Goddesses Instinctively Resist Stagnation. Your conscious mind accepts stasis, which it interprets as “security”, but your subconscious rebels. It demands change! In the meanwhile, outside of your awareness, your unconscious IS changing, evolving fiercely along with the drama playing out in the entropical human race. Goddesses have the power to direct change. Tune in!
Consult Your Dreams – Dreams signal a desire for change. When was the last time you had a falling dream? Or a rushing water dream? A surprise dream or an accident dream?
Change Is Inevitable – Not just change, but revolution. Revolution is what we goddesses are all about. Cultivate flexible thinking. Don’t invest psychologically in rigid, one-way requirements.
Thought Exercise – What if everything in life were completely different? What if things turned upside down? This is the kind of planning and strategizing asked of goddesses. What’s the “Last Best Option?” Shape your change towards growth by asking, is this making me better and stronger person, or more fearful? More competent, less dependent, more unique, less compliant, more imaginative, less angry, more joyous, less envious? Evolve with me! Prepare to streamline!
Fundamental Attribution Error is thepsychological theory that we blame ourselves for world conditions over which we have no control. Check your guilt/anxiety levels. If they are raging, is there anything you can do to ameliorate the causative circumstances? Being without guilt or anxiety is NOT the goal – that would describe a sociopath! But being crippled by guilt OR anxiety when there’s nothing you can do about it is disabling. And we’re in the empowerment department here.
Goddesses Manage Their Evolution, that’s the point. Traveling ever upward along the spiral. What are the attributes you admire? Develop a picture of yourself as a wise being emitting light. Nurture calm, contentment, gratitude – in the midst of a thirst for new ideas and experiences to add to your expanding galaxy of knowledge.
Be Ready for Anything – Play out the scenarios in your Goddess Training Journal. Have a plan A, B, C. Learn chess to help with thinking of several moves ahead. Ask others, “What would you do?” As you read/watch a piece of fiction, imagine yourself inside this problem. You can also learn a lot from history. Start a “What IF? Club” in which members dream up survival scenarios. Play the game Worst Case Scenario.
Models & Mentors – “Progress is impossible without change”
– George Bernard Shaw
“Change is the law of life. Those who look only to past and present are certain to miss the future.” – John F. Kennedy
“Change does not roll in on the wheels of inevitability but comes after continuous struggle.” – Martin Luther King
“It is not the strongest of our species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the ones most responsive to change” – Charles Darwin
No One Becomes a Goddess Without Discipline – Many fatally confuse discipline with punishment and avoid it until they sadly discover they’re now too debilitated to do anything. Uh oh! Don’t let this happen to you!
Map-Making Means Map-Following – We adjust maps on the basis of experience. But we try them out first. Or we won’t know where they went wrong. Goddesses are logical, not impulsive. Because impulses are outer-directed. Being a Goddess means being in control. Don’t apply if you don’t like being in control. Goddesses dislike the feeling of being out of control.
You’re Out of Control When You Don’t Know Where Impulses Are Coming From – Lots of cues are subliminal and their directors want to keep it that way. They want you to think the desire is coming from INSIDE the house, not from their strategy room where bills are piling up.
You Become a Goddess by Getting to Know Yourself – YOUR ESSENTIAL SELF – that’s what makes you strong. Goddesses take the time to track the origin of their impulses down.
Do I want it because I’ve done it before?
Do I want it because other people are doing it?
Do I want it because SOMEBODY ELSE insists?
Do I want it because of advertisers & influencers?
Do I need it to Join the Club?
You’ve probably figured out Goddesses aren’t “Joiners.”
If you’re “used” to whatever it is, get “unused” to it. You’re in Goddess training, and it’s a whole new world. Relish the different feelings. If you sense you’re becoming unglued, contemplate substitutions. You don’t need to go Cold Turkey on Pleasure, the Past, or your own physiology. What you need to do is get your body and mind acquainted with Trying New Things because of respectable scientific research says it will build you into the new person you need to be.
Get loose from “the pack” right now. If you can’t, you’re not Goddess material. There’s two kinds of people, “swarmers” and “selves.” Swarmers don’t want to develop a self because it differentiates them from the pack. They want to do whatever the swarm is doing. It takes time – and can be ouchy – to develop a Self but the payoff is literally Eternal. Take the time. Or go down with the swarm if that sounds better.
You’re being pressured to Follow a Course that suits Somebody Else. Let’s take a long look at this person and ask ourselves why they don’t care about our betterment, or who the hell we really are, or even anything other than their own Ego. Why are we servicing this person’s ego? We need to get AWAY from this person. They want a hostage or a slave or both.
We’ve been seduced by the Virtual World! It felt so good at the time. For a moment there it felt like maybe we found Our People. And they seemed so welcoming! Of course there is a price of admission, and you keep paying it with your denigration, not just in the service of someone’s ego, but a lot of people’s bank accounts. Figure out a way to tell these False Friends goodbye.
