Alysse Aallyn

Category: healing

  • The Language of Butterflies – walking the Path of Attachment with Alysse Aallyn

    The path = GOALS -“A swan’s wing shows”

    “What do you want REALLY?”

    Tantra is the Path of Attachment. Being is travel. Movement. Closing in on a possible, seemingly viable Soulmate, we need to move forward slowly, checking items off our list and paying close attention to the items on THEIR LIST.

    That’s the focus of the passage we call “The Path” – bringing your intra-psychic “lists” to consciousness. Because you are always operating with a list, whether you are aware of it or not, but some of the items on it might be seriously out of date, illogical, contradictory or downright pernicious. (Such as, “I need my partner to guarantee they’ll never get sick or grow old.”)

    Think deeply about your dreams and do your best to verbalize them, if only to yourself or to a trusted other. Some of us benefit by writing it down. Accept that goals evolve because…we are alive. Being is travel, remember?

    Goals are all about communication. With yourself first, then with others. As we feel our way forwards, our goals change. Having a partner who’s the same as we are (an introvert, a careerist, a Democrat, to give a few examples) may suddenly stop being so important as we connect on a deeper plane. Some of our goals were designed to protect us, and it may be that as we begin to trust our partner and grow ourselves we need less and less protection.

    Being is Travel. As we shape the Path, it shapes us. Even the most anti-social creatures are constantly making paths for others to follow. Such delight when we uncover a ready-made Path! (Path-making is exhausting!) Such a mysterious invitation! Paths must lead Somewhere. Paths speak of Destination, Intention, Design, History. Every Path, Visible or not, speaks of the existence of The Other. Paths are our Robinson Crusoe footprint. They represent Hope: this Path worked not just once, but many times. We are proud of being Pathmakers in our turn, leading the weary, frightened traveler of the future toward confidence and reliability.

    Goals

    A swan’s wing shows
    The universe.
    No surprise to me –
    From this small window I see
    More than I can ever
    Understand; still I cast my nets
    And still I’m sinking;
    Restless; forced to move
    This unfriendly virus IS my blood –
    I see it in your eyes
    Thirties wasted and nothing come.
    It never quite meets –
    Attempt and reach.
    I see it in my dreams which
    Introduce me to the dead;
    Protect my essence from the hive.
    Wrapped tightly in this web of
    Earthly light; we
    Pray for mystery, glory; thought & sight.

  • The Language of Butterflies – Walking the Path of Attachment with Alysse Aallyn

    Synchronicity = What We Need to Learn: “Synching up”


    How do couples get “in synch”? How much of it is conscious? Synchronicity is more than symbiosis, more than coincidence. Like all true serendipity it contains an element of magic. If the bubbling primordial stew hadn’t brought the right ingredients together at the right time, life as we know I simply couldn’t have begun.


    There’s always a strong element of synchronicity in teamwork, as in all collaborative enterprises. We become sensitive to the rhythms of the other. Feel the rise and fall of the others’ energy and must exactly time our moment to chime in.


    It’s the Trust Game writ large across the heavens; the magic of need producing the miracle of response creates the synchronicity of Life.


    Think about your interpersonal relationships as a series of concentric circles. There are people on the outmost rings whom we recognize but exchange no words with and know nothing about, down to the closest, tightest ring, where we maybe know too much about those people, possibly feel stifled, even a bit unchallenged by their presence in our lives. And our closest relationships may actually merge into our own space, until we can’t tell where we end and the other person begins.

      Remember what it takes to achieve friendship – Are there once-close people whom we have banished to the outer distance? How did that happen? Any people we long to bring closer who seem stubbornly resistant to our charms? Do we notice any pattern in the way we relate to others? A favorite game therapists play is “Find the Father/Mother”. In other words, are we recreating any original family dynamics with other people we may know? (Critic, sugar daddy, permission giver, etc.)

      This game can be extended to “Find the Sibling” as we study ways to become competitive by conspiring against a “common enemy” with fellow workers or even friends. Let’s make the effort to become more conscious, less rigid. We’re going to “work” this circle. It is not going to “work” us!

