Category: #InnerLife

  • Becoming a Goddess – the Goddess Oracle by Alysse Aallyn

    Meditation – Mindfulness

    Goddesses access Inner Wisdom through the Third Eye. We may physically live in the Now, but it is goddesses’ greatest good fortune that we can enrich our present with powerful visions of past and future. In our dreams, we can expand this to universal pasts and futures. “Now” serves as the lens through which our Body stays focused. To be absent from the Now is to miss the key to ecstasy that is our birthright.

    Patience Multiplies Wealth – Wealth can be psychic, emotional, spiritual as well as physical, financial and actual.  Eating unripe fruit robs us of our harvest. Therefore, we learn to settle into the Now, line up our Past, Present, Future with our Conscious, Subconscious, & Unconscious levels. It’s a discipline mastered through the practice of meditation, which opens the Third Eye. 

    The first step is Emptying. Push your thoughts, memories, worries away. Concentrate solely upon your breath. If this is too hard, choose a mantra (such as “Thank You” or “Namaste”) or a piece of music without lyrics (Marconi Union’s Weightless is fabulous for this.) Just celebrate the emptiness, the Nothingness. As thoughts come to you, release them like balloons. Celebrate You.

    In the Control of Your Own Mind Lies all Freedom. Without it you are a slave, whatever the world may think. Buddhists call your mind a “wild horse” that must be tamed. Learn to greet the Now as a dear old friend who knits everything that is “you” – all the scattered psychic pieces – back together. You can FEEL the healing.

    Goddesses Risk – In our new digital world it’s very difficult to claim Time for yourself. Can you turn off all the flashing lights, the alerts, the signals, the seductions, the threats? You absolutely must learn to do that, you must feel “important” enough to do it. It’s a lifelong job that soon becomes a respite you greet as an old friend.  Turns out, feeling entitled is the most difficult part of the task. Tell others, “This is my recharge time. It’s absolutely critical.” Twenty silent minutes per day. Alone. You. Finding Eternity – and the Eternal You – through the Now. It doesn’t come easily. It comes through your infinite willingness, your scrupulous patience, your holy dedication. Don’t give up on You.

    Give Up Your Competitiveness. – Nothing happens. Nothing happens. Nothing happens. Surrender your expectations. Push away the sadness, the depression, the loss, the anxiety, the rage, the worry. All can be released into the universe, floating away from you to pop harmlessly in the stratosphere.  You are alone now with the infinite. Slowly you begin to feel the pleasure, an indescribable ecstasy in which your ordinary human body becomes incandescent. Suddenly you want better things for yourself. More sleep. Better dreams. Healthier food.  A world of love and joyous possibility. Dip your toe in that completeness, twenty minutes per day. (Or more, if you can.) Now you have a glimpse of Heaven.

    Goddesses Tune In to their Energy Source – Goddess learn to treasure their peaceful daily meditations as a source of strength. If you allow the pool of your mind to settle, you will be able to see deeply. I personally prefer eyes-closed meditation. Concentrate on your slow deep belly breaths. If a thought jumbles past, think the word, “Clear”. Keep breathing. Keep clearing. You will feel rooted to the soil, grounded on the earth. The energy will start to bubble through you.

    Goddesses Stay Focused – Split focus – sometimes called “multi-tasking” – is the current work modality for a reason, and the reason is that it diminishes your psychic power. If you focus your full attention on anything or anyone, you will begin to feel the power flow between you and this object/idea/person. This is scary at first, but you will get used to it. Living beings (plants included) flourish under this attention and the connections that are made last forever.

    Goddesses are Mindful – Understanding the power of the Now is your goddess strength. You are entirely here, entirely present in this moment. You have completely accepted your current incarnation. There will be time, alone with your Goddess Journal, to savor the past and call upon the future, but for this moment you know how to be entirely present in the Now. It is unbelievably powerful. It feels like Love.

    Models & Mentors – “What you think, you become. What you feel, you attract. What you imagine, you become” – Buddha

    “You can’t stop the waves but you can learn how to surf” – Jon Kabat-Zinn

    “It takes courage to say yes to rest and play in a world where exhaustion is a status symbol” – Brene Brown

    ‘You are the silent watcher of your thoughts. You are the stillness beneath the mental noise. You are the joy beneath the love and pain” – Eckhart Tolle

    #Haiku: Meditation – Mindfulness

    Joyous

    Breath

    Supports

    Eternal now:

    Blossoms spirit;

    Sparks

    Thoughts,

    Shared

    Dance

  • Becoming a Goddess – the Goddess Oracle by Alysse Aallyn

    Waterfall – Change

    Goddesses Instinctively Resist Stagnation. Your conscious mind accepts stasis, which it interprets as “security”, but your subconscious rebels. It demands change! In the meanwhile, outside of your awareness, your unconscious IS changing, evolving fiercely along with the drama playing out in the entropical human race. Goddesses have the power to direct change. Tune in!

    Consult Your Dreams – Dreams signal a desire for change.  When was the last time you had a falling dream? Or a rushing water dream?  A surprise dream or an accident dream?

    Change Is Inevitable – Not just change, but revolution. Revolution is what we goddesses are all about. Cultivate flexible thinking. Don’t invest psychologically in rigid, one-way requirements.

    Thought Exercise – What if everything in life were completely different? What if things turned upside down? This is the kind of planning and strategizing asked of goddesses. What’s the “Last Best Option?” Shape your change towards growth by asking, is this making me better and stronger person, or more fearful? More competent, less dependent, more unique, less compliant, more imaginative, less angry, more joyous, less envious? Evolve with me! Prepare to streamline!

