
#Haiku: Completion
Drowsy bee welcomes death
Gently petalled in a
Favorite flower

#Haiku: Completion
Drowsy bee welcomes death
Gently petalled in a
Favorite flower

#Haiku: Treasure
Don’t like jewels
Dislike guard duty and
Crying after
Lost items

#Haiku: Limitless Joy
Rejoice in group fortune;
Cherish,
Cultivate –
Broadcast –
Generous thanks

#Haiku: Night
Dark suspends Day
Shadows succumb
Creatures rehearse:
Dreams power
Gardens.

Haiku: Relief
Generous souls
Confront fear’s energy
Calmly.
World‘s pain
Blocked,
Transformed.

#Haiku: Old vs New
Antique gods
Mandated murder;
New goddess favors
Propagation.

#Haiku;
Taming Hateful Mind
Can’t hate
Your way to
Happiness,
Poison path finds no Peace;
Rage clouds
Choice.

Chapter 13 – Why Women Want to Escape Lord Verne
I know I did. Did this mean that I
Could finally consider myself
Grown up? Wouldn’t my teachers
Be surprised. Verne inveighed against Kruptupian
The whole way back
And I didn’t stop him.
I imagined myself floating above him
And looking down on him
Pityingly. Wondered if Mirabel
Ever had done that.
At the Fifth Avenue apartments
Someone claiming to be Derek Lowther
Was pacing back and forth,
Eyed by the suspicious doorman.
He was over six feet tall, very skinny with
Explosively curly brown hair,
Big soulful green eyes and perfect skin.
I almost threw myself into this strange man’s arms
And kissed him.
“You’re not Derek,” I announced, exiting the car,
.“Derek Lowther is a ratty, pimply little brat
Who spits when he talks.”
“And you were a squirt with braces
And a squint,” he sassed back,
All I needed to hear for confirmation.
Nobody knows about the squint.
“It’s called amblyopia
And I’m all cured now,” I told him
As we race-scrolled through family pics –
Growing up for each other’s eyes
Across eight years of ski slopes
School parties, beaches and
Christmas. “Verne, this is Derek Lowther.”
Verne barely deigned to register
The presence of another human being.
“Step into the café,” he ordered.
Perhaps if you’re six feet tall
And possibly still growing
Things are different but hadn’t we
Just breakfasted? No one cared.
Derek: 2 Breakfast burritos and a café Americano,
Verne: espresso and blueberry blintzes,
Richenda: Milky coffee, everything bagel.
Only ordered where I can
Shed bagel dust at will.
As he and Verne gazed at each other
I thought Derek required a call-back.
“Remember Mirabel?”
“I remember the Mirabel Legend,”
Derek offered. Honest guy.
“Kids absorb gossip.”
“What kind of gossip?”
Verne was too sharp, I thought, snapping
At a guest like that.
Soon Derek too would want escape –
Playing into my hands exactly.
I smiled to myself, steepling my fingers
Like a movie mad scientist.
“Text and sub text,” Derek offered.
“Text” was parents explaining Mirabel had run away,
“Sub-text” came through eavesdropping about
Mirabel living wild and free to public acclaim.”
I could work with this guy, I thought,
Satisfied. At least
We spoke the same language –
Very unlike me & Verne.
“We were going to get married,” huffed Verne.
“She gave up her job with her boss –“
“Her nasty boss –“ I added. Helping.
“She called Richenda to help with planning.”
See? THAT wasn’t true.
Since I didn’t challenge Verne went on more
Confidently, “Ghosted us at dinner.
Didn’t come home at all last night.”
Derek looked at me with an
Expression seeming to communicate
“Tell me the REAL story later.”
I liked him more and more.
“Wow,” Derek commented evenly.
“Rough.” Turned to me. “You saw her?”
“I did,” I offered, not willing to say
In front of Verne what exactly I had seen.
“She’s a redhead now.”
Verne was impressed enough
To plunge into a long recital
