of problems, solutions, trial and error. They keep themselves “young” in all the ways that matter. People flock to them.
There’s an Old Cherokee Story about how each of us is born with a good wolf and a bad wolf inside of us. The one that gets stronger and takes control is the one you feed. Your challenge is to figure out how to practice your increasing wisdom every day. Accepting your dreams and encouraging their deepening understanding is the beginning of wisdom.
The Pursuit of Gurus is Inherently Dangerous because there are a lot of con artists out there seeking hostages and slaves. You require an experienced hostage negotiator to help free you. Avoid dominance/submission games and people who use any of the following interpersonal techniques:
- They’re never “wrong.” They refuse accountability. Nothing is ever their fault. Only they know what is fashionable, appropriate and right. You are always wrong.
- People only capable of hierarchical – vertical, not horizontal relationships. Someone needs to be “on top.” It will never be “your turn.” You will always be dragooned into doing their bidding.
- Blanket statements and generalizations – Thick layers of protective blather will keep you from getting through to discuss any task at hand.
- Misrepresenting your thoughts and feelings to the point of absurdity – You are a poorly educated simplistic thinker and a deficient reasoner and they are in on all the secrets and are the source of all wisdom. There’s no “cooperating” with these people.
- Nitpicking and moving the goal posts – Different rules for everyone and every day.
- Changing the subject to evade accountability – “This is your fault – You shouldn’t have given me that job to begin with.”
- Covert and overt threats –“If people know what you REALLY are, say, do, no one would be your friend.”
- Name-calling , stigmatizing, limiting– “Identity politics.” “You are a ___” Fill in the blank. And that’s all you’ll ever be in this guy’s eyes.
2. Destructive conditioning – Abuse, frustration and disrespect are this person’s calling archetypes but it’s never their fault that they live in a cloud of toxicity. They want you in there, too. Decline.
- Smear campaigns and stalking – Endless power struggles. “Office politics.” Need I say more?
- Playing the Martyr – “Everyone’s lying about me. I have so many enemies!”
- Demands Immediate Unthinking Fealty – When someone stresses the fact that they are a “nice guy” or girl, that you should “trust them” right away or emphasizes their credibility without any provocation from you whatsoever, WALK AWAY.
- Baits and badgers you – testing your limits. Can you be made to lose control?
- Boundary testing – “You owe me” – “You’re committed” – “Everyone does it” to drag you into unethical enterprise
- Aggressive jabs disguised as jokes – “Can’t you laugh about yourself? Everyone else is laughing.”
- Condescending sarcasm and patronizing tone – Know-It-Alls
No One Using the Above Techniques has your best interests at heart.
Our Scars Define Beauty – You can see this is all about Control. Avoid those who seek to control or dominate you. Revered Elders such as those mentioned above would not do that. Treat others with respect and expect respect yourself.
Purrsons Know Their Allies – Purrsons don’t fear becoming experienced. We seek it. People come and go, but the right ones stay. Time shows you the difference between the strength and honor of another’s heart. Purrsons share their knowledge.
Purrsons Can Read the Signs – If you don’t believe in yourself, no one else will. Train yourself to trust yourself. You can read and write maps, you can interpret Nature, you see Red Flags before they wave for others.
Purrsons Earn Peace – Random acts of kindness make everyone feel better. Purrsons’ “can do” attitude spreads peace. Purrsons welcome other peaceful spirits. We challenge the troubled to take their drama elsewhere.
Models & Mentors – “You can’t control the wind but you can learn to adjust your sails.” – Jimmy Dean
“It always seems impossible till it’s done.” – Nelson Mandela
“Knowledge speaks but wisdom listens” – Jimi Hendrix
“I am thankful to those who said No. Because of them, I did it myself.”
– Albert Einstein
“Experience is not what happens to you, but what you do with what happens to you.” – Aldous Huxley
“It is never too late to be who you might have been” – George Eliot
‘Wisdom is the journey no one can take for us” – Marcel Proust
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Purrsiflage – Today’s Zen for Your Inner Kitten with Alysse Aallyn
Feb 22
The Multiverse Runs on This Super-fuel – Do-overs. Clearing the slate completely. Letting go. Accepting fresh creation and creating freshly.
We All Need to Forgive… and be Forgiven. We transgress again and again against our own hearts, our own souls, and the heart and soul of the universe. It is the essential state of being human, and Purrsons do not reject their humanity by encompassing our cat-like qualities. We intensify it.
How Can We Go Back? Doesn’t forgiveness involve repair? Where can we go to trace exactly what went wrong?
Do you Dream of Home? Often we dream of a home that no longer exists, or never existed. “Home” represents the state of psychic absolution where all mistakes are forgiven and forgotten.
Purrsons Create the Future – We must commit to the ultimate compassion that we are all in this together. Jesus suggests that understanding doesn’t arrive until we learn to be the “forgivers”. Obviously, this means we must learn – somehow – to forgive ourselves.
Purrsons Create Heaven – Such forgiveness helps us achieve the state of spiritual lightness that allows a Purrson to float through time, history, even the multiverse.
Purrsons Are at Home in the World – What’s your “dream home”? A Purrson’s training emphasizes understanding and managing the fragility of the human body and the objective world, and accepting our healing and unifying mandate. Once we have scoped out the terrain and the inhabitants, Purrsons are at “home” anywhere.
Purrsons are About Justice – But not the kind that leaves more brokenness behind. Purrsons achievements and physical selves display the triumph of thought, will and love.
What Does It Mean to “Start Over”? – We don’t wish to be free of “consequences”. We want to learn and grow from our mistakes but not be humiliated and punished for them. Pretending consequences didn’t happen doesn’t free us. Seeing our mistakes as moves in a dance we are all contributing to frees us from painful rumination and helps escape and explain the prison of blame. “I did this because you …” Cats live in the Now. Human interactions are a tar-pit in which we trap and tar ourselves. We realize we need to forgive every chain in the event pattern if we are ever to have any peace.
