Alysse Aallyn

Author: alysse

  • Wild With Possibility: the teen years of Alysse Aallyn

    Wed. Jun 10 – 64


    A great summer is ahead! I’m excited – home life’s been getting pretty tough. Can’t say whether that’s my fault or not. I have many ideas on the subject – you will probably be forced to hear them later. Mom tells me I am too independent; that I am constantly trying to be an island unto myself.

    Camp Stark is a YMCA camp. They call it Camp Tarantula because of the Amenities (more like Eumenides. Greek.) This camp attempts to Instill Christian Character.  I don’t know how much Christian Character I already have – it all seems to be ebbing away.  At the end of the summer I may have even less. But it sounds like a lovely place to go.  Shastain, MI meets my requirement of Not Being In Ohio. We heard about it through the Imries.  My mouth started to water when I heard at Horsemanship Division you work with your own horse!  Do you impart Christian Character to them or do they impart Horse Character to you? I can but wonder; unfortunately I first have to go through Freshman Division. I was on the waiting list – it was only a week ago that I was told I was in if want an all-girl Trailblazer trip back East! !!  My friend Andrea is going, too!  She is fun but thinks boys were made to be taken advantage of.  Her trip to camp is not for a good reason – her two brothers were killed in a motorcycle accident (drunk driver.)  Now it’s just her and her parents and apparently they need to be alone. 

What with buying and packing and marking my days are just filled up!!!

Thurs. Jun 11 – 64
I knew sooner or later I’d have to acquaint you with family problems. Poor diary. My reputation around here is Slovenly Loaf who has never done a day’s work in her life. Most of the time I creep around the walls trying not to be seen but yesterday I swept the porch and washed twenty-eight screens – I call that hard work for a summer day when all my friends are at the pool. But I don’t get any thanks, it’s all “Poor you.” So why try? Today I’m supposed to clean the house!  I hope they don’t come in here to check on me!

Maybe mother can’t understand me but I understand her.  And I forgive her.  I will permit myself only to see the kindness that is there.  Remind me to read this when I become angry and tearful. Daddy’s in the hospital with an infected kidney but it’s not serious. 

John Bookover invited me to the dance tonight!  I don’t know why since he thinks Mary Ann Murphy likes him (she denies it.) It certainly is great to be a girl!  The town dances are at the Fisher Food Pkg Lot!  “Dancing in the Streets” blasts from a truck and all the teenagers come!  I’m finding Mark a lot easier to forget than I thought. John is very skinny but he is willing to dance fast which is rare. All the boys want to dance as slow as possibly.  A dance would look like a wake if it was up to them.

Sun. Jun 14 - 64
Bookie (everyone calls John Bookie)  invited me & Andrea out at night to join him & Chase.  Andrea and I wore jeans and our father’s white shirts.  Andrea told Genevieve which I knew was a mistake (she is very righteous) and we only got as far as the garage. “Tell your friends goodnight” said Mom through her teeth. Alysse the juvenile delinquent!  Oh well! I don’t like foursies anyway. (Double dates.) Date to play tennis instead. Bookie definitely doesn’t care for me as much as I care for him.

Thurs. Jun 18 – 64
You have to forgive my writing – it’s hard to write on a jiggling bus!  I snuck out one more time before I left. Andrea and Chase threw candy at my window – Bookie was easier to rouse because he sleeps on his porch. Andrea’s parents were already gone so she opened their liquor cabinet and Chase got drunk. (He is a problem.  He steals things from cars.  I think this is why he was kicked out of Eastern. ) Bookie and I didn’t have anything – we just wanted to slow dance. We kissed!  He promised he will write! Andrea and Chase were making out like mad but Bookie walked me home. 4:30 AM! 

Up at quarter to seven – too late to have breakfast – off to Toledo!  We are getting to know everyone on the Trailblazers bus. I am working on a Trailblazers song to the tune of “Oh It Was Sad When the Great Ship Went Down”. 

Stu & Shavonne are the leaders. They are nice – especially Stu. He wanted a few kids who could speak French and Andrea volunteered me!  Let’s hope I can understand enough to manage.
I slept all morning; we stopped at 1 to each lunch (tinned food) in a motel parking lot.  Maybe I can lose some poundage.  Looked at a map and selected a park to stay in, (Gettysburg) in Pennsylvania. We slept in sleeping bags on the ground! It was hard as cement. I slept in my cute pink nightshirt. Walking around the park all day looking at monuments.  Every now and then you get a whiff of history. Names like “Valley of Death” and “Bloody Run.” Stu posed us dying over  a fence for a picture!

Left Gettysburg driving too fast, the trailer broke free and we had to go to town to get a part.  We need to travel tonight to get to the World’s Fair on Saturday.

Fri Jun 19 – 64
I’ve decided to work on a third person account of my life. (Everybody wonders why I am writing all the time.) Look at myself from the outside in.  Obviously I have to change all the names – for me, chose the name Melantha Clenn. The title is “Dark Flower” which is what Melantha means.  Whew! That was enough work for one day!  My poor brain is exhausted! 

 Last night we reached Valley Forge very late and decided to sleep there.  There was nowhere to camp but thought it would not be too much to sleep by the side of the road.  We no sooner had out sleeping bags out then up comes a fuzz car!  (Stu referred to him later as Officer Remedial.)  No amount of pleading would work; he ordered us to “follow” him.  I guess he thought he was on Dragnet or something.  We weren’t even told where we were going!  Straight to the Valley Forge Police Station! Shavonne and Stu were led inside and the rest of us just sat there arguing about whether our camp counselors would be arrested for contributing to the delinquency of minors! 
But when they came out they said we would be allowed to sleep on some rocks behind the fire station!
I do miss Bookie but for some reason think mostly of Mark!  I’ll send him a postcard from Gettysburg: North Carolina memorial is a good one.

Sun Jun 21 – 64 – YMCA Camp in Poughkeepsie, New York
Can’t believe we’ve been on this trip four days only! For such a motley crew of sixteen girls and two counselors we are very compatible.  Two of the girls are childish which I actually don’t like. 

Shavonne is a sweet person. She is plain though with a very bad figure. She is certainly not distracting Stu from thinking about his girlfriend who he says we will all meet!  Shavonne is reading The Agony and the Ecstasy, says its very good and will lend it to me when she’s finished. (It’s a big fat book and she seems to read only 4 pages at a time! She was impressed that I’ve seen the Sistine Chapel.)

    Michelangelo says: “the promises of this world are phantoms and to have faith in oneself and become something of worth and value is the best and safest course”.


    Stu is broadminded – I think Daddy would approve. But he does have fits of anger and bursts of gloom. He’s a Catholic and says we should all get a chance to attend mass! I found the sermon interesting and the hymns beautiful but the Latin is annoying. Andrea and I left early because we had signed up for horseback riding at eleven thirty and when we returned for lunch Stu was furious! Said we were rude! We offered to be waitresses to get back into his good graces.
    Andrea and I have a room to ourselves in the South Barn. Boys in the North Barn!


    The World’s Fair is no Disneyland but it was interesting. Andrea and I pretended to be French! I got an ID bracelet with a big A on it. (I got another for Avril’s birthday.) I love it and I never take it off. Andrea and I saw Peter and Gordon who were performing – all the girls screamed and we screamed right along with them. I hadn’t heard of them before but I like their Willow song. Also the Eggheads and the Esquires. We were separated from the performers by a pool and a lot of kids jumped in! Andrea and I danced instead while 3 men filmed us with movie cameras! The only performer whose autograph we got was Danny Taylor. He was very nice, says he’s been doing this since he was 13.

  • Woman Into Wolf: the play

    Scene 11 – the last scene
    (The deep, deep forest. The trees seem extra magical and alive, leaves blinking with a million glittering eyes.)


    PERSEY
    Have the woods always been this magical?
    Or is it only now that my eyes are opened?


    BISH’s voice
    Persey…Persey.


    (He sounds different…unearthly. DIGGER manifests craven fear)


    PERSEY
    Oh, Bish! Where are you?


    (BISH appears, his white clothing glowing – arms held out)


    BISH
    Don’t touch me. I’m still on fire.


    PERSEY
    (Staggers back, DIGGER hiding behind her)
    What is it. Bish? Why can’t I hug you?
    Are you radioactive?


    BISH
    In a way. I am dead.


    PERSEY
    (Crying)
    Oh, Bish, please don’t tease me,
    I’ve been through hell.


    (She charges him, he eludes her easily)


    BISH
    So have we all.


    (PERSEY falls to her knees)


    PERSEY
    Oh, Bish! What’s going on?
    What has happened?


