at the Football Field– Victor’s Rap. (Prom music playing while Oscar and Darla, under confetti-filled pink light and dressed in prom finery, sway close together gazing into each other’s eyes. Victor appears at the top of graffiti-covered scoreboard, rhythmically pounding his chest & rapping to the music)
Victor Life is HARSH Life is CRUEL Look for justice and You’re a FOOL Man’s got BLOOD Man’s got SWEAT Without stone courage Ain’t nothing to GET Gotta have WILES Gotta be CLEVER Gotta think faster Gotta plan BETTER Keep yo PITY Freeze yo TEARS Kids comin’ up today Deserve yo JEERS. They ain’t SMART They got NOTHIN’ Tryin’ to take you They’ll try ANYTHING Winners don’t SLEEP Losers don’t EAT The king can’t trust The hos at his FEET Can’t trust his MEN Can’t trust his “FRIENDS” King’s got steel Instead of “AMENS” King’s got GUNS King’s got PILLS Only the King KNOWS WHAT THE GAME IS We’re the knowers We’re the deciders Who’s the RIDER and Who the RIDE IS: Last minute trap Last minute DEAD ‘Cause the King’s got eyes In the back of his HEAD. “Pleasure doing business” Says the little lamb Just before King Hits the Grand slam: Boom! They drop DOWN Boom! They go FALL Never knowed nothing Hit them at all.
(Lights out on Victor, satisfied, arms crossed.)
Scene 3: (Darla & Oscar, on the Football Field in their prom clothes, dance alone in a spotlight; eyes only on each other. The couple spins, dips, his hands all over her)
Oscar Oooooo… That was some pic Some beauty You made just for me.
Darla Only for you. I never shaved before ‘cause I never wanted to – Much less take nudies. But for you I’m your Anything.
Oscar Anything?
Darla Anything.
(He holds her closer)
Oscar You’re only for me, darlin’ I’m only for you.
(Long lingering kiss)
You’re so hot. Why you so hot? Are you hot for me?
Darla I never knew What “hot” was Till I saw you And then I Burned. O, Baby how I burned!
(She writhes in his arms)
I wanted all of you! I’m so hot right now!
Oscar I did that?
Darla You did that.
Oscar Well now we’re alone.
Darla Finally! I never thought We’d get out of there.
Oscar Just you. Just me.
Darla Nothing we can’t do!
Oscar Nothing we can’t take!
Darla Nobody else around.
Oscar Nothing we can’t have! Just me. Just You. And what I want To do to you.
Darla Teach me. Take me. School me. Break me. I want you to be my Everything.
Oscar You know what that means. Once a man starts – You know he can’t stop.
Darla I don’t want you to stop.
(In the faint light, Victor appears at the bottom of the score sign, arms crossed, watching. Darla pulls away and begins a slow strip tease, Victor clicking photos on his phone)
Darla I want to be naked Naked for you.
Oscar Holy Mother you Are so beautiful!
(Oscar struggles with his clothes, they fall down wrestling together – clothes off. Lights fade.)
Darla’s bedroom. (Darla sprawled on canopy bed. Enter Emily carrying a big bowl of popcorn – both girls wear pajamas)
Darla Oh, Emily, I’m in love!
(rolls from side to side)
Why didn’t you tell me What passion is like? You’ve been holding Out on me!
Emily Cool your tits, Angel. You tell ME What IS love like? I’ve never felt it.
Darla
(sits up abruptly)
Oh, stop it! What you been Doing with Victor Ever since grade school!
Emily Can’t seem to escape him.
Darla Oh Emily Don’t be such a stone face. Did you fight with Victor? You know I’m ALWAYS on your side. Relationships take work.
Emily That’s what they say. I just realized Victor and I Have nothing in common.
Darla If you’re wanting out Just tell him to go. I did it with Rocky. It Wasn’t so hard. He made boo-hoo faces And then it was over.
Emily
(Sad laugh)
It’s too late now. There’s no point. You know Victor – he’d make My life hell. Besides – Auditioning new guys Turns girls into sluts. It ain’t worth it. I’ll wait Till college to make a fresh start.
Darla So tell me, Emily ‘Cause I’m growing up and I need to know – Did you do it? Do “The nasty?”
Emily Not TECHNICALLY Telling the truth “Plausible deniability”.
When my Gran asks – And she asks all the time – I want to deny it.
Darla That’s too bad. I’m not judging. Believe me. It just sounds Kinda sad. Maybe Victor’s NOT Right for you. I always thought I’d wait till marriage. But lately I BEEN FEELING it… Feeling that Tingle.
(she shivers all over)
Emily Which tingle is that?
Darla
(Touches her thighs)
THIS tingle. Like I want to get WITH him And let him release me. I got fire building up inside – I’m so sick of virginity It’s really exhausting. I just long to be HELD – You know – penetrated – INFUSED.
Emily Wow, girl! You feel that for Oscar?
Darla
(Falls back dreamily)
I want to give myself TOTALLY. Let him Strip me stark naked and do Whatever he wants.
Emily Whoa girl! Believe me There’s only one thing they want. And you could be sorry. Forever after.
Darla Oh, who cares? Gotta woman up At some point. I’m facing Maturity. Sick Of seeing a world through Saran-Wrap and Being called “Ice Rink”. You KNOW that’s what they call me – Don’t you deny it I’m starting to get Freezer burn!
(They both laugh)
Emily But girl, it’s so random! Why now? And why him?
Darla It’s not random AT ALL! Have you seen Oscar? He’s so DREAMY You can tell right away he’s different He’s so handsome and big!
Emily That’s not new.
Darla He’s so sweet –
Emily So is Clint. So is Cody.
Darla But they don’t like real girls. They want “avatars”. Or each other. Or whatever.
Emily Rocky adored you.
Darla Rocky’s a faker. Rocky’s a fake MAN. They’re all little boys.
Emily I think I know what you mean Darla – and Victor – he’s The worst of the lot.
Darla I’ll help you get away Anytime you want.
Emily He’s a cheater.
Darla I think he likes bragging. Heard him talk about Brandy! He’s SO Disrespectful.
Emily But Brandy’s a slut. You gotta admit.
Darla
(Fingering her cross)
She’s a real human person.
(Moonily)
Oscar’s so sympathetic Oscar CRIES easily! His tears are for real. He’s not ashamed To weep right in front of me. Those others are posers.
Emily I know THAT’s true. We’re all Trying for something we’re not.
Darla You’re too hard on yourself, Emily, you think too much And that’s the truth.
Emily High school is hell.
Darla But maybe it can be different! I mean, if people are Respectful. Oscar’s a MAN Who honors his women He puts them on Pedestals!
Emily So why did he cry?
Darla When I took his ring. If you could have been there! He has such soft eyes, but He’s so manly, and he’s So talented! Did you see His football workout? Gorgeous Deep chest, long thighs With dimples, and He treats me so well!
(She whispers)
He calls me his Queen!
Emily
(laughing)
Girl, you’ve got it bad.
Darla But Oscar is special! Oh, Emily, admit! He went down on ONE KNEE To ask me to prom! What guy here would do that?
Emily You’re right. They’re all Cunts.
Darla But aren’t cunts all female?
Emily Cunts are anyone two-faced Vicious and scheming.
Darla But WE’RE not like that.
Emily Some girls are and You know it Shamers and Haters. Plotters and Backstabbers. Jealous and Mean.
Darla You shouldn’t say that. I want Oscar To love my poor cunt That’s never been loved Not once in its life.
Emily OmiGOD Darla You’re courting disaster! Who’d think those words Would come out of the mouth Of Darla the prude!
Darla
(laughing)
I know, right? My Dad would DIE!
Emily EVERYONE would die!
Darla I would get a labia ring If Oscar wanted me to.
Emily Darla! You’re CRAZY!
Darla Of course I’m crazy! Oh Emily, you know What I’m feeling Love is magic, Love is Powerful, Love Dignifies everything. To tell you the truth I don’t think my poor Dad Ever had it – Most Grownups don’t and that’s why Old folks conspire For us to be lonely And empty and withered And just be Like them.
Emily You could be right there.
Darla Well, Oscar’s no cunt and He’s not a prick either: He’d Love me so gentle I’d never be scared. He kisses so tender… Says we’re “touring heaven”.
Emily Oh wow. Now I’m jealous.
Darla Every girl deserves this! We DESERVE to be courted. Get our flowers, our Moonlight, Chocolate kisses, Body healing.
