
#Haiku: Old vs New
Antique gods
Mandated murder;
New goddess favors
Propagation.

#Haiku: Old vs New
Antique gods
Mandated murder;
New goddess favors
Propagation.

#Haiku;
Taming Hateful Mind
Canât hate
Your way to
Happiness,
Poison path finds no Peace;
Rage clouds
Choice.

Chapter 13 â Why Women Want to Escape Lord Verne
I know I did. Did this mean that I
Could finally consider myself
Grown up? Wouldnât my teachers
Be surprised. Verne inveighed against Kruptupian
The whole way back
And I didnât stop him.
I imagined myself floating above him
And looking down on him
Pityingly. Wondered if Mirabel
Ever had done that.
At the Fifth Avenue apartments
Someone claiming to be Derek Lowther
Was pacing back and forth,
Eyed by the suspicious doorman.
He was over six feet tall, very skinny with
Explosively curly brown hair,
Big soulful green eyes and perfect skin.
I almost threw myself into this strange manâs arms
And kissed him.
âYouâre not Derek,â I announced, exiting the car,
.âDerek Lowther is a ratty, pimply little brat
Who spits when he talks.â
âAnd you were a squirt with braces
And a squint,â he sassed back,
All I needed to hear for confirmation.
Nobody knows about the squint.
âItâs called amblyopia
And Iâm all cured now,â I told him
As we race-scrolled through family pics –
Growing up for each otherâs eyes
Across eight years of ski slopes
School parties, beaches and
Christmas. âVerne, this is Derek Lowther.â
Verne barely deigned to register
The presence of another human being.
âStep into the cafĂŠ,â he ordered.
Perhaps if youâre six feet tall
And possibly still growing
Things are different but hadnât we
Just breakfasted? No one cared.
Derek: 2 Breakfast burritos and a cafĂŠ Americano,
Verne: espresso and blueberry blintzes,
Richenda: Milky coffee, everything bagel.
Only ordered where I can
Shed bagel dust at will.
As he and Verne gazed at each other
I thought Derek required a call-back.
âRemember Mirabel?â
âI remember the Mirabel Legend,â
Derek offered. Honest guy.
âKids absorb gossip.â
âWhat kind of gossip?â
Verne was too sharp, I thought, snapping
At a guest like that.
Soon Derek too would want escape â
Playing into my hands exactly.
I smiled to myself, steepling my fingers
Like a movie mad scientist.
âText and sub text,â Derek offered.
âTextâ was parents explaining Mirabel had run away,
âSub-textâ came through eavesdropping about
Mirabel living wild and free to public acclaim.â
I could work with this guy, I thought,
Satisfied. At least
We spoke the same language â
Very unlike me & Verne.
âWe were going to get married,â huffed Verne.
âShe gave up her job with her boss ââ
âHer nasty boss ââ I added. Helping.
âShe called Richenda to help with planning.â
See? THAT wasnât true.
Since I didnât challenge Verne went on more
Confidently, âGhosted us at dinner.
Didnât come home at all last night.â
Derek looked at me with an
Expression seeming to communicate
âTell me the REAL story later.â
I liked him more and more.
âWow,â Derek commented evenly.
âRough.â Turned to me. âYou saw her?â
âI did,â I offered, not willing to say
In front of Verne what exactly I had seen.
âSheâs a redhead now.â
Verne was impressed enough
To plunge into a long recital
Of our late night Kruptupian call,
Then insisting Ravi posed as
Mirabelâs groom. I could tell
My silence was registering with Derek.
Since he seemed to know I saw it
Differently, he must know I wanted
Getting out of there.
âRunaway Bride,â said Derek,
âI get that you canât involve the media.â
âAny ideas?â asked Verne.
âIâll study traffic cams for Mirabel locations,â
Derek offered, âSee where she went.
And with who.â
Verneâs eyes jumped with excitement.
âYou can do that?â
âTraffic cameras are easy, private cams
Are more complex.â
âIâve got the exact times she was in
Brooklyn and at the spa,â I offered.
âI just need my laptop,â said Derek,
Hastily said,
âI need the ladiesâ roomâ
But secretly went upstairs
To get my bag and leave it
In the hall.
Verne did not alert, unaware
Of my escape. Like Mirabel
I was getting the hell out.
When I got back they were discussing
Hiring a P.I., Derekâs dad
Had an art theft guy.
âWe think she ditched her phone. â
âBut her online account,
See who she called â
Itâs golden. Maybe just a password hack,â
Said Derek. âDepends how well you know
The person.â âI can help with that,â I said,
Possibly unwisely – Verneâs face
Froze in jealous competition.
Apparently I belonged to him
Already.
Verne paid the bill,
Discomfited by precipitous
Abandonment.
âI have some friends to call,â he sniffed.
Threat or promise â we encouraged him.
âIâm going to see Derekâs folksâ I lied so
Smoothly Derek kept his calm.