    Fundamental Attribution Error is the psychological theory that we blame ourselves for world conditions over which we have no control. Check your guilt/anxiety levels. If they are raging, is there anything you can do to ameliorate the causative circumstances? Being without guilt or anxiety is NOT the goal – that would describe a sociopath!  But being crippled by guilt OR anxiety when there’s nothing you can do about it is disabling. And we’re in the empowerment department here.

    Goddesses Manage Their Evolution, that’s the point. Traveling ever upward along the spiral. What are the attributes you admire? Develop a picture of yourself as a wise being emitting light. Nurture calm, contentment, gratitude – in the midst of a thirst for new ideas and experiences to add to your expanding galaxy of knowledge.

    Be Ready for Anything – Play out the scenarios in your Goddess Training Journal. Have a plan A, B, C. Learn chess to help with thinking of several moves ahead. Ask others, “What would you do?” As you read/watch a piece of fiction, imagine yourself inside this problem. You can also learn a lot from history. Start a “What IF? Club” in which members dream up survival scenarios. Play the game Worst Case Scenario.

    Models & Mentors – “Progress is impossible without change”

    – George Bernard Shaw

    “Change is the law of life. Those who look only to past and present are certain to miss the future.” – John F. Kennedy

    “Change does not roll in on the wheels of inevitability but comes after continuous struggle.” – Martin Luther King

    “It is not the strongest of our species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the ones most responsive to change” – Charles Darwin

    #Haiku: Unwanting

    Curbing desire

    Won’t work;

    Evolving desire will.

    Admit it:

    We’ve changed

  • Becoming a Goddess – the Goddess Oracle by Alysse Aallyn

    Discipline – The Bridge

    No One Becomes a Goddess Without Discipline – Many fatally confuse discipline with punishment and avoid it until they sadly discover they’re now too debilitated to do anything. Uh oh! Don’t let this happen to you!

    Map-Making Means Map-Following – We adjust maps on the basis of experience. But we try them out first. Or we won’t know where they went wrong.  Goddesses are logical, not impulsive. Because impulses are outer-directed. Being a Goddess means being in control. Don’t apply if you don’t like being in control. Goddesses dislike the feeling of being out of control. 

    You’re Out of Control When You Don’t Know Where Impulses Are Coming From –  Lots of cues are subliminal and their directors want to keep it that way. They want you to think the desire is coming from INSIDE the house, not from their strategy room where bills are piling up. 

    You Become a Goddess by Getting to Know Yourself – YOUR ESSENTIAL SELF – that’s what makes you strong. Goddesses take the time to track the origin of their impulses down.

    1. Do I want it because I’ve done it before?
    2. Do I want it because other people are doing it?
    3. Do I want it because SOMEBODY ELSE insists?
    4. Do I want it because of advertisers & influencers?
    5. Do I need it to Join the Club?

    You’ve probably figured out Goddesses aren’t “Joiners.” 

    1. If you’re “used” to whatever it is, get “unused” to it. You’re in Goddess training, and it’s a whole new world. Relish the different feelings. If you sense you’re becoming unglued, contemplate substitutions.  You don’t need to go Cold Turkey on Pleasure, the Past, or your own physiology. What you need to do is get your body and mind acquainted with Trying New Things because of respectable scientific research says it will build you into the new person you need to be.
    2. Get loose from “the pack” right now. If you can’t, you’re not Goddess material. There’s two kinds of people, “swarmers” and “selves.” Swarmers don’t want to develop a self because it differentiates them from the pack. They want to do whatever the swarm is doing. It takes time – and can be ouchy – to develop a Self but the payoff is literally Eternal. Take the time. Or go down with the swarm if that sounds better.
    3. You’re being pressured to Follow a Course that suits Somebody Else. Let’s take a long look at this person and ask ourselves why they don’t care about our betterment, or who the hell we really are, or even anything other than their own Ego. Why are we servicing this person’s ego? We need to get AWAY from this person. They want a hostage or a slave or both.
    4. We’ve been seduced by the Virtual World!  It felt so good at the time. For a moment there it felt like maybe we found Our People. And they seemed so welcoming! Of course there is a price of admission, and you keep paying it with your denigration, not just in the service of someone’s ego, but a lot of people’s bank accounts. Figure out a way to tell these False Friends goodbye.

    From our Subconscious We Summon Rescue. In dreams sometimes it’s a hero, a fictional or historic figure or a spirit animal. Try reading folk or fairy tales right before bed. Fall asleep imagining strengthening muscles – physical, spiritual, emotional – growing inside you.

    You are Jack AND the Beanstalk! No giant can stand against you. Even the laziest, cruelest corner of the self ultimately collapses to reveal a Tiny Child yearning for effective mothering. Turns out, that’s what you were looking for all along. Time to give birth to yourself, then mother yourself.

    Discipline is the Only Path to Achieving What We Want. Nothing is achieved (or appreciated!)  without discipline, which only means conforming your behavior to a previously conceived pattern. What ideas spring up when you think about this? Is “discipline” always cruel?  Painful? Is it one of your fears? Or the map to the orderly life you long for?

    You Are Your Best Friend and Best Parent – Nothing works in your life until you learn delayed gratification and stick-to-itiveness. But first you must experiment with other patterns – some of which –depending on your upbringing – can be hellish.  So you have THAT to get past. You will definitely need to harness all your dream power to get yourself over the finish line.