Emily Victor would say it’s “Low-T”.
Darla You’ve got to Get rid of that guy! That guy’s a menace! His mind poisons everything And the other guys follow Then WE’RE the ones begging.
Emily Darla! YOU’VE Never had to beg.
Darla And I’ve been alone Taking my gay cousin to dances Year after year Fighting off Cody Then fighting off Rocky. I’ve never wanted to “Play the game” – That’s why we’re friends ‘cause You don’t either. The boys want us to – What’d you call it? They want us to “Audition” and you –
Emily Prefer the hell that I know. I see what you mean. Sure hope College is different.
Darla Don’t we deserve Real love? Doesn’t Brandy?
Emily Hey girl you’re converting Me. Maybe we’ve been unlucky In this depraved gene pool. Maybe someplace Nerds blossom – Want girls instead of video – And the guys you can talk to Become the guys you can cuddle.
Darla I’ll drink to that! Wine cooler? I’ve got peach and I’ve Got pineapple.
(loudly opens a pair of cans – they toast. Darla says dreamily)
I don’t need college I’ll go where Oscar goes. If he asks me to marry him I would say yes.
(Emily sits on the bed stuffing popcorn like she’s at the movies)
Emily You are TOO MUCH, Darla! You go girl! But I gotta say I hope We all sober up someday.
Darla I guess I’m just high. I’m high on LO-OOVE.
Emily You are hormonal is what. But I kind of like it Crazy. I mean what kind of world Would we have if girls could make choices And guys weren’t Trying to trick us? It’d be PARADISE.
Darla Now you see what I mean! Some guys are so rare When you know You just KNOW! Emily, Tell me the truth. Do you think I’m beautiful?
Emily EVERYONE thinks you’re beautiful You should KNOW That by now. If you have no confidence There’s no hope for the rest of us That’s for sure.
Darla It’s what Oscar thinks That worries me. Seen pix of his family?
(Emily shakes her head)
Six sisters – gorgeous and dark Multiply curvy with Hair to their waists. They’re ALL way – way – WAY Prettier than me.
Emily Darla – Blond girls are PRIZED. You’re a “white tiger” Something Oscar hasn’t seen. Nobody wants the familiar.
Darla Here’s what I’m thinking: Don’t girls share their bodies With the man that they love? Don’t all guys want Nudies? That’s what I’m wondering.
(Gestures down at her body)
Do you think THIS Could be beautiful?
Emily Every part of YOU Is beautiful!
Darla You think? I’m so shy! Maybe he’d Get all turned off? Would he snigger?
Emily That’s impossible. Who could snigger at ANYONE As lovely as you? I hope Oscar is really different.
Darla I know that he is. I don’t want to scare him but I want him to know how I feel.
Emily Oscar’s your paradise. Mine is a college Where men look at nudes Without sniggering.
Darla Oscar IS my paradise. I don’t care about any man but him. If he wanted to show my Nudie I’d let him.
Emily Men are such scorekeepers They score us and grade us – Maybe your Beauty will silence them.
Darla I imagine Oscar and me For our first “forever” Undressing together Like Adam and Eve.
Emily I hate to break it but There’s no motel Moonlight; There’s only fluorescence Like the meat rack at Safeway. That’s Cruelest on blondes. Were you thinking Backseats or Dunes at the beach?
Darla
(Jumps up pacing)
That is NOT what I Picture: I see us Like children: Tangled in clover Asleep in the sun.
Emily Maybe it’s too late For all of us. Boys love porn more than Beer, and now They’re all addicted.
Darla Not Oscar! Porn’s against his religion! Oscar’s religious!
Emily I know they SAY that but Is it true? Maybe They can’t help it: That stuff’s in the air Their fathers and brothers Are watching it too Summer camp, Boy scouts: Their world’s a pornado.
Darla
(Worried)
So what’s he expect? Now You’ve got me all scared. How can I be sexy Without being a porn star?
Emily We need pix! We need Glamor. We need Flattering lighting. Believe me I’ve been there I’ve got pix of my own.
Darla No, really?
(Emily offers her phone)
Wow! Who’d know That was you You’re like some sort Of goddess!
Emily They’ve GOT to stay secret; this is Not a good look for College admissions.
Darla
(Looking down her pajama bottoms)
I need some self-tanner! I look like Perdue chicken; my Poor scrawny pussy Has never seen daylight. How could I think Oscar would want this?
Emily You just need landscaping Sister, all of us do I swear it’s no biggie.
Darla I’m gonna get zits!
Emily Not if I moisturize. I’ll use a fresh razor; trust A sensitive blade; Wielded by Someone who loves you.
Darla Emily – you’re so poetic! You really would do that?
Emily Moisturize first and Moisturize after. That’s my guarantee.
Darla I’ll be dripping down there!
Emily You’re ALREADY Dripping and That’s the point!
(They both laugh)
Darla
(Grabs Emily’s drink and throws herself backwards on the bed)
No more booze for you! I need a steady hand All the help I can get – We can’t expect poor Oscar To see through a jungle!
Emily Lucky I’m sleeping over! I brought my whole kit.
(produces cosmetics case)
Strip off those undies. Let’s get this Party started.
Darla God – it’s so Embarrassing!
Emily Less embarrassing than The salon with a stranger – I’ve been there, too. You spend cash money To get treated like shit! They give you diseases Like some Chinese fungus You NEVER get rid of Then say it’s your fault.
Darla
(Slipping out of her pajama bottoms – Emily blocks our view)
Is this going to hurt?
Emily Not as much as tattoos And you’ve got one of those.
Darla I’m getting another – “I Love Oscar” in Spanish.
Emily
(Noise of whipped scream dispenser)
You better careful ‘Cause foreigners lie – Just to make us look stupid. Brandy asked for “Prosperity” And it really says “Whore”. Don’t move. I’ll leave a nice Landing strip.
Darla
(sighs ecstatically)
For Oscar to touchdown!
(She lies back – submitting)
Wish I’d studied Spanish Instead of stupid old French.
Emily We all should speak Mandarin According to my Gran.
Darla I’ll let Oscar choose My tattoo – He’ll know what to say.
Emily Men really like that.
Darla Here’s hoping. Ooooo – it tickles!
Emily You don’t have so much So this part is easy.
Darla
(Giggles)
Feels weird knowing You’re the one who’s Touching me there.
Emily Victor says All girls are lesbos.
Darla Victor says? We’ve established that Victor is crazy. Don’t listen to him.
Emily He says that’s why Men dominate; ‘cause We don’t really need them. If we had any choice He thinks we’d get rid of them! I told him who wouldn’t go Lesbo when Men are so awful and Dicks ain’t that pretty.
Darla I bet all of Oscar Is beautiful Strong, dark and –
Emily Handsome – yeah – I heard it the first time. I need some water.
(She empties popcorn in a handy backpack and enters bathroom. We hear running water.)
Darla Bet Oscar won’t manscape.
Emily Well, he should. He’s A bear.
Darla I like him warm and Furry. It makes it So real.
Emily
(Returning)
Smooth and hairless – That’s what Victor is. Spread ‘em Sister.
(Darla shrieks with laughter)
Emily DO NOT MOVE. This is the tough part. Hold your breath. DO NOT LAUGH DO NOT GIGGLE. Think of Oscar Stark naked.
Darla
(sighs rapturously)
I hope he Trades me a selfie!
Emily Men love showing off. Why shouldn’t they? Without repercussions They do what they feel. Almost done – That’s a good girl.
Darla Prom night’s the night. But I’m scared Do you bleed?
Emily Slow down, girl! If you go all the way You need to think Birth control!
Darla Nobody gets pregnant The first time!
(Excitement ripples Darla – Emily inhales a gasp)
Emily That might not be true. Better Check yourself before you Wreck yourself!
Darla I don’t like all this planning! Men think planners are Sluts. Don’t men do the birth control? My Dad’s all “condoms condoms Condoms” like it’s some sort of Prayer. Not to me, naturally But I overhear when He talks to the team.
Emily You could just tell him You don’t want to go All the way the first time! Then enlist Some doctor’s help.
Darla But I want to Belong to him totally! I want him in the pilot seat Making all the decisions.
Emily What if you get knocked up?
Darla That’s God’s to decide.
Emily You could be really sorry Oscar might dump you.
Darla You don’t know Oscar. Family’s everything to him. Sticking together and Blood relations are RELIGION To him. Our baby will Connect usForever and ever! You’ve got to admit – a kid Gets you out of the Cheating and lying game.