From our Subconscious We Summon Rescue. In dreams sometimes it’s a hero, a fictional or historic figure or a spirit animal. Try reading folk or fairy tales right before bed. Fall asleep imagining strengthening muscles – physical, spiritual, emotional – growing inside you.
You are Jack AND the Beanstalk! No giant can stand against you. Even the laziest, cruelest corner of the self ultimately collapses to reveal a Tiny Child yearning for effective mothering. Turns out, that’s what you were looking for all along. Time to give birth to yourself, then mother yourself.
Discipline is the Only Path to Achieving What We Want. Nothing is achieved (or appreciated!) without discipline, which only means conforming your behavior to a previously conceived pattern. What ideas spring up when you think about this? Is “discipline” always cruel? Painful? Is it one of your fears? Or the map to the orderly life you long for?
You Are Your Best Friend and Best Parent – Nothing works in your life until you learn delayed gratification and stick-to-itiveness. But first you must experiment with other patterns – some of which –depending on your upbringing – can be hellish. So you have THAT to get past. You will definitely need to harness all your dream power to get yourself over the finish line.
Goddesses Adapt Discipline to Enhance Thriving. But who’s doing the adapting – the Cruel Taskmaster, the Disgusted Lover, the Generous Parent or the Permissive Saint? You contain all these (and they live in your dreams) so which will you listen to? Who will you empower? Who do you feed?
The Choice You Make Controls your Future. Consult appealing patterns that have worked for others and blend to taste. Realize it’s a process; a series of moments. You’re training like an athlete; every day you master new capabilities. Develop a sophisticated discernment you can trust to guide you.
Goddesses Set Marks and Hit Them – Forming habits is easier than breaking them apart, so goddess know that preventing bad habits is the core of discipline. But bad habits sneak up on us, they will form anyway, so part of your discipline will always be turning away from something that was formerly pleasurable. Enjoy the peace that comes with each small step.
Goddesses Know How to Keep Going – Discipline is the bridge that gets you from where you are to where you want to be. Always use a “spotter” – someone who wants the best for you – a professional who’s “been there” and who can keep you from going over the edge.
Goddesses Celebrate Their Discipline – Self-acceptance comes from experiencing our humanity to the fullest. We are “parenting” our much-loved and respected self, the one who starts out as a toddler with no self-control whom we’re trying to keep out of the fire. Forgive yourself. And keep going.
Make Discipline Visual – Charts, maps, graphs and lists that hearten & cheer are key to purposeful pathways. Figure out a way to picture your values. Checking off boxes and cherishing the “proof” of a successful day becomes your joy.
Models & Mentors – “Through self-discipline comes freedom” – Aristotle
“Motivation gets you going, but discipline keeps you going” – John C. Maxwell
“All success begins with self-discipline. It starts with you.” – Dwayne Johnson
‘Day by day – what you choose, what you think, what you do, is who you become” – Heraclitus
Goddesses Bounce Back – Resilience is the province of youth, and because Goddesses live with the advantages of past, present and future all at once, they treasure the pleasures of both maturity and resilience.
Dreaming About Your Childhood? Your conscious mind is “mining” your subconscious for guides to your deepest feelings now. Are you pick on a wrong path, and if so, why? Is it possible to go back and fix it?
“You’re as Young as You Feel” is a true saying! Youthful old people are interested in everything. They are not frightened by new ideas. They don’t talk endlessly about their illnesses, complaints, how the world has gone to hell.
Goddesses Don’t Fear the Future. The nature of “resilience” is that you “spring back”. You can actually use mistakes as energy, to improve your map-making. Surely you’re familiar with ”resistance training.” You get better muscles that way!
Goddess Are Battle-Tested – How can anyone feel “young” when life keeps beating you down? Goddesses experience negative reactions too – probably more so than most, since they aren’t interested in joining someone’s army or “going with the flow.”
Goddesses Create the Flow – The way to improve your resilience is to upgrade your philosophy. Do you secretly believe that when people can no longer participate in the rat race, they should be shoveled under and it’s over? There’s an inspiring pep talk for the locker room!
Goddesses Are Young Forever. Combine that with the far-seeing wisdom of planning and experience and you have a Superpower.
Love and Intelligence REQUIRE Wisdom – Adopt a philosophy that gives you hope. This is easier to do around young people. Grandparents cling to grandchildren. It’s good for both of them.
Don’t Get Stuck in a “Feedback Loop.” Don’t hang around depressing, toxic people who mouth depressing, toxic notions. In our society, aging people are shunted off onto sidings, gathered together in communities that focus on “nursing”. Depressed yet? Re-orient your mind to focus on “health.” Resilience is a requirement for healing all types of wounds.
