Parents can watch this need for The Reciprocal Other awaken. At about the age of two the infant, who has belonged to the parents and who has felt like part of them, begins to show a lot of interest in the outside world. But when she sees a pint-sized someone exactly like herself, a certain sparkle comes into her eyes. She wants to clutch, bond with, play with that person. Hang on, because now the thrill-ride is beginning, the search Plato described as our search for our Missing Half. Mating behavior is an even more powerful driver in biology than feeding needs. Mating drives species to extravagant displays of seemingly dangerous behaviors, obsessive building, fighting and positioning. Species who mate for life put themselves through complex effort to secure The One. So this is biology, folks. You are in the grips of an instinctual drive it is pointless to resist. Hang on, and let’s make sure your brain becomes engaged.
Sex cadets
I shall orchestrate your life I say Make your blood sing woodwind Stretch my nerve harp-tight Across your exo-shell While you, heart racer Put me through my paces Pushing your muscle through The gates of my life Pushing past theories of the pluperfect poetical pushing like a downhill artist the speed racer you claim to be Speed devil Speed demon Speed dreamer.
Assess your potential to connect. We wake alone, but we are on the path of Attachment. Ask yourself; do you seek balanced, indestructible attachment, synchronous, not disharmonic relationship; a connection that is symbiotic, not exploitative. If the answer is Yes, you are on the path of Paradise.
How can we achieve these goals? First, we must understand and accept our Self, our Ego, with all its quirks and flaws, needs and yearnings, limits and possibilities. Then we must understand the Other; the Lover. We must attune ourselves to the structure of their yearning to begin to construct our duet, our dance. After that we must negotiate the rapids of relationship with each other and with the outside world. Danger! Excitement! Ecstasy! Despair…Compassion. Union.
We are caterpillars, you and I, attempting to learn the language of butterflies. We are unprepossessing creatures, daily absorbed in infantile needs of eating and excreting, but we have a firm promise of a future in which we stretch our gorgeous wings.
Can a Goddess Find Her Soulmate – It’s a challenge! You are used to being large and in charge, decisive and capable of sweepingly instantaneous change. You require another soaring spirit to match your skills.
Have you been dreaming of the “other”? In the multiverse, everything we do creates its opposite. Do you look in the mirror and see another face? Do you dream of a lost twin? Do you imagine you can feel that “other” across a crowded room, and think when you touch their hand, you will feel a strange galvanic charge? Are you a cynic about soulmates? Disenchanted with sex? Do you have sex dreams that are more like night terrors? Does sex make you feel increasingly hardened and untouchable?
Soulmates Are Real and You Have One – Soulmates need to “create” each other. It’s never too late. You are never so “lost” you can’t find your soulmate. The problem is, your soulmate feels just the way you do and both of you are threatened by those feelings, isolating you further in an invisible, impenetrable membrane you’ve mistaken as Goddess-hood. But Goddess Power never diminishes, it evolves. Recognition and acceptance of our own neediness takes a lot of bravery, a lot of humility, much insight and a little magic.
Desire Can Be Slaked – Temporarily. Goddesses stay alert. We don’t pursue numbness – or even satiety. It’s good to get acquainted with hunger. Pro tip – hunger keeps you young. Hunger is a condition of youth.
When Goddesses Bond There is No Going Back. – The potential magic of sexual connection ignites the search for a SoulMate. Goddesses believe that once found, a Soul Pair becomes capable of Time Travel, TransSubstantiation, and Immortality. Genders merge; either one can be feminine, masculine or androgyne at will. One wing searches for another to form a bird and fly. The question we must ask ourselves is: are we willing to undergo the pain of having the boundaries of our borders breached to fully merge with another?
Goddesses Lift Each Other’s Souls – The power of a doubled pair is raised to the nth power by their knowledge, commitment and shared purpose.
Goddesses Release Each Other – There are so many permissions, forgivenesses, and skills we cannot give ourselves. Love literally gives you eyes in the back of your head. There is no hiding from your soulmate.
Doubled Goddesses Power the Universe – The constant clash of mating, sharing, satisfying and negotiating is the music of the spheres. It keeps us all spinning in an ecstasy of selfless selfhood.
Goddess Challenge – There are plenty of frogs out there and some vipers, and you will kiss each. Possibly more than once. It’s also possible that we have “rewired” our system – through porn, games, and casual sex – so that it actually prevents us from recognizing a soulmate and forging a life bond. This is why starting as friends is so critical. It gets your defenses down to the point where you can talk about fears, desires and problematic reactions. Go slowly, welcome mistakes and be prepared to learn. Because of our enhanced powers, goddesses have more to learn than most people.
Goddess Danger – Sometimes – let’s face it – most times, you and your soulmate are “sick.” You have “caught” infection from a society that says “fuck you” to eternal, mystical, mutual sexual union. That makes things hard. You don’t recover overnight. You must commit to good mental, emotional, physical, spiritual and sexual hygiene and you will both have to figure out what it is. You need to make a plan – yes, a map – out of each other’s minds and bodies. If the other person refuses to accept health you will have to detach for your own sanity and safety. Vampires make other vampires, and bliss will elude them. The most important part of soulmating is the mutual pledge for health and growth – for both of you.
Goddess Opportunity – My book, I’ll Sleep When You’re Dead – is about the supernatural powers of soulmates. It’s about what to do when you dislike and distrust your soulmate at first. It’s about what to do when you and your soulmate both have horrific pasts and are pursued by actual demons. I can’t say it clearer than that. Don’t be frightened. Your bond is eternal, across time, geography and multiverses. Take it slow. You have all the time in the multiverse.
Bereavement Is Never the End – As life itself is not the end, bereavement cannot be. The glory of bliss still awaits, and detached Soulmates have been known to find each other and form new spiritual and physical connections.