    Goddesses Adapt Discipline to Enhance Thriving. But who’s doing the adapting  – the Cruel Taskmaster, the Disgusted Lover, the Generous Parent or the Permissive Saint? You contain all these (and they live in your dreams) so which will you listen to?  Who will you empower? Who do you feed?

    The Choice You Make Controls your Future. Consult appealing patterns that have worked for others and blend to taste. Realize it’s a process; a series of moments. You’re training like an athlete; every day you master new capabilities. Develop a sophisticated discernment you can trust to guide you.

    Goddesses Set Marks and Hit Them – Forming habits is easier than breaking them apart, so goddess know that preventing bad habits is the core of discipline. But bad habits sneak up on us, they will form anyway, so part of your discipline will always be turning away from something that was formerly pleasurable. Enjoy the peace that comes with each small step.

    Goddesses Know How to Keep Going – Discipline is the bridge that gets you from where you are to where you want to be. Always use a “spotter” – someone who wants the best for you – a professional who’s “been there” and who can keep you from going over the edge.

    Goddesses Celebrate Their Discipline – Self-acceptance comes from experiencing our humanity to the fullest. We are “parenting” our much-loved and respected self, the one who starts out as a toddler with no self-control whom we’re trying to keep out of the fire. Forgive yourself. And keep going.

    Make Discipline Visual – Charts, maps, graphs and lists that hearten & cheer are key to purposeful pathways. Figure out a way to picture your values. Checking off boxes and cherishing the “proof” of a successful day becomes your joy.

    Models & Mentors –  “Through self-discipline comes freedom” – Aristotle

    “Motivation gets you going, but discipline keeps you going” – John C. Maxwell

    “All success begins with self-discipline. It starts with you.” – Dwayne Johnson

    ‘Day by day – what you choose, what you think, what you do, is who you become” – Heraclitus

    #Haiku: Discipline

    Discipline is

    Choosing

    Between what you want now

    And what you want

    Most

  • Becoming a Goddess – the Goddess Oracle by Alysse Aallyn

     Ingenuity – Flight

    Goddesses Use Ingenuity to Rise Above –  Everyone has flying dreams! In those moments, we experience the absolute power of potential, which is exactly what Goddessing is about. We often wake from them with a feeling of disappointed sadness: “You mean I’m earth-bound? I want to go back!’

    Goddesses are Transformers – Your mind is a ever-changing tool that not only discerns and elucidates and solves “problems”, it transfigures them with transcendental thinking. Difficulties dissolve as the potential for revolution becomes clear. Goddesses rise above the problem to survey it from other angles. We can soar over the difficulty with prescriptive imagination!  Our most transformative tool is the question: “What if?”

    Ingenuity sees Connections where Others see Limits. Ingenuity

    relaxes by “tinkering.” Let’s become expert at cultivating the alpha brain waves to achieve “flow” – a condition of subconscious harmony where ideas spring up and potentialities thrive. “Flow” is true freedom.

    Goddess Danger: Can You “Waste” Your Life Daydreaming?  I’m one of those people who says “No”!  But the mind can create traps – cultural, educational and emotional – to keep us on a sabotaging treadmill of circular reasoning that gets us nowhere.  Usually you can tell this is happening when you hear an intrusive “voice”: “You shouldn’t be doing this” “You’re an idiot” “That won’t work.”  That’s not you talking; it’s a “Hidden Enemy” brainworm you are allowing into your Sacred Space.

    The “Hidden Enemy” is an Invader – a parasite you picked up someplace. It could be school, family, online, it could be cultural or psychological – that doesn’t really matter.  The Hidden Enemy is determined undermine all your efforts to focus and connect. Without the confidence to dream, think and experiment you can’t become your best self. So the Hidden Enemy must be expelled.

    Goddess Opportunity –  Meditation is practicing to take control of your own brain, and as such, it is vital. Like piano scales and ballet steps the practice itself matters less than the fact that you do it every day. Wonderful Meditation apps exist to help you on this journey. This is not on the “winning” or “losing” spectrum any more than massage is, it is simply something that must be done every day to practice recognizing the Hostile and Destructive Voice and forcefully pushing it out of your brain. If you need confidence to apply this practice, join a meditation group.

    Goddesses Create Heaven – In a supportive environment voices saying, “You can’t do it” are drowned out by empowering affirmations. Some people use music to achieve this state, others use meditation. Fans of psychology might wish to make an effort to study where these voices came from. Who are they? What happened to those people? Why did they attack you? Now that you are no longer a child you can usually see them for the tiny, disappointed, bitter little minds they were. These are not forces to emulate. Deliberately let them go. Repeat after me: “I am sorry for you, but you have no power over me”.

    When You Can’t Go Backwards or Forwards the Only Solution is Up – Goddesses are accustomed to thinking outside the box because they long ago realized they would never fit the box society had chosen for them.

    Goddesses Invent – Goddess figure out brand new ways to do things based on innovative reasoning, creative solutions and “win-win” thinking.

    Goddesses Adapt – Goddess have been strategizing in their Goddess Journals and mapmaking on their Vision Boards for so long soon they can do it in their heads, on the fly. We know Plan A will probably not happen, possibly not even B, C, or D but a combination of all these or something new entirely that comes to you suddenly, in the heat of the moment.

    Goddesses Amaze – Surprise is the entire Art of Beauty, says Alysse Aallyn; absolute originality is the Art of Surprise.  Learn to enjoy the unexpected. Don’t allow others to dictate to you about behaviors and modalities. Above all, Goddesses are free.

