Alysse Aallyn

Category: Self-Sabotage

  • Purrsiflage – Today’s Zen for Your Inner Cat with Alysse Aallyn

    Feb 14

    Today the Universe Alerts You – You have a legal issue. Do you have a secret life? Most people do and Purrsons definitely do, because we contain multiples. Are you a bit of an alley cat? Have you been stepping over lines in public or private? Remember, lawbreakers break themselves.

    Do You Dream of Judges? Lawyers? Court? Are you obsessed with TV programs about justice? When justice is delayed or denied, do you obsess about that? Have you been feeling unjustly punished? Do you envy or rage against those who have “gotten away with something”?

    Purrson’s Desire for Justice is Hardwired – Just as our desire for freedom is factory installed, so is our demand for fairness. Do you envy or rage against those who have “gotten away with something”?  Think: “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be filled.” In my view, the mere concept of Complete Justice is heaven enough. We are repeatedly warned that it won’t ever match our earthly ideologies, that we are children scrapping in a sandbox who haven’t noticed, much less comprehended, the real issues.

    What Is Our Armor? – What laws resonate with you? Do you believe in karma? How would you define it? What laws make you angry? Which laws would you modify? What is your attitude towards the police – protectors of order or agents of mayhem? Dick Nixon was famous for talking endlessly about “restoring law and order” until just before he was forced to resign because of multiple crimes. Many Trump followers insist everything Trump has done is “justified because Democrats are worse.” Is this a race to the bottom? Where’s the off-ramp?

    Purrson Danger – “Judge not lest ye be judged” is a scary proposition. How would we come off if our standards were used against us? Come to think of it, what are our standards? Are they fluid? Flexible? Jesus also said the “letter” i.e. “written rule” KILLS. That it’s the “spirit that gives life.”

    Law Is Our Armor – Purrsons dream of a “spirit-filled” Law. Maybe you wanted to go to Law School but life intervened. It’s never too late to study any subject that’s close to our heart. We become Purrsons because we wish for heroes; I think that’s the sole reason for the wild popularity of the Marvel movie series.

    Do You Admire Heroes Because They Break the Rules, or because they uphold them? We acknowledge the need for rules, but how can we make sure they’re “spirit-filled”?  In what areas of your life are you too rigid? In which are you too flexible? Imagine yourself speaking in court, making a case for yourself. What arguments would you give? Ask your dreams to start imagining a Justice World. How would it look?

    Models & Mentors – “Law is not law if it violates the principles of eternal justice” – Lydia Maria Child

    “The only stable state is one where all are equal before the law” – Aristotle

    “Law is the public conscience” – Thomas Hobbes

    ‘Able in argument, accurate in analysis, strict in study, candid with clients and honest with adversaries, today I shall not, to win a point, lose my soul” – St. Thomas More

    “If we desire respect for the law, we must make law respectable” – Louis D. Brandeis

  • Purrsiflage – Today’s Zen for Your Inner Kitty with Alysse Aallyn

    Feb 11

    Today You’re Upside Down – You need a re-set. Your operating instructions must be faulty. But where did they go wrong? That is what we must figure out. Do you find yourself frequently fantasizing about some magic dissolution of “the rules” to benefit only you?  

    The problem with mirages – especially those we long to believe in – is that they become illusions. Falsehoods. We need so desperately to cling to an obvious fantasy we willingly surrender our ability to discern fact from fiction.

    Illusions are Powerful – The seventeenth century Dutch needed a desirable luxury exchange item the privileged could trade back and forth for status reasons. Yes, that was the tulip bulb. It was a bubble – of course– the bottom fell out – of course – and left a whole lot of previously comfortable people bankrupt. We don’t have anything like that, these days, do we? Or do we? People are rushing to invest in crypto because of its complete lack of regulation. But without rules, it’s laughably easy to steal people’s money without accountability or recourse.

    We’re All Rubes Here – Some people are investing in admittedly worthless “tokens” – just in case they go up in value. Does anyone remember the Beanie Baby craze? I had a friend who stored Mrs. Butterworth bottles in her basement – she had a basement FULL of Mrs. Butterworth bottles – because they were just BOUND to be worth something – someday. Have you seen what happens when everyone runs to the same side of the ferryboat? It tips them into the water! Successful investing involves being where the crowd isn’t – before they get there. That takes careful research. Relying on luck and chance is a fool’s game. 