Models & Mentors – “A soulmate’s purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life and then introduce you to your spiritual master” – Elizabeth Gilbert
“A soulmate is the one person whose love is powerful enough to motivate you to meet your soul to do the emotional work of self-discovery and awakening”
– Kenny Loggins
“They fought all the time and challenged each other every day. They were crazy about each other” – Nicholas Sparks
“I know what love is, because of you.” – Herman Hesse
This can’t be real, Jazz. It isn’t real. It’s some planet we’re not on.
JAZZ
But it makes perfect sense. It answers all the questions. You know in your heart that was his plan all along.
CHASE
It can’t be real because my Mom is dead. Years ago. She killed herself the first Christmas I didn’t come home.
JAZZ
(Keeps trying to go back)
But I saw her. I We were there. How can it not be true?
(He tries to hug her – she resists)
Don’t touch me! I don’t feel like touching ever again.
(CHASEsits on the edge of the stage)
CHASE
Corso loves games – he’s always up for the latest thing. He can even claim he told us! We fell for it like puppies jumping for a biscuit.
JAZZ
So that part’s real? Our sex archetypes all over the cloud?
CHASE
Sexsomnia is real. He was way ahead of me.
(beat)
I should have guessed. It’s always the worst thing he can think of. Welcome to my nightmare.
JAZZ
I don’t want details.
CHASE
But we need to see – Everyone needs to see – just how the magician operates.
JAZZ
You’re right – magic is the important thing. There was magic all along, in spite of Corso.
CHASE
All he cares about it is cash and control. He honed the perfect weapon to take life hostage.
JAZZ
How ironic that the moment we stop believing, magic appears!
CHASE
Only toddlers believe. And toddlers are ill-equipped for these frolics. Where’s the magic in that?
JAZZ
Seeing your Mom was magic.
CHASE
Dark magic, you’ll agree. What were they thinking? Russian-Irish could never work!
JAZZ
My combination’s Portuguese-Swedish. Your Mom said she forgave you.
CHASE
She didn’t!
JAZZ
She did. I heard her. What was it like to see her again?
CHASE
Amazing and frustrating – the way it always was.
JAZZ
Admit we got the most wonderful bath! For a few minutes we saw how happy we could be.
CHASE
A ritual cleanse. Did seem like it was working.
JAZZ
I felt such peace, like nothing could hurt us ever.
CHASE
Then my Dad showed up.
JAZZ
So now I know him, too. I experienced them through you.
CHASE
In the house that never got finished. I pushed my Dad into bankruptcy. I destroyed my family.
JAZZ
You did not.
CHASE
If you’re going to be my soulmate you’ve seen the house of horrors where you have to live. Nobody could blame you for walking out.
JAZZ
Where would I walk to? Seriously. I thought the more worlds we saw the more paths – the more choices we would have, but the maze leads only two places – sickness and murder or – each other.
CHASE
But what if we resist?
JAZZ
Are we back to murder? A life for a life?
CHASE
Surely you see the appeal?
JAZZ
I think when you want to kill Corso it’s really your dad you want to kill.
CHASE
Wow! Free therapy! Bzzzt! No. My Dad I can get away from.
JAZZ
Apparently not.
CHASE
Once and done.
JAZZ
Finding crime scenes should not be inspiring us to create more of them.
CHASE
Why not, if everyone’s doing it?
JAZZ
Jails are full of defective reasoners.
CHASE
So I’m a defective reasoner, am I?
(JAZZsits beside him)
JAZZ
Seems like. I’m stuck with you and you’re stuck with me.
CHASE
But I don’t get it – if death doesn’t free you, what does?
JAZZ
Why couldn’t you tell me about her?
CHASE
I can’t even go there.
(long pause)
JAZZ
If you can’t go there I can’t see where there is to get to.
CHASE
Sexsomnia is like sleepwalking. They –
JAZZ
Would you stop it with trying to rationalize the irrational? It makes me feel so alone.
CHASE
(Holding her – she lets him)
We can’t have that.
(They start to kiss)
Maybe it hasn’t happened yet.
JAZZ
What part?
CHASE
The video Corso’s trying to create. If he hasn’t finished it, he hasn’t released it.
JAZZ
But what we did. It’s out there, alive, wandering the cloud.
CHASE
Maybe not.
JAZZ
I like this Chase better. So let’s get rid of it and warn the others.
CHASE
Are you sure they’ll care?
JAZZ
Someone will.
CHASE
They may prefer secrecy, or destruction. But people don’t believe without evidence.
JAZZ
Our suffering is the evidence.
(She pushes him away)
You wanted this to happen. You twisted my life into evidence for your crime scene. You used the rest of us as bait.
CHASE
I swear I had no idea he’d go this far. But if it’s real we’ve got to face up to it. Destroying the evidence doesn’t cancel our suffering.
JAZZ
Without the video, we don’t remember. If we pass it along, Corso wins – whoever we pass it to.
CHASE
It isn’t “gone” just because we can’t remember. Haven’t what we’ve been through shown us that? It becomes a negative hallucination.
JAZZ
I feel sure I don’t want to know what that is.
CHASE
It means is not seeing the obvious.
JAZZ
Forgetting is almost as good as innocence.
CHASE
That’s what Corso counted on.
JAZZ
Help me.
CHASE
I’m trying.
(the distance between them is growing. They reach out their arms to each other but it’s too late. CHASE fades into darkness)
SCENE XI – FARRELL RESIDENCE. (ZOYA, festively dressed excitable little woman with dyed hair teeters forward on high heels)
ZOYA
Stevie!
(She clutches CHASE, kissing him everywhere)
Oh Stevie, Stevie, I was so afraid you wouldn’t come.
