Alysse Aallyn

Category: #Family

  • #DreamTherapy – Dream Journaling with Alysse Aallyn

    Persistence – Commitment – Are you dreaming of rings? Tokens? Trophies? Collecting and collectibles? Antiques, graduations, pawn shops, art museums? You are longing for a “commitment ceremony” or some tangible symbol to articulate and consolidate an inchoate desire. Desire is nothing without will. You are a creature of Now, a chip on the whirlwind, but you desire power over yourself and the future.

    You Were Formed to be An Athlete – Naturally your skills aren’t very good at first. But one thing we do scientifically know is that there’s nothing magical about becoming a pro! Who said it takes 10,000 hours of practice to be good at something? Isn’t that, like 27 years? In other words, when you really want anything, you’re going to have to make a major life commitment to make this possibility a part of yourself.

    Challenge – Are you up for the sacrifice? Not many people are! You’re going to have to skip the easy, tempting treats – physical, spiritual, emotional – to satisfy the demands of your training. There’s really only one way to do this. You’re going to have to change into a person who LIKES and PREFERS this lifestyle. It’s easier if the lifestyle’s not TOO restrictive. By that logic, you can see that it makes sense to start off slow and build – just like you do in the gym. No sense overwhelming muscles with weight they can’t handle!

    Danger – The danger’s all around us and it’s called Addiction. Somebody gets obsessed with a pattern that started off healthy. Suddenly you’re in an obsessive spiral you can’t get out of. Admit it when you need help. Is this destructive pattern interfering with work? Relationships? Health? Are friends and family intervening, grumbling or starting to talk? When a commitment turns deadly – and we know even romantic relationships can do so – reach out to someone you trust for a balanced perspective. Likely there’s a plan already developed to get you back on track without losing the gains you’ve already made.

    Opportunity – Persistence in a healthy commitment is the best path to transformation there is. You truly can become a different person, the person you always wanted to be, over time and in tiny steps. When I wanted to give up sugar, I consumed a lot of fake sugar at first, then less and less over time, until now I can’t believe I ever liked or was satisfied by that stuff. My palate has changed, so has my health and so have I. That doesn’t mean I don’t eat wedding cake! I enjoy my newfound self, and you can have that self-rewarding pleasure too. Find a buddy on the journey – a tried and true pathway. Open your Dream Journal. Use mindfulness to examine cravings, release them and calmly set yourself free.

    Models & Mentors – “Thankfully, persistence is a great substitute for talent”
    – Steve Martin

    “Failure is a requisite for success. If you want to succeed, double your rate of failure” – Brian Tracey

    “Success is the willingness to work hard for twenty-two minutes on something others would give up on after thirty seconds” – Malcolm Gladwell

    “Success comes from curiosity, concentration, perseverance and self-criticism” – Albert Einstein

    Mantra – “I can”

    Meditation –

    #Haiku: The Danger of Cellular Negativity

    Death is a
    Choice.
    Creation’s fierce template
    Commits to life:
    Shared,
    Grown
    Spread.

  • #DreamTherapy – Dream Journaling with Alysse Aallyn

    Nurturing – Stewardship – Dreaming about pets? Comforting little wild animals? Gardening? These are Nurturing dreams. Like a child with a doll you long to care to another being and help it achieve its fullest potential. You long to protect it and succor it and at the same time, protect, succor and nourish the lost, frightened, wild, shy, needy parts of yourself.

    You Are A Steward – Dreaming about climate change? Overwhelmed by horrendous weather conditions such as tornados and hurricanes? Are you vegetarian or vegan? Enraged by animal abuse, factory farming and climate denial? Do you fear tsunamis and volcanoes? Do you see the whole of Mother Earth in your care?

    Challenge – You can stand up for your beliefs and test them. You will make a difference. Remember the legend of the one starfish the little girl saved? She couldn’t save all the starfish, but that one she saved was grateful. Remember karma? Karma is your universal bank account. When that little girl gets to heaven and it turns out the starfish are in charge, she is Good to Go.

