Alysse Aallyn

Category: #Family

  • Becoming a Goddess – the Goddess Oracle by Alysse Aallyn

    Aspiration – The Future –

    Existence Is A Spiral – Time to Make a Plan. Goddess power comes from focused desire as much as personal strength. Do you dream about the future? We know the future is real – it keeps arriving every second! But how often does it match our aspirations? Does that even matter?

    Goddesses Aspire – To aspire means to yearn for something better, to be able to imagine something better and to begin to mentally create a pathway to improvement. To eternally yearn for improvement means the ultimate can never be reached, and it is the process itself – the devotion to that process – that becomes the religion of the Goddess.

    Goddesses Plan – Nothing comes to reality without a Plan.  This is a main argument for the existence of God – a Planner of bluebells and quasars seems so real to us and the scope of the universe, its chemistry, math & physics, so orderly. Even the people who see only “chaos” don’t actually want chaos in their own lives. Is our mind greater than the universe? Clearly not. No single brain has been able to encompass the universal design – not even Einstein’s.  “Wishing” breeds helplessness and works out so seldom it usually leaves us worse off. But plans evolve, along with us, and even when plans fail, WE succeed. Edison said he hadn’t failed at anything, he simply found “ten thousand ways things don’t work.” That’s the “empiric method.” It’s called knowledge!

    Goddesses Take an Active Role – Don’t bother investing pride and honor in being “right” – with a universe this complex, NOBODY’S right. Invest instead in having a good, flexible plan that evolves along with you. Plans are adaptable – they must borrow from all disciplines.  Plans can be Art – art is what this universe IS – including the people in it. Give your Plan room to grow.

    Goddesses Create a Future Worth Having – Without this effort all our futures would fade into entropy, a constant winding down into muck, inertia and dissolution. Understanding the Goddess’s commitment to betterment means accepting our obligation to advance the lives not only of ourselves and our loved ones, but unmet and even unborn others.

    Goddess Danger –  Never forget Fundamental Attribution Error. There’s a lot of coincidence and happenstance, which is what the phrase “Being in the wrong place at the wrong time” expresses. So our plan must always be modified to deal with tragedy –the ongoing and universal tragedy of illness, war and disaster. Goddess try to avert these things, will continue learning how better to avert them -but everything isn’t up to us. There are perverse, dark forces at work that enjoy harm and destruction.  We can’t become over invested in “winning” because we can’t see or know everything.

    Goddess Faith – This is where Faith comes in. Jesus said evil will not win, and that’s good enough for me. Find your own mantra to help you stay strong and to keep working on a healthier you by designing a healthy plan and promoting people around you who can make your plan better. You will also be contributing to their plans – and that’s gratitude. And love. Win-win!

    Self-Definition is a Joy – Even though the Ultimate can never be reached by in this lifetime and is always just ahead, it gives us a concept of Paradise we can work for. This work provides the deepest pleasure and connection between persons that is achievable on this planet.

    Models & Mentors – “The future is completely open and we are writing it moment to moment” – Pema Chodron

    “The future starts today, not tomorrow” – Pope John Paul II

    “A good education is the foundation of a better tomorrow” – Elizabeth Warren

    “An uncertain future is not oppressive when Hope guides us” – Charlotte Bronte

    #Haiku: Freshness

    Each nonpareil moment

    Liquefies,

    Cascades into

    Flowing future

  • Becoming a Goddess – the Goddess Oracle by Alysse Aallyn

    Persistence – Commitment

    Goddesses Dominate Follow-Through – No map is useful unless it is verified and experienced. Ideas are dreams until they are sketched and tested.  Every effort is a time commitment, but if the idea is worthy, the time must be committed. There is no failure, only learning, on the eternal time scheme.

    Consult Your Dreams – Do you dream of rings? Tokens? Trophies? Collecting and collectibles? Antiques, graduations, pawn shops, art museums? Ceremonies? Awards? Rewards? You are longing for the symbols that consolidate desire. But desire is nothing without will. What is your conscious will? Subconscious? Unconscious? Collective conscious will? What ignites you? You are a creature of Now, a chip on the whirlwind, but you will soon manifest power over yourself and the future.

    Goddesses Are Athletes  – Nobody’s skills are very good at first. We know there’s nothing “magical’ about becoming a pro! Who said it takes 10,000  hours of practice to be good at something? Isn’t that, like 27 years? In other words, when you really want something, you’re going to have to make a major life commitment to make this possibility a part of yourself.

    Goddesses Hang In There – Being committed means you already know it will be difficult and you will have to push through. Goddesses do their best to inform themselves of the challenges ahead and to brush up all their skills, but nothing substitutes for dogged day to day stick-to-it-iveness.

    Goddess Challenge – Are you up for sacrifice? Not many people are!  You’re going to have to skip the easy, tempting treats – physical, spiritual, emotional – to satisfy the demands of your training. There’s really only one way to do this. You’re going to have to change into a person who LIKES and PREFERS the goal-driven lifestyle. It’s easier if the lifestyle’s not TOO restrictive. By that logic, you can see that it makes sense to start off slow and build – just like you would in the gym. No sense overwhelming tender muscles with weight they can’t handle!