    (Slowly the WOLF SPIRITS, DEADGIRLS, BOYGIRLS come out of the trees, glowing with beauty. They crown BISH with a wolf’s head and bow to him. Solemn dance around the pair; DIGGER, transported, joins in.)


    BISH
    I didn’t understand.
    I offered love, but he needed death.
    That’s not a game I ever played.
    When he told me to kill myself I thought
    He was joking. But then –


    PERSEY
    They revel in sacrifice.
    They always planned
    To pin blame on you.
    It’s a death cult, Bish.
    Their murder is everywhere.

    BISH
    That’s all behind me.
    I’m a Wolf Spirit now.
    (He howls, then raises PERSEY to her feet)


    BISH
    And so are you, I can see.
    (She looks down amazed at her own transformation)


    PERSEY
    But I’m still alive, Bish. And you feel so cold.


    BISH
    It’s your choice, Persey.
    You can come or you can stay.
    If we touch, we can dance!
    (He starts to dance – he is elegant – she is awkward.)


    PERSEY
    Oh, Bish, don’t ever let go!


    BISH
    But I must, Persey.
    I’m past sorrow but you’re still unfinished.
    Stay. Stay and be wolved.


    PERSEY
    I don’t know what to do. All I know is
    I’ll never let the monsters win.

    (BISH dances with the WOLF SPIRITS. ROY’s and JAROD’s voices offstage calling,)


    ROY & JAROD
    PERSEY! PERSEY!
    WHERE ARE YOU?


    (The WOLF SPIRITS & BISH melt into the trees, the trees go dead. Enter ROY carrying a shotgun. DIGGER cowers behind PERSEY)


    ROY
    Sweetmeat! Finally!


    (Shouts behind him)


    I found her!


    (ROY makes a move to embrace her – she eludes him as BISH eluded her.)


    ROY
    Sweetmeat, what’s wrong?
    You should never leave home.
    The world’s not a safe place.


    (PERSEY holds up her arms to block him. He appreciates her difference.)


    What’s wrong with you?
    Don’t say you’ve gone native.


    PERSEY
    Don’t you remember?


    ROY
    Sweetmeat, everyone gets drunk.
    Jarod and I are so close
    We’re practically brothers.
    You know we share everything.
    Closer than any man can be
    To a woman. But
    There’s a part for you to play, a whole
    Future ahead. Don’t you get it?


    PERSEY
    I do get it.
    Your mom told me everything – that
    You’ve always been Bruce.


    ROY
    That bitch!


    PERSEY
    Did you murder Stormee?
    Is that what you “shared”?
    (JAROD appears behind ROY, also carrying a shotgun.)


    JAROD
    We’re hunters, darlin’.
    That’s what we do. Rid the world of its
    Vermin. Bitches know their places.
    Bros before hos.


    ROY
    (Upset over PERSEY’s disclosure)
    Babe’s a liar, that woman!
    You can’t believe her! I oughta –


    (WOLVES appear, howl wildly and advance menacingly. DIGGER joins in. JAROD & ROY jump.)


    PERSEY
    It’s over, Roy. Don’t you see?
    The universe is against you.
    Truth is the one thing
    You’ll never destroy.
    Truth goes underground.
    Where the roots of the forest
    Nourish the faithful and
    Keep growing stronger.


    ROY
    Nobody’s faithful.
    I see females and she-males
    Who can’t keep their mouths shut.


    JAROD
    Open mouths only say yes.


    PERSEY
    You’re lost, boys
    This time you’ve ventured
    Too deep in the woods.
    This is OUR turf now!
    Cookie Louise, Monica and Jean,
    Jo Lee, Mina, “DaToy”, Jane and John Doe
    I summon you!


    ROY
    What’s that? Who’s that
    Ya callin’?


    PERSEY
    Did you think you destroyed them?
    You only transformed them.


    (The TREES awaken. WOLFSPIRITS, DEADGIRLS & BOYGIRLS appear and advance menacingly.)


    DEADGIRLS & BOYGIRLS
    The chrysalis is broken! We will
    Always remember.


    TREE SPIRITS & WOLF SPIRITS
    Who shattered the chrysalis?


    ROY
    (To PERSEY)
    I’ll deal with you later.
    Let’s slaughter this pack!

    JAROD
    Wolf! Wolf! Wolf!


    (A Murder Ballet, in which TREE SPIRITS, DEADGIRLS & BOYGIRLS, WOLF SPIRITS, BISH, PERSEY, JAROD, ROY and DIGGER rush teasingly in and out, nipping, spinning. Ineffectual shots from the frustrated hunters.)


    DEADGIRLS & BOYGIRLS
    When you murdered us, you killed your own selves.


    TREE SPIRITS & WOLF SPIRITS
    We all are one! We remember!


    (ROY & JAROD form a circular firing squad and shoot each other – registering shock & dismay at the bloodied moment of collapse. PERSEY sits vigil over the bodies while the WOLF SPIRITS, TREE SPIRITS, DEADGIRLS & BOYGIRLS take a gentle, longing, loving leave.)


    PERSEY
    So much waste.
    So much lost.
    Goodbye, Roy. Goodbye Bruce.


    BISH
    I wish you’d come with us.
    Where glorious sunset meets
    Unending dawn,
    We run forever.
    When the chrysalis shatters
    The earth remembers and
    New creatures are born.

    PERSEY
    I love life, Bish.
    I’m not ready.
    There’s so much unfinished and
    I’ve got things to do. But
    Grant me one wish.


    BISH
    (Disappearing into the trees)
    I know what you’re asking
    If you saw what I see
    You’d live every second
    Without fear.


    PERSEY
    (His echo fades. She holds out her arms to his dissolving spirit)
    Wolve me! Wolve me!
    I want to live!


    (DIGGER whines, very unwilling to let the WOLVES go.)


    PERSEY
    You can join them, Digger.
    You have been wolved.
    You’ll always be free.


    (DIGGER rushes back to her. She pets him.)


    And I love you too.

    (Flashing police lights. NED appears at the edge of the stage in his police uniform, speaking into a hand-held radio.)


    NED
    Two males, unresponsive
    Shotgun wounds fatal
    Face and chest discharge –
    Maximum injury, all
    Self-inflicted;
    Backup, backup
    GPS coordinates –


    (His voice overwhelmed by static. Lights out.)


    END

  • Woman Into Wolf: the play

    (Scene 10 – The Deep Woods. DIGGER dragging, carrying, lifting PERSEY’s unconscious body into the trees. He stands guard, howling dramatically. The WOLF SPIRITS appear, nose her, cherish her, lift her, clean her with leaves. They dress her in a wolf skin, prop her up, and dance with her. She slowly comes to life, dancing like a Maenad with leaves in her hair. The WOLF SPIRITS pull back and PERSEY’s house opens up stage left where BABE stands waiting to greet DIGGER & PERSEY)


    BABE
    Persey! What happened to you?
    (Looking disapprovingly at the litter of champagne bottles)
    This place is a mess!


    PERSEY
    Jarod happened to me. I’m changed forever.


    (Throws herself into a chair. DIGGER, thorns & thistles in his fur, settles down protectively beside her to clean his fur.)


    BABE
    (Kicking an empty champagne bottle)
    You’re too old for wild parties.
    Time to act like the mother
    Of my future grandkids!


    PERSEY
    I am nobody’s mother and
    I never will be, Babe. It’s over.
    Everything’s broken.
    Broken and lost.

    BABE
    (Shrieking)
    Here’s the thanks I get for
    Giving you everything!
    I’m a sick woman!
    And you’re the one killing me!


    (DIGGER leaps to his feet and bares his teeth. BABE halts her attack
    before physical violence)


    PERSEY
    Roy murdered Bruce, Babe,
    He told me himself!
    Roy loves Jarod more than he’ll ever love me.
    I think he wishes he WAS Jarod
    Who’s probably a wife-killer.
    THAT’S your real family!


    BABE
    (Forcing calm, sits down beside her)
    Oh, I see what went wrong.
    Persey, you must understand;
    Roy talks crazy sometimes
    But he never means it.
    It’s fun scaring girls.
    This is really YOUR fault.
    Admit, you love provoking him
    With dubious friendships.


    PERSEY
    Why does the world need a scapegoat?
    None of this is my friend’s doing!


    BABE
    Persey, set your heart
    At rest. I’ll prove to you
    Roy didn’t kill Bruce!


    PERSEY
    How can you POSSIBLY do that?


    BABE
    Because Roy IS Bruce.


    (The WOLF SPIRITS howl. Portrait lights up. DIGGER sits up at attention.)


    Everyone knows it but you!
    Don’t tell me YOU never figured it out!