âTheyâll have all kinds of suggestions.â
Verne was stymied
By our determination.
âIâll call,â I promised pathetically.
Verne made a note of Derekâs number.
I marched after Derek
Who was walking decisively.
âSo where are we going?â I hissed
Conspiratorially.
âSubway. No car service on my allowance.â
Down the steps into the hot and stinky
Underworld. âFine with me,â I offered.
âI want to be anonymous.â
âI know the feeling,â said Derek.
âWhatâs with that guy?
Youâre escaping a police state.â
We clutched straps and leaned together
Studiously ignoring people who
Were studiously ignoring us.
âSo, whatâs the deal?â
Hissed Derek. âDo you think he murdered her?â
âNot sure,â I said, âWhen he wanted me
To comfort him he said
I wasnât the first fourteen-year old heâd had.â
âOh, my God,â said Derek. âDisgusting guy.
His world is him and whoever heâs picked
To be his mirror.â
A startling, grisly, accurate thought.
âHe left with me,â I mused,
âIâm his alibi but he could always hire someone.â
âBut you donât think sheâs dead.â
âI hope sheâs not. But if I find her now
I feel sure sheâll finally tell the truth.â
That idea sounded stupid to my ears.
Wouldnât Mirabel do what sheâd
Always done and feed me any story
I wanted to believe?
âI think I can tell the truth from lies,â
I offered, Iâd like to
Test it.â To Derekâs credit
He didnât argue. âMy only question is;
What if he killed her, and then
Hired a girl to impersonate Mirabel?â
I had to admit Iâd thought of this.
âIt doesnât sound so hard to me,â said Derek.
âAfter all you havenât seen her for â what â
Six years?â I shook my head.
âI think it was really her and everything
She said and did was signaling.
I longed to learn her language.
âI think ââ could I confess this deepest secret
To this stranger â
âSheâs longing to be found.â
A momentâs silence but Derek didnât
Counter. âWeâll check her friends,â he said,
âWhen we open her account.â
Did Mirabel have friends?
Would Verne allow it?
I must have looked like a stopped clock
Because he propelled me out the double doors.
âIs this our stop?â âChange trains.â
Back to waiting on a dangerous platform
In the dark, hovering over an electrified hell.
Had I always been this scared
Of everything?

Chapter 9 â Shock the Virgin
He opened the door on baited
Breath as if Mirabel waited but
Of course she did not.
Did he long for her or
Fear her? I could not figure them out.
In their world, the blow is
Desired; not in mine. I am determined
Not just to resist
But to understand.
The rooms embraced us into its
Darkness, blandness. Silence. I should be
Exhausted, yet I new
If I closed my eyes she would appear
No stranger but
A part of me, both future
Avatar and past life
Alter. Her perfume
Teased us with its sexy cloud
As if from somewhere she was
Watching. Teasing. Listening. Laughing.
âIâm terminal,â yawned Verne.
Now thereâs an odd expression.
âI could sleep.â I scanned the two
Bedrooms, yoked by unlockable
Double doors.
At least my bathroom
Had a lock.
Was it rude to remind him
He was supposed to have rented
A hotel room?
But if I sought politeness
He did not.
âSorry thereâs no telly,â
He casually insulted me.
Ignoring the fact I have a phone.
He lifted a hand â where would
It drop? I watched with
Frozen fascination as he dumped it heavily
On my shoulder.
Stumbled words –
âThis has been a horrid homecoming
Holiday for you.â
Homecoming? No more a
Homecoming than a holiday.
Luckily, Iâd never considered this mission
A vacation. âNo worries,â
I tossed off lightly,
âIâve got plenty for my end-of break-essay.â
His hand tightened painfully.
I tried to shake him off but he clenched harder.
âYou canât write this!â
I am NEVER ready for this reaction
Though God knows I should be –
Parents and school seem equally aghast
By my take on things
Refusing to grant me
The power to call them out â
That I was born with. Itâs my
Superpower â NEVER
Reject a superpower.
Took both hands to de-clench
His grip. This would
Leave a mark.
Iâd no wish to rile him but
How could he silence me?
âItâs all grist,â I quoted, lightly,
âYou know, sweet mystery of life.â
Literally he spat with rage.
âThatâs so American!â
(His deadliest insult.)
âMaundering on about all the details
Of your tiny lives, as if
Gossip is the better part of
Being!â
I backed away, trying to control my face.
They hate it if they think youâre laughing.
âItâs a mystery to be solved,â
I reassured, âUse all
The tools weâve got:
Hypothesis, antithesis and
Synthesis. Occamâs
Razor. Refine
Possibility into
Probability.â
He snorted. âThis is what comes
âOf not teaching Classics!
Confession substitutes for mastery!â
In my short experience
Those who try to âmasterâ Truth
Will never understand it;
Wonât get that ultimate reward –
Uncovering the deepest questions â
Invisible to us now.
