Alysse Aallyn

Category: #Wisdom

  • Becoming a Goddess – the Goddess Oracle by Alysse Aallyn

    Discipline – The Bridge –

    No One Becomes a Goddess Without Discipline – Many fatally confuse discipline with punishment and avoid it until they sadly discover they’re now too debilitated to do anything. Uh oh! Don’t let this happen to you!

    Map-Making Means Map-Following – We adjust maps on the basis of experience. But we try them out first. Or we won’t know where they went wrong.  Goddesses are logical, not impulsive. Because impulses are outer-directed. Being a Goddess means being in control. Don’t apply if you don’t like being in control. Goddesses dislike the feeling of being out of control. 

    You’re Out of Control When You Don’t Know Where Impulses Are Coming From –  Lots of cues are subliminal and their directors want to keep it that way. They want you to think the desire is coming from INSIDE the house, not from their strategy room where bills are piling up. 

    You Become a Goddess by Getting to Know Yourself – YOUR ESSENTIAL SELF – that’s what makes you strong. Goddesses take the time to track the origin of their impulses down.

    1. Do I want it because I’ve done it before?
    2. Do I want it because other people are doing it?
    3. Do I want it because SOMEBODY ELSE insists?
    4. Do I want it because of advertisers & influencers?
    5. Do I need it to Join the Club?

    You’ve probably figured out Goddesses aren’t “Joiners.” 

    1. If you’re “used” to whatever it is, get “unused” to it. You’re in Goddess training, and it’s a whole new world. Relish the different feelings. If you sense you’re becoming unglued, contemplate substitutions.  You don’t need to go Cold Turkey on Pleasure, the Past, or your own physiology. What you need to do is get your body and mind acquainted with Trying New Things because of respectable scientific research says it will build you into the new person you need to be.
    2. Get loose from “the pack” right now. If you can’t, you’re not Goddess material. There’s two kinds of people, “swarmers” and “selves.” Swarmers don’t want to develop a self because it differentiates them from the pack. They want to do whatever the swarm is doing. It takes time – and can be ouchy – to develop a Self but the payoff is literally Eternal. Take the time. Or go down with the swarm if that sounds better.
    3. You’re being pressured to Follow a Course that suits Somebody Else. Let’s take a long look at this person and ask ourselves why they don’t care about our betterment, or who the hell we really are, or even anything other than their own Ego. Why are we servicing this person’s ego? We need to get AWAY from this person. They want a hostage or a slave or both.
    4. We’ve been seduced by the Virtual World!  It felt so good at the time. For a moment there it felt like maybe we found Our People. And they seemed so welcoming! Of course there is a price of admission, and you keep paying it with your denigration, not just in the service of someone’s ego, but a lot of people’s bank accounts. Figure out a way to tell these False Friends goodbye.

    From our Subconscious We Summon Rescue. In dreams sometimes it’s a hero, a fictional or historic figure or a spirit animal. Try reading folk or fairy tales right before bed. Fall asleep imagining strengthening muscles – physical, spiritual, emotional – growing inside you.

    You are Jack AND the Beanstalk! No giant can stand against you. Even the laziest, cruelest corner of the self ultimately collapses to reveal a Tiny Child yearning for effective mothering. Turns out, that’s what you were looking for all along. Time to give birth to yourself, then mother yourself.

    Discipline is the Only Path to Achieving What We Want. Nothing is achieved (or appreciated!)  without discipline, which only means conforming your behavior to a previously conceived pattern. What ideas spring up when you think about this? Is “discipline” always cruel?  Painful? Is it one of your fears? Or the map to the orderly life you long for?

    You Are Your Best Friend and Best Parent – Nothing works in your life until you learn delayed gratification and stick-to-itiveness. But first you must experiment with other patterns – some of which –depending on your upbringing – can be hellish.  So you have THAT to get past. You will definitely need to harness all your dream power to get yourself over the finish line.

