Alysse Aallyn

Category: #Seniors

  • Butterfly Language for Caterpillars – Soulmate Seeking with Alysse Aallyn

    Children = LEGACY – “Sonogram”

    “How have you evolved?”

    You are looking for a partner in the joint project that is existence. Sometimes our longing is for a family; children. Just as we need mentoring, so we long to mentor.

    Your focus shifts to the perfect combination of you and your Soulmate’s perfected traits, and on the legacy you will leave behind. No matter that there may be an “embarrassment of absence” in its’ non-presence, there is always time to dream and plan.

    What would we wish others to write on our memorial plaque? Does the universe agree with us about what kind of person we are? What would others say about us and our importance – how would they describe us? It is time to bring these visions of self into synch. Some of us leave solid objects behind – buildings, say, and others leave people – human beings we have generated, affected or raised.

    Some of us leave blueprints – foundations, trusts, writings, neighborhood alliances. Some of us leave works of art that fill the minds of watchers with mystery and awe.

    And some people don’t care at all. “Après moi le deluge” is the “Let them eat cake” philosophy attributed to Louis XIV – why should he care what happens following his death? In the annals of selfishness this is the ultimate selfishness; a human being with vast power, privilege and control, who just doesn’t care about other human beings. How do we use our powers and privileges? How do we choose to be remembered?

    “Parents’ unlived lives are child’s greatest burden,” says Jung. We get it! You could apply this to marriage partners. Is one of them suffering an “unlived life” to enhance the existence of the other partner? This can’t happen with Soulmates.

    We have expectations for every relationship – where do they come from? “Expectations” – unrealistic, counter-intuitive, contra-indicated and downright destructive – are the ruination of soulmates. Parents are ALL about expectations.

    They can’t help it so we can’t help it. Helicopter parents hovering are like farmers digging up their own crops to see how growth is coming. The kids are left with a disturbed sense of either never getting a personality started, or of having to cultivate a “secret” personality.

    Such parents take the concept of “legacy” to mean that they personally will continue to magically exist on this planet, refusing to comprehend the real definition of resourcing and empowering persons familiar but distinctive from themselves.

    Gratified parents are no easier on their progeny, if anything, they become MORE intrusive. So many of us are so exhausted by BEING children that the idea of HAVING children is unimaginable. We seek a soulmate with the same level of shock. It feels shameful to confess this, and it adds another worry – won’t we only attract selfish people?

    But what if you WANT to have kids? What if you dare? What if that biological clock is gonging away and that’s why you’re in the Soulmate Market to begin with? Clearly someone like that is not looking for a soulmate, they’re seeking a Co-parent, (possibly a step-parent); a co-provider or maybe just an excellent set of genes.

    Easier to focus on this requirement for a Soulmate to “join” your family. They’ll have to, and you’ll have to join theirs, if they join you.

    Sometimes you “join” by rejecting. You’re going to have to listen to their horror story, and they’ll have to listen to yours. Sex makes babies; that does happen, and should be discussed. But first, you’re going to have to look deeply into someone’s eyes and know that they’re the one. This is the source of that mysterious feeling that you’ve known each other in some other life. And perhaps you have. No wonder they say, “Youth is wasted on the young.”

    Today’s mantra is, “Embrace youth…while you have it.”

    SONOGRAM

    This crowded world could not make do
    without your life;
    Summoned up, you surged
    you split the crust
    Shocked, I shuddered in my sheaves
    as you uncored
    Loosened in my skin as we 
    Unmerged. 

    We travelled to the rim;
    Your fragrant cell became
    a soul unsheathed.
    From my rind’s brim
    you blinkered on the world
    wondered at the fuss.
    We are you and yet
    You are not us.

    Committed to a course beyond our love –
    a forfeit tithe;
    gentle as a snake and
    wiser than a dove;
    As stars consume their fuel
    you were birthed to speed our lives.

    Against the odds we found you
    You found us
    against the odds.
    Consecrated to the great transformer 
    We love like mothers;
    We create like gods.

  • #DreamTherapy – Dream Journaling with Alysse Aallyn

    Dispossessed – Do you dream of transgressions committed against you? Are you being robbed, stolen from, deprived? We wake with a sense of loss. Something has been taken from us, but what? The “politics of grievance” has always waged particular power, breeding anger and revenge. “You took something from me I will take something from you.” Yet our loss remains amorphous. We cling to the concept that we were “entitled” to something we no longer have. Philosophers and psychologists speculate; is it the mother’s womb? The family nest? What exactly is this lost paradise?