Playing politician by
Managing me, or
Controlling truth wonât locate Mirabel.
I threw him a bone. It worked â
It usually had before.
âPoetryâs my specialty,â
I taxed him.
People back away.
He seemed relieved.
âYou mean like â metaphors?
An allegory?â
This man wouldnât know a poem
If it gobsmacked him.
Poor Mirabel!
Of course she had to leave!
He cleared it up in
Just that second; guaranteeing me
Needed rest.
âGood night,â He told me as he closed the door.
Manners abound with
Strange expressions: this night
Was anything but good.
I chewed my lip.
Itâs a bad habit of mine. Letâs hope
He doesnât sleepwalk.
Mother wants me to unpack first –
No hope of that – these
Drawers and closets were jammed
With gaudy accoutrement
Complete with price tags.
Because whatâs the good of
Acquisition sans
Provenance?
My clothes would have to stay
Jumbled together in their
Carpetbag.
I should really film all this â
Make a video –
But where to share it?
And thatâs the trouble with
My school â theyâre never interested in
What excites me. And what
Excites me? Just the things
I cannot know. Iâll always be
In the process of
Finding out.
Behind the locked bathroom door
I soaked myself in
Dead sea salt. Washed
My hair in watermelon mint &
Rubbed myself with Mirabelâs
Mango chutney cream â never approximating
Her clingy floral scent.
Pulling on my jammies I
Welcomed this new self of mine â
Solving grownup disasters by
Avoiding the reasoning
That caused them in the first place.
There was a knock at my bedroom door â
I said nothing but it opened slightly
Verneâs face poked in.
âOk if I sleep in here? I just
Canât be alone tonight.â
âNo,â I told him firmly. âI wouldnât sleep
A wink.â The nerve of him!
âAfraid of rape? You wouldnât be
The first fourteen year old Iâve had.â
I concealed my shock.
âYouâre not having this one. Leave.â
âYouâre ignorant of sex. Itâs
Lifeâs mightiest comfort.â
âNo thanks. Are you leaving or am I?â
âOh, all right.â
He sighed.
âCan I leave this door open?
Just until I fall asleep?â
Was he a rapist or a baby?
Why did I feel this was some
Miserable recap of his many nights
With Mirabel?
âI have some pills to knock you out.â I
Double-dosed him with Benedryl.
Closed the door and
Disappointed myself by falling
Asleep before I could sort my
Jumbled thoughts.

Chapter 3 – The Lost Sister
I realized with horror that
I was going to cry.
Seemed Iâd never expected
To actually see her
She was a scam – a myth â
Like so many ones
She pleasured to perpetrate
On our poor parents.
âDarling!â Threw her skinny arms out
And kissed the air.
âYou escaped!
Youâre all grown up!â
She was shorter than me now â
A tiny person-
How I laughed.
Laughed with relief â
Suddenly I was initiated into
Her exclusive club
Two of us against the world
Superiority & sisterhood.
Sheâd always known â none better
How difficult parents are.
They didnât need me to protect them
Running my own modest scams
To engineer breathing room
Took all the help I could get.
Could it be time for Mirabel and me
To grow up together?
Iâd have a New York City sister â
Married to a lord
Providing escape anytime.
Mirabel tossed Verne a burning look â
âGet us drinks?â
And dragged me â
Literally DRAGGED me –
Into a double-doored bedroom where she
Swept me down upon the white flokati rug
And gazed deeply in my eyes.
I felt a bit of a hostage at that point
To tell you the truth.
She seemed more desperate for ME â
A nobody fourteen year old â
Than I was for her.
How could this be Mirabel?
So much smaller than my memory â
Disappearing before my eyes in fact,
Running away
As she had seemed to do
The whole of my existence –
Shoulders folding together
Over her knees â
Dress size diminishing
Smaller, ever smaller.
How could this tiny thing
Ever strut a catwalk?
Blondness was history
She was a redhead now.
She caught me staring at her scarred
Upper lip and covered it
With a gesture I recalled
As if moving her hand fast enough
I wouldnât see it. âToo many
Piercings gone haywire,â she explained.
Apologizing to me
For the ruin
Of her beauty.
Something rattled at our door â Mirabel called â
âWeâre naked!â
Pulled me into giggles â
âLeave it outside!â
She covered my mouth and signaled with
Humongous eyes –
Crawling to the door she â
Peeked out low –
Pulled in a
Champagne bucket and a pair of flutes.
My face must have showed
Surprise at his exclusion; but
She said: âGrooms get in the WAY
Of weddings! No one wants them!â
She lifted an unsteady
Rock-wearing hand to toast –
âMen! You know! They want to
Decide everything but weddings are the
Brideâs-â She gasped and gagged
As if from desert thirst – as if
Sheâd never had such wine.