Goddesses Preserve the Hope of Youth – Hope is the goddess’s religion. Life will always win out, growing even against despair.
Goddesses Preserve the Joy of Youth – Fighting difficult battles (even with oneself) means the relaxation afterwards feels extra delicious. Goddesses can play with anyone because they are still child-like. That is part of what we are fighting for.
Goddess Opportunity – In a famous letter to Ann Landers, someone who wanted to go to medical school bewailed that they would forty years old when they got out! Forty! Landers asked, “How old will you be if you DON’T go?” “Wise” people are those who realize HOW YOUNG THE REST OF YOU really are, who are complaining about being “too old” to do what you want to do. You have plenty of time, because ALL time is NOW. Your new mantra? “Spring back.”
Goddesses Never Give Up – Surrendering can be a strategy. It is not giving up. There may be snow on the roof but there is plenty of fire in the fireplace. Sometimes, however, it is good to keep our fires to ourselves. Goddesses know how to bide our time, planning for extractions and disappearances.
Models & Mentors – “Reasons for hope – our clever brains, the indomitable human spirit and above all, the commitment of young people when they’re empowered to take action” – Jane Goodall
“We don’t even know how strong we are until we are forced to bring that hidden strength forward” – Isabel Allende
“Success is not final, failure is not fatal, it is the courage to continue that counts’ – Winston Churchill
“Hardships often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny”
Goddesses Use Ingenuity to Rise Above – Everyone has flying dreams! In those moments, we experience the absolute power of potential, which is exactly what Goddessing is about. We often wake from them with a feeling of disappointed sadness: “You mean I’m earth-bound? I want to go back!’
Goddesses are Transformers – Your mind is a ever-changing tool that not only discerns and elucidates and solves “problems”, it transfigures them with transcendental thinking. Difficulties dissolve as the potential for revolution becomes clear. Goddesses rise above the problem to survey it from other angles. We can soar over the difficulty with prescriptive imagination! Our most transformative tool is the question: “What if?”
Ingenuity sees Connections where Others see Limits. Ingenuity
relaxes by “tinkering.” Let’s become expert at cultivating the alpha brain waves to achieve “flow” – a condition of subconscious harmony where ideas spring up and potentialities thrive. “Flow” is true freedom.
Goddess Danger: Can You “Waste” Your Life Daydreaming? I’m one of those people who says “No”! But the mind can create traps – cultural, educational and emotional – to keep us on a sabotaging treadmill of circular reasoning that gets us nowhere. Usually you can tell this is happening when you hear an intrusive “voice”: “You shouldn’t be doing this” “You’re an idiot” “That won’t work.” That’s not you talking; it’s a “Hidden Enemy” brainworm you are allowing into your Sacred Space.
The “Hidden Enemy” is an Invader – a parasite you picked up someplace. It could be school, family, online, it could be cultural or psychological – that doesn’t really matter. The Hidden Enemy is determined undermine all your efforts to focus and connect. Without the confidence to dream, think and experiment you can’t become your best self. So the Hidden Enemy must be expelled.
Goddess Opportunity – Meditation is practicing to take control of your own brain, and as such, it is vital. Like piano scales and ballet steps the practice itself matters less than the fact that you do it every day. Wonderful Meditation apps exist to help you on this journey. This is not on the “winning” or “losing” spectrum any more than massage is, it is simply something that must be done every day to practice recognizing the Hostile and Destructive Voice and forcefully pushing it out of your brain. If you need confidence to apply this practice, join a meditation group.
Goddesses Create Heaven – In a supportive environment voices saying, “You can’t do it” are drowned out by empowering affirmations. Some people use music to achieve this state, others use meditation. Fans of psychology might wish to make an effort to study where these voices came from. Who are they? What happened to those people? Why did they attack you? Now that you are no longer a child you can usually see them for the tiny, disappointed, bitter little minds they were. These are not forces to emulate. Deliberately let them go. Repeat after me: “I am sorry for you, but you have no power over me”.
When You Can’t Go Backwards or Forwards the Only Solution is Up – Goddesses are accustomed to thinking outside the box because they long ago realized they would never fit the box society had chosen for them.
Goddesses Invent – Goddess figure out brand new ways to do things based on innovative reasoning, creative solutions and “win-win” thinking.
Goddesses Adapt – Goddess have been strategizing in their Goddess Journals and mapmaking on their Vision Boards for so long soon they can do it in their heads, on the fly. We know Plan A will probably not happen, possibly not even B, C, or D but a combination of all these or something new entirely that comes to you suddenly, in the heat of the moment.
Goddesses Amaze – Surprise is the entire Art of Beauty, says Alysse Aallyn; absolute originality is the Art of Surprise. Learn to enjoy the unexpected. Don’t allow others to dictate to you about behaviors and modalities. Above all, Goddesses are free.
