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  • The Pinch of Death – a mystery by Alysse Aallyn

    Chapter 7. Heirs Apparent

    Jacquetta drove her aging Datsun past the Cleese house at a quarter to two, and kept driving. There were no other Datsuns on this street of Mercedes, Audis and BMW’s. She drove back and forth for a few minutes before she nerved herself to park. A short walk in the lightly misting rain would refresh her, it would do her good.

    The nuns had been charming when they heard “a friend” had died. “Take as much time as you need,” said Sister Agatha, she who was in charge of “Formation” – a word frequently altered by Honey into “Deformation” or “Reformation.” Jacquetta’s mother, who had never believed in this monastery business: “Don’t you have to be a virgin?” was considerably harder to quiet.


    “She was obviously just a crazy old lady,” she told her daughter crisply, “They’ll set that will aside. Don’t waste your time.”


    But Jacquetta’s mother had not been in charge of Jacquetta’s “formation” since Jacquetta was twelve years old. Jacquetta did what she wanted to now, and her mother would just have to lump it.

    The door to the modernist castle was opened by a girl who could have been Jacquetta’s double. Long dark hair, fresh skin, no makeup, standing about five seven in her stocking feet. But when she smiled, revealing the bad teeth of an impoverished childhood the illusion vanished.


    “Welcome,” said the girl. “I’m Rose-Alice, the au pair. The rest of them are in the library.”

    The library was a room at the back of the house with more glass than books. A gas fire played merrily. The wealthy – whom Jacquetta considered were always late on principle, had been punctual on this occasion. Probably even early. A out-of-place balding man with unflatteringly long wispy hair that caressed his collar hurried forward. Jacquetta wondered about his crumpled 70’s corduroy suit.


    “Miss Strike? I’m Attorney Dettler. We’ve saved you a seat here. Now we can begin.”A maid handed her a glass of sherry which was gratefully accepted. The seat was a modest straight chair at the back, Jacquetta was pleased to see. So, probably not the entire estate. She sat, dropped her bag to the floor and scanned the other guests.

    George Cleese she recognized immediately from his campaign ads. Honey called him “a greasy politician” but he looked better in this soft light than in the harsh glare of a TV studio. Almost human, one would say. Something about his sad face and the proud features of the woman beside him told Jacquetta whose house this really was.

    She was good looking in a shellacked sort of way, the kind of person you’d be afraid to touch for fear of messing her effect. She had a puff of silver-gilt hair, very red lips, a lot of heavy gold jewelry and wore a mohair sweater and pink ski pants that showed off her large bosom and narrow hips. She returned Jacquetta’s look with no friendliness whatever.

    “How do you do,” whispered the man seated to her left, “I’m Ivor Powell, and this is my associate Blade Bogwell.”


    Jacquetta was first distracted by the impossibly handsome and blond “associate”. Was anybody actually born with the name “Blade?”. Ivor had the slicked back hair and heavy glasses of a nascent T.S. Eliot. He was who, exactly?

    Jacquetta summoned up as best she could the obit she had read but it was mum on Blades and Ivors. Hopeless to attempt to tell these players without a program. She shuffled her sherry glass into her left hand so she could shake the hand he offered her.

    “Jacquetta Strike,” she told him.


    “I know,” he underlined, “The mysterious new heir. Did you hear they think it was suicide?”


    “Suicide!” Jacquetta said so loudly eyes turned to stare. She flushed deeply. “I heard heart attack.”


    “Wasn’t,” said Ivor. “They opened her up.”


    “Well, suicide is out of the question,” hissed Jacquetta. She was amazed by her own certainty. She’d just met the woman! Was she flattering herself that Beatrix would never have missed that lunch? But thinking back on that decided face, those self-satisfied gestures – suicide? Never!

    Ivor was probably one of the grand nephews and he had a brother…wasn’t that right? Chester. Could only be that fellow over there with the obvious toupee. He winked at Jacquetta as if her blush was for him alone. Fancied himself a lady-killer!