âYou canât think what pleasure it is
Finally getting rid of him â too much
Togetherness destroys
The hardiest relationship.â
I sipped sedately, even though
The brew frothed my sinus
Parked burning foam
Behind my eyes.
How COULD this be Mirabel?
The way she looked at me –
Something stank of
Imposture and deceit.
I just canât say â
Iâm far too new â
Itâs just too weird.
She was my sister and yet not.
She leaned too close to
Touch my hair.
âThey should have named you
Maribel so weâd be twins.â
The door opened and Verne stood over us
Looked reproving as
Mirabel fell away.
But he was mild enough
Laying dress bags on the bed.
He winked and
Then was gone
Door slightly left ajar â
Pointedly, I thought –
Mirabel closed it with her foot,
Called, âSee you at dinner!â
I felt sorry for the poor groom –
Then we heard the outer door slam and
Mirabel unzipped bags briskly after
Topping off her glass with
Vodka from a bottle by the bed.
âBad champagne,â she excused herself,
âIn Europe, babies drink this stuff.â
I studied the bottle â
Beau Joie Brut Special CuvĂŠe â
âBruteâ champagne
Sharpened me like
Winter air when you can
See farther, fly further
Or think that you can.
Mirabel offered her bottle.
âNo thanks.â
And drained her tulip glass
And spoke my words.
âYouâve changed,â she commented.
Did I drink vodka at eight years old?
I said, âSo have you.â
âMy hair hated being blonde.â
âIs he really a lord?â
Mirabel rolled her eyes.
âUnfortunately.â At my surprise she added â
âItâs a cruel trick if
You canât do anything you want.â
Shrugged.
âAt least the restaurants like it.â
âAnd youâll be ââ
âLady Verne.â
Unexcited at the prospect.
Opposite of what
Old Mirabel would have thought
She followed the doings & undoings of
European princelings in
Vogue magazine.
I probed deeper.
âYou just met?â
âGod no, weâve been together FOREVER â
And only now we tie the knot. But you!â
She spun me all around.
âYouâre so tall! And thin!â
I found myself apologizing.
âI canât stop eating –
âI must grow so fast because I eat
Whatever I can find.â
âAfter the wedding,â
Mirabel promised
âWeâll do a purge.â
Sounds like a great honeymoon
I thought but didnât say.
She was not making out a
Great campaign for aristocracy &
Marriage.
âThink youâd fit a four?â
The dress she flourished was pale gold,
A fairytale gown with an endlessly flounced
Puffy skirt. My gasp
Relaxed her. And she smiled.
Most beautiful dress Iâd ever seen.
âLetâs find out!â I
Almost dropped my wineglass in
Excitement. Rapidly
Stripped to totally unsightly sports bra
And cartoon briefs.
I knew weâd try on clothes
But I owned no decent lingerie.
âCanât wear a bra,â said Mirabel.
âYou donât need one anyway.
Iâll cinch you in.â
She gazed too long at my sad breasts
A manâs gaze I thought â
This dress had ribbons for corset strings
and Mirabel cinched me tight.
âThere!â The mirror exposed a stranger.
I was a new person.
âA little short, maybeâ said Mirabel,
âWith the right shoes…â
From the closet she threw out flats.
Disappointing â but –
Bridesmaid shouldnât tower over bride!
Maid of honor harnessing
The clashing egos!
In weird familial telepathy
Mirabel said,
âPrincess Richenda
To the Dark Tower came.
Just like in the
Tarot cards.â
In the mirror
I admired my nude
Beribboned back.
âHow about your dress?â
âYouâve seen it.â
It was like the breath went out of her.
She tossed it out â they were identical.
How could that be?
Wasnât that too strange?
I was gobsmacked –
Never heard of bride and bridesmaid
Wearing the same dress â
Think of the confusing pictures –
People getting entirely
Wrong ideas.
Sounds like bad luck-
Guaranteeing
The groom will see the gown
Before theyâre hitched
If you believe in that sort of thing.
Mirabelâs dress was
Smaller – size âzeroâ â
Competitive,
Combative Mirabel.
She knocked my phone right out of my hand â
âNo pictures till the wedding.â
Her pressured speech rushed on –
âWeâve got to dress for dinner.â
She checked her phone.
âWhat will you wear?â
I looked embarrassed at my
Corduroy skirt
Discarded like a
Shriveled carapace along the floor.
Mirabel threw open mirrored
Doors to reveal another bedroom â
This one stocked with girlish stuff.
âThis room is yours -â
She told me â
âHeâs staying at The Stanhope.â
I blushed â I donât know why
Heâd called it âhisâ place â
And these closets were packed
With Mirabel clothes so
Where did I fit in?
My sister unbound my dress –
Iâm not used to
Clothes that need assistants.
âYou can borrow anything.â
Tossed out a slinky gown green with
Scales that matched my eyes
Still with price tags â
Iâd never had a dress this costly.