Models & Mentors – “No problem of human making is too great to be overcome by human ingenuity, human energy and the untiring hope of the human spirit”
– Bill Clinton
“Mathematical reasoning is the exercise of inspiration and ingenuity” – Alan Turing
“You cannot solve a problem with the same mind that created it” – Albert Einstein
“Those who do not think outside the box are easily contained” – Nicolas Manetta
Goddesses Learn to Delegate. Just because you are One of a Kind, it doesn’t mean you have to do everything. Goddesses thrive and refresh through admiring the ministrations of others. We’re all nostalgic for a Perfect World of cooperation that never in fact, existed or can exist because we are all the stars of our particular story. Exactly as it should be. But you, right now, need cooperation and luckily, as it turns out, everyone requires cooperation to survive.
Goddesses Aren’t Responsible For Everything – We are immortalizing; it’s hard work and it takes a lifetime. Every task we assume is part of something much bigger. But we are surrounded by helpers, if we could only see it. Goddesses have much to share.
Goddess Challenge – In life we have Group Tasks and Individual Tasks. The challenge is to figure out which is which. Social pressure tends to ‘erase” the importance of our personal, individual tasks because the daily round is so overwhelming. Yet we must cling determinedly to our Personal Goals of maturation, Mastery, Learning, Finding Meaning & Bliss, Growing Love. Cooperation surrounds us in all these challenges if we could only access its benefits.
Goddesses Know How to Lead – Goddess understand strategy and dividing tasks into steps. Goddess see into the heart of personal and personnel problems because they have confronted their own issues of courage, baggage, physical challenge and fear
Goddesses Know How to Play Their Position – For my part to work, your part needs to work. Division of labor knits efforts into a harmonious whole. Everyone gets a chance and everyone is satisfied with the result.
Goddesses See the Entire Field – We know how to change course to give our best efforts their best chance. We know when to retreat and regroup. We understand the psychological build-up and the necessity of down-time, debriefing, and re-supplying. Everyone must feel that they are of value and no effort is in vain.
Know the Game – Unfortunately capitalist societies are based on competition and scarcity. Politics maneuvers us into seeing others as competitors for scarce resources, instead of willing hands helping us build. No wonder Main Street is falling into disrepair, volunteer activities go begging and community resources are depleted! Without a sense of community, we can’t see each other as anything but rivals. When looking for co-operators it is wise to re-visit our previous Wisdom warnings about avoiding people who seek not helpers but hostages.
Avoid Spirit Crushers – Memorize these threatening warnings of an approaching hostile takeover and don’t expect anything from these people. Spirit crushers have given up on achieving anything themselves and are looking solely to take others down. In this life, goddesses are as subject to destruction as anyone, even if their souls have already achieved immortality. Watch out for:
1. Manipulation: Toxic people often use manipulation to get what they want from others. They may guilt trip, threaten, or lie to manipulate others into doing their bidding. 2. Emotional Abuse: Spirit crushers may use emotional abuse to control and dominate their victims. This can include name-calling, belittling, and constant criticism. 3. Lack of Accountability: Spirit crushers often avoid taking responsibility for their actions and may blame others for their own mistakes. 4. Self-Centeredness: Spirit crushers are often extremely self-centered and may prioritize their own needs and desires over those of others. 5. Lack of Empathy: Spirit crushers may have difficulty putting themselves in other people’s shoes and understanding their feelings and perspectives. 6. Passive-Aggressiveness: Spirit crushers may exhibit passive-aggressive behavior, such as giving the silent treatment or making sarcastic comments. 7. Inconsistency: Toxic people may be inconsistent in their words and actions, and may promise one thing but deliver another. 8. Disregard for Boundaries: Spirit crushers may disregard others’ boundaries and may continue to push for what they want even when told “no.” 9. Gaslighting: Toxic people may engage in gaslighting behavior, which involves manipulating someone into doubting their own perceptions or memories. 10. Physical Aggression: In extreme cases, spirit crushers may exhibit physical aggression, such as hitting, pushing, or kicking.
Stay Away!
Goddess Opportunity – If you avoid the above, you will meet Your Best Friends Ever! People who really have ideas and ENJOY HELPING. This is even more important than Getting “the job” DONE! Because Cooperation often redesigns the job in a positive, healthy way. Real friends last for life and they change YOU. Reach out for advice and cooperation to all who treat others with respect. The universe is a group endeavor! You won’t be successful ALL the time – no one is – but you will learn so much in the course of finding out How to Live In the World and Who to be.
Models & Mentors – “The only thing that will redeem mankind is cooperation” – Bertrand Russell
“Coming together is a beginning, keeping together is progress and working together is success” – Henry Ford
“If I have seen further, it is by standing on the shoulders of giants” – Isaac Newton
“Alone we can do so little. Together we can do so much.” – Helen Keller
Time to check your consciousness levels – How comfortable are you with the very existence, not to mention the depth, of your conscious/subconscious/
unconscious/collective unconscious levels?