    Goddesses Adapt Discipline to Enhance Thriving. But who’s doing the adapting  – the Cruel Taskmaster, the Disgusted Lover, the Generous Parent or the Permissive Saint? You contain all these (and they live in your dreams) so which will you listen to?  Who will you empower? Who do you feed?

    The Choice You Make Controls your Future. Consult appealing patterns that have worked for others and blend to taste. Realize it’s a process; a series of moments. You’re training like an athlete; every day you master new capabilities. Develop a sophisticated discernment you can trust to guide you.

    Goddesses Set Marks and Hit Them – Forming habits is easier than breaking them apart, so goddess know that preventing bad habits is the core of discipline. But bad habits sneak up on us, they will form anyway, so part of your discipline will always be turning away from something that was formerly pleasurable. Enjoy the peace that comes with each small step.

    Goddesses Know How to Keep Going – Discipline is the bridge that gets you from where you are to where you want to be. Always use a “spotter” – someone who wants the best for you – a professional who’s “been there” and who can keep you from going over the edge.

    Goddesses Celebrate Their Discipline – Self-acceptance comes from experiencing our humanity to the fullest. We are “parenting” our much-loved and respected self, the one who starts out as a toddler with no self-control whom we’re trying to keep out of the fire. Forgive yourself. And keep going.

    Make Discipline Visual – Charts, maps, graphs and lists that hearten & cheer are key to purposeful pathways. Figure out a way to picture your values. Checking off boxes and cherishing the “proof” of a successful day becomes your joy.

    Models & Mentors –  “Through self-discipline comes freedom” – Aristotle

    “Motivation gets you going, but discipline keeps you going” – John C. Maxwell

    “All success begins with self-discipline. It starts with you.” – Dwayne Johnson

    ‘Day by day – what you choose, what you think, what you do, is who you become” – Heraclitus

    #Haiku: Discipline

    Discipline is

    Choosing

    Between what you want now

    And what you want

    Most

  • Becoming a Goddess – the Goddess Oracle by Alysse Aallyn

    Resilience – Youth –

    Goddesses Bounce Back – Resilience is the province of youth, and because Goddesses live with the advantages of past, present and future all at once, they  treasure the pleasures of both maturity and resilience. 

    Dreaming About Your Childhood? Your conscious mind is “mining” your subconscious for guides to your deepest feelings now. Are you pick on a wrong path, and if so, why? Is it possible to go back and fix it?

    “You’re as Young as You Feel” is a true saying! Youthful old people are interested in everything. They are not frightened by new ideas. They don’t talk endlessly about their illnesses, complaints, how the world has gone to hell.  

    Goddesses Don’t Fear the Future. The nature of “resilience” is that you “spring back”. You can actually use mistakes as energy, to improve your map-making. Surely you’re familiar with ”resistance training.” You get better muscles that way!

    Goddess Are Battle-Tested – How can anyone feel “young” when life keeps beating you down? Goddesses experience negative reactions too – probably more so than most, since they aren’t interested in joining someone’s army or “going with the flow.”

    Goddesses Create the Flow – The way to improve your resilience is to upgrade your philosophy. Do you secretly believe that when people can no longer participate in the rat race, they should be shoveled under and it’s over? There’s an inspiring pep talk for the locker room!

    Goddesses Are Young Forever. Combine that with the far-seeing wisdom of planning and experience and you have a Superpower.

    Love and Intelligence REQUIRE Wisdom – Adopt a philosophy that gives you hope. This is easier to do around young people. Grandparents cling to grandchildren. It’s good for both of them.

    Don’t Get Stuck in a “Feedback Loop.” Don’t hang around depressing, toxic people who mouth depressing, toxic notions. In our society, aging people are shunted off onto sidings, gathered together in communities that focus on “nursing”. Depressed yet? Re-orient your mind to focus on “health.” Resilience is a requirement for healing all types of wounds.

    Goddesses Preserve the Hope of Youth – Hope is the goddess’s religion. Life will always win out, growing even against despair.