      Being “in synch” requires understanding where the other person is coming from and feeling confident that they understand where you’re coming from. (And going to.) Do you enjoy learning? You’d better, because we have a lot of it ahead of us. Horribly, some people decide to settle down because THEY’RE TIRED OF LEARNING. They yearn for unchanging, static conditions! Yet your soulmate represents an entirely new world, and between the two of you, you will be creating another one. So there will be lots of learning going on.

      If you are really phobic about “learning” new things, now’s your time to figure out why. It may be that you hate “tests”, (a perfectly acceptable human reaction to stress conditions) but you love gaming. In other words, YOU REALLY LOVE TO LEARN, aren’t afraid of challenges and relish the acquisition of new skills and worldviews, but you had BAD SCHOOLING EXPERIENCES.

      You can see that’s entirely different, but it’s still helpful to know. The more your partnership resembles “school’ (with one of you as teacher/judge) the more unpleasant it’s going to be.

      So prepare to match your quest to the type of exploration you LIKE to do and most importantly, talk about it. Your partner can’t read your mind and people are often shy and can’t find the words to quantify their emotion. But between the two of you will FIGURE IT OUT. “I don’t know what I’m feeling – maybe panic with a dash of dread?” you can help each other to analyze and assess. You’ll be talking not just about your relationship, but every relationship either of you has ever had. “I’m afraid to look back/talk or even think about this,” is an acceptable opening bid. And throughout this process, you’ll get closer.

      Leaving the Coven

      A craven of cronies stood
      Between us & God
      God hated short skirts, God
      Demands clones.

      A damnation of judges
      Stood between us &
      Knowledge; truth exists
      Only in service to others.

      A clowder of cretins
      Stood between us &
      Art: “Don’t be disturbing”
      “Never trust instincts.”

      From the depths of
      This oubliette
      You drank the koolaid
      Guaranteeing your survival

      Cherishing passion
      Rescuing me –
      As I rescued you
      So I could grow up
      And write this poem.

    1. The Language of Butterflies – Walking the Path of Attachment with Alysse Aallyn

      Peace=SERENITY “Everything Will Work Out”


      What does it mean to have confidence in the future? We know the most attractive thing about others is “confidence.” Unfortunately, confidence can be faked, so there are a lot of people who believe that’s all it is: a shiny shop window. But if the goods don’t match the advertising, frustration and anger sets in.

        We’re looking for the long-term – immortality in fact – which can be achieved by two souls in perfect synch. We want to exude not just confidence but serenity. We want to be the person it’s peaceful and re-charging to be around because THAT person is VERY attractive.


        That kind of serenity and confidence comes from communing with the eternal. Yes, you’re going to have to “iron out” your philosophy BEFORE you find your soulmate. Christians satisfy themselves by getting to know God. Buddhists bathe in eternity itself. Karma is the “vibe” you send – if it is a peaceful one, it will come back to you.


        Peace is the absence of strife; a sense of repletion and comfort. It is less active than joy, and people are actually afraid of it, the way they’re afraid of heaven. If everything’s already achieved, then isn’t hope dead? That’s why they stir things up by taking pokes at people. Develop a concept of “peace”. A related concept is “plenty” and another is “enough.”


        When you are not actively looking for attachment, when you are feeling “enough”, people flock to you. It is because of that very sense of being “at peace” with yourself. Others want that sense for themselves, they are intensely attracted to a peaceful aura, which comes across as confidence, even if you haven’t got a single accomplishment to brag about. People like that are a relief…a relaxation…a vacation to be around.

        Can a sense of peace be “faked”? Obviously not. Time – and it doesn’t take much time – will fast reveal the truth. Much less trouble to cultivate ACTUAL peace. How do we do that? Through the calming disciplines of mindfulness, yoga and gratitude cultivation. If we can demonstrate that we are open to joy, people inevitably desire what we have.


        We are creatures of hope. If we sharpen ourselves against others as if they were cuttle bones, isn’t the absence of effort an absence of self-definition? We would just sink back into the undifferentiated mass of persons as into a heavenly cloud, all light, without defining shadow. Stop worrying! This is just “semantics” because Peace makes no sense without love and love is active. Harmony is desirable; disharmony is not. Listening to a cacophony is wearisome after the first few seconds, while harmonics, however subtle and complex, produce feelings of rightness, joy and Peace.