Consciousness is your awareness of the Now.
Subconscious are all the memories and ideas pushed out of the Now into “Later”. With effort, you can become aware of these.
The Unconscious you are completely unaware of. It takes considerable mining effort to get down there, but it can be done. This is where you store everything you’ve heard, everything you’ve seen, even peripherally, even without bringing into awareness at the time. The Collective Unconscious is the most controversial. Do you believe you are a historical repository of other people’s memories, including those of whose existence you are entirely unaware? I do.
You Have Multiple People Blending Their Lives With Yours – Do you ruminate about past events? Are you haunted by what was done & left undone? Do you feel nostalgia for a past that never was? Do you have a favorite period in history or a fantasy universe that you wish you lived in, instead of this one?
You are the Heroine of Your Goddess Saga – Accept your centrality in your own myth. It doesn’t matter what other people think – they are the bit players. Think of your past as a Quest Saga. What did you want? How did it change? What blocked you? What tools have you got at your command? Where do you go from here?
Rewrite the Past – You absolutely CAN, but first you first must face its full horror and the effect on you. Generally, because we were immature, we didn’t understand what was going on, were co-opted by our persecutors and prevented from fighting back. Things are different now! The hardest thing to accept is that beloved caregivers didn’t want the “best” for us – they only wanted us to be just like them. Let’s begin bringing those levels of consciousness into symmetry.
“I Don’t Believe in Ghosts but I Never Met a Person who Wasn’t Haunted” is a very wise saying. What haunts you exactly? Or who? Ghosts are malignant – if they weren’t they would be power spirits, fairy godmothers or guardian angels. What malignancies from your past are out to get you and how do they make themselves known? One of Freud’s contributions was to point out that people prefer their neurosis – ie imprisonment – to liberation. Why? What’s in it for them – or you?
You Define YOU. Yes, Goddesses have scars – those are bragging rights! You have been through the wars! ‘Rewriting” the past means understanding what really happened, the limitations of those who surrounded you, and exploring your chances and choices today. Just because parents, teachers or “society” sentenced you to play a role, you can step out of it at any time. Buddhist thought is very helpful here. Buddha teaches that life itself is an illusion – a dream. It changes depending on how we think about it. In the present, inside your mind, you hold all the keys to your own liberation. Re-visit Pema Chodron’s Noble Heart and Eckhart Tolle’s Power of Now to explore how you can assume immediate control of your life and your mind and turn your past into fuel to power your growth.
Goddesses Know Who They Are – Remember,you’ve got a purpose. You’ve got a future. You’ve thought about your past and worked out conflicts with a mentor and in your Goddess Journal.
Goddesses Develop A Sense of History – You understand that history is a spiral, not a circle – the same things do keep coming around but in a different form. You see all around you the operation of karma.
Choosing Evil is Choosing Chaos – and condemning yourself to death. It can’t ever work out except temporarily. You understand the battle between darkness and light and you have committed yourself firmly to The Light.
Goddesses Are Storytellers – You emblemize the message with your life, with your words, with your body, with your very presence. You have become one link in the unbreakable chain of Eternal Perfection and you will gain eternal reward.
Models & Mentors – “You never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory” – Dr Seuss
“Memory is the treasury and guardian of all things” – Cicero
“In the end, we’ll all become stories.” – Margaret Atwood
“Your brain forms the same neural connections and muscle memory whether you are imagining a task or actually doing it”- Yo Yo Ma
Are Goddesses Alone on Their Pinnacles?– No! Evolving your inner Goddess is discovering how to manifest and elevate your God-given attributes to timelessness. Once you have uncovered the powers of your real self, you will also see what you have been lacking and will feel the force of the natural mandate; “Go forth and be fruitful.” Being alone is a perfectly acceptable choice, but so is coupling – forever or briefly. Not only children are a couple’s progeny but ideas, achievements, duets.
Dreaming about weddings? Or just sex? How about romance, proposals, marriage? Ever fantasize about The One that got Away? Or do you just dream about partnership enterprises in general – gaming, sports – where an Ideal Partner/Helper’s got your back? It’s definitely more difficult to make it through life without a partner, and there are plenty of signs that successful partnership is very rewarding. Sure, we’ve got friends who come and go, sometimes special ones, but they’ve got obligations of their own. What if we had a Perfect Friend who made our Best Life their priority? What if we were not only willing to do the same for them but to promise this in public? Consider your ideal partnership contract.
Everybody Deserves Love – We come into adulthood with strong memories of familial dependence. We are all attracted to caretaking behaviors and easily seduced by promises to read our minds and give us what we really want, even if we haven’t figured that out for ourselves. Then our hormones click in and we discover Desire. Not only for bodies, but for Persons, Lives, Individualities. Other people are a spice, other people are a medicine, other people are a distraction – everything our lives appear to be lacking. What if we could combine all these needs together in one appetizing human package?