    Goddesses Never Surrender – Retreat is only a re-framing. You wait to see a better way to reach your goal. And sometimes new information makes for a goal change. No shame, there! This is the sign of lifelong learning. Goddess are life-long learners.

    Goddess Danger  – There’s the risk that our self-control will be sabotaged.  Addiction. Getting obsessed by something that may have started off healthy, even noble. Suddenly you’re in a downward spiral.

    Admit When You Need Help. Is your obsession interfering with work? Relationships? Health?  Are friends and family intervening, starting to talk? When a commitment turns deadly – and we know even romantic relationships can do so – reach out to someone with a balanced perspective. Likely there’s a plan already developed to get you back on track without losing the gains you’ve already made.

    Goddess Opportunity – Persistence in a healthy commitment is the best path to transformation there is. You truly can become a different person, the person you always wanted to be, over time and in tiny steps. When I wanted to give up sugar, I consumed a lot of fake sugar at first, then less and less over time, until now I can’t believe I ever liked or was satisfied by that stuff – real or fake. My palate has changed, so has my health and so have I.  That doesn’t mean I don’t eat the occasional wedding cake! I enjoy my new-made self, and so can you.

    Find a Buddy on the Journey – a tried and true pathway. Use mindfulness to examine cravings, release them and calmly set yourself free. Track everything in your Goddess Journal.

    Goddesses Honor Their Contracts – Goddess make alliances and promises. Some promises conflict with each other. Some contracts we end up not wanting to fulfill but there is just no way out but through. Goddesses know how to concentrate on the future and keep trying to negotiate win-win modifications to ease everybody’s ride.

    Models & Mentors – “Thankfully, persistence is a great substitute for talent”

    – Steve Martin

    “Failure is a requisite for success. If you want to succeed, double your rate of failure” – Brian Tracey

    “Success is the willingness to work hard for twenty-two minutes on something others would give up on after thirty seconds” – Malcolm Gladwell

    “Success comes from curiosity, concentration, perseverance and self-criticism” – Albert Einstein

    #Haiku: Commitment –

    Means you don’t give up

    Just because you want to

    Grit teeth

    Point jaw

    Plunge

    On

  • Becoming a Goddess – the Goddess Oracle by Alysse Aallyn

    Passion – Courage

    It’s Time to Release Your Power. Do you dream of fantastic feats? Sports? Circuses? Meritocratic competitions? Do you fear standing up in front of the class? Your psyche yearns to muster passion, the fuel for courage. Passion propels us forward when it would be safer to hang back. Why?

    Passion Makes You a Goddess – From your youngest years, you recall that boiling inside of you. Some of us were shamed, some were praised, all of us were re-directed. It is in maturity that we begin to make sense of our passions and to see clearly that not everyone has the same ones.

    Define Your Passions – Passions evolve while you grow as a person. We are constantly re-defining the problem, as well as the Self with which we see the problem. You will “graduate” from one passion to another until you find Compassion, its highest form. This life trajectory is cause for enough for Celebration.

    Passion’s Worth Defending – Intense caring means you’re staking out ground in the universe. The desirable – justice, truth, art – whatever it is – is so important it needs advocates. You become aware that it’s under attack from people who, for personal reasons of their own, find it inconvenient. “Those who fail to stand up for something will fall for anything.”

    Passion Gives You Courage – Defending anything is extremely scary. You can expect to experience every sort of pushback. Studying these possibilities is the beginning of your education as a goddess.

    Goddesses Have the Courage of Their Passion –  Sometimes we want something concrete, but most of the time it is the adventure itself that we seek.  We long to be transformed into an athlete of endurance who can farther faster, learn more better and imagine deeper and more vibrantly.

    Fear is a Reaction, Courage is a Decision – Even if you don’t like to fight with your fists goddesses must fight with your mind, with your longing, with your desire. So much is impossible, yet humanity attempts the impossible every day, and a surprising extent of the time, we succeed. Our well-being, our future, depend upon this passion and this courage. Be as wily as a serpent and as gentle as a dove so that your power morphs to encompass the problem.

    Broken Goddess – Will your heart and your courage be broken? Many times, says the fable. But light comes in through the broken places.  You will flex and bend. You will evolve and grow. Your passions will change. You will rise above your passions. Your courage will evolve. YOU WILL FLOURISH and the beauty of your effort, of your dream, joins together with all the other glorious human resolutions and accomplishments to power the planet.

    Goddess Danger – Derailment is common. It is endemic. It is not the end. We live in a capitalistic society where some deliberately harness the passion, the courage, the imaginations of others to benefit only themselves. It is heartbreaking to put all your keenest insight into discoveries and achievements that only serve to buy baubles for billionaires. Soldiers can find themselves giving everything for Very Bad Ideas. Artists watch their best installments torched and trashed. All of us face the shock of old age – if we are lucky. You need a shock absorber to upgrade your courage.

    Goddess Opportunity – The hum of the universe provides the refreshment we need.  There is still much peace and beauty in the green places, and the eyes of children provide all the light we need. To be strong requires exercise – Push-relax, push-relax. Nutrition has the same requirement. There’s a time to eat and a time to fast and each of those spaces is holy. The less we take, the less we require, the finer tuned becomes our mechanism. The more there is to share. Share with holy people who recognize and honor the gifts of God, not those who try to inspire hate, divisiveness and violence. Naturally we have sore places – we are goddess! We all need to give and receive the magical healing of a loving touch. Let that courage be your passion.

