Category: love

  • The Book of You – Haiku Diary by Alysse Aallyn

    #Haiku: The Storm

    Ionized

    We spin;

    Your upside down –

    My right side’s up.

    Teeth bared we…

    Kiss?

  • Butterfly Language for Caterpillars – Soulmate Seeking with Alysse Aallyn

    The Daisy = LOVE “Is love real?” “Love Waves”

                Love is the secret. Love is the answer. Love is what we say we feel when we look into the Soulmate’s eyes According to our long, rich tradition of romantic literature, it’s a connection/identification with someone else so powerful (and so rewarding) you would walk through fire for that person. 

                Biblically defined as:

                “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres” 

                Love is the opposite of the winner/loser “fuck you” ethos. 

                Love is patient. We can’t expect the Soulmate to be on the same page with us immediately, or all the time. We must work out our differences, analyze our difficulties and strategize        solutions. Love takes time.

                Love is kind. We handle each other gently, with care. Thoughtfully, with reverence. Slowly. Savoring.

                Love does not envy. We are not competitive with each other. When we wrestle, it is in play, for joy, not because we want to         trounce the Soulmate or knock the feet out from under the Beloved.

                Love does not boast. We are not seeking to impress each other. Love is not a hierarchy where we can lift our status above the Loved One.

                Love is not proud. We can admit fault. We can say we are sorry. We can weep with the Beloved and we can begin again.

                Love does not dishonor others. There is no “score”, no winner  and no loser. We don’t take tattletales of the Beloved to friends, family, social media or the public space. 

                Love is not self-seeking. It is not transactional: “what can I get out of this” “you are not giving enough” “you are not making me look good.”

                Love is not easily angered. We resist anger, touchiness, rage over our wounded narcissistic self-importance. If we are angry we cannot join, touch each other, embrace whole-heartedly or solve problems. When you get angry over a problem, now you have two problems. 

                Love keeps no record of wrongs. When we say, “I forgive you”, we mean it.

                Love does not delight in evil. We do not seek the diminishment or disrespect of the other. Popular “bondage” and “sadism” games that memorialize the helplessness and subjection of the Other are dangerous, volatile and can be triggers of past dangers and will map out a bleak and lonely future.

                Love rejoices in the truth. The truth evolves because our brains evolve. Truth is a process as our lives are a process. We are all heading for an end goal – both together and separately – if we        can   figure out what it is. Truth is our ally in this dilemma, because it tells us the real results of all our strategies which allows us to calibrate our efforts and improve our outcomes.         We must speak truth to each other and we must grow in stature enough to dare to speak truth to Power.

                Love protects. We shelter. We nourish. We steward. We cherish. We assess. We unite.

                Love always trusts. We believe. We have the best assurance that God is good and that truth, justice and love will win in the end.

                Love always hopes. Things will get better tomorrow. We will         work towards constant improvement.

                Love perseveres. We will never quit. We are in this for the long haul.

    Meditation:  I am part of all I have met  – Tennyson

    #Haiku: Love Waves

    Sound travels forever

    Like love;

    Stars’ boundless dance

    Launched

    By mortal hearts

  • Butterfly Language for Caterpillars – Soulmate Seeking with Alysse Aallyn

    Spring = HOPE “Peacock Pavement”

    “It’s always spring within”

    Spring means beginning, freshness, newness. It starts small – barely recognizable – the tiniest frond of green among the blackness, calling forth an answering shiver from somewhere deep inside us.

    We are told that every cell in our body replaces itself in seven years, so springtime is a constant within us. The best thing about Spring, to my way of thinking, is that it replaces winter. I am not a winter person, though I am told some are. I usually experience a sense almost of hopelessness, right before the end. Spring is the cure for hopelessness. Spring is hope itself.

    In the darkest season of loneliness, we must find reason for hope, and the reason is always the same: refreshment and rebirth are coming. We participate in the rejuvenation of the world. We transform ourselves into turnaround specialists, turning around hopelessness and a quitter mentality into can-do optimism & strategies.

    The green plant finds a way to surge forth, the beetles wait in the earth until their time is right, the egg contains a perfect hummingbird. So we strip away our fears, negativity and hopelessness to foster the growth inside, growth in the belief that our Soulmate is right around the corner.