Goddess Challenge – We rarely ask our friends to change their lives for us. They are VERY rarely willing to do so. But a partner is someone to actively plan a life with. You get to talk through all the Wants, the Possibilities, the Fears. Heady stuff! The challenge is to know Yourself well enough to make any sort of honest statements about who you are, who you CAN be and who you want to be.
Allies Need a Long-Term Contract – Lives are uprooted. Possessions are shared. Long term strategy results in map-merging to create a new – but more exciting – map. If you’re a giver, learn your limits. Because takers don’t have any.
Someone Needs to Take Your Back – What if, as the great mystic Emmanuel Swedenborg suggested, each one of us is only half an angel. You need someone to cover the things you can’t cover. And if you were planning to start a goddess family, you need more than a partner, you need a spouse.
Spouses Teach Honesty – The person who knows you best doesn’t put up with a false front. You literally force each other to get to the root of emotions and behaviors that will open up your psyches not just to each other, but to yourselves. The spouse who falls in love with you and forgives you finally allows you to fall in love with and forgive yourself.
Staging, Experimental Life Lab and Boot Camp – We get to try out our ideas on each other. The Beloved Other is a Mirror and a Coach. The purpose of existence, the purpose of YOUR existence – suddenly becomes clear.
Goddess Danger – A substantial number of partnerships fail even at their short-term purpose. We all know this but we keep trying. Then there are the partnerships that evolve into Something Else, a Financial, Real Estate or Caregiving unit that is very necessary but also pretty far from what we had in mind originally. Our challenge remains the same. Is it possible to both know and be known? Can we find our Soulmate? Does such a creature exist? Is it possible to evolve with another soul to a higher plane of SuperSoul? Disappointment and betrayal are all too often the apparent outcomes.
Goddess Opportunity – Soulmates DO exist! They DO evolve together. It’s possible to change life for another while they change, blend, merge with us. Any interaction with another requires communication, boundary testing, honesty, planning and “rules”. I put rules in quotes because a good partner keeps “transforming” the game and we keep transforming ourselves to meet it. The best way ever to honestly know yourself is to keep your conscious, subconscious and unconscious in alignment. Purposeful journaling is the best way to achieve that goal!
Models & Mentors – “It’s not lack of love but lack of friendship that makes for unhappy marriages” – Friedrich Nietzsche
“What counts in making a happy marriage is not compatibility but how you deal with incompatibility” – Leo Tolstoy
“A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short”
– Andre Maurois
“The secret of a happy marriage is finding the right person. You know they’re the right person if you want to be with them all the time” – Julia Child
Goddesses Embody Wisdom and Wisdom Is Hard-Won. Is it time to make peace with your elders?Do you feel you require an experienced hostage negotiator to free you from an infestation of the past? Have you been dreaming of old people? Funerals? Aging in general? Dreaming of gurus atop mountains? Buddhas, caves, palaces of wisdom? Or are you fixating on a specific elder who had an influence – bad or good – on your young life?
The Goddess’ Effort Is Sacred – Failure is when you don’t try. Experience is the great teacher. Bad Judgment leads to Experience which leads to Wisdom which leads to Good Judgment.
You Are Wiser Than You Know –– Contrast elders you admire with those you avoid. Aren’t the latter complainers who stress to everyone they meet what a bad hand life has dealt them? They complain about their health, politics, the weather, other people – whatever crosses the windscreen of their increasingly tightening minds. In their world children never call, doctors don’t help, media is lying, weather’s getting worse, food is adulterated and we are all going to hell. This person is clamoring ever more loudly for ego strokes without apparently noticing the discomfort and distaste of those around them. Rather than trying a new strategy, they step up their whingeing.
Read the Room! Is what you want to scream at them but you realize they can no longer “learn.” This is the opposite of wisdom. This is senility. A brain is shutting down, a personality is beggared and no one wants to be around it.
Think of an Elder you Admire. Nelson Mandela, Joe Biden, St. Joan, Desmond Tutu, The Dalai Lama, Deepak Chopra, Oprah Winfrey, Pema Chodron, the Pope? These persons are Ego-Less. Someone who talks about others, not themselves. They authentically care for others. They discuss ideas rather than gossip and have a long memory of problems, solutions, trial and error. They keep themselves “young” in all the ways that matter. People flock to them.
There’s an Old Cherokee Story about how each of us is born with a good wolf and a bad wolf inside of us. The one that gets stronger and takes control is the one you feed. Your challenge is to figure out how to practice your increasing wisdom every day. Accepting your dreams and encouraging their deepening understanding is the beginning of wisdom.
