Alysse Aallyn

Category: #Forgiveness

  • The Language of Butterflies – Walking the Path of Attachment with Alysse Aallyn

    REGRET feeds DOUBT

      As soon as we begin refining our list in search of The One, we are filled with doubt. Fear of Missing Out dictates that even as we are talking to a Possible Soulmate our eyes search out the door to see what new person is coming in. There is a glorious book, essential to artists, called The War of Art (Steven Pressfield) which is actually about self-sabotage. In the very moments when we are trying to build something critically important to our emotional, psychic and spiritual health, a demonic voice comes out of Who Knows Where, whispering, “It’s the wrong thing and you’re doing it wrong.” According to Steven Pressfield, if you listen to this voice you will never accomplish anything, because Honest, Committed Effort is required to get your project off the ground, even if it ultimately fails. And if it ultimately fails, it will turn out to be the very project that helps you see what is Really Important, and understand What to Do Next. Choose wisely; searching for a relationship that is restorative, not exploitative, a partner who is complementary and complimentary, and push doubt aside.

      Cloverleaf


      Some roads lead nowhere;
      They’re my favorites.
      I held my breath while
      You drew my face in
      Blinding strokes
      Creamed my mouth with curling lines
      Destroyed one picture; then another
      Never let me see. You
      Left at dawn while I
      Ran in circles, calling
      Raging, spending blackened
      Nights without you,
      No blue thigh to guard
      My trusting heart while yours looks out
      To gauge the coming storm.
      Trapped in cloverleaves,
      Sentenced to school by
      Streams of angry judges –
      Balked by
       The enervating past
      Of unlived lives
      Every face I paint is yours.
      Open up the chilly ruffles
      Of my breasts
      One more time –
      To beauty; yours and mine
      Electrify your
      Eldritch spine –
       Your body so much lighter
      Than the mountain that you loved
      Better than you loved me –
       The course you learned
      Better than you learned me – so
      Overconfident that
       you’ll come back
      I float across the powdered snow
      In bird-winged silence
      All-enveloping
      Unless I’m
      Lost?

      Lost and frozen like your heart?

    1. The Language of Butterflies – Walking the Path of Attachment with Alysse Aallyn

      MELT into the space your desire creates: “You Got This”


      You’ve realize the immensity of your need and the enormity of the challenge. You’ve looked into your capacities and they just don’t seem to match your expectations. Now you’re scared and feeling hopeless. I’m here to remind you to “relax.” Melt into the space your desire has created. Untense those muscles because fear and hysteria, rage and feelings of worthlessness all work against us.

      Realize somewhere out there your Soulmate is feeling all these things also. This is a process you need to go through, in order to recognize the vastness of the challenge ahead. This is your time in the desert, where you will be tested. This guarantees that when your and your Beloved melt together your success will be all the sweeter. Of necessity to valuing the Other is the realization that, although there may be plenty of fish in the sea, you need a very particular fish.


      HAUNTED WEDDING
      The pregnant car disgorges
      Only us. It’s winter.
      Drunk as silver fish
      We beat our gills as light
      As hummingbirds.
      In an amethyst ring
      Of drypoint trees
      The half-built house
      Gapes and swells
      Its timbers stink of sap.
      Windrill fields occlude
      Our crossing, so you carry me
      High above the thorny osiers.
      We sleep aloft for safety
      Locked and levitating
      In this space of air
      One season only,
      Unseen by angry outriders;
      Bloodless in our wedding robes
      Like the doubled membranes
      Of the frozen flowers.

      1. The Language of Butterflies – the Path of Attachment by Alysse Aallyn

        POWER: “Doubling”

          We are filled with the excitement and power of acquisition and multiplicity. We will finally have a helper, an interpreter, an enabler, a sharer. A Second Self with its rich promise of Difference – different memories, body type, fantasies, wishes, dreams – we can indulge ourselves in. We can’t wait to get going and find this person who promises us wings and immortality! The potential sexual ecstasy alone is keeping us up nights. Imagine thoroughly exploring another and being thoroughly explored yourself – with a lifetime to do it in. We can’t yet speak the language of butterflies, but we can imagine it. We are giving ourselves wings. With such commitment, every moment becomes a lifetime. We think we may have discovered the secret of eternal youth, to see and be seen through the eyes of love.

