Andrew looked up from the Food section of the Sunday Times. “Did he jump out of his coffin and give everybody the finger?”
“No.” I sat down on a Brazilian leather cube impersonating a chair. “He left me a lot of money.”
That made Arnold sit up straight. Finally I had produced something worthy to compete with three- melon risotto. “How much?”
“A lot.” Two beats. “All of it.”
I hadn’t seen Arnold this excited in a long time. “This is the uncle we never once went to visit, even though he only lived in New Rochelle?”
“He’s the one.”
“And there are a lot of other relatives…” I saw the penny drop. “Is this the same guy who used to feel you up when you were little?”
“He’s the one.”
Arnold whistled. “Wow!” he said, “Break out the champagne! Let’s drink to old fashioned Calvinist guilt!”
But I couldn’t drink. “There’s an unpaid
housekeeper who says she’ll sue.” I tried dismissing that
ugly scene from my mind. But ugly scenes don’t go so easily.
“Screw her,” he laughed, “Doubtless the old man did. To the one who got away!” he snorkled. “With…” drum-roll on the glass coffee table… “all the money!”
“I could split it with her,” I said thoughtfully. “Except that I need it all.” And if I divorced Arnold, I’d have to split it with him.
His eyes narrowed over my unusual decisiveness. “Sounds like you’ve made a plan.”
“I have. I’m pregnant and I’m moving.”
He rose to pursue me to the kitchen. I was the pursued one now.
“Rich? Pregnant? Moving?” He banged his palm against his chest. “It’s a lot to handle for one afternoon. Where are you going, oh helpmeet?”
“Upstate. The country.” There was no champagne. Of course not. There had been nothing to celebrate for so, so long. I poured us each an apple juice. “You could come with.” Two beats. “But you’d have to give up your girlfriend.”
Surprise! I saw him try to toss it off and keep on dancing. “What’s that? Getting jealous are we? Symptomatic of your condition?”
“Gayle.” I leaned forward, giving back the name. “She sent me such a charming letter.” In which she stated her utter non-comprehension of why the moody bitch wouldn’t just step aside and let the poor, kind, considerate man go free. Ugh. Apple juice is disgustingly sweet. I’ve never understood how adults can covet the provinces of children. Poor little sugar addicts, they are ruined before they start. I tried adding powdered tea from a mix. Still bad. The no-liquor lifestyle is a tough sell.
He was sputtering like a damp firecracker. But it was not Arnold’s turn to speak.
“Screwing students is the beginning of the end for a teacher. You’re lucky she notified me and not the superintendent.”
Unfortunately I could always read Arnold’s mind. He really needs to get some more interesting thoughts. I saw him deciding he’d better stop aimless denial until confronted with the evidence against him.
“Why upstate?” he bartered, testing me. “Why not, say, Europe?”
“Because,” I answered, “I like to get something for my money.” That alone made me my uncle’s worthy heir. Glittering silver dollars lit the darkened rooms of memory. I persisted — for I’m nothing if not persistent — “Haven’t you heard of the curse of the lottery winner? They spend it all and then some. I want a property I can buy outright – debt-free.” Wouldn’t it be heaven owing nobody nothing?
He toddled toward the window on his be- jeaned insect legs. He looks much better in big-boy pants. Was he trying to imagine life without me? Or without New York? So I sealed the deal with a siren song. “You could finish your screenplay…”
Amy liked Aunt Petra from the moment she first met her, because Aunt Petra was the only
grown-up who understood about the ghost room.
It was Amy who carried Aunt Petra’s suitcase up the stairs and showed her into the Blue
Room, because Amy’s mother was busy with lunch.
“I wonder why they didn’t put me in the ghost room,” said the guest, not even looking around her cheery boudoir before flinging herself on the bed and wrapping herself like a caterpillar in her paisley
pashmina.
Amy’s heart beat faster. “How did you know?” she gasped. Aunt Petra hadn’t even toured the house. The door to the ghost room was always closed and as directed, Amy had tried to scuttle past without
glancing in its direction.
“It felt cold, for one thing,” said Aunt Petra. “Several degrees colder than the rest of the
house. Brrr.“ She shivered. “I’m still cold.”
“Mom says it’s the furthest from the furnace,” Amy told her, “But when we put in an electric
heater it kept shorting out.”
Aunt Petra laughed. “Never heard yet of a ghost who mastered electricity, but I’m prepared to
believe it’s possible.”
82 – Awake Till the End – Stories by Alysse Aallyn
That’s when Amy decided she liked Aunt Petra so much. She offered, since her aunt didn’t appear to be moving “Would you like me to unpack for
you?”
“That would be wonderful,” said her aunt, so Amy opened the suitcase. Clothes and books and cartons of cigarettes and pill bottles were just thrown in haphazardly, but Amy took things out carefully one by one, folded them the way her mother had taught her. She
gave each category of item its own drawer in the highboy.
“I see you have a scientific mind like your father,” Aunt Petra commented. “Would you please hand over those cigarettes?” As soon as she had them in
hand she lit one and puffed on it fiercely.
