Woman Into Wolf: the play

Scene 4
(PERSEY turns out the light and the women exit. Firelight spreads across the room, lighting glittering eyes of the portrait – the eyes move, watching the women leave. DIGGER’s Dance with the WOLVES: Sniffs wolves suspiciously; they are wild and strange, he is home-raised and scared but envious of their freedom and “cool.” Threat & counter threat; posture & preening. Gradually DIGGER becomes wolf-like and runs with the pack. The moon appears and the WOLVES salute it. It lights PERSEY getting ready for bed. Above her BRUCE appears clinging to the skylight, peering down. WOLVES & DIGGER threaten and howl him away.)

Act 2 Scene 5
(The deepest forest. PERSEY, DIGGER and a police officer NED wandering listlessly around in the unscary, perfectly ordinary daylight. Scratchy background noises from NED’s radio)

PERSEY
There’s a skeleton
Around here somewhere, officer.

NED
(Skeptically)
That you saw late Midsummer Eve.

PERSEY
Are you even a detective?
I was promised “Cold Case” professionals!

NED
“Open Unsolved”.
I’m all that there is.

PERSEY
You sound defeated.
On the verge of retirement?

NED
Hell no, lady. Never.
Too many cold cases.
I’ll die in this job.

PERSEY
Sounds like a death wish.

NED
It’s a life wish.
I love my work.

PERSEY
Searching for … skeletons?

NED
Solving puzzles.
Perfecting antennae.
Following undercurrents
Right to their source.
(He kicks the leaves)
Where’d you unearth
This cadaver exactly?

PERSEY
It’s around here someplace.
It was Digger who found it.
(Kneels to talk to DIGGER)
Remember those bones, boy?
Go get ‘em, Digger!

(DIGGER scratches himself stupidly)

NED
Speaks English, that dog?

PERSEY
I know he speaks wolf.

NED
Wolf?

PERSEY
Wolves howl at him and
He howls right back.

NED
No wolves around here.

PERSEY
Coyotes, then.
Coywolves.
Something’s howling.
I’ve seen ‘em.

NED
Feral dogs more likely.
Tame goes wild more often
Than the other way round.

PERSEY
You’re argumentative.

NED
I respect facts
When assembling theory.
Dogs taste the outdoors
And they never go back.

PERSEY
Just like some people.
Go, Digger, go! Shoo!

(She pushes him. DIGGER ambles off)

You’re a puzzle fan?

NED
Yup. I’m addicted.

(Takes a Chinese link puzzle out of his pocket and plays with it)

I’m never without one.
Solve ‘em in my sleep.

PERSEY
So, what special skills
Do puzzle mavens require?

NED
Pattern recognition.
Patterns are everything;
The basis of speech
Building blocks of thought.

(As they look out over the audience, the TREES rearrange themselves and spit up a pink stiletto platform shoe, which DIGGER retrieves.)

NED
What you got there, boy?
(DIGGER dumps the shoe at his feet. NED holds it up for PERSEY’s inspection)

NED
This what you saw?

PERSEY
Definitely not.
Bones! Digger!
Skeleton!
Go get ’em boy!

(She mimes walking like a zombie while DIGGER watches her, bright-eyed.)

NED
You play charades with this dog?

PERSEY
He watches a lot of movies.

(DIGGER leaves them alone, ambling off to search. NED & PERSEY kick the leaves in awkward “first date” embarrassment. They are attracted to each other.)

NED
(Might be bragging – just a bit)
Wouldn’t be the first corpse
Located hereabouts.

PERSEY
No! How many were there?

NED
(With relish)
Multiple body dumps.
Arms, legs,
Torsos.
So many go missing.

PERSEY
Jarod was right!

NED
You don’t mean Jarod Gunver?

PERSEY
You know him?

NED
(Evasive: suddenly circumspect)
Well…he’s a cop.
So, I’ve seen him around.

PERSEY
Yeah, yeah, I get it.
Thin blue line.

NED
Very thin.

PERSEY
Power shields power.
I know all about it.
He’s my husband’s best friend.
Claims to be “expert” but
Usually wrong. He’s
Wrong about everything.
I’m surprised he spoke truth about
Forests of corpses.

NED
You don’t like him.

PERSEY
I don’t. Bad influence – rough crowd.

NED
He talks police business?

PERSEY
If he thinks he’s impressing!
That he’s smarter than anyone!
He collects slaves —
“Whoever Dies With the Most Souls Wins”
That’s his motto.
He’s got lots of followers –
Information’s his currency –
Bragging and scaring –
Trying to frighten –
“Don’t walk in the woods!”
He LOVES scaring women.

NED
(Being The Cop)
What did he tell you?

PERSEY
“Boy girls come to bad ends”.
He really hates anyone
Who isn’t his slave.
Roy envies his power –
I ignored him.
Till I found that skeleton.

NED
He’s out of line.
Information comes in
Not supposed to go out.

PERSEY
(Pointedly)
I suppose YOU’ve got no friends?

NED
Shoptalk is different.

PERSEY
Men always say that.

NED
Yeah. We are boring.

PERSEY
But investigation’s exciting!

NED
You find my work exciting?

PERSEY
I don’t know about puzzles
But I favor the truth
There’s the real power –
Knowing what happened.

NED
Just the facts, eh?

PERSEY
Who’s alive and who’s dead
Who’s a demon pretending –
Who’s a monster despoiling; only
Mimicking life.

NED
(He gets right to the point)
You think Jarod’s a demon?

PERSEY
I’m not willing to hang around him
Long enough to find out.