CHASE
Miss your birthday? How could I possibly? And I brought a friend.
(JAZZ wavesnervously)
JAZZ
(Awkwardly extending plant)
Happy Birthday.
(Painfully obvious this is way too big a plant for this tiny person)
ZOYA
(Making no move to take it)
Oh, my. That looks so…interesting. Well come in, come in.
( JAZZ unloads plant on hall table, looking around, awed. ZOYA regards plant apprehensively.)
ZOYA
I suppose I’m ancient, dry and prickly just like this plant. Does it come with directions?
JAZZ
It’s a Christmas cactus. It’s going to have three blooms. See?
ZOYA
(Without enthusiasm)
Lovely.
(Clings to CHASE)
It’s so wonderful to see you!
(She squeezes him)
Look how tall you’ve gotten.
CHASE
(hugs her)
Good to see you, Mom. You’re looking well.
JAZZ
Sorry I’m not dressed for a party.
CHASE
Jazz had kind of a disaster. Somebody jumped out of her dorm room window.
(JAZZand CHASEexchange looks)
ZOYA
How terrible! Were they badly hurt?
CHASE
(With relish)
Killed, Mom. Dead.
(His mother backs away, looking at the pair of them)
ZOYA
Do they give you an automatic A and send you home?
CHASE
Urban legend, Mom. You’ve got to stop believing myths.
(His mother strikes him lightly on the arm)
ZOYA
I never know when you’re teasing.
CHASE
If Jazz could borrow something of Cyanne’s…?
ZOYA
(Recollecting she’s the hostess)
Of course, of course. Cyanne has way too many clothes. She’s always shopping. You look about the same size. She’d say yes but she’s away at college. She’s pledging my sorority. Quick drink before you freshen up?
(An expression almost of panic)
Because I’ve got to get back – back to the kitchen.
(Backs away as if dragged – exit)
CHASE
My Mom always bakes her own birthday cake.
JAZZ
Why didn’t you tell me your mother hates plants?
(Gestures)
All these plants are fake.
CHASE
Mom says growth’s a lot of work.
JAZZ
(Mimes looking at family photos on the walls)
That you as a baby?
CHASE
The very same. Aren’t I adorable? You can’t tell which is me and which is Cyanne.
JAZZ
You all look so happy.
CHASE
Appearances can be deceiving.
JAZZ
So your real name’s Stevie.
CHASE
Steven. Now that you know it, forget it. Just another thing that’s gone.
JAZZ
You could have told me.
CHASE
Who knew we’d end up here? I’ve never been good at telling people things. The vortex assumed control.
CHASE You’re scared to leave because Bex is out there.
JAZZ That’s not it. I’m here because I want to be. I can handle Bex. His pride is hurt but he’s basically lazy. I don’t matter that much to him. He spent all our time together trying to convince me I was worthless and making him look bad.
CHASE Sounds like my dad. Except I really was all he had. His only son.
JAZZ You’re not responsible for him. Bex wanted me to believe that I was stuck with him, but he wasn’t stuck with me, that I owed him a debt that kept mysteriously increasing.
CHASE Ouch. I need a shower. Want to come?
JAZZ Oh, no you don’t! We’re not finished yet! Why come after Corso? Why pick this college?
CHASE You really want me to roll in it, don’t you? Can’t you just be a good soulmate and fill in the blanks?
JAZZ Total honesty. Full disclosure. Tell each other everything, don’t you agree?
CHASE Maybe.
JAZZ So when Bex bothers me you want me keeping it secret?
CHASE Hell no! Point taken. (forcing himself to reminisce) I just couldn’t get it out of my mind that nothing bad happened to Corso. No jail time! No publicity. No fines even. They made him promise not to work with children, but he’d graduated to teenagers by that time anyway. I gradually realized the money was to control me, so I wouldn’t tell the police. Blood money. What a bad deal that was. He wasn’t controlled! Rewarded, if anything. I might as well have been protecting him. When I looked him up – there he is running “perceptual studies” at a prestigious college! That sound like “punishment” to you?
JAZZ That would be punishment for me, but I get what you mean.
CHASE So I decided to kill him. It’s the only way. I mean, Corso’s a monster, right? And he’s only getting worse. I grew up, I bulked up, I legally changed my name, I disguised myself every way I could think of. I mean, he hadn’t seen me since I was a squeaky-voiced platinum haired tot of thirteen.
JAZZ But let me guess. He recognized you right away.
CHASE He just assumed I couldn’t live without him. I was there to bring him souls!
JAZZ You confronted him?
CHASE He says the university knows all about his “spot of bother.” There’s no official record. To hear him tell it, we were co-victims!
JAZZ Co-victims!
CHASE Yeah. Of religion. Of repression. Of the fifties, of his parents – you name it. But he’s fine now. Happily married, to a nice older lady who just happens to be rich! He’s “freed” himself, see, from his horrible past and he just wants to liberate everybody else.
JAZZ What a bastard.
CHASE So either I get the goods on him or I kill him. There aren’t other options. If that makes me a monster, then, that’s what I’ll be.
JAZZ Hard luck on me, having a monster for a soulmate. What did I do to deserve this?
CHASE Clearly you attract monsters.
JAZZ You sell us both short. If you wanted to be a monster, you would be one already. You’ve been here four years!
CHASE I got distracted. College is interesting – wrestling, debate club, research, biofeedback… Suddenly I found myself in a much bigger world. But whatever avenue I went down… he was always there ahead of me. Like, he’s the creator of everything and I’m just his mutant, the cuckoo on his clock. I want a world without Corso, a universe to call my own, but… he’s polluted everything.
JAZZ So he still holds you hostage.