    PEACOCK PAVEMENT


    Femininity has its Everests –
    I will climb them daily.
    The crow’s belly’s is black,

    Envy his womb-less contentment as I stroll 
    Among the old wrappers, used condoms;
    Joints rolled tight as bedsheets

    Letters used – abused – discarded.
    Crow envies me my
    Zircon hair; a lunar map of freedom,

    Battering-ram jaw, baroque nose, the
     Greek depths through which
    My eyes record their wanderings

    Outside the convent walls, between
    The stalls, corrals, the chained-up lambs,
    The leaf-filled swimming pools:

    First act, second act, third act
    Epilogue. Number days by counting
    Depth marks round your taproot

    Showing off sporadic questings not my own
    Belonging to some future – all
    Unknowing what anyone will make

    Of these Portentous Pleiades:
    Disparate sisters,
    Me, myself and I.

  • Butterfly Language for Caterpillars – Soulmate Seeking with Alysse Aallyn

    Meditation = MINDFULNESS “the Poet On Her Walk”

    “Understanding and accepting the moment”

    Meditation is the Art of Looking Deeply. It takes concentration and practice and all the gifts that makes us human – but our physical, mental and cultural “tics” – fight against our cultivation of this vital skill. We must master our physicality to engage our brain in Deep Looking.

    Begin with the breath, inhale, exhale, calm the tumult in our blood. As thoughts appear, set them one by one before your Inner Eye and turn each over in your mind without judgment. We are just floating by. The goal is to learn to feel compassion for the creatures of this earth; so that ultimately we can calm the tumult in everyone’s life journeys.

    Before our eyes now is our yearning for our Other Half. If we are living in the past growth hurts like a requiem for a Lost Self. Yet deep looking into our “now” will rescue us from past suffering. We see past the pain of our perceived unworthiness and the inadequacy of others to the universal healing magic that is love. We perform the “thought experiment” of transforming our minds in order to recognize the Beloved and be recognized by them. This is the most powerful charm; a transformation that solves our earthborn dilemma.

    Meditation is quieting and emptying. Once we soothe the rattle of panic and hysteria that infects each of us through the pressure of living, learn not to react to the “what ifs” and “shoulds”, the fears and preconceptions, we will become our own crystal ball. Push gently on the inevitable thought-balloons drifting through the cathedral of our minds and let them go. When we master the breath, we seize control of life itself.

    Find a “mantra.” Some use prayer – I suggest St. Julian of Norwich’s “All will be well, and all things will be well.” or “the light in me honors the light in the world” or “I am peace” works as well. Feel free to invent your own mantra. Give yourself permission to take loving charge of thoughts and body. Be a tender mother to your new self. When you support your shy new self, you practice welcoming the Beloved. Picturing ocean waves rushing in, then rushing out again along the sand. Relax all your muscles, one by one. Wait. Begin again. Continue until flooded with peace.

    The Poet on Her Walk

    Who dares malign
    The intellectual consolations of this morning
    When every leaf becomes the corner of a star
    And every pond a covenant. Where
    Isles of light illumine
    Tracts of water – blind the
    Spaces where I first saw you.
    Transfix my grief with
    Arrows of wisdom
    Dissolve the veil that
    Separates me from
    Myself; eight years old.

    Who are you that I should fear to
    Stroke you wrong, dissolving pride in
    Mansions of darkness that hood your eyes; the
    Terrible readiness , the
    Dissipated resolution;
    Deepening the silence
    Deepening between us
    Like the ocean between us;
    The silence of wheatfields
    Waiting for wind

  • Butterfly Language for Caterpillars – Seeking a Soulmate with Alysse Aallyn

    Chrysalis = Potential

    “Hot Prowl”

    The Chrysalis looks dead; that is its disguise. A simple, broken leaf, soon to be swept away by wind or rain. But in fact, it’s a puzzle box that holds the whole universe inside itself; an unbroken chain of DNA, an augury of “becoming” dating from the dawn of Life itself. So is each of us a Chrysalis…of what? For what?

    We are powerhouses seeking ignition. We can feel the slow-gathering strength within, but we are still mysteries to ourselves. We need the Other to become a Full Being. Plato posited that man/woman are separated angels endlessly seeking their other half. Your duty is to protect the chrysalis so that it can unfold in its own good time. Be patient, your day of flight and connection comes ever closer.

    HOT PROWL

    Don’t wake up.
    Surveilled by night
    Your chiseled torso
    Slackened with exhaustion.
    Touching things that once
    You touched,
    Listening to your apnea;
    I turn away before you turn.
    Making peace with all my choices.
    It’s been worth everything –
    Winning in divorce a
    Hard-won superpower:
    Invisibility

  • The Language of Butterflies – walking the Path of Attachment with Alysse Aallyn

    The path = GOALS -“A swan’s wing shows”

    “What do you want REALLY?”

    Tantra is the Path of Attachment. Being is travel. Movement. Closing in on a possible, seemingly viable Soulmate, we need to move forward slowly, checking items off our list and paying close attention to the items on THEIR LIST.