Of our late night Kruptupian call,
Then insisting Ravi posed as
Mirabel’s groom. I could tell
My silence was registering with Derek.
Since he seemed to know I saw it
Differently, he must know I wanted
Getting out of there.
“Runaway Bride,” said Derek,
“I get that you can’t involve the media.”
“Any ideas?” asked Verne.
“I’ll study traffic cams for Mirabel locations,”
Derek offered, “See where she went.
And with who.”
Verne’s eyes jumped with excitement.
“You can do that?”
“Traffic cameras are easy, private cams
Are more complex.”
“I’ve got the exact times she was in
Brooklyn and at the spa,” I offered.
“I just need my laptop,” said Derek,
Hastily said,
“I need the ladies’ room”
But secretly went upstairs
To get my bag and leave it
In the hall.
Verne did not alert, unaware
Of my escape. Like Mirabel
I was getting the hell out.
When I got back they were discussing
Hiring a P.I., Derek’s dad
Had an art theft guy.
“We think she ditched her phone. “
“But her online account,
See who she called –
It’s golden. Maybe just a password hack,”
Said Derek. “Depends how well you know
The person.” “I can help with that,” I said,
Possibly unwisely – Verne’s face
Froze in jealous competition.
Apparently I belonged to him
Already.
Verne paid the bill,
Discomfited by precipitous
Abandonment.
“I have some friends to call,” he sniffed.
Threat or promise – we encouraged him.
“I’m going to see Derek’s folks” I lied so
Smoothly Derek kept his calm.
“They’ll have all kinds of suggestions.”
Verne was stymied
By our determination.
“I’ll call,” I promised pathetically.
Verne made a note of Derek’s number.
I marched after Derek
Who was walking decisively.
“So where are we going?” I hissed
Conspiratorially.
“Subway. No car service on my allowance.”
Down the steps into the hot and stinky
Underworld. “Fine with me,” I offered.
“I want to be anonymous.”
“I know the feeling,” said Derek.
“What’s with that guy?
You’re escaping a police state.”
We clutched straps and leaned together
Studiously ignoring people who
Were studiously ignoring us.
“So, what’s the deal?”
Hissed Derek. “Do you think he murdered her?”
“Not sure,” I said, “When he wanted me
To comfort him he said
I wasn’t the first fourteen-year old he’d had.”
“Oh, my God,” said Derek. “Disgusting guy.
His world is him and whoever he’s picked
To be his mirror.”
A startling, grisly, accurate thought.
“He left with me,” I mused,
“I’m his alibi but he could always hire someone.”
“But you don’t think she’s dead.”
“I hope she’s not. But if I find her now
I feel sure she’ll finally tell the truth.”
That idea sounded stupid to my ears.
Wouldn’t Mirabel do what she’d
Always done and feed me any story
I wanted to believe?
“I think I can tell the truth from lies,”
I offered, I’d like to
Test it.” To Derek’s credit
He didn’t argue. “My only question is;
What if he killed her, and then
Hired a girl to impersonate Mirabel?”
I had to admit I’d thought of this.
“It doesn’t sound so hard to me,” said Derek.
“After all you haven’t seen her for – what –
Six years?” I shook my head.
“I think it was really her and everything
She said and did was signaling.
I longed to learn her language.
“I think –“ could I confess this deepest secret
To this stranger –
“She’s longing to be found.”
A moment’s silence but Derek didn’t
Counter. “We’ll check her friends,” he said,
“When we open her account.”
Did Mirabel have friends?
Would Verne allow it?
I must have looked like a stopped clock
Because he propelled me out the double doors.
“Is this our stop?” “Change trains.”
Back to waiting on a dangerous platform
In the dark, hovering over an electrified hell.
Had I always been this scared
Of everything?