NED
Here’s what I know –
We’re all demonic
In our own special way.

PERSEY
Speak for yourself.

NED
If these woods shelter corpses
How come you’re still here?

PERSEY
‘Cause my demon’s inquisitive.
Trees can’t hurt you.
These woods are a temple –
A Most Sacred Place.
Stupid people think they’re nowhere
It’s the ultimate Somewhere.

(The TREES swell pridefully. DIGGER runs up with a silk pair of zebra-striped harem pants – rather the worse for wear – dangling from his jaws.)

PERSEY
Oh Digger!
You frustrating dog!

NED
(Snatches at the silk)
Could be evidence of … something.

PERSEY
Even trees have their secrets.

(Mockingly)

Maybe Jarod’s wife, Stormee
Dropped her pants in the woods.
Not the first time, I’m sure.

NED
(Places his find in an evidence bag)
Meow!
Jarod’s finished with Misty?

PERSEY
Over Misty.
Under Stormee.

NED
What’s the number of wives
Jarod is up to?
Never mustered more
Than two wives, myself.
I’m a single guy, now.

(But PERSEY has picked up a stick and DIGGER is falling all over himself hoping she’s going to throw it. She conceals it behind her back and points him into the woods – he races towards nothing – then stops in confusion.)

PERSEY
You know what I want!
Human! Person!

(She knocks against her head)

Skull. Go get it!

(DIGGER slinks away. PERSEY drops the stick and brushes the dirt off her hands)

PERSEY
Jarod sheds wives seasonally
Like the snake that he is.

NED
So what are you doing when
You’re not nature-ing?

PERSEY
Reading and thinking.
I sit on my deck and
Gaze into the trees.

NED
Sounds relaxing.
She’s a tree-worshiper, this one!

(The TREES nod, bow, sigh.)

PERSEY
Do your missing have names?

NED
Eh?

PERSEY
You said there’s so many.
Don’t these missing
Have names?

NED
Everyone has names.
Monikers, nicknames
Aliases
Given names, borrowed names
Street names –
Disguises; red herrings;
Wish fulfillment – everyone.

PERSEY
So many lost women!

NED
Didn’t say they were women.
Bi-curious, tri-curious
Foraging wanderers
Hitchhikers and travelers
Tourists and runaways
Just passing through.

PERSEY
Passing through HERE?

NED
Or somebody brought them.
Along for the ride.

PERSEY
Why does nobody know?

NED
“High risk victims”. It’s a way
Of saying nobody cares.

(PERSEY is stunned. A TREE opens up and shakes out a full skeleton. DIGGER staggers back – TREE hands DIGGER the skull.)

NED
Success at last!

(DIGGER leaves the skull at PERSEY’s feet and wags his tail. She drops instantly to hug and kiss him while he basks in her attentions)

PERSEY
(Lavishing DIGGER with love while NED looks bemused, even jealous)
I knew you could do it!
Smart dog! Who’s a puppy
As clever as beautiful?
Digger is! I’ll say!

NED
Wish I got that much attention
For finding a bone.

(Picking up the skull with the stick and turning it over reverently)

You should take that dog on the road.

PERSEY
Probably should.
He drives my mother-in-law crazy.

NED
Oh, a guard dog, too, is he?

(Rubs DIGGER’s belly. DIGGER wallows shamelessly.)

Now we need forensics, a search team of
Real sniffer dogs.

PERSEY
(Standing up and brushing dirt off her thighs)
REAL sniffer dogs?
That’s all the thanks that poor Digger gets?

NED
(Puts the skull down carefully, pats DIGGER’s head)
Good dog.

(DIGGER snaps at the skull up again – NED blocks him – PERSEY grabs the dog’s collar)

PERSEY
Come on, Digger!

(She leashes him.)

Let’s go home. Our work here is done.

NED
Sorry, no.
There’s papers to sign.

PERSEY
Paperwork, ugh!
Nothing doing.
My husband never likes me
Getting involved.

NED
But you are involved, now.
Aren’t you?

PERSEY
Can’t I be secret? A secret informant?
After all, who needs to know?
Maybe Jarod’s the killer!
I’ll tell all about Jarod.
Just keep ME a secret.

NED
Even informants have paperwork.
You think your husband’s best friend’s a killer?
There’s a dangerous liaison.

PERSEY
Do we have a deal?

NED
OK, I’ll bite.
I’ll tell them I found it.

PERSEY
Sure, you take the credit.
Digger prefers backrubs.

NED
What makes Jarod a killer?

PERSEY
He brags about killing.
About his “justified kills”
He’s cold and he’s fake
Looks for every advantage.
He likes people’s suffering.
He says he kills people
As part of his job.

NED
I heartily doubt it.
Undercover’s a whole different ethos
But word gets around.

PERSEY
The man lies like he breathes.

NED
Those guys specialize in
Put-ons and disguises.

PERSEY
How about you?

NED
I’m one lone wolf.

PERSEY
Drinkers and braggers
Find it hard to keep secrets.

(NED offers his hand – They shake – he likes touching her)

NED
I’m interested in all you can tell me.
We’ll have to work closely.

PERSEY
Solving puzzles –
Making theories! Sounds
Deliciously different. Now
I’d better skedaddle. I’m running late.

(DIGGER’s straining at the leash to be gone)

NED
I’ll keep in touch.

PERSEY
See you later.

(She waves. Leaves with DIGGER. The DEADGIRLS and BOYGIRLS morph from the trees, reaching out their leafy arms longingly. NED stares after her thoughtfully.)