Emily Hold still. No more moving. Victor says all men cheat.
Darla He’s insecure. I can’t see Oscar cheating He’s got tattoos Of his mother AND Virgin Mary RIGHT ON HIS CHEST!
Emily Some girls like a challenge And men have no willpower. There you go! All done! Towel yourself off And admire your BALDNESS.
(Hands her a towel and mirror)
Darla Wow, thanks Em Such a friend. It looks much less scary And more like a child. But it feels so strange. Feels so NAKED – Am I beautiful now?
Emily You were beautiful BEFORE And now you are perfect!
Darla Get my phone! Time for Photos! Lay my hand Just like this and You can see Oscar’s ring.
Emily Gotta see face or This shot could be anybody.
(She pulls bed curtain to obscure audience’s vision, unshades lamp for lighting)
Darla Will he like it?
Emily Of course he’ll like it! I just pressed send.
Darla
(snuggling with comforter)
Let me see. Oh, wow! When will he answer? How long must I wait?
Emily Don’t lose any sleep – Tonight’s the team dinner, And they can’t have their phones. It’s all your Dad’s rules.
Darla Can you IMAGINE No phones? What gets into old people? Why are they weird?
Emily Just jealous, I guess. We’re still young and beautiful – they’re So old and hopeless. They wish they were us.
Darla You’re probably right.
(Arms reaching up)
Let’s watch a scary movie.
Emily I’ve got the scariest! Screwfly Solution – parasites From outer space Oozing into everybody.
Darla Oooooooo!
(Emily pulls the curtains and jumps into bed – Darla touches remote -Lights fade blue light shines on their faces as the two cuddle together.)
Victor works Emily, his off-again, on-again girlfriend
(Oscar stalks offstage. Victor minces behind him, Rocky vaults over bleachers)
Rocky You’re off course, Victor! Throwin’ shade on Darla!
Victor Hey, bro we discussed this! You want to fend off intruders Or hug them hello? Martial arts says Use their own weight AGAINST THEM Let them knock THEMSELVES down. Achilles had a heel, my Rocky You should know from school history And Oscar’s heel looks like DARLA!!! So let’s bring him to heel. You gotta use bluster! My gift of gab fathers brainworms No soldier can shake! It’s Strategy, man! “Cringe theory!” Makin’ war with their heads! Cringe theory’s my superpower.
Rocky Not if people get hurt!
Victor Quit your puss-ups, My brutha! And don’t be pathetic. It’s toughen or die In this world, little Rocky Gotta go for the prizes The treasures of paradise Don’t fall in your lap. We gotta fight for them – Smarter and better – sink foes in Stupidity – till their filth Swallows them whole and Leaves the field empty. Empty for US.
Rocky Coach says you’re just Cynical: using your brain To avoid all the Sweat and sore muscles.
Victor And what’s wrong with that? Don’t see them bankers out Laboring Stop being a cunt, Rocky. If I prove what I say, are You with me, or not?
Rocky You can’t prove Darla’s A nympho! I know that much For certain.
Victor Won’t YOU be surprised. Can’t trust ME, trust Your own eyes. I can prove anything On anyone – prove Darla’s a nympho and Oscar’s an idiot.He’ll be publicly scorned and Thrown off the team. Do you dare me?
Rocky I dare you. But Don’t let it sink you.
Victor Nothing sinks me – I’m Unsinkable – The only guy here Who’s in charge of himself. Coach did me a favor Kicking me off the team. Now I see the world Truthfully. Let my game play out.
Rocky I’m more confused By your solutions Than even my problems!
(His phone chimes)
Catch your act later Victor – I’m late For detention.
Victor
(To audience)
All these poor boneheads Still “going to school”. This place is a backwater For ignorant jerkwads.
(plays with his phone)
Victor Well I know one person Still comes when I call.
(Emily appears, highly disgruntled, shaking her phone)
Emily What fresh hell is this? Are you crazy?
Victor
(affectionate and conciliatory)
Great to see you too Baby, give Papa a kiss.
(She pushes him away)
Emily I am NOT getting you Sex pics of Darla!
Victor Level the playing field Sugar, you’ve got to just Face it! Darla Thinking she’s special Is harshing your style. She’s slut-shaming you.
Emily
(Despite her best intentions this is getting to her)
She is NOT. We’re Best friends 4-EVA.
Victor
(Deep significance – flashes his phone)
What would she say If she saw THESE? Think she’d be disgusted? Think she’d talk you down?
Emily Stop it! That’s not fair! I was playing a part!
(tearful)
I was only a kid!
Victor Prudes And their body issues – So…what’s wrong with HER body?
Emily Nothing wrong with Darla’s body! You know she’s just shy.
Victor She’s a prude!
Emily She’s got standards.
Victor Hey, I ain’t asking For porno! Nude ladies be art!
(Considers)
Not that pornos are bad. I mean if Darla wanted – You never know what’s lurking Behind Darla’s green door.
Emily Darla has no Green door!
Victor Just one nudie pic – please? And I’ll destroy all of these.
(She snatches for his phone – he holds it just out of reach)
Emily You already SAID you destroyed them!
Victor But honey – they’re So beautiful! So precious To my heart.
Emily Not that one with The blindfold.
Victor Oh, quit your drama! Be glad they ain’t posted.
Emily You sent them to ME! They’ll be somewhere FOREVER.
Victor Grow up “Miss Emily”. Allow Poor space aliens to Get off on your booty!
Emily I NEVER SAID YES. I was asleep for The first ones!
Victor Didn’t you give me your body? You know you did Sugar. Who “Consent” breaks the mood. I’m “equal opportunity –“ sugah – Don’t I send you dic pics?
Emily It’s not even YOUR dick!
Victor Some of them are!
Emily Face it, Victor. Some girls just don’t Want to be filmed.
Victor Don’t you believe it, sister Every chick’s got a Mayadere hiding in her Someplace. Don’t you owe it to history To immortalize This gorgeousness?
(he plays with her hair)
Emily First time I’ve Heard THAT argument. You said I was so “Inadequate” I ought To get implants.
Victor Only if you Want them. I know you Emily. You’re all About Art. “Cinema verité.”
(air quotes)
Making it real and KEEPING it real.
Emily Can’t believe You were listening.
Victor I’ve heard everything You’ve ever said. You talk in your sleep.
Emily Uh oh. Just giving you More ammo.
Victor Let’s say your Outward persona Don’t recognize your Inner child. But You’re safe with me.
Emily If only.
Victor Don’t act so Unwilling. Isn’t “Cinema verité“ about Tagging the unwary? Just shop your moniker!
Emily Fun as this is to Talk about art I’m not creating sex pics Of Darla for your hounds’ Delectation.
Victor Oh, give the dogs SOMETHING. How about pillow fights? Two Naked girls and a whole World of feathers. Now That’s artistic! Or you play With her boobies – I’m sayin – It could Put you through college.
(Emily facepalms in rage and despair, Victor puts arms around her)
Victor
oh honey, if only you saw How beautiful you are. Lucky me! You will never be as gorgeous as You are right this minute.
(Kissing and nuzzling. Emily starts to give in. He nibbles her ear.)
Victor You know we’ve got To get rid of him.
Emily
(Pulling away)
Who? Oscar?
Victor Yes, Oscar. Everything bad ever Started with Oscar.
Emily Leave Oscar alone! Stop trying To get even. And stop Hanging out with mofos like Rocky! He’s got shit for brains!
Victor Rocky’s good people.
Emily I know Rocky’s behind this He just wants revenge porn Because Darla dumped him.
Victor So what? I got Rocky’s back. Maybe Rocky’s just human.
Emily Listen – My gramma says The best revenge Is getting into the college Of your choice.
Victor
(sighs dramatically)
Sugar, Rocky NEEDS this. And He’s too proud to ask.
Emily But Darla’s my FRIEND!
Victor Why you so protective? Think she’s better than you?
Emily Girls got to stay loyal.
Victor You’ve got HER back but What’s SHE done for you? She’s making you look bad.
Emily You guys so stuck on “status” Passing chicks like Sports cards – you Don’t KNOW from friendship. You Don’t understand.
Victor You’re not fooling me Sugar. Remember I’m your Daddy and You talk in your sleep. I know you better than You know yourself. You’re A secret resenter ‘Cause Darla’s got EVERYTHING while You got a broke-ass kid’s bed In the basement of Your grandparents’ house?