        What if we lose confidence and serenity?
        Doubt is human. Uncertainty is human. We armor ourselves with our belief in the promises of the eternal.

        But isn’t doubt disabling? At what point can we just relax? Most Americans think confidence comes from a track record of rewarded accomplishments. In pursuit of a soulmate, let’s imagine you in conversation with a stranger. As you’re wondering about them and trying to get to know them, you rapidly realize that spouting your resume and listening while they brag is NOT, actually, informative communication. What you really want to do is get a “feel for the other person’s “essence.”


        Are they “itchy? Restless? Or are they yearning for peace? If so, you can work with that! Experiment by “relaxing together.”

        Soulstice

        In this the Purgatory of the year
        the crystal cracks the future clear
        The fire maple stands unleaved
        And stalks the bony breast of earth bereaved;
        The sap within the corpse unseen
        Boils up a ready dynamo of green;
        The fetal fish child stirs and yawns
        An equinoctial birthday dawns.
        This is the zero hour when
        Our future dances with its end
        This winter music, echoless
        Raised up the chalice that is Us
        He gives, we are the offerings
        Unto the center and the focus of all things.

      1. The Language of Butterflies – Walking the Path of Attachment with Alysse Aallyn

        The Lovers = ALLIANCES: “Best Friends”


        Becoming a lover forges an alliance for the future. We’re not talking of two raindrops crashing into each other for sex, but a mutual declaration of interest and benefit. Spend today thinking about past alliances; not just love relationships but all alliances dreamed of, suggested, made and broken.


        What hopes, plans and fears did we enter (and exit) with? What mistakes were made? The first thing that jumps out to us is that power differentials create more problems than they solve. An alliance needs to be a two-way street; any hint of “exploitation” turns it into a different kind of relationship entirely.

        Alliances must be freely chosen, with consequences fully appreciated and maturely understood. How often in life is this even possible for us? Sometimes we are limited by the power of our imaginations as well as the resilience of our hearts. Alliances should also be freely exited but how often does THAT happen? How often do our passions (and perceived needs) fall short of our principles and how much shame does this knowledge engender? And then there are issues of temperament: to what extent can introverts/extroverts hope to change their stripes?


        Think about your deepest and most rewarding friendships. You’re looking for a special kind of Best Friend, after all, so it only makes sense that most of the components appearing in your friendships will be found in your soulmate as well. Will you appreciate some of the same things? Speak the same language? Have the same values? Laugh at the same jokes? Share fears and dreams? Expose your worst/best? You still want all that! Because you need an Ally. An ally reliably comes to your defense, as you fearlessly come to theirs.

        An ally is someone you can rely on. It means you must be honest with that person, and we all know how hard that is, especially when you can’t figure out the truth, yourself. You’re feeling your way and you need a sympathetic ear. You know you will have to be their sympathetic ear as well because otherwise what you have isn’t a partnership, it’s an autocracy. Autocrats are lied to and cheated on and they die alone. That’s not what gratifies the soul. You are looking for someone who holds the key to You and by astonishing coincidence, you will hold the key to them, as well.