    Danger – The only danger here is that you will forget to apply your own oxygen mask BEFORE you find oxygen for everyone else! Rookie mistake! Also a signal to predators everywhere that you will neglect your own needs to give to others. A moment’s thought tells you this is a zero sum game where everyone, ultimately loses. Replenishment is key. Give a man a fish and you have one less fish. Teach a man to fish and you’ve upgraded a human. Develop a method of fish replenishment and you’ve got a sustainable economy.

    Opportunity – As with the fishing analogy, this offers an endless chance for Learning, Invention and Creativity. You are lighting one candle after another in a very dark world, and benefiting everyone who come into contact with you. Open your Dream Journal. Dream.

    Models & Mentors – “The only limitation to our realization of tomorrow are the doubts of today” – Franklin Delano Roosevelt

    “A tiny change today brings a dramatically different tomorrow” – Richard Bach

    “Nothing is impossible. The word itself says, “I’m Possible.” – Audrey Hepburn

    “If a problem is fixable, there is no point in worrying. If a problem is not fixable, there is no point in worrying.” – The Dalai Lama

    Mantra – “I give”

    Meditation –

    #Haiku: Secret Garden

    Empiricism
    Riots;
    Growth
    Overmasters
    Lucky
    Curator

  • #DreamTherapy – Dream Journaling with Alysse Aallyn

    Chrysalis – Potential – Dreams tell us what COULD be. In the multiverse, physicists assure, everything is happening somewhere. Potential alerts us to the possibilities. The stick-colored, dead-seeming chrysalis contains nature’s most beautiful sprite, the butterfly. The invisibility of potential may discourage by daylight, but at night, the chrysalis opens and we are free.

    You Contain Multitudes – Whitman describes us, as well as himself. Be aware of the “restrictions” others eagerly place on you. Question them. Be the first in your family to — do something. Because you ARE the first in your family to be you. You are unique. In day dreams and night dreams, on conscious and unconscious levels, you explore all the odds and contingencies. Open your Dream Journal. Contact your Dream Buddies. Tell the ways.

    Challenge – Other people – often loved, needed and admired – keep trying to pin us down. They want to get to “know” us so they can “rely” on our sameness. They want us to stay where they left us, like a coat or umbrella. We will often place limits on ourselves, just to be accepted. But you are unrestrained in your dreaming imagination. Think of Max, who voyaged overnight to play with the Wild Things until he finally decided he wanted to return to his safe, warm, familiar bed. Every action you perform, every thought you think, suggests and then creates its opposite or “shadow” as Jung would say. Free yourself to consider all the alternatives. Then fly above them.

    Danger – Can we get lost? Will we become Peter Pan who was replaced and now can never come home? Fear is a valid reaction when danger is about. But danger is triggered by lack of escape. You are learning to deliberately keep all your psychic escape hatches open.

    Opportunity – Is there a fantasy that you cherish? Harry Potter, Narnia or Marvel? Expand it outwards. Insert yourself. So many discoveries have been made from and through fantasy fan fiction they are too numerous to mention here. But allowing yourself to dream is key. Imagine you are outfitting your inner butterfly. What colors? How about all colors, constantly changing?

    Models & Mentors – “The only person you are destined to be is the person you decide to become” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

    “Consult not your fears but your hopes and dreams. Think not about your frustrations but your potential. Concern yourself not with what you tried and failed but with what it is still possible for you to do.” – Pope John XXIII

    “Our essential nature is one of pure potentiality”
    – Deepak Chopra

    “Accept whatever comes and meet it with the best you have to give”

    – Eleanor Roosevelt

    Mantra – “I am many”

    Meditation –

    #Haiku: Chrysalis – Potential

    Unrecognizable:
    Disguised –
    Prototype
    Unbeing
    Becomes
    You

  • #DreamTherapy – Dream Journaling with Alysse Aallyn

    The Waterfall – Change – Do you dream of water? Ocean travel? When was the last time you had a falling dream? Or a drowning dream? “Dropping stomach” dreams that make us gasp signal a desire for (and fear of) change.