Emily Don’t you go draggin’ my Grandfolks! They’ve been So good to me.
Victor
(Smooth change of tack)
Some friend YOU are Standing by while your bestie While she gets herself inseminated With terrorist anchor babies!
Emily
(Disturbed but trying to stay cool)
Who’s drama now?
Victor Them kind don’t Use rubbers. Trust me, my Poptart ‘cause I know the world. They’re all bareback and Rough riding – that’s what they like. Look at the size of him – poor Darla’s got no chance – He wants something He TAKES it! They think Rape is foreplay.
Emily You’re disgusting!
Victor I’m makin’ it real and Keepin’ it real which you PRETEND that you value. Who tells truth If you don’t get it from me? If Darla got pregnant – you know What she’d do.
Emily
(Sighs)
She’d have that damn baby Darla’s a sticker. DAMN – That girl is old school.
Victor So – now you’ve got the chance to Nip this in the bud! That’s what REAL friends would do. Show her Oscar’s true colors!
Emily
(wavering)
How can nudies fix anything?
Victor ‘Cause Oscar will dump her! And Coach will dump HIM!
Emily You’re not helping your “Nudes are art” theory With this “pics are Hand grenades” plot. Make up your mind!
Victor It’s Oscar’s mind I’m Playing with. That guy’s A caveman! You know How they are. Here’s Your chance to expose him!
Emily You’re talking crazy.
Victor Hey, I’ll contain all the Damage. Where are YOUR Nudie pix? Safe and sound!
(pats his phone)
See? You know you can trust me! You know Daddy’s good for it!
Emily But you’re so Conniving – playing Both sides to middle.
Victor Oh, be a guy’s girl for once Like you. claimed To be when You promised yourself to me. Don’t go all Girlie-girl.
(makes what he thinks is a mincing gesture)
Emily This is the whole problem With high school monogamy! We’re such different people In four short years!
Victor
(Offended)
Well, I ain’t no Ken doll.
Emily And I’m no Barbie!
Victor Truthfully – Ain’t it been wonderful How we stick together? You got all your friends’ envy.
Emily ‘Cause they don’t know the truth. They don’t see my Compromise.
(Victor pours on the sugar)
Victor It’s a cold world out there, baby. A girl needs protection.
Emily
(Exhausted)
Oh leave me alone. I can’t cope. You’re like A bulldozing Bloviator.
(Enter Oscar, big handsome Hispanic guy in football uniform)
Victor
(grabs Oscar’s hand, chest bumps)
Guess the best man won! Congratulations are in order!
Oscar Hey, wow! You’re a big fellow. I mean no disrespect –
(flustered because Victor’s NOT a “big fellow”)
No one likes gettin’ cut. You sure there’s No hard feelings?
Victor Won’t be Hard feelings When you win us State Champion!
Oscar Champions, man!
(They high five)
People here are so nice. My abuela was worried But now I’m In classes, got a Tutor, live in a Nice house with Coach. Even got me a girlfriend.
Victor
(loud phony whistle)
Got a girlfriend ALREADY?
Oscar Coach’s own daughter! He gave us his blessing. She’s wearing my ring.
Victor
(glances at Rocky peering thru bleachers)
Fancy footwork my friend!
Oscar
(faking Victor out, dodging around him)
It’s the speed and the moves That’s what I’m best at.
Victor Darla’s always been Prettiest. But…
(fakes sotto voce)
Word out she’s an Ice Maiden. Them Nymphos got reps.
Oscar I don’t know what you’re saying – She warmed up to me. What’s that name you called her?
Victor Darla? If it’s DARLA we’re talking about –
(trying not to laugh)
Darla needs new blood ‘cause She’s been through the school. Don’t know if I can congratulate You on landing THAT one.
Oscar
(Angry and suspicious)
We’re going to prom!
Victor You don’t need to believe ME, Buddy but Your Darla’s got skidmarks.
(Leans forward)
She needs management, my brutha. No dissing intended but Don’t let her get away Pretending she’s better.
Oscar Darla’s no nympho Darla’s a virgin!
Victor Sure, sure – they’re all “Immaculate” – spring back Like a rubber band The moment you touch her. They say the Virgin Mary had Babies – maybe that cross necklace Really DOES work.
Oscar
(Pulls a knife)
You’re just jealous. You’re all of you liars. I’m not Buying your blasphemous bullcrap. Haters get shaded and Players get played.
(fighting stance)
Victor
(Backing away)
Whoa, boy! Chill OUT! Don’t Kill the messenger! I’m here to HELP you!
Oscar I’m saying what’s true. Not suffering your crap. I can protect myself.
Victor I’m friending you, dude. You’re the new guy in town so They’re setting you up! “Coach’s daughter!” All Part of the strategy to Get you embroiled so you can’t Run away.
Oscar
(Sheathes the knife)
I wasn’t born Yesterday – I see what you’re after. You’re hot and bothered getting Kicked off the team.
Victor Do I look bothered to you? I’m a truth-teller, buddy That’s why I got sidelined They don’t want me to Warn you! I’m wise to their plays and I can’t go along! Bro solidarity – it’s Life blood to me.
(Beats chest)
Bros before hos. Not just in the barrio.
Oscar Call Darla names And you’re going DOWN. No matter what. Darla’s a nice girl.
Victor Who’d ask for belief Without offer of proof?
Oscar What “proof” could you have?
Victor Photography don’t lie. Today’s taste test My brutha.
Oscar Don’t “brutha” me You got nothing. I ain’t listening.
Victor But you’ll look at the evidence?
Oscar If there IS any evidence. I was so stupid! Thought I Left guys like you Behind in the barrio – Now I can see Flea rats are everywhere.
(His phone chimes)
Gotta go, man. Can’t miss my first study hall.
(Oscar stalks offstage. Victor minces behind him, Rocky vaults over bleachers)
Rocky You’re off course, Victor! Throwin’ shade on Darla!
Done and DONER. Can’t be cucked by Community property – Ain’t we ALL hit it – Eiffel Tower, bay bay – that Girl’s been run through. Dickmatized.
Rocky But you said it Yourself – she’s food For the raw dogs – Always pre-lubed.
Victor Better double-bag, Rocky! Double-bag with that one!
(he shakes off imaginary germs)
You can’t MOVE UP to Damaged goods, partner.
Rocky So what can I do?
Victor Stride of pride, Rocky That’s what I’m saying. It’s the stride of pride – Or the walk of shame. Take your choice.
Rocky
(Collapses in pain)
Why girls so DISLOYAL? I want Darla back!
Victor You been burned, friend. You’re not thinking straight. What doesn’t kill you Builds muscle.
Rocky I just don’t get it. Darla’s not thinking! That guy Oscar – he’s Going nowhere! He’s got no homies Hasn’t paid dues: When he wins his last game It’s back to the barrio Maybe DEPORTED She’s choosing A shit life!
Victor Can’t fight jungle genes Rocky: that’s what Girls go swoony for. Getting’ jumped by gorillas – or A posse of cavemen That’s what they want.
(starts hip thrusting – Rocky makes him stop)
Rocky Please. Please. Tell me what to do To take back control? How you keep Emily so chill?
Victor Emily knows the score.
Rocky
(completely beaten)
What’s the score?
Victor I lay down the LAW.
Rocky You lay down the law?
Victor I lay down the RULES.
Rocky You lay down WHAT rules?
Victor Custody of the eyes.
(Points to his eyes)
Takin’ care of business.
(Points to dick)
Should she transgress- Smack of my hand!
(Smacks his hand)
No shame in my game!
Rocky
(Awestruck)
You hit her?
Victor No man! That shit can Get you in trouble! Spanking, dude! Don’t you know Nothing? Chicks relish a paddling Their Daddies trained them.
Rocky Hardcore! If I could man up You think Darla’d Come back?
(Brainstorm)
Or I could go down on her? Wouldn’t she love me?
(Victor cuffs him on the side of the head)
Victor Snap out of it, sap Don’t give her That power – you’re Swelling her head: she’s Full of herself! Don’t be an idiot!
Rocky I know she’d Taste sweet! Sweeter than Strawberries in … Blueberry schnapps.
(Victor cuffs him on both sides of the head)
Victor Sober up, Soy boy! You’re getting’ all pussified Now’s time for STRATEGY, Unrolling our game theory. Who holds the whip hand?
Rocky
(Incredulous, points to himself)
I hold the whip hand?