    “My aunt made a will every other day,” hissed Ivor. “It was a hobby of hers, like mah-jongg.”“All right,” said Dettler, seating himself in the center of the group, “Let’s get down to business.” As he unsnapped his attaché case the others leaned forwards, like cats watching an opening can of tuna.

  • The Pinch of Death: a mystery by Alysse Aallyn

    Chapter 6: A Legacy

    Jacquetta was summoned from the shower by a phone call.


    “May I speak to Miss Strike please?” inquired a formal voice, so she replied with equal formality, “This is she”, in spite of her total nudity and the soap in her eyes.


    “Miss Strike, this is Neil Dettler of Dawson & Dettler the Glasstown attorneys. I have the honor of being executor of the late Miss Beatrix Rainbeaux’s will. I may say that it mentions you. Could you possibly attend a reading of the will at the home of Mrs. George Cleese, 27 Dane Forge, in that town at two pm?”


    “I am? Are you sure?” Jacquetta asked stupidly. Should she mention she’d met the departed less than twenty-four hours ago?


    “Certainly I’m sure,” said the lawyer, sounding nettled. “I don’t read things that aren’t there.”


    Oooooh! This meant whatever she’d written he hadn’t known about in advance, making the whole thing a lot more likely. How Honey would adore this! Jacquetta could hardly wait to tell her.


    “Just let me make a note of it,” she said, water dripping over the calendar. “Do you mean today?” Wasn’t that unseemly haste? “Yes, I’ll be there.”


    “Then I’ll expect you,” said the lawyer, ringing off.


    Jacquetta dried herself thoughtfully. Did the old lady leave her the price of a lunch, or the entire estate? Jacquetta suspected it was probably something pertaining to their discussion. Had she feared her approaching death? The person she’d described to Jacquetta on the train would hardly scruple to remove an adversary!

    She fired up the blow drier and met her own eyes in the mirror, saying goodbye to her long hair, as she always did these days. She had had it since childhood. Well, childhood was long gone. She cast an unwilling glance toward the phone. Her first call shouldn’t be to Honey at The Royal Mess but to the convent.


    How difficult it was to lead an honest, much less honorable life! Knowing a funeral was a perfect reason to delay entry for a few days, she had no intention of telling the nuns that she’d only just met the decedent. She might try to con herself that it simply complicated things, but she knew that wasn’t the real reason.

    The real reason was, she obviously wasn’t as finished with this worldly life as she’d led them to believe. Really, it was getting to the point where she’d have to start taking notes for her next confession. The list was growing and growing.

    What an impostor she was! All the better to sniff out another impostor. How clever the late Miss Rainbeaux had been!

  • The Pinch of Death – a mystery by Alysse Aallyn

    Chapter 5. A Death

    Jacquetta woke with a hangover. Oh well, she thought, it’s probably for the last time. Wine in the convent sometimes –maybe twice a year – but champagne definitely not.


    Honey, who routinely drank as though she had a wooden leg, put her head around the door. She had not only drunk Jacquetta under the table but she had touched up her hair – newly blonded, it puffed out around her carefully made up face like a bridal veil.

    “Here’s coffee,” she offered, “Unless you want more sleep.”

    Jacquetta sat right up. “No, no,” she said. “I need to wake up now if I plan to get to that lunch. Coffee, please.”


    Honey’s other hand held the morning paper and aspirin.


    “What did I ever do to deserve such a fabulous roommate?” Jacquetta wailed.


    “We were made for each other,” said Honey. “I’m not even going to try to replace you, so feel free to leave the convent at any time. You know, if it turns out they’re into secret beatings and mind control.”


    “Flagellation is passé,” said Jacquetta. Mind control however… always popular. Monasteries or magazines, same thing everywhere. “But aren’t you and Barney getting married?”
    Honey shuddered. “He needs to shape up first.”