    You Are Not Alone – Someone has your back. Find out who: among the people who love you, among historical figures, famous thinkers and contemporary philosophers. If you can’t find a group, start a group. True friends give each other courage.

    Models & Mentors – “Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen.” – Brene Brown

    “Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage” – Anais Nin

    “Be brave. Take risks. Nothing can substitute for experience.” – Paulo Coelho

    “It takes courage to become who you really are.”

    – e.e. cummings

    “Courage is contagious” – Billy Graham

    #Haiku: Devourer of Hearts

    Scaling hearts

    For final judgment:

    Soured hearts

    Desiccate;

    Passion hearts

    Burgeon

  • Goddess Becoming – the goddess oracle by Alysse Aallyn

    Nurturing – Growth

    Goddesses are Anointed to protect the growth pattern of the universe. Through our bravery, intelligence and commitment we nurture the world and make the world safe for the magic of growth. We shepherd the transformation and metamorphosis of all living things.

    Goddess Are Stewards – Anxious about climate change? Are you vegetarian or vegan? Find yourself enraged by animal abuse, factory farming and climate denial? Having nightmares about tsunamis and volcanoes? Do you see the whole of Mother Earth in your care?

    Goddesses Embrace Life – Your caterpillar is bursting its cocoon. Have you been dreaming about pets? Little wild animals? Gardening? Shepherding projects through to completion? These are Nurturing dreams. Just like a child with totemic objects you long to care for another entity and encourage it to flourish to its fullest potential. You long to protect and succor and at the same time, protect, succor and nourish the lost, frightened, wild, shy, needy parts of yourself.

    Goddess Challenge – You can stand up for your beliefs and test them.  You will make a difference. Remember the legend of the one starfish the little girl saved? She couldn’t save all the starfish, but that one she freed made all the difference. Think about karma.  Karma is your cosmic bank account. When that little girl gets to heaven and that starfish testifies, she is Good to Go.

    Goddess Danger – The only danger here is that you will forget to apply your own oxygen mask BEFORE you go seeking oxygen for everyone else! Rookie mistake!  Also, a “gathering” signal to predators everywhere that you will neglect your own needs to give to others. A moment’s thought tells you this is a zero sum game where everyone, ultimately, loses. Replenishment is key. Give a man a fish and you have one less fish. Teach someone to fish and you’ve  upgraded a human. Develop a method of fish replenishment and you’ve got a sustainable economy.

    Goddess Opportunity – As in the fishing analogy, you are being offered endless chances for Learning, Invention and Creativity. You are lighting one candle after another in a very dark world, to the benefit of everyone who comes into contact with you.

    Goddess are Entitled – To be effective, Goddesses learn the paths of growth. Goddesses become expert at detecting causes of destruction and disability. To see this, Goddess must acquire the Wisdom of the Ages, thus giving themselves the greatest benefit the universe can confer: becoming Visionaries and Old Souls who are the keepers of universal order.

    Goddess are Humble – The temptations of power are the number one cause of degradation, destruction and disablement. Goddess are constantly offered opportunities to interrupt the growth cycle and harm others. Humility keeps us sane, modesty keeps us honest and fellowship keeps us free.

    Receiving in Love, Goddess Will Be Received – Goddess are certain of their reward. When Love is the light you live by, you become a conduit for intergenerational, even interplanetary Love. Your faith ennobles you.  The love of a child for trustworthy parents is the model Jesus set forth for our relationship to God.

    Models & Mentors – “The only limitation to our realization of tomorrow are the doubts of today” – Franklin Delano Roosevelt

    “A tiny change today brings a dramatically different tomorrow” – Richard Bach

    “Nothing is impossible. The word itself says, “I’m Possible.” – Audrey Hepburn

    “If a problem is fixable, there is no point in worrying. If a problem is not fixable, there is no point in worrying.” – The Dalai Lama

    #Haiku: Nurturing

    Loving attendant

    Blesses tender moment

    Refreshing

    Survival

  • Becoming a Goddess – the Goddess Oracle by Alysse Aallyn

    Discipline – The Bridge –

    No One Becomes a Goddess Without Discipline – Many fatally confuse discipline with punishment and avoid it until they sadly discover they’re now too debilitated to do anything. Uh oh! Don’t let this happen to you!

    Map-Making Means Map-Following – We adjust maps on the basis of experience. But we try them out first. Or we won’t know where they went wrong.  Goddesses are logical, not impulsive. Because impulses are outer-directed. Being a Goddess means being in control. Don’t apply if you don’t like being in control. Goddesses dislike the feeling of being out of control. 

    You’re Out of Control When You Don’t Know Where Impulses Are Coming From –  Lots of cues are subliminal and their directors want to keep it that way. They want you to think the desire is coming from INSIDE the house, not from their strategy room where bills are piling up. 

    You Become a Goddess by Getting to Know Yourself – YOUR ESSENTIAL SELF – that’s what makes you strong. Goddesses take the time to track the origin of their impulses down.

    1. Do I want it because I’ve done it before?
    2. Do I want it because other people are doing it?
    3. Do I want it because SOMEBODY ELSE insists?
    4. Do I want it because of advertisers & influencers?
    5. Do I need it to Join the Club?

