Alysse Aallyn

Category: #BestRevenge

  • The Missing Bride: a cellphone novel by Alysse Aallyn

    Chapter Five – Fantasy Wedding

    Mirabel cinched me tight.
    “There!” The mirror exposed a stranger.
    I was a new person.
    “Too much dress” said Mirabel,
    “But with skyscraper shoes…”
    From the closet she threw out bundles.


    “I’d rather wear flats,”
    I told her.
    She reproved: “Verne is very tall.”
    Who cares how tall HE is?
    “Bridesmaid shouldn’t tower over bride!”
    I suggested;
    Reining in the
    Clashing egos.


    In weird familial telepathy
    Mirabel declaimed,
    “Princess Richenda
    To the Dark Tower came.
    Just like Tarot cards.”
    I admired my nude, mirrored
    Ribboned back.
    “But how about your dress?”
    “You’ve seen it.”
    Like breath went out of her –
    She tossed it out – they were identical.


    How could that be?
    Wasn’t that too strange?
    I was gobsmacked –
    Never heard of bride and bridesmaid
    Wearing the same dress –
    Think of the confusing pictures –
    People getting entirely
    Wrong ideas.


    “Isn’t that bad luck?” I questioned;
    “The groom will see the gown
    Before they’re hitched” – Ending
    Lamely, “If you believe
    That sort of thing.”
    I petered out because
    No one DOES believe that sort of thing.
    “My dress is size “zero” –“
    Sniffed Mirabel –


    Competitive,
    Combative Mirabel, and I was silenced.
    She knocked my phone right out of my hand –
    Sussing out my efforts to bring in troops –
    Mom would NEVER approve of this!
    “No pictures till the wedding.”


    Her pressured speech rushed on –
    And on – “And now –
    we dress for dinner.”
    More fantasy clothes.
    I looked embarrassed at my
    Wrinkled skirt
    Discarded
    Carapace along the floor – shriveling
    Like my pride.


    Mirabel threw open mirrored
    Doors to reveal another bedroom –
    This one stocked with girlish stuff.
    “This room is yours -”
    She told me –
    “He’s staying at The Stanhope.”


    I blushed – I don’t know why –
    He’d called this residence “his” –
    But these closets were packed
    With Mirabel clothes so
    Where did I fit in?
    My sister unbound my dress –


    I’m not used to
    Clothes that need assistants.
    There’s no getting out of these gowns
    Without help.
    “These are yours -”


    Blue slits whose ruffles
    Matched my eyes –
    A dress with scales –
    Peekaboo and baby-doll
    Price tags proclaiming
    The less the dress the more the cost.


    No bras here either –
    And everything my size.
    What was going on?
    Angrily I chose heels to tower over
    Mirabel – we’ll see who’s boss –
    But she didn’t seem to mind.


    Her makeup kit delivered
    smoky eye, nude mouth and
    Emerald glitter.
    “Verne hates the kiss of
    Lipstick.” Who cares?
    These people kiss the air – I couldn’t
    Get the hang of this.


    She wore cherry red chinoiserie –
    Now I’m impostor too.
    “He’s waiting at the Stanhope Bar.”
    We were silent in the elevator.
    I clutched the fur I’d borrowed
    Feeling naked –


    Summoning up my nerve but
    Maribel seemed depressed.
    Deflated. Encumbered?
    With me? With Verne?
    With family obligation?
    Traditions I could
    Only guess at? I tried to play my role.
    “So… how did he propose?”


    My query’s gaucheness seemed
    Amplified by elevator doors
    Whose golden mirror
    Bent our beauty so
    Unflatteringly we seemed
    Haunted.


    “It’s not about when he proposed,” she
    Told me crisply, “but
    “When I accepted. He
    Proposed the first night we met –
    Five years ago –
    Said we’d marry –
    If he could get approval
    From his trustees.”
    Much to puzzle out in here!
    So trustees must propose to Mirabel?


    O Bad New World that has
    Such creatures in it.
    “Five years ago? Was this a secret?”
    Why didn’t anyone – snoopy Richenda in fact –
    Find this out?
    “He hates the press – “ says Mirabel,


    Whose explanations
    Don’t explain. “He
    Wants me to himself. And I was so unready –
    seeing other people…LOTS of other people.”
    Poor Verne!
    We nodded at the doorman,
    Safe beside the limo


    I whispered, “How’d he win
    You over?” But Mirabel
    Did not seem to want to discuss
    This sacred aspect of their story. She dismissed me.
    “He was so adoring.”


    She bundled me inside the car then
    Backed away confronted by a ghost.
    “I forgot something. Tell Verne I’ll be along.”


    The car swept away, leaving Mirabel
    Huddled by the curb – overwhelmed by
    Her mink coat.

  • The Missing Bride: a cellphone novel by Alysse Aallyn

    Chapter Three – Fifth Avenue

    Relief to turn away


    And make what I could of the street outside.


    New York City! But


    All I saw was dark and dingy.


    On Fifth Avenue; nonstop parade of glittery storefronts &
    Entitled shoppers.


    Glamorous trousseau fun!
    . Our limo pulls up to Questrina,
    Sets off parking lights;
    A woman rushed through the double doors offering
    Glossy green dress bags in outstretched hands-


    Driver swept them to the car and we were off again.
    “Your clothes,” explained Verne.
    Excitement, confusion; the
    Disappointment that
    Always follows bait and switch:


    You get SOMETHING
    Just not what you expected.
    Had my dress been chosen for me?
    “I thought Maribel and I-“
    “Oh, there’s lots for you to do,”
    He dismissed.


    Surprised he didn’t offer
    Lollies to distract me.
    “Here we are,” says would-be groom.
    “My place.”
    A skyscraper on Fifth Avenue?


    Shiny red and black doorman – general
    Of a third world country –
    Rushed the curb. “Your lordship.”
    I thought my ears unplugged.
    Had I heard this right?
    Did he speak American and
    was Verne in fact, “a lord”?