“I’m going to be an artist,” objected Amy, although she wasn’t supposed to correct or even “talk back” to adults, which meant never pointing out they were obviously wrong. Then, “Mother says those things
will kill you.”
“Everything kills you,” sighed her aunt. “Everything, everything. You’ve got to take your pick.” She coughed heavily. “Allow me to serve as a bad
example.” swinging her feet, and reverted to the subject she really
Amy sat on the slipper chair, wanted to discuss. “There’s the smell,” she offered.
Aunt Petra looked at her floral cigarette in surprise so Amy elaborated, “In the ghost room. We washed it down in disinfectant and Mother had the rat man in but there was no getting rid of it. It comes
and goes.”
83 – Awake Till the End – Stories by Alysse Aallyn
”Very interesting,” said Petra in her drawling voice. “This will allow us to identify the ghostly
presence. What exactly does it smell like?” Amy considered. A question she
had never been asked before. “Dirty feet.”
“Ah,” said Petra. “I recognize that one. It’s the stench of neglect. Neglect and consequent
regret. Truthfully, do you go in there often?”
And although Amy had been forbidden to enter the room if she was going to insist on talking about the ghost, she liked Aunt Petra so much she
answered honestly. “Yes.” “So have you seen this ghost?”
Amy nodded gravely. “And you, Aunt Petra? Have you ever seen a ghost?”
“No,” said Aunt Petra, “I never have and I never will. Some people are gifted one way and some another.” She stubbed out her cigarette in the water glass Amy’s mother had thoughtfully provided for quite another purpose. Amy was too surprised by the revelation that you could believe in ghosts without ever seeing one to notice. Aunt Petra was certainly a strange species of grownup. So Amy asked, “But why would you want to
believe in ghosts? I mean if you didn’t have to?”
“When you get older you’ll find it very nice to believe that life doesn’t come to a full stop just because we’re no longer physically around,” her aunt responded. “Anyone over thirty is already a big fan of
84 – Awake Till the End – Stories by Alysse Aallyn
second chances.” She smoked. ‘And third and fourth. Infinite chances are very attractive.”
“Well Mother doesn’t believe in ghosts. She took me to the doctor.” Amy hated the fat doctor whose fingers smelled of penicillin. He was only good for shots. And sure enough, he gave her a vitamin shot. Vitamin B12 to cure her of ghosts. Amy had been afraid it would work, but of course it didn’t. Thinking about it, she ran her finger thoughtfully around the rim of
the empty suitcase.
“Know what’s especially amazing about it all?” asked Petra. “Your mother was half your age
when she saw her first ghost.”
me!”
Amy squealed incredulously. “Tell
“Well, our high school was right next to the kindergarten and so I always walked your mother home after class. And one day my appendix burst right in the middle of gym – I was rushed to the hospital but in the excitement everyone forgot about your mother completely. She waited until it was dark and then she tried walking home alone. She said this dog – she described him perfectly with his long droopy ears and the spot to the right of his nose – was following her. And he had such a friendly face he gave her courage. She knew he wouldn’t allow anything bad to happen to her. Then when
she got home he disappeared.” Amy jumped up and down in her
excitement. “And the dog was a ghost?”
“It was my dog Peanut who died long before your mother was even born. We had no pictures of him and we never talked about him, so how
85 – Awake Till the End – Stories by Alysse Aallyn
could she have known? I wished I could have been the one to see him but I was grateful to him for walking her home. I liked thinking he was there.”
“You should tell her she saw a ghost,” insisted Amy. “She doesn’t even know!”
“Oh, you know your mother,” said Petra comfortably. “She wouldn’t believe either of us. We should give thanks instead for her practical head. Look at this beautiful room. And I know in advance that dinner
will be delicious and healthy.” Amy cared not a fig for house-
keeping. “I wish our ghost was a dog.” “Tell me all about him.” Aunt Petra
fixed her niece with a bright, beady stare.
“He’s an old man in a rocking chair. The rocking chair’s a ghost, too. He sits with a finger in the Bible, looking out the window at the frozen pond. He
never ever looks at me. Not once.”
“Maybe you’re a ghost to him,” said Petra. “What’s he look like?”
“He has white hair brushed straight up. And overalls. And boots with big looping laces that touch the floor. And his face is all wrinkly. His earlobes
dangle almost to his shoulders.”
“I can just see him,” said Petra. “Doesn’t he ever read the Bible? Just looks at the pond? I
wonder if I know what he’s thinking.”
86 – Awake Till the End – Stories by Alysse Aallyn
“I don’t see how you could.” Did ghosts have thoughts? Amy was astonished.
“He’s probably thinking he’s useless and his life is over. Wanting to jump right into that pond
but afraid of what will happen.”
“He must have jumped if he’s a “Maybe he regrets it.” “He ought to go to heaven with the
ghost,” said Amy. rest of the spirits and stop bothering us,” said Amy
heatedly. the doorway. “Let Aunt Petra rest before dinner. She’s had
a long trip.” said Amy, and Aunt Petra backed her up.
“Maybe we should tell him that.” “Amy!” Amy’s mother appeared in
“I wasn’t bothering her, honest,”
“We were having a wonderful talk.”