        The Duel

          Europe without you
          Was a funeral feast.
          I recall the procession of your letters
          Far better than
          The stream of luckless suitors
          Trying to distract me.
          Virgins aren’t distractible.
          Your seductive missives stalked me.
          Your fatal ploy was that nude picture
          Adam lonely in his garden.
          I came right home.
          I well recall the ceremonies
          Of that night!
          Your shyness
          My perfume
          Our ignorance
          Your penis
          Soft as a
          Messenger dove that folds
          To a familiar hand –
          Then wild and hard as
          A riderless horse.
          I did cry out as the candles burned.
          I swear there were some moments when
          We actually saw each other.
          But if this magic sword cuts both ways
          Why was I the only bleeder?
          They peeled me off
          Dropping me down miles
          Of antiseptic hallway –
          A princess in a bucket.
          It could have ended there
          But at your school I haunted you
          A chilly-breasted demon.
          My daytime incarnation seemed mature:
          I fooled you;
          We chatted as you prepared the skin.
          I bit down hard and
          Tasted only
          Suture wire.
          You wrote and broke off
          Our association.
          The years groaned by
          Like convicts chained
          We served our terms with no time off
          For bad behavior.
          Lust had luster,
          Excrement had ecstasy.
          The castaways the whirlwind
          Flung upon the sand
          Were calm, polite –
          We knew our way around.
          That look you gave me!
          Our unborn children shivered
          In their sausage skins
          Suddenly aware
          Their time had come.
          The tale was done
          The frog-mask
          Shivered off
          We saw:
          The you of you
          The me of me –
          Masks
          Unmirrored –
          Scars
          Unscored
          Virgins not but
          Innocence
          Restored.

        1. The Language of Butterflies – Walking the Path of Attachment with Alysse Aallyn

          MELT into the space your desire creates: “You Got This”


          You’ve realize the immensity of your need and the enormity of the challenge. You’ve looked into your capacities and they just don’t seem to match your expectations. Now you’re scared and feeling hopeless. I’m here to remind you to “relax.” Melt into the space your desire has created. Untense those muscles because fear and hysteria, rage and feelings of worthlessness all work against us.

          Realize somewhere out there your Soulmate is feeling all these things also. This is a process you need to go through, in order to recognize the vastness of the challenge ahead. This is your time in the desert, where you will be tested. This guarantees that when your and your Beloved melt together your success will be all the sweeter. Of necessity to valuing the Other is the realization that, although there may be plenty of fish in the sea, you need a very particular fish.


          HAUNTED WEDDING
          The pregnant car disgorges
          Only us. It’s winter.
          Drunk as silver fish
          We beat our gills as light
          As hummingbirds.
          In an amethyst ring
          Of drypoint trees
          The half-built house
          Gapes and swells
          Its timbers stink of sap.
          Windrill fields occlude
          Our crossing, so you carry me
          High above the thorny osiers.
          We sleep aloft for safety
          Locked and levitating
          In this space of air
          One season only,
          Unseen by angry outriders;
          Bloodless in our wedding robes
          Like the doubled membranes
          Of the frozen flowers.

          1. #DreamTherapy – Dream Journaling with Alysse Aallyn

            Dispossessed – Do you dream of transgressions committed against you? Are you being robbed, stolen from, deprived? We wake with a sense of loss. Something has been taken from us, but what? The “politics of grievance” has always waged particular power, breeding anger and revenge. “You took something from me I will take something from you.” Yet our loss remains amorphous. We cling to the concept that we were “entitled” to something we no longer have. Philosophers and psychologists speculate; is it the mother’s womb? The family nest? What exactly is this lost paradise?

            You Can’t Take It With You – There is much talk nowadays that “the American Dream” is no longer possible. Very relevant to our study of DreamTherapy! Dreams are our specialty! But what was that “lost dream”, exactly? Some mystical concept of “wholeness” – family, life, work, rewards – that shifts according to who you are and where you are looking from. Once you are part of a “team” – even if just a team of two – the stakes seem different. Is that loss? Or accretion?

            Marx said all property is theft. We no longer fill our tombs with the junk of real life for use in the Great Beyond, “terra cotta servants” who will “wake” to wait on us hand and foot. We are forced to satisfy ourselves with strictly “mental” pictures. Is the detachment of elder-hood a triumph of success or a long wail of departure?

            Challenge – The “de-cluttering” movement did us all an enormous favor. Marie Kondo asked us to rid ourselves of every object that does not “spark joy”. That’s a high standard! We soon discover that daily life stirs up a lot of “necessary” detritus that sparks joy in literally no one but is a misery to live without. Probably the best way to free ourselves is to freshly contemplate this entitlement mystique. Open your Dream Journal and consider: What is it we think we are entitled to, and the next question is, is everyone entitled to the same thing? How’s that work?