Victor SHE holds the whip hand Right now, you poor bastard She’ll keep trading “up” Till she meets her match.
Rocky Darla meet her match? How’s THAT gonna happen?
Victor When someone insults her. That’s the only way That girls stay chill When they’re trying to please you.
Rocky
(mystified)
Who insults Darla? They’d have to be CRAZY ‘cause. Darla is PERFECT.
Victor It may be too late for you, My poor savaged brutha. You may be too far gone. Trust Oscar to school her Watch Oscar play caveman. Girls gotta learn sometime – Men demand satisfaction.
Rocky Darla’s thinking Her shit don’t stink!
Victor You’re catching on – I knew there had to be some reason You’re my best friend.
(They lock arms, trade signs, bump fists)
The fine art of Insult – it’s a thing You can learn. Keep her off balance. Make her think She knows nothing. She Checks in with you To see what’s coming next. If YOU’RE never satisfied She’s doubting HERSELF.
(he shrugs)
They learn not to gamble They’re safer at home.
And when they’re at home – They’re not outside Foraging.
Rocky So say I wrote a A mean text – Like, REALLY cold –
Victor
(to the audience)
This guy is desperate!
(He shakes Rocky)
No, no, no! Forget about Darla! Everything bad comes From wanting too much That’s what the prophets say Love them and leave them, There’s your ticket. Eyes on the prize We’re all about Oscar because Oscar’s the problem It’s Oscar we’re shading!
Rocky Oscar?
Victor Yeah, Oscar! Who else we been Dissing? Let HIM Get in trouble, Let HIM do the dirty work!
Rocky But I want her so bad.
Victor Patience, dog. Just pay attention. Remember Romeo/Juliet? Back in ninth grade?
Rocky What’s school got to do with Anything important?
Victor It’s a story’s proving that The more you Separate couples The hotter they get.
Rocky Was THAT what that dumb play Was about? Finally, some truth!
Victor Leave everything To me.
Rocky
(hopeful)
You’ll help me?
Victor
(contemptuous)
Don’t I always help you? What are homies for?
(Rocky throws himself into Victor’s arms)
Rocky You’re such a brother!
Victor It’s time to get even.
Rocky Who with? Coach?
Victor
(shouts)
OSCAR! Look at this poser! He’s all flushed with success! Throwing OUR football and Wearing her panties!
Oscar: immigrant male teen, dark, tall, handsome, recently recruited to this new high school for his athletic gifts, trying to figure out this new world and his place within it
Emily: Victor’s girlfriend, Darla’s best friend
Darla: beautiful, intelligent teen girl, considered highly desirable but she considers herself one of the “good girls”
Rocky: “best friend & yes man”; resentful male teen: Darla’s ex
Act 1 – Scene 1: (Football field of an American high school. VICTOR, a handsome but height-challenged teenager, sits on the bleachers under klieg lights)
Victor (to audience)
The new guy!
(spits)
It’s always about the new guy! Oooo – he’s so special! Oooo – he’s so different – Let’s give him EVERYTHING! Let’s give him a room In the same house With the coach’s beautiful daughter!
(pacing)
I ask you – is that fair? How can THAT be fair! Me – who’s always been loyal – Cut from the team! No more loyalty – that’s for sure – That coach is a such a cunt – They’re all cunts! “You’re not a team player,” says Coach Higgins – “Won’t take direction.” Know what that’s code for? Means I’m smart! Means I’ve figured things OUT. Means I ask questions and Think for MYSELF.
You’d think schools would value INTELLIGENCE But they’re just preachin’ The same old religion – Looks, money, genetic
Mutations! Like Their darling Oscar!
Who’s Oscar? What’s Oscar? What hole did he crawl out of? He’s not one of us That’s for sure – Floated here In a box, Climbed over some wall. Paid a criminal “coyote” To circumvent those Laws they claim to love: Barely speaks English and Here they are Lining up To suck his dick.
Listen to them Congratulate each other:
(high affected voice)
“We offer sanctuary!” “Cause we’re practically ANGELS” – But only athletes With “gifts” they need Get that “special treatment”.
What’s this fuss all about? What’s this “gift” really about? He learned to RUN is all Dodging border cops Thumbing his nose at Everyone Who’s been here FOREVER. Saps! We’re only good enough to Pay his bills!
He’s got HEIGHT – The guy’s good looking but – And that’s ALL he’s got. That’s ALL he is – He’s a pet and pets are ANIMALS!
(spits venomously)
Oscar!
(Enter ROCKY, best friend and yes man, equally discouraged)
Rocky Hey, who’re you talking to?
Victor A guy craving Intelligence in this neck of the woods Has to talk to himself.
Rocky Yeah, he does!
(beat)
And what’s that guy say?
Victor It’s not FAIR Is what I’m saying; Coach falling over Oscar Just for his legs.
Rocky Has that guy got legs! He DOES have legs! Regular jackrabbit That guy.
Victor Why’s this immigrant So special they’re breakin’ the rules I wanna know. Since the law says we Gotta go to school We’re really hostages – And what do they teach us? What do they care about?
Football! Following ORDERS. How to win games FOR SOMEBODY ELSE. Get our blocks caved in For the old folks’ amusement.
Rocky Aw – you’re just sore you were cut Everyone’s sore. But Who doesn’t like football? Football’s FUN Sure beats math.
(Thinks)
And chemistry.
(Shudders)
Victor You’re cut too Poor bastard – We don’t measure up To their sudden “new” standards.
Rocky
(apologetically)
I oughta Work out more. Squad goals!
Victor Squad goals? Following orders is more like it Give them your Brain for a plaything. You gotta MOVE ON man! I’ve moved on. Get with the program.
Rocky
(headscratching)
Whose program? Quarterbacks are heroes, man.
Victor Just a genetic mutation Centuries of selective breeding We should be ON TOP of this Not bottoming the heap!
Rocky Buddies RELY You’re the one who says that. We “Gotta play position” Like it or not.
(Shrug)
Victor Might as well Buy yourself a box, friend YOU’RE GONNA GET BURIED.
Rocky Nobody dies footballin’.
Victor But they die IN THE ARMY – And that’s where you’re goin’ Suckah – with their Squad goals in your head! Cannon fodder! That’s what the THINKERS say – Marching without questions Buys a hole in the ground!
Rocky But football –
Victor Forget football! See the BIG game. Football isn’t the universe, man. Look at Congress, look at Wall Street! What do you see?
Rocky Butt-ugly old men.
Victor Yeah, they are! Some poor fool be taking Their orders – where to jump and when! They’re laughing their Asses off all the way To the bank. They’re Partyin’ on YOUR time YOUR money, your LIFE My poor friend.
Rocky But I got nothin’! I had a girlfriend Had a place on the team Now I got nothin’!
Victor
(Taps his head)
All wealth is up here. It’s STRATEGY, man – we gotta learn GAME THEORY. Not football. I tell you, Man, they’re making us dumber! Just look all around you!
Rocky Seeing… what?
Victor Smart people like us – have got to Learn to teach themselves While some idiots Run around a field and other idiots Applaud. Listen to me. I’m the only one Keepin’ it real.
Rocky You’re the onlySmart guy at this school, Victor.
Victor
(Gratified)
That’s what I’m talking about! Getting dumped’s a mark of honor from Assholes like those.
Rocky
(Sadly)
Ya think? I was coming To ask you – What to do about Darla. You should have seen Her face when she –
(overwhelmed by anguished memory)
Victor Her face when she dumped you? Don’t cringe, bro! I’ve seen Darla’s face. Girl’s face Is her fortune.
Rocky Her face when she saw Oscar. That girl was drooling She’s never looked at me Anything like that.
Victor Girls be dramatic! Don’t take it serious!
Rocky But they live’ in the same house – You know Coach turns a blind eye No bro can fight that.
Victor Cut yourself free of that drama – And you stay lucky, my buddy. She did you a solid. We need to be Pullin’ them bitches, not Getting Cuffed. Stay wary, my brother. And Remember – all Chicks are alike.
Rocky There’s no chick Like Darla! She could be A supermodel. Her body! Coke bottle hips –
(shapes the air with his hands)
Victor
(Giving himself boobs)
And Playmate level Titties!
(they high five)
Free the Nipple! Not that you’ve SEEN them.