Downstairs her mother gave Amy a hug. “I know Petra wishes she had a little girl like you.”
“Well, why doesn’t she get one?”
Amy’s mother tapped a wooden spoon uncomfortably against her left cheek. “You know
mothers need a daddy to make a baby.”
“Well, why doesn’t she get one of those?” It was terrible the way grownups acted powerless
all the time when they had all the power in the world.
87 – Awake Till the End – Stories by Alysse Aallyn
“Because she looks like hell warmed over,” said Amy’s father, sitting at the kitchen table with
his newspaper. “Marriage isn’t just about looks!”
“Bob!” barked Amy’s mother. “She acts snarky and superior too,”
said Amy’s dad. “Nobody likes that.”
“But you want me to be superior,” argued Amy. “You put me in the advanced class and made
me skip second grade.” “Just know you are superior without
acting that way,” said her father, confusingly.
Amy didn’t believe him for a minute. Aunt Petra was so easy to talk to she could probably explain to Amy the most puzzling problem of all: the difference between insides and outsides. How come people looked one way and felt another? In the following days she hung around her aunt, who never chased Amy away or acted bored by her company. She was the first to
tell Amy that her name meant “Loved.”
“The one who is loved. Could there be a better name? That says it all. My name means
“stone”.” change it,” said Amy. Aunt Petra was the one always
“If you don’t like it you should saying life was all about choice.
“Some things you’re stuck with,” said Petra. “Some things you can fix. It takes a lot of living
to tell the difference.”
88 – Awake Till the End – Stories by Alysse Aallyn
Of course she wanted Amy to take her to the ghost room. Aunt Petra told her sister that the light was just right for watercolors and so Amy’s mother allowed a special dispensation. At the doorway Aunt Petra halted, spread her arms and chanted,“Cold Huntsman,
depart, take your knife from out my heart.”
Cold Huntsman?”
Amy was impressed. “Who’s the
“The Cold Huntsman is Death,” said Petra. “It was just something we used to say when we were children, going anywhere scary. It’s a big help when passing graveyards by the light of the moon. It must have worked because I’m still here. Let me know when the
ghost comes back.”
Amy considered it a lot more exciting to be a child in the olden days, walking by yourself to school and strolling past graveyards by the light of the moon. No one she knew was allowed to get away with anything like that now. Parents seemed to
assume everything was fatal
Gratefully she offered, “Would you like me to paint a picture of you?”
“I would love that.” “It will be a picture of your insides,”
said Amy, “because I can’t do people’s outsides yet.”
“Better and better,” said Petra. “It’s just my insides that I care about. How can one girl get so
lucky?”
Aunt Petra was the perfect model, because all she wanted was to lie there. So Amy drew her with a face like the sun. Then one day the ghost came back.
89 – Awake Till the End – Stories by Alysse Aallyn
“He’s there,” she told Aunt Petra through chattering teeth. It was colder than it had ever been, and she felt a deep sense of horror, like she had
somehow made things worse.
Petra sat right up and threw off her pashmina. “I’m going to tell him he can go,” she said.
“Leave us.”
Amy waited in Petra’s room in an agony of excitement. When Aunt Petra finally returned her face was gray with exhaustion. She threw herself on the
bed.
“He’s gone,” she said.
“Did you see him?”
“I didn’t need to see him, I could feel him. I went and stood in his place right by the window.
Where he must have been sitting.” “You must have made him so
angry,” whispered Amy. “Was he the Cold Huntsman?”
“No. The Cold Huntsman had come and gone. I told him what he chose was the right thing and everyone else forgave him so we wanted him to forgive
himself.”
“And then?” “And then he went away. I think for
good. I hope so. We’ll see.”
“Let’s tell Mom!”
Amy jumped wildly up and down.
90 – Awake Till the End – Stories by Alysse Aallyn
But Petra made herself very small, under her shawl on the big bed. “When you grow up you will learn there are some things you can never tell
anybody.”
After Aunt Petra left the ghost didn’t come back. The room warmed up and the stink went away. Amy’s mom wouldn’t let Amy move her bed in there, but she was allowed to put her art table in the ghost’s place, under the window. Petra was right; the ghost had sat in the very best light. Amy was working there one day when she had the funniest feeling. She turned around and there was
Aunt Petra, lying under a shawl on the bed, eyes closed. Amy burst through the kitchen door
wailing. “Aunt Petra’s dead!”
Her mother’s face was stained with tears. “I should have told you,” she sobbed, “but I didn’t
know the best way. How on earth did you guess?”
But although Amy was a long way from grown up she had finally learned that there are some
Here’s more fodder for my theory that reality is totally submerged – it’s never what you think you see.
JAZZ
Sounds deep.
(CHASE plays with his phone, paws through lists, makes a choice, phone to ear)
CHASE
Uh oh.
JAZZ
What gives?
CHASE
Howk’s work phone at the Health Center is disconnected.
(Paws through more lists, tries another number)
And her voicemail is full. I’m listening to it now.
JAZZ
You’re listening to her voicemail?