Chapter 9 – Shock the Virgin
He opened the door on baited
Breath as if Mirabel waited but
Of course she did not.
Did he long for her or
Fear her? I could not figure them out.
In their world, the blow is
Desired; not in mine. I am determined
Not just to resist
But to understand.
The rooms embraced us into its
Darkness, blandness. Silence. I should be
Exhausted, yet I new
If I closed my eyes she would appear
No stranger but
A part of me, both future
Avatar and past life
Alter. Her perfume
Teased us with its sexy cloud
As if from somewhere she was
Watching. Teasing. Listening. Laughing.
“I’m terminal,” yawned Verne.
Now there’s an odd expression.
“I could sleep.” I scanned the two
Bedrooms, yoked by unlockable
Double doors.
At least my bathroom
Had a lock.
Was it rude to remind him
He was supposed to have rented
A hotel room?
But if I sought politeness
He did not.
“Sorry there’s no telly,”
He casually insulted me.
Ignoring the fact I have a phone.
He lifted a hand – where would
It drop? I watched with
Frozen fascination as he dumped it heavily
On my shoulder.
Stumbled words –
“This has been a horrid homecoming
Holiday for you.”
Homecoming? No more a
Homecoming than a holiday.
Luckily, I’d never considered this mission
A vacation. “No worries,”
I tossed off lightly,
“I’ve got plenty for my end-of break-essay.”
His hand tightened painfully.
I tried to shake him off but he clenched harder.
“You can’t write this!”
I am NEVER ready for this reaction
Though God knows I should be –
Parents and school seem equally aghast
By my take on things
Refusing to grant me
The power to call them out –
That I was born with. It’s my
Superpower – NEVER
Reject a superpower.
Took both hands to de-clench
His grip. This would
Leave a mark.
I’d no wish to rile him but
How could he silence me?
“It’s all grist,” I quoted, lightly,
“You know, sweet mystery of life.”
Literally he spat with rage.
“That’s so American!”
(His deadliest insult.)
“Maundering on about all the details
Of your tiny lives, as if
Gossip is the better part of
Being!”
I backed away, trying to control my face.
They hate it if they think you’re laughing.
“It’s a mystery to be solved,”
I reassured, “Use all
The tools we’ve got:
Hypothesis, antithesis and
Synthesis. Occam’s
Razor. Refine
Possibility into
Probability.”
He snorted. “This is what comes
“Of not teaching Classics!
Confession substitutes for mastery!”
In my short experience
Those who try to “master” Truth
Will never understand it;
Won’t get that ultimate reward –
Uncovering the deepest questions –
Invisible to us now.
Playing politician by
Managing me, or
Controlling truth won’t locate Mirabel.
I threw him a bone. It worked –
It usually had before.
“Poetry’s my specialty,”
I taxed him.
People back away.
He seemed relieved.
“You mean like – metaphors?
An allegory?”
This man wouldn’t know a poem
If it gobsmacked him.
Poor Mirabel!
Of course she had to leave!
He cleared it up in
Just that second; guaranteeing me
Needed rest.
“Good night,” He told me as he closed the door.
Manners abound with
Strange expressions: this night
Was anything but good.
I chewed my lip.
It’s a bad habit of mine. Let’s hope
He doesn’t sleepwalk.
Mother wants me to unpack first –
No hope of that – these
Drawers and closets were jammed
With gaudy accoutrement
Complete with price tags.
Because what’s the good of
Acquisition sans
Provenance?
My clothes would have to stay
Jumbled together in their
Carpetbag.
I should really film all this –
Make a video –
But where to share it?
And that’s the trouble with
My school – they’re never interested in
What excites me. And what
Excites me? Just the things
I cannot know. I’ll always be
In the process of
Finding out.
Behind the locked bathroom door
I soaked myself in
Dead sea salt. Washed
My hair in watermelon mint &
Rubbed myself with Mirabel’s
Mango chutney cream – never approximating
Her clingy floral scent.
Pulling on my jammies I
Welcomed this new self of mine –
Solving grownup disasters by
Avoiding the reasoning
That caused them in the first place.
There was a knock at my bedroom door –
I said nothing but it opened slightly
Verne’s face poked in.
“Ok if I sleep in here? I just
Can’t be alone tonight.”
“No,” I told him firmly. “I wouldn’t sleep
A wink.” The nerve of him!
“Afraid of rape? You wouldn’t be
The first fourteen year old I’ve had.”
I concealed my shock.
“You’re not having this one. Leave.”
“You’re ignorant of sex. It’s
Life’s mightiest comfort.”
“No thanks. Are you leaving or am I?”
“Oh, all right.”
He sighed.
“Can I leave this door open?
Just until I fall asleep?”
Was he a rapist or a baby?
Why did I feel this was some
Miserable recap of his many nights
With Mirabel?
“I have some pills to knock you out.” I
Double-dosed him with Benedryl.
Closed the door and
Disappointed myself by falling
Asleep before I could sort my
Jumbled thoughts.