    That’s the focus of the passage we call “The Path” – bringing your intra-psychic “lists” to consciousness. Because you are always operating with a list, whether you are aware of it or not, but some of the items on it might be seriously out of date, illogical, contradictory or downright pernicious. (Such as, “I need my partner to guarantee they’ll never get sick or grow old.”)

    Think deeply about your dreams and do your best to verbalize them, if only to yourself or to a trusted other. Some of us benefit by writing it down. Accept that goals evolve because…we are alive. Being is travel, remember?

    Goals are all about communication. With yourself first, then with others. As we feel our way forwards, our goals change. Having a partner who’s the same as we are (an introvert, a careerist, a Democrat, to give a few examples) may suddenly stop being so important as we connect on a deeper plane. Some of our goals were designed to protect us, and it may be that as we begin to trust our partner and grow ourselves we need less and less protection.

    Being is Travel. As we shape the Path, it shapes us. Even the most anti-social creatures are constantly making paths for others to follow. Such delight when we uncover a ready-made Path! (Path-making is exhausting!) Such a mysterious invitation! Paths must lead Somewhere. Paths speak of Destination, Intention, Design, History. Every Path, Visible or not, speaks of the existence of The Other. Paths are our Robinson Crusoe footprint. They represent Hope: this Path worked not just once, but many times. We are proud of being Pathmakers in our turn, leading the weary, frightened traveler of the future toward confidence and reliability.

    Goals

    A swan’s wing shows
    The universe.
    No surprise to me –
    From this small window I see
    More than I can ever
    Understand; still I cast my nets
    And still I’m sinking;
    Restless; forced to move
    This unfriendly virus IS my blood –
    I see it in your eyes
    Thirties wasted and nothing come.
    It never quite meets –
    Attempt and reach.
    I see it in my dreams which
    Introduce me to the dead;
    Protect my essence from the hive.
    Wrapped tightly in this web of
    Earthly light; we
    Pray for mystery, glory; thought & sight.

  • #DreamTherapy – Dream Journaling with Alysse Aallyn

    Addiction – Do you dream of imprisonment? Blank walls? Chains? Our neurocircuitry mandates habit-making behavior, but our intelligence usually recognizes when we are trapped, and our dreams send distress signals.

    There’s No Escaping Addiction – But we have tremendous choice over what we become addicted to. Visit an AA meeting and the consumption of sugar and tobacco is outright alarming. Are you addicted to gambling? Do you work in sales? Were you raised in a ritualistic faith? We easily become dependent on praise, on safety, on gratification, and our brains (and our general health) show our dependency. They threaten us when the “treat” is withdrawn.

    Challenge – Open your Dream Journal and list your “Necessary sources of supply: substances and activities you can’t live without. Are you co-dependent? (Addicted to people.) Who? If you fear you are approaching a cliff-edge, you probably are. One test is to go on a “retreat” where your customary gratifications are not available, and attempt to form new gratifications. See what happens! This is such a good idea, we should build it into our lives, periodically. Just to keep us from the cliff-edge. Open-mindedly try all “freeing’ methods until you seize the one that works for you.

    Danger – There is always the chance that we will lose our autonomy. We may want to change, we know we SHOULD change, but we CAN’T. We need outside help. This is the purpose of interventions, to demonstrate to our eyes and ears that we are harming ourselves and our relationships. Denial is a powerful defense mechanism, especially when we think we’ve finally found a substance/process that “magically” allows us to live on our particular cliff-edge – a dangerous job, risky sexual behaviors, threat-filled recreational behaviors. We then have the choice of refusing to listen – giving up our relationships to keep up our self-abuse. Some hardened wretches tell anyone who listens that life itself isn’t worth it without their life-threatening self-abuse. Numbing themselves is the way they “choose” to die.

    Opportunity – You not only CAN free yourself, you MUST. It is a spiritual obligation to live this life as an enlightenment opportunity. Are you familiar with the saying, “Live simply so that others may simply live”? It means sharing honestly with others. That means studying your consumption, and scheduling time to be alone with the universe and with God, to check on the hardiness of your Soul.

    Models & Mentors – “You can’t defeat the darkness by keeping it caged inside you” – Seth Adam Smith

    “All addictions are ways to not feel our feelings”
    Ellen Burstyn

    “Sometimes you can only find heaven by backing slowly away from hell”
    Carrie Fisher

    “Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out”.

    Robert Collier

    “The most common way people give up their power is thinking they don’t have any” – Alice Walker

    Mantra – “I feel my life”

    Meditation –

    #Haiku: Addiction

    Brain cells beggared;
    Lovelorn
    Oxytocin receptors misfire
    “Feed me!”