    PERSEY
    Now YOU’RE talking crazy, Babe!
    Bruce went to jail! A felon and rapist
    A cowardly bully.


    BABE
    It’s YOUR fault I’m telling you.
    You chose college over Roy,
    You broke my poor boy’s heart.
    He was so angry at women
    At men who pretend
    He became dangerous.
    I lived in fear daily
    All because of you!


    PERSEY
    I just don’t get it, Babe.
    What are you telling me?
    I know Bruce was born.
    You had twins – did you or didn’t you?


    BABE
    I gave birth to twin boys
    While a child myself
    In a foreign country, don’t forget,
    With a shaky young marriage.
    I had no help at all.
    I tried so hard but
    I had no milk for twins.
    Roy was the weakest who
    Needed me most.
    Bruce seemed strong but died anyway –
    Roy’s father was furious! Our marriage
    Dead at that moment.
    There were two separate trust funds, Persey!
    The old ones didn’t need it.
    Wasting money is wrong!


    PERSEY
    Let me get this straight.
    You PRETENDED Bruce was alive?


    BABE
    It was a game at first, understand;
    A rainy-day joke!
    A beleaguered mother’s brave effort
    To turn frowns upside down.
    Without Roy’s father we needed the money!
    When Roy was bad, he was Bruce.
    When he behaved, he was Roy.
    But when he grew up he became
    Bruce all the time –
    Doing terrible things.
    It wasn’t my fault! I
    Couldn’t manage him and his Dad was ghosting us!


    (She spits into a lace-trimmed handkerchief.)


    Weak men run away!
    Don’t you see that, poor Persey?
    At least Roy is still here! We’re
    Lucky to have him!

    (PERSEY covers her face. So BABE argues with the audience.)


    BABE
    After my husband died, I saw so much
    Possibility. Second chances! We could
    Get rid of Bruce for once and for all.
    A beautiful ceremony – burying
    The things Bruce had broken.
    The costliest grave site
    With doves and balloons.
    Roy swore it was over.
    He promised GOD. When he forgets
    We go there to remind him.


    PERSEY
    (Struggling to keep up)
    You’re saying Roy is the one…


    BABE
    (Ignoring interruptions)
    I admit I made errors. These were
    Battlefield choices.
    When you’re a mother, Persey,
    You’ll understand.
    There’s SO MUCH regret. But
    How is Roy’s acting out my fault?
    YOU had abandoned him
    Saying you wanted OTHERS!
    Take responsibility, Persey!
    I’ve owned up to my part.
    Roy gave himself to you.
    He’s a one-woman man.
    You toyed with his heart,
    Chose COLLEGE over love!
    Of course he was angry.
    Of course he went crazy
    Bruce came back with a vengeance!
    You didn’t help MY life,
    I’ll tell you that.
    He offered you everything!


    PERSEY
    Roy attacked and raped people?
    It was Roy who went to jail?


    BABE
    When Roy went to prison it was a miracle
    I was so grateful we had
    A spare name to give him!
    Clever planning and foresight is what
    Breeds second chances.
    Young men founder with blotted
    Escutcheons! Jarod was SUCH
    A good friend; claiming Roy had been
    In his unit. When Roy was released
    Bruce could just vanish. But when Roy’s
    Unpredictable I MUST be
    Trustee. Increasing our holdings
    Made my son hate me more!
    We need to start over, Persey!
    This time you must help.


    PERSEY
    (Slow, incredulous)
    Your son is a killer!
    I’ll have nothing to do with it!


    BABE
    He only kills teases!
    Vermin and tramps!
    I thought I’d explained.
    You weren’t getting pregnant! You
    Forced Roy into testing,
    Questioned his virility! What man
    Accepts THAT? Now, this misery’s
    Behind us, if Brucie stays DEAD.
    Don’t rile Roy up!
    There’s the future to think about.


    PERSEY
    (Launching to her feet)
    Why can’t you face truth?
    Your son is a murderer
    And Jarod is helping him!
    Roy murdered Jarod’s wife
    In some sort of pay off!’


    BABE
    (Slaps PERSEY’s face hard.)
    Keep your voice down in my house!
    Don’t say this around Roy!
    Jarod’s keeping him safe!
    He’s the only man Roy can
    Look up to, or even respect.
    Boys need role models, don’t you see?
    To learn how to play! Jarod’s my hero.


    PERSEY
    Your family is poisoned, Babe.
    Your “truth” is a lie.


    (ROY’s voice offstage)


    ROY
    We got him, Darlin’!
    We captured the guy!


    BABE
    (Grabbing PERSEY’s arm)
    Don’t tell him you know!
    Roy will kill me, Persey
    I’m a sick woman!


    PERSEY
    Babe, please understand.
    Only truth lets us breathe.


    BABE
    (Pointing to the door)
    Get out! Get out of my house!


    (PERSEY and DIGGER exit)

  • Woman Into Wolf: the play

    (Scene 9. Lights up on PERSEY House set where ROY & JAROD wrestle by firelight while the hot tub smokes suggestively and the eyes in the portrait track their movements. NED & PERSEY at the door. WOLF SPIRITS gather around and on top of the house, eyes blinking on & off. NED beckons JAROD aside, puts an arm around him – they exit together)


    (PERSEY throws herself into ROY’s arms – he seems unresponsive)


    ROY
    (Holding PERSEY at arm’s length)
    What did you do?


    PERSEY
    (Still trying to connect with him)
    Oh, Roy, it was awful!
    Poor Stormee is dead!


    ROY
    She was disloyal.
    Didn’t she deserve it?


    PERSEY
    What do you mean?
    Jarod controlled her every move.


    ROY
    Naw. I’m hearing she strayed.
    Seems there’s lots of that
    Going around.


    (ROY pushes her away – DIGGER growls and poises for attack. ROY kicks at him. PERSEY orders him out of the house – DIGGER slinks away – to gather with the WOLF SPIRITS protecting the house. PERSEY thinks ROY just doesn’t understand.)


    PERSEY
    I found her dead, Roy.
    Stormee’s been murdered.


    ROY
    That’s not all you found, is it?
    Better stop lying!


    PERSEY
    (Very offended)
    I’m not lying!


    ROY
    Oh yeah? Weren’t you making kissy face
    With that snooping cop who’s harassing my mother?


    PERSEY
    What are you talking about?
    I’m making “kissy face”
    With nobody but you!


    ROY
    And then there’s that she-male
    You pal around with!
    What’s that about?
    Don’t my wishes mean anything?
    Those creatures spread sickness.


    PERSEY
    Bish is my friend!
    YOU’RE covered with
    “Wrestling burns”, thanks to Jarod!
    What’s THAT about?
    I found Stormee the way you two wanted –
    And now I’ll have nightmares
    Forever and ever.


    (Dispiritedly she undresses and climbs into hot tub)


    ROY
    Welcome to reality, princess.
    I know you’re still hiding something!
    That cop’s got your number!


    (WOLF SPIRITS & DIGGER howl without restraint – ROY snatches a shotgun out of the umbrella stand)


    PERSEY
    Roy, for God’s sake!
    Who’s hiding from whom?
    That cop asked ME to find out
    If Bruce is really dead!


    (Eyes move as portrait lights dramatically)


    ROY
    Bruce? Of course Bruce is dead!
    I killed him myself!
    In a battle to the death
    There’s only one winner.


    PERSEY
    You did not! You couldn’t have!


    ROY
    That’s all the credit you give me!
    No wonder my buddies are thinking
    I’m de-balled, like your mutt!
    Nobody tames ME, Sweetmeat.
    And you know what else I’m gonna do?
    I’m going to shoot me a canine!


    PERSEY
    DON’T YOU DARE!


    (Marches to the door where he almost runs into JAROD who is wheeling a case of champagne on a dolly)


    JAROD
    Whoa, buddy!
    Where are you headed?


    (Wrestles shotgun away, dumps it)
    This party just started!


    ROY
    Aren’t I your alibi?

    JAROD
    Hell no! DNA!
    They got a condom
    Overflowing with man juice!


    ROY
    Where’d they get that, I wonder?


    JAROD
    You ought to know!
    Don’t you trust me, ol’ buddy? Everything’s
    Fixed. They got a culprit!
    We’re partyin’ here.


    ROY
    Hear that, Persey?
    They caught the guy that did Stormee!


    JAROD
    First, capture the love juice, then
    String the guy up.


    (WOLF SPIRITS & DIGGER howl)


    Man, you’ve got a wolf problem.


    ROY
    I know! Let’s go hunting!


    JAROD
    You kidding me?

    ROY
    Party first, fireworks after!