    Goddesses Preserve the Joy of Youth – Fighting difficult battles (even with oneself) means the relaxation afterwards feels extra delicious. Goddesses can play with anyone because they are still child-like. That is part of what we are fighting for.

    Goddess Opportunity – In a famous letter to Ann Landers, someone who wanted to go to medical school bewailed that they would forty years old when they got out!  Forty! Landers asked, “How old will you be if you DON’T go?” “Wise” people are those who realize HOW YOUNG THE REST OF YOU really are, who are complaining about being “too old” to do what you want to do. You have plenty of time, because ALL time is NOW. Your new mantra? “Spring back.”

    Goddesses Never Give Up – Surrendering can be a strategy. It is not giving up. There may be snow on the roof but there is plenty of fire in the fireplace. Sometimes, however, it is good to keep our fires to ourselves. Goddesses know how to bide our time, planning for extractions and disappearances.

    Models & Mentors – “Reasons for hope – our clever brains, the indomitable human spirit and above all, the commitment of young people when they’re empowered to take action” – Jane Goodall

    “We don’t even know how strong we are until we are forced to bring that hidden strength forward” – Isabel Allende

    “Success is not final, failure is not fatal, it is the courage to continue that counts’ – Winston Churchill

    “Hardships often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny”

    – C. S. Lewis

    #Haiku: Reincarnation through Books

    Multiple lives –

    Rising youth –

    Thriving age –

    Released death; re

    Peat; re

    Learn

  • Becoming a Goddess – the Goddess Oracle by Alysse Aallyn

     Ingenuity – Flight

    Goddesses Use Ingenuity to Rise Above –  Everyone has flying dreams! In those moments, we experience the absolute power of potential, which is exactly what Goddessing is about. We often wake from them with a feeling of disappointed sadness: “You mean I’m earth-bound? I want to go back!’

    Goddesses are Transformers – Your mind is a ever-changing tool that not only discerns and elucidates and solves “problems”, it transfigures them with transcendental thinking. Difficulties dissolve as the potential for revolution becomes clear. Goddesses rise above the problem to survey it from other angles. We can soar over the difficulty with prescriptive imagination!  Our most transformative tool is the question: “What if?”

    Ingenuity sees Connections where Others see Limits. Ingenuity

    relaxes by “tinkering.” Let’s become expert at cultivating the alpha brain waves to achieve “flow” – a condition of subconscious harmony where ideas spring up and potentialities thrive. “Flow” is true freedom.

    Goddess Danger: Can You “Waste” Your Life Daydreaming?  I’m one of those people who says “No”!  But the mind can create traps – cultural, educational and emotional – to keep us on a sabotaging treadmill of circular reasoning that gets us nowhere.  Usually you can tell this is happening when you hear an intrusive “voice”: “You shouldn’t be doing this” “You’re an idiot” “That won’t work.”  That’s not you talking; it’s a “Hidden Enemy” brainworm you are allowing into your Sacred Space.

    The “Hidden Enemy” is an Invader – a parasite you picked up someplace. It could be school, family, online, it could be cultural or psychological – that doesn’t really matter.  The Hidden Enemy is determined undermine all your efforts to focus and connect. Without the confidence to dream, think and experiment you can’t become your best self. So the Hidden Enemy must be expelled.

    Goddess Opportunity –  Meditation is practicing to take control of your own brain, and as such, it is vital. Like piano scales and ballet steps the practice itself matters less than the fact that you do it every day. Wonderful Meditation apps exist to help you on this journey. This is not on the “winning” or “losing” spectrum any more than massage is, it is simply something that must be done every day to practice recognizing the Hostile and Destructive Voice and forcefully pushing it out of your brain. If you need confidence to apply this practice, join a meditation group.