CHASE
Default pincode. Most employees never change it. Sounds like she didn’t show up Friday and they can’t get hold of her.
JAZZ
That’s not good. Any calls from Corso?
CHASE
Not one. And that’s not good either. Let’s try something else.
(Fingers phone)
She lives at Punch Drunk Apartments. Punch Brook’s it’s name but Punch Drunk’s more appropriate to the lowly adjuncts.
JAZZ
Poor Howk.
CHASE
Not answer there either.
(Stands up)
It’s a five minute walk.
(They walk to the edge of the stage. BEX darts out, snaps a picture of them)
JAZZ
Kiss me, quick.
(Throws herself into CHASE’s arms for a long smooch. BEX exits.)
SCENE VI – HOWK’s APARTMENT
CHASE
How’d you do that?
JAZZ
Giving Bex material for his revenge porn site.
CHASE
Not what I mean. How’d we get here so fast?
JAZZ
You said it was a short walk.
CHASE
Not that short. You kissed me.
JAZZ
You liked it.
CHASE
You triggered a flashback. Maybe we’re dreaming. Maybe we’ve fallen into some weird wormhole vortex thing.
JAZZ
Ugh. Just one more crime scene. What happened here?
(She pushes a door, it falls down)
Is this even true?
CHASE
Maybe it’s meta-truth. Super-truth.
(Furniture thrown around, plants and upholstery dismembered)
Somebody had fun.
JAZZ
Why’s the multiverse such a nasty place? And what’s all this pink stuff?
CHASE
Looks like insulation. Somebody searching for something.
JAZZ
Well, they must have found it. The bedroom’s untouched.
CHASE
I don’t believe it. There’s no body?
JAZZ
I didn’t see one.
CHASE
Did you look under the bed?
JAZZ
You look under the bed! I’m opening this closet!
(Disgusting corpse falls out, suspended mid-air)
Aaargh!
CHASE
That’s Howk all right. She looks – drowned. And her skin’s all eaten off with some kind of acid.
JAZZ
I’m getting out of here. Everywhere we go is death.
CHASE
Smells like Corso. That’s Corso’s M.O. Find out what’s alive and kill it. He stinks of sulfur. My guess is he was searching for whatever she held over him. Better get the drop on him before he comes after us.
JAZZ
Maybe that sex tape?
CHASE
But that’s over at his place.
JAZZ
Maybe we’re going backwards and forwards in time. A U-turn in the multiverse.
CHASE
Maybe he killed Howk and hid her body. Remember Zane’s dream?
JAZZ
The abandoned warehouse? The toxic condemned site?
CHASE
Perfect place to stash a corpse. People are afraid to enter. Very Corso.
JAZZ
OK you solved this one. God, you’re competitive.
CHASE
History is moving us forward. It has to.
JAZZ
This just isn’t what the Tibetan monks promised me. The moment we considered love, death was everywhere.
CHASE
I prefer Dante. Dante’s my guide. He says you go through hell to get to heaven.
JAZZ
Dante! Weird subject for psych majors!
CHASE
There’s a lot about me you don’t know. You need a firm grip on purgatory to understand law.
JAZZ
I think I’m coming down with something.
CHASE
You’re coming down with me. Kiss me.
JAZZ
(Fending him off)
What if I’m infectious?
CHASE
If you’re my soulmate I’m hoping you’re infectious. Maybe I could get back my soul.
JAZZ
Where’d it go?
CHASE
Taken hostage.
JAZZ
By –
(Their kiss triggers police car lights & sirens)
You’re right, I feel better.
CHASE
Sirens when we kiss – that’s a first for me.
(They kiss more)
JAZZ
Are they after us or our crime scene?
CHASE
We’re after them. Look where we are.
JAZZ
This is my dorm! Are you thinking what I’m thinking?
CHASE
Let’s kiss forever.
SCENE VII – Outside Hadleigh, FRESHMAN DORM
(Enter SOLIZ, dressed like a security guard, stringing crime scene tape)
SOLIZ
Hey! Watch your step! Respect my perimeter! O, hi guys.
(They can’t step away – tape impedes)
JAZZ
What the hell happened here?
SOLIZ
Nobody knows. Keep moving.
JAZZ
But this is my dorm! I live here!
SOLIZ
They’re not letting anyone in. Do you know who lives in Room 824?
JAZZ
Actually, I live there.
SOLIZ
Oh, you do, do you? Well, some guy fell out your window.
(CORSO doesn’t like CHASE and JAZZ’s new alliance. They walk toward steps while lights go down on DREAM LAB. CORSO exits huffily)
Scene V – Cafe
JAZZ
You owe me a sandwich for backing up your lie, you lying liar.
CHASE
Liar? I was just being a gentleman. Don’t kiss and tell.
JAZZ
Somehow I doubt your motives.
CHASE
Never give monsters bones to make their soup.
(He shepherds JAZZ up the steps to SCENEV – CAFÉ set: table and chairs are set up beneath Tiffany lamp upstage another table with two hunched unidentifiable figures in close conversation at distant table)
Any truth you give Corso, he’ll use it against you.
(Calls offstage)
Two specials! Meat on the side! And plenty of Joe.