No bra here either –
I dangerously chose heels that made me
Six feet tall â but Mirabel
Didnât seem to mind –
She gave me smoky eye, nude mouth and
Emerald glitter.
âVerne hates lipstick.â
But she wore plenty â
Cherry red to match her dress â
I felt lucky anyway
To be transformed.
Now I was an impostor too.
âHeâs waiting at the Stanhope Bar.â

He reached for my bag
Kissed the top of my forehead â
Doubtless drinking in
Sweat, hairspray, foundation;
âRichenda?â
Pronouncing it âRichendorâ-
English accents are so cool.
âRecognized you immediately. Youâre
Just like Mirabel. Maybe itâs
The dark glasses â always dodging
Paparazzi.â
I felt helpless rapture as if
He flattered me when all it meant
Was that Mirabel wanted to hide and yet
Remain superior in just the way Iâd
Fantasized. I did some obscure
Need to argue â
Iâm an arguer â
But taking âcomplimentsâ
Is the better part I know.
But usually people said how unalike we were
Snow White and Rose Red.
âEr, thanks,â sounds so ungracious and
âWhat happened to Mirabel?â
Downright rude.
I said it anyway.
He batted at it briskly.
âUnavoidably detained.â
Swept me and bag away from the escalator
Clogged with ordinaries –
Down the platform
âWeâll take the elevator to the car service.â
Actually, it was a limo.
The driver rushed to fondle my
Pathetic flowered bag. Couldnât parse whether he
And this mystery man
Knew each other â casual hire? or
Permanent position? Hard to know.
âYouâre the fiancĂŠ?â I stuttered out.
Worse and worse! Country cousin
Morphing into bumpkin sister.
He seemed surprised.
âSo sorry,â he bundled me into the limo,
âMy excuse is wedding nerves.
Meet the family!
Philip Valerian. Everyone calls me
Verne.â Now I was
Laughing and I couldnât stop.
âMom thought your name was Rupert Golden!â
Verne didnât see the amusement.
âMust be some other swain,â he huffed.
Was I
Getting Mirabel in trouble?Â
Would she thank me?
What kind of fiancĂŠ
Hates to hear his glamor girl
Has been around?
âI guess we all have wedding nerves.â
He was jumpy,
Fingers drumming on one knee.
What a relief to turn away
Make what brain-meat I could of the street outside.
Writing my own story
In which he was smoother, easier,
Less knotty and complex.
New York City! Kubla Khan!
But everything was dark and dingy
Until Fifth Avenue; there a
Nonstop parade of glittery storefronts
And entitled shoppers
Promised trousseaux and makeovers and
Glamorous fun!
The limo stopped at the dress designer
Questrina,
And the driver stepped out of the car.
A woman rushed through the double doors offering
two glossy green dress bags in outstretched hands-
Driver swept them into the trunk and we were off again.
âYour dresses,â explained Verne.
My excitement dulled to confusion &
Disappointment –
Bait and switch:
I should have known.
âI thought Mirabel and I
Would choose our dresses -â
âOh, thereâll be lots for you to do.â
Iâm surprised he didnât offer a
Lolly to distract me.
âHere we are,â said the would-be groom.
âAt my place.â
A skyscraper on Fifth Avenue?
Shiny red doorman
Rushed the curb. âYour lordship.â
I thought my ears were ringing.
Was I hearing right?
Should have watched that damn Downtown Abbey
Or whatever it was called –
My oldsters begged me to
Watch with them
Instead of proudly sequestering my anime anger.
Could he really have a title?
Do they still give those out?
We were alone for a looooong 43 floor ride.
Under sallow yellow
Lighting he seemed
Depressed â was it me or
Or approaching Mirabel?
If only I could read minds! Then
Gold enameled door opened and
There stood my sister.

What could excite the most
Boring of Mothers?
Lacking hypothesis –
Unshouldered my headphonesâ
Grateful because
Geometryâs a notorious paralytic â
Playing the
More interesting
Guessing game.
âWe won Powerball?â
âYour sister! Your
sisterâs coming home!
To get MARRIED!â
Invisible Mirabel –
ten years my elder
Unseen lo these
Eight years at least.
I barely remember her.
Lifetimes ago.
âWhy?â
Mom â never invited in â
Unable to break my force-field
Leaned against my door.
Thin edge of the wedge
Is an article of her religion.
âItâs all forgiven.
Making up for the past.â
Who can make up for the past?
Especially when theyâre so busy making UP
The past.
Mirabel just wants a free wedding.
Mirabel was ALWAYS
Always always always
About the money.
That much I DO remember.
âWhoâs she marrying?â
âI think his name –
Something like Rupert Golden.â Said mother –
âI couldnât ask her to wait while I got a pen.
Said sheâd send details. Sheâs so fussy about
Snoopers.â
Everyone loathes snoopers, I thought because
Everyone loves to snoop.