    Pump & Dump Schemes – entice the unwary to “Get in on the ground floor.” But they’re just selling something worthless and they want you to bail them out. Bad decision making or deliberate manipulation?

    Some Illusions Are Life Strengthening – Others are Life-Depleting.

    I can’t stress this strongly enough: Purrsons Need to Avoid Fantasy Thinking. In spite of the fact that we think we are cats, Purrsons actually traffic in reality. We create worthwhile magic, the kind that protects and enhances – so we can’t be deceived by the “dark arts” that punish and stigmatize. Your map must represent actual ground, not pie in the sky, or you won’t be able to maneuver across it. When a mirage evolves into an illusion a delusion is created.

    Illusions Become Delusions – Delusions are a “fixed false belief resistant to reason; a distortion of reality to which the victim clings fiercely, even in the face of visible harm. The Buddhists say life itself is an illusion. But they mean that metaphorically, to keep you from become “attached” to the “ephemeral.”  Take the example of clinging to “fake food” and pushing away nutrition. Like any addict, we deny what our own bodies tell us; that we are “allergic” to this consumption.  When Purrsons end up battling FOR falsity – it’s the worst of all possible situations.

    Purrson Challenge – Let’s learn to enjoy facing facts. Enjoy reality as a bracing polar dip.  Do you find yourself trapped by an illusion that you used to need but now is killing you? You can identify this by your increasing suffering over an increasingly problematic existence and your diminishing pleasure over things that used to be reliable joys. Is it a relationship? An activity? A belief? Look at the problem honestly. Find others going through the same experience and generate frank discussion.

    Flying Monkeys Abound – If any group member rushes in defensively to shame and discourage you, to convince you you’re not feeling or understanding what you KNOW you ARE feeling and understanding then realize you’re being gaslighted.  That means that what you’re trying to exit is a “cult” that is NOT devoted to the health of its members but to their diminishment and co-option. Stop communicating with those flying monkeys and find somebody who supports the truth of your actual experience AND your desire to feel better.

    Purrson Danger – The path to re-making yourself is fraught with danger and you will require all sorts of help. Don’t be discouraged if your feelings are volatile and transitory and you are confused about their reality. Move slowly, consulting Models & Mentors – kind others who respect your autonomy, individuality and with whom you feel safe.

    Purrson Opportunity –  Relax! Purrsons will become adept at shifting vision from night vision to day vision, forward and backwards through time, manifesting others’ auras until we can see and harmonize with possibility and love.

    We Transform Illusion Through Skill – The impossible takes longer, because language is not as flexible as reality. You are embarked on an exciting growth challenge where you leave a constricting carapace behind. Sometimes the “shell” was protective and served for a time to keep you safe while you matured. You don’t need to disparage the old you, or the old relationship; it served its purpose. Often people who have been through a trauma say afterwards they wouldn’t change the past, because they treasure and embrace the person they’ve become.

    Models & Mentors – “Argue for your limitations, and sure enough, they’re yours” – Richard Bach

    “The world is an illusion we must take seriously.”

    – Aldous Huxley

    “The light at the end of the tunnel is not an illusion – the tunnel’s the illusion” – Alysse Aallyn

    “Separation from each other is an optical illusion of reality” – Albert Einstein

    ‘Limit, like fear, is often an illusion” – Michael Jordan

  • Sleeping Orchid – Creative Boot Camp for Sensitives & Empaths with Alysse Aallyn

    Doubt – Regret

      Stop Second-Guessing – Something’s bothering you. Do you lie awake at night recalling bad moments from the past? Doubt – Regret sabotages you from moving forward. From experimenting. This archetype says you need tackle the problem of “change” NOW. What moods flood in when you close your eyes? What would you change NOW? How do you WANT to change?

      Why are People So Afraid of Looking Inside their Psyches? Because of Regret, that’s why. The things we’ve already done or that we already are that can never be changed. Sorrow floods in – now we feel helpless, we hate ourselves and we can’t fix anything. We fear we are in for a bad, cold, frigid winter of discontent.