    I should have watched those damned
    Downton Abbey episodes my folks begged me to see
    instead of proudly sequestering with Japanese anime.
    Limo driver brought all bags –
    He had to use a different elevator.


    43 floor ride,
    black & gold enameled door thrown open on the penthouse
    there stood Mirabel.

    Chapter Four : The Lost Sister

    My eyes filled with tears and I realized
    How much I’d feared that
    This was all a scam.
    “Darling!”


    She waved her skinny arms and kissed the air.
    “Mwah! Mwah! You escaped!”
    I couldn’t touch her –
    We laughed and laughed.
    She gave Verne a burning look –
    “Get us drinks”


    And dragged me –
    Literally DRAGGED me into
    A double-doored bedroom and
    Swept me down upon a white flokati rug.
    We were children again –
    Conspiring & strategizing together or
    She played all the parts and I
    Gazed on adoringly.


    She took control with those hypnotic eyes
    While my school self asked,
    IS this really Mirabel?
    So much smaller than my memory –
    Disappearing before my eyes in fact,
    As she had managed to do my whole entire
    Life; darker – blond all gone –


    I know I’m taller now, but how could this tiny thing
    Have ever been a supermodel?
    Someone rattled at the door – Mirabel called –
    “We’re dressing!”
    Pulled me into giggle –
    “Leave it!”


    Covered my mouth signalling with her
    Humongous eyes –
    Crawling to the door she –
    Peeked out –
    Pulled in a
    Champagne bucket and a pair of flutes.


    “Grooms get in the WAY!”
    She laughed and toasted me.
    “But men! You know!”
    She gasped and gagged as if
    She’d never had such wine.
    I sipped sedately.


    Judgingly
    As I’d learned to do with grown-ups.
    Who was this Mirabel?
    The way she carved me
    With her eyes
    She must be real
    Yet something smelled
    Imposture.

    I just don’t know –
    I’m far too new –
    It’s far too weird.
    She leaned to touch my hair.
    “I always thought
    They should have named you
    Anne.”


    The door opened and Verne stood over us
    Looking down reprovingly.
    Mirabel blanched –
    I thought because she’d said
    He’s not to enter –
    But he was mild enough


    Laying dress bags along the bed
    Reproachfully
    As if to ask
    “How can you dress without dresses?”
    Then he was gone
    The door slightly left ajar.
    Mirabel clicked it closed with her foot.
    She called, “See you at dinner!”


    I felt sorry for poor Verne
    But when we heard the outer door click Mirabel rose
    and unzipped the bags.
    She topped off her glass with
    Vodka from a bottle by the bed.
    “It’s such bad champagne,” she excused,
    “In Europe, babies drink this stuff.”


    I studied the bottle –
    Beau Joie Brut Special Cuvée –
    A brute champagne.
    Tasted fine to me – like
    Sharpest winter air.


    Mirabel offered her bottle.
    “No thanks.”
    She drained her tulip glass.
    ”You’ve certainly changed,” she commented.
    Did I drink vodka at eight years old?
    I said, “So have you.”


    “I’m darker now. Verne wouldn’t look at blondes.”
    Too bad, I thought. I’d hoped she’d find a different type of guy.
    “Is he really a lord?”
    Maribel rolled her eyes.
    “Unfortunately.” At my surprise she added –
    “It always seems to mean you can’t do
    Anything you want.”


    She shrugged.
    “At least the restaurants like it.”
    “And you’ll be –“
    “Lady Verne.”
    She shrugged; unexcited
    By the prospect. Seemed
    The opposite of what
    Old Maribel would have thought.


    “So, you just met?”
    “Oh no, we’ve been together FOREVER –
    And only now we tie the knot. But you!”
    She spun me all around.
    “You’re so tall! And thin!”
    “I eat like a horse”
    I apologized


    I grow too fast – all my friends are vegan
    But I eat
    Everything –
    “I can’t seem to fast.”
    “Wait till after the wedding,”
    Said Maribel


    “Then just do a purge.
    “Think you’d fit a four?”
    The dress she pulled was pale gold,
    fairytale dress with endless puffy skirt.
    My gasp relaxed Mirabel’s face.
    She smiled.


    “I’m sure I could!”
    almost dropped my wineglass in
    my excitement to try it on.
    Stripped down to my unsightly sports bra
    And boy’s brief pants.


    “Can’t wear a bra with this one,” says Mirabel.
    “I’ll do you up.”
    She gazed too long –
    A man’s gaze I thought –
    I turned away.

  • The Missing Bride: a cellphone novel by Alysse Aallyn

    Chapter Two: @Valerian

    What does Mirabel look like now?


    When I turned ten


    I followed all her modeling pages
    But there’s been nothing for the past
    Three years.


    I was smart enough to know
    that airbrushed people
    don’t look like that in real life.
    Mirabel had been so gorgeous;


    those huge eyes and perfect Roman nose seemed to promise
    a matching depth of soul.
    We all want to believe that beautiful people
    Get everything they need from life;


    yet I remembered the Mirabel I’d known.
    She’d never come back to this family fold
    unless something had gone horribly wrong.
    As my train slid into the darkness of the Grand Central tunnel
    I texted the number I’d been given with “Train on time”


    followed by a happiness emoji. Then of course I wanted to delete it
    But wasn’t I – as the only bridesmaid –
    Obligated to act excited?
    I’d never done any of this before –
    It’s Brave New World to me.


    The response wasn’t from Mirabel at all but labelled
    @Valerian: “I’m meeting you. Mirabel otherwise occupied as usual.
    Look out for red hunting coat.”
    Who was Valerian? Where was Mirabel?
    Was this the fiancé who had her phone?
    If that was the deal from the beginning
    Mom and Dad would never let me come.


    Here’s Mirabel at her core – proficient
    In the art of “softening people up”
    Which never meant the truth.
    Dad says Mirabel always “plays the inside straight”
    Some disparaging poker term.