Itâs addictive.
People usually wonât
Reveal themselves without help. What
Mirabel really hates is
Accountability.
I know it –
Weâre all that way at first till
Forced to grow out of it –
Taking our medicine;
Surviving
Tongue-lashings
Dressings-down,
Bad grades â
Teachers who hate you
Disappointing boyfriends
Etc. etc. etc.
Most of us move on.
âRupert Golden sounds so unreal,â was my
Only contribution.
Mom gave me her
âLike youâre the expertâ face.
But fourteen year olds DO
Know everything.
Then we start to forget because
Weâre distractible.
Mother sighed gustily –
Almost obscene â I
Looked away, politely
Embarrassed for her. She said;
âWeâll be a whole family again
First time in â ages.â
Just so Mirabel can leave us
One final time, I thought –
Cynical me.
Itâs all coming back to me.
Attuning to Mirabel â sheâs the one
Who made me so cynical –
Looking for groupies –
âMurbleâ
I called her
When learning to speak,
She was my dazzlement,
Goddess of my
Dappled infancy.
Parents may be incomprehensible and
Downright nonsensical.
Caring only for appearances –
Pretense
Our manse is
Copacetic.
Thatâs why we â the
Ungratefully sane â
Greet their
Lectures on truth-telling with
Stink-eye and sour-mouth.
âWhenâs this happening
Happening?â I asked a fair question.
âUnsettled,â says Mom.
âShe wants your help buying The Dress.â
âMe?â Hereâs something unexpected.
Amazing adventure, in fact.
Up to that second Iâd been a
Peeper, a commentator, a satirist
Unthankable critic of
Our Family Drama.
Now Iâm color coordinator?
Was there a choice buried in this?
âYouâre her only bridesmaid so your
Dresses must match,â
Mother pronounced â
Completely unrealizing
What idiocy she spoke.
Mirabel had certainly
Not sacrificed
Edge.
âYou travel tomorrow
and both come back Sunday.â
These plans were
Gobsmacking.
How had she been inveigled
Into agreeing to this
By a kid on the outs
Unseen in eight years.
I could see she wasnât quite happy.
Something was niggling.
Probably the fear that
White slavers will get me
Itâs usually that.
âUnless⌠maybe I should drive you?â
I alerted like a drug dog.
Time to finish Mirabelâs work.
This was nothing less than
A prison break.
Thereâs a first time for everything
Grab it when you see it.
âIâve taken trains before,â
I said maturely, suppressing my
Own edge; announcing â
In case sheâd forgotten –
âIâm fourteen years old!â
âBut itâs the city,â wailed my Mother
Both of us panicking
For different reasons.
âIâve been to the city,â I said,
Blessing disgusting school field trips
Iâs tried to get out of.
âI know where things are.â
âSheâll meet the five oâclock.â
Momâs face was a study –
Obviously wondering
In what hell had she agreed to this?
Some strange woman
Calls up my Mom
Securing more freedom
Than Iâd ever managed?
It’s a gift.
Keep the horseâs teeth out of it.
âIt wonât even be dark,â
I said blithely,
Knowing that, after white slavers,
Parents dread darkness.
âSo thatâs where she lives? In the city?â
Rumors of international travel reached us
when Mirabelâs modeling died.
(I recall her yelling that fashion
Is shit.) And
All this time sheâs been
Twenty miles away?
Mom still seemed unhappy,
Realizing how few facts sheâd extracted.
âMaybe itâs where Rupert lives.
Iâll trust your good sense.â
First time for everything!
Who trusts Mirabel,
Under what misbegotten star?
Someone needs to commit
To some serious snooping â
And Iâm the right person with my
Fierce curiosity to
Ferret out truth.
That very night a person
Calling himself
Philip Valerian
Accosted me on Instagram.
But I was well-trained
Media savvy –
I shut him right down.

Feb 26
The Multiverse is Blossoming â You are awakened to the magical possibilities that surround you. Can you dream of eternal bliss? Are you floating in connectedness? In Love the boundaries of the other disappear; all is forgiveness. Merge fearlessly, knowing you will be able to get yourself back any time, soothed, improved, and healed.
We Are Purrsons for Love â Love is the spirit that animates the empty spaces between creatures. Once charged, these spaces become a powerful force for growth and change – uncharged they are so much dead air. This is the space that Purrsons protect. Love is the longing to be truly alive and to share life with the Blissed, Blessed Others.
Our Yearning Defines and Connects Us â As children we thought we knew about miracles but it seems we have forgotten. As Purrsons we fight for our ancestral memories of trust and closeness. How we long to be reminded of the ecstasy of selflessness, to re-experience the borderlessness between creatures that makes a dead multiverse come alive.