      You Resist Stagnancy – As your conscious mind seeks stasis, which it interprets as “security”, your subconscious rebels. It demands change! In the meanwhile, your subconscious IS changing, evolving fiercely along with the drama playing out in the entropical human race. Tune in!

      Behind the Wish Lies the Fear – Do you know how to swim? Take swimming classes – many adults do if only to brush up on their skills. Swimming is an essential pre-birth memory from safety inside the mother. Floating is an excellent way to release trapped memories and confront fears. Your mantra: “I am brave.”

      Challenge – Always shape your change towards growth by asking, is this making me a better person, or a more fearful person? More competent, less dependent, more unique, less compliant, more imaginative, less angry, more joyous, less envious. Evolve with me! Streamline! Let’s surf! Surfers celebrate every different wave.

      Danger – Fundamental attribution error says we blame ourselves for cultural systems and world conditions over which we have no control. Check your guilt/anxiety levels. If they are raging, is there anything you can do to ameliorate the causative circumstances? Open your Dream Journal. Being without guilt or anxiety is NOT the goal – that would describe a sociopath! But being crippled by guilt OR anxiety when there’s nothing you can do about it is disabling. And we’re in the empowerment department here.

      Opportunity – Change is scary but it is inevitable. If you’re not managing your own evolution, you’re headed downhill. What are the attributes you admire? Spoiler alert – not complaining and helplessness! Develop a picture of yourself as a wise being emitting light. Nurture calm, contentment, gratitude – in the midst of a thirst for new ideas and experiences to add to your expanding galaxy of knowledge.

      Models & Mentors – “Progress is impossible without change”
      – George Bernard Shaw

      “Change is the law of life. Those who look only to past and present are certain to miss the future.” – John F. Kennedy

      “Change does not roll in on the wheels of inevitability but comes after continuous struggle.” – Martin Luther King

      “It is not the strongest of our species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the ones most responsive to change” – Charles Darwin

      Mantra – “I surf”

      Meditation –

      #Haiku: Unwanting

      Curbing desire
      Won’t work;
      Evolving desire will.
      Admit it:
      We’ve changed

    1. #DreamTherapy – Dream Journaling with Alysse Aallyn

      The Bridge – Discipline – Is “discipline” cruel? Is it one of your fears? Or is an orderly life what you long for but you’ve been told, because of your personality it’s completely out of reach? Do you have dreams of endless punishments at some infernal school?


      Discipline only means conforming to a plan – our map, remember? Get out your Dream Journal and study your plan, your list of wants and fears. Are you a harsh taskmaster to yourself? Why?


      Plans can be flexible – maps less so – but they are subject to change. By us. Because we’re in control.


      Nothing is achieved without discipline, which only means conforming your behavior to a previously conceived pattern but what does it mean to you? Your dreams will tell you.


      You Are Your Best Friend and Best Parent – No plan “works” in your life until you learn to practice delayed gratification and stick-to-itiveness. But first you need to feel your way through other patterns – bubbling up from the collective unconscious – some of which so hellish so you have to struggle with the source of those memories. You will need to disown them to give birth to your true self, whom you can lovingly mother. Harness your dream power to get yourself over the finish line.

        Challenge – do you treat others differently from the way you treat yourself? More or less generously? Why? We need to adapt our discipline constantly to enhance our thriving. But who’s doing the adapting – the Cruel Taskmaster, the Disgusted Lover or the Adoring, Generous Parent or the Permissive Saint? You contain all these (and they live in your dreams) , but who are you going to listen to? Who will you feed? Who has more power? Your choice controls your future. Consult appealing patterns that have worked for others and blend to taste. Develop a loving faith, and a sophisticated taste you can trust to guide you.

        Danger – Uh oh! You’ve fatally confused “discipline” with “punishment” and now are too debilitated to escape. Who said growth has to hurt?