    As the train lurched to a stop I stood up and studied myself in the
    Mirrored windows. The girl “Valerian” would see
    Looked good enough in gray skirt with shiny thigh high patent
    leather boots and recently highlighted auburn hair. Nothing like
    Mirabel’s blond gorgeousness of course. But
    Out from beneath Mom’s thumb


    I’d added to my eye makeup – Mom frowns on false lashes –
    Because
    looking ready for my moment
    gives me hope.
    I hadn’t answered the text:
    Stranger Danger just too strong.
    I’d Uber myself – if I knew where I was going.
    But I wanted the chance to
    Look at him before he looked


    At me. That would work
    Unless
    He was the one who’d tried to
    Friend me –
    Meaning he’d seen all my pictures?
    Ugh.
    You want to be seen and yet somehow
    Not.


    We project ourselves into others’ eyes –
    I want to be seen in a certain way –
    Where I control reactions!
    Of course it makes no sense
    And that’s what diaries are for – endlessly
    Trying to reshape
    Cellphone diary fantasy. But
    There he was


    right by the escalators, standing out in his red coat.
    Mirabel would never descend to the tracks.
    A tall, distinguished looking man
    in his thirties probably, very thin –
    dark pants and a red down jacket.
    The closer I got the more
    Startlingly handsome was that weathered knife-planed face –


    Beneath dark glasses – he
    broke into smiles at the sight of me.
    No hope of escape –
    If I thought anything it was –
    “He’s better than I dreamed!”
    Made it easier forging some new
    Relation with my uncomfortably lost sister.
    He reached for my bag


    Kissed the top of my forehead
    Dry lips
    – tasting sweat and foundation.
    “Richenda?”
    English accent. “I
    Recognized you immediately.
    You look just like Mirabel. It’s the eyes.”


    I felt a gush of pleasure at
    Such baseless flattery –
    Wanted to argue
    “I am not!” but
    Zines do say we girls
    must learn accepting compliments.
    Sooner rather than never.
    “Er, thanks.”
    So ungraceful.


    “What happened to Mirabel?”
    “Unavoidably detained.”
    He swept both me and bag away from the escalator
    Down the platform.
    “We’ll take the elevator to the car service.”
    Actually, a limo.
    The driver rushed to take my
    pathetic flowered bag. Did the driver
    and this so far unintroduced man
    know each other – casually or
    permanent – hard to say.


    “You’re the fiancé?” I stuttered out.
    He seemed surprised.
    “Sorry,” he said, bundling me into the limo, “It’s
    Wedding nerves. I’m Philip Valerian. Everyone calls me Verne.”
    I couldn’t stop laughing.


    “Mom thought your name was Rupert Golden!”
    Verne didn’t find this amusing.
    “Some previous swain,” he huffed.
    Wedding nerves?
    Exactly right.
    He was jumpy,
    Fingers drumming on my knee.
    I was alone with
    @Valerian.

  • The Missing Bride: a cellphone novel by Alysse Aallyn

    Chapter 1 : Surprise Wedding

    I’m Richenda


    Fourteen and
    I used to be bored.
    Winter breaks were especially glacial


    Till just recently –


    Right before dinner
    Mom
    Put her head around my door :
    “You won’t believe what happened!”
    What could excite such
    A dull person?


    But I lacked comparisons because
    This never happened before.
    Slammed my book shut because –
    Geometry is paralyzing –
    And joined the
    Guessing game.


    “We won Powerball?”
    “Your sister’s coming home!
    To get married!”
    I hadn’t seen Mirabel –ten years older – in eight years.
    Truth to tell, I could barely remember her.
    A lifetime ago. “Why?”


    Mom – never invited in –
    Leaned against the
    INSIDE
    Of my door.
    “Make up for the past.”
    Is that even possible?
    Or does she want a free wedding?


    Mirabel was ALWAYS
    Always always always
    About the money.
    “So who’s she marrying?”
    “I think his name was something like Rupert Golden.”

    “I didn’t want to ask her to wait while I got a pen.
    She said she’d send details. You know how she hates
    Snooping.”
    Everyone hates snooping, I thought.


    Mirabel hates
    Accountability.
    Snooping can be fun
    If you’re the one doing it.
    Addictive.
    “Rupert Golden’s no real name,” was all I had
    To contribute.
    Mom gave me her
    “Like you’re the expert” face.


    But fourteen year olds DO
    Know everything.
    We just forget
    Distracted so easily.
    We’ll be a whole family again
    for the first time in – ages.”
    So she can leave us again, I thought.


    I knew.
    I’d always been
    Weirdly tuned from
    Mirabel
    “Murble”
    I called her
    When I learned to speak
    The dazzling goddess of my
    Dappled infancy.


    Parents are nonsensical.
    All they cared was that
    She was willing to pretend
    for whatever short period
    that things are copacetic at the family manse.


    Parents love pretending.
    “When’s this happening
    happening?’
    “Unsettled,” said Mom.
    “She wants your help to buy a dress.”
    “Me?”


    Up to that second I’d been a
    Peeper at
    The Family Drama.
    Did I want to participate?
    What choice did I have?


    “You’ll be her only bridesmaid so she wants your
    dresses to match,” said Mom,
    But slowly as if just realizing
    What stupidity she spoke.


    “You go up tomorrow night
    and the two of you come back Sunday.”
    How had she agreed to this?
    She still wasn’t happy.


    “Unless… perhaps I’d drive you?”
    “I’ve taken trains before,”
    I said, trying to keep the baby whine
    Out of my voice.
    “I’m fourteen years old!”
    “But it’s the city,” wailed Mom


    Panic flaring.
    “I’ve been to the city before, too,” I said.
    School field trips!!!
    Alone? First time for everything.


    “She said she’d meet the five o’clock train,”
    sighed Mom,
    Obviously wondering
    How had she agreed to this?
    I almost didn’t like it.


    So some strange woman
    Could call Mom up and
    Gain more freedom for me
    Than I’d ever managed?


    It’s a gift.
    Don’t criticize its teeth.
    “It won’t be dark yet,”
    I said blithely.