Love Is Our Being â Life is a spiral, our labyrinth, remember? We canât go back, we can only go forward. We practice techniques and invent others as we design and redesign purposeful maps in a threatening and uncertain world. We have the collective confidence of all the brilliance of the Purrsons who came before us. Someone loved us once, eternalizing the golden moment, now we can re-create and perpetuate that magic by creating our own miracles.
Purrson Danger â Danger lies in narrowing, exclusionary definitions of what âcanâtâ happen, what âwonâtâ work. Purrsons explode restrictions all the time. Love must ever open outwards. As soon as we turn Love into a zero-sum game with a shut-off valve focused on our own narrow gratification, Love dies.
Purrson Opportunity â Love Is always a Miracle â It can restore the dead to life. It can open minds, it can awaken hearts. The possibilities of a Purrson are endless because we have chosen, with our flexibility and our sympathetic understanding, to be all-encompassing. Close your eyes and assume yogaâs starfish pose. We are open to what the multiverse longs to teach and once we commit to pass it on, we form an unbreakable chain, free at last from the bonds and the limits of selfishness. Clasp the hand (or paw) that generously, trustingly takes hold of yours. Letâs venture forth together.
Models & Mentors â âto love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sidesâ
â David Viscott
âMiracles donât happen to you, they happen through you.â â Mary Davis
âLove has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get, only what you are expecting to give, which is everythingâ â Katherine Hepburn
âLove gives you a piece of your soul you never knew was missingâ â Torquato Tasso
âYouâve got to see the miracle to be the miracle.â â Jandy Nelson
âLove is the gift of oneselfâ â Jean Anouilh
âI love you for who I am when Iâm with youâ
â Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Feb 23
Day Seventy – Two
Today the Multiverse Decides â Time to make peace with your elders. Have you been dreaming of old people? Funerals? Aging in general? Gurus atop mountains? Dreaming about Buddhas, caves, palaces of wisdom? Or are you fixating on a specific elder who had an influence â bad or good â on your young life?
Purrsonsâ Effort Is Sacred â Failure is when you donât try. Experience is the great teacher. Bad Judgment leads to Experience which leads to Wisdom which leads to Good Judgment.
You Are Wiser Than You Know ââ Contrast elders you admire with those you avoid. Arenât the latter complainers who stress to everyone they meet what a bad hand life has dealt them? They complain about their health, politics, the weather, other people â whatever crosses the windscreen of their increasingly tightening minds. In their world children never call, doctors donât help, media is lying, weatherâs getting worse, food is adulterated and we are all going to hell. This person is clamoring ever more loudly for ego strokes without apparently noticing the discomfort and distaste of those around them. Rather than trying a new strategy, they step up their whingeing.
Read the Room! Is what you want to scream at them but you realize they can no longer âlearn.â This is the opposite of wisdom. This is senility. A brain is shutting down, a personality is beggared and no one wants to be around it.
Think of an Elder you Admire. Nelson Mandela, Joe Biden, St. Joan, Desmond Tutu, The Dalai Lama, Deepak Chopra, Oprah Winfrey, Pema Chodron, the Pope? These persons are Ego-Less. Someone who talks about others, not themselves. They authentically care for others. They discuss ideas rather than gossip and have a long memory of problems, solutions, trial and error. They keep themselves âyoungâ in all the ways that matter. People flock to them.
Thereâs an Old Cherokee Story about how each of us is born with a good wolf and a bad wolf inside of us. The one that gets stronger and takes control is the one you feed. Your challenge is to figure out how to practice your increasing wisdom every day. Accepting your dreams and encouraging their deepening understanding is the beginning of wisdom.
The Pursuit of Gurus is Inherently Dangerous because there are a lot of con artists out there seeking hostages and slaves. You require an experienced hostage negotiator to help free you. Avoid dominance/submission games and people who use any of the following interpersonal techniques:
2.  Destructive conditioning – Abuse, frustration and disrespect are this personâs calling archetypes but itâs never their fault that they live in a cloud of toxicity. They want you in there, too. Decline.
No One Using the Above Techniques has your best interests at heart.
Our Scars Define Beauty – You can see this is all about Control. Avoid those who seek to control or dominate you. Revered Elders such as those mentioned above would not do that. Treat others with respect and expect respect yourself.
Purrsons Know Their Allies â Purrsons donât fear becoming experienced. We seek it. People come and go, but the right ones stay. Time shows you the difference between the strength and honor of anotherâs heart. Purrsons share their knowledge.
Purrsons Can Read the Signs â If you donât believe in yourself, no one else will. Train yourself to trust yourself. You can read and write maps, you can interpret Nature, you see Red Flags before they wave for others.
Purrsons Earn Peace â Random acts of kindness make everyone feel better. Purrsonsâ âcan doâ attitude spreads peace. Purrsons welcome other peaceful spirits. We challenge the troubled to take their drama elsewhere.