  • Becoming a Goddess – the Goddess Oracle

    Sex – Soulmates

    Can a Goddess Find Her Soulmate – It’s a challenge!  You are used to being large and in charge, decisive and capable of sweepingly instantaneous change.  You require another soaring spirit to match your skills. 

    Have you been dreaming of the “other”?  In the multiverse, everything we do creates its opposite. Do you look in the mirror and see another face? Do you dream of a lost twin? Do you imagine you can feel that “other” across a crowded room, and think when you touch their hand, you will feel a strange galvanic charge?  Are you a cynic about soulmates?  Disenchanted with sex? Do you have sex dreams that are more like night terrors? Does sex make you feel increasingly hardened and untouchable?

    Soulmates Are Real and You Have One – Soulmates need to “create” each other.  It’s never too late. You are never so “lost” you can’t find your soulmate. The problem is, your soulmate feels just the way you do and both of you are threatened by those feelings, isolating you further in an invisible, impenetrable membrane you’ve mistaken as Goddess-hood. But Goddess Power never diminishes, it evolves.  Recognition and acceptance of our own neediness takes a lot of bravery, a lot of humility, much insight and a little magic.

    Desire Can Be Slaked – Temporarily. Goddesses stay alert. We don’t pursue numbness – or even satiety. It’s good to get acquainted with hunger. Pro tip – hunger keeps you young. Hunger is a condition of youth.

    When Goddesses Bond There is No Going Back. – The potential magic of sexual connection ignites the search for a SoulMate. Goddesses believe that once found, a Soul Pair becomes capable of Time Travel, TransSubstantiation, and Immortality.  Genders merge; either one can be feminine, masculine or androgyne at will. One wing searches for another to form a bird and fly. The question we must ask ourselves is: are we willing to undergo the pain of having the boundaries of our borders breached to fully merge with another?

    Goddesses Lift Each Other’s Souls – The power of a doubled pair is raised to the nth power by their knowledge, commitment and shared purpose.

    Goddesses Release Each Other – There are so many permissions, forgivenesses, and skills we cannot give ourselves. Love literally gives you eyes in the back of your head. There is no hiding from your soulmate.

    Doubled Goddesses Power the Universe – The constant clash of mating, sharing, satisfying and negotiating is the music of the spheres. It keeps us all spinning in an ecstasy of selfless selfhood.

    Goddess Challenge – There are plenty of frogs out there and some vipers, and you will kiss each. Possibly more than once. It’s also possible that we have “rewired” our system – through porn, games, and casual sex – so that it actually prevents us from recognizing a soulmate and forging a life bond. This is why starting as friends is so critical. It gets your defenses down to the point where you can talk about fears, desires and problematic reactions. Go slowly, welcome mistakes and be prepared to learn. Because of our enhanced powers, goddesses have more to learn than most people.

    Goddess Danger – Sometimes – let’s face it – most times, you and your soulmate are “sick.”  You have “caught” infection from a society that says “fuck you” to eternal, mystical, mutual sexual union. That makes things hard. You don’t recover overnight. You must commit to good mental, emotional, physical, spiritual and sexual hygiene and you will both have to figure out what it is. You need to make a plan – yes, a map – out of each other’s minds and bodies. If the other person refuses to accept health you will have to detach for your own sanity and safety. Vampires make other vampires, and bliss will elude them. The most important part of soulmating is the mutual pledge for health and growth – for both of you.

    Goddess Opportunity – My book, I’ll Sleep When You’re Dead – is about the supernatural powers of soulmates. It’s about what to do when you dislike and distrust your soulmate at first. It’s about what to do when you and your soulmate both have horrific pasts and are pursued by actual demons.  I can’t say it clearer than that. Don’t be frightened. Your bond is eternal, across time, geography and multiverses.  Take it slow. You have all the time in the multiverse.

    Bereavement Is Never the End – As life itself is not the end, bereavement cannot be. The glory of bliss still awaits, and detached Soulmates have been known to find each other and form new spiritual and physical connections.

    Models & Mentors – “A soulmate’s purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life and then introduce you to your spiritual master” – Elizabeth Gilbert

    “A soulmate is the one person whose love is powerful enough to motivate you to meet your soul to do the emotional work of self-discovery and awakening”

    – Kenny Loggins

    “They fought all the time and challenged each other every day. They were crazy about each other” – Nicholas Sparks

    “I know what love is, because of you.” – Herman Hesse

    #Haiku: I’ll Sleep When You’re Dead

    Only soulmates can

    Slay each other’s dragons

    Says Tibetan Master