    “So is that where she’s living? In the city?”
    Rumors of international travel had reached us
    when Mirabel’s modeling cancelled.
    And all this time she’s
    Twenty miles away?


    Mom seemed so unhappy.
    “I’m not sure,” she admitted.
    “Maybe it’s Rupert’s place.
    I’ll be trusting your good sense.”


    She certainly can’t trust Mirabel,
    I thought. Someone in this family
    Needs to do some serious snooping.


    That night someone named
    Philip Valerian
    Tried friending me on Facebook.
    I turned him down
    Like a bedspread, I
    Don’t talk to strangers.

  • Woman Into Wolf: the play

    (Scene 10 – The Deep Woods. DIGGER dragging, carrying, lifting PERSEY’s unconscious body into the trees. He stands guard, howling dramatically. The WOLF SPIRITS appear, nose her, cherish her, lift her, clean her with leaves. They dress her in a wolf skin, prop her up, and dance with her. She slowly comes to life, dancing like a Maenad with leaves in her hair. The WOLF SPIRITS pull back and PERSEY’s house opens up stage left where BABE stands waiting to greet DIGGER & PERSEY)


    BABE
    Persey! What happened to you?
    (Looking disapprovingly at the litter of champagne bottles)
    This place is a mess!


    PERSEY
    Jarod happened to me. I’m changed forever.


    (Throws herself into a chair. DIGGER, thorns & thistles in his fur, settles down protectively beside her to clean his fur.)


    BABE
    (Kicking an empty champagne bottle)
    You’re too old for wild parties.
    Time to act like the mother
    Of my future grandkids!


    PERSEY
    I am nobody’s mother and
    I never will be, Babe. It’s over.
    Everything’s broken.
    Broken and lost.

    BABE
    (Shrieking)
    Here’s the thanks I get for
    Giving you everything!
    I’m a sick woman!
    And you’re the one killing me!


    (DIGGER leaps to his feet and bares his teeth. BABE halts her attack
    before physical violence)


    PERSEY
    Roy murdered Bruce, Babe,
    He told me himself!
    Roy loves Jarod more than he’ll ever love me.
    I think he wishes he WAS Jarod
    Who’s probably a wife-killer.
    THAT’S your real family!


    BABE
    (Forcing calm, sits down beside her)
    Oh, I see what went wrong.
    Persey, you must understand;
    Roy talks crazy sometimes
    But he never means it.
    It’s fun scaring girls.
    This is really YOUR fault.
    Admit, you love provoking him
    With dubious friendships.


    PERSEY
    Why does the world need a scapegoat?
    None of this is my friend’s doing!


    BABE
    Persey, set your heart
    At rest. I’ll prove to you
    Roy didn’t kill Bruce!


    PERSEY
    How can you POSSIBLY do that?


    BABE
    Because Roy IS Bruce.


    (The WOLF SPIRITS howl. Portrait lights up. DIGGER sits up at attention.)


    Everyone knows it but you!
    Don’t tell me YOU never figured it out!


    PERSEY
    Now YOU’RE talking crazy, Babe!
    Bruce went to jail! A felon and rapist
    A cowardly bully.


    BABE
    It’s YOUR fault I’m telling you.
    You chose college over Roy,
    You broke my poor boy’s heart.
    He was so angry at women
    At men who pretend
    He became dangerous.
    I lived in fear daily
    All because of you!


    PERSEY
    I just don’t get it, Babe.
    What are you telling me?
    I know Bruce was born.
    You had twins – did you or didn’t you?


    BABE
    I gave birth to twin boys
    While a child myself
    In a foreign country, don’t forget,
    With a shaky young marriage.
    I had no help at all.
    I tried so hard but
    I had no milk for twins.
    Roy was the weakest who
    Needed me most.
    Bruce seemed strong but died anyway –
    Roy’s father was furious! Our marriage
    Dead at that moment.
    There were two separate trust funds, Persey!
    The old ones didn’t need it.
    Wasting money is wrong!


    PERSEY
    Let me get this straight.
    You PRETENDED Bruce was alive?


    BABE
    It was a game at first, understand;
    A rainy-day joke!
    A beleaguered mother’s brave effort
    To turn frowns upside down.
    Without Roy’s father we needed the money!
    When Roy was bad, he was Bruce.
    When he behaved, he was Roy.
    But when he grew up he became
    Bruce all the time –
    Doing terrible things.
    It wasn’t my fault! I
    Couldn’t manage him and his Dad was ghosting us!


    (She spits into a lace-trimmed handkerchief.)


    Weak men run away!
    Don’t you see that, poor Persey?
    At least Roy is still here! We’re
    Lucky to have him!

    (PERSEY covers her face. So BABE argues with the audience.)


    BABE
    After my husband died, I saw so much
    Possibility. Second chances! We could
    Get rid of Bruce for once and for all.
    A beautiful ceremony – burying
    The things Bruce had broken.
    The costliest grave site
    With doves and balloons.
    Roy swore it was over.
    He promised GOD. When he forgets
    We go there to remind him.


    PERSEY
    (Struggling to keep up)
    You’re saying Roy is the one…


    BABE
    (Ignoring interruptions)
    I admit I made errors. These were
    Battlefield choices.
    When you’re a mother, Persey,
    You’ll understand.
    There’s SO MUCH regret. But
    How is Roy’s acting out my fault?
    YOU had abandoned him
    Saying you wanted OTHERS!
    Take responsibility, Persey!
    I’ve owned up to my part.
    Roy gave himself to you.
    He’s a one-woman man.
    You toyed with his heart,
    Chose COLLEGE over love!
    Of course he was angry.
    Of course he went crazy
    Bruce came back with a vengeance!
    You didn’t help MY life,
    I’ll tell you that.
    He offered you everything!


    PERSEY
    Roy attacked and raped people?
    It was Roy who went to jail?


