Alysse Aallyn

Tag: #Interdependence

  • The Book of You – Haiku Diary by Alysse Aallyn

    #Haiku: Propagation

    Propel/Repel

    Produce:

    Remaster/Refurbish

    Re-

    Copy;

    Sur –

    Vive

  • Sleeping Orchid – Creative Boot Camp for Sensitives & Empaths with Alysse Aallyn

    Symbiosis – Interdependence

    If This Archetype Chooses You – Here’s why your orchid is refusing to wake up: You’re running scared. You feel “out on a limb”. You know you can’t make it on your own. We are social beings, we know we need other people, all those characters who people your dreams. We are DEPENDENT on them. This is such a tough thing to face that there are whole categories of people who go around insisting THEY “made it without any help.” They’re the only ones who believe it! They’ve actually assembled a vast team, and not only that, they are dependent on teams set up by others to provide safety, water, heat, light, transport. Visit a country where this isn’t a given and realize what a massive enterprise smoothly and quietly takes place around us every day. Current efforts to “break the system” by people who would rather buy a third yacht instead provide additional proof in the Now.

    Flourish, Don’t Exploit – Give Back. Symbiosis benefits everyone. If it leaves you “worse off” it’s not symbiosis, it’s exploitation. In our dreams we fear depredation, loss, failure, humiliation. Our sleep world is the theatre where we rehearse our fears, presumably making them LESS LIKELY to come true! We fear dependence because that means our “supply” can be cut off. But we also provide supply to others. What, and who? Any way we can improve the supply lines?

    Creatives Understand Systems – We live in a flow. Achieving psychic flow state allows us to contribute to the constructive flow of life. Blockages are caused by greed, (wanting too much) by envy (desiring others’ take-down) and by narcissistic rage (if I can’t be happy, no one gets to be happy.) Creatives demonstrate positive flow with their lives, their relationships and their bodies.

    Creative Danger – Interdependence is a delicate balance, requiring sensitivity, reflection, and the capacity to change. Above all we want to avoid “Doomsday thinking” in which “since” the obvious entropy of the universe ruins all relationships eventually, so, by this reasoning, they must be ruined NOW. This “fear” completely overlooks the spiritual growth which time can foster. Interdependence gives us insight and time and improved relationships – a recipe for emotional and intellectual thriving.

    Creatives Collaborate – Collaboration is inspired sharing. We are born with “essence” as our own unique mandate, and we acquire positive skills on our path through life. We contribute our skilled essence to the flow, and everyone has a different skilled essence to contribute. We inspire one another to our best achievements. We don’t want to live in a lonely universe.

    Creative Challenge – To become independent (i.e. free) we must intellectually face the fact of our dependence on others and their dependence on us. Is there harm involved? Depredation? Abuse? Don’t make me repeat the 17 warning signs of an abusive relationship. You should be able to recognize them by now so that you can strategize a way out! If you DON’T recognize them there’s a very good chance your dreams DO. Pay attention to those. They are warning you. It’s possible to be abused by relationships with people we’ve never met – banks – corporations – landlords – employers – if this isn’t an equally mutual beneficial relationship we’re OUTTA HERE. (This is why authoritarians fear Cancel Culture. It reduces their depredation pool.) Yes, you CAN demand & secure relationships that are more beneficial.

    Creatives Don’t Self-Sabotage – Creatives don’t foul their own nests, pollute their springs or wage zero sum games. Creatives understand that win-win supports all life in general and their lives in particular.

    Creative Opportunity – Concepts of worldly “perfection” are a persistent problem because Perfection is about death. Perfection is “finishing.” Perfection is stasis when growth has stopped. WE Creatives must be about change, evolution, and becoming. Wisdom! Sharing joy! A back and forth process involving OTHER PEOPLE. Let’s work on our confidence. Let’s work on our spiritual muscle. Let’s work on our mapping abilities so we have a good idea where we’re headed. Expect surprises and greet them when they show up: “Hello old friend.”