    (He shakes up a bottle of champagne and shoots it at ROY. ROY, dripping, grabs a bottle to shoot at JAROD. Merriment – not shared by PERSEY)


    PERSEY
    I take it we’re celebrating
    Your instant divorce?


    JAROD
    (Kneeling by the hot tub)
    Birthday champagne for you,
    Persey. Primo stuff. Some people die
    Some people get born.
    The party goes on.
    Word on the street is
    You like champagne.


    PERSEY
    You know nothing about
    What I love and hate.


    ROY
    This Champagne’s Persey’s favorite.
    She uses a glass, though.


    (He exits. JAROD leans over, looking suggestively into the water)


    JAROD
    Looking for company?


    PERSEY
    (Flicking water on him)
    No. Go away.


    (JAROD strips down, slides in, clutching his champagne bottle.)


    JAROD
    Can’t dampen the drowned, darlin’.
    I’m ALWAYS all in.


    (He starts climbing in – PERSEY turns her back on him, tries to climb out – he stops her)


    Have a heart, Persey. You’re being mean
    To a heartbroken widower.


    PERSEY
    You better get your hands off me
    Before Roy sees you.


    JAROD
    Sweet cheeks
    This was ALL his idea.


    (ROY appears with champagne glass and kneels on PERSEY’s other side)


    ROY
    Here you go, cupcake’.
    Fertility meds served up in Baccarat
    Just how you like ‘em.

    (He holds her jaw, pours champagne in her mouth. PERSEY tries to get out, they both hold her down.)


    Not so fast, hon.
    It’s past time to make babies.


    (PERSEY begins to thrash wildly)


    JAROD
    Don’t waste energy, Persey.
    Two against one.


    ROY
    Yeah. Hunters in tandem
    Bring down any game.


    (They swarm over her. Lights out.)

  • Woman Into Wolf: the play

    Act 3 Scene 8
    (The forest outside JAROD’s house. PERSEY is dragging DIGGER along by his collar.)


    PERSEY


    DIGGER! I need you!
    What the heck is your problem?


    (DIGGER is doing everything he can to stall and resist. TREES surge, rustle, threaten. WOLVES howl.)


    Are you scared of coyotes?
    I thought they were your friends.


    (DIGGER covers his ears with his paws and cowers.)
    I’m ashamed of you.
    Such a scaredy cat!


    (Bossy mother)


    They’re more afraid of you
    Than you are of them.
    We trespass in THEIR forest.
    Ssssh! Hear them talking?
    Maybe if we listen
    We‘ll understand their secret.


    (Calls softly)


    Cookie, Monica, Jean,
    Mina and Jo Lee … DaToy and
    Mary Louise… Jane and John Doe…

    (The TREES moan and shiver their leaves)

    See? They’re helpers, not haters!
    Believe me, a forest is safer
    Than most strangers are!
    Native Americans say
    The trees are our home.


    (Eyes appear glittering between the trees. DIGGER and PERSEY react fearfully. PERSEY tries to master her fear to be brave for DIGGER)


    Cookie, Monica, Jean, Mina,
    DaToy and Jo Lee, Jane and John
    Are you there?
    (The eyes turn into beautiful women wearing wolf heads; the WOLF SPIRITS.)


    WOLF SPIRITS
    (Sing)
    Welcome to The Forest…the center of life…
    Holds the mystery of death.


    (They dance with DIGGER and PERSEY who are at first frightened and awkward, then ecstatic & surrendering. One Spirit gives PERSEY a gift. Then slowly they pull back into the dancing trees. DIGGER wants to go with them but PERSEY jerks him back)


    PERSEY
    Digger, I need you to stay with me now.
    Did you see them?
    So many – I never expected …

    (DIGGER waves his tail sadly at the departing WOLF SPIRITS. PERSEY studies her gift…a hairclip with a hair extension attached.)

    I’ve seen this before.
    (Falls to her knees)
    This is Stormee’s. Now I’m REALLY scared.


    (At last DIGGER alerts. Sniffs the clip and commences racing around. Finds more bloodied “evidence” to lay at PERSEY’s feet. STORMEE emerges from the trees looking different – scary yet exalted. Her dress is a mass of red streamers. She dances, then collapses gracefully in a heap – PERSEY finds the body – scream – light out.)

  • Woman Into Wolf: the play

    (NED the cop exits; having to push vines aside. DIGGER runs out between his legs to dance with his friends. PERSEY throws herself on sofa, dials phone. Cell phone rings on BISH making his way through audience. Ring tone is Strangers In Paradise.)


    BISH
    Persey! You’re just the person!


    (He leans on an audience chair arm, settling down for a nice chat.)
    What’s up?


    PERSEY
    You’ll never believe what happened!


    BISH
    I can’t wait to hear!
    And I‘ve got news of my own. I…
    Met some special someone.


    PERSEY
    Well, this is incredible!
    We’ll have to celebrate!
    That cop came here…
    The cop I told you about…

    BISH
    Oh, the wordsmith?
    Persey, don’t we want action?


    PERSEY
    He doesn’t think Roy’s brother
    Really is dead!


    BISH
    Persey, how bizarre!


    PERSEY
    Turns out Bruce was a rapist
    Who served four years in jail
    Then he vanished.
    But his fingerprints turned up
    At my woodland crime scene!


    BISH
    Oooo PERSEY I’m shivering!
    It’s so sick what you’re saying!


    PERSEY
    If BRUCE is alive…


    (She hesitates with a shocking realization)


    BISH
    Persey! What?
    Tell me.

    PERSEY
    Roy would kill him.
    Remember that portrait?


    (The Portrait lights up & participates, the little boys writhe like spirits in hell)


    BISH
    That you said he’d destroy?


    PERSEY
    He says he’s keeping it
    To remind him that Bruce
    Can never hurt him again.


    BISH
    Oooo Persey, your husband
    Is so full of surprises.


    PERSEY
    Wait. I’m getting a call.
    It’s Roy. Gotta go.
    Talk about your crush next time?


    BISH
    Hard to compete with a family like yours.
    My life was SO unexciting till I met
    Mr. Right Now!


    PERSEY
    Bish! Hasta Manana!

    (Lights off on BISH who perambulates along his way, Lights up on ROY and JAROD lounging together at the side of the theatre)


    PERSEY
    Hi, hon. What can I do for you?


    ROY
    Puddin’, Jarod and I need you
    To check up on Stormee.
    She was coming for lunch but
    She never showed and her phone
    Has gone dead.


    PERSEY
    Oh, Roy…


    (Writhing – she just LOATHES STORMEE)


    Can’t Jarod go look?


    JAROD
    (Taking the phone)
    Sweetmeat, we’re stuck here.
    Payin’ the bill. Gotta
    Get back to work.
    You’re close by. I’m … concerned.


    (Wheedling)


    Won’t you do this one little thing
    For your favorite guys?

    PERSEY
    (Totally furious at hearing from JAROD)
    Fine. Tell Roy I love him.


    JAROD
    Oh, we know, sugartits.
    Believe me, we know.


    (The men giggle conspiratorially and lean together. Lights off.)

  • Woman Into Wolf: the play

    Scene 7
    (Later. PERSEY’s house. She wears cleaning overall and carries duster & spray can. NED the cop in plain clothes knocks at the door. She’s surprised to see him.)


    NED
    (Very relaxed, strides in carrying folders)
    Some place you’ve got here.
    Looks like your help has help.


    PERSEY
    We’re do-it-yourselfers.
    Um…how can I assist?


    NED
    Ready to work?
    (Shakes the folders at her)


    PERSEY
    I am working.


    NED
    This is real work,
    Not playing house.
    Aren’t you supposed to be
    My confidential Informant?
    Saw your husband depart so figured
    Now’s a good time.
    Keepin’ it downlow.
    How about coffee?


    PERSEY
    (She looks appalled but can’t think how to get out of this. DIGGER lifts an uninterested head and goes back to sleep.)
    Um…sure.


    (She wanders out. NED strides around the room, looking at everything. Scratches DIGGER behind ears, Pokes into things, wanders up to the portrait, which glares at him)


    NED
    Whoa, Nellie!


    (PERSEY returns sans housecoat & duster, bearing a tray of coffee. NED gestures at the portrait)


    NED
    This is quite something.


    PERSEY
    Yes, isn’t it?
    (She pours)


    NED
    That’s a lot of knives.
    Your husband’s a collector?


    PERSEY
    Boys love toys.
    Sugar? Cream?


    NED
    I could use something sweet.
    One of those painted kids is
    Your man, I presume?


    PERSEY
    (Sitting down – she’s had it with that portrait)
    That’s what they say.
    But no one knows which.


    NED
    Oh, I think I can tell.


    PERSEY
    (Very disbelieving)
    They’re identical twins!