    Coffee in bed with the morning paper…even with a headache it was worth it. Last time, Jacquetta reminded herself. Breakfast in bed really was the ultimate luxury. She started with the town news, always more compelling than the national. And there it was, GLASSTOWN FOUNDER DEAD AT 87.


    “Cause of death unknown but heart attack suspected. Miss Rainbeaux’s father Martin came to New Jersey in 1907 to found a factory that soon became world famous for stained glass and objets d’art. Windows from the factory are installed as far away as the American Embassy in Rome and the Cathedral of the Precious Blood in Montreal. Museums…blah blah blah.”


    Jacquetta’s eyes bugged but the photograph was quite unmistakable – Miss Rainbeaux taken recently – exactly the woman she had met on the train – and Miss Rainbeaux in youth, dressed for her début. Those eyebrows alone would have scared the men away.


    No lunch for me, she thought. What a coincidence! Sister Agatha would say there’s no such thing as “coincidence” and she found herself inclined to agree. You didn’t tell a total stranger you feared a sociopath and then suddenly wind up dead by happenstance. Jacquetta’s eyes flew past “survived by” and down to the announcement of “visitation” which she recognized as another word for “wake.” She produced a pair of nail scissors and cut out the article with care. It looked like the good sisters would just have to wait for their latest postulant. Jacquetta had something important to do first.

  • The Pinch of Death: a mystery by Alysse Aallyn

    Chapter 4: Honey

    Climbing the apartment house stairs Jacquetta felt a surge of pleasure when she saw light under the door. Her roommate was home! She unlocked the door shouting, “It’s me,” in case Honey’s boyfriend Barney was staying over. But Honey was alone. She appeared in the doorway with a fizzy glass of champagne.

    “Congratulations! How was the party?”
    Honey was a slight thin-faced girl with a fine, flower-like expression that could easily seem pinched or pulled by worry or a lack of sleep. Tonight, however, she was beaming.

    “It fizzled. I had one drink and left.” Jacquetta happily accepted the champagne.

    “Nelson?” Honey asked sympathetically.
    “He acted like it was a funeral and I had better things to do.”

    Their last fight would always ring in Jacquetta’s ears as Nelson yelled how superior she would soon feel as she looked down on his spiritual squalor from her ivory tower. “He’s the married one, so why does he try to make me feel guilty?”

    Honey poured herself a glass of bubbly and settled down comfortably on her favorite sofa. “These guys think they own us, that’s what,” she opined. “And when they find out they don’t it’s a rude awakening.”

    Jacquetta tossed her coat over the wing chair, dropped purse and keys on the floor and sat down with a sigh.

    “Speaking of which, I thought you were going out with Barney.”

    “He was in a mood! Told me my roots were showing so I said I guess I needed alone time! You haven’t eaten, then?”

    “Not so much as a peanut.”
    “We could heat your mother’s quiche.”
    “Or eat it cold,” Jacquetta agreed, suddenly hungry. They decamped to the kitchen where Honey, who would make some lucky man an excellent wife, briskly threw a salad together.

    It was a lovely apartment. Honey loved furniture and was constantly working double shifts at The Royal Mess to afford some escritoire or tallboy. Jacquetta, by contrast, had few possessions.

    “I met the most interesting old lady on the train,” offered Jacquetta. Beatrix Rainbeaux of the glassworks family. She had an off-hour ticket so I paid the difference to keep her from murdering the conductor, and we fell into conversation.”

    “That’s disgusting!” swore Honey, tossing salad energetically. “She could buy and sell you. Her family owns that whole town!”

    “She invited me to lunch tomorrow to consult me about evil,” Jacquetta returned, “so it was a worthwhile investment. Paid off a lot faster than most investments do.”

    “Maybe she’ll remember you in her will,” said Honey. ”You know, like Howard Hughes, dressing like a bum and cadging rides from strangers.”

    “Howard Hughes died intestate.” Jacquetta corrected. “That will was a forgery.”

    “Just goes to prove what I always say; rich people are crazy. What kind of evil is she interested in?”