    You’ve probably figured out Goddesses aren’t “Joiners.” 

    1. If you’re “used” to whatever it is, get “unused” to it. You’re in Goddess training, and it’s a whole new world. Relish the different feelings. If you sense you’re becoming unglued, contemplate substitutions.  You don’t need to go Cold Turkey on Pleasure, the Past, or your own physiology. What you need to do is get your body and mind acquainted with Trying New Things because of respectable scientific research says it will build you into the new person you need to be.
    2. Get loose from “the pack” right now. If you can’t, you’re not Goddess material. There’s two kinds of people, “swarmers” and “selves.” Swarmers don’t want to develop a self because it differentiates them from the pack. They want to do whatever the swarm is doing. It takes time – and can be ouchy – to develop a Self but the payoff is literally Eternal. Take the time. Or go down with the swarm if that sounds better.
    3. You’re being pressured to Follow a Course that suits Somebody Else. Let’s take a long look at this person and ask ourselves why they don’t care about our betterment, or who the hell we really are, or even anything other than their own Ego. Why are we servicing this person’s ego? We need to get AWAY from this person. They want a hostage or a slave or both.
    4. We’ve been seduced by the Virtual World!  It felt so good at the time. For a moment there it felt like maybe we found Our People. And they seemed so welcoming! Of course there is a price of admission, and you keep paying it with your denigration, not just in the service of someone’s ego, but a lot of people’s bank accounts. Figure out a way to tell these False Friends goodbye.

    From our Subconscious We Summon Rescue. In dreams sometimes it’s a hero, a fictional or historic figure or a spirit animal. Try reading folk or fairy tales right before bed. Fall asleep imagining strengthening muscles – physical, spiritual, emotional – growing inside you.

    You are Jack AND the Beanstalk! No giant can stand against you. Even the laziest, cruelest corner of the self ultimately collapses to reveal a Tiny Child yearning for effective mothering. Turns out, that’s what you were looking for all along. Time to give birth to yourself, then mother yourself.

    Discipline is the Only Path to Achieving What We Want. Nothing is achieved (or appreciated!)  without discipline, which only means conforming your behavior to a previously conceived pattern. What ideas spring up when you think about this? Is “discipline” always cruel?  Painful? Is it one of your fears? Or the map to the orderly life you long for?

    You Are Your Best Friend and Best Parent – Nothing works in your life until you learn delayed gratification and stick-to-itiveness. But first you must experiment with other patterns – some of which –depending on your upbringing – can be hellish.  So you have THAT to get past. You will definitely need to harness all your dream power to get yourself over the finish line.

    Goddesses Adapt Discipline to Enhance Thriving. But who’s doing the adapting  – the Cruel Taskmaster, the Disgusted Lover, the Generous Parent or the Permissive Saint? You contain all these (and they live in your dreams) so which will you listen to?  Who will you empower? Who do you feed?

    The Choice You Make Controls your Future. Consult appealing patterns that have worked for others and blend to taste. Realize it’s a process; a series of moments. You’re training like an athlete; every day you master new capabilities. Develop a sophisticated discernment you can trust to guide you.

    Goddesses Set Marks and Hit Them – Forming habits is easier than breaking them apart, so goddess know that preventing bad habits is the core of discipline. But bad habits sneak up on us, they will form anyway, so part of your discipline will always be turning away from something that was formerly pleasurable. Enjoy the peace that comes with each small step.

    Goddesses Know How to Keep Going – Discipline is the bridge that gets you from where you are to where you want to be. Always use a “spotter” – someone who wants the best for you – a professional who’s “been there” and who can keep you from going over the edge.

    Goddesses Celebrate Their Discipline – Self-acceptance comes from experiencing our humanity to the fullest. We are “parenting” our much-loved and respected self, the one who starts out as a toddler with no self-control whom we’re trying to keep out of the fire. Forgive yourself. And keep going.

    Make Discipline Visual – Charts, maps, graphs and lists that hearten & cheer are key to purposeful pathways. Figure out a way to picture your values. Checking off boxes and cherishing the “proof” of a successful day becomes your joy.

    Models & Mentors –  “Through self-discipline comes freedom” – Aristotle

    “Motivation gets you going, but discipline keeps you going” – John C. Maxwell

    “All success begins with self-discipline. It starts with you.” – Dwayne Johnson

    ‘Day by day – what you choose, what you think, what you do, is who you become” – Heraclitus

    #Haiku: Discipline

    Discipline is

    Choosing

    Between what you want now

    And what you want

    Most

  • Becoming a Goddess – the Goddess Oracle by Alysse Aallyn

    Resilience – Youth –

    Goddesses Bounce Back – Resilience is the province of youth, and because Goddesses live with the advantages of past, present and future all at once, they  treasure the pleasures of both maturity and resilience. 

    Dreaming About Your Childhood? Your conscious mind is “mining” your subconscious for guides to your deepest feelings now. Are you pick on a wrong path, and if so, why? Is it possible to go back and fix it?

    “You’re as Young as You Feel” is a true saying! Youthful old people are interested in everything. They are not frightened by new ideas. They don’t talk endlessly about their illnesses, complaints, how the world has gone to hell.  