    BABE
    When Roy went to prison it was a miracle
    I was so grateful we had
    A spare name to give him!
    Clever planning and foresight is what
    Breeds second chances.
    Young men founder with blotted
    Escutcheons! Jarod was SUCH
    A good friend; claiming Roy had been
    In his unit. When Roy was released
    Bruce could just vanish. But when Roy’s
    Unpredictable I MUST be
    Trustee. Increasing our holdings
    Made my son hate me more!
    We need to start over, Persey!
    This time you must help.


    PERSEY
    (Slow, incredulous)
    Your son is a killer!
    I’ll have nothing to do with it!


    BABE
    He only kills teases!
    Vermin and tramps!
    I thought I’d explained.
    You weren’t getting pregnant! You
    Forced Roy into testing,
    Questioned his virility! What man
    Accepts THAT? Now, this misery’s
    Behind us, if Brucie stays DEAD.
    Don’t rile Roy up!
    There’s the future to think about.


    PERSEY
    (Launching to her feet)
    Why can’t you face truth?
    Your son is a murderer
    And Jarod is helping him!
    Roy murdered Jarod’s wife
    In some sort of pay off!’


    BABE
    (Slaps PERSEY’s face hard.)
    Keep your voice down in my house!
    Don’t say this around Roy!
    Jarod’s keeping him safe!
    He’s the only man Roy can
    Look up to, or even respect.
    Boys need role models, don’t you see?
    To learn how to play! Jarod’s my hero.


    PERSEY
    Your family is poisoned, Babe.
    Your “truth” is a lie.


    (ROY’s voice offstage)


    ROY
    We got him, Darlin’!
    We captured the guy!


    BABE
    (Grabbing PERSEY’s arm)
    Don’t tell him you know!
    Roy will kill me, Persey
    I’m a sick woman!


    PERSEY
    Babe, please understand.
    Only truth lets us breathe.


    BABE
    (Pointing to the door)
    Get out! Get out of my house!


    (PERSEY and DIGGER exit)

  • Woman Into Wolf: the play

    (Scene 9. Lights up on PERSEY House set where ROY & JAROD wrestle by firelight while the hot tub smokes suggestively and the eyes in the portrait track their movements. NED & PERSEY at the door. WOLF SPIRITS gather around and on top of the house, eyes blinking on & off. NED beckons JAROD aside, puts an arm around him – they exit together)


    (PERSEY throws herself into ROY’s arms – he seems unresponsive)


    ROY
    (Holding PERSEY at arm’s length)
    What did you do?


    PERSEY
    (Still trying to connect with him)
    Oh, Roy, it was awful!
    Poor Stormee is dead!


    ROY
    She was disloyal.
    Didn’t she deserve it?


    PERSEY
    What do you mean?
    Jarod controlled her every move.


    ROY
    Naw. I’m hearing she strayed.
    Seems there’s lots of that
    Going around.


    (ROY pushes her away – DIGGER growls and poises for attack. ROY kicks at him. PERSEY orders him out of the house – DIGGER slinks away – to gather with the WOLF SPIRITS protecting the house. PERSEY thinks ROY just doesn’t understand.)


    PERSEY
    I found her dead, Roy.
    Stormee’s been murdered.


    ROY
    That’s not all you found, is it?
    Better stop lying!


    PERSEY
    (Very offended)
    I’m not lying!


    ROY
    Oh yeah? Weren’t you making kissy face
    With that snooping cop who’s harassing my mother?


    PERSEY
    What are you talking about?
    I’m making “kissy face”
    With nobody but you!


    ROY
    And then there’s that she-male
    You pal around with!
    What’s that about?
    Don’t my wishes mean anything?
    Those creatures spread sickness.


    PERSEY
    Bish is my friend!
    YOU’RE covered with
    “Wrestling burns”, thanks to Jarod!
    What’s THAT about?
    I found Stormee the way you two wanted –
    And now I’ll have nightmares
    Forever and ever.


    (Dispiritedly she undresses and climbs into hot tub)


    ROY
    Welcome to reality, princess.
    I know you’re still hiding something!
    That cop’s got your number!


    (WOLF SPIRITS & DIGGER howl without restraint – ROY snatches a shotgun out of the umbrella stand)


    PERSEY
    Roy, for God’s sake!
    Who’s hiding from whom?
    That cop asked ME to find out
    If Bruce is really dead!


    (Eyes move as portrait lights dramatically)


    ROY
    Bruce? Of course Bruce is dead!
    I killed him myself!
    In a battle to the death
    There’s only one winner.


    PERSEY
    You did not! You couldn’t have!


    ROY
    That’s all the credit you give me!
    No wonder my buddies are thinking
    I’m de-balled, like your mutt!
    Nobody tames ME, Sweetmeat.
    And you know what else I’m gonna do?
    I’m going to shoot me a canine!


    PERSEY
    DON’T YOU DARE!


    (Marches to the door where he almost runs into JAROD who is wheeling a case of champagne on a dolly)


    JAROD
    Whoa, buddy!
    Where are you headed?


    (Wrestles shotgun away, dumps it)
    This party just started!


    ROY
    Aren’t I your alibi?

    JAROD
    Hell no! DNA!
    They got a condom
    Overflowing with man juice!


    ROY
    Where’d they get that, I wonder?


    JAROD
    You ought to know!
    Don’t you trust me, ol’ buddy? Everything’s
    Fixed. They got a culprit!
    We’re partyin’ here.


    ROY
    Hear that, Persey?
    They caught the guy that did Stormee!


    JAROD
    First, capture the love juice, then
    String the guy up.


    (WOLF SPIRITS & DIGGER howl)


    Man, you’ve got a wolf problem.


    ROY
    I know! Let’s go hunting!


    JAROD
    You kidding me?

    ROY
    Party first, fireworks after!


    (He shakes up a bottle of champagne and shoots it at ROY. ROY, dripping, grabs a bottle to shoot at JAROD. Merriment – not shared by PERSEY)


    PERSEY
    I take it we’re celebrating
    Your instant divorce?