    They sat at the table and attacked their meals. Jacquetta considered. It was funny how “unforgettable things” were so easy to forget! What had Beatrix said exactly?

    “She met a sociopath she’s afraid of,” she said finally. “I think that’s what she said. And she wanted my advice.”

    “Sister Jacquetta, the expert!” teased Honey. “Too bad those silly Catholics say you can’t be a woman priest so you can forgive her all her sins!”

  • The Pinch of Death: a mystery by Alysse Aallyn

    Chapter 3: An Appointment

    The old lady’s jaws worked restlessly. “I need to consult you about this matter we mentioned. I am in possession of some knowledge-“

    “I’m hardly an expert,” Jacquetta interposed hastily.

    “I consulted a worldly expert,” snapped the old lady. “He made it clear to me that I need someone else.”

    She then amazed Jacquetta by pulling from her bag an ancient leather book labeled “1910.” Did she know what year it was?

    “Depends where you are,” quibbled Jacquetta. The day she was supposed to enter the monastery! But lunch was only lunch. She was curious. It could work.

    “Glasstown,” said the old lady. “Named after the family’s factory. We wanted to call it Iridium, but town fathers are so pedestrian.”

    “You’re a…Rainbeaux?” It was a famous family – the most famous family in the area. “Your stained glass is so beautiful.”

    “Alas, the factory is defunct. Once upon a time artists were content to toil anonymously for the glory of the work, now it’s all about pensions, breaks, insurance and overtime. We were forced to close.”

    “I’m Jacquetta Strike,” said Jacquetta. “My church – St. Barnabas – has some of your windows. They are truly glorious.”

    “Tomorrow’s Friday. Will that suit?”

    “St. Barnabas!” The old woman seemed thunderstruck. “How very curious. I was there…only recently.”

    Certainly that church was an out of the way church for a Glasstown resident but Jacquetta did not inquire further. She reached out a hand and the old woman enveloped it in a pair of claws knotty with tarnished rings.

    “I’m Beatrix Rainbeaux,” the old lady introduced herself. “My house is in the middle of town, across from the police station. Enormous glass rainbow over the door – you can’t miss it. Shall we say noon sharp? I cannot bear unpunctuality.”


    This was simply irresistible. The sisters did not really expect her until Vespers. They had been so understanding about every difficulty.


    “I’m looking forward to it,” said Jacquetta.

  • The Pinch of Death: a mystery by Alysse Aallyn

    Chapter 2. Fate
               
                    “Evil up close?” Here was an unforeseen conversation while the other passengers chattered around them and dusk gave way to night. “What did it look like?”
     
                    The old woman pursed her long flat lips and moved them nervously back and forth like a cow chewing cud. “Exactly like a human being. As beautiful as an angel…”
     
                    Jacquetta felt a panicky, almost prissy qualm. “There can’t be such a thing as absolute evil,” she insisted. “A soul can always be saved.”
     
                    “Oh, there’s no soul involved,” insisted the woman. “It’s a husk. I’m telling you, I saw.”
                    She fumbled in her bag. “I really must pay you back,” she insisted.
     
                    Jacquetta held up a hand. “Oh, you’ve paid me back,” she said, “with your story.  Money means nothing to me now.”
     
                    The old lady gaped at the raw boned young woman before her, she of the sweeping brunette hair, deep-socketed eyes and medieval nose finished off at the end with three sharp chisel cuts.  “Are you…going to DIE?” she gasped.
     
                    “Well, we’re all going to die,” laughed Jacquetta.  Actually I’m entering a monastery.”
     
                    The poor old woman’s jaw almost disappeared into her purse.  Jacquetta took pity on her. “I’m going to become a nun,” she said. “It’s a contemplative order, and you’ve given me something to contemplate.”
     
                    “I didn’t know that sort of thing still went on,” said the old lady. “You don’t look like the kind of wishy washy creature that life would appeal to.  What are you going to do all day…pray?”
     