Rocky Oh brother – Hells yes I HAVE. Not talking side boob – Not bragging top boob – I’m sayin’ I kissed them and Seen the whole thing. Nips so – Pale – Pale as
(Gropes for metaphor)
Musclemilk. Not dark like porn queens but Pale – like a just-born baby.
(Deflates)
Victor I don’t believe you.
Rocky You don’t BELIEVE me? Callin’ me a liar?
Victor Then where’s your trophy?
(camera snap gesture)
No bares without shares.
Rocky No such luck.
Victor Why the heck not? You forget about Squad goals?
(threatening)
It’s your name On the line.
Rocky Hey – It was low light.
Victor Your phone got no Flashlight?
(Makes a “keep it coming” gesture)
Bros before hos.
Rocky Didn’t have my phone! This is Darla we’re talking about! Girl’s such a prude I was lucky to get close – Seize opportunity.
(Whispers)
Skinny dipping down In Darla’s POOL.
Victor You can’t score alone, Rocky. There’s buddies to feed.
Rocky I almost got there! She’s gone, now, Victor. It’s over. She’ll never sit On my face now. I’m out. I’m OVER.
Victor Hey! No one says You’re over till I say you’re over. What’s got into this chick?
Rocky ‘Cause she knows she’s beautiful! Darla’s so special! Wouldn’t let me Touch third.
Victor Listen to yourself! Giving her control!
Rocky
(whining)
Darla’s so different. Darla’s so special.
Victor You’re so CUFFED, man – That’s why she Dumps you – you’re into HER playbook, When she ought to be in YOURS. All quims are alike. Bitches need to be Dominated.
Rocky Not queens, man. They know they’re different.
Victor If I teach you one thing, bro It’s gotta be this – Beauty don’t last! Power lasts! Power grows! That’s the game, baby – it’s You or her – only one of you Gets out alive. Watch my lips! Second verse – same as the first. It’s her foot on your face or Your foot on her keester You better believe it. Play or be played.
Rocky But girls are so different! Some girls are big Some girls are tiny. Take Brandy’s chest –
Victor Taken. You’re wandering off point Rocky Here’s the point – Darla’s hot for beaner!
(frantic hip thrusting motion)
Rocky Aw, Darla doesn’t GET hot –
Victor Not for YOU, maybe. HE unsnapped her purse Gonna run through them bushes – If we let him – Like a machete.
Rocky But WHY? Just ‘cause He’s quarterback?
Victor ‘Cause he’s DIRTY. Girls can’t help it, brutha It’s all genetic – they got to Wander, seasoning the herd. First moment she saw him She’s wanting his rugrat Girl can’t help herself.
(falsetto voice)
Bareback me, baby! “I need a raw boy – Gimme your giant thing – Doin’ the map.” That’s why they need DOMINANCE.
Rocky Stop it! That’s not true! You don’t know that!
Victor All slits are ALIKE Lookin’ to get railed –
(grabs Rocky, shakes him)
You gotta Stay strong, my brutha – THIS is your moment THIS is your choice Don’t get cuffed Or you’ll soon be CUCKED!
“He’ll make the right call,” said Eight, squeezing my hand. “You can trust him.”
“I’m scared she’ll leave,” I said nervously. “It would be so awful if she gets away. I tell you right now I’d never sleep another night.”
“Mr. Wilmot and the marshals won’t let that happen. Strength to Strength,” he said. “It’s a Native American expression. To know is to believe and to believe is to know.”
I knew strength as a Tarot card. Strength is important. But there isn’t a knowledge card. There should be. Facts. God, they are beautiful.
“I feel better,” I said. “But I’m embarrassed.”
“Peyote on the first date?” he teased. “Sorry. I won’t even mention getting naked.”
“Asking you to marry me on the first date. That’s what’s really bothering me.”
“Hey, don’t you know that wolf spirits mate once and forever? I’m a Gemini – I’ve been looking for my soulmate my whole life.”
And what have I been doing my whole life? Fighting Charmian. That’s what it feels like.
Eight picked up my hand where it lay in his and kissed the back of it. “I was waiting for someone who knew what it was like to grow up in the heart of a monster,” he said. “I just didn’t know it.”
“I have two sisters,” I told him. “They’re a lot older. They’re always telling me – they used to tell me – that I was just like her. They referred – I mean, obviously they didn’t mean in the physical or in my relations with men –“
“I get it. They really meant that you were determined,” said Eight. “Goal-focused.”
It feels so much better to be recognized! “They just felt that – since Dad wouldn’t want Charmian exposed –“
“What does it matter what “they” think?” asked Eight. “They’re two different people, so in spite of what they might want you to believe, they don’t really think together.”
And that is incontestably true. McKenzie’s bossier. Darby’s more of a rabble-rouser. Darby might be following McKenzie…some of the time. Don’t I sometimes get more of a hint of “You go girl” from the glint in Darby’s eyes?
“People talk about “they,” Eight was saying, “But there’s no “they” there. People’s lips may say one thing, but their eyes say something else. And their actions may be completely different. Who knows what their hearts say? We have to go our own way, on our own path.”
“As long as its the right path,” I agreed. “I felt like, even if my father had begged me, back there in the sweat lodge, to let Charmian go, I couldn’t have done it.”
“She’s too dangerous,” said Eight. “People like that are just too dangerous.”
Beat. So, as the old joke goes, enough about me. What do you think about me? At a certain point a girl had better start showing some interest in her date, other than caring only about how fantastically sensitive he is to her.
“So you grew up in the heart of the monster,” I started. “How did you escape?”
“I almost didn’t,” he admitted. “It was completely the church elders. They just rescued me. It was like I was drowning and they set up life buoys. Lifeboats.”
“So, I guess your Mom’s a member.”
There I touched it. The pain. The exposed nerve. He looked away.
“No,” he said. “She’s really not. She’s eaten out inside from the drugs. There’s not much left.” What he described was horrible. But I’ve seen it. In my own father.
“I have to be straight edge,” he said. “There’s too much addiction on both my family trees.” A straight edge peyote taking visionary? I could see it.
The inner door burst open and Justice’s Avenging Angel – in the person of Mr. Wilmot – stood before us.
“I think you may have landed the big one,” he said.
“The big one?” We rose, as if before a verdict.
“Female serial killer,” he said. “Wouldn’t it be great? Female serial killers are very hard to catch. They lie low. They don’t have the need to show off. They’re very astute at blending in.”
My stepmother without the need to show off? I wouldn’t recognize her. On the other hand, if she hadn’t been “showing off” for Eight, would we ever have nailed her?
“I need a judge to sign the arrest warrant,” said Mr. Wilmot. “Fortunately we’ve got one waiting right around the corner.”
“Arrest warrant for murder?” I asked. It was too good to be true. Nothing was proven.
“For jury tampering and obstruction of justice,” said Mr. Wilmot. “And that’s just to begin with. Wait till Judge Kozlowsky discovers she swore a false oath in his court! We’ve got her dead to rights on her own words. I’ve got to notify the other side that we’ve got a mistrial. They’ll be jubilant.” “Won’t she just bond out?” I asked wearily. “I mean, Charmian?”
And then there would be – literally – hell to pay. And I would be the one to pay it. Charmian’s first call would be to Nicholas Rudoff, our trustee. He takes her calls, wherever he is. She has him on speed dial.
“Impossible. She’s really outsmarted herself this time. She has to prove who she is just to get out of jail. The criminal justice system doesn’t recognize “uxes”, let me assure you. We don’t bond out “Jane Does.” By all means, let her prove she’s Pearleen Purdy. That will help us make our case. And by the time she’s ready to do that, we will have dug up a certain catalpa tree dedicated to Robert Garvin, Junior.”
The marshal knocked on the door to the jury deliberation room. Eight grabbed my hand tightly in reassurance and solidarity. For the few seconds that we waited for the door to open I actually felt sorry for Charmian. She was so wrong about everything. She made the very mistake she wanted everyone else to make; she judged by appearances.
Some woman in glasses opened the door. The jurors were seated around the table, papers strewn, faces heated – obviously we interrupted them in the midst of an intense discussion. All faces but one turned to us in calm surprise, taking this to be some ordinary interruption, as if we had come with coffee or cookies. But the woman at the door saw the marshals had their hands on their pistols and she stepped hurriedly behind the door as if it was the only safe place in the world. Charmian’s eyes flickered over me and saw Eight. Saw our joined hands, and rose to her feet with her teeth bared in a snarl.
Mr. Wilmot spoke the words.