JAZZ
What’s the special?
CHASE
Whatever it is, it’s the only thing they didn’t make yesterday. That’s why we call it “Chem Lab”. I take it you’ve never been here before? Vegan? Gluten-intolerant? I’ll eat anything you don’t.
JAZZ
I’m on meal plan. I’m currently omnivorous but I aspire to someday be selective. How about your aspirations?
CHASE
Aspirations are good. I’m pro-aspiration. At the moment, Iaspire to anonymity.
JAZZ
You failed anonymity in dream lab.
CHASE
I had a job to do. I did it.
JAZZ
Getting yourself kicked out?
CHASE
That was inevitable. I made it through one round, and I found out what kinds of dreams everybody’s having. Now we put it together, like a psychotic jigsaw puzzle.
JAZZ
Are you ever going to tell me why are you so pissed at Corso?
CHASE
Because he took something from me and he won’t give it back.
JAZZ
Maybe. What’d he take?
CHASE
My future.
JAZZ
Can he prevent you from graduating?
CHASE
If he makes me a killer. Corso needs to be putdown like a rabid dog. It’s a dirty job but someone’s got to do it.
JAZZ
Please don’t even joke like that. Nobody can take away your future without your cooperation. Go be a lawyer. You’d make such a great lawyer. You argue with everybody.
CHASE
So help me get evidence against him and I’ll let the cops take him off my hands.
JAZZ
You’re obsessed.
CHASE
I call it goal-oriented. Russian-Irish is a volatile mixture.
JAZZ
It’s tunnel vision. There we were, standing right at the edge of the soulmate multiverse and where do you want to go? Corso’s apartment! What is it with men and threesomes?
CHASE
You went to a morgue. So what do you know about the multiverse?
JAZZ
You should have done the reading! Retrocausation. Many Worlds theory. If the universe is infinite then every possible outcome must happen somewhere.
CHASE
So I kill Corso in some other world?
JAZZ
Haven’t you heard that if you look too long at a monster you become the monster?
CHASE
Too late.
JAZZ
Are you telling me that my soulmate is a monster?
CHASE
I’m starting to see why we belong together. You should segue out of pre-fashion into pre-law.
JAZZ
I’m allergic to violence. Violence is flirtation with losing control. It gives you nowhere to go.
CHASE
You referring to that big bruiser who’s stalking you?
JAZZ
Maybe. He represents my official knowledge of crazy. But now it’s over and I don’t have to talk about it.
CHASE
“Those who make a peaceful revolution impossible make violence inevitable.”
JAZZ
Oh, please. Your evidence hunt makes sense at least. Let’s do that instead. You get to find out about Corso and I get to find out about you. Where would you go first?
CHASE
Well, I want to go to his office but I’m afraid he’s in there. That nympho-slut Nurse Howk is probably his weak link.
JAZZ
Don’t slut-shame. She’s probably one of his victims.
CHASE
Naah. She’s a fully consenting sub-monster. Didn’t she try to ooze all over you?
JAZZ
She’s just living up to the archetype. It’s one of the signs of a victim.
CHASE
Meaning what?
JAZZ
Don’t you know what an archetype is?
CHASE
I’m a psychology major, I hope I know what an archetype is. I’m asking if you know what it is, and since I’m not getting any answers, I’m going to go see what’s keeping our food.
(Stands up, exits. Big, ugly, longhaired BEX looms up from darkness and pounds his hands on JAZZ’s table)
BEX
Is that the guy? That’s the weasel you’re dumping me for?
JAZZ
Bex! I told you to get gone.
BEX
I’m just trying to talk to you since you won’t talk to me.
JAZZ
(Tries to stand up but he’s pushing the table into her)
Bex it’s over! How many ways can I say it? Don’t you have a job to get back to?
BEX
And that player doesn’t? So now I’m not good enough for you? Is that it?
JAZZ
I don’t get what you’re making a big deal about – you’re the one that said we’d never be exclusive! Go find someone else to torture!
BEX
(Leaning in threateningly)
You’re not the boss of me.
(CHASEreturns with tray)
CHASE
This dude harassing you?
JAZZ
Just go, Bex. Go home.
BEX
Who’s gonna make me?
(Two figures stand up at the distant table and advance – it’sZANE and KOO)
ZANE
Having trouble here?
(BEX knows when he’s outnumbered and retreats)
BEX
(Shouting over his shoulder)
Better get ready! This means war!
(ZANEandCHASEhigh-five,ZANEreturns to his table –KOOputs ahand onJAZZ’s shoulder)
KOO
We’ve all been there.
(ExitKOOandZANE)
CHASE
(Comforting JAZZ whose head is in her hands)
Nice guy. I think I understand what you saw in him.
JAZZ
(Writhing with mortification, sits down, head on table)
I’m so sorry. What can I say? He’s a jerk, but pickings were slim.
CHASE
(Serving sandwiches and coffee)
Hey, everyone’s entitled to at least one monster. The good news is, today’s special is meatloaf.
(JAZZ inspects inside her sandwich)
JAZZ
I think I lost my appetite.