CHASE He’s inside me. He’s like, taken over the inside of me. Robbed me of my self. I always seem to know exactly what he’ll do, or say, so in some sick way it’s me doing it. There’s no “me” any more, as long as he’s alive. My only hope is to off him.
JAZZ That’s stinking thinking. If you kill him, he still wins. You’d be linked to him forever. I refuse to lose a perfectly good soulmate. You’re nothing like Corso. He’s soulless and that’s why he collects souls. You’re real. Without a self, how could you have a soulmate? Knowing him just makes him easier to trap. If we’ve learned anything, it is that he’s up to no good. He’s a predator- parasite. We’ve got to keep that straight. Trust?
CHASE If only I could believe in souls. I don’t feel indestructible. I’m staying alive by the force of my resistance.
JAZZ You woke me.
CHASE That’s what we have in common. You resisted Bex.
JAZZ I’ll say! He worked so hard to keep me down. We recognized each other. We’re the same. (passionately kiss)
CHASE It’s only our worlds that keep changing.
JAZZ It’s love.
CHASE And we keep falling into it. “Falling” seems more than a metaphor.
JAZZ If we’re in the middle of something extraordinary, we’ve got to stop looking with ordinary eyes.
CHASE But everything’s corpses. Corso threatens life itself.
JAZZ Murderers do tend to round up the refugees.
CHASE He’s poisoning us. The question is whether it’s terminal. I wish I knew what was in that stuff he gave us.
JAZZ Who cares what he gave us? He wants you to think he’s some scientific mastermind wielding a secret weapon. We’re the ones with the secret weapon.
CHASE Some amnesiac, like scopolamine or propanolol. Without memory, he assumes we lose identity. But stress-based experiences are processed like dreams – we keep having flashbacks.
JAZZ And flash-forwards. But we all formed new memories – some of them pretty crazy I admit – but others right on target. Look at Soliz falling through my window, Zane at the toxic dump, Koo with her body-bags. Something happened to us and he doesn’t want us to find out what. Bex wants me thinking he’s all powerful and everywhere so I’ll feel weak and helpless and give up, and Corso’s exactly the same. You must have gotten close –that’s why he fired you.
CHASE He didn’t reckon with us happening.
JAZZ We have a superpower!
CHASE I’m scared the universe is setting us up, just to knock us back down.
JAZZ But the universe loves creators, and lovers are the ultimate creators.
CHASE Creation takes so long and destruction lasts forever.
JAZZ Doesn’t the green growth keep coming up?
CHASE Death is inevitable. It’s life that’s the surprise. In wrestling your attacker takes himself down. We need to find Corso’s weak spot –
JAZZ He’s not immortal, is he?
CHASE God, I hope not.
JAZZ I mean, if he keeps swelling up with everybody else’s souls he’s going to explode. The universe will take care of Corso.
They’re not letting anyone in. Do you know who lives in Room 824?
JAZZ
Actually, I live there.
SOLIZ
Oh, you do, do you? Well, some guy fell out your window.
JAZZ
Just like your dream!
SOLIZ
(threateningly)
I don’t know what you’re talking about.
CHASE
Some guy? Who?
SOLIZ
Unidentified. You can’t see him, he’s under a tent.
CHASE
Can’t Jazz collect her stuff?
SOLIZ
Come back later. It’s chaos over there.
(SOLIZfrees them from tape; JAZZandCHASElurch off downstage)
JAZZ
This is Soliz’s dream. I remember if she doesn’t.
CHASE
Except this was a guy.
JAZZ
Let’s hope it was Bex.
CHASE
So now you’re pro-violence?
JAZZ
Who’s saying I pushed him? It would be so unlike me.
CHASE
So, no going home for you.
JAZZ
Hadleigh was never my home.
CHASE
Well, you can camp out at my place while we figure out what to do with this new corpse.
JAZZ
Makes me harder for Bex to find. On the other hand when he does, he’ll just get madder.
CHASE
We’ve got enough problems without worrying about satisfying his unsatisfiable psyche. We’ve got three dead bodies!
JAZZ
And God knows how many crime scenes. Explain exactly why soulmating requires detective work?
CHASE
Maybe nature is one big crime scene. Red of tooth and claw.
JAZZ
You and your classical education.
CHASE
Voilã! Here we are at my place.
SCENE VIII – Lights go up on CHASE’S APT – disheveled male bedroom/kitchenette
JAZZ
This is definitely a crime scene.
(Throws herself into a low-slung chair)
CHASE
(Sitting close)
You expected harp music? Hey, you admitted your life was a crime scene too.
JAZZ
I guess I thought the point of soulmates is all the hard work would be magically be done.
CHASE
So no going over the past trying to understand and explain the mess? Wouldn’t that be nice!
JAZZ
Why can’t we just escape the mess? The mess would no longer matter. We could rise above the mess.
CHASE
Your fantasy forgets about the demons. If we’ve unleashed demons –
JAZZ
Who’s to say we unleashed them? I’m not responsible for Bex.
CHASE
Yet he’s out there, rampaging. At least I know I’m responsible for Corso.
JAZZ
But Corso’s using your involvement to keep his rampage going. Oh. Touché. I see what you mean.
CHASE
We’re dissociating. Living each other’s nightmares.
JAZZ
At least we’re braving hell together.
(they touch hands)
CHASE
If it’s purgatory, graduation’s a possibility.
JAZZ
We’re on a multiple universe scavenger hunt!
CHASE
A time and space jigsaw puzzle!
JAZZ
We need to get to the crime scene before the crime happens.
CHASE
How would we know it was a crime scene?
JAZZ
Tell me what you know. What Corso did to you.
CHASE
God! You know I don’t want to talk about it.
JAZZ
What specifically are you afraid will happen if you talk about it?