        Opportunity – From our dreams we must summon a rescuer. Naturally that rescuer is OUR OWN TRUE SELF. In dreams sometimes it’s a hero, a fictional or historic figure or a spirit animal. Do you have a hero myth? Jack and the Beanstalk? Frozen? Joan of Arc? Read especially potent folk tales right before bed. Fall asleep imagining strengthened muscles – physical, spiritual, emotional – growing inside you. You are Jack AND the beanstalk! No giant can stand against you. Even the laziest, cruelest corner of the ego collapses to reveal itself as a Tiny Child yearning for effective mothering. We get to be the loving mother to ourselves.

        Models & Mentors – “Through self-discipline comes freedom” – Aristotle

        “Motivation gets you going, but discipline keeps you going” – John C. Maxwell

        “All success begins with self-discipline. It starts with you.” – Dwayne Johnson

        ‘Day by day – what you choose, what you think, what you do, is who you become” – Heraclitus

        Mantra – “I grow”

        Meditation –

        #Haiku: The Bridge

        Stuck:
        I’m here and you’re there.
        I’ll meet you
        Across an
        Ocean’s loneliness.

      1. #DreamTherapy – Dream Journaling with Alysse Aallyn

        Youth – Resilience – Dreaming a lot about your childhood? Your conscious mind is “mining” your subconscious for guides to the way you feel now. Did you pick the wrong path, and if so, why? Can you summon the effort to go back and fix it?

          “You’re as young as you feel” is a true saying! Ever met a “young” seeming old person? They are interested in everything. They are not frightened by new ideas. They don’t talk endlessly about their illnesses, complaints, how the world has gone to hell. They look forward to the future. The nature of “resilience” is that you “spring back”. You can actually use mistakes as energy, to improve your map-making. Surely you’re familiar with ”resistance training.” You get better muscles that way!

          Challenge – Open up your Dream Journal. How can we feel young when life keeps beating you down? The way to improve your resilience is to improve your philosophy. Do you believe people get old, they can no longer participate in the rat race, are shoveled under and it’s over? There’s a locker room inspiring pep talk. Don’t love and intelligence both REQUIRE wisdom? Adopt a philosophy that gives you hope. This is easier to do around young people. Grandparents cling to grandchildren. It’s good for both of them.

          Danger – Don’t get stuck in a “feedback loop.” Don’t hang around depressing, toxic people who mouth depressing, toxic notions. In our society old people are shunted off onto sidings, gathered together in communities that focus on “nursing”. Depressed yet? Re-orient your mind to focus on “health.” Resilience is a requirement for wounds of all types to heal.

          Opportunity – In a famous letter to Ann Landers, someone who wanted to go to medical school bewailed that they would forty years old when they got out! Forty! Landers asked, “How old will you be if you DON’T go?” Wise people all realize HOW YOUNG THE REST OF YOU really are, who are complaining about being “too old” to do what you want to do. You have plenty of time, because ALL time is NOW. Your new philosophy? “Spring back.”

          Models & Mentors – “Reasons for hope – our clever brains, the indomitable human spirit and above all, the commitment of young people when they’re empowered to take action” – Jane Goodall

          “We don’t even know how strong we are until we are forced to bring that hidden strength forward” – Isabel Allende

          “Success is not final, failure is not fatal, it is the courage to continue that counts’ – Winston Churchill

          “Hardships often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny”
          – C. S. Lewis

          Mantra – “My World Is New”

          Meditation –

          #Haiku: Resilience

          Fresh pink skin blooms
          Scarless
          Free;
          Regenerated fresh
          Every
          Morning

        1. #DreamTherapy – Dream Journaling with Alysse Aallyn

          Symbiosis – Interdependence – you can’t make it on your own. We are social beings, we need other people, all those characters peopling your dreams. We are DEPENDENT on them. This is such a tough thing to face that there are whole categories of people who go around insisting they “made it on their own.” They’re the only ones who believe it! They assemble a vast team, and not only that, they are dependent on teams set up by others to provide safety, water, heat, light. Visit a country where this isn’t a given and then you’ll realize what a massive enterprise is taking place around us.