Chapter 3 – The Lost Sister
I realized with horror that
I was going to cry.
Seemed I’d never expected
To actually see her
She was a scam – a myth –
Like so many ones
She pleasured to perpetrate
On our poor parents.
“Darling!” Threw her skinny arms out
And kissed the air.
“You escaped!
You’re all grown up!”
She was shorter than me now –
A tiny person-
How I laughed.
Laughed with relief –
Suddenly I was initiated into
Her exclusive club
Two of us against the world
Superiority & sisterhood.
She’d always known – none better
How difficult parents are.
They didn’t need me to protect them
Running my own modest scams
To engineer breathing room
Took all the help I could get.
Could it be time for Mirabel and me
To grow up together?
I’d have a New York City sister –
Married to a lord
Providing escape anytime.
Mirabel tossed Verne a burning look –
“Get us drinks?”
And dragged me –
Literally DRAGGED me –
Into a double-doored bedroom where she
Swept me down upon the white flokati rug
And gazed deeply in my eyes.
I felt a bit of a hostage at that point
To tell you the truth.
She seemed more desperate for ME –
A nobody fourteen year old –
Than I was for her.
How could this be Mirabel?
So much smaller than my memory –
Disappearing before my eyes in fact,
Running away
As she had seemed to do
The whole of my existence –
Shoulders folding together
Over her knees –
Dress size diminishing
Smaller, ever smaller.
How could this tiny thing
Ever strut a catwalk?
Blondness was history
She was a redhead now.
She caught me staring at her scarred
Upper lip and covered it
With a gesture I recalled
As if moving her hand fast enough
I wouldn’t see it. “Too many
Piercings gone haywire,” she explained.
Apologizing to me
For the ruin
Of her beauty.
Something rattled at our door – Mirabel called –
“We’re naked!”
Pulled me into giggles –
“Leave it outside!”
She covered my mouth and signaled with
Humongous eyes –
Crawling to the door she –
Peeked out low –
Pulled in a
Champagne bucket and a pair of flutes.
My face must have showed
Surprise at his exclusion; but
She said: “Grooms get in the WAY
Of weddings! No one wants them!”
She lifted an unsteady
Rock-wearing hand to toast –
“Men! You know! They want to
Decide everything but weddings are the
Bride’s-” She gasped and gagged
As if from desert thirst – as if
She’d never had such wine.
“You can’t think what pleasure it is
Finally getting rid of him – too much
Togetherness destroys
The hardiest relationship.”
I sipped sedately, even though
The brew frothed my sinus
Parked burning foam
Behind my eyes.
How COULD this be Mirabel?
The way she looked at me –
Something stank of
Imposture and deceit.
I just can’t say –
I’m far too new –
It’s just too weird.
She was my sister and yet not.
She leaned too close to
Touch my hair.
“They should have named you
Maribel so we’d be twins.”
The door opened and Verne stood over us
Looked reproving as
Mirabel fell away.
But he was mild enough
Laying dress bags on the bed.
He winked and
Then was gone
Door slightly left ajar –
Pointedly, I thought –
Mirabel closed it with her foot,
Called, “See you at dinner!”
I felt sorry for the poor groom –
Then we heard the outer door slam and
Mirabel unzipped bags briskly after
Topping off her glass with
Vodka from a bottle by the bed.
“Bad champagne,” she excused herself,
“In Europe, babies drink this stuff.”
I studied the bottle –
Beau Joie Brut Special Cuvée –
“Brute” champagne
Sharpened me like
Winter air when you can
See farther, fly further
Or think that you can.
Mirabel offered her bottle.
“No thanks.”
And drained her tulip glass
And spoke my words.
”You’ve changed,” she commented.