    Goddesses Don’t Fear the Future. The nature of “resilience” is that you “spring back”. You can actually use mistakes as energy, to improve your map-making. Surely you’re familiar with ”resistance training.” You get better muscles that way!

    Goddess Are Battle-Tested – How can anyone feel “young” when life keeps beating you down? Goddesses experience negative reactions too – probably more so than most, since they aren’t interested in joining someone’s army or “going with the flow.”

    Goddesses Create the Flow – The way to improve your resilience is to upgrade your philosophy. Do you secretly believe that when people can no longer participate in the rat race, they should be shoveled under and it’s over? There’s an inspiring pep talk for the locker room!

    Goddesses Are Young Forever. Combine that with the far-seeing wisdom of planning and experience and you have a Superpower.

    Love and Intelligence REQUIRE Wisdom – Adopt a philosophy that gives you hope. This is easier to do around young people. Grandparents cling to grandchildren. It’s good for both of them.

    Don’t Get Stuck in a “Feedback Loop.” Don’t hang around depressing, toxic people who mouth depressing, toxic notions. In our society, aging people are shunted off onto sidings, gathered together in communities that focus on “nursing”. Depressed yet? Re-orient your mind to focus on “health.” Resilience is a requirement for healing all types of wounds.

    Goddesses Preserve the Hope of Youth – Hope is the goddess’s religion. Life will always win out, growing even against despair.

    Goddesses Preserve the Joy of Youth – Fighting difficult battles (even with oneself) means the relaxation afterwards feels extra delicious. Goddesses can play with anyone because they are still child-like. That is part of what we are fighting for.

    Goddess Opportunity – In a famous letter to Ann Landers, someone who wanted to go to medical school bewailed that they would forty years old when they got out!  Forty! Landers asked, “How old will you be if you DON’T go?” “Wise” people are those who realize HOW YOUNG THE REST OF YOU really are, who are complaining about being “too old” to do what you want to do. You have plenty of time, because ALL time is NOW. Your new mantra? “Spring back.”

    Goddesses Never Give Up – Surrendering can be a strategy. It is not giving up. There may be snow on the roof but there is plenty of fire in the fireplace. Sometimes, however, it is good to keep our fires to ourselves. Goddesses know how to bide our time, planning for extractions and disappearances.

    Models & Mentors – “Reasons for hope – our clever brains, the indomitable human spirit and above all, the commitment of young people when they’re empowered to take action” – Jane Goodall

    “We don’t even know how strong we are until we are forced to bring that hidden strength forward” – Isabel Allende

    “Success is not final, failure is not fatal, it is the courage to continue that counts’ – Winston Churchill

    “Hardships often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny”

    – C. S. Lewis

    #Haiku: Reincarnation through Books

    Multiple lives –

    Rising youth –

    Thriving age –

    Released death; re

    Peat; re

    Learn

  • Becoming a Goddess – the Goddess Oracle by Alysse Aallyn

    Memory – The Past

    Time to check your consciousness levels – How comfortable are you with the very existence, not to mention the depth, of your conscious/subconscious/

    unconscious/collective unconscious levels?

    Consciousness is your awareness of the Now.

    Subconscious are all the memories and ideas pushed out of the Now into “Later”. With effort, you can become aware of these.

    The Unconscious you are completely unaware of. It takes considerable  mining effort to get down there, but it can be done. This is where you store everything you’ve heard, everything you’ve seen, even peripherally, even without bringing into awareness at the time. The Collective Unconscious is the most controversial.  Do you believe you are a historical repository of other people’s memories, including those of whose existence you are  entirely unaware? I do.

    You Have Multiple People Blending Their Lives With Yours – Do you ruminate about past events? Are you haunted by what was done & left undone? Do you feel nostalgia for a past that never was? Do you have a favorite period in history or a fantasy universe that you wish you lived in, instead of this one?

    You are the Heroine of Your Goddess Saga – Accept your centrality in your own myth. It doesn’t matter what other people think – they are the bit players. Think of your past as a Quest Saga. What did you want? How did it change? What blocked you? What tools have you got at your command? Where do you go from here?

    Rewrite the Past – You absolutely CAN, but first you first must face its full horror and the effect on you. Generally, because we were immature, we didn’t understand what was going on, were co-opted by our persecutors and prevented from fighting back. Things are different now! The hardest thing to accept is that beloved caregivers didn’t want the “best” for us – they only wanted us to be just like them. Let’s begin bringing those levels of consciousness into symmetry.

    “I Don’t Believe in Ghosts but I Never Met a Person who Wasn’t Haunted” is a very wise saying. What haunts you exactly? Or who? Ghosts are malignant – if they weren’t they would be power spirits, fairy godmothers or guardian angels. What malignancies from your past are out to get you and how do they make themselves known? One of Freud’s contributions was to point out that people prefer their neurosis – ie imprisonment – to liberation. Why? What’s in it for them – or you?

    You Define YOU. Yes, Goddesses have scars – those are bragging rights! You have been through the wars! ‘Rewriting” the past means understanding what really happened, the limitations of those who surrounded you, and exploring your chances and choices today. Just because parents, teachers or “society” sentenced you to play a role, you can step out of it at any time. Buddhist thought is very helpful here. Buddha teaches that life itself is an illusion – a dream. It changes depending on how we think about it. In the present, inside your mind, you hold all the keys to your own liberation. Re-visit Pema Chodron’s Noble Heart and Eckhart Tolle’s Power of Now to explore how you can assume immediate control of your life and your mind and turn your past into fuel to power your growth.