            Flourish, Don’t Exploit – Symbiosis benefits everyone. If it leaves you “worse off” it’s not symbiosis, it’s exploitation. In our dreams we fear depredation, loss, failure, humiliation. We depend on the Collective Unconscious for the meaning in our lives. Our sleep world is the theatre where we rehearse our fears, making them LESS LIKELY to come true! We fear dependence because that means our “supply” can be cut off. But we also provide supply to others. What, and who? Any way we can improve the supply lines?

            Danger – Interdependence is a delicate balance, requiring sensitivity, reflection, and the capacity to change. Above all we want to avoid “Doomsday thinking” in which “since” the obvious entropy of the universe ruins all relationships eventually, so, by this reasoning, they must be ruined NOW. This “fear” completely overlooks the spiritual growth which time allows. Interdependence gives us insight and time and improved relationships – a recipe for emotional and intellectual thriving.

            Challenge – To become independent (i.e. free) we have to face the fact of our dependence on others and their dependence on us. Get out your Dream journal. Consult your Dream Buddies. How symbiotic are your relationships? Is there harm involved? Depredation? Abuse? Don’t make me repeat the 17 warning signs of an abusive relationship. It’s unequal, never a two-way street. Belittling? Baiting? Shaming? You should be able to recognize these techniques NOW so you can strategize a way out! If you DON’T recognize them there’s a very good chance your dreams DO. Pay attention to them. It’s possible to be abused by relationships with people we’ve never met – banks – corporations – landlords – employers – if this isn’t an equally mutual beneficial relationship we’re OUTTA HERE. (This is why authoritarians fear Cancel Culture. It reduces their depredation pool.) Yes you CAN find and foster relationships that are more beneficial.

            Opportunity – Nobody and nothing’s perfect and nobody wants that –ugh! Perfection is about stasis which is DEATH. WE are all about change, growth, evolution, becoming. Wisdom! Sharing joy! A back and forth process involving OTHER PEOPLE. Let’s work on our confidence. Let’s work on our spiritual muscle. Let’s work on our mapping abilities so we have a good idea where we’re headed. Expect surprises and greet them when they show up: “Hello old friend.”

            Models & Mentors – “Symbiotic relationship in nature teaches us cooperation and shows that we are all connected” – Sanchita Pandey

            “You are in a dynamic relationship with the universe because your existence is win-win” – Teal Swan

            ‘Symbiosis is a much higher reflection of intelligent life” – Frederick Lenz

            “Love is a positive, symbiotic, reciprocal flow between two or more entities”
            – Inga Muscio

            Mantra – “Let’s play”

            Meditation –

            #Haiku: Symbiosis = Interdependence

            I think with
            Your memory I
            Stretch with
            Your muscles
            Grasp with
            Dead hands

          1. #DreamTherapy – Dream Journaling with Alysse Aallyn

            Flight – Ingenuity – Everyone has flying dreams! In those moments, we experience absolute power and potential, which is exactly what these dreams are about. We often wake from them with a feeling of disappointed sadness: “You mean I’m earth-bound? I want to go back!’

              You are a Transformer – Your mind is a potent tool that not only solves “problems”, it transfigures them. The problem dissolves as the potential for revolution becomes clear. DreamTherapy asks us to “rise above” the problem and survey it from another angle. We soar over the difficulty! Our most powerful tool is the question: “What if?”

              Challenge – Ingenuity sees connections where others see difficulties. Ingenuity relaxes with “tinkering.” Let’s become expert at cultivating the alpha brain waves to achieve “flow” – a condition of subconscious harmony where ideas spring up and potentialities thrive. “Flow” is where true freedom resides.

              Danger – Can you “waste” your life daydreaming? I’m one of those people who says “No”! But the mind is full of traps – cultural, educational and emotional – to keep us on a sabotaging treadmill of circular reasoning that gets us nowhere. Usually you can tell this is happening when you hear a carping, intrusive “voice”: “You shouldn’t be doing this” “You’re an idiot” “That won’t work.” That’s not you talking, it’s the “Hidden Enemy” out to undermine your efforts to focus and connect. Without the confidence to dream, think and experiment you can’t become your best self.