    Models & Mentors – “No problem of human making is too great to be overcome by human ingenuity, human energy and the untiring hope of the human spirit”

    – Bill Clinton

    “Mathematical reasoning is the exercise of inspiration and ingenuity” – Alan Turing

    “You cannot solve a problem with the same mind that created it” – Albert Einstein

    “Those who do not think outside the box are easily contained” – Nicolas Manetta

    #Haiku: Flight – Ingenuity

    I can’t

    Becomes “I will”:

    Eyes closed,

    Dreaming:

    Fantasy prompts

    Invention

  • Becoming a Goddess – The Goddess Oracle

    Cooperation – Division of Labor

    Goddesses Learn to Delegate. Just because you are One of a Kind, it doesn’t mean you have to do everything. Goddesses thrive and refresh through admiring the ministrations of others. We’re all nostalgic for a Perfect World of cooperation that never in fact, existed or can exist because we are all the stars of our particular story. Exactly as it should be. But you, right now, need cooperation and luckily, as it turns out, everyone requires cooperation to survive.

    Goddesses Aren’t Responsible For Everything – We are immortalizing; it’s hard work and it takes a lifetime. Every task we assume is part of something much bigger. But we are surrounded by helpers, if we could only see it. Goddesses have much to share.

    Goddess Challenge – In life we have Group Tasks and Individual Tasks. The challenge is to figure out which is which. Social pressure tends to ‘erase” the importance of our personal, individual tasks because the daily round is so overwhelming. Yet we must cling determinedly to our Personal Goals of maturation, Mastery, Learning, Finding Meaning & Bliss, Growing Love. Cooperation surrounds us in all these challenges if we could only access its benefits.

    Goddesses Know How to Lead – Goddess understand strategy and dividing tasks into steps. Goddess see into the heart of personal and personnel problems because they have confronted their own issues of courage, baggage, physical challenge and fear

    Goddesses Know How to Play Their Position – For my part to work, your part needs to work. Division of labor knits efforts into a harmonious whole. Everyone gets a chance and everyone is satisfied with the result.

    Goddesses See the Entire Field – We know how to change course to give our best efforts their best chance. We know when to retreat and regroup. We understand the psychological build-up and the necessity of down-time, debriefing, and re-supplying. Everyone must feel that they are of value and no effort is in vain.

    Know the Game – Unfortunately capitalist societies are based on competition and scarcity. Politics maneuvers us into seeing others as competitors for scarce resources, instead of willing hands helping us build. No wonder Main Street is falling into disrepair, volunteer activities go begging and community resources are depleted! Without a sense of community, we can’t see each other as anything but rivals. When looking for co-operators it is wise to re-visit our previous Wisdom warnings about avoiding people who seek not helpers but hostages.

    Avoid Spirit Crushers – Memorize these threatening warnings of an approaching hostile takeover and don’t expect anything from these people. Spirit crushers have given up on achieving anything themselves and are looking solely to take others down. In this life, goddesses are as subject to destruction as anyone, even if their souls have already achieved immortality. Watch out for:

    • 1. Manipulation: Toxic people often use manipulation to get what they want from others. They may guilt trip, threaten, or lie to manipulate others into doing their bidding.
      2. Emotional Abuse: Spirit crushers may use emotional abuse to control and dominate their victims. This can include name-calling, belittling, and constant criticism.
      3. Lack of Accountability: Spirit crushers often avoid taking responsibility for their actions and may blame others for their own mistakes.
      4. Self-Centeredness: Spirit crushers are often extremely self-centered and may prioritize their own needs and desires over those of others.
      5. Lack of Empathy: Spirit crushers may have difficulty putting themselves in other people’s shoes and understanding their feelings and perspectives.
      6. Passive-Aggressiveness: Spirit crushers may exhibit passive-aggressive behavior, such as giving the silent treatment or making sarcastic comments.
      7. Inconsistency: Toxic people may be inconsistent in their words and actions, and may promise one thing but deliver another.
      8. Disregard for Boundaries: Spirit crushers may disregard others’ boundaries and may continue to push for what they want even when told “no.”
      9. Gaslighting: Toxic people may engage in gaslighting behavior, which involves manipulating someone into doubting their own perceptions or memories.
      10. Physical Aggression: In extreme cases, spirit crushers may exhibit physical aggression, such as hitting, pushing, or kicking.

    Stay Away!

    Goddess Opportunity – If you avoid the above, you will meet Your Best Friends Ever! People who really have ideas and ENJOY HELPING. This is even more important than Getting “the job” DONE! Because Cooperation often redesigns the job in a positive, healthy way. Real friends last for life and they change YOU. Reach out for advice and cooperation to all who treat others with respect. The universe is a group endeavor! You won’t be successful ALL the time – no one is – but you will learn so much in the course of finding out How to Live In the World and Who to be.

    Models & Mentors – “The only thing that will redeem mankind is cooperation” – Bertrand Russell

    “Coming together is a beginning, keeping together is progress and working together is success” – Henry Ford

    “If I have seen further, it is by standing on the shoulders of giants” – Isaac Newton

    “Alone we can do so little. Together we can do so much.” – Helen Keller

    #Haiku: Cooperation

    Fliers

    Gatherers

    Coaxers

    Feeders

    Breeders

    Layers

    Eaters:

    Honey.

  • Becoming a Goddess – The Goddess Oracle by Alysse Aallyn

    22. Age – Wisdom

    Goddesses Embody Wisdom and Wisdom Is Hard-Won. Is it time to make peace with your elders?  Do you feel you require an experienced hostage negotiator to free you from an infestation of the past?  Have you been dreaming of old people? Funerals? Aging in general? Dreaming of gurus atop mountains?  Buddhas, caves, palaces of wisdom?  Or are you fixating on a specific elder who had an influence – bad or good – on your young life?