      Lighten Your Load – No one can do this but you. You are serving as prosecutor against your own life and guess what? – that’s not fair. Fundamental Attribution Error means people blaming individuals for actions that were the result of mass decisions or life circumstances over which they had no actual control. Look into it, if you want to. (Sometimes we need to.) Or you can just forgive yourself and move on. After all, we’ve got the future to think of. Creativity won’t be stymied.

      Creative Challenge – First, forgive yourself. You were held hostage by fortune (we all were) and inevitably you went full-on Stockholm Syndrome and identified with your attackers and tried to please them. (We all did. It’s called Society.) Now you’re madder at yourself than you are at them. Forgive yourself.

      Creative Danger – The moment you drop that burden, you’re in another part of the forest. Surprise! This wasn’t the plan but here you are. The Danger is – you’ll give up. Don’t. NEVER GIVING UP IS THE CREATIVE’S SUPERPOWER. We CREATE paths where none existed. You can easily see from every fairy tale and hero’s journey you’ve ever studied that now we’re getting to the Good Part. By testing your muscle you get to grow your muscle. If your muscle is never tested, it withers. So get ready.

      Creative Opportunity – We don’t know everything. Even Jesus demonstrated surprise about the way things turned out. Be gentle as a dove, he advised, but wily as a serpent. Serpents can get out of anything. (Ask a herpetologist.) And so can you. It’s just a bigger world than we knew – both inner and outer – so get mapping. I guarantee you – IT GETS BETTER.

      YOUR Superpower: You feel too deeply, that’s how you got into this snarl, but guess what? It’s a super power. Our brains are constructed in a way that allows us to move backward and forward through time, watching and judging ourselves from the outside, always considering multiple possibilities, outcomes and problems. We have a tendency to regard this power as a burden and envy those whose lack of questioning seems to make them more carefree. But it is this exact superpower that designates us as Creatives.

      Even When We Enjoy We Regret: There’s always something we could have done differently. And that unknown outcome is bound to seem preferable to the reality in which we find ourselves. Don’t waste time on regret. You drew the “Regret” archetype to remind you that time – even pleasurable time – is always limited. Restrict the amount of time you spend on regret! Congratulate yourself on your ability to play a multi-level game, forward and backward through time, peopled by a panoply of characters. Open up your Training Journal and take a God’s eye view of your world. See anything different? Fresh? Exciting? New?

      There’s Lots to Enjoy About Beginning! You’re going to surprise yourself. It’s never – ending! The world is freshening up and so can you.

      Models & Mentors – “I’d rather regret the things I’ve done than the things I haven’t done.”
      – Lucille Ball

      “There are no regrets in life, only lessons.” – Jennifer Aniston

      “We have only one life, and the second life begins the moment we realize that fact” – Confucius

      “I was designed by my Creator to not only feel pain and love but to become whole inside it. I am a Creative” –Glennon Doyle

      “Autumn, the year’s last, loveliest smile” – William Cullen Bryant

      Haiku: Regret

      Coulda
      Woulda
      Shoulda
      Didn’t. Now you
      Wish
      Things
      Different.
      Clean slate.
      Write.

    1. Butterfly Language for Caterpillars – walking the path of attachment with Alysse Aallyn

      Recovery = REBIRTH “In the Hour of Our Death”

      “If you don’t have a loving relationship with yourself, no one else will.”

      Several times on your path you will feel the need to “re-boot” and start over. “Rebirth” is available to us any time, following a period of reflection, retreat and re-centering.

      “Recovery” begins to happen we manage to repel a demonic force that kept us in thrall – addiction, illusion, corruption, compulsive behavior; even a poisonous culture. Sometimes, we were hostage to another human being who didn’t have our best interests at heart.

      What ARE our best interests? As our brains begin to clear we begin to understand. Ernest Hemingway used to say we are “stronger at the broken places” and Nietzsche expressed it as “what doesn’t kill me makes me stronger” but obviously these maxims only hold true if a complete healing has taken place.

      Complete healing provides peace as well as joy. We give thanks that we have started on the journey.


      Second Chances – Expect to stumble. Watching toddlers try to “rise and walk” we must consider what a good thing it is that they don’t mind being laughed at. (In fact, they love it.) It takes them quite awhile to figure out this new challenge. Like beginning skiers, they cling to objects, sway exaggeratedly back and forth, slam into others, and plop down SPLAT; not just once or twice but over and over. In fact the toddler hasn’t been born who suddenly vaults up suavely and starts swanning around in a sophisticated manner.