It’s All About You – Robert Frost defines “home” as a place where, when you show up, they have to take you in. Defining “they” defines your group, your original home. Philosophy may provide an answer. Buddhists see history as a circle, Christians as a spiral. The question for Christians is, which direction is the spiral headed and do we have time to learn what we need to know before there’s a cataclysm? Can you define the mess we’re in and intuit your behavioral contribution? Is it possible to detach from the mess? In what group – or even in what “moment” can you detach from the mess?
Purrsons’ Danger – We can’t afford to get mixed up about right and wrong. “By their fruits shall you know them.” Think it through. One avenue leads to health, dignity and growth; the other leads in the opposite direction. Don’t make the mistake of “fundamental attribution error”. The threat is NOT coming from inside the house. Martin Luther King Jr. made the wise comment that our specific brand of capitalism tends toward is “socialism for the rich and rugged individualism for the rest of us.” It certainly suits corporations to lecture their employees on building a better world without incorporating any of those ideas into the bigger picture, where we personally have no control while they demand absolute freedom to do whatever whimsy directs.
What Is the Bigger Picture? Health and safety for all living things to achieve their growth potential as part of a harmonious, non-exploitative whole. It is key that our resistance – which is necessary and life-giving – not embitter us.
Forgiveness Is Our Armor – Forgiveness doesn’t require ignoring the past or accepting bad behavior. It’s part of an interaction where forgiveness is a request, not a demand. Usually there is a recognition of fault or an expression of remorse: “I’ll never do that again!” When the requesting party instead seeks permission for the suffering to continue, “I can’t change – that’s the way I am” — that’ a different request. “Home” is not re-created that way. Hell is. Your opportunity is to point this out – if necessary, (because of safety) only to yourself. “If I’m not willing to try giving up my participation in this suffering because I think I’m not able to, then this pattern will continually get worse.” Time to construct a better – more intelligent map.
Models & Mentors – “It’s not an easy journey to get to a place where you forgive people. But it’s a powerful place, because it frees you” – Tyler Perry
“The practice of forgiveness is our most important contribution to the healing of the world”
– Marianne Williamson
“The weak can’t forgive. Forgiveness is an attribute of the strong” – Mahatma Gandhi
“To forgive one another, we must understand one another” – Emma Goldman
“Forgiveness does not exonerate the perpetrator. It liberates the victim. It’s a gift you give yourself” – T.D. Jakes
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Purrsiflage – Welcome to Your Daily Cat Zen with Alysse Aallyn
Feb 21
When You Wake Up This Morning – You realize, the future weighs on you. Will you be found wanting?
This is a Message from the Multiverse – these oppressive anxieties match with universal preoccupations. The planets slow when we don’t acknowledge their power. Let’s make friends with our anxieties. Uncertainly beleaguers us. Is there a way to divine the future?
Consult Your Dreams. The Number One question people have about dreams is, Are they prophetic? And the answer is of course YES. We KNOW the “truth’. We fear the truth. We don’t want to face the truth. We tremble at the continuing “losses” of age because the accretions are so hard to see. But our dreams – and the collective unconscious – KNOW what is going on. We are weaving straw into gold on a daily basis, transmuting the physical into the spiritual.
Dreams are also Art, and art – especially good art – is as forcefully mysterious, meaningful and evocative as any living thing. It changes as you change. It changes depending on how you look at it.
If Purrsons Need Truth. Purrsons Must Accept Revelation – Dreams tell us when to be afraid. Dreams warn when something is missing. Dreams uncover all the secrets you have been keeping from yourself.
The First Obligation : Purrsons Accept is that the truth will set you free. The second, is that although it can be terrifying, the truth is necessary. Purrsons spurn the hiding, lying, misrepresentation, that substitutes for truth.
Purrsons Can Handle the Truth – We are human, we are imperfect, and we need each other. Humans need governance and law to regulate our natural blindness and selfishness (which some would call original sin) into peaceful accord. The truth also is also that humans who lust only for power will eternally angle to get themselves into positions of control, exclusion and punishment. These impulses must be identified and weeded out and it is courageous, difficult, and really unwelcome work, because we Purrsons, we loving, generous Purrsons also have our own lives to live.
Purrson Danger – Our dreams notify us when one of these lethal persons is in our midst. Our maps & models offer a variety of plans for confrontation and escape, and a recipe for courage. At the present time, the Lethal Persons are banding together and hoarding weapons to give themselves even more guarantees for power and opportunities to welcome our despair.
Purrson Promise – Jesus said evil will not win. The challenge is to explore what ELSE he said, indeed, what is the message of all the great teachers? People who tell you to hate one another and go to war with one another are agents of evil. The first challenge is to create peace in our own hearts, peace in our own lives, peace in our own homes, and then start developing compassion for those who are not so lucky.
When Brutal Tactics and Empty Promises are Exposed as family destroyers, peace destroyers and community destroyers, we see clearly that efforts to spread and share despair come from an innate desire to surmount despair, but also that this has never worked and is not working. It allows the torturer (and the tortured) only the briefest respites. Only when the goal of increasing world suffering is finally given up can we welcome penitents back into the communion of equality.
Models & Mentors – “We write the future moment to moment” – Pema Chodron
“The best prophets lead you up to the curtain and leave you to peer through for yourself” – Frank Herbert
“The greatest thing a human soul can accomplish in this world is to see that poetry, prophecy & religion all are one”– John Ruskin
“The best way to predict the future is to create it”– Abraham Lincoln
“Yesterday has gone, tomorrow has not come, let us begin” – Mother Teresa
Alysse Aallyn 