    NED
    (Confident)
    Sure. One is a felon and the other
    Married you. Think that wouldn’t show?


    PERSEY
    A felon?


    NED
    (Less certain)
    Nobody told you?


    PERSEY
    Bruce went to jail?


    NED
    The guy was a rapist.
    (He opens file)
    He served four years.


    PERSEY
    My God!


    NED
    That’s my question, in fact.
    There’s a gravesite and obituary…
    But I can’t find a certificate.


    PERSEY
    Let me see.


    (He hands her the file – contents projected on walls. Disturbing newspaper articles, black and white photos)


    I was worlds away in college
    Roy was in the army.
    I never met Bruce.
    Babe– she’s my mother-in-law
    Says Bruce killed himself.


    NED
    Suicide never makes obits.
    Family shame – there’s the rub.
    Good coffee by the way.
    You like it strong, just like I do.
    Most people can’t handle that.
    (Studied calm)
    So you think something’s funny
    About Bruce’s demise?


    PERSEY
    For the first time that seems likely.
    A handsome young man,
    With his own trust fund,
    A bully who adored showing others his power.
    Suddenly he has an actual motive for offing himself.


    NED
    (His turn to be disbelieving)
    Family shame, you are thinking?
    Some sense of remorse?


    PERSEY
    I know his mom pretty well.
    Rape she could cover.
    But prison…


    NED
    Mom’s OK with rape?


    PERSEY
    She’s a tad narcissistic.


    NED
    Ah. Would you say that it’s possible…
    That Bruce is alive?


    (WOLVES howl. DIGGER lifts his head and joins in. NED catches PERSEY’s cup as PERSEY drops it)

    PERSEY
    JESUS!


    (DIGGER goes to window – all excited.)


    It’s those coyotes. I’m afraid
    Digger’s in love with them.


    NED
    Hey, we all envy the wild.
    Sorry I upset you.


    PERSEY
    (Filled with revulsion and distaste)
    Bruce CAN’T be alive.
    . If he is alive, then where is he?
    Roy says that he’s dead and
    He couldn’t fool Roy.
    Roy hated his brother but now
    He’s been set free. He replaced
    Bruce with Jarod who
    Gives him esteem.
    Not even their mother
    Keeps that kind of secret.


    NED
    Work with me here.
    Let’s imagine –
    Just for argument –
    Bruce was paid to vanish and
    The money ran out.
    What would he do?


    PERSEY
    (Cynically)
    The money NEVER runs out.


    NED
    Wow. If you say so!


    PERSEY
    Roy’s mom isn’t clever
    And she’s not really subtle.
    I can read between HER lines.
    She acts like something’s missing
    That Roy took away.
    Bruce’s death explains that.


    NED
    You think your husband
    Murdered his brother?


    PERSEY
    What is it with everyone?
    That’s NOT what I think!


    NED
    But somebody does?


    PERSEY
    One thing’s guaranteed;
    If Bruce is alive,
    Roy knows nothing about it.


    NED
    (Gentle irony)
    So, in your case the wife
    Is the first one to know?
    Your husband can’t lie?
    Kudos to both of you.


    PERSEY
    I know my own husband!
    YOUR marriages didn’t take
    So, what do YOU know?
    Bruce was Roy’s twin!
    It’s a special relationship.


    NED
    Would you say he loved his brother?


    PERSEY
    Hated him. Bruce was the favorite.
    Roy never came into his own
    Till his brother died.
    But if he thought for a moment that
    Bruce could appear…he’d act totally different.
    I just know it.


    NED
    You’re pretty confident
    In your ability to read people.


    PERSEY
    I can read THESE people.


    NED
    Kudos to ME picking
    Confidential Informants.

    PERSEY
    (She fears he is mocking her but he’s very straight faced.)
    So, what is it you want
    Me to do for you exactly?


    NED
    Get me a death certificate.


    PERSEY
    This was supposed to concern Jarod!


    NED
    I say what this concerns.
    That’s how this thing works.
    You’re a better authority
    On this family than on Gunver.


    PERSEY
    (She just hates this job)
    Well, Babe is a packrat and
    Bruce’s room is a shrine.
    Her house is a castle.
    I could look for it there. Or…
    I could ask her.


    NED
    I’d appreciate it.
    She won’t return calls.

    (PERSEY rises as if to show him out but NED sits like a log. He not going anywhere.)


    PERSEY
    (A bit desperately)
    Why Bruce?
    And why now?


    NED
    His fingerprints turned up
    Recall that pink shoe in the woods?


    PERSEY
    Really? You’re kidding!


    NED
    Who knows how long
    A fingerprint lasts? Still –
    There’s no coincidences
    Only new patterns.
    Bruce gets out of jail…
    Disappears – bodies appear. They say
    Rapists who serve time
    Stop leaving witnesses.


    (WOLVES howl. Now DIGGER wants to go out.)


    PERSEY
    (To DIGGER)
    You lie down!

    (DIGGER plays dead)


    (To NED)


    But that’s horrible!


    NED
    Horrible’s my job.
    How long have you had
    This feral dog problem?


    PERSEY
    There isn’t a problem!
    If Digger’s friends choose to go feral
    We can respect that.


    NED
    You promise to help me?


    PERSEY
    (Pacing, trying not to panic)
    You’re looking in the wrong place.


    NED
    What makes you think so?

    PERSEY
    (Determinedly)
    MY suspect’s a cop, that’s why
    You’ll never see it.


    (NED leans forward)

    NED
    Jarod’s got no criminal jacket.
    He isn’t good for this. The question is
    Why your husband has bad taste in friends.
    Gunver physically violent
    That you personally know of?


    PERSEY
    He brags about hurting prisoners.
    The whole street’s afraid of him.
    He and Stormee fight constantly.


    NED
    He’s got no complaints.


    PERSEY
    It’s a rigged system!


    NED
    This is circular reasoning.


    PERSEY
    He’s a parasite!


    NED
    Parasites don’t kill.
    If they know what is good for them.
    You’re emotionally involved.

    PERSEY
    And that cancels evidence?


    NED
    Hey, everyone’s suspect.
    I promised to study it.


    PERSEY
    (Points to the folders he hasn’t opened)
    So, what’s that doing here?
    Those extra files?


    NED
    Oh. You wanted those names.
    Of the missing.


    (WOLVES emerge howling and gather around house.)


    Sounds like…they’re singing.


    PERSEY
    Wouldn’t we all if we could?


    NED
    You mean feel one with nature?


    PERSEY
    Dance with the trees.


    (She whirls. THE WOLF-SPIRITS stand up as humans with wolf heads & masks)


    NED
    In our dreams!

    (Words & photos projected on walls. Names.)


    WOLF SPIRITS
    (Eerie chanting)
    Cookie Louise, Monica Falkin, Jean Jane McComber, Ernie
    “DaToy”, Jo Lee Ann Jeffries, Miss Mina Ha, Jane Does 1 through Jane Doe 4, John Doe 1,2,3.


    PERSEY
    Can I keep these?


    NED
    Do you want them?


    PERSEY
    Names are important.
    I’d like to study them.


    NED
    The murderer didn’t care who they were.


    PERSEY
    I think he killed them because of
    Who they were becoming.


    (The TREES send protective vines over the house; DIGGER howls)


    NED
    That’s an eerie effect!
    Really makes you shiver.


    (PERSEY opens the door and looks out pointedly)


    How about your name – Persey.
    Where did that come from?


    PERSEY
    It’s an old one.
    Persephone. It’s Greek.


    (NED exits; having to push vines aside.)

  • Woman Into Wolf: the play

    (PERSEY & BISH finish their yoga with a good gossip when – unexpectedly – ROY, PERSEY’S husband – who hates BISH – comes home)

    BISH
    But I have no playmate
    As you cruelly point out.
    (Sighs)


    PERSEY
    Sorry.
    (Offstage, ROY’s voice)


    ROY
    Cupcake! I’m home!
    Where the hellz is my baby?


    (PERSEY & BISH galvanize. He picks up scattered clothes and rushes, dripping, to change behind a screen. DIGGER lifts a head to show some interest. PERSEY jumps back in the hot tub. ROY appears.)


    PERSEY
    Just chillaxing.


    ROY
    I’m down with that!
    (Strips and jumps in with her)


    PERSEY
    I thought you were with Babe.


    ROY
    Dumped her at the depot.
    She can Uber home.


    PERSEY
    Roy, you didn’t!
    She just had back surgery!


    ROY
    She wouldn’t stop bitchin’.
    You know how she gets.
    Hey, what’s with the bathing suit?
    (Trying to disrobe her)


    PERSEY
    Sometimes…if I’m alone


    ROY
    I got dibs on this body!