The Pursuit of Gurus is Inherently Dangerous because there are a lot of con artists out there seeking hostages and slaves. Avoid dominance/submission games and people who use any of the following interpersonal techniques:
They’re never “wrong.” Nothing is ever their fault. Only they know what is fashionable, appropriate and right. You are always wrong.
Circular conversations, ad hominem arguments, projection and gaslighting – They are the gate-keepers of reason and you the thirsty aspirant who will never succeed without their help.
People only capable of hierarchical – vertical, not horizontal relationships. Someone needs to be “on top.” It will never be “your turn.” You will always be dragooned into doing their bidding.
Blanket statements and generalizations – Thick layers of protective blather will keep you from getting through to discuss any task at hand.
Misrepresenting your thoughts and feelings to the point of absurdity – You are a poorly educated simplistic thinker and a deficient reasoner and they are in on all the secrets and are the source of all wisdom. There’s no “cooperating” with these people.
Nitpicking and moving the goal posts – Different rules for everyone and every day.
Changing the subject to evade accountability – “This is your fault – You shouldn’t have given me that job to begin with.”
Covert and overt threats –“If people know what you REALLY are, say, do, no one would be your friend.”
Name-calling , stigmatizing, limiting– “Identity politics.” “You are a ___” Fill in the blank. And that’s all you’ll ever be in this guy’s eyes.
Destructive conditioning – Abuse, frustration and disrespect are this person’s calling cards but it’s never their fault that they live in a cloud of toxicity. They want you in there, too. Decline.
Smear campaigns and stalking – Endless power struggles. “Office politics.” Need I say more?
Playing the Martyr – “Everyone’s lying about me. I have so many enemies!”
Demands Immediate Unthinking Fealty – When someone stresses the fact that they are a “nice guy” or girl, that you should “trust them” right away or emphasizes their credibility without any provocation from you whatsoever, WALK AWAY.
Baits and badgers you – testing your limits. Can you be made to lose control?
Boundary testing – “You owe me” – “You’re committed” –“Everyone does it” to drag you into unethical enterprise
Aggressive jabs disguised as jokes – “Can’t you laugh about yourself? Everyone else is laughing.”
Condescending sarcasm and patronizing tone – Know-It-Alls
No One Using the Above Techniques has your best interests at heart.
Our Scars Define Beauty -You can see this struggle is all about Control. Goddesses avoid those who seek to control or dominate. Revered Elders such as those mentioned above would not do that. Treat others with respect and expect respect yourself.
Goddesses Know Their Allies – Goddess don’t fear becoming experienced. We seek it. People come and go, but the right ones stay. Time shows you the difference between the strength and honor of another’s heart. Goddesses share their knowledge without fear of competition. We know we are unreproduceable.
Goddesses Can Read the Signs – If you don’t believe in yourself, no one else will. Train yourself to trust yourself. You can read and write maps, you can interpret Nature, you see Red Flags before they wave for others.
Goddesses Earn Peace – Random acts of kindness make everyone feel better. Goddess’ “can do” attitude spreads peace. Goddess welcome other peaceful spirits. We challenge the troubled to take their drama elsewhere.
Models & Mentors – “You can’t control the wind but you can learn to adjust your sails.” – Jimmy Dean
“It always seems impossible till it’s done.” – Nelson Mandela
“Knowledge speaks but wisdom listens” – Jimi Hendrix
“I am thankful to those who said No. Because of them, I did it myself.”
– Albert Einstein
“Experience is not what happens to you, but what you do with what happens to you.” – Aldous Huxley
“It is never too late to be who you might have been” – George Eliot
‘Wisdom is the journey no one can take for us” – Marcel Proust
Goddesses Plan Their Path. Time to re-calibrate your subconscious influences and bring them into mindfulness. What subconscious influences? You don’t “know” this pressure with your rational mind, but you can “feel” it down in your animal soul. Something is pressing on you, like gravity, the way the moon’s pressure rolls and presses on our tidal waters.
Goddesses Understand Their Secrets – You begin, like everyone, as a secret to yourself. Your subconscious has the answers. Yet she only reveals herself covertly. Time for some dream interpretation. Object dreams are fear dreams, people dreams are love dreams, motion dreams are future dreams. Don’t look for rigid accuracy – we seek connections, not edges, interpretations, not walls and blocks. The purpose of dreaming is to splinter blocks. If you are a writer, automatic writing reveals what you think about. Collect pictures that speak to you and collage them from insight. Try to name the figures.
Goddess Are in Tune with the Universe – The opposite of fear, remember, is attraction, the opposite of love is hate and the opposite of forward yearning for the future is stasis. Each life pulse contains its opposite. Goddesses must learn many languages, of which the most important are non-verbal. The sky, the moon, the stars, the animals, history, the past, the plants, the dead, the future – all are reaching out to you. Be unafraid to listen and interpret.