CHASE
That this whole thing would shatter right in front of me. I would wreck – whatever this is happening between us.
JAZZ
Maybe we’re meant to reveal, not repair, each other’s real selves.
CHASE
Let’s talk about your fears and malfeasance. That’s more fun for me.
JAZZ
Somebody increased power by sucking out ours. We’re going to reclaim it. Tell your soulmate what Dr. Corso did to you.
CHASE
If you know, aren’t you ruined too? How can I stay with someone who knows this disgusting thing about me?
JAZZ
I guess we’ll just have to see. We need to free ourselves to be with each other.
CHASE
But there’s the difference, right there – you left Bex, I pursued Corso. I came after him.
JAZZ
You are so competitive. If you need to be “worst”, prove it.
CHASE
He was a teacher at my choir school. Latin, of all things. We spent an eternity on the Aeneid. God, I hate talking about this. I haven’t talked about it since I was fifteen, with the lawyers and judges.
JAZZ
He molested you?
CHASE
Between my ninth and thirteenth years. He had a way of making us compete to be “the favorite”. If you could just get on that easy street, life became golden. Finally I saw what a prisoner I was. Mustered up the courage to get the hell out of there.
JAZZ
Jesus.
CHASE
Great pillow talk, huh? And that’s not the worst of it.
JAZZ
How could it get worse?
CHASE
I brought him other boys. Whatever he wanted.
JAZZ
You were a kid. None of this could possibly be your fault.
CHASE
Yet here I am. Still a slave.
JAZZ
But you found your soulmate.
(They hug)
How did it end?
CHASE
It hasn’tended. I mean, the sex thing ended when Corso met my sister – my twin sister – and decided he was ready to branch out. He was like, deliver her or else. That woke me up. I went home and refused to go back to school. I finally told my parents.
JAZZ
And?
CHASE
They pretty much behaved the worst they possibly could. First, they didn’t believe me. My dad has always been a total bastard making fun of me for singing in a high voice and wearing a lace collar and Mom was sort of a “the church can do no wrong” nut. You know, like, who are you going to believe, a priest or your own lying eyes? They just couldn’t take it in. Butthena kid at school hanged himself and things started to snowball. Corso got kicked out. People started suing. My dad smelled a payday. The other families accepted settlements not to squeal. Everybody settled except my father. He was holding out for the Big Money that was going to make all his dreams come true.
JAZZ
Then what?
CHASE
What always happens with my Dad. He was having such a good time holding the whip, he waited too long. The minute I turned sixteen, I got legally emancipated. I could prove that Dad was hitting me – I had the sense to record him – so the judge refused to give Dad the cash. Dad declared bankruptcy and I finished high school on my own. Living at the Y.
(Restless pacing)
So on top of everything else, I’m singlehandedly responsible for the destruction of my family.
JAZZ
Scapegoating. People need someone to blame, it’s another form of hostage-taking. This isn’t your fault. Time to forgive yourself.
Here’s more fodder for my theory that reality is totally submerged – it’s never what you think you see.
JAZZ
Sounds deep.
(CHASE plays with his phone, paws through lists, makes a choice, phone to ear)
CHASE
Uh oh.
JAZZ
What gives?
CHASE
Howk’s work phone at the Health Center is disconnected.
(Paws through more lists, tries another number)
And her voicemail is full. I’m listening to it now.
JAZZ
You’re listening to her voicemail?
CHASE
Default pincode. Most employees never change it. Sounds like she didn’t show up Friday and they can’t get hold of her.
JAZZ
That’s not good. Any calls from Corso?
CHASE
Not one. And that’s not good either. Let’s try something else.
(Fingers phone)
She lives at Punch Drunk Apartments. Punch Brook’s it’s name but Punch Drunk’s more appropriate to the lowly adjuncts.
JAZZ
Poor Howk.
CHASE
Not answer there either.
(Stands up)
It’s a five minute walk.
(They walk to the edge of the stage. BEX darts out, snaps a picture of them)
JAZZ
Kiss me, quick.
(Throws herself into CHASE’s arms for a long smooch. BEX exits.)
SCENE VI – HOWK’s APARTMENT
CHASE
How’d you do that?
JAZZ
Giving Bex material for his revenge porn site.
CHASE
Not what I mean. How’d we get here so fast?
JAZZ
You said it was a short walk.
CHASE
Not that short. You kissed me.
JAZZ
You liked it.
CHASE
You triggered a flashback. Maybe we’re dreaming. Maybe we’ve fallen into some weird wormhole vortex thing.
JAZZ
Ugh. Just one more crime scene. What happened here?
(She pushes a door, it falls down)
Is this even true?
CHASE
Maybe it’s meta-truth. Super-truth.
(Furniture thrown around, plants and upholstery dismembered)
Somebody had fun.
JAZZ
Why’s the multiverse such a nasty place? And what’s all this pink stuff?
CHASE
Looks like insulation. Somebody searching for something.
JAZZ
Well, they must have found it. The bedroom’s untouched.
CHASE
I don’t believe it. There’s no body?
JAZZ
I didn’t see one.
CHASE
Did you look under the bed?
JAZZ
You look under the bed! I’m opening this closet!
(Disgusting corpse falls out, suspended mid-air)
Aaargh!
CHASE
That’s Howk all right. She looks – drowned. And her skin’s all eaten off with some kind of acid.
JAZZ
I’m getting out of here. Everywhere we go is death.
CHASE
Smells like Corso. That’s Corso’s M.O. Find out what’s alive and kill it. He stinks of sulfur. My guess is he was searching for whatever she held over him. Better get the drop on him before he comes after us.
JAZZ
Maybe that sex tape?
CHASE
But that’s over at his place.
JAZZ
Maybe we’re going backwards and forwards in time. A U-turn in the multiverse.