    The Goddess’ Effort Is Sacred – Failure is when you don’t try. Experience is the great teacher. Bad Judgment leads to Experience which leads to Wisdom which leads to Good Judgment.

    You Are Wiser Than You Know –– Contrast elders you admire with those you avoid. Aren’t the latter complainers who stress to everyone they meet what a bad hand life has dealt them? They complain about their health, politics, the weather, other people – whatever crosses the windscreen of their increasingly tightening minds. In their world children never call, doctors don’t help, media is lying, weather’s getting worse, food is adulterated and we are all going to hell. This person is clamoring ever more loudly for ego strokes without apparently noticing the discomfort and distaste of those around them. Rather than trying a new strategy, they step up their whingeing.

    Read the Room! Is what you want to scream at them but you realize they can no longer “learn.” This is the opposite of wisdom. This is senility. A brain is shutting down, a personality is beggared and no one wants to be around it.

    Think of an Elder you Admire. Nelson Mandela, Joe Biden, St. Joan, Desmond Tutu, The Dalai Lama, Deepak Chopra, Oprah Winfrey, Pema Chodron, the Pope? These persons are Ego-Less.  Someone who talks about others, not themselves. They authentically care for others. They discuss ideas rather than gossip and have a long memory of problems, solutions, trial and error. They keep themselves “young” in all the ways that matter. People flock to them.

    There’s an Old Cherokee Story about how each of us is born with a good wolf and a bad wolf inside of us. The one that gets stronger and takes control is the one you feed.  Your challenge is to figure out how to practice your increasing wisdom every day. Accepting your dreams and encouraging their deepening understanding is the beginning of wisdom.

    The Pursuit of Gurus is Inherently Dangerous because there are a lot of con artists out there seeking hostages and slaves. Avoid dominance/submission games and people who use any of the following interpersonal techniques:

    1. They’re never “wrong.” Nothing is ever their fault. Only they know what is fashionable, appropriate and right. You are always wrong.
    1. Circular conversations, ad hominem arguments, projection and gaslighting –  They are the gate-keepers of reason and you the thirsty aspirant who will never succeed without their help.
    1. People only capable of hierarchical –  vertical, not horizontal relationships. Someone needs to be “on top.” It will never be “your turn.” You will always be dragooned into doing their bidding.
    1. Blanket statements and generalizations – Thick layers of protective blather will keep you from getting through to discuss any task at hand.
    1. Misrepresenting your thoughts and feelings to the point of absurdity – You are a poorly educated simplistic thinker and a deficient reasoner and they are in on all the secrets and are  the source of all wisdom. There’s no “cooperating” with these people.
    1. Nitpicking and moving the goal posts – Different rules for everyone and every day.
    1. Changing the subject to evade accountability – “This is your fault – You shouldn’t have given me that job to begin with.”
    1. Covert and overt threats –“If people know what you REALLY are, say, do, no one would be your friend.”
    1. Name-calling , stigmatizing, limiting– “Identity politics.” “You are a ___” Fill in the blank. And that’s all you’ll ever be in this guy’s eyes.
    1. Destructive conditioning – Abuse, frustration and disrespect are this person’s calling cards but it’s never their fault that they live in a cloud of toxicity. They want you in there, too. Decline.
    1. Smear campaigns and stalkin– Endless power struggles. “Office politics.” Need I say more?
    1. Playing the Martyr – “Everyone’s lying about me. I have so many enemies!”
    1. Demands Immediate Unthinking Fealty – When someone stresses the fact that they are a “nice guy” or girl, that you should “trust them” right away or emphasizes their credibility without any provocation from you whatsoever, WALK AWAY.
    1. Baits and badgers you – testing your limits. Can you be made to lose control?
    1. Boundary testing –  “You owe me”  – “You’re committed” – “Everyone does it” to drag you into unethical enterprise
    1. Aggressive jabs disguised as jokes – “Can’t you laugh about yourself? Everyone else is laughing.”
    1. Condescending sarcasm and patronizing tone – Know-It-Alls

    No One Using the Above Techniques has your best interests at heart.

    Our Scars Define Beauty -You can see this struggle is all about Control. Goddesses avoid those who seek to control or dominate. Revered Elders such as those mentioned above would not do that. Treat others with respect and expect respect yourself.

    Goddesses Know Their Allies – Goddess don’t fear becoming experienced. We seek it. People come and go, but the right ones stay. Time shows you the difference between the strength and honor of another’s heart. Goddesses share their knowledge without fear of competition. We know we are unreproduceable.

    Goddesses Can Read the Signs – If you don’t believe in yourself, no one else will. Train yourself to trust yourself. You can read and write maps, you can interpret Nature, you see Red Flags before they wave for others.

    Goddesses Earn Peace – Random acts of kindness make everyone feel better. Goddess’ “can do” attitude spreads peace. Goddess welcome other peaceful spirits. We challenge the troubled to take their drama elsewhere.

    Models & Mentors – “You can’t control the wind but you can learn to adjust your sails.” – Jimmy Dean

    “It always seems impossible till it’s done.” – Nelson Mandela

    “Knowledge speaks but wisdom listens” – Jimi Hendrix

    “I am thankful to those who said No. Because of them, I did it myself.”