    You Can’t Take It With You – There is much talk nowadays that “the American Dream” is no longer possible. Very relevant to our study of DreamTherapy! Dreams are our specialty! But what was that “lost dream”, exactly? Some mystical concept of “wholeness” – family, life, work, rewards – that shifts according to who you are and where you are looking from. Once you are part of a “team” – even if just a team of two – the stakes seem different. Is that loss? Or accretion?

    Marx said all property is theft. We no longer fill our tombs with the junk of real life for use in the Great Beyond, “terra cotta servants” who will “wake” to wait on us hand and foot. We are forced to satisfy ourselves with strictly “mental” pictures. Is the detachment of elder-hood a triumph of success or a long wail of departure?

    Challenge – The “de-cluttering” movement did us all an enormous favor. Marie Kondo asked us to rid ourselves of every object that does not “spark joy”. That’s a high standard! We soon discover that daily life stirs up a lot of “necessary” detritus that sparks joy in literally no one but is a misery to live without. Probably the best way to free ourselves is to freshly contemplate this entitlement mystique. Open your Dream Journal and consider: What is it we think we are entitled to, and the next question is, is everyone entitled to the same thing? How’s that work?

    Danger – What does it mean when we believe we are entitled to something others are not? How do we stop them from wanting what we “have”? Do we “have” anything, really? It doesn’t take much to see this American Dream turning into a nightmare. We may say we’ve worked very hard for what we get but the whole principle of capitalism is to benefit from the work of others. It doesn’t take much to see the grievances THAT would stir up. And yet “state” ownership churns up grievances of its own. Ownership itself is fraught with exclusion, hostility, and danger. If our frame for adventure is a casino, we are mandating not winning, but losing on a massive scale.

    Opportunity – Do we possess objects when we are not physically present? Can we ever possess people? Do we WANT to take responsibility for another’s entire existence? Ask your Dream Journal: how do our dreams of freedom comport with our dreams of possession? Who – or what – is held captive? What if we freed ourselves – mentally and spiritually? Can we still enjoy the world if it doesn’t belong to us and we don’t belong to it? What would it feel like to release ourselves from captivity?

    Models & Mentors – “The more stuff I donated the more I was able to breathe, the more trash I threw away, the more weight I felt was lifted, the more I was able to see a new life, the more joy I found” – Zina Harrington

    “Clutter is postponed decisions” – Barbara Hemphill

    “Life is your masterpiece. Edit frequently and ruthlessly” – Nathan W. Morris

    “To the spoils belong the victor” – F. Scott Fitzgerald

    “Freedom is the oxygen of the soul” – Moshe Dayan

    Mantra – “I release”

    Meditation –

    #Haiku: Dispossessed

    We “own”
    Nothing:
    Objects, people, selves
    Sweated off
    As spirit
    Rises

  • #DreamTherapy – Dream Journaling with Alysse Aallyn

    Age – Wisdom – Dreaming of old people? Funerals? Yourself getting old? Dream of gurus on mountaintops, buddhas, palaces of wisdom? Or are you dreaming of a specific elder who had an influence – bad or good – on your young life?


    You Are Wiser Than You Know – Jung said- in the dream, you are everyone you dream about. This is a rather primitive expression of an obvious truth – you ”control”, “create” and hold the key to all these different people. You, alone, know exactly what their symbology represents. They are “shadows” of yourself. Jung called them “animas.” You summon them into being when you need them. DreamTherapy suggests you are yearning for insight, yearning for strength, desiring a map to explain the maze in which you find yourself. You contain the secrets of your own release.

    Challenge – in your Dream Journal, contrast elders you admire with those you avoid. Aren’t the latter complainers who stress to everyone they meet the bad hand life has dealt them? They complain about their health, politics, the weather, other people – whatever crosses the windscreen of their increasingly tiny minds. In their world the children never call, the doctors don’t help, the weather’s getting worse, the food is adulterated and we are all going to hell. There may be some truth to these claims but all we see is Ego. This person is clamoring ever more loudly for more ego strokes without apparently noticing the discomfort and distaste of those around them. Rather than trying a new strategy, they step up their whingeing. Read the room! Is what you want to scream at them but you realize they can no longer “learn.” This is the opposite of wisdom. This is senility. A brain is shutting down, a personality is beggared and no one wants to be around it.