                    “I hope,” said Jacquetta. “Prayer and study. They can reject me, after all.”
     
                    “I smell an unhappy love affair,” said the old lady, “and you’re probably a lot more romantic than you look. So you’re going to become a bride of Jesus? Trust me, it isn’t worth it.  No man is worth giving up the world.”
     
                    Why did I bring this up? Jacquetta wailed inwardly. “Nice old lady” was turning mean and showing an uncomfortable clairvoyance. “I’ve been working the last eight years on a magazine,” she jested, trying to change the subject. “All my wishes came true. I was promoted from secretary to researcher and then to writer. I was feted and adored, offered travel and given more and more work. Interesting work. Believe me, I could use a little peace and quiet.”
     
                    She didn’t say, I prayed for my boss to notice me and he did. Oh, he did…
     
                    “Last year I was sick to death of everything. I went on retreat at a monastery and it was a revelation.  The nuns were so happy! Like you, I hadn’t pictured that. They were preoccupied with something I couldn’t see. They looked past me, as if I were a shadow. It quite literally seemed a heaven on earth.”
     
                    “I must say it’s a relief to have a discussion with someone who believes in evil!” snapped the old lady. “I’m tired of being told I’m a leftover has been. Brought up Catholic, were you?”
     
                    “I was. Didn’t go to parochial schools though and I wasn’t as religious as my mother. She always seemed –” “superstitious as a pygmy,” Jacquetta had been going to say.  Some very, very primitive tribe.  “But when I began to read…”
     
                    “Ah,” said the old lady, “The Age of Reason.  Glad to see someone making use of it instead of consigning the world’s greatest thinkers to the dustbin. So you’re something of an expert on evil.”
     
                    Actually, this diagnosis felt horrible.  Terminal.  She wanted to argue with it and couldn’t. Typically, she tried to joke. “Well, if you’ve lived in the advertising world for any period of time –“
     
                    “I might be ready for the monastery myself!” the old lady nodded. “This meeting has been providential. As for me, I believe in Fate.  Comes to the same thing in the end, doesn’t it? I wish you’d give me some advice.”
     
                    This was more to be expected, and Jacquetta felt herself relax a bit.  This was the same thing that happened to seminarians and medical students.  Advice.  The moment they saw you as a specialist, everyone wanted a free diagnosis.
     
                    “Certainly,” she returned, thinking, I love discussing anyone other than me.
                   
                    The old lady glanced around her as if the demon she feared had the cloak of invisibility.

                    “Not here.  Would you do me the honor of lunching with me tomorrow?”

  • The Pinch of Death: a mystery by Alysse Aallyn

    Chapter 1: A question of evil

    On a winter day in 1980, two women who had just met found themselves discussing evil in a train compartment. It had been Jacquetta Strike’s last day at work, and she’d had little to do other than anticipate a cavalcade of “last things”; such as of looking out of a grubby train window and watching the glittering

    lights of New York give way to the somber darkness of New Jersey. But her contemplation was shattered by the noise of an old woman having an altercation with the conductor.

    “Three more dollars! Why, that’s robbery! My ticket says Princeton Junction right on it! It was perfectly good when I came in this morning, and it’s a round trip ticket. I insist on talking to your superior.”

    She was a very short old woman with features too big for her face: eyebrows wrestled like caterpillars at the bridge of her nose and her big coarse ears looked as if they could do with a more thorough washing. She carried a black velvet carpet bag with tarnished silver handles and her sealskin coat had probably been all the rage in the last century, but her rubber tipped cane was pathetically utilitarian.


    “This here is an off-hour ticket,” explained the tired conductor, “And you’re riding a rush hour train. See all those people standing? Well, they’ve got better tickets than yours. You needed to wait for the six-thirty.”


    “I’ll pay the three dollars,” said Jacquetta, forking it over. Anything for a little peace and quiet to assess the massive change that had just taken place in her life. After all, what was money? The least important thing in the universe. But the old lady turned to Jacquetta with an expression of outrage.