              Opportunity – We need a supportive environment where voices saying, “You can’t do it” are drowned out by empowering affirmations. Some people use music to achieve this state, others use meditation. If the voices persist, you will have to focus on THAT as the problem and tackle them directly with a conscious daily practice of studying where they came from. Open your Dream Journal. Who are “they”? What happened to those people? Why did they attack you? Now that you are no longer a child you can usually see them for the tiny, disappointed, bitter little minds they were. These are not forces to emulate. Deliberately let them go. “I am sorry for you, but you have no power over me”.

              Models & Mentors – “No problem of human making is too great to be overcome by human ingenuity, human energy and the untiring hope of the human spirit”
              – Bill Clinton

              “Mathematical reasoning is the exercise of inspiration and ingenuity”

              – Alan Turing

              “You cannot solve a problem with the same mind that created it”

              – Albert Einstein

              “Those who do not think outside the box are easily contained”

              – Nicolas Manetta

              Mantra – “I can fly”

              Meditation –

              #Haiku: Flight

              Doubt molts aloft
              Fresh freedoms
              Foreseen; fear
              Energized –
              Wings flexed
              Jump off

            1. #DreamTherapy – Dream Journaling with Alysse Aallyn

              Memory – the Past – Do you dream frequently of past events? Are they different – worse or better – than what you remember actually happening? Do you feel nostalgia for a past that never was? Do you have a favorite period in history or fantasy universe that you wish you lived in, instead of this one?

                You are the Hero of Your Saga – Open your Dream Journal and start writing. Accept your centrality in your own myth. It doesn’t matter what other people think – they are the bit players. Think of your past as a Quest Saga. What did you want? How did it change? What blocked you? What tools have you got at your command? Where do you go from here?

                Challenge – You absolutely CAN rewrite the past, but first you first must face its full horror. Generally, because we were children, we didn’t know what was going on, were co-opted by our persecutors and prevented from fighting back. Things are different now! The hardest thing to accept is that beloved caregivers didn’t want the best for us – they wanted us to be just like them.

                Danger – “I don’t believe in ghosts but I never met a person who wasn’t haunted” is a very wise saying. What haunts you? Or who? Ghosts are malignant – if they weren’t they would be power spirits, fairy godmothers or guardian angels. What malignancies from your past are out to get you and how do they make themselves known? One of Freud’s contributions was to point out that people prefer their neurosis – ie imprisonment – to liberation. Why? What’s in it for you?

                Opportunity – You became YOU. Yes, you have scars – these are bragging rights! You have been through the wars! ‘Rewriting” the past means understanding what really happened, the limitations of those who surrounded you, and exploring your chances and choices today. Just because parents, teachers or “society” sentenced you to play a role, you can step out of it at any time. Buddhist thought is very helpful here. Buddha teaches that life itself is an illusion – a dream. It changes depending on how we think about it. In the present, inside your mind, you hold all the keys to your own liberation. Re-visit Pema Chodron’s Noble Heart and Eckhart Tolle’s Power of Now to explore how you can assume immediate control of your life and your mind and turn your past into fuel to power your growth.

                Models & Mentors – “You never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory” – Dr Seuss

                “Nothing has happened until it’s written down” – Virginia Woolf

                “Memory is the treasury and guardian of all things” – Cicero

                “In the end, we’ll all become stories.” – Margaret Atwood

                “Your brain forms the same neural connections and muscle memory whether you are imagining a task or actually doing it”- Yo Yo Ma

                Mantra – “I remember”

                Meditation –

                #Haiku: Memory – Your Past Is Never Where You Left It

                Block Past subsuming
                Present – overwhelming
                Future
                Short circuit
                Change

              1. #DreamTherapy – Dream Journaling with Alysse Aallyn

                Cooperation – Division of Labor – Do you dream of Getting Help? You are engaged on any difficult task and Someone Else shows up to assist? Do you dream of villages and businesses running perfectly – everyone setting about their Daily Chores like the mailman, the crossing guard, the fruit seller, the fireman like characters in a children’s book? Looks like a Perfect World, doesn’t it?