    List in your Dream Journal the elders you admire. Nelson Mandela, Joe Biden, Desmond Tutu, The Dalai Lama, Deepak Chopra, Oprah Winfrey, Pema Chodron, the Pope? This person is Ego-Less. This is a person who talks about others, not themselves. They care for others. They discuss ideas rather than gossip and have a long memory of problems, solutions, trial and error. They keep themselves “young” in all the ways that matter. People flock to them.

    There’s an old Cherokee story about how each of us is born with a good wolf and a bad wolf inside of us. The one that gets stronger and takes control is the one you feed. Your challenge is to figure out how to practice wisdom every day. Accepting your dreams and encouraging their deepening understanding is the beginning of wisdom.

    Danger – The pursuit of gurus is inherently dangerous because there are a lot of con artists out there seeking hostages and slaves. Learn to avoid people who use:

    1. Projection – Subject is unwilling to see their own shortcomings and uses everything in their power to avoid being held accountable for them. Projection is a defense mechanism used to displace responsibility of one’s negative behaviors by attributing them to someone else. It acts as a digression that avoids ownership and accountability.
    2. Nonsensical conversations from hell – Word salad, circular conversations, ad hominem arguments, projection and gaslighting to disorient you and get you off track should you ever disagree with them or challenge them in any way.
    3. Blanket statements and generalizations –
    4. Misrepresenting your thoughts and feelings to the point of absurdity
    5. Nitpicking and moving the goal posts
    6. Changing the subject to evade accountability
    7. Covert and overt threats
    8. Name-calling – offensive labeling
    9. Destructive conditioning – Someone tries to condition you to associate your strengths, talents, and happy memories with abuse, frustration and disrespect. They do this by sneaking in covert and overt put-downs about idealized qualities and traits; sabotaging your goals, ruining celebrations, vacations and holidays. They may even isolate you from your friends and family and make you financially dependent upon them. Like Pavlov’s dogs, you’re essentially “trained” over time to become afraid of doing the very things that once made your life fulfilling.
    10. Smear campaigns and stalking
    11. Playing the Martyr
    12. Demands Immediate Unthinking Fealty – When someone stresses the fact that they are a “nice guy” or girl, that you should “trust them” right away or emphasizes their credibility without any provocation from you whatsoever, be wary.
    13. Baits and badgers you – Feigns innocence
    14. Boundary testing – You are not allowed to have boundaries or even triggers
    15. Aggressive jabs disguised as jokes
    16. Condescending sarcasm and patronizing tone
    17. Belittling and degrading – Shaming

    You can see this is all about Control. Avoid those who seek to control or dominate you. The Revered Elders mentioned above would not do that.

    Opportunity – You are being offered a chance to become a lighthouse to the world – resembling the people you admire. Don’t fear “age”, fear bitterness and self-seeking. Once you have advanced enough in your soul to feel compassion you will learn peace.

    Models & Mentors – “You can’t control the wind but you can learn to adjust your sails.” – Jimmy Dean

    “It always seems impossible till it’s done.” – Nelson Mandela

    “Knowledge speaks but wisdom listens” – Jimi Hendrix

    “I am thankful to those who said No. Because of them, I did it myself.”
    – Albert Einstein

    “Experience is not what happens to you, but what you do with what happens to you.” – Aldous Huxley

    “It is never too late to be who you might have been” – George Eliot

    ‘Wisdom is the journey no one can take for us” – Marcel Proust

    Mantra – “I understand”

    Meditation –

    #Haiku: Namaste

    Light
    Glows
    Within me
    Honoring
    The wisdom of
    The light
    Within you

  • Becoming a Goddess – the Goddess Oracle by Alysse Aallyn

    Resilience – Youth –

    Goddesses Bounce Back – Resilience is the province of youth, and because Goddesses live with the advantages of past, present and future all at once, they  treasure the pleasures of both maturity and resilience. 

    Dreaming About Your Childhood? Your conscious mind is “mining” your subconscious for guides to your deepest feelings now. Are you pick on a wrong path, and if so, why? Is it possible to go back and fix it?

    “You’re as Young as You Feel” is a true saying! Youthful old people are interested in everything. They are not frightened by new ideas. They don’t talk endlessly about their illnesses, complaints, how the world has gone to hell.  

    Goddesses Don’t Fear the Future. The nature of “resilience” is that you “spring back”. You can actually use mistakes as energy, to improve your map-making. Surely you’re familiar with ”resistance training.” You get better muscles that way!