“Jane Doe, also known as Pearleen Purdy, also known as Charmian Carr, also known as Charmian Quantreau, you are under arrest for perjury, jury tampering, and obstruction of justice. You have the right to remain silent –“
He read the whole Miranda warning, asking her “Do you understand?” She said nothing, never taking her eyes off me. Eight and I stood there calmly and faced her. She wasn’t to know about our clenched guts and our dry mouths.
The trees know where they are. The trees are not afraid.
He read numbers and statutes as the marshals handcuffed her. I saw her pupils recognizing, swiveling, hypnotizing, trying to suck me inside to join her in the yawning abyss that was left of her soul. But there was still enough of a human being left in there to feel pain. I saw the agony of her loss as she recognized that Eight had never been hers, that she had never known him, that he had chosen me. I almost wavered at the sight of so much suffering.
Then I remembered how she used to torture my father when he wanted a drink of water. “You’ll only piss your pants.”
“We’ll take this,” said Wilmot, darting forward to grab her juror’s notebook. I saw the panic in her face.
“You can’ take that! It’s private!”
“It’s the property of the court now,” said Mr. Wilmot dryly. “Who else does it belong to? Pearleen Purdy? Charmian Carr? Jane Doe?” he faced the astonished jurors, saying, “Judge Kozlowsky thanks you for your service, but he has declared a mistrial in this case. The clerk will be in momentarily to take your statements.”
It knocked the wind out of them. It would have silenced anyone else, but as they dragged my stepmother past me, she mouthed words. At me. “Well played. All Hail the New Queen!” What a bitch!
Eight pulled on my arm. “Now what were we talking about when we were so rudely interrupted?” he demanded, turning my body to face him, forcing me to focus on his face.
I felt like a drowning swimmer pulled away from the undertow. Pulled out of the riptide. Life buoys. Lifeboats. Wasn’t that what we’d been talking about? How just when you think you’re going under for the final time –
I wiped my tears away. “Infinity?” I suggested.
“Before that,” he countered. We were walking now. Every step was taking us farther away from what was left of my stepmother. Farther away from the jail, from this courthouse in the heart of the city. He prompted, “Weren’t you saying something about wanting to get to know me?”
Out on the steps we paused a moment to enjoy the magnificence of the soft spring night. The stars were out, every single one of them. Even the ones that had been dead for years.
“You’re right,” I agreed. “I remember now.”
THE END
TOMORROW: Cuck’d – Alysse Aallyn’s play “Othello in an American High School”
As we, the jury, filed out, the whole courtroom rose to their collective feet – everyone except the judge – who looked at us as if he had never seen us before.
With the door closing behind us Roccam rubbed his hands with the infernal busybody’s pleasure. “Shall we order dinner?” he asked, reveling in his appointment as foreman. “Let’s get right to it. We can get a couple of hours in anyway.”
He wasn’t fooling me. He just wanted to see that video. They all did. The judge’s clerk wheeled in the audiovisual cart, but we weren’t going to play it with her around.
They insisted on watching it twice; Howling Woodchuck had the nerve to slow it down and follow it frame by frame. The jerky stop-motion didn’t do the participants any favors. I rolled my eyes.
My husband considered himself as a “serious” collector of pornography. Art, he sometimes had the nerve to call it. Did you know that all women’s bodies are considered Art? He was a silly, silly man. Of course it had to be a great big secret – one of many of Papa’s nasty little secrets I was deputized to keep. Secrets of the diaper, secrets of the catheter. The precious daughters weren’t to know. Porn served as his instructional and physical therapy textbook, unfortunately, and since he was so disabled it was up to me to do all the work.
After he died, mouth open, hands coiled around the pillow, I tossed out most of his collection with a sense of considerable satisfaction. All but a few choice pieces I positioned for Whitney to find. Time she was apprised of the extent of Daddy’s distinctly unwholesome breast fixation.
In the jury room, at last the TV was turned off and the binders of evidence handed round. We each received our own. At that point the sandwiches and Snapples arrived; just in time for an “amuse bouche”; making such a nice counterpoint with the apparently endless crime scene photos and the autopsy report. The rest of them picnicked carelessly atop their evidence binders. Luna and Bea squabbled, in an intense yet polite way, over the sour cream versus the onion potato chips. Bea won. Age before Obesity, my dear.
I couldn’t eat. These people were savages. I know I had to go through this for you, but whatever compromise I must invent to keep me from up and murdering the lot of them, I will just have to pursue. I have the self-control. I have the power. Eyes on the prize. The prize, of course, being you. “I’ll take notes,” I offered. Now they won’t question your presence in our midst. If they ask me what any one of them actually said, I’ll make up any old damn thing I please. Our notes are ours alone – nothing else could be so private. I’ve been told we take them home. No one else will read them, except for you. They’ll just have to trust me. Har, har.
“Guilt and innocence,” said the crone, whose name was Bea. “It’s a big responsibility.”
The guilty and the innocent? I wrote. Or the detected and undetected? How many of the innocent wish they were guilty, would be, if they could only summon up the nerve. The worms. Yawn.
“Fortunately we don’t have to deal with such unfathomable concepts,” said C.D. in a superior way. “We only have to decide if the state has proved its case.”
I was rifling the fashion magazines for the Bond girl – Selina Kavanaugh’s address. Just in case. Oh! Found it!. 14-B, Pierce Point Acres. I secreted it gracefully in my bag.
“Maybe we should take an anonymous vote,” said Roccam. “Just to see which way everyone is leaning. It would be more democratic.”
“I don’t know what’s so democratic about anonymity,” I contributed, unable to resist. “Surely people should stand up for what they believe.” So I know what I’m up against. My husband was not much of a democrat. He prided himself on being an “elitist.” He used the word “Kantian” pejoratively, trying to force me to agree that if Kant’s theorem came true and we actually behaved the way we wanted other people to act the world would be simply unbearable; a miserable place where everyone was the same. That’s “democracy” for you. Fortunately, the thing’s impossible.
“I don’t think we should vote yet,” said one of the clone-men. “We gave an oath to pass judgment after due deliberation, not off the top of our heads.”
I could tell he was really just annoyed at Roccam for winning foreman.
“I think she’s guilty,” said Luna boldly. “That girl’s the manipulative type. You can see her twining herself around the whole defense table like some sort of Virginia creeper. That poor old Haymaker was in enough hot water already, why would he borrow trouble? I understand he was all coked out, but really. If she really had nothing to do with it, why did she act so guilty? Why run away? Why not turn him in immediately after the crime?”
“She talked to this guy nonstop about her problems,” objected Howling Woodchuck, “And suddenly the problem’s removed. She goes rushing off to Europe? The way I see it, she’s afraid to dump him, she’s afraid to turn him in, but she’s also afraid to be with him. Maybe he was going to have her offed, for all she knew! I mean, he knew where to find hitmen and she obviously didn’t. I have to say her behavior looks like innocence to me.”
“She did turn him in,” said, Bea, and Luna joined in, “Because the FBI made her. They said to her, like, it’s either him or you.”
Honestly these people don’t have a pair of working brain cells to rub together. I began to think maybe it was my best gambit to let them talk and talk until they all got sick of each other. When they were ready to go home they would be ready to listen to reason. But can I stand it?
“I believe Haymaker,” said one of the alternates. “People tell the truth when they’ve nothing left to lose.”
“Heck no, that’s nonsense” said a white haired trucker leaving most of his meatball grinder in his beard. “People act the way they’ve always acted. Selfish people continue to act selfish. People who like throwing a wrench into the works – what do they call them – saboteurs – continue to throw wrenches. Sociopath, that’s what the doctor called him. He doesn’t want to see anybody win. Spread the grief around. Misery loves company.”
“Are you sure you’re not feeling favorable towards the defendant just because she’s so good looking?” Bea asked acidly.
The schoolmarm said, “You can’t believe Haymaker because the defense got him to admit he’s a perjurer! How can we possibly believe a guy like that?”
I looked daggers at her. What a jackass! If they were going to continue being so stupid I wouldn’t be able to stay out of it.
And then the old black woman, who had never said a word, spoke up.
“Well, you know what I think,” she said, “ I think that little girl doesn’t have the personality of a killer.”
“How can you possibly know what a killer’s personality is like?” demanded Luna.
“Well, you see,” the retired housecleaner – or whoever she was – offered shyly, “I read lots of true crime. It’s my favorite. And murderers can’t help bragging. They always brag. They think they’re the center of the universe and everything revolves around them! They want people knowing just how smart they’ve been. They’re so sharp they cut themselves! But she didn’t tell anyone. She refused to even talk about it with Haymaker. Don’t you think they would have caught her on tape if they could?”