Models & Mentors â âYou canât control the wind but you can learn to adjust your sails.â â Jimmy Dean
âIt always seems impossible till itâs done.â â Nelson Mandela
âKnowledge speaks but wisdom listensâ â Jimi Hendrix
âI am thankful to those who said No. Because of them, I did it myself.â
â Albert Einstein
âExperience is not what happens to you, but what you do with what happens to you.â â Aldous Huxley
âIt is never too late to be who you might have beenâ â George Eliot
âWisdom is the journey no one can take for usâ â Marcel Proust

Feb 22
The Multiverse Runs on This Super-fuel â Do-overs. Clearing the slate completely. Letting go. Accepting fresh creation and creating freshly.
We All Need to Forgive⌠and be Forgiven. We transgress again and again against our own hearts, our own souls, and the heart and soul of the universe. It is the essential state of being human, and Purrsons do not reject their humanity by encompassing our cat-like qualities. We intensify it.
How Can We Go Back? Doesnât forgiveness involve repair? Where can we go to trace exactly what went wrong?
Do you Dream of Home? Often we dream of a home that no longer exists, or never existed. âHomeâ represents the state of psychic absolution where all mistakes are forgiven and forgotten.
Purrsons Create the Future – We must commit to the ultimate compassion that we are all in this together. Jesus suggests that understanding doesnât arrive until we learn to be the âforgiversâ. Obviously, this means we must learn â somehow â to forgive ourselves.
Purrsons Create Heaven – Such forgiveness helps us achieve the state of spiritual lightness that allows a Purrson to float through time, history, even the multiverse.
Purrsons Are at Home in the World – Whatâs your âdream homeâ? A Purrsonâs training emphasizes understanding and managing the fragility of the human body and the objective world, and accepting our healing and unifying mandate. Once we have scoped out the terrain and the inhabitants, Purrsons are at âhomeâ anywhere.
Purrsons are About Justice â But not the kind that leaves more brokenness behind. Purrsons achievements and physical selves display the triumph of thought, will and love.
What Does It Mean to âStart Overâ? â We donât wish to be free of âconsequencesâ. We want to learn and grow from our mistakes but not be humiliated and punished for them. Pretending consequences didnât happen doesnât free us. Seeing our mistakes as moves in a dance we are all contributing to frees us from painful rumination and helps escape and explain the prison of blame. âI did this because you âŚâ Cats live in the Now. Human interactions are a tar-pit in which we trap and tar ourselves. We realize we need to forgive every chain in the event pattern if we are ever to have any peace.
Itâs All About You â Robert Frost defines âhomeâ as a place where, when you show up, they have to take you in. Defining âtheyâ defines your group, your original home. Philosophy may provide an answer. Buddhists see history as a circle, Christians as a spiral. The question for Christians is, which direction is the spiral headed and do we have time to learn what we need to know before thereâs a cataclysm? Can you define the mess weâre in and intuit your behavioral contribution? Is it possible to detach from the mess? In what group â or even in what âmomentâ can you detach from the mess?
Purrsonsâ Danger â We canât afford to get mixed up about right and wrong. âBy their fruits shall you know them.â Think it through. One avenue leads to health, dignity and growth; the other leads in the opposite direction. Donât make the mistake of âfundamental attribution errorâ. The threat is NOT coming from inside the house. Martin Luther King Jr. made the wise comment that our specific brand of capitalism tends toward is âsocialism for the rich and rugged individualism for the rest of us.â It certainly suits corporations to lecture their employees on building a better world without incorporating any of those ideas into the bigger picture, where we personally have no control while they demand absolute freedom to do whatever whimsy directs.
What Is the Bigger Picture? Health and safety for all living things to achieve their growth potential as part of a harmonious, non-exploitative whole. It is key that our resistance â which is necessary and life-giving – not embitter us.
Forgiveness Is Our Armor â Forgiveness doesnât require ignoring the past or accepting bad behavior. Itâs part of an interaction where forgiveness is a request, not a demand. Usually there is a recognition of fault or an expression of remorse: âIâll never do that again!â When the requesting party instead seeks permission for the suffering to continue, âI canât change â thatâs the way I amâ — thatâ a different request. âHomeâ is not re-created that way. Hell is. Your opportunity is to point this out â if necessary, (because of safety) only to yourself. âIf Iâm not willing to try giving up my participation in this suffering because I think Iâm not able to, then this pattern will continually get worse.â Time to construct a better – more intelligent map.
Models & Mentors â âItâs not an easy journey to get to a place where you forgive people. But itâs a powerful place, because it frees youâ â Tyler Perry
âThe practice of forgiveness is our most important contribution to the healing of the worldâ
â Marianne Williamson
âThe weak canât forgive. Forgiveness is an attribute of the strongâ â Mahatma Gandhi
âTo forgive one another, we must understand one anotherâ â Emma Goldman
âForgiveness does not exonerate the perpetrator. It liberates the victim. Itâs a gift you give yourselfâ â T.D. Jakes