    Goddess Are Battle-Tested – How can anyone feel “young” when life keeps beating you down? Goddesses experience negative reactions too – probably more so than most, since they aren’t interested in joining someone’s army or “going with the flow.”

    Goddesses Create the Flow – The way to improve your resilience is to upgrade your philosophy. Do you secretly believe that when people can no longer participate in the rat race, they should be shoveled under and it’s over? There’s an inspiring pep talk for the locker room!

    Goddesses Are Young Forever. Combine that with the far-seeing wisdom of planning and experience and you have a Superpower.

    Love and Intelligence REQUIRE Wisdom – Adopt a philosophy that gives you hope. This is easier to do around young people. Grandparents cling to grandchildren. It’s good for both of them.

    Don’t Get Stuck in a “Feedback Loop.” Don’t hang around depressing, toxic people who mouth depressing, toxic notions. In our society, aging people are shunted off onto sidings, gathered together in communities that focus on “nursing”. Depressed yet? Re-orient your mind to focus on “health.” Resilience is a requirement for healing all types of wounds.

    Goddesses Preserve the Hope of Youth – Hope is the goddess’s religion. Life will always win out, growing even against despair.

    Goddesses Preserve the Joy of Youth – Fighting difficult battles (even with oneself) means the relaxation afterwards feels extra delicious. Goddesses can play with anyone because they are still child-like. That is part of what we are fighting for.

    Goddess Opportunity – In a famous letter to Ann Landers, someone who wanted to go to medical school bewailed that they would forty years old when they got out!  Forty! Landers asked, “How old will you be if you DON’T go?” “Wise” people are those who realize HOW YOUNG THE REST OF YOU really are, who are complaining about being “too old” to do what you want to do. You have plenty of time, because ALL time is NOW. Your new mantra? “Spring back.”

    Goddesses Never Give Up – Surrendering can be a strategy. It is not giving up. There may be snow on the roof but there is plenty of fire in the fireplace. Sometimes, however, it is good to keep our fires to ourselves. Goddesses know how to bide our time, planning for extractions and disappearances.

    Models & Mentors – “Reasons for hope – our clever brains, the indomitable human spirit and above all, the commitment of young people when they’re empowered to take action” – Jane Goodall

    “We don’t even know how strong we are until we are forced to bring that hidden strength forward” – Isabel Allende

    “Success is not final, failure is not fatal, it is the courage to continue that counts’ – Winston Churchill

    “Hardships often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny”

    – C. S. Lewis

    #Haiku: Reincarnation through Books

    Multiple lives –

    Rising youth –

    Thriving age –

    Released death; re

    Peat; re

    Learn

  • Becoming a Goddess – The Goddess Oracle by Alysse Aallyn

    22. Age – Wisdom

    Goddesses Embody Wisdom and Wisdom Is Hard-Won. Is it time to make peace with your elders?  Do you feel you require an experienced hostage negotiator to free you from an infestation of the past?  Have you been dreaming of old people? Funerals? Aging in general? Dreaming of gurus atop mountains?  Buddhas, caves, palaces of wisdom?  Or are you fixating on a specific elder who had an influence – bad or good – on your young life?

    The Goddess’ Effort Is Sacred – Failure is when you don’t try. Experience is the great teacher. Bad Judgment leads to Experience which leads to Wisdom which leads to Good Judgment.

    You Are Wiser Than You Know –– Contrast elders you admire with those you avoid. Aren’t the latter complainers who stress to everyone they meet what a bad hand life has dealt them? They complain about their health, politics, the weather, other people – whatever crosses the windscreen of their increasingly tightening minds. In their world children never call, doctors don’t help, media is lying, weather’s getting worse, food is adulterated and we are all going to hell. This person is clamoring ever more loudly for ego strokes without apparently noticing the discomfort and distaste of those around them. Rather than trying a new strategy, they step up their whingeing.

    Read the Room! Is what you want to scream at them but you realize they can no longer “learn.” This is the opposite of wisdom. This is senility. A brain is shutting down, a personality is beggared and no one wants to be around it.

    Think of an Elder you Admire. Nelson Mandela, Joe Biden, St. Joan, Desmond Tutu, The Dalai Lama, Deepak Chopra, Oprah Winfrey, Pema Chodron, the Pope? These persons are Ego-Less.  Someone who talks about others, not themselves. They authentically care for others. They discuss ideas rather than gossip and have a long memory of problems, solutions, trial and error. They keep themselves “young” in all the ways that matter. People flock to them.