    Goddesses Know Who They Are – Remember, you’ve got a purpose. You’ve got a future. You’ve thought about your past and worked out conflicts with a mentor and in your Goddess Journal.

    Goddesses Develop A Sense of History – You understand that history is a spiral, not a circle – the same things do keep coming around but in a different form. You see all around you the operation of karma.

    Choosing Evil is Choosing Chaos – and condemning yourself to death. It can’t ever work out except temporarily. You understand the battle between darkness and light and you have committed yourself firmly to The Light.

    Goddesses Are Storytellers – You emblemize the message with your life, with your words, with your body, with your very presence. You have become one link in the unbreakable chain of Eternal Perfection and you will gain eternal reward.

    Models & Mentors –  “You never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory” – Dr Seuss

    “Memory is the treasury and guardian of all things” – Cicero

    “In the end, we’ll all become stories.” – Margaret Atwood

    “Your brain forms the same neural connections and muscle memory whether you are imagining a task or actually doing it”-  Yo Yo Ma

    #Haiku: No-Fault Apology

    Atone?

    Conspire:

    Delete:

    Rewire

    My memory and

    Yours; potent

    Fire.

  • Becoming a Goddess – the Goddess Oracle by Alysse Aallyn

    Marriage – Partnership

                          Are Goddesses Alone on Their Pinnacles?– No!  Evolving your inner Goddess is discovering how to manifest and elevate your God-given attributes to timelessness. Once you have uncovered the powers of your real self, you will also see what you have been lacking and will feel the force of the natural mandate; “Go forth and be fruitful.”  Being alone is a perfectly acceptable choice, but so is coupling – forever or briefly. Not only children are a couple’s progeny but ideas, achievements, duets.

    Dreaming about weddings? Or just sex? How about romance, proposals, marriage? Ever fantasize about The One that got Away? Or do you just dream about partnership enterprises in general – gaming, sports – where an Ideal Partner/Helper’s got your back? It’s definitely more difficult to make it through life without a partner, and there are plenty of signs that successful partnership is very rewarding. Sure, we’ve got friends who come and go, sometimes special ones, but they’ve got obligations of their own. What if we had a Perfect Friend who made our Best Life their priority? What if we were not only willing to do the same for them but to promise this in public? Consider your ideal partnership contract.

    Everybody Deserves Love – We come into adulthood with strong memories of familial dependence. We are all attracted to caretaking behaviors and easily seduced by promises to read our minds and give us what we really want, even if we haven’t figured that out for ourselves. Then our hormones click in and we discover Desire. Not only for bodies, but for Persons, Lives, Individualities. Other people are a spice, other people are a medicine, other people are a distraction – everything our lives appear to be lacking. What if we could combine all these needs together in one appetizing human package?

    Goddess Challenge – We rarely ask our friends to change their lives for us. They are VERY rarely willing to do so. But a partner is someone to actively plan a life with. You get to talk through all the Wants, the Possibilities, the Fears. Heady stuff! The challenge is to know Yourself well enough to make any sort of honest statements about who you are, who you CAN be and who you want to be.

    Allies Need a Long-Term Contract – Lives are uprooted. Possessions are shared. Long term strategy results in map-merging to create a new – but more exciting – map. If you’re a giver, learn your limits. Because takers don’t have any.

    Someone Needs to Take Your Back – What if, as the great mystic Emmanuel Swedenborg suggested, each one of us is only half an angel. You need someone to cover the things you can’t cover. And if you were planning to start a goddess family, you need more than a partner, you need a spouse.

    Spouses Teach Honesty – The person who knows you best doesn’t put up with a false front. You literally force each other to get to the root of emotions and behaviors that will open up your psyches not just to each other, but to yourselves. The spouse who falls in love with you and forgives you finally allows you to fall in love with and forgive yourself.

    Staging, Experimental Life Lab and Boot Camp – We get to try out our ideas on each other. The Beloved Other is a Mirror and a Coach. The purpose of existence, the purpose of YOUR existence – suddenly becomes clear.

    Goddess Danger – A substantial number of partnerships fail even at their short-term purpose. We all know this but we keep trying. Then there are the partnerships that evolve into Something Else, a Financial, Real Estate or Caregiving unit that is very necessary but also pretty far from what we had in mind originally. Our challenge remains the same.  Is it possible to both know and be known? Can we find our Soulmate? Does such a creature exist? Is it possible to evolve with another soul to a higher plane of SuperSoul? Disappointment and betrayal are all too often the apparent outcomes.

    Goddess Opportunity – Soulmates DO exist! They DO evolve together. It’s possible to change life for another while they change, blend, merge with us. Any interaction with another requires communication, boundary testing, honesty, planning and “rules”. I put rules in quotes because a good partner keeps “transforming” the game and we keep transforming ourselves to meet it. The best way ever to honestly know yourself is to keep your conscious, subconscious and unconscious in alignment. Purposeful journaling is the best way to achieve that goal!

