Clinging Vine – Dependency:

If This Card Chooses You – You are suffering an entanglement. Do you secretly fear abandonment? Are you afraid of being alone? In Warrior Oracle, the Clinging Vine card reminds us of all of the unpleasant aspects of needing others’ constant support to function. A clinging vine can’t stand up by itself, it needs an immoveable shoulder to fasten upon. We Americans prefer to live by the fantasy of independence and self-determination. It’s just too threatening to imagine what might happen if the wall we’ve been covertly clinging to, suddenly comes down.

Warriors Require Freedom of Action – We are all dependent on society for basic functions. At what point does mutual dependency become constrictive? Clinging vines can’t stand up by themselves; they need an immoveable shoulder to cling to. Are you locked into a position of support for someone else?

Warriors Must Define Freedom in Their Relationships – Recognize and resist parasitic and exploitive relationships where the benefits are unbalanced. No need to over-react. Start drawing boundaries. Teaching the clinging vine to stand up for itself is doing it a favor.

No One Stands Alone – The truth is, we’re all in this together. Billionaires, leaders, CEO’s, all actually need much more support than we ordinaries. But they insist on maintaining freedom of action – for good reason. Don’t make destructive deals involving your future. Warriors need to Become and their futures are always a Mystery. We are responsive to the fluttering of butterfly wings as well as the shifting of tectonic plates. Divest of pointless, usually “inherited” shame (from the collective unconscious) and acknowledge the truth that humans are, for good and ill, social creatures.

Life Is a Negotiation– Make an experiment of listing your dependencies – bank, mail system, social security? Vehicle, gas availability, fuel affordability? Grocery stores, restaurants, our own two ambulatory feet? Weather, peace, law enforcement?

Recognize the fragility of these systems. Confronting fear creates ruthlessness but warriors never check their brains at the door. We are strategic, planning, evolving. Our maps will always need an update and a redesign.

Warrior Challenge – Are we hanging ourselves in loops of dependency? How can we free ourselves? What could we do to claim more psychic and physical independence? While Mormons may require a “year’s worth” of canned goods in the basement, the rest of us recognize the need for an emergency savings account. We are beginning to understand how a threatened supply chain can snap. Begin imagining some future failure scenarios and hash out the possibilities; if the elevator fail, is it possible to take the stairs? Your dream life will reward you with a lessening of existential anxiety.

Models & Mentors – “Don’t set yourself on fire to keep other people warm” – Alysse Aallyn

“Fear is the memory of pain. Addiction is the memory of pleasure. Freedom is beyond both.” – Anonymous

“Don’t work harder on someone else’s problems than they do” – Ross Rosenberg

“Enjoy togetherness but allow space. Respect differing beliefs. Accept, don’t try to change each other. Appreciate the other, but always be prepared to survive alone” – Darlene Lancer

#Haiku: Dis – Ability

Limitations dissolve
Hand in hand we
Surmount
Mental boundaries