CHASE
More for me.
JAZZ
The coffee’s good. Say, Zane and Koo! Huh?
CHASE
I know, right? Think something’s – going on there? Traumatic bonding?
JAZZ
They didn’t say anything.
CHASE
We didn’t say anything.
JAZZ
It’s hard to say anything when you don’t know what’s going on,
CHASE
More fodder for my theory that reality is totally submerged – it’s never what you think you see.
I was walking down a concrete tunnel with metal ribs. It seemed to be shifting like it was alive. It was hard to keep my feet. I felt like maybe it was on a giant truck where they shift the room around to make you fall – like at Great Adventure. There was water on the floor that looked diseased so I tried to keep out of it but it kept splashing on me. I know I’m going to get sick just like my dad warned me. When I got to the end of the tunnel I was in an abandoned dump at the end of the world – signs everywhere saying things like, TOXIC WASTE and EXTREMELY HAZAROUS. The filled with gushing water and I couldn’t get back.
RAD
Abandon hope those who enter here.
(CORSOgives him a squelching look)
ZANE
Something horrible was stalking the dump. Every now and then it darted past. I think I saw fur? I’m scared of fur. It was BIG. I could hear breathing. Maybe a bear – but when it stepped near the light I saw it had scales that glittered. It was coming right after me, kind of loping, with its back legs higher than its front. In that second I realized I had created it – like it was the most terrible thing I could think of come to life. I just took off running. I knew I couldn’t outrun it – it had too many legs. I saw a chain-link fence, but I couldn’t get over that, so I went inside this shack to hide and maybe make a barricade. Most of all I was scared of anybody seeing what a coward I was – just another big talker who’s unable to cope. It was dark in there – and the floor was all torn up – I wanted to go back but – the thing was forcingme inside. It was peering in the windows so I ducked down, I stepped on a rotten board and pitched into the water. Toxic, disgusting water – smelled like sulfur – I could feel it poisoning me, rotting me, boiling me from the inside out. My skin was falling right off my bones. Then somebody said, “Wake up” and I woke up.
(CORSO looks bored and politely incredulous)
CORSO
Charming. Our research project becomes a video game.
ZANE
(Rubbing the inside of his leg)
I was never so glad to wake up. Man, I was really running. It felt like running in flip-flops. My adductors are killing me and my paraformus feels like a rubber band.
CORSO
(Dismissive)
Anything to be learned from this puerile meandering? Could it be that the concept of “flight” itself createsa concept of falling and the context of humiliation and pursuit? I certainly wish you were all more imaginative. I see I need YEARS of work with you children to exorcise these primitive fears. Nobody has time for that. Oh, well. Too late now. It is only in the course of the research that we discover how it should have been conducted.
CHASE
Flight creates pursuit? That’s a good one!
ZANE
But I had the strangest feeling like…like I was watching myself. Like I was both inside and outside me. Like maybe I was the animal too.
SOLIZ
And I was the crowd. I felt that too.
KOO
Me, too. I definitely did.
CORSO
(Silky-voiced)
Ah, lucid dreaming. At long last, something informative. Do share.
CHASE
You said I could go next.
CORSO
Research makes no promises, Mr. Quinn. Miss Loflin?
KOO
It was…so terrible. I need to get rid of it so I can forget.
` I was working in some kind of, mortuary. These body bags were coming at me down a conveyor belt and I had to unzip them and take out the body pieces. I was unzipping, unbuttoning, zipping and unzipping, but the bodies were so smashed I couldn’t even look at them. So disgusting — you couldn’t tell they ever had been people. I thought there was people and garbage and animal parts all smashed together to trick me. To make fun of me. Someone was laughing at my expense. And some of those bags contained the remains of multiple people – a mess nobody could reassemble – a mass of legs and arms and guts. I thought this was a horrible job and I remember thinking, “Nothing is worth this. I should leave college plead bankruptcy and go work at my dad’s dealership.” I wanted to throw up the whole time.
(Gagging)
But I also felt guilty for not helping them. The heads were alive and they looked at me so pleadingly. Then in one bag I found my boyfriend Bo. He was looked accusing – I couldn’t convince him he was DEAD and I was helpless. and I just KNEW he was going to tell everyone I was responsible. Just it was all my fault! I just zipped him back up. Zipped him right back up.
(Gulping water, half crying)
Then the next one was ME. I unzipped myself. I looking at my own body. I was dead and I was mangled, and I just hadn’t realized it.
(KOO’s gasping and sobbing)
I just – lost it. Take me – take me –
TAKE ME OUT OF HERE.
(SOLIZtries to comfort sobbingKOO.)
SOLIZ
So maybe Bo IS your soulmate and in your next dream you take him out of the bag –
KOO
I’m not going back there! No, no, no, no, no!
CORSO
Please, Miss D’Accosta, no sophomoric interpretations. Good guinea pigs stay out of each other’s heads.
JAZZ
Wouldn’t soulmates be in each other’s heads?
CHASE
Me, me, me! Is it my turn now?
CORSO
By all means, Mr. Quinn, since you’re so eager to share.