            Danger – What does it mean when we believe we are entitled to something others are not? How do we stop them from wanting what we “have”? Do we “have” anything, really? It doesn’t take much to see this American Dream turning into a nightmare. We may say we’ve worked very hard for what we get but the whole principle of capitalism is to benefit from the work of others. It doesn’t take much to see the grievances THAT would stir up. And yet “state” ownership churns up grievances of its own. Ownership itself is fraught with exclusion, hostility, and danger. If our frame for adventure is a casino, we are mandating not winning, but losing on a massive scale.

            Opportunity – Do we possess objects when we are not physically present? Can we ever possess people? Do we WANT to take responsibility for another’s entire existence? Ask your Dream Journal: how do our dreams of freedom comport with our dreams of possession? Who – or what – is held captive? What if we freed ourselves – mentally and spiritually? Can we still enjoy the world if it doesn’t belong to us and we don’t belong to it? What would it feel like to release ourselves from captivity?

            Models & Mentors – “The more stuff I donated the more I was able to breathe, the more trash I threw away, the more weight I felt was lifted, the more I was able to see a new life, the more joy I found” – Zina Harrington

            “Clutter is postponed decisions” – Barbara Hemphill

            “Life is your masterpiece. Edit frequently and ruthlessly” – Nathan W. Morris

            “To the spoils belong the victor” – F. Scott Fitzgerald

            “Freedom is the oxygen of the soul” – Moshe Dayan

            Mantra – “I release”

            Meditation –

            #Haiku: Dispossessed

            We “own”
            Nothing:
            Objects, people, selves
            Sweated off
            As spirit
            Rises

          2. #DreamTherapy – Dream Journaling with Alysse Aallyn

            Healing Rituals – Are you a believer in magic? Do you dream of restoration, of nostalgia, of lost youth? The world is a garden. In our Garden, just as the light begins to fade, we observe Tea Ceremony. For the last three thousand years, an infusion of yellow chrysanthemum, wolfberry and honey clears anger and stress and quiets heart and brain. The tea is drunk from translucent porcelain cups with delicate gold tracery. Hot water is repeatedly added until the delicious floral scent is gone. Darkness falls, and we bow to one another before departing. If we can bear it, we touch each other’s hands.

            We Cannot Diagnose Ourselves – Healing and diagnosis alike come from the lips of another. It has been scientifically proven that plants respond to kind words. We yearn for the laying on of hands, for the intricate ceremonies that pass us from one stage of life to another.

            Challenge – We CAN heal ourselves – in fact, some would argue that the “medicine” will not work unless we “accept” healing spiritually. We need to feel “worthy” of restoration. What are we punishing ourselves for? Open your Dream Journal and think deeply. They say you are only as “young” as you feel. Are we only as “healthy” as we allow ourselves to be? Forgive yourself. Accept change. Contrary to your fears, change keeps us young.

            Danger – Healing cannot occur in an atmosphere of self-hatred and self-blame, but many of us are STILL “blaming” ourselves for unlucky genetic, social and medical outcomes. “Fundamental attribution error” consists of blaming individuals for group effects. We are all caught up in the machinery of temporality. Never forget that we are souls who happen to have bodies, not bodies who happen to have souls.

            Opportunity – “Restoration” is such a glorious promise that the early Christians found themselves ensnared in decades of argument about PHYSICAL resurrection. How would it work in cases of burning and dismemberment, exactly? It is easy to laugh at these painfully ridiculous theological conflicts. One is reminded of St. Joan of Arc’s response to interrogators at her trial who asked if angels appeared naked – “Do you think God cannot afford to clothe his angels?” Accept the power accorded to you by the universe. Accept the strength of your own mind, the control of your attitude, and step into the Miracle Bath offered you by the world’s oceans.. Healing is not just possible, it is a life-force in which we can all participate. Jesus came to us as a healer.