    Models & Mentors – “Symbiotic relationship in nature teaches us cooperation and shows that we are all connected” – Sanchita Pandey

    “You are in a dynamic relationship with the universe because your existence is win-win” – Teal Swan

    ‘Symbiosis is a much higher reflection of intelligent life” – Frederick Lenz

    “Love is a positive, symbiotic, reciprocal flow between two or more entities”
    – Inga Muscio

    #Haiku: Independent

    Lonely.
    Needing nobody
    Nobody
    Needing you –
    Welcome to Hell

  • Butterfly Language for Caterpillars – Soulmate Seeking with Alysse Aallyn

    Clinging vine = DEPENDENCY “Old Masters”

    “Shock”

    A Clinging Vine can’t support itself. We ruthlessly exclude weeds from our garden, but if a vine flowers prettily enough there is a danger that we may tend to let it run until it has squeezed itself around our hearts.

    There is certainly a place in a Garden for a Clinging Vine, but we must think in terms of the supports first, the antique arbor, the sweetly unpainted shed, even, as V. Sackville-West liked to do, sending climbing roses up the trunks of apple trees to provide a profusion of springtime blossoms. Is our Vine beautifying our Garden, or subtly dragging everything ground-wards?

    Everyone, everywhere, is in “unequal” relationships. But the powerful try very hard to pretend they aren’t. Why is it so humiliating to admit that we depend on other people? Rich people and aristocrats of every stripe have voluminous social codes designed exclusively to deny the fact that they require support; in most practical ways they are as helpless as an infant. History often appears to suggest that it’s more admirable to act like a monster than to admit inadequacy.

    Interdependence is the acknowledged goal, but some gifts are rarer than others, certainly they’re more highly prized, which may give some partners an inflated view of their own ”value.”

    But market negotiations, like shallowness and lack of commitment, spell death to the romantic Tantric bond. To maintain vibrancy, to power the circuits of passion, a vigorous self must flourish. The give-and-take of our differing power sources versus our dependency needs will fuel a super-relationship. What blocks this ideal state?

    Youth is the time we experiment with being all things to all people while we fantasize about getting our “requirements” met as effortlessly – read “unconsciously” – as possible. That way we will never have to confront them, test them or question them.

    Maturity usually forces us to face the facts we have been dodging. We may begin our Soulmate dance with the hope of total sharing and equity, but we will wake up one morning and confront life’s truth; this relationship is not equal and never can be. As we gradually accept that we each have separate gifts and interests (I am never going to want to clean the garage) this growing understanding could evolve into fear, even paranoia – as we tell the world – and most importantly, convince ourselves – we can no longer ‘survive” without this person.

    In true Soulmate connection, the mirror image of this fear evolves on the other side. This scary dynamic can lead to a Dark Night of the Soul where partners will be tempted to proclaim “freedom” with public displays (bickering) or covert offensives (cheating financially, sexually, emotionally.)

    This never works – only destruction lies that way, but some of us whose bones tremble with memories of youthful abandonment conclude that “scorched earth” is preferable to publicly admitting another has invaded our very soul. This Dark Night must be lived through; in the fire, you will become the flame.

    The “save” always lies in honestly reaching out to each other and fully confessing to The Terror. Believe me, if you’re feeling it, they’re feeling it too. On the other side of this dread you will truly become One.


    Old Masters

    With age lubricity
    Darkens into sweat;
    We face each other
    Across the cooling dinner,
    Night by night
    Stiff as andirons
    Masterpieces best seen by candlelight
    To hide the cracks,
    Well-meant improvements by
    Another’s hand.
    A well-matched pair.
    Gardens edged perennially with stone
    Are called unkillable;
    One fountain singing
    This tune only. What oracle?
    It didn’t look this way
    Going forward
    Backward is a different view.

    I think I caught this from my mother,
    She played the crone in Wuthering Heights;
    Who preaches doom
    In guise of cheer. All
    I request is light enough
    To read my tarot; instead I’m fated
    Recycling tea brewed
    From murky bathwater.
    These leaves are dark and do not speak.
    I shiver with cold and you
    With anger; a well-matched pair, a
    Brace of disappointments.
    There’s still too much
    We can’t admit.