CHASE
(Very smug and bad-ass)
I flew all right. Right through the air. No pursuit, no humiliation, no falling – don’t I get an A? It was like being in a wind tunnel. I went to your apartment; Doc. Didn’t bother with the locks – sailed right in through the front door.
CORSO
If this was a true out-of-body or remote viewing experience you’ll have to tell us something you could only have seen today, something that wasn’t there when you helped me move in.
CHASE
(Making a show of deep thought)
Well, there were a lot of papers about a bankruptcy filing and restraining orders. Is that the sort of thing you mean? Shouldn’t we run right over and look? Oh, and there was a sex tape featuring you and Nurse Howk on your bed. Your bed had black sheets. She’s one smoky tomato, that girl. She has a piercing on her hoo-ha. Shouldn’t we call her in and investigate?
CORSO
Mr. Quinn, you are fired again! I knew you were a mistake! Off to the locker rooms with you. This minute. And don’t come back!
CHASE
(rises slowly, protesting)
Awwww... And I thought we were gonna be like so free.
CORSO
Every chance you are given, you destroy. I’m sure one of the alternates will be thrilled to assume your position.
CHASE
(Chucks him under the chin)
You can always find somebody to “assume the position” but you’ll never find anyone like me.
CORSO
(Swats his hand away)
Let’s hope not. Get out, now.
CHASE
Can’t I listen to the others? I swilled your damn koolaid.
CORSO
No. You are incorrigible and disruptive. You are leaving or I call security and this class is OVER.
CHASE
But I want to hear the others!
CORSO
(Upends recliner, dumping CHASE on the floor. Speaks into his earbud)
You should have thought of that sooner. Security!
CHASE
Oh all right. Jazz, I’ll be waiting for you to tell me what I missed.
(He exits slowly, hangs out behind the door.)
CORSO
I do apologize for that. That is one troubled youth. He is a thief, an impostor and a poseur. No good deed goes unpunished there, I assure you. His alternate will be more cooperative. Miss Suzino? Mr. Bliven? Chop-chop! No more stalling.
RAD
(Looking panicked.)
It’s Borden. And – I don’t remember anything.
(CORSOinspects him closely to see if he is lying)
CORSO
Hmmm. Come, come, Mr. whatever. The others have been brave. Your clothing is strangely disarranged.
SOLIZ
Aren’t your pants on backwards?
RAD
(Gulps, blushes painfully)
I know you’ll fire me and I don’t really want to leave but I just don’t remember. It’s just a blank.
CORSO
Fire you for amnesia? Hardly! I am much more likely to administer truth serum or attempt a little private hypnosis. Overcoming resistance is my raison d’être.
(Looks at his watch.)
We just don’t have the time. How about if I give you one more chance, next week?
RAD
Th – thanks.
(Is he relieved? Traumatized? Hard to tell.CORSOstretches out on CHASE’s abandoned futon, very relaxed, crosses his hands behind his head.)
CORSO
You are hardly a “still water”, Mr. Bli – er, Borden. Perhaps that is why I am more relieved than otherwise to find you run so deep. Miss Suzino? We are waiting.
(JAZZ’s face show she is desperately trying to think up a story. Coming up empty)
JAZZ
I was blind. At first I couldn’t see.
CORSO
(Sighs luxuriously)
Oh, Miss Suzino. Blindfold games! Who among us hasn’t played them? You always interest me so extremely! Pay attention, Mr. Bruden! This is how it’s done!
RAD
Borden.
CORSO
Simmer down, class. Let Miss Suzino speak. Poor little Jazz. When she enrolled in this experiment she’s all, “I can’t dream”
(mimics her voice unflatteringly)
Now it’s “I can’t see!” Whatever next? We’ll just have to do what we can to open your eyes.
JAZZ
I felt people rushing past me. I stumbled down steps into a basement. It smelled like dirt and death. Someone kicked me – I fell over a body. A dead body.
CORSO
More falling. This is a tragic class.
ZANE
Anything chasing you?
CORSO
Please, class, I’ll ask the questions.
JAZZ
There was blood.
SOLIZ
But the blood was yours. Sorry. Just saying.
CORSO
(Slams his notebook shut – rises)
Checks in your mailboxes the first of the week! See you all next Saturday! Remember – no talking about what goes on in dream lab!
Back in DREAM LAB – CORSO calling with baton and headphones)
CORSO
Children! Come back! Playtime is over! Wake up, children! Don’t get lost in NeverNeverLand!
(CORSOconductsFlight of the Valkyrie. JAZZandCHASEare sucked apart to opposite sides of the stage. Lowlights come up on Dream Lab. CHASEfalls back on his recliner. Other students thrashing and moaning. JAZZ falls to floor, CHASEstruggles to her side to help her up)
JAZZ
(Retching)
I think I saw death.
CHASE
And I saw the face of evil.
CORSO
(Appearing with a roll of paper towels and a bucket of water bottles – lights up all the way, music down)
Rough sleep?
CHASE
Yeah. But was worth it.
CORSO
I’m talking to Miss Suzino. Gave yourself a bloody nose there, sport.