Goddess Are Aware of the Unseen – We are all under influences of forces we have never even heard of, yet the Goddess’s Quest is to own their Self and present it in its most beautiful incarnation, to God, as worthy of Immortality. To understand who we are at our core is to perfect our obligation of thriving and giving.
Goddess Danger – We seek to heighten, not damage, your self-will. Others in your life – relative, friends, advertisers, politicians – are trying to take control of you. Don’t let them. The way to stop that is to take control of your fears yourself, so that you will never be ruled by them. Always seek a way upward. The direction of the spiral must always be UP.
Some influences are demonic and purely destructive. We stand up to them, we name them, we reject them. We learn their weaknesses and their targets. If necessary, we will battle them.
Goddess Challenge – Recognize Health, in yourself and others. Promote growth in yourself and others. Goddesses may refuse to engage, but they never cut people down. Take time for retreat, to build yourself and your powers and to recognize and name where you have come from and what you have battled. Treasure your Goddess Journal, share it, learn to profit from the trainings and maps of others. Build partnerships. Work on your Gratitude Practice – this is a glorious universe the God/Goddess deigns to share with us; from Love alone.
Models & Mentors – “Moonlight drowns out all but the brightest stars” – J. R. R Tolkien
“Like the Moon, come out from behind the clouds. Shine!”– Buddha
“Everyone is a Moon, and has a dark side he never shows to anybody”- Mark Twain
Should You Ever Wake up? The first thing that is obvious to an incipient, infant goddess is that Reality is often abhorrent, that everyone knows this and that they are not doing enough about it. Everyone insists they are just too small to tackle or challenge this massive Thing. And yet the incipient, adolescent goddess notices the Power of the Idea. Particularly the Self-Fulfilling Notion of Self-Determination. It’s not easy to become whoever you want, but it’s impossible to become anybody without wanting it. Your dreams “know” everything before you do.
Do you long for caretaking? Are you eager to give over the reins of your life to someone else? If so, you are not a goddess. The deepest desire of Goddessing is not being interfered with on out majestic passage through Eternity. But people will keep trying to take charge of you and redefine you. They will tell you ridiculous things – such as, Imagination is Bad, or it’s a waste of time. Remember – As Goddess, you’re the Pilot.
Are Your Dreams Scary, Unmanageable and Unsatisfying? Then it is time for you to take charge of your power – to admit that you are in control of your own brain.
Look forward to dreaming. I like waking up in the early dawn because when I go back to sleep I can set an intention for dreaming – all the best dreams (and the most memorable ones) happen at the very end of sleep while you are coming up through the layers of sub- to semi-consciousness.
Goddesses Are in Tune With Their Inner Voice – Jung tells us that in your dreams, you are everyone. Every life you have ever lived and every life you will ever live comes to you through your dreams.
Goddesses Are Seekers – We are self-defining. Self-validating. We are on a quest. Goddess experience to the fullest the nature of having a self. Become alert to the possibilities inherent in this particular incarnation and explore. Feel free to release your imagination.
Dream Journal – Start a dream journal. Date it, and write, “I want to dream about…” Fill in the blank. Be as detailed and specific as you can manage. It is OK to allow your waking mind to construct desirable dreams – great works of art got their start in just this way! You may hear a voice… someone from the past who discouraged your “day-dreaming” and wanted you to focus on your work, on the present and on them. Explore this memory fearlessly. It is not rejecting or “hating on” that person to disagree with them – there are certainly times when the priority is to focus on other things – but right now you are exploring your own brain and testing out its powers. Clearly that’s an important and necessary project. Gently take control from this Remembered Forbidder and say, “This is my time now. I am in charge.”
Goddess Danger – We all know the cautionary tale of Scary Guy Who Lives for Video Games and Doesn’t Have a Life. Do you secretly fear that the power of dreams and the pleasures of daydreaming will suck you away from Real World Competence? They won’t – so long as you are reality centered. You will become a fount of different outcomes and speculative futures with a gift for turning powerful desires into workable avenues of growth and advancement.
Positive Dreaming Deepens and Enhances, doesn’t evade reality. It’s just that reality is so much wilder – and we are so much more powerful than we can credit!
Dream Group – Reaching out for allies is always a good idea. Form a Dream Group with others to share the content of your dreams and listen to their fresh interpretations. You can even try Group Dreaming. Lie on the floor holding hands in semi-darkness playing drowsy music. Share whatever comes up. These are models for your future. Goddesses believe growth goes on forever – even after death. But this path must be chosen.
Models & Mentors – “I dream things that never were and I say, “Why Not?” – George Bernard Shaw
“A dreamer finds his way by moonlight…sees dawn before the rest of the world.” – Oscar Wilde
‘You have within you the strength, the patience and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world”
– Harriet Tubman
“I’ve had dreams, and I’ve had nightmares. I overcame the nightmares because of my dreams.” – Jonas Salk
Alysse Aallyn 