    (Kissing and fondling her. PERSEY frantically signaling over his head to BISH who’s crawling towards the door, DIGGER following him with much interest. ROY suddenly sniffs the air)


    ROY
    Has that she-male been here?


    PERSEY
    Roy! Bish is my friend!


    ROY
    If society had smarts we’d
    Exterminate those guys.
    Mixed-up sexes
    Don’t know WHAT they are.



    (PERSEY tries to muffle him with kisses)


    PERSEY
    Don’t say that.
    You don’t mean it.


    ROY
    I do mean it.
    Queers are just trash people.
    Who wants a world
    Where men forget to be male?


    PERSEY
    Would they stop knifing and shooting?


    (A panicked BISH makes a dash for it, drops a shirt. DIGGER barks, picks up the shirt, returns to the fire to mouth it)


    ROY
    What’s up with that dog?
    He’s chewing up something…
    Better not be mine!


    (A lone WOLF howls)


    PERSEY
    (Climbing on his lap trying to interest him in sex)
    It’s a dishrag I gave him.
    Want to fool around?
    Or would you like a beer?

    ROY
    That dog better
    Stay out of my stuff, I’m warning you.


    (Shouting over PERSEY’s shoulder to DIGGER)


    I’ll put that dog down! Where he belongs!


    (DIGGER attacks the shirt more aggressively – ROY makes a move to leap out of the tub – PERSEY grabs remote to light portrait – it looks right at ROY – WOLVES’ Chorus)


    ROY
    Fuck me!


    (ROY appears gobsmacked. Lights off on PERSEY house, up on shirtless BISH putting shoes on at the side of the stage. JAROD – ROY’S cop friend – approaches, hails him. They began to tango.)


    JAROD
    Hel-lo sugar! What have we here?


    BISH
    Didn’t know you were interested.


    JAROD
    Call me a collector.
    Sampling anything new.
    What’s on offer?


    BISH
    Why settle for anything
    When you can have
    Everything?


    (They waltz off. WOLVES howl. Lights out.)

  • Woman Into Wolf: the play

    Scene 6
    (PERSEY’s house. She & BISH, dressed in yoga clothes, go through a series of poses together in choreographed movement. BISH adjusts PERSEY every now and then. DIGGER imitates & riffs off them doggie style.)


    BISH
    Your breath!
    Where’s your breath, Persey?


    PERSEY
    (Gasping)
    Sorry. I’m afraid my pigeon’s
    Been…shot.


    BISH
    But your sleeping swan’s
    A thing of beauty and
    A joy forever.


    (Adjustment)


    Where’s your mind?


    PERSEY
    (Huffing and puffing)
    Stuck in my gut.


    BISH
    No ego.


    PERSEY
    No ego.

    BISH
    And hold….
    Flirt with your edge.
    Find your power –
    Soften…
    Release…
    Collapse.


    (They relax exhaustedly, then bow prayerfully to each other)


    BISH & PERSEY
    Respect the wisdom of the body.


    BISH
    Now Corpse Pose
    Or drink. Persey’s choice!


    PERSEY
    That’s an easy one!
    Save Corpse Pose for when we’re really dead.


    BISH
    When I’m old and
    You’re wrinkly.
    (She stands up to mix them drinks while BISH throws himself into a chair)


    BISH
    (Looks around and whispers)
    So… I’m intuiting
    Perhaps … I can slacken my vigilance
    Just a trifle?


    PERSEY
    (Hands him his drink)
    Which vigilance is that?


    BISH
    The vigilance that’s scared to death
    Of your husband, my honey.


    PERSEY
    Oh, stop it. Roy’s not so bad.
    I like having a man
    I know can defend me.


    BISH
    It’s the lure of fascism, darling.
    No one can resist the uniform.


    PERSEY
    Oh, shush.
    Shriek like a train whistle if
    The spirit moves you. Roy
    And his mother are
    Pretending to visit long-dead brother’s grave.
    I think they really go pub-crawling.

    BISH
    Surprising they spend
    So much time together
    Considering they hate each other.


    PERSEY
    Hate’s love to some people.
    She’s hard to take, but
    Some of us have to.
    I feel kind of sorry for her.
    She makes her own misery.


    BISH
    But don’t we love drama?
    I envy you Persey!
    What fun you folks have!
    Scarify me with tales
    Of Legendary Dead Brother.
    So what made poor Bruce
    Suicide himself?


    PERSEY
    You can’t get a straight story
    Out of that woman.
    On her bad days
    He was murdered.

    BISH
    MURTHERED! Who by?


    PERSEY
    The suspects keep changing.
    It’s a very strange family.


    BISH
    But there’s only the two of them!
    I suppose they fill out the crowd
    With personal demons!


    PERSEY
    Babe resurrects Bruce
    Whenever she needs him.
    And now we’ve got Jarod
    Shoehorning his way in.


    BISH
    But Jarod takes Roy’s side!
    Can’t you appreciate?
    It makes the sides even.


    PERSEY
    I guess a strange
    Family ‘s better than no family at all.
    Which was where I came in.


    BISH
    Or none we’ll admit to.
    We’re each other’s family!


    (They toast)


    But we’re entertained!
    If folks insist on emoting
    Who are we to deny them?


    PERSEY
    Speaking of corpse pose,
    Digger found a skeleton!


    BISH
    An actual dead person?


    PERSEY
    Bones. Old remains in the woods.
    But scary enough!
    (Settling into her chair for a comfortable gossip)


    BISH
    (Sips drink…reacts…likes)
    What’s your Glamorous Nazi
    Say about corpse finding?


    PERSEY
    Silly! I’d never tell Roy!
    Roy warns me NEVER to
    Walk in the woods.


    BISH
    Did you notify Jarod The Law?
    (Sighs ecstatically)
    Jarod the Beautiful
    Jarod the Sex Cop?
    Oh, to be arrested and handcuffed
    By someone like HIM!
    “DON’T rough me up, officer!
    I’ll tell you anything!”


    PERSEY
    Jarod’s not beautiful!
    He’s spoiled like bad meat.
    He’s bewitched my poor Roy.
    Like some substitute twin.


    BISH
    If you’re keeping secrets
    I won’t breathe a word.
    But that Jarod’s man-jelly
    In search of a sandwich.
    I’m sure he swings ALL ways.

    PERSEY
    You think EVERYBODY
    Swings EVERY way.


    BISH
    Oh, Persey, they DO.


    PERSEY
    Jarod looks out
    For just Jarod only. Did I tell you
    He tricked Roy into making him partner?


    BISH
    What’s CEO Mom-in-law say about THAT?


    PERSEY
    Oh, she’s impossible.
    She LOOVES Jarod.
    I tell Roy if he’ not careful
    He’ll be getting a step-dad.


    BISH
    Persey, how delightful!
    Your life is so complicated!
    So, that skeleton’s still out there
    Waiting to pounce?


    PERSEY
    No. I womaned up. Foraged a cop
    Of my own. Aren’t you always
    Saying, Get out Persey,
    Embrace new experience!


    BISH
    Persey, you didn’t!


    PERSEY
    Oh, Bish, I DID.
    He’s a very nice cop and
    I’m his Secret Informant!


    BISH
    Oh, my God Persey!
    Depths hitherto UNDREAMED of.
    You’re so daring I’m slack-jawed!
    You’ve surpassed Teacher.
    No longer a poor, trembly princess
    Locked alone in her tower.
    So, dish about cop!
    Was HIS skeleton nice?


    PERSEY
    Our attraction’s cerebral.
    He’s a puzzle maven. He
    Used the word, “ethos”.

    BISH
    Oh, Persey! Starved intellectually, are we?


    PERSEY
    (Thoughtfully)
    I do respect men
    Who know how to talk.


    BISH
    Which is why you love me.
    So, what secrets
    Are you forced to impart?


    PERSEY
    That I suspect Jarod!


    BISH
    Oh, Persey,
    You’re just jealous
    ‘Cause Roy’s got a man crush.


    PERSEY
    You don’t know Jarod like I do.
    He’s always bragging
    About doing folks down.


    BISH
    I’m warning you girly –
    Green-eyed monsters don’t win.

    PERSEY
    But Jarod’s the monster!


    BISH
    I do love a good monster.
    Perseys NEED monsters.


    PERSEY
    That Jarod’s a weasel!
    A weasel who’s dirty.
    He fixed every traffic ticket
    Roy ever had.


    BISH
    Persey, you’re watching
    WAY too much television!


    PERSEY
    What if Jarod’s a serial killer?
    Digger absolutely loathes him
    (DIGGER obligingly bares his teeth)
    And Digger’s never wrong.