Now we had an authority on murderers! My pen jabbed right through the paper. “You know what I hate,” said Lacey, speaking up haltingly for the first time. I think she’s one of those agoraphobes. The more people present, the more trouble they have participating. “If we acquit her then she’s getting away with it. Then she’s committed the perfect murder!”
Really, I had to speak up. You would have been proud of me. “Having someone commit your murder for you is hardly the perfect murder,” I objected. “If she’s guilty she involved no less than three people to get the job done! Not to mention Tobin’s girlfriend and God knows who else. It’s the mark of an idiot.”
They all turned and stared at me, chewing with their mouths open.
“I just didn’t believe that shrink,” said Luna, changing the subject in order to push her weight around. “All I know is, they’ll say anything to keep the paying customers coming. You don’t ever get well with one of those guys. They always keep changing their diagnoses. First it’s manic depression and then its bipolar and then it’s not bipolar and then it’s type one or type two. They’re the ones that should be on trial.”
“So you’re saying that he’s not a sociopath,” said Woodchuck, folding his arms across his belly like it was going to be a long night. “So what is he? Just a mean, evil guy?”
“He’s sick,” said Bea. “There must be something wrong with him, to do all the things he did.” I imagined tying them to their chairs and setting the room on fire, their piteous eyes and hysterical wails. Denial! Bargaining! Bribery! The exits barred. Should we let them go? Never! The two of us, laughing together. A good time had by all. Sick!
The pleasure of being rich is that your voice, you will counts for so much more than anybody else’s. You get what you want, they stand in line. You don’t have to waste your precious time arguing with the little people. It was gong to be a long night.
Eventually anybody will vote anything, just to get out of this room. These are the wolves, sniffing at each other’s behinds. Almost idly, I announced, “Not all murderers are sociopaths.” “Oh, that can’t be true,” the schoolmarm lectured me. “There has to be something wrong with a person who thinks they have the right to take another’s life.”
Let them talk. In my mind I pulled a card. The Judgment card of course. Cosmic forces have been set in motion. My card displays a robed dignitary weighing a “blood payment” in his golden scales. Balance. Ancient justice was based on compensation, not punishment. What’s past is past. The Sivarros give the Zanellis a couple of cows, they throw a big party, and everybody’s happy. When bloodshed is necessary, it’s a balm for our rage, a force for change, the milk that nourishes our future.
I looked at my watch. After eight already! Outside there was a commotion in the corridor and a series of knocks at our door. Rescue! I rose expectantly. Have you noticed how often when I desire something, it automatically appears? See how the universe continually confirms my royalty?
I was so full of delicious barbecue, berry cobbler and spinach lasagna that I could barely run. But Eight and I managed to power walk down the courthouse hallway. As long as we were hand in hand, my connection with this total stranger was strong and fierce. Mr. Wilmot, whom I recognized as the prosecutor giving the closing argument I listened to just this afternoon, thrust his head outside his office.
“So Zach,” he asked, “What’s the emergency?”
“We’ve got some facts about one of your jurors that you really need to know,” said Eight. I felt a strange exhilaration that the prosecutor, whom Eight called a “friend”, nevertheless didn’t know – or use – Eight’s secret name. The club I belonged to was way more exclusive.
In the prosecutor’s office was a nightmarishly uncomfortable Danish “Oldern” sofa bearing a single needle-pointed cushion bearing the legend: “The meek may inherit the earth, but without you they won’t keep it very long.”
“My wife made that,” said Wilmot. “Come on in. Have a seat.” I felt kind of guilty for bothering him, he looked so harassed. He wore his gray suit pants but no jacket, had removed his tie and his collar was undone. His pepper and salt hair stood up all over his head like a bulldog’s fur, and he peered at us over his bifocals as Eight said,
“First tell him about your stepmother’s identity problems, Whitney.”
But first I looked around. You are not lost; the trees know where they are. The walls were covered with plaques, awards, framed certificates and degrees. In a painting of justice the blindfolded goddess holding the scales pulled her blindfold down just enough for one eye to peek out. Made me think of Charmian’s mesmerizing tarot cards. I didn’t like thinking about them.
We sat down together on the uncomfortable sofa. It was all right because Eight and I were together.
“I’m Whitney Quantreau,” I said. “My stepmother’s on your jury. Charmian Quantreau. But that’s not her real name. I just came back from Cold Creek, Texas, where I found out that the real Charmian Carr has been missing for the past ten years. Her family just had her declared dead. I have a picture of her here,” I gave him my manila envelope with the copy of Charmian’s book and the Firewalker material, but he made no move to open it. “Her real name is Pearleen Purdy and I think she stole Charmian’s identity.”
“She stole your stepmother’s identity?” he asked me.
This was going to be a touchy story to tell. But I had Eight beside me. I swallowed, took a breath and went on, “She was pretending to be Charmian Carr seven years ago when she married my father. Now he’s dead and she killed him. She admits it all in this book.”
“It’s a love letter to me,” said Eight. “She thinks I killed Rafe Zanelli. She thinks I’m a fellow spirit.” Wilmot sat down. I think he fell into his chair.
“It’s all in the book,” said Eight. “She murdered her stepfather first, and then she cut Charmian Carr’s throat and buried her under a catalpa tree in Texas. Then she murdered Whitney’s father.” “I made a copy,” I offered. “It’s in there.”
“I have a mistrial,” said Wilmot. Not looking happy about it. “Mistrials are expensive.”
“Sorry,” I squeaked. More guilt!
He recovered fast. He was a fast recoverer. Probably how you get to be prosecutor.
“It has a good side,” said the prosecutor. “It’s like moot court. We get to find out how the jury was tending. Does anybody else know about this?”
“Only my church elders,” said Eight. “They won’t speak to anybody.”
Wilmot rose decisively. “I need the original. I always need the original.”
So I had been right about that. Could it just be fate that I stole the book on the very day Charmian didn’t go home? The last day of the trial? I guess sometimes fate works one way, and sometimes another.
Eight gave him the book. Now he had everything. It was literally out of our hands. “Excuse me,” said Wilmot, and he proceeded through a glass door into an inner office.
Eight and I were alone. We looked at each other. I swear to you we recognized each other. But what did we see? Who did we recognize?
As I slept in my juror’s chair I was visited – tormented, I should say – by the strangest dream. I never even think about my husband, yet there he was, as the young man I knew he’d been from film and photograph, able-bodied, healthy, loading some dirty old truck with fishing gear. He wore one of those stupid hats festooned with hooks. Why those people don’t catch their own brains with those hats I’ll never know. I suppose it proves they haven’t any.
He gestured to me to come over and I went very unwillingly because I knew he wanted to take me with him and I didn’t want to go. Then – here’s the horrible part – he swelled up all dark and horrible and tried to get a net over me. He turned into my stepfather.
From beyond the grave he was laughing at me, thinking he’d got the better of me. My fear shot up; how many times would I have to kill him? But he will never capture me; I am too strong for him. I will never let go. The two of us can die here fighting but I will never give up. He leaped on my body as if, because he was my first, therefore he owned my spirit, but I wrapped the net around his neck and began to pull. It seemed my own air was cut off, I was choking, but even if I had to die to destroy him, it was worth it.
And after death, what? Would I rule my captured souls in hell? We’ll see. Even if all I earned is oblivion, it would be worth that risk to spit out my final rage into the face of the cold universe. But where was I now? This was not oblivion, but eternal loneliness. Suddenly it seemed that I was shut away forever, out of the excitement, out of the light, in some dark, dank, dripping cell. Down at the bottom of the well, wrapped in an unholy embrace with my rotting stepfather’s corpse… Someone was shaking me. How dare they?
It was Lacey. I woke up sweating and shivering and filled with rage. I could feel the drool – old people’s drool – hardening into crusts at the corners of my mouth.
Lacey’s hand brushed my arm. “Are you OK?” Her face approximated some semblance of concern but I was certain I had caught a glimpse of the secret glee hidden behind her eyes; unholy joy that I, too, was human, aged, imperfect. That her disgusting fate, entropy was stalking me as well. Roughly I pushed her hand away.
“Don’t ever touch me again,” I snapped at her. Unbidden human touch is so disgusting. Less majesty. The nerve of some people.
Alysse Aallyn 