Did I drink vodka at eight years old?
I said, “So have you.”
“My hair hated being blonde.”
“Is he really a lord?”
Mirabel rolled her eyes.
“Unfortunately.” At my surprise she added –
“It’s a cruel trick if
You can’t do anything you want.”
Shrugged.
“At least the restaurants like it.”
“And you’ll be –“
“Lady Verne.”
Unexcited at the prospect.
Opposite of what
Old Mirabel would have thought
She followed the doings & undoings of
European princelings in
Vogue magazine.
I probed deeper.
“You just met?”
“God no, we’ve been together FOREVER –
And only now we tie the knot. But you!”
She spun me all around.
“You’re so tall! And thin!”
I found myself apologizing.
“I can’t stop eating –
“I must grow so fast because I eat
Whatever I can find.”
“After the wedding,”
Mirabel promised
“We’ll do a purge.”
Sounds like a great honeymoon
I thought but didn’t say.
She was not making out a
Great campaign for aristocracy &
Marriage.
“Think you’d fit a four?”
The dress she flourished was pale gold,
A fairytale gown with an endlessly flounced
Puffy skirt. My gasp
Relaxed her. And she smiled.
Most beautiful dress I’d ever seen.
“Let’s find out!” I
Almost dropped my wineglass in
Excitement. Rapidly
Stripped to totally unsightly sports bra
And cartoon briefs.
I knew we’d try on clothes
But I owned no decent lingerie.
“Can’t wear a bra,” said Mirabel.
“You don’t need one anyway.
I’ll cinch you in.”
She gazed too long at my sad breasts
A man’s gaze I thought –
This dress had ribbons for corset strings
and Mirabel cinched me tight.
“There!” The mirror exposed a stranger.
I was a new person.
“A little short, maybe” said Mirabel,
“With the right shoes…”
From the closet she threw out flats.
Disappointing – but –
Bridesmaid shouldn’t tower over bride!
Maid of honor harnessing
The clashing egos!
In weird familial telepathy
Mirabel said,
“Princess Richenda
To the Dark Tower came.
Just like in the
Tarot cards.”
In the mirror
I admired my nude
Beribboned back.
“How about your dress?”
“You’ve seen it.”
It was like the breath went out of her.
She tossed it out – they were identical.
How could that be?
Wasn’t that too strange?
I was gobsmacked –
Never heard of bride and bridesmaid
Wearing the same dress –
Think of the confusing pictures –
People getting entirely
Wrong ideas.
Sounds like bad luck-
Guaranteeing
The groom will see the gown
Before they’re hitched
If you believe in that sort of thing.
Mirabel’s dress was
Smaller – size “zero” –
Competitive,
Combative Mirabel.
She knocked my phone right out of my hand –
“No pictures till the wedding.”
Her pressured speech rushed on –
“We’ve got to dress for dinner.”
She checked her phone.
“What will you wear?”
I looked embarrassed at my
Corduroy skirt
Discarded like a
Shriveled carapace along the floor.
Mirabel threw open mirrored
Doors to reveal another bedroom –
This one stocked with girlish stuff.
“This room is yours -”
She told me –
“He’s staying at The Stanhope.”
I blushed – I don’t know why
He’d called it “his” place –
And these closets were packed
With Mirabel clothes so
Where did I fit in?
My sister unbound my dress –
I’m not used to
Clothes that need assistants.
“You can borrow anything.”
Tossed out a slinky gown green with
Scales that matched my eyes
Still with price tags –
I’d never had a dress this costly.
No bra here either –
I dangerously chose heels that made me
Six feet tall – but Mirabel
Didn’t seem to mind –
She gave me smoky eye, nude mouth and
Emerald glitter.
“Verne hates lipstick.”
But she wore plenty –
Cherry red to match her dress –
I felt lucky anyway
To be transformed.
Now I was an impostor too.
“He’s waiting at the Stanhope Bar.”