    Models & Mentors –  “It’s not lack of love but lack of friendship that makes for unhappy marriages” – Friedrich Nietzsche

    “What counts in making a happy marriage is not compatibility but how you deal with incompatibility” – Leo Tolstoy

    “A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short”

    – Andre Maurois

    “The secret of a happy marriage is finding the right person. You know they’re the right person if you want to be with them all the time” – Julia Child

    #Haiku: Marriage: Partnership

    Merged.

    Eyes when

    I can’t see –

    Two extra hands;

    Relay race –

    Inspiration.

  • Becoming a Goddess – the Goddess Oracle by Alysse Aallyn

    Earth – Resources

    Goddesses See the Poverty of Magnificence – Goddesses aren’t all about trappings and add-ons. Their super power is seeing through “show” to the reality underneath. You can’t fool a goddess. Goddesses understand the building blocks of existence are our natural resources – the ones we have a right to simply by being born on this planet and offered a lifetime’s growth into an eternity’s immortality.

    Do you dream of wealth? Storehouses of goodies? Digging in the earth and finding treasure? Gold at the end of the rainbow? Everyone plays with these “resource” fantasies. In Goddess Oracle, the “Earth” card represents resources because Earth is the source of everything mortal that is valuable to us. Where we are born determines the very language we will use to quantify, remember, share and ennoble our world.

    You are a Wealthy Heir – Goddesses understand and are humbled by their vast inheritance. We are all born into fabulous possibility. However, the fear of emptiness and the dread of exclusion also start immediately. Focusing on the wealth we DON’T have prevents us from identifying the resources we possess now. Goddesses respond to the pressure to “rise above”.

    Goddess Are Anointed – We are goddesses BECAUSE we recognize the sacredness of the every day. One day while swimming, sailing, sunning, soaring or dreaming WE FELT THE UNIVERSE LOVE US BACK. We became Anointed Goddesses in Her honor on that day.

    Figure Out What You’ve Got Going for You. Health? Youth? Sight? Hearing? Intelligence? Talents? Love? Education? Family? Community? Faith? Roof over head? Food on Table? Money coming in? People we can depend on? Is there a sliver of sky where we can see the stars? Is there a patch of ground where we can see the flowers?

    Mustering & Mastering Resources is Key –  “A horse! A horse! My kingdom for a horse!” says Shakespeare’s Richard III. But he doesn’t have a horse and his kingdom is lost. “A stitch in time”, etc. etc. Strategy is nothing without resources and resources are nothing if you waste them.

    Goddesses Know How To Love – It is demons who close their hearts to love. That is how we recognize them.

    Goddesses Nurture What They Love – Goddesses care for their equipment, their animals, their people and their environment.

    Goddesses Cultivate and Improve – We bring gardens where once were deserts, we bring children where life was future-less, we speak to animals and we communicate with trees.

    Goddesses Celebrate the Spirit of Life – We don’t mark joy with “getting wasted.” We nestle instead in the beautiful cradle of the universe we have helped to provide.

    Goddess Danger – There’s no question all our benefits can be improved upon. They are also subject to depredation, depreciation and degradation. It is a positive force to desire improvements, but it is dangerous to turn “wants” into rage.

    Goddess Opportunity – Often the one difference between happiness and misery is gratitude. Are you grateful for all you have been given? Do you feel lucky or fortunate in any way? To put things in perspective, lottery winners one year out are usually NOT AS HAPPY as those who have been in a serious accident one year previous!

    The Secret is Perspective. The lottery winners thought a pile of money would “solve” everything, while the accident sufferers thought everything was destroyed forever. Lottery winners learned how wrong they were about what they needed, while accident sufferers were focused on what they still had and what new caring relationships came into their lives. Begin to cultivate a practice of gratitude. It starts with a grateful “Thank You” to this astonishingly grateful universe.

    Models & Mentors – “Preserve and cherish the pale blue dot, the only home we’ve ever known.” – Carl Sagan

    “I only feel angry when I see waste, people throwing away things we could use” – Mother Teresa

    “Earth provides enough to satisfy everyone’s need but not everyone’s greed” – Mahatma Gandhi

    “The Earth has music for those who listen” – Shakespeare

    “Earth sustains us and we must sustain her”

    – Chief Dan George

    #Haiku: Delayed Gratification

    Lifetime threat dodging and

    Garden planting

    Grants pleasure

    Embracing

    Now

  • Becoming a Goddess – The Goddess Oracle by Alysse Aallyn

    22. Age – Wisdom

    Goddesses Embody Wisdom and Wisdom Is Hard-Won. Is it time to make peace with your elders?  Do you feel you require an experienced hostage negotiator to free you from an infestation of the past?  Have you been dreaming of old people? Funerals? Aging in general? Dreaming of gurus atop mountains?  Buddhas, caves, palaces of wisdom?  Or are you fixating on a specific elder who had an influence – bad or good – on your young life?

    The Goddess’ Effort Is Sacred – Failure is when you don’t try. Experience is the great teacher. Bad Judgment leads to Experience which leads to Wisdom which leads to Good Judgment.