    JAROD
    (Kneeling by the hot tub)
    Birthday champagne for you,
    Persey. Primo stuff. Some people die
    Some people get born.
    The party goes on.
    Word on the street is
    You like champagne.


    PERSEY
    You know nothing about
    What I love and hate.


    ROY
    This Champagne’s Persey’s favorite.
    She uses a glass, though.


    (He exits. JAROD leans over, looking suggestively into the water)


    JAROD
    Looking for company?


    PERSEY
    (Flicking water on him)
    No. Go away.


    (JAROD strips down, slides in, clutching his champagne bottle.)


    JAROD
    Can’t dampen the drowned, darlin’.
    I’m ALWAYS all in.


    (He starts climbing in – PERSEY turns her back on him, tries to climb out – he stops her)


    Have a heart, Persey. You’re being mean
    To a heartbroken widower.


    PERSEY
    You better get your hands off me
    Before Roy sees you.


    JAROD
    Sweet cheeks
    This was ALL his idea.


    (ROY appears with champagne glass and kneels on PERSEY’s other side)


    ROY
    Here you go, cupcake’.
    Fertility meds served up in Baccarat
    Just how you like ‘em.

    (He holds her jaw, pours champagne in her mouth. PERSEY tries to get out, they both hold her down.)


    Not so fast, hon.
    It’s past time to make babies.


    (PERSEY begins to thrash wildly)


    JAROD
    Don’t waste energy, Persey.
    Two against one.


    ROY
    Yeah. Hunters in tandem
    Bring down any game.


    (They swarm over her. Lights out.)

  • Woman Into Wolf: the play

    Act 3 Scene 8
    (The forest outside JAROD’s house. PERSEY is dragging DIGGER along by his collar.)


    PERSEY


    DIGGER! I need you!
    What the heck is your problem?


    (DIGGER is doing everything he can to stall and resist. TREES surge, rustle, threaten. WOLVES howl.)


    Are you scared of coyotes?
    I thought they were your friends.


    (DIGGER covers his ears with his paws and cowers.)
    I’m ashamed of you.
    Such a scaredy cat!


    (Bossy mother)


    They’re more afraid of you
    Than you are of them.
    We trespass in THEIR forest.
    Ssssh! Hear them talking?
    Maybe if we listen
    We‘ll understand their secret.


    (Calls softly)


    Cookie, Monica, Jean,
    Mina and Jo Lee … DaToy and
    Mary Louise… Jane and John Doe…

    (The TREES moan and shiver their leaves)

    See? They’re helpers, not haters!
    Believe me, a forest is safer
    Than most strangers are!
    Native Americans say
    The trees are our home.


    (Eyes appear glittering between the trees. DIGGER and PERSEY react fearfully. PERSEY tries to master her fear to be brave for DIGGER)


    Cookie, Monica, Jean, Mina,
    DaToy and Jo Lee, Jane and John
    Are you there?
    (The eyes turn into beautiful women wearing wolf heads; the WOLF SPIRITS.)


    WOLF SPIRITS
    (Sing)
    Welcome to The Forest…the center of life…
    Holds the mystery of death.


    (They dance with DIGGER and PERSEY who are at first frightened and awkward, then ecstatic & surrendering. One Spirit gives PERSEY a gift. Then slowly they pull back into the dancing trees. DIGGER wants to go with them but PERSEY jerks him back)


    PERSEY
    Digger, I need you to stay with me now.
    Did you see them?
    So many – I never expected …

    (DIGGER waves his tail sadly at the departing WOLF SPIRITS. PERSEY studies her gift…a hairclip with a hair extension attached.)

    I’ve seen this before.
    (Falls to her knees)
    This is Stormee’s. Now I’m REALLY scared.


    (At last DIGGER alerts. Sniffs the clip and commences racing around. Finds more bloodied “evidence” to lay at PERSEY’s feet. STORMEE emerges from the trees looking different – scary yet exalted. Her dress is a mass of red streamers. She dances, then collapses gracefully in a heap – PERSEY finds the body – scream – light out.)

  • Woman Into Wolf: the play

    (NED the cop exits; having to push vines aside. DIGGER runs out between his legs to dance with his friends. PERSEY throws herself on sofa, dials phone. Cell phone rings on BISH making his way through audience. Ring tone is Strangers In Paradise.)


    BISH
    Persey! You’re just the person!


    (He leans on an audience chair arm, settling down for a nice chat.)
    What’s up?


    PERSEY
    You’ll never believe what happened!


    BISH
    I can’t wait to hear!
    And I‘ve got news of my own. I…
    Met some special someone.


    PERSEY
    Well, this is incredible!
    We’ll have to celebrate!
    That cop came here…
    The cop I told you about…

    BISH
    Oh, the wordsmith?
    Persey, don’t we want action?


    PERSEY
    He doesn’t think Roy’s brother
    Really is dead!


    BISH
    Persey, how bizarre!


    PERSEY
    Turns out Bruce was a rapist
    Who served four years in jail
    Then he vanished.
    But his fingerprints turned up
    At my woodland crime scene!


    BISH
    Oooo PERSEY I’m shivering!
    It’s so sick what you’re saying!


    PERSEY
    If BRUCE is alive…


    (She hesitates with a shocking realization)


    BISH
    Persey! What?
    Tell me.

    PERSEY
    Roy would kill him.
    Remember that portrait?


    (The Portrait lights up & participates, the little boys writhe like spirits in hell)


    BISH
    That you said he’d destroy?


    PERSEY
    He says he’s keeping it
    To remind him that Bruce
    Can never hurt him again.


    BISH
    Oooo Persey, your husband
    Is so full of surprises.


    PERSEY
    Wait. I’m getting a call.
    It’s Roy. Gotta go.
    Talk about your crush next time?


    BISH
    Hard to compete with a family like yours.
    My life was SO unexciting till I met
    Mr. Right Now!


    PERSEY
    Bish! Hasta Manana!

    (Lights off on BISH who perambulates along his way, Lights up on ROY and JAROD lounging together at the side of the theatre)


    PERSEY
    Hi, hon. What can I do for you?