            Models & Mentors – “Healing yourself is connected with healing others”
            – Yoko Ono

            “What happens when people open their hearts? They get better.”
            – Haruki Murakami

            Your body cannot heal without play. Your mind cannot heal without laughter. Your soul cannot heal without joy.” ~ Catherine Rippinger Fenwick

            “We are healed of suffering only if we experience it to the full – Marcel Proust

            “Maybe the dragons in our lives are princesses”
            – Rainer Maria Rilke

            Mantra – “I heal”

            Meditation:

            #Haiku: Inheritance

            You were born with
            Enough:
            The right to
            Breathe
            Speak
            Learn
            Work
            Eat
            Love
            Heal
            Live

          3. #DreamTherapy – Dream Journaling with Alysse Aallyn

            Addiction – Do you dream of imprisonment? Blank walls? Chains? Our neurocircuitry mandates habit-making behavior, but our intelligence usually recognizes when we are trapped, and our dreams send distress signals.

            There’s No Escaping Addiction – But we have tremendous choice over what we become addicted to. Visit an AA meeting and the consumption of sugar and tobacco is outright alarming. Are you addicted to gambling? Do you work in sales? Were you raised in a ritualistic faith? We easily become dependent on praise, on safety, on gratification, and our brains (and our general health) show our dependency. They threaten us when the “treat” is withdrawn.

            Challenge – Open your Dream Journal and list your “Necessary sources of supply: substances and activities you can’t live without. Are you co-dependent? (Addicted to people.) Who? If you fear you are approaching a cliff-edge, you probably are. One test is to go on a “retreat” where your customary gratifications are not available, and attempt to form new gratifications. See what happens! This is such a good idea, we should build it into our lives, periodically. Just to keep us from the cliff-edge. Open-mindedly try all “freeing’ methods until you seize the one that works for you.

            Danger – There is always the chance that we will lose our autonomy. We may want to change, we know we SHOULD change, but we CAN’T. We need outside help. This is the purpose of interventions, to demonstrate to our eyes and ears that we are harming ourselves and our relationships. Denial is a powerful defense mechanism, especially when we think we’ve finally found a substance/process that “magically” allows us to live on our particular cliff-edge – a dangerous job, risky sexual behaviors, threat-filled recreational behaviors. We then have the choice of refusing to listen – giving up our relationships to keep up our self-abuse. Some hardened wretches tell anyone who listens that life itself isn’t worth it without their life-threatening self-abuse. Numbing themselves is the way they “choose” to die.

            Opportunity – You not only CAN free yourself, you MUST. It is a spiritual obligation to live this life as an enlightenment opportunity. Are you familiar with the saying, “Live simply so that others may simply live”? It means sharing honestly with others. That means studying your consumption, and scheduling time to be alone with the universe and with God, to check on the hardiness of your Soul.

            Models & Mentors – “You can’t defeat the darkness by keeping it caged inside you” – Seth Adam Smith

            “All addictions are ways to not feel our feelings”
            – Ellen Burstyn

            “Sometimes you can only find heaven by backing slowly away from hell”
            – Carrie Fisher

            “Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out”.

            – Robert Collier

            “The most common way people give up their power is thinking they don’t have any” – Alice Walker

            Mantra – “I feel my life”

            Meditation –

            #Haiku: Addiction

            Brain cells beggared;
            Lovelorn
            Oxytocin receptors misfire
            “Feed me!”

          4. #DreamTherapy – Dream Journaling with Alysse Aallyn

            Dependency – Do you dream of abandonment? Ruined gardens? Clinging vines? Are you afraid of being alone? In our dreams, we are reminded of all of the unpleasant aspects of needing others’ constant support in order to function. The clinging vine can’t stand up by itself, it needs an immoveable shoulder to cling to. We Americans prefer the fantasy of independence and self-determination. It’s just too threatening to imagine what might happen if the wall we’ve been clinging to ever comes down.

            No One Stands Alone – The truth is, we’re all in this together. Billionaires, leaders, CEO’s, all actually need more support than we do. So it’s time to divest of pointless shame and acknowledge the truth that humans are, for good and ill, social creatures. Open your Dream Journal and take a good look at your dependencies. Are there any that are no longer serving you? How about those who depend on you? How many are burdens? What pleasures and meanings make those burdens lighter?

            Challenge – The more we cling to a fantasy of who we are, the less we can see the true reality. List your actions for just one day and look at them in terms of ”dependencies” – bank, mail system, social security? Vehicle, gas availability, fuel affordability? Grocery stores, restaurants, our own two ambulatory feet? Weather, peace, law enforcement?