CHASE
Maybe he killed Howk and hid her body. Remember Zane’s dream?
JAZZ
The abandoned warehouse? The toxic condemned site?
CHASE
Perfect place to stash a corpse. People are afraid to enter. Very Corso.
JAZZ
OK you solved this one. God, you’re competitive.
CHASE
History is moving us forward. It has to.
JAZZ
This just isn’t what the Tibetan monks promised me. The moment we considered love, death was everywhere.
CHASE
I prefer Dante. Dante’s my guide. He says you go through hell to get to heaven.
JAZZ
Dante! Weird subject for psych majors!
CHASE
There’s a lot about me you don’t know. You need a firm grip on purgatory to understand law.
JAZZ
I think I’m coming down with something.
CHASE
You’re coming down with me. Kiss me.
JAZZ
(Fending him off)
What if I’m infectious?
CHASE
If you’re my soulmate I’m hoping you’re infectious. Maybe I could get back my soul.
JAZZ
Where’d it go?
CHASE
Taken hostage.
JAZZ
By –
(Their kiss triggers police car lights & sirens)
You’re right, I feel better.
CHASE
Sirens when we kiss – that’s a first for me.
(They kiss more)
JAZZ
Are they after us or our crime scene?
CHASE
We’re after them. Look where we are.
JAZZ
This is my dorm! Are you thinking what I’m thinking?
CHASE
Let’s kiss forever.
SCENE VII – Outside Hadleigh, FRESHMAN DORM
(Enter SOLIZ, dressed like a security guard, stringing crime scene tape)
SOLIZ
Hey! Watch your step! Respect my perimeter! O, hi guys.
(They can’t step away – tape impedes)
JAZZ
What the hell happened here?
SOLIZ
Nobody knows. Keep moving.
JAZZ
But this is my dorm! I live here!
SOLIZ
They’re not letting anyone in. Do you know who lives in Room 824?
JAZZ
Actually, I live there.
SOLIZ
Oh, you do, do you? Well, some guy fell out your window.
(CORSO doesn’t like CHASE and JAZZ’s new alliance. They walk toward steps while lights go down on DREAM LAB. CORSO exits huffily)
Scene V – Cafe
JAZZ
You owe me a sandwich for backing up your lie, you lying liar.
CHASE
Liar? I was just being a gentleman. Don’t kiss and tell.
JAZZ
Somehow I doubt your motives.
CHASE
Never give monsters bones to make their soup.
(He shepherds JAZZ up the steps to SCENEV – CAFÉ set: table and chairs are set up beneath Tiffany lamp upstage another table with two hunched unidentifiable figures in close conversation at distant table)
Any truth you give Corso, he’ll use it against you.
(Calls offstage)
Two specials! Meat on the side! And plenty of Joe.
JAZZ
What’s the special?
CHASE
Whatever it is, it’s the only thing they didn’t make yesterday. That’s why we call it “Chem Lab”. I take it you’ve never been here before? Vegan? Gluten-intolerant? I’ll eat anything you don’t.
JAZZ
I’m on meal plan. I’m currently omnivorous but I aspire to someday be selective. How about your aspirations?
CHASE
Aspirations are good. I’m pro-aspiration. At the moment, Iaspire to anonymity.
JAZZ
You failed anonymity in dream lab.
CHASE
I had a job to do. I did it.
JAZZ
Getting yourself kicked out?
CHASE
That was inevitable. I made it through one round, and I found out what kinds of dreams everybody’s having. Now we put it together, like a psychotic jigsaw puzzle.
JAZZ
Are you ever going to tell me why are you so pissed at Corso?
CHASE
Because he took something from me and he won’t give it back.
JAZZ
Maybe. What’d he take?
CHASE
My future.
JAZZ
Can he prevent you from graduating?
CHASE
If he makes me a killer. Corso needs to be putdown like a rabid dog. It’s a dirty job but someone’s got to do it.
JAZZ
Please don’t even joke like that. Nobody can take away your future without your cooperation. Go be a lawyer. You’d make such a great lawyer. You argue with everybody.
CHASE
So help me get evidence against him and I’ll let the cops take him off my hands.
JAZZ
You’re obsessed.
CHASE
I call it goal-oriented. Russian-Irish is a volatile mixture.
JAZZ
It’s tunnel vision. There we were, standing right at the edge of the soulmate multiverse and where do you want to go? Corso’s apartment! What is it with men and threesomes?
CHASE
You went to a morgue. So what do you know about the multiverse?
JAZZ
You should have done the reading! Retrocausation. Many Worlds theory. If the universe is infinite then every possible outcome must happen somewhere.
CHASE
So I kill Corso in some other world?
JAZZ
Haven’t you heard that if you look too long at a monster you become the monster?
CHASE
Too late.
JAZZ
Are you telling me that my soulmate is a monster?
CHASE
I’m starting to see why we belong together. You should segue out of pre-fashion into pre-law.
JAZZ
I’m allergic to violence. Violence is flirtation with losing control. It gives you nowhere to go.
CHASE
You referring to that big bruiser who’s stalking you?
JAZZ
Maybe. He represents my official knowledge of crazy. But now it’s over and I don’t have to talk about it.
CHASE
“Those who make a peaceful revolution impossible make violence inevitable.”
JAZZ
Oh, please. Your evidence hunt makes sense at least. Let’s do that instead. You get to find out about Corso and I get to find out about you. Where would you go first?
CHASE
Well, I want to go to his office but I’m afraid he’s in there. That nympho-slut Nurse Howk is probably his weak link.
JAZZ
Don’t slut-shame. She’s probably one of his victims.
CHASE
Naah. She’s a fully consenting sub-monster. Didn’t she try to ooze all over you?