    ROY
    Puddin’, Jarod and I need you
    To check up on Stormee.
    She was coming for lunch but
    She never showed and her phone
    Has gone dead.


    PERSEY
    Oh, Roy…


    (Writhing – she just LOATHES STORMEE)


    Can’t Jarod go look?


    JAROD
    (Taking the phone)
    Sweetmeat, we’re stuck here.
    Payin’ the bill. Gotta
    Get back to work.
    You’re close by. I’m … concerned.


    (Wheedling)


    Won’t you do this one little thing
    For your favorite guys?

    PERSEY
    (Totally furious at hearing from JAROD)
    Fine. Tell Roy I love him.


    JAROD
    Oh, we know, sugartits.
    Believe me, we know.


    (The men giggle conspiratorially and lean together. Lights off.)

  • Woman Into Wolf: the play

    Scene 7
    (Later. PERSEY’s house. She wears cleaning overall and carries duster & spray can. NED the cop in plain clothes knocks at the door. She’s surprised to see him.)


    NED
    (Very relaxed, strides in carrying folders)
    Some place you’ve got here.
    Looks like your help has help.


    PERSEY
    We’re do-it-yourselfers.
    Um…how can I assist?


    NED
    Ready to work?
    (Shakes the folders at her)


    PERSEY
    I am working.


    NED
    This is real work,
    Not playing house.
    Aren’t you supposed to be
    My confidential Informant?
    Saw your husband depart so figured
    Now’s a good time.
    Keepin’ it downlow.
    How about coffee?


    PERSEY
    (She looks appalled but can’t think how to get out of this. DIGGER lifts an uninterested head and goes back to sleep.)
    Um…sure.


    (She wanders out. NED strides around the room, looking at everything. Scratches DIGGER behind ears, Pokes into things, wanders up to the portrait, which glares at him)


    NED
    Whoa, Nellie!


    (PERSEY returns sans housecoat & duster, bearing a tray of coffee. NED gestures at the portrait)


    NED
    This is quite something.


    PERSEY
    Yes, isn’t it?
    (She pours)


    NED
    That’s a lot of knives.
    Your husband’s a collector?


    PERSEY
    Boys love toys.
    Sugar? Cream?


    NED
    I could use something sweet.
    One of those painted kids is
    Your man, I presume?


    PERSEY
    (Sitting down – she’s had it with that portrait)
    That’s what they say.
    But no one knows which.


    NED
    Oh, I think I can tell.


    PERSEY
    (Very disbelieving)
    They’re identical twins!


    NED
    (Confident)
    Sure. One is a felon and the other
    Married you. Think that wouldn’t show?


    PERSEY
    A felon?


    NED
    (Less certain)
    Nobody told you?


    PERSEY
    Bruce went to jail?


    NED
    The guy was a rapist.
    (He opens file)
    He served four years.


    PERSEY
    My God!


    NED
    That’s my question, in fact.
    There’s a gravesite and obituary…
    But I can’t find a certificate.


    PERSEY
    Let me see.


    (He hands her the file – contents projected on walls. Disturbing newspaper articles, black and white photos)


    I was worlds away in college
    Roy was in the army.
    I never met Bruce.
    Babe– she’s my mother-in-law
    Says Bruce killed himself.


    NED
    Suicide never makes obits.
    Family shame – there’s the rub.
    Good coffee by the way.
    You like it strong, just like I do.
    Most people can’t handle that.
    (Studied calm)
    So you think something’s funny
    About Bruce’s demise?


    PERSEY
    For the first time that seems likely.
    A handsome young man,
    With his own trust fund,
    A bully who adored showing others his power.
    Suddenly he has an actual motive for offing himself.


    NED
    (His turn to be disbelieving)
    Family shame, you are thinking?
    Some sense of remorse?


    PERSEY
    I know his mom pretty well.
    Rape she could cover.
    But prison…


    NED
    Mom’s OK with rape?


    PERSEY
    She’s a tad narcissistic.


    NED
    Ah. Would you say that it’s possible…
    That Bruce is alive?


    (WOLVES howl. DIGGER lifts his head and joins in. NED catches PERSEY’s cup as PERSEY drops it)

    PERSEY
    JESUS!


    (DIGGER goes to window – all excited.)


    It’s those coyotes. I’m afraid
    Digger’s in love with them.


    NED
    Hey, we all envy the wild.
    Sorry I upset you.


    PERSEY
    (Filled with revulsion and distaste)
    Bruce CAN’T be alive.
    . If he is alive, then where is he?
    Roy says that he’s dead and
    He couldn’t fool Roy.
    Roy hated his brother but now
    He’s been set free. He replaced
    Bruce with Jarod who
    Gives him esteem.
    Not even their mother
    Keeps that kind of secret.


    NED
    Work with me here.
    Let’s imagine –
    Just for argument –
    Bruce was paid to vanish and
    The money ran out.
    What would he do?


    PERSEY
    (Cynically)
    The money NEVER runs out.


    NED
    Wow. If you say so!


    PERSEY
    Roy’s mom isn’t clever
    And she’s not really subtle.
    I can read between HER lines.
    She acts like something’s missing
    That Roy took away.
    Bruce’s death explains that.


    NED
    You think your husband
    Murdered his brother?


    PERSEY
    What is it with everyone?
    That’s NOT what I think!


    NED
    But somebody does?


    PERSEY
    One thing’s guaranteed;
    If Bruce is alive,
    Roy knows nothing about it.


    NED
    (Gentle irony)
    So, in your case the wife
    Is the first one to know?
    Your husband can’t lie?
    Kudos to both of you.


    PERSEY
    I know my own husband!
    YOUR marriages didn’t take
    So, what do YOU know?
    Bruce was Roy’s twin!
    It’s a special relationship.


    NED
    Would you say he loved his brother?


    PERSEY
    Hated him. Bruce was the favorite.
    Roy never came into his own
    Till his brother died.
    But if he thought for a moment that
    Bruce could appear…he’d act totally different.
    I just know it.