    There’s an Old Cherokee Story about how each of us is born with a good wolf and a bad wolf inside of us. The one that gets stronger and takes control is the one you feed.  Your challenge is to figure out how to practice your increasing wisdom every day. Accepting your dreams and encouraging their deepening understanding is the beginning of wisdom.

    The Pursuit of Gurus is Inherently Dangerous because there are a lot of con artists out there seeking hostages and slaves. Avoid dominance/submission games and people who use any of the following interpersonal techniques:

    1. They’re never “wrong.” Nothing is ever their fault. Only they know what is fashionable, appropriate and right. You are always wrong.
    1. Circular conversations, ad hominem arguments, projection and gaslighting –  They are the gate-keepers of reason and you the thirsty aspirant who will never succeed without their help.
    1. People only capable of hierarchical –  vertical, not horizontal relationships. Someone needs to be “on top.” It will never be “your turn.” You will always be dragooned into doing their bidding.
    1. Blanket statements and generalizations – Thick layers of protective blather will keep you from getting through to discuss any task at hand.
    1. Misrepresenting your thoughts and feelings to the point of absurdity – You are a poorly educated simplistic thinker and a deficient reasoner and they are in on all the secrets and are  the source of all wisdom. There’s no “cooperating” with these people.
    1. Nitpicking and moving the goal posts – Different rules for everyone and every day.
    1. Changing the subject to evade accountability – “This is your fault – You shouldn’t have given me that job to begin with.”
    1. Covert and overt threats –“If people know what you REALLY are, say, do, no one would be your friend.”
    1. Name-calling , stigmatizing, limiting– “Identity politics.” “You are a ___” Fill in the blank. And that’s all you’ll ever be in this guy’s eyes.
    1. Destructive conditioning – Abuse, frustration and disrespect are this person’s calling cards but it’s never their fault that they live in a cloud of toxicity. They want you in there, too. Decline.
    1. Smear campaigns and stalking – Endless power struggles. “Office politics.” Need I say more?
    1. Playing the Martyr – “Everyone’s lying about me. I have so many enemies!”
    1. Demands Immediate Unthinking Fealty – When someone stresses the fact that they are a “nice guy” or girl, that you should “trust them” right away or emphasizes their credibility without any provocation from you whatsoever, WALK AWAY.
    1. Baits and badgers you – testing your limits. Can you be made to lose control?
    1. Boundary testing –  “You owe me”  – “You’re committed” – “Everyone does it” to drag you into unethical enterprise
    1. Aggressive jabs disguised as jokes – “Can’t you laugh about yourself? Everyone else is laughing.”
    1. Condescending sarcasm and patronizing tone – Know-It-Alls

    No One Using the Above Techniques has your best interests at heart.

    Our Scars Define Beauty -You can see this struggle is all about Control. Goddesses avoid those who seek to control or dominate. Revered Elders such as those mentioned above would not do that. Treat others with respect and expect respect yourself.

    Goddesses Know Their Allies – Goddess don’t fear becoming experienced. We seek it. People come and go, but the right ones stay. Time shows you the difference between the strength and honor of another’s heart. Goddesses share their knowledge without fear of competition. We know we are unreproduceable.

    Goddesses Can Read the Signs – If you don’t believe in yourself, no one else will. Train yourself to trust yourself. You can read and write maps, you can interpret Nature, you see Red Flags before they wave for others.

    Goddesses Earn Peace – Random acts of kindness make everyone feel better. Goddess’ “can do” attitude spreads peace. Goddess welcome other peaceful spirits. We challenge the troubled to take their drama elsewhere.

    Models & Mentors – “You can’t control the wind but you can learn to adjust your sails.” – Jimmy Dean

    “It always seems impossible till it’s done.” – Nelson Mandela

    “Knowledge speaks but wisdom listens” – Jimi Hendrix

    “I am thankful to those who said No. Because of them, I did it myself.”

    – Albert Einstein

    “Experience is not what happens to you, but what you do with what happens to you.” – Aldous Huxley

    “It is never too late to be who you might have been” – George Eliot

    ‘Wisdom is the journey no one can take for us” – Marcel Proust

    #Haiku: Noble Heart

    Sit

    In peace;

    Regroup;

    Regift

    The rubble of your life

    Belongs to All.