    BISH
    WHAT Serial Killer?


    PERSEY
    Try to keep up!
    My cop friend just told me
    There’s MULTIPLE body parts
    Dumped in that forest.
    People go missing
    In Jarod’s back yard!


    BISH
    Multiple body parts?
    How come we don’t hear?


    PERSEY
    Poor Bish! Nobody cares
    For the vulnerable
    So, they’re killers’ favorites.


    BISH
    What kind of people?
    MY kind of people?


    PERSEY
    OUR kind of people.
    Bi-curious, tri-curious
    Foraging wanderers
    Hitchhikers and travelers
    Tourists and runaways
    Just passing through.

    BISH
    Passing through HERE?
    Jeepers, Persey! I don’t want you
    Woods-walking either!


    PERSEY
    Yeah but I’m not a victim.
    Digger makes sure.


    (DIGGER snarls & feints)


    BISH
    Oh, Persey! Killers love fairy princesses
    And eat dogs for breakfast!


    (DIGGER cowers)


    PERSEY
    I’m NO fairy princess!


    BISH
    Oh, look in a mirror!
    Don’t fight hate with hate, Persey.
    If Jarod’s so machiavellian
    He wouldn’t bother to kill.


    PERSEY
    He’s a sadist, poor Bish.
    You’re too trusting. If Jarod’s not dirty
    Investigation can’t hurt him.

    BISH
    Suddenly we’re a fourgy!
    Roy’s jealous of ME
    And you’re jealous of Jarod!


    PERSEY
    Roy’s right to be jealous.


    BISH
    Persey – much as I love you
    …Adorable as you are…
    You’re not my type.


    PERSEY
    He knows WE talk about
    Things I can’t say to HIM.
    He’s a man who wants everything.


    BISH
    Doesn’t everyone?
    Roy tells his Man Buddy
    Things he can’t say to YOU.


    PERSEY
    Dumb stuff, probably. Things like
    Guns, knives and wars.
    You know they dressed a deer
    In my downstairs guest bath?

    BISH
    You mean they
    UNdressed it. Poor Persey.


    PERSEY
    Jarod brings out Roy’s
    Worst side. Imposture,
    Pretense – Loads of sick
    Macho crap.


    BISH
    Well…a LITTLE imposture –
    And a soupçon of crap –
    Can be very alluring.


    PERSEY
    It ISN’T!
    I loathe poseurs!


    BISH
    Oh Persey! The unlovely among us are
    Dependent on posing or we’d get
    No partners at ALL!
    So far Roy’s uncooperative
    With your civilizing pressure?
    Hmm…wonder why…
    With a mother like that?

    PERSEY
    It’s just because poor Roy was so
    Tormented by his only brother.


    BISH
    He needs guns and knives?


    PERSEY
    He has a starved, hungry ego.
    But he’s an angel to me.


    BISH
    You call me too-trusting?
    Never trust anyone
    With so many rules.
    Who needs knives and guns
    When he’s got silver spoons?
    He could accept the real US
    If he put his head right.


    PERSEY
    He’s getting there, I swear it.
    If I could just get rid of Jarod…


    BISH
    You’re boring me, Persey.
    Time for a hot tub?


    PERSEY
    Please! I’ll jump in with you!


    (They peel down to bikini & Speedo. Step gingerly in.)


    BISH
    Aaaah….


    PERSEY
    (Lifting pile of towels and whispering)
    Sssh. Keep it down so Digger –


    (Too Late. DIGGER sails into the tub. Much splashing. Swimming, etc. Finally DIGGER jumps out, shakes all over the towels and settles down in front of fire for a snooze, feet in air.)


    BISH
    THAT was refreshing.
    For someone.


    PERSEY
    (Mopping up frantically with towels)
    Roy just hates it
    When Digs makes a mess!


    BISH
    See what I mean?
    Stop running and jumping
    And twitching for him!


    PERSEY
    Oh, hush.
    You’d cater adoringly
    To somebody special.


    BISH
    Below the belt, that one!
    I can’t like my best friend locked up
    As a baby machine.


    PERSEY
    Roy doesn’t want children!
    He can’t share me with a dog!
    That’s just Mama’s nagging.
    Roy HATED his childhood.


    BISH
    Who’s posing now?
    Are you faking the fertility game?


    PERSEY
    It’s a state secret, Bish –
    You can’t ever tell!


    BISH
    (Locking lips – tossing key)
    Honey, you’re safe with me.


    PERSEY
    Roy’s swimmers lack tails!
    Turns out they just…
    LIE there.


    BISH
    No! Oh, the poor man!
    I actually pity him!


    PERSEY
    Don’t! It’s an automatic vasectomy!
    Win-win! He just doesn’t want anyone –
    Especially Babe –
    To EVER find out.


    BISH
    Weird. Well, my lips are sealed.
    Will you EVER tell Granma?


    PERSEY
    We’ll break her in slowly.


    BISH
    You know, Persey, I think
    You have everyone fooled.
    You’re a bad girl underneath.
    But no ego!


    PERSEY
    No ego! I’m so glad I’ve got you.

    BISH
    But I have no playmate
    As you cruelly point out.
    (Sighs)


    PERSEY
    Sorry.


    (Offstage, ROY’s voice)


    ROY
    Cupcake! I’m home!
    Where the hellz is my baby?

  • Woman Into Wolf: the play

    Scene 4
    (PERSEY turns out the light and the women exit. Firelight spreads across the room, lighting glittering eyes of the portrait – the eyes move, watching the women leave. DIGGER’s Dance with the WOLVES: Sniffs wolves suspiciously; they are wild and strange, he is home-raised and scared but envious of their freedom and “cool.” Threat & counter threat; posture & preening. Gradually DIGGER becomes wolf-like and runs with the pack. The moon appears and the WOLVES salute it. It lights PERSEY getting ready for bed. Above her BRUCE appears clinging to the skylight, peering down. WOLVES & DIGGER threaten and howl him away.)


    Act 2 Scene 5
    (The deepest forest. PERSEY, DIGGER and a police officer NED wandering listlessly around in the unscary, perfectly ordinary daylight. Scratchy background noises from NED’s radio)


    PERSEY
    There’s a skeleton
    Around here somewhere, officer.


    NED
    (Skeptically)
    That you saw late Midsummer Eve.


    PERSEY
    Are you even a detective?
    I was promised “Cold Case” professionals!


    NED
    “Open Unsolved”.
    I’m all that there is.


    PERSEY
    You sound defeated.
    On the verge of retirement?


    NED
    Hell no, lady. Never.
    Too many cold cases.
    I’ll die in this job.


    PERSEY
    Sounds like a death wish.


    NED
    It’s a life wish.
    I love my work.


    PERSEY
    Searching for … skeletons?


    NED
    Solving puzzles.
    Perfecting antennae.
    Following undercurrents
    Right to their source.
    (He kicks the leaves)
    Where’d you unearth
    This cadaver exactly?


    PERSEY
    It’s around here someplace.
    It was Digger who found it.
    (Kneels to talk to DIGGER)
    Remember those bones, boy?
    Go get ‘em, Digger!


    (DIGGER scratches himself stupidly)


    NED
    Speaks English, that dog?


    PERSEY
    I know he speaks wolf.


    NED
    Wolf?


    PERSEY
    Wolves howl at him and
    He howls right back.


    NED
    No wolves around here.


    PERSEY
    Coyotes, then.
    Coywolves.
    Something’s howling.
    I’ve seen ‘em.


    NED
    Feral dogs more likely.
    Tame goes wild more often
    Than the other way round.


    PERSEY
    You’re argumentative.


    NED
    I respect facts
    When assembling theory.
    Dogs taste the outdoors
    And they never go back.


    PERSEY
    Just like some people.
    Go, Digger, go! Shoo!


    (She pushes him. DIGGER ambles off)


    You’re a puzzle fan?


    NED
    Yup. I’m addicted.


    (Takes a Chinese link puzzle out of his pocket and plays with it)


    I’m never without one.
    Solve ‘em in my sleep.


    PERSEY
    So, what special skills
    Do puzzle mavens require?


    NED
    Pattern recognition.
    Patterns are everything;
    The basis of speech
    Building blocks of thought.


    (As they look out over the audience, the TREES rearrange themselves and spit up a pink stiletto platform shoe, which DIGGER retrieves.)


    NED
    What you got there, boy?
    (DIGGER dumps the shoe at his feet. NED holds it up for PERSEY’s inspection)


    NED
    This what you saw?


    PERSEY
    Definitely not.
    Bones! Digger!
    Skeleton!
    Go get ’em boy!