      And those are the ones with no impediment to walking – watched hungrily by the less fortunate who only wish they could be blessed with this magical opportunity to make public fools of themselves.

      Once we take in the meaning of these facts we embrace the last step of Recovery: “Expect to go splat.” Of course we don’t WANT to – fingers crossed – it’s dangerous and bruising. We’d better arrange to have someone around – just in case. But you don’t fail unless you refuse to rise again. Don’t even bother counting the times you were “brave”. It’s only the “getting back up” that counts. As long as you’re doing that, you’re a true winner.

      As we study ourselves with a desire to put our best foot forward we are increasingly overwhelmed with despair. This old self won’t do. We are the club no one wants to join; us included.

      We have to ask ourselves if part of our desire for the Other is a longing to be rid of Self. But how is this to be accomplished, when we know that any relationship built on fakery must surely fail. How can a New Self be the Real One?

      Fortunately, there is a model for this in the recovery movement – legions of people giving up self-destructive habits and birthing a fresh new self. They say the relief is glorious, everything is more meaningful as their confidence grows. We want some of that. We must abjure all the behavior that have caused us suffering in the past. What are they, exactly? Let’s identify and enhance the wonderful things about us, the self we want to keep.

      And in the Hour of Our Death

      I am wind sucked
      The tempest starts without me
      Scuttled like a leaf


      I loose your hand
      My words come fire
      My blood blasts forth


      And vomits out
      This darkness
      Some god commands


      I push
      I flee – I won’t be born –
      I push


      And then relax.
      It can’t happen all at once.
      The corpses dance


      The trees devour their own roots
      I’m spat like pulp
      I push –


      I’ve gone too far
      To get back now.
      I’ve lost your cord


      Threaded in the frenzy
      That is life.
      My lips are ceremonies


      My hips are burial grounds.
      Silence rushes in to bear me up and I explode
      To atoms.


      What is this new lightness?
      Into this furnace of stars
      I collapse my burdens like


      A house of cards, I soar, I flirt
      My strength
      Is limitless


      My soul, my life
      An infinite caress.

    2. The Language of Butterflies – Walking the Path of Attachment with Alysse Aallyn

      REGRET feeds DOUBT

        As soon as we begin refining our list in search of The One, we are filled with doubt. Fear of Missing Out dictates that even as we are talking to a Possible Soulmate our eyes search out the door to see what new person is coming in. There is a glorious book, essential to artists, called The War of Art (Steven Pressfield) which is actually about self-sabotage. In the very moments when we are trying to build something critically important to our emotional, psychic and spiritual health, a demonic voice comes out of Who Knows Where, whispering, “It’s the wrong thing and you’re doing it wrong.” According to Steven Pressfield, if you listen to this voice you will never accomplish anything, because Honest, Committed Effort is required to get your project off the ground, even if it ultimately fails. And if it ultimately fails, it will turn out to be the very project that helps you see what is Really Important, and understand What to Do Next. Choose wisely; searching for a relationship that is restorative, not exploitative, a partner who is complementary and complimentary, and push doubt aside.

        Cloverleaf


        Some roads lead nowhere;
        They’re my favorites.
        I held my breath while
        You drew my face in
        Blinding strokes
        Creamed my mouth with curling lines
        Destroyed one picture; then another
        Never let me see. You
        Left at dawn while I
        Ran in circles, calling
        Raging, spending blackened
        Nights without you,
        No blue thigh to guard
        My trusting heart while yours looks out
        To gauge the coming storm.
        Trapped in cloverleaves,
        Sentenced to school by
        Streams of angry judges –
        Balked by
         The enervating past
        Of unlived lives
        Every face I paint is yours.
        Open up the chilly ruffles
        Of my breasts
        One more time –
        To beauty; yours and mine
        Electrify your
        Eldritch spine –
         Your body so much lighter
        Than the mountain that you loved
        Better than you loved me –
         The course you learned
        Better than you learned me – so
        Overconfident that
         you’ll come back
        I float across the powdered snow
        In bird-winged silence
        All-enveloping
        Unless I’m
        Lost?

        Lost and frozen like your heart?