JAZZ
She’s just living up to the archetype. It’s one of the signs of a victim.
CHASE
Meaning what?
JAZZ
Don’t you know what an archetype is?
CHASE
I’m a psychology major, I hope I know what an archetype is. I’m asking if you know what it is, and since I’m not getting any answers, I’m going to go see what’s keeping our food.
(Stands up, exits. Big, ugly, longhaired BEX looms up from darkness and pounds his hands on JAZZ’s table)
BEX
Is that the guy? That’s the weasel you’re dumping me for?
JAZZ
Bex! I told you to get gone.
BEX
I’m just trying to talk to you since you won’t talk to me.
JAZZ
(Tries to stand up but he’s pushing the table into her)
Bex it’s over! How many ways can I say it? Don’t you have a job to get back to?
BEX
And that player doesn’t? So now I’m not good enough for you? Is that it?
JAZZ
I don’t get what you’re making a big deal about – you’re the one that said we’d never be exclusive! Go find someone else to torture!
BEX
(Leaning in threateningly)
You’re not the boss of me.
(CHASEreturns with tray)
CHASE
This dude harassing you?
JAZZ
Just go, Bex. Go home.
BEX
Who’s gonna make me?
(Two figures stand up at the distant table and advance – it’sZANE and KOO)
ZANE
Having trouble here?
(BEX knows when he’s outnumbered and retreats)
BEX
(Shouting over his shoulder)
Better get ready! This means war!
(ZANEandCHASEhigh-five,ZANEreturns to his table –KOOputs ahand onJAZZ’s shoulder)
KOO
We’ve all been there.
(ExitKOOandZANE)
CHASE
(Comforting JAZZ whose head is in her hands)
Nice guy. I think I understand what you saw in him.
JAZZ
(Writhing with mortification, sits down, head on table)
I’m so sorry. What can I say? He’s a jerk, but pickings were slim.
CHASE
(Serving sandwiches and coffee)
Hey, everyone’s entitled to at least one monster. The good news is, today’s special is meatloaf.
(JAZZ inspects inside her sandwich)
JAZZ
I think I lost my appetite.
CHASE
More for me.
JAZZ
The coffee’s good. Say, Zane and Koo! Huh?
CHASE
I know, right? Think something’s – going on there? Traumatic bonding?
JAZZ
They didn’t say anything.
CHASE
We didn’t say anything.
JAZZ
It’s hard to say anything when you don’t know what’s going on,
CHASE
More fodder for my theory that reality is totally submerged – it’s never what you think you see.
I was walking down a concrete tunnel with metal ribs. It seemed to be shifting like it was alive. It was hard to keep my feet. I felt like maybe it was on a giant truck where they shift the room around to make you fall – like at Great Adventure. There was water on the floor that looked diseased so I tried to keep out of it but it kept splashing on me. I know I’m going to get sick just like my dad warned me. When I got to the end of the tunnel I was in an abandoned dump at the end of the world – signs everywhere saying things like, TOXIC WASTE and EXTREMELY HAZAROUS. The filled with gushing water and I couldn’t get back.
RAD
Abandon hope those who enter here.
(CORSOgives him a squelching look)
ZANE
Something horrible was stalking the dump. Every now and then it darted past. I think I saw fur? I’m scared of fur. It was BIG. I could hear breathing. Maybe a bear – but when it stepped near the light I saw it had scales that glittered. It was coming right after me, kind of loping, with its back legs higher than its front. In that second I realized I had created it – like it was the most terrible thing I could think of come to life. I just took off running. I knew I couldn’t outrun it – it had too many legs. I saw a chain-link fence, but I couldn’t get over that, so I went inside this shack to hide and maybe make a barricade. Most of all I was scared of anybody seeing what a coward I was – just another big talker who’s unable to cope. It was dark in there – and the floor was all torn up – I wanted to go back but – the thing was forcingme inside. It was peering in the windows so I ducked down, I stepped on a rotten board and pitched into the water. Toxic, disgusting water – smelled like sulfur – I could feel it poisoning me, rotting me, boiling me from the inside out. My skin was falling right off my bones. Then somebody said, “Wake up” and I woke up.
(CORSO looks bored and politely incredulous)
CORSO
Charming. Our research project becomes a video game.
ZANE
(Rubbing the inside of his leg)
I was never so glad to wake up. Man, I was really running. It felt like running in flip-flops. My adductors are killing me and my paraformus feels like a rubber band.
CORSO
(Dismissive)
Anything to be learned from this puerile meandering? Could it be that the concept of “flight” itself createsa concept of falling and the context of humiliation and pursuit? I certainly wish you were all more imaginative. I see I need YEARS of work with you children to exorcise these primitive fears. Nobody has time for that. Oh, well. Too late now. It is only in the course of the research that we discover how it should have been conducted.
CHASE
Flight creates pursuit? That’s a good one!
ZANE
But I had the strangest feeling like…like I was watching myself. Like I was both inside and outside me. Like maybe I was the animal too.
SOLIZ
And I was the crowd. I felt that too.
KOO
Me, too. I definitely did.
CORSO
(Silky-voiced)
Ah, lucid dreaming. At long last, something informative. Do share.
CHASE
You said I could go next.
CORSO
Research makes no promises, Mr. Quinn. Miss Loflin?
KOO
It was…so terrible. I need to get rid of it so I can forget.
` I was working in some kind of, mortuary. These body bags were coming at me down a conveyor belt and I had to unzip them and take out the body pieces. I was unzipping, unbuttoning, zipping and unzipping, but the bodies were so smashed I couldn’t even look at them. So disgusting — you couldn’t tell they ever had been people. I thought there was people and garbage and animal parts all smashed together to trick me. To make fun of me. Someone was laughing at my expense. And some of those bags contained the remains of multiple people – a mess nobody could reassemble – a mass of legs and arms and guts. I thought this was a horrible job and I remember thinking, “Nothing is worth this. I should leave college plead bankruptcy and go work at my dad’s dealership.” I wanted to throw up the whole time.