    (She mimes walking like a zombie while DIGGER watches her, bright-eyed.)


    NED
    You play charades with this dog?


    PERSEY
    He watches a lot of movies.


    (DIGGER leaves them alone, ambling off to search. NED & PERSEY kick the leaves in awkward “first date” embarrassment. They are attracted to each other.)


    NED
    (Might be bragging – just a bit)
    Wouldn’t be the first corpse
    Located hereabouts.


    PERSEY
    No! How many were there?


    NED
    (With relish)
    Multiple body dumps.
    Arms, legs,
    Torsos.
    So many go missing.


    PERSEY
    Jarod was right!


    NED
    You don’t mean Jarod Gunver?


    PERSEY
    You know him?


    NED
    (Evasive: suddenly circumspect)
    Well…he’s a cop.
    So, I’ve seen him around.


    PERSEY
    Yeah, yeah, I get it.
    Thin blue line.


    NED
    Very thin.

    PERSEY
    Power shields power.
    I know all about it.
    He’s my husband’s best friend.
    Claims to be “expert” but
    Usually wrong. He’s
    Wrong about everything.
    I’m surprised he spoke truth about
    Forests of corpses.


    NED
    You don’t like him.


    PERSEY
    I don’t. Bad influence – rough crowd.


    NED
    He talks police business?


    PERSEY
    If he thinks he’s impressing!
    That he’s smarter than anyone!
    He collects slaves —
    “Whoever Dies With the Most Souls Wins”
    That’s his motto.
    He’s got lots of followers –
    Information’s his currency –
    Bragging and scaring –
    Trying to frighten –
    “Don’t walk in the woods!”
    He LOVES scaring women.


    NED
    (Being The Cop)
    What did he tell you?


    PERSEY
    “Boy girls come to bad ends”.
    He really hates anyone
    Who isn’t his slave.
    Roy envies his power –
    I ignored him.
    Till I found that skeleton.


    NED
    He’s out of line.
    Information comes in
    Not supposed to go out.


    PERSEY
    (Pointedly)
    I suppose YOU’ve got no friends?


    NED
    Shoptalk is different.


    PERSEY
    Men always say that.


    NED
    Yeah. We are boring.


    PERSEY
    But investigation’s exciting!


    NED
    You find my work exciting?


    PERSEY
    I don’t know about puzzles
    But I favor the truth
    There’s the real power –
    Knowing what happened.


    NED
    Just the facts, eh?


    PERSEY
    Who’s alive and who’s dead
    Who’s a demon pretending –
    Who’s a monster despoiling; only
    Mimicking life.


    NED
    (He gets right to the point)
    You think Jarod’s a demon?


    PERSEY
    I’m not willing to hang around him
    Long enough to find out.


    NED
    Here’s what I know –
    We’re all demonic
    In our own special way.


    PERSEY
    Speak for yourself.


    NED
    If these woods shelter corpses
    How come you’re still here?


    PERSEY
    ‘Cause my demon’s inquisitive.
    Trees can’t hurt you.
    These woods are a temple –
    A Most Sacred Place.
    Stupid people think they’re nowhere
    It’s the ultimate Somewhere.


    (The TREES swell pridefully. DIGGER runs up with a silk pair of zebra-striped harem pants – rather the worse for wear – dangling from his jaws.)


    PERSEY
    Oh Digger!
    You frustrating dog!


    NED
    (Snatches at the silk)
    Could be evidence of … something.


    PERSEY
    Even trees have their secrets.


    (Mockingly)


    Maybe Jarod’s wife, Stormee
    Dropped her pants in the woods.
    Not the first time, I’m sure.


    NED
    (Places his find in an evidence bag)
    Meow!
    Jarod’s finished with Misty?


    PERSEY
    Over Misty.
    Under Stormee.


    NED
    What’s the number of wives
    Jarod is up to?
    Never mustered more
    Than two wives, myself.
    I’m a single guy, now.


    (But PERSEY has picked up a stick and DIGGER is falling all over himself hoping she’s going to throw it. She conceals it behind her back and points him into the woods – he races towards nothing – then stops in confusion.)


    PERSEY
    You know what I want!
    Human! Person!


    (She knocks against her head)


    Skull. Go get it!


    (DIGGER slinks away. PERSEY drops the stick and brushes the dirt off her hands)


    PERSEY
    Jarod sheds wives seasonally
    Like the snake that he is.


    NED
    So what are you doing when
    You’re not nature-ing?


    PERSEY
    Reading and thinking.
    I sit on my deck and
    Gaze into the trees.

    NED
    Sounds relaxing.
    She’s a tree-worshiper, this one!


    (The TREES nod, bow, sigh.)


    PERSEY
    Do your missing have names?


    NED
    Eh?


    PERSEY
    You said there’s so many.
    Don’t these missing
    Have names?


    NED
    Everyone has names.
    Monikers, nicknames
    Aliases
    Given names, borrowed names
    Street names –
    Disguises; red herrings;
    Wish fulfillment – everyone.


    PERSEY
    So many lost women!


    NED
    Didn’t say they were women.
    Bi-curious, tri-curious
    Foraging wanderers
    Hitchhikers and travelers
    Tourists and runaways
    Just passing through.


    PERSEY
    Passing through HERE?


    NED
    Or somebody brought them.
    Along for the ride.


    PERSEY
    Why does nobody know?


    NED
    “High risk victims”. It’s a way
    Of saying nobody cares.


    (PERSEY is stunned. A TREE opens up and shakes out a full skeleton. DIGGER staggers back – TREE hands DIGGER the skull.)


    NED
    Success at last!


    (DIGGER leaves the skull at PERSEY’s feet and wags his tail. She drops instantly to hug and kiss him while he basks in her attentions)


    PERSEY
    (Lavishing DIGGER with love while NED looks bemused, even jealous)
    I knew you could do it!
    Smart dog! Who’s a puppy
    As clever as beautiful?
    Digger is! I’ll say!


    NED
    Wish I got that much attention
    For finding a bone.


    (Picking up the skull with the stick and turning it over reverently)


    You should take that dog on the road.


    PERSEY
    Probably should.
    He drives my mother-in-law crazy.


    NED
    Oh, a guard dog, too, is he?


    (Rubs DIGGER’s belly. DIGGER wallows shamelessly.)


    Now we need forensics, a search team of
    Real sniffer dogs.


    PERSEY
    (Standing up and brushing dirt off her thighs)
    REAL sniffer dogs?
    That’s all the thanks that poor Digger gets?

    NED
    (Puts the skull down carefully, pats DIGGER’s head)
    Good dog.


    (DIGGER snaps at the skull up again – NED blocks him – PERSEY grabs the dog’s collar)


    PERSEY
    Come on, Digger!


    (She leashes him.)


    Let’s go home. Our work here is done.


    NED
    Sorry, no.
    There’s papers to sign.


    PERSEY
    Paperwork, ugh!
    Nothing doing.
    My husband never likes me
    Getting involved.


    NED
    But you are involved, now.
    Aren’t you?


    PERSEY
    Can’t I be secret? A secret informant?
    After all, who needs to know?
    Maybe Jarod’s the killer!
    I’ll tell all about Jarod.
    Just keep ME a secret.


    NED
    Even informants have paperwork.
    You think your husband’s best friend’s a killer?
    There’s a dangerous liaison.


    PERSEY
    Do we have a deal?


    NED
    OK, I’ll bite.
    I’ll tell them I found it.


    PERSEY
    Sure, you take the credit.
    Digger prefers backrubs.


    NED
    What makes Jarod a killer?


    PERSEY
    He brags about killing.
    About his “justified kills”
    He’s cold and he’s fake
    Looks for every advantage.
    He likes people’s suffering.
    He says he kills people
    As part of his job.


    NED
    I heartily doubt it.
    Undercover’s a whole different ethos
    But word gets around.


    PERSEY
    The man lies like he breathes.


    NED
    Those guys specialize in
    Put-ons and disguises.


    PERSEY
    How about you?


    NED
    I’m one lone wolf.


    PERSEY
    Drinkers and braggers
    Find it hard to keep secrets.


    (NED offers his hand – They shake – he likes touching her)


    NED
    I’m interested in all you can tell me.
    We’ll have to work closely.

    PERSEY
    Solving puzzles –
    Making theories! Sounds
    Deliciously different. Now
    I’d better skedaddle. I’m running late.


    (DIGGER’s straining at the leash to be gone)


    NED
    I’ll keep in touch.


    PERSEY
    See you later.


    (She waves. Leaves with DIGGER. The DEADGIRLS and BOYGIRLS morph from the trees, reaching out their leafy arms longingly. NED stares after her thoughtfully.)