    – Albert Einstein

    “Experience is not what happens to you, but what you do with what happens to you.” – Aldous Huxley

    “It is never too late to be who you might have been” – George Eliot

    ‘Wisdom is the journey no one can take for us” – Marcel Proust

    #Haiku: Noble Heart

    Sit

    In peace;

    Regroup;

    Regift

    The rubble of your life

    Belongs to All.

  • Becoming a Goddess – the Goddess Oracle by Alysse Aallyn

    The Sun – Truth

    Goddesses thirst after justice. Do you dream of a fully lit landscape? Do you bask in warm rays or feel trapped by skin-scorching light? As the Sun represents Truth in the Goddess Oracle it also sheds light on our efforts to locate, explain and exploit that mysterious force.

    Goddesses Are Bullshit Detectors – Throughout life you will encounter people searching others for weapons and tools. They will try to make a weapon and a tool out of you. This is why understanding the give and take nature of true partnership is so key. When you are searching for a Teacher you are not searching for a Master. Use Truth to divine the difference.

    You Are a Truth Diviner – Truth is complex. Truth evolves to match our understanding. Dream are incontestably “real” but do they represent “Truth”?  Can something be true one day and untrue the next? (see Ambivalence.) Is the storytelling child narrating “the truth”? Are myths true? Is the Bible true? Yes to all these questions. But No, also. Because the most important fact about truth is that, like us, it’s either progressive or regressive. You easily recognize this in your own life. Goddesses evolve. Immortality is a process. Something that was true of you twenty years ago is no longer true. You have changed. Understandably, in a chaotic climate such as our present circumstances, people thirst for Unchanging Truth, and there are a few examples. Benjamin Franklin offered Death and Taxes, Jesus said evil can’t win, and Buddha said life itself is an illusion.

    It is enough to make us think that language is a poor descriptor of experience. The important variable in all this are the circumstances of humanity. We are the eyes that think, the brain that evaluates, the mind that remembers. You are constantly developing Goddess Skills – Truth Seeking, Truth Telling and Truth Divining – and you are developing definitions. Congratulate yourself. Support yourself and others on this noblest of enterprises. Because to die in the Truth is to pass into the Light.

    The Truth Matters –  Lying is the biggest red flag, and the question always is, why? Can your interlocutor not bear the truth or do they not know the truth? Do they attempt to fool others to take advantage? Law asks the question: who benefits? How would they take control if you accepted their falsity?

    Goddesses Accept the Physics of Reality – Does the Liar promote growth and health, or suffering and squalor? Followers may be sickening and dying slowly, but you can quickly see that in the Liar’s universe, the benefit of others is never as important as leader gratification.

    Goddesses Understand Emotional Health – Challenge is necessary for growth. The fact that subjects are uncomfortable is usually a good reason to take a long look. Effort is important but not to the point of depletion. Who maintains the resources that refresh the spirit?

    You Are Worthy of Support & Self-Care – Rest, health, nourishment, fellowship and learning are the riches of the universe that should be available to all but usually require positive effort.

    Goddess Challenge – It’s so relaxing when you finally see the Truth. Suddenly you’re in the gulf stream, swimming WITH the tide! This is why fans love mystery stories  – they explain what was REALLY going on and you see all past events in a new light with a new meaning. Daily life seems to request one hideous compromise after another fro ordinary humans until they wake up one morning feeling that we are lying to everybody – ourselves included.  The Goddess’s Challenge – should you accept it – is to bring your life more in harmony with what you currently know to be true, all the while seeking a higher elevation of The Truth.

    Goddess Danger – Nobody likes a hard-ass. Is your quest for truth turning you into a rigid, mean-spirited drill sergeant? I used to be authoritatively told by Literary Lights that the mysteries I loved weren’t any good, that no way was Raymond Chandler as good as John Steinbeck. Worse, Emily Bronte wasn’t as good as Philip Roth! Ugh! I did appreciate that what was “true” for others was NOT true for me but unfortunately for me, THEY did not appreciate that. So, be humble. You can never see (or reveal) all the Truth. It will evolve as you will. Goddesses are “perfected” when they are received into Bliss. You’re not required to believe in Bliss, by the way. Bliss believes in you.

    Goddess Opportunity –Truth, like everything interesting, meaningful and worth doing, is a PROCESS. Welcome aboard! We’re all passengers on this exciting thrill-ride! So buckle up! Assemble a team! Get out your journal!  Let’s begin!

    Models & Mentors – “The truth will set you free. But not until it is finished with you.” – David Foster Wallace

    “In a time of deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act” – George Orwell

    “Speaking your truth is the most powerful tool you have” – Oprah Winfrey

    “Truth is like the Sun. You can shut it out for a while, but it ain’t going away”

    – Elvis Presley

    #Haiku: Lady Samurai

    Loyal

    Poise;

    Courage in

    Truth

    Compassionate

    Respect

    Honest

    Honor

  • Becoming a Goddess – the Goddess Oracle by Alysse Aallyn

    The Moon – Influence

    Goddesses Plan Their Path. Time to re-calibrate your subconscious influences and bring them into mindfulness. What subconscious influences? You don’t “know” this pressure with your rational mind, but you can “feel” it down in your animal soul. Something is pressing on you, like gravity, the way the moon’s pressure rolls and presses on our tidal waters.

    Goddesses Understand Their Secrets – You begin, like everyone, as a secret to yourself.  Your subconscious has the answers. Yet she only reveals herself covertly. Time for some dream interpretation. Object dreams are fear dreams, people dreams are love dreams, motion dreams are future dreams. Don’t look for rigid accuracy – we seek connections, not edges, interpretations, not walls and blocks. The purpose of dreaming is to splinter blocks. If you are a writer, automatic writing reveals what you think about. Collect pictures that speak to you and collage them from insight. Try to name the figures.