(CORSOhands out bottles of water)
JAZZ
(feels her face)
I did? Is it my blood?
KOO
I’m definitely going to throw up.
CORSO
First times are always the worst times. Care for a basin?
KOO
No, I want a bathroom.
(Staggers off futon, SOLIZ reaches out to her)
SOLIZ
I’ll help her.
(They lurch off behind Ladies Locker)
CORSO
Any more foreheads require mopping? Allow me to audition my Florence Nightingale impersonation. I’ve been universally praised for my bedside manner.
JAZZ
(Mopping herself)
Maybe I’m the one who died.
CORSO
Forget the safe word?
RAD
There’s a safe word? Now he tells us.
CHASE
How about “Stop”. Or “No”?
CORSO
The problem with that is behind the fear lies the wish.
CHASE
Behind the wish lies the demon. So there is no safe word.
CORSO
How about “I quit”? Is that what you’re trying to say, Mr. Quinn?
CHASE
You first.
CORSO
(They glare at each other. Horrible retching noises from locker room)
Now, now, now. Just when we were getting along so well.
(ZANEhas stood up and is lurching around as if sleepwalking.)
CORSO
Mr. Braden, assist your colleague back to his launching pad.
(RADstands up, goes toZANE, wakes him, and leads him to his futon to sit.SOLIZbrings a green-facedKOO out of the Ladies’)
RAD
My name is Borden.
CORSO
Now wasn’t that fun? Good times. Upchucking can hardly be an unusual experience for you, Miss Loflin.
SOLIZ
Don’t give her so much next time. She’s little. She can’t get the same dose as everyone else.
CORSO
I wish the guinea pigs would stop wrestling with me for control of this experiment. I make the decisions around here. The doctor knows what he’s doing.
SOLIZ
Sorry.
CORSO
Now I posit the ultimate question. Anybody “fly”? Did we achieve liftoff?
SOLIZ
I think I fell. It seemed so real. Maybe it was only a dream.
CORSO
Only a tear in the fabric the universe, a burp from the hippocampus, a haiku from the collective unconscious, an oracle of future empowerment? Speak to us, Miss D’Accosta. Tell us everything.
SOLIZ
(Stands up to act out events she describes)
I was in the elevator at Hadleigh – for some reason I was in a big hurry. I remember looking at my watch but my watch had stopped. It was an analog watch without any hands.The elevator opened on the top floor and I rushed out. All these people were staring at me and they started to laugh. I realized I was naked. I couldn’t get back in the elevator – the doors had melted. The floors were melting and the whole building lurched to one side. I panicked. I was thrown against people and I hate people touching me but I was helpless. No soulmates, just a gang. I’m scared of gangs. They were herding me. But there was the window so I jumped right through, thinking, maybe I can fly. I felt the glass tearing apart my body. At first I felt this great release. A sense of excitement. Like I can do anything I want, like I got away with it. I was trying to move my arms and legs – it seemed like slo-mo – so I pumped and pumped – moving more frantically – but I knew all along it wouldn’t work. It doesn’t work with swimming. You’ve got to find the peaceful center but there was no peaceful center. So I fell – knowing you’d be disappointed and maybe flunk me but hoping my crushed body could tell the scientists something. That second before I hit I was – it was the most disgusting feeling – suspended, staring at the chalk outline where I my corpse would be. I remember thinking, “I hope we get a second chance” but all I heard was laughter. Others were getting it. Others were doing it. Splat! Face-first into the pavement. I felt my face pushed into my brain, my spine crumbling– body turning inside out, I became “the visible woman” with her organs on the outside. That was right before my organs exploded like water balloons and there was nothing left. I was completely gone and so there was nothing left to go to heaven, no welcoming light, no happy faces. Just sadness and loss; a night of blackout drinking. That couldn’thave been an out of body experience. It was more like a nightmare. Right?
(SOLIZ’s face is sweaty, anxious. CORSO, hand to chin, considering)
CORSO
A classic shame dream. You felt humiliated by your naked body – a very nice body I might add – as if by some unwilling revelation of your essential self. A common anxiety dream, I assure you. Hampered by cultural imperatives your attempted “escape” was disguised as self-punishment; you “looked down”, ergo tumbled and fell. Almost Greek in its simplicity. I especially liked the note about the handless watch. Very Dali-esque.
RAD
I’m all for naked dreams.
JAZZ
Our naked selves aren’t our essential selves.
CORSO
(Looking at her very displeased. Those guinea pigs again)
How so, Miss Suzino?
JAZZ
I mean, everyone’s naked body is alike. Choices reveal our essential selves.
CORSO
Spoken like a fashion major. How jejeune.
CHASE
I know what she means. It’s why people get tattoos.
CORSO
Says a tattooed denizen of the underclass.
ZANE
Everybody’s naked body is not alike! I wish!
RAD
(Trying so hard to be ZANE’s buddy)
Right! I mean, if only!
JAZZ
I mean generally.
CORSO
We split hairs. Nevertheless you expose the dangers of word selection, Miss D’Accosta. Forget “flying”. Who went elsewhere? Absolutely elsewhere? Just tell me that.
Alysse Aallyn 