                  You Don’t Have to Do Everything – It’s an enormous relief when you first realize you’re not responsible for everything. Children are very solipsistic thinkers – they “assume” magical responsibility not just for parental divorce but for World Wars. But we are tiny cogs in a huge enterprise. Every task we assume is part of something much bigger. We are surrounded by helpers, if we could only see it.

                  Challenge – In life we have Group Tasks and Individual Tasks. The challenge is to figure out which is which. Social pressure tends to ‘erase” our individual tasks because the daily round is so overwhelming. Yet we cling to our Personal Goals of maturation, Mastery, Learning, Finding Meaning & Bliss, Growing Love. Cooperation surrounds us in all these challenges if we could only see it.


                  Danger – Our capitalist society is based on competition and scarcity. Politics wants us seeing others as competitors for scarce resources, instead of willing hands helping us build. No wonder Main Street is falling into disrepair, volunteer activities go begging and community resources are depleted! Without a sense of community we can’t see each other as anything but rivals. When looking for co-operators it is wise to re-visit the warnings of Wisdom seekers and avoid people who aren’t seeking helpers but hostages:

                  1. Projection – There’ “right” and “wrong” and they’re never “wrong.” Nothing is ever their fault.
                  2. Nonsensical conversations from hell – Arguers. Word salad, circular conversations, ad hominem arguments, projection and gaslighting to make them the gate-keepers of reason and you the thirsty aspirant. Prople only capable of vertical, not horizontal relationships. Someone needs to be “on top.”
                  3. Blanket statements and generalizations – Thick layers of protective blather will keep you from getting through to discuss any task at hand.
                  4. Misrepresenting your thoughts and feelings to the point of absurdity – You are a simplistic thinker and a deficient reasoner and they are the source of all wisdom. No cooperating with these people.
                  5. Nitpicking and moving the goal posts – Different rules for everyone and every day.
                  6. Changing the subject to evade accountability – “You shouldn’t have given me that job to begin with.”
                  7. Covert and overt threats –“If people know what you REALLY are, say, do, no one would be your friend.”
                  8. Name-calling – “Identity politics.” “You are a _” Fill in the blank. And that’s all you’ll ever be in this guy’s eyes.
                  9. Destructive conditioning – Abuse, frustration and disrespect are this person’s calling cards but it’s never their fault that they live in a cloud of toxicity. They want you in there, too. Decline.
                  10. Smear campaigns and stalking – “Office politics.” Need I say more?
                  11. Playing the Martyr – “I have so many enemies!”
                  12. Demands Immediate Unthinking Fealty – When someone stresses the fact that they are a “nice guy” or girl, that you should “trust them” right away or emphasizes their credibility without any provocation from you whatsoever, WALK AWAY.
                  13. Baits and badgers you – testing your limits. Can you be made to lose control?
                  14. Boundary testing – “Everyone does it” to drag you into unethical enterprise
                  15. Aggressive jabs disguised as jokes – “Can’t you laugh about yourself?”
                  16. Condescending sarcasm and patronizing tone – Know-It-Alls
                  17. Belittling, Degrading, Shaming About ANYBODY. A very good piece of advice is watch how they treat wait staff. Underlings. Anyone totally in their power or people who can do nothing for them and you’ll soon get a picture of their inner world. Stay away.

                  Opportunity – You will meet Your Best Friends Ever! This is even more important than Getting the JOB DONE! Because friends last for life and they change YOU. Reach out for advice and cooperation to all who treat others with respect. You won’t be successful ALL the time – no one is – but you will learn so much in the course of finding out How to Live In the World and Who to be.

                  Models & Mentors – “The only thing that will redeem mankind is cooperation” – Bertrand Russell

                  “Coming together is a beginning, keeping together is progress and working together is success” – Henry Ford

                  “If I have seen further, it is by standing on the shoulders of giants”

                  – Isaac Newton

                  “Alone we can do so little. Together we can do so much.” – Helen Keller

                  Mantra – “Go Team!”

                  Meditation –

                  #Haiku: Unlikely Friends

                  You explain
                  Each other –
                  Crossed perspectives:
                  Fireworks:
                  Transmute –
                  Osmosis