    Goddess Are in Tune with the Universe – The opposite of fear, remember, is attraction, the opposite of love is hate and the opposite of forward yearning for the future is stasis. Each life pulse contains its opposite. Goddesses must learn many languages, of which the most important are non-verbal. The sky, the moon, the stars, the animals, history, the past, the plants, the dead, the future – all are reaching out to you. Be unafraid to listen and interpret.

    Goddess Are Aware of the Unseen – We are all under influences of forces we have never even heard of, yet the Goddess’s Quest is to own their Self and present it in its most beautiful incarnation, to God, as worthy of  Immortality. To understand who we are at our core is to perfect our obligation of thriving and giving.

    Goddess Danger – We seek to heighten, not damage, your self-will. Others in your life – relative, friends, advertisers, politicians – are trying to take control of you. Don’t let them. The way to stop that is to take control of your fears yourself, so that you will never be ruled by them. Always seek a way upward. The direction of the spiral must always be UP.

    Some influences are demonic and purely destructive. We stand up to them, we name them, we reject them. We learn their weaknesses and their targets. If necessary, we will battle them.

    Goddess Challenge – Recognize Health, in yourself and others. Promote growth in yourself and others. Goddesses may refuse to engage, but they never cut people down. Take time for retreat, to build yourself and your powers and to recognize and name where you have come from and what you have battled. Treasure your Goddess Journal, share it, learn to profit from the trainings and maps of others. Build partnerships. Work on your Gratitude Practice – this is a glorious universe the God/Goddess deigns to share with us; from Love alone.

    Models & Mentors – “Moonlight drowns out all but the brightest stars” – J. R. R Tolkien

    “Like the Moon, come out from behind the clouds. Shine!”– Buddha

    “Everyone is a Moon, and has a dark side he never shows to anybody”- Mark Twain

    “The moon gives pure solitude and tranquility”

    – Haruki Murakami

    #Haiku: The Echo

    Sharp night; cold

    Moon; shush your chatter.

    Naked

    Pond consecrates

    Abandon.

  • Becoming a Goddess – the Goddess Oracle by Alysse Aallyn

    The Shadow – Dissonance

    Why Become a Goddess? – Innocents assume that being a goddess means being the center of continuous adulation.  Although people do admire you, competitive pushback is much more common. This alone is usually enough to encourage most women back into the fold. Why ever leave the Approval Matrix and strike out on your own? 

    Dissonance is why. As William Penn, (1644-1718) founder of Pennsylvania considered pacifism, he asked the great Quaker philosopher George Fox (1624-1691) how long he should wear his ceremonial sword, and Fox answered: “As long as you can.” In other words, until you can bear it no longer. When the dissonance overwhelms us, then we must act.

    Goddess Are Sensitive Instruments registering seismic shifts and deep tectonic disturbances below the threshold of consciousness. Something always IS “going on” and you have studied long enough to be alert to the many warning signals! This can be exhausting. We long for relaxation, peace and quiet, a clear blue sky without a single cloud.

    Goddesses’ Feet Find Their Own Path – Enviable, maybe, but scary also. We consider the unseen. Dreaming of reversals?  Sudden surprises? Creeping sense of unease? Upsets? Do you wake with a sense of having forgotten something important you almost understood?

    Who Approves the Approvers? – You’re just not comfortable in the Approval Matrix. Possibly you don’t like or trust the people whose approval you supposedly need. Getting that sneaking suspicion you’ve wandered into a masquerade? You try to learn the rules, but the rules keep changing. You can tell they’re moving the goalposts but no one’s allowed to comment. By the time you arrive, the “promise” has mysteriously “expired.”

    Impostor Syndrome – Are we the fake, or is it everyone around us who’s faking it? “Fake it till you make it” seems to be the rule. But is the game worth playing? Goddesses step away into an arena all their own, where they find the freedom to uncover their true selves. Your Goddess Journal reflects the Goddess Reality. Meditation will reveal your wholeness to you.

    Activate Your Spidey Senses – First, uncover your real self. This ought to be the easy part! Everyone has a self – right? If only! From our earliest memory, not only was “love” conditional but ALL rewards were. We wanted to find out who we really were and what we were capable of but it never seemed the right time. 

    Be the Person Not Determined By An Algorithm. Let’s start by taking our suspicions seriously – you’re not paranoid if they’re REALLY out to get you.

    Goddess Challenge –The key to intelligent management of dissonance is to think of the world as an orchestra playing a symphony. The more able we are to distinguish the varied instruments and musical lines the more we will appreciate and enjoy the experience. Schedule regular periods of rest, rebalancing and renewal.

    Goddess Danger – Avoid a “bunker mentality.” You’re not looking for a hidey-hole. The universe has many bunkers, but is bigger than any single one. Goddesses belong to eternity – that is the whole point of Goddessing. We must cultivate a hierarchy of response. We get out of bed in the middle of the night for a fire alarm, not a phone notification. 

    Loneliness Is Not Required – Don’t allow yourself to become dismissive and numb but seek out like-minded souls.  You will recognize who can provide advice and encouragement and a healthy growth process. Curate your group to promote intelligent awareness in an atmosphere of hope. Dissonance and dormancy are not doom.

