Woman Into Wolf: the play

(NED the cop exits; having to push vines aside. DIGGER runs out between his legs to dance with his friends. PERSEY throws herself on sofa, dials phone. Cell phone rings on BISH making his way through audience. Ring tone is Strangers In Paradise.)

BISH
Persey! You’re just the person!

(He leans on an audience chair arm, settling down for a nice chat.)
What’s up?

PERSEY
You’ll never believe what happened!

BISH
I can’t wait to hear!
And I‘ve got news of my own. I…
Met some special someone.

PERSEY
Well, this is incredible!
We’ll have to celebrate!
That cop came here…
The cop I told you about…

BISH
Oh, the wordsmith?
Persey, don’t we want action?

PERSEY
He doesn’t think Roy’s brother
Really is dead!

BISH
Persey, how bizarre!

PERSEY
Turns out Bruce was a rapist
Who served four years in jail
Then he vanished.
But his fingerprints turned up
At my woodland crime scene!

BISH
Oooo PERSEY I’m shivering!
It’s so sick what you’re saying!

PERSEY
If BRUCE is alive…

(She hesitates with a shocking realization)

BISH
Persey! What?
Tell me.

PERSEY
Roy would kill him.
Remember that portrait?

(The Portrait lights up & participates, the little boys writhe like spirits in hell)

BISH
That you said he’d destroy?

PERSEY
He says he’s keeping it
To remind him that Bruce
Can never hurt him again.

BISH
Oooo Persey, your husband
Is so full of surprises.

PERSEY
Wait. I’m getting a call.
It’s Roy. Gotta go.
Talk about your crush next time?

BISH
Hard to compete with a family like yours.
My life was SO unexciting till I met
Mr. Right Now!

PERSEY
Bish! Hasta Manana!

(Lights off on BISH who perambulates along his way, Lights up on ROY and JAROD lounging together at the side of the theatre)

PERSEY
Hi, hon. What can I do for you?

ROY
Puddin’, Jarod and I need you
To check up on Stormee.
She was coming for lunch but
She never showed and her phone
Has gone dead.

PERSEY
Oh, Roy…

(Writhing – she just LOATHES STORMEE)

Can’t Jarod go look?

JAROD
(Taking the phone)
Sweetmeat, we’re stuck here.
Payin’ the bill. Gotta
Get back to work.
You’re close by. I’m … concerned.

(Wheedling)

Won’t you do this one little thing
For your favorite guys?

PERSEY
(Totally furious at hearing from JAROD)
Fine. Tell Roy I love him.

JAROD
Oh, we know, sugartits.
Believe me, we know.

(The men giggle conspiratorially and lean together. Lights off.)