    Goddesses Create Heaven – In a supportive environment voices saying, “You can’t do it” are drowned out by empowering affirmations. Some people use music to achieve this state, others use meditation. Fans of psychology might wish to make an effort to study where these voices came from. Who are they? What happened to those people? Why did they attack you? Now that you are no longer a child you can usually see them for the tiny, disappointed, bitter little minds they were. These are not forces to emulate. Deliberately let them go. Repeat after me: “I am sorry for you, but you have no power over me”.

    When You Can’t Go Backwards or Forwards the Only Solution is Up – Goddesses are accustomed to thinking outside the box because they long ago realized they would never fit the box society had chosen for them.

    Goddesses Invent – Goddess figure out brand new ways to do things based on innovative reasoning, creative solutions and “win-win” thinking.

    Goddesses Adapt – Goddess have been strategizing in their Goddess Journals and mapmaking on their Vision Boards for so long soon they can do it in their heads, on the fly. We know Plan A will probably not happen, possibly not even B, C, or D but a combination of all these or something new entirely that comes to you suddenly, in the heat of the moment.

    Goddesses Amaze – Surprise is the entire Art of Beauty, says Alysse Aallyn; absolute originality is the Art of Surprise.  Learn to enjoy the unexpected. Don’t allow others to dictate to you about behaviors and modalities. Above all, Goddesses are free.

    Models & Mentors – “No problem of human making is too great to be overcome by human ingenuity, human energy and the untiring hope of the human spirit”

    – Bill Clinton

    “Mathematical reasoning is the exercise of inspiration and ingenuity” – Alan Turing

    “You cannot solve a problem with the same mind that created it” – Albert Einstein

    “Those who do not think outside the box are easily contained” – Nicolas Manetta

    #Haiku: Flight – Ingenuity

    I can’t

    Becomes “I will”:

    Eyes closed,

    Dreaming:

    Fantasy prompts

    Invention

  • Becoming a Goddess – The Goddess Oracle by Alysse Aallyn

    22. Age – Wisdom

    Goddesses Embody Wisdom and Wisdom Is Hard-Won. Is it time to make peace with your elders?  Do you feel you require an experienced hostage negotiator to free you from an infestation of the past?  Have you been dreaming of old people? Funerals? Aging in general? Dreaming of gurus atop mountains?  Buddhas, caves, palaces of wisdom?  Or are you fixating on a specific elder who had an influence – bad or good – on your young life?

    The Goddess’ Effort Is Sacred – Failure is when you don’t try. Experience is the great teacher. Bad Judgment leads to Experience which leads to Wisdom which leads to Good Judgment.

    You Are Wiser Than You Know –– Contrast elders you admire with those you avoid. Aren’t the latter complainers who stress to everyone they meet what a bad hand life has dealt them? They complain about their health, politics, the weather, other people – whatever crosses the windscreen of their increasingly tightening minds. In their world children never call, doctors don’t help, media is lying, weather’s getting worse, food is adulterated and we are all going to hell. This person is clamoring ever more loudly for ego strokes without apparently noticing the discomfort and distaste of those around them. Rather than trying a new strategy, they step up their whingeing.

    Read the Room! Is what you want to scream at them but you realize they can no longer “learn.” This is the opposite of wisdom. This is senility. A brain is shutting down, a personality is beggared and no one wants to be around it.

    Think of an Elder you Admire. Nelson Mandela, Joe Biden, St. Joan, Desmond Tutu, The Dalai Lama, Deepak Chopra, Oprah Winfrey, Pema Chodron, the Pope? These persons are Ego-Less.  Someone who talks about others, not themselves. They authentically care for others. They discuss ideas rather than gossip and have a long memory of problems, solutions, trial and error. They keep themselves “young” in all the ways that matter. People flock to them.

    There’s an Old Cherokee Story about how each of us is born with a good wolf and a bad wolf inside of us. The one that gets stronger and takes control is the one you feed.  Your challenge is to figure out how to practice your increasing wisdom every day. Accepting your dreams and encouraging their deepening understanding is the beginning of wisdom.