          Angel Clothes

          You are like a ripe peach
          Swollen in the summer of your life
          And as the peach surrounds its stone
          Your skeleton enwombs your soul
          But thinly.
          I often see it shining
          Through the hollows in your cheeks.
          I need your body
          Need to know its shadows
          Sound its pleasures
          But as the stone
          Though small at first
          Must grow; feeds off the dying peach
          So your spirit will transhume your flesh
          Disgorge it in
          A thousand peaches a thousand summers a
          Thousand eternities more beautiful than
          You or I

        1. #DreamTherapy – Dream Journaling with Alysse Aallyn

          Homing – Forgiveness –
          Do you dream of home? What’s “home” to you? Sometimes we dream of a home that no longer exists, or never existed. DreamTherapy posits that “home” represents the state of psychic absolution where all mistakes are forgiven and fall away from us. We are cleansed. We dream of ultimate understanding where our sins are not too terrible to be entirely forgotten. Jesus suggests to us that state will never arrive until we learn to be the “forgivers”. Obviously, this means we must learn – somehow – to forgive ourselves.

          What Does It Mean to “Re-set”? – We don’t wish to be free of “consequences”. We want to learn and grow from our mistakes but not be humiliated and punished for them. Pretending they didn’t happen doesn’t free us. Seeing our mistakes as moves in a dance we all contribute to frees us from painful rumination and helps explain how the search for blame becomes a prison. “I did this because you –“… Human interactions are a tar-pit in which we trap and tar ourselves. We realize we need to forgive every chain in the event pattern if we are ever to have any peace.

          Challenge – Robert Frost defines “home” as a place where, when you show up, they have to take you in. Defining “they” defines your group, your tribe, your original home. Philosophy may provide an answer. Buddhists see history as a circle, Christians as a spiral. Ask these questions of your Dream Journal: which direction is the spiral headed and do we have time to learn what we need to know before there’s a cataclysm? Can you define the mess we’re all in and intuit your behavioral contribution? Is it possible to detach from the mess? Can you find a group – or even a moment (say, in yoga class) where you detach from the mess?

          Danger – Mixed up about “ultimate” right and wrong? Lots of atheists feel ”condemned” anyway. Think it through. One avenue leads to health, dignity and growth; the other leads in the opposite direction. Don’t make the mistake of “fundamental attribution error” either. Martin Luther King Jr. made a wise comment that the type of government capitalism desires is “socialism for the rich and rugged individualism for the rest of us.” It certainly suits corporations to lecture their employees on building a better world without incorporating any of those ideas into the bigger picture, where we have no control and they have absolute freedom. It is important that our resistance not embitter us.

          Opportunity – Forgiveness doesn’t require ignoring the past or accepting bad behavior. It’s part of an interaction where forgiveness is requested. Usually there is a recognition of fault or an expression of remorse: “I’ll never do that again!” When the requesting party seeks permission for the suffering to continue, “I can’t change” — that’ a different request. “Home” is not created that way. Hell is. Your opportunity is to point this out – if necessary, to yourself. “But if I’m not willing to try giving up my behavior because I think I’m not able to, this pattern will continually get worse.” And make an intelligent choice. “If it gets really bad I can always commit violence” is not an intelligent choice, “I need help” is.

          Models & Mentors – “It’s not an easy journey to get to a place where you forgive people. But it’s a powerful place, because it frees you” – Tyler Perry

          “The practice of forgiveness is our most important contribution to the healing of the world”
          – Marianne Williamson

          “The weak can’t forgive. Forgiveness is an attribute of the strong”

          – Mahatma Gandhi

          “To forgive one another, we must understand one another” – Emma Goldman

          “Forgiveness does not exonerate the perpetrator. It liberates the victim. It’s a gift you give yourself” – T.D. Jakes

          Mantra – “I forgive”

          Meditation –

          #Haiku: Forgiveness

          Returning home with
          New eyes
          Strong hands
          Fresh translations of
          Future past