(Gagging)
But I also felt guilty for not helping them. The heads were alive and they looked at me so pleadingly. Then in one bag I found my boyfriend Bo. He was looked accusing – I couldn’t convince him he was DEAD and I was helpless. and I just KNEW he was going to tell everyone I was responsible. Just it was all my fault! I just zipped him back up. Zipped him right back up.
(Gulping water, half crying)
Then the next one was ME. I unzipped myself. I looking at my own body. I was dead and I was mangled, and I just hadn’t realized it.
(KOO’s gasping and sobbing)
I just – lost it. Take me – take me –
TAKE ME OUT OF HERE.
(SOLIZtries to comfort sobbingKOO.)
SOLIZ
So maybe Bo IS your soulmate and in your next dream you take him out of the bag –
KOO
I’m not going back there! No, no, no, no, no!
CORSO
Please, Miss D’Accosta, no sophomoric interpretations. Good guinea pigs stay out of each other’s heads.
JAZZ
Wouldn’t soulmates be in each other’s heads?
CHASE
Me, me, me! Is it my turn now?
CORSO
By all means, Mr. Quinn, since you’re so eager to share.
CHASE
(Very smug and bad-ass)
I flew all right. Right through the air. No pursuit, no humiliation, no falling – don’t I get an A? It was like being in a wind tunnel. I went to your apartment; Doc. Didn’t bother with the locks – sailed right in through the front door.
CORSO
If this was a true out-of-body or remote viewing experience you’ll have to tell us something you could only have seen today, something that wasn’t there when you helped me move in.
CHASE
(Making a show of deep thought)
Well, there were a lot of papers about a bankruptcy filing and restraining orders. Is that the sort of thing you mean? Shouldn’t we run right over and look? Oh, and there was a sex tape featuring you and Nurse Howk on your bed. Your bed had black sheets. She’s one smoky tomato, that girl. She has a piercing on her hoo-ha. Shouldn’t we call her in and investigate?
CORSO
Mr. Quinn, you are fired again! I knew you were a mistake! Off to the locker rooms with you. This minute. And don’t come back!
CHASE
(rises slowly, protesting)
Awwww... And I thought we were gonna be like so free.
CORSO
Every chance you are given, you destroy. I’m sure one of the alternates will be thrilled to assume your position.
CHASE
(Chucks him under the chin)
You can always find somebody to “assume the position” but you’ll never find anyone like me.
CORSO
(Swats his hand away)
Let’s hope not. Get out, now.
CHASE
Can’t I listen to the others? I swilled your damn koolaid.
CORSO
No. You are incorrigible and disruptive. You are leaving or I call security and this class is OVER.
CHASE
But I want to hear the others!
CORSO
(Upends recliner, dumping CHASE on the floor. Speaks into his earbud)
You should have thought of that sooner. Security!
CHASE
Oh all right. Jazz, I’ll be waiting for you to tell me what I missed.
(He exits slowly, hangs out behind the door.)
CORSO
I do apologize for that. That is one troubled youth. He is a thief, an impostor and a poseur. No good deed goes unpunished there, I assure you. His alternate will be more cooperative. Miss Suzino? Mr. Bliven? Chop-chop! No more stalling.
RAD
(Looking panicked.)
It’s Borden. And – I don’t remember anything.
(CORSOinspects him closely to see if he is lying)
CORSO
Hmmm. Come, come, Mr. whatever. The others have been brave. Your clothing is strangely disarranged.
SOLIZ
Aren’t your pants on backwards?
RAD
(Gulps, blushes painfully)
I know you’ll fire me and I don’t really want to leave but I just don’t remember. It’s just a blank.
CORSO
Fire you for amnesia? Hardly! I am much more likely to administer truth serum or attempt a little private hypnosis. Overcoming resistance is my raison d’être.
(Looks at his watch.)
We just don’t have the time. How about if I give you one more chance, next week?
RAD
Th – thanks.
(Is he relieved? Traumatized? Hard to tell.CORSOstretches out on CHASE’s abandoned futon, very relaxed, crosses his hands behind his head.)
CORSO
You are hardly a “still water”, Mr. Bli – er, Borden. Perhaps that is why I am more relieved than otherwise to find you run so deep. Miss Suzino? We are waiting.
(JAZZ’s face show she is desperately trying to think up a story. Coming up empty)
JAZZ
I was blind. At first I couldn’t see.
CORSO
(Sighs luxuriously)
Oh, Miss Suzino. Blindfold games! Who among us hasn’t played them? You always interest me so extremely! Pay attention, Mr. Bruden! This is how it’s done!
RAD
Borden.
CORSO
Simmer down, class. Let Miss Suzino speak. Poor little Jazz. When she enrolled in this experiment she’s all, “I can’t dream”
(mimics her voice unflatteringly)
Now it’s “I can’t see!” Whatever next? We’ll just have to do what we can to open your eyes.
JAZZ
I felt people rushing past me. I stumbled down steps into a basement. It smelled like dirt and death. Someone kicked me – I fell over a body. A dead body.
CORSO
More falling. This is a tragic class.
ZANE
Anything chasing you?
CORSO
Please, class, I’ll ask the questions.
JAZZ
There was blood.
SOLIZ
But the blood was yours. Sorry. Just saying.
CORSO
(Slams his notebook shut – rises)
Checks in your mailboxes the first of the week! See you all next Saturday! Remember – no talking about what goes on in dream lab!
Alysse Aallyn 