    The Pursuit of Gurus is Inherently Dangerous because there are a lot of con artists out there seeking hostages and slaves. Avoid dominance/submission games and people who use any of the following interpersonal techniques:

    1. They’re never “wrong.” Nothing is ever their fault. Only they know what is fashionable, appropriate and right. You are always wrong.
    1. Circular conversations, ad hominem arguments, projection and gaslighting –  They are the gate-keepers of reason and you the thirsty aspirant who will never succeed without their help.
    1. People only capable of hierarchical –  vertical, not horizontal relationships. Someone needs to be “on top.” It will never be “your turn.” You will always be dragooned into doing their bidding.
    1. Blanket statements and generalizations – Thick layers of protective blather will keep you from getting through to discuss any task at hand.
    1. Misrepresenting your thoughts and feelings to the point of absurdity – You are a poorly educated simplistic thinker and a deficient reasoner and they are in on all the secrets and are  the source of all wisdom. There’s no “cooperating” with these people.
    1. Nitpicking and moving the goal posts – Different rules for everyone and every day.
    1. Changing the subject to evade accountability – “This is your fault – You shouldn’t have given me that job to begin with.”
    1. Covert and overt threats –“If people know what you REALLY are, say, do, no one would be your friend.”
    1. Name-calling , stigmatizing, limiting– “Identity politics.” “You are a ___” Fill in the blank. And that’s all you’ll ever be in this guy’s eyes.
    1. Destructive conditioning – Abuse, frustration and disrespect are this person’s calling cards but it’s never their fault that they live in a cloud of toxicity. They want you in there, too. Decline.
    1. Smear campaigns and stalking – Endless power struggles. “Office politics.” Need I say more?
    1. Playing the Martyr – “Everyone’s lying about me. I have so many enemies!”
    1. Demands Immediate Unthinking Fealty – When someone stresses the fact that they are a “nice guy” or girl, that you should “trust them” right away or emphasizes their credibility without any provocation from you whatsoever, WALK AWAY.
    1. Baits and badgers you – testing your limits. Can you be made to lose control?
    1. Boundary testing –  “You owe me”  – “You’re committed” – “Everyone does it” to drag you into unethical enterprise
    1. Aggressive jabs disguised as jokes – “Can’t you laugh about yourself? Everyone else is laughing.”
    1. Condescending sarcasm and patronizing tone – Know-It-Alls

    No One Using the Above Techniques has your best interests at heart.

    Our Scars Define Beauty -You can see this struggle is all about Control. Goddesses avoid those who seek to control or dominate. Revered Elders such as those mentioned above would not do that. Treat others with respect and expect respect yourself.

    Goddesses Know Their Allies – Goddess don’t fear becoming experienced. We seek it. People come and go, but the right ones stay. Time shows you the difference between the strength and honor of another’s heart. Goddesses share their knowledge without fear of competition. We know we are unreproduceable.

    Goddesses Can Read the Signs – If you don’t believe in yourself, no one else will. Train yourself to trust yourself. You can read and write maps, you can interpret Nature, you see Red Flags before they wave for others.

    Goddesses Earn Peace – Random acts of kindness make everyone feel better. Goddess’ “can do” attitude spreads peace. Goddess welcome other peaceful spirits. We challenge the troubled to take their drama elsewhere.

    Models & Mentors – “You can’t control the wind but you can learn to adjust your sails.” – Jimmy Dean

    “It always seems impossible till it’s done.” – Nelson Mandela

    “Knowledge speaks but wisdom listens” – Jimi Hendrix

    “I am thankful to those who said No. Because of them, I did it myself.”

    – Albert Einstein

    “Experience is not what happens to you, but what you do with what happens to you.” – Aldous Huxley

    “It is never too late to be who you might have been” – George Eliot

    ‘Wisdom is the journey no one can take for us” – Marcel Proust

    #Haiku: Noble Heart

    Sit

    In peace;

    Regroup;

    Regift

    The rubble of your life

    Belongs to All.