            Danger – Refusing to recognize the fragility of these systems is one danger; the ruthlessness confronting our fear creates is another. We are accustomed to the American need to muster a personal armory just in case the daily struggle for existence becomes a shoot-out; imagine the long-term effects THAT fantasy will have.

            Challenge – How can we free ourselves? What could we do to claim more psychic and physical independence? Mormons require a “year’s worth” of canned goods in the basement, the rest of us recognize the need for an emergency savings account. We are beginning to understand how a threatened supply chain can snap. Begin imagining some future failure scenarios and hash out the possibilities; if the elevator fails, is it possible to take the stairs? Your dream life will reward you with a lessening of existential anxiety.

            Models & Mentors – “Don’t set yourself on fire to keep other people warm” – Alysse Aallyn

            “Fear is the memory of pain. Addiction is the memory of pleasure. Freedom is beyond both.” – Anonymous

            “Don’t work harder on someone else’s problems than they do”

            – Ross Rosenberg

            “Enjoy togetherness but allow space. Respect differing beliefs. Accept, don’t try to change each other. Appreciate the other, but always be prepared to survive alone” – Darlene Lancer

            Mantra – “I can”

            Meditation –

            #Haiku: The Clinging Vine

            Lean too hard we’ll
            Fall together
            Allow freedom, we’re both
            Supported

          5. Dream Group – Dream Journaling with Alysse Aallyn

            REGRET – Many anxiety dreams are about regret.  When we try to impartially study our dream content, the moods flood in, rocking our precarious stability.  Why are people so afraid of lookinginside? Because of Regret, that’s why. The things we’ve already done that we can never change. Seemingly hopeless sorrow builds – now we are helpless, we hate ourselves and we can’t fix anything. We are in for a bad, cold, frigid winter of discontent.

              YOU CAN LIGHTEN YOUR OWN LOAD – No one can do it but you. When you serve as prosecutorin your own life – guess what? – that’s not fair. Fundamental Attribution Error is people blamingindividuals for actions that were the result of systems; mass decisions or circumstances over which theyhad no actual control. Look into it, if you want to. (Sometimes we need to.) Or you can just forgive yourself and move on. After all, we’ve got the future to think of.

              CHALLENGE â€“ Let’s get out our Dream Journal. What would you change NOW? How doyou WANT to change? Forgive yourself. You were held hostage by fortune (we all were)and you went full-on Stockholm Syndrome and identified with your attackers and tried toplease them. (We all did. It’s called Society.) Now you’re madder at yourself than you areat them. Forgive yourself. We’re starting a new life. One where it’s US who’s in charge.

              DANGER â€“ You’re in another part of the forest. Surprise! This wasn’t the plan but here you are. TheDanger is always that you’ll give up. Surrender. Don’t. You can easily see from every fairy tale andhero’s journey you’ve ever studied that now we’re getting to the Good Part. By testing your muscle, youGROW your muscle. If your muscle is never tested, it withers. So let’s go!

              OPPORTUNITY â€“ We don’t know everything. Even Jesus demonstrated surprise about the way thingsturned out. Be gentle as a dove, he advised, but wily as a serpent. Serpents can get out of anything. (Aska herpetologist.) And so can you. It’s just a bigger world than we knew â€“ both inner and outer â€“ so getmapping. I guarantee you â€“ IT GETS BETTER.

              Models & Mentors –  â€œI’d rather regret the things I’ve done than the things I haven’t done.”

              – Lucille Ball

              “There are no regrets in life, only lessons.” â€“ Jennifer Aniston

              “We have only one life, and the second life begins the moment we realize that fact” â€“ Confucius

              “I was designed by my Creator to not only feel pain and love but to become whole inside it. I am a Warrior” –Glennon Doyle

              “Autumn, the year’s last, loveliest smile” â€“ William Cullen Bryant

              MEDITATION â€“

              #Haiku: Regret

              Coulda

              Woulda

              Shoulda

              Didn’t. Now you

              Wish

              Things

              Different.

              Clean slate.

              Write.