    “I can’t allow that! This carriage is as crowded as a cattle car! They should charge less, not more!”
    With unseemly haste, the conductor punched a new ticket, eager to be gone.

    “It’s the law of supply and demand,” explained Jacquetta. “Everyone wants eggs; eggs are ten dollars. No one wants eggs then they’re giving them away.”


    “It’s foolishness,” said the old lady. “And that man was very rude.”


    “He was only doing his job.”


    The old lady snorted. “That’s a modern excuse for irresponsibility! In my day people were proud of their work, worked long hours with no overtime just to get things right. Nobody cares any more in this terrible world.”


    Jacquetta was surprised to see a look of real pain distort the aging face.


    “People used to leave their houses unlocked and women could stroll the streets unmolested. People are eviller, that’s all. Everyone’s out for what they can get.”


    Jacquetta couldn’t let this one past. “I think there was plenty of awfulness and we just didn’t know about it,” she offered mildly. “The media simply provides a mirror and we’re frightened by what we see.” Our own face, she thought. That’s what scares us.

    “Blame and excuses,” disputed the old lady, “The problem is evil. People born without a conscience don’t care what they do.”


    “Sociopaths,” said Jacquetta. “I think that’s the clinical term.” Giles de Retz? Vlad the Impaler? Was sociopathy such a modern invention?


    “And then some people choose evil,” the old lady insisted, “So they can get what they want. Appetite! You can ride the devil, but you can’t get off.”


    “We all have dangerous potential,” agreed Jacquetta. Who would have thought she’d be having a conversation like this on her last day!


    “I’m not talking about potential,” said the old lady, “I’m talking about people who’ve murdered! Soulless killers. They’d squash a human being the way you or I would swat a fly.”


    “Someone you know?” queried Jacquetta. This seemed more personal than a news story.
    The woman’s face buckled like old leather. She nodded. “I’ve looked evil in the face,” she whispered. “I was terrified.”

  • Testimony: a poem by Alysse Aallyn

    TESTIMONY

    In 1979 I borrowed a dime
    And stepped out in my party-dress
    To make a call.
    I’d need a cell phone now.
    A careless man said,
    “Find your own way home.”

    St Theresa cut in on our line –
    A sixteenth century nun pierced by light
    Reminded me while kneeling there
    To cut my anger with the sword of bliss
    And revel in the sacred music
    Anchor-less.

    I still seek among the faces
    Grief unstrung, listen to their emptiness
    Of joy undone
    Amidst the rage, the blindness and the fear;
    Recognize magnificence
    She told me would be there.

  • The Controversy: a poem by Alysse Aallyn

    The Controversy

    In the bar we argue
    You drink gin and I drink bourbon
    You admit there’s something out there but
    God and Christ have been discredited
    You prefer the snake-faced aliens.

    Can pedagogues discredit learning
    I demand -Do rapists disgrace sex?
    Outside the blank-faced soldiers
    Breathing on the glass of history
    Await their time.

    They are glad to lend their bones
    As lumber. They’re afraid to live.
    Rebel children seize the city
    Experimenting on the damned.
    We’re trapped inside the hourglass

    Moving not in circles but in spirals –
    Moving somewhere.
    You order a stronger round
    I look inside my wallet
    To see what’s left.

  • Constellations: Berenice’s Hair – a poem by Alysse Aallyn

    Constellations: Berenice’s Hair

    Meteoric dust drips ash
    Into my upturned mouth;
    I taste stars;
    What manner of being are you?
    I only know you’re something
    That I need. Your

    Mirrored endlessness partakes of
    Nothing human, yet suggests
    Completion. Your shadow arches
    Over everything, a lover who
    Won’t give satisfaction. I’ll take
    The expert titillation

    Of your neglect.
    Hunger burns so purely in
    This atmosphere. Without you
    I might be myself; with you
    I am nothing. But
    Deflation is a lover’s privilege.