    You Are Wiser Than You Know –– Contrast elders you admire with those you avoid. Aren’t the latter complainers who stress to everyone they meet what a bad hand life has dealt them? They complain about their health, politics, the weather, other people – whatever crosses the windscreen of their increasingly tightening minds. In their world children never call, doctors don’t help, media is lying, weather’s getting worse, food is adulterated and we are all going to hell. This person is clamoring ever more loudly for ego strokes without apparently noticing the discomfort and distaste of those around them. Rather than trying a new strategy, they step up their whingeing.

    Read the Room! Is what you want to scream at them but you realize they can no longer “learn.” This is the opposite of wisdom. This is senility. A brain is shutting down, a personality is beggared and no one wants to be around it.

    Think of an Elder you Admire. Nelson Mandela, Joe Biden, St. Joan, Desmond Tutu, The Dalai Lama, Deepak Chopra, Oprah Winfrey, Pema Chodron, the Pope? These persons are Ego-Less.  Someone who talks about others, not themselves. They authentically care for others. They discuss ideas rather than gossip and have a long memory of problems, solutions, trial and error. They keep themselves “young” in all the ways that matter. People flock to them.

    There’s an Old Cherokee Story about how each of us is born with a good wolf and a bad wolf inside of us. The one that gets stronger and takes control is the one you feed.  Your challenge is to figure out how to practice your increasing wisdom every day. Accepting your dreams and encouraging their deepening understanding is the beginning of wisdom.

    The Pursuit of Gurus is Inherently Dangerous because there are a lot of con artists out there seeking hostages and slaves. Avoid dominance/submission games and people who use any of the following interpersonal techniques:

    1. They’re never “wrong.” Nothing is ever their fault. Only they know what is fashionable, appropriate and right. You are always wrong.
    1. Circular conversations, ad hominem arguments, projection and gaslighting –  They are the gate-keepers of reason and you the thirsty aspirant who will never succeed without their help.
    1. People only capable of hierarchical –  vertical, not horizontal relationships. Someone needs to be “on top.” It will never be “your turn.” You will always be dragooned into doing their bidding.
    1. Blanket statements and generalizations – Thick layers of protective blather will keep you from getting through to discuss any task at hand.
    1. Misrepresenting your thoughts and feelings to the point of absurdity – You are a poorly educated simplistic thinker and a deficient reasoner and they are in on all the secrets and are  the source of all wisdom. There’s no “cooperating” with these people.
    1. Nitpicking and moving the goal posts – Different rules for everyone and every day.
    1. Changing the subject to evade accountability – “This is your fault – You shouldn’t have given me that job to begin with.”
    1. Covert and overt threats –“If people know what you REALLY are, say, do, no one would be your friend.”
    1. Name-calling , stigmatizing, limiting– “Identity politics.” “You are a ___” Fill in the blank. And that’s all you’ll ever be in this guy’s eyes.
    1. Destructive conditioning – Abuse, frustration and disrespect are this person’s calling cards but it’s never their fault that they live in a cloud of toxicity. They want you in there, too. Decline.
    1. Smear campaigns and stalking – Endless power struggles. “Office politics.” Need I say more?
    1. Playing the Martyr – “Everyone’s lying about me. I have so many enemies!”
    1. Demands Immediate Unthinking Fealty – When someone stresses the fact that they are a “nice guy” or girl, that you should “trust them” right away or emphasizes their credibility without any provocation from you whatsoever, WALK AWAY.
    1. Baits and badgers you – testing your limits. Can you be made to lose control?
    1. Boundary testing –  “You owe me”  – “You’re committed” – “Everyone does it” to drag you into unethical enterprise
    1. Aggressive jabs disguised as jokes – “Can’t you laugh about yourself? Everyone else is laughing.”
    1. Condescending sarcasm and patronizing tone – Know-It-Alls

    No One Using the Above Techniques has your best interests at heart.

    Our Scars Define Beauty -You can see this struggle is all about Control. Goddesses avoid those who seek to control or dominate. Revered Elders such as those mentioned above would not do that. Treat others with respect and expect respect yourself.

    Goddesses Know Their Allies – Goddess don’t fear becoming experienced. We seek it. People come and go, but the right ones stay. Time shows you the difference between the strength and honor of another’s heart. Goddesses share their knowledge without fear of competition. We know we are unreproduceable.

    Goddesses Can Read the Signs – If you don’t believe in yourself, no one else will. Train yourself to trust yourself. You can read and write maps, you can interpret Nature, you see Red Flags before they wave for others.

    Goddesses Earn Peace – Random acts of kindness make everyone feel better. Goddess’ “can do” attitude spreads peace. Goddess welcome other peaceful spirits. We challenge the troubled to take their drama elsewhere.

    Models & Mentors – “You can’t control the wind but you can learn to adjust your sails.” – Jimmy Dean

    “It always seems impossible till it’s done.” – Nelson Mandela

    “Knowledge speaks but wisdom listens” – Jimi Hendrix

    “I am thankful to those who said No. Because of them, I did it myself.”

    – Albert Einstein

    “Experience is not what happens to you, but what you do with what happens to you.” – Aldous Huxley

    “It is never too late to be who you might have been” – George Eliot

    ‘Wisdom is the journey no one can take for us” – Marcel Proust

    #Haiku: Noble Heart

    Sit

    In peace;

    Regroup;

    Regift

    The rubble of your life

    Belongs to All.