    Resistance Is Never Futile – We each will be given a chance to spend our night on the watchtower, but you don’t need to spend every night there. Consider dissonance and discord invitations to accept maturity. We are putting away childish things. The sky is NOT falling, but the climate is under legitimate scientific threat. Strategize ways to take useful action. This is an opportunity to show self-love, as well as love for the group, the environment, the world and the future. The attitude, “I care about you so I’m going to take care of you”,  keeps us sensitive to the message of Universal Love that is always waiting breathlessly to embrace us.

    Suit Up for the Long Haul – Goddesses increase their peripheral senses. Learn how to check for honesty. Test for reality. Check past accounts. Interview friends AND enemies. Is somebody pushing too hard? Trying to “sign you up?” How do they treat wait-staff? Do they speak disrespectfully of others? What’s their philosophy of life?

    When It’s Too Good to Be True – That often means the trap is just about to be sprung. Goddess think for themselves.

    Models & Mentors – Great things are not accomplished by those who yield to fads, trends and popular opinion”

    – Jack Kerouac

    “Better to fail in originality than succeed in imitation”

    – Herman Melville

    “If you don’t fit in, you’re probably doing the right thing” – Henry David Thoreau

    “Conformity is the jailer of freedom and the enemy of growth” – John F. Kennedy

    #Haiku: Depth Psychology

    Substrata

    Dissonance?

    Game on!

    Unearth yourself –

    Transect core

    Meanings

  • Becoming a Goddess – the Goddess Oracle by Alysse Aallyn

    Duality – Ambivalence

    Some People Prefer Risk.   They don’t feel alive unless the situation is dangerous. What kind of goddess are you? The dangerous kind? Can you rush eternity? A hastened Immortality might not happen. More typical is ambivalence. We both want and don’t want – at the same time.

    How Many Different Goddesses Are You? Sometimes we dream disturbingly about things we don’t want and people we aren’t. Feminists dream of rape, vegetarians dream of meat, pacifists dream of fighting.  It’s confusing. What gives?

    Language Isn’t Subtle Enough to Explain You – Your personality manifests all feelings, all thoughts, all ideas, rippling through you in a vast subconscious river. Everyone’s does; not only those who choose to be Immortal. Your unconscious connects with the “collective unconscious” of all other humans – dead, alive, even fictional. They ripple through you regularly. That’s where all your ‘strange thoughts” and “other personalities” come from.

    Why isn’t “hate-love” a word? You experience that regularly. How about “fear-attraction”? Common! What I’m suggesting is that we need to accept the fact that a “personality” is a dynamism, not a label.

    Goddess Challenge – Facing your own fluid multiplicity might seem the toughest part, but it isn’t for artists, who routinely “play” along their edge, peeking over it and imagining life on the other side. Art is the best way to express this, an enormous relief since it’s non-committal. You can stop experimenting any time you choose. It’s a goddess power also. Of course, you’ll have to face the surprise of your relatives when your work becomes public: “Where did THAT come from?” But if truth be told, we’ve always been surprised we’re related to those people.

    Goddess Danger – Society seeks to label, limit and stigmatize. Everyone is afraid of becoming what they fear but Goddesses need to explore and ultimately manage our fear. A simple safe word won’t work when people – bankers, politicians, therapists, employers – are so fundamentally untrustworthy. That is why our identification of ourselves as Brave Goddess is so vital. The vastness of our potential can never be controlled by language. We will never be butterflies pinned down in a museum box for the instruction/curiosity of others.

    Goddess Opportunity – Appreciate your Multiplicitous Self.  Don’t slam the door on any of your potentialities too soon. Sometimes the worst labeler, the most determined jailor, is our own punitive psyche. We are deeply afraid of wandering in the forest and losing the way to get home safe. But Goddesses carry Home within them. As Nelson Mandela used to quote from his prison cell, if we are the captains of our  souls we can be the masters of our fates. (Henley.) We can learn to tolerate a little ambiguity/uncertainty/ambivalence.

    Goddess Tolerate Uncertainty – Being a goddess is all about balance.  The experience of balance-seeking is indescribable linguistically – it must be felt experientially. Goddesses learn to live in a world beyond language where we can savor uncertainty and foretaste eternity.

    Goddess Relish Paradox – Two contraries not only exist together but empower each other – that creative tension is the lifeblood of emotion, imagination and personality.

    Goddess Coast on the Knife-Edge of Ambivalence – The desired is undesirable, the only possibility is impossible and the act of wanting forbids getting. In the Multiverse (Eternity) all your impossibles are actually happening. Goddesses must become comfortable with the pleasures of this dance: “My future dissolves in beads of sweat, my present is my mirror, my past’s a shape-shifting whirligig.” (Aallyn)

    Even Leaders Must Contemplate the Power of  Surrender – We contemplate Everything. Physics is magic and dreams embody history. This quantum world of “spooky entanglements” is one in which we goddesses become expert. We accept not only that the cave we fear holds the treasure we desire, but that we are both cave and treasure, indeed, fear itself.

    Models & Mentors –  “It seems we are capable of immense love and loyalty and as capable of deceit and atrocity. It is this shocking ambivalence that makes us unique.” – John Scott

    “Ambivalence is a wonderful tune to dance to. It has a rhythm all its own.”

    – Erica Jong

    “The Simpsons is about alienation and the ambivalence of living with a family who you love but drives you crazy”

    – Matt Groening

    “Poetry is the home of ambiguity, ambivalence and uncertainty.” – Billy Collins

    #Haiku: Yin/yang

    Inclined to spring forward

    Fade back; yin;

    Urge to return?

    Float forward;

    Yang.