    NED
    You’re pretty confident
    In your ability to read people.


    PERSEY
    I can read THESE people.


    NED
    Kudos to ME picking
    Confidential Informants.

    PERSEY
    (She fears he is mocking her but he’s very straight faced.)
    So, what is it you want
    Me to do for you exactly?


    NED
    Get me a death certificate.


    PERSEY
    This was supposed to concern Jarod!


    NED
    I say what this concerns.
    That’s how this thing works.
    You’re a better authority
    On this family than on Gunver.


    PERSEY
    (She just hates this job)
    Well, Babe is a packrat and
    Bruce’s room is a shrine.
    Her house is a castle.
    I could look for it there. Or…
    I could ask her.


    NED
    I’d appreciate it.
    She won’t return calls.

    (PERSEY rises as if to show him out but NED sits like a log. He not going anywhere.)


    PERSEY
    (A bit desperately)
    Why Bruce?
    And why now?


    NED
    His fingerprints turned up
    Recall that pink shoe in the woods?


    PERSEY
    Really? You’re kidding!


    NED
    Who knows how long
    A fingerprint lasts? Still –
    There’s no coincidences
    Only new patterns.
    Bruce gets out of jail…
    Disappears – bodies appear. They say
    Rapists who serve time
    Stop leaving witnesses.


    (WOLVES howl. Now DIGGER wants to go out.)


    PERSEY
    (To DIGGER)
    You lie down!

    (DIGGER plays dead)


    (To NED)


    But that’s horrible!


    NED
    Horrible’s my job.
    How long have you had
    This feral dog problem?


    PERSEY
    There isn’t a problem!
    If Digger’s friends choose to go feral
    We can respect that.


    NED
    You promise to help me?


    PERSEY
    (Pacing, trying not to panic)
    You’re looking in the wrong place.


    NED
    What makes you think so?

    PERSEY
    (Determinedly)
    MY suspect’s a cop, that’s why
    You’ll never see it.


    (NED leans forward)

    NED
    Jarod’s got no criminal jacket.
    He isn’t good for this. The question is
    Why your husband has bad taste in friends.
    Gunver physically violent
    That you personally know of?


    PERSEY
    He brags about hurting prisoners.
    The whole street’s afraid of him.
    He and Stormee fight constantly.


    NED
    He’s got no complaints.


    PERSEY
    It’s a rigged system!


    NED
    This is circular reasoning.


    PERSEY
    He’s a parasite!


    NED
    Parasites don’t kill.
    If they know what is good for them.
    You’re emotionally involved.

    PERSEY
    And that cancels evidence?


    NED
    Hey, everyone’s suspect.
    I promised to study it.


    PERSEY
    (Points to the folders he hasn’t opened)
    So, what’s that doing here?
    Those extra files?


    NED
    Oh. You wanted those names.
    Of the missing.


    (WOLVES emerge howling and gather around house.)


    Sounds like…they’re singing.


    PERSEY
    Wouldn’t we all if we could?


    NED
    You mean feel one with nature?


    PERSEY
    Dance with the trees.


    (She whirls. THE WOLF-SPIRITS stand up as humans with wolf heads & masks)


    NED
    In our dreams!

    (Words & photos projected on walls. Names.)


    WOLF SPIRITS
    (Eerie chanting)
    Cookie Louise, Monica Falkin, Jean Jane McComber, Ernie
    “DaToy”, Jo Lee Ann Jeffries, Miss Mina Ha, Jane Does 1 through Jane Doe 4, John Doe 1,2,3.


    PERSEY
    Can I keep these?


    NED
    Do you want them?


    PERSEY
    Names are important.
    I’d like to study them.


    NED
    The murderer didn’t care who they were.


    PERSEY
    I think he killed them because of
    Who they were becoming.


    (The TREES send protective vines over the house; DIGGER howls)


    NED
    That’s an eerie effect!
    Really makes you shiver.


    (PERSEY opens the door and looks out pointedly)


    How about your name – Persey.
    Where did that come from?


    PERSEY
    It’s an old one.
    Persephone. It’s Greek.


    (NED exits; having to push vines aside.)

  • Woman Into Wolf: the play

    (PERSEY & BISH finish their yoga with a good gossip when – unexpectedly – ROY, PERSEY’S husband – who hates BISH – comes home)

    BISH
    But I have no playmate
    As you cruelly point out.
    (Sighs)


    PERSEY
    Sorry.
    (Offstage, ROY’s voice)


    ROY
    Cupcake! I’m home!
    Where the hellz is my baby?


    (PERSEY & BISH galvanize. He picks up scattered clothes and rushes, dripping, to change behind a screen. DIGGER lifts a head to show some interest. PERSEY jumps back in the hot tub. ROY appears.)


    PERSEY
    Just chillaxing.


    ROY
    I’m down with that!
    (Strips and jumps in with her)


    PERSEY
    I thought you were with Babe.


    ROY
    Dumped her at the depot.
    She can Uber home.


    PERSEY
    Roy, you didn’t!
    She just had back surgery!


    ROY
    She wouldn’t stop bitchin’.
    You know how she gets.
    Hey, what’s with the bathing suit?
    (Trying to disrobe her)


    PERSEY
    Sometimes…if I’m alone


    ROY
    I got dibs on this body!


    (Kissing and fondling her. PERSEY frantically signaling over his head to BISH who’s crawling towards the door, DIGGER following him with much interest. ROY suddenly sniffs the air)


    ROY
    Has that she-male been here?


    PERSEY
    Roy! Bish is my friend!


    ROY
    If society had smarts we’d
    Exterminate those guys.
    Mixed-up sexes
    Don’t know WHAT they are.



    (PERSEY tries to muffle him with kisses)


    PERSEY
    Don’t say that.
    You don’t mean it.


    ROY
    I do mean it.
    Queers are just trash people.
    Who wants a world
    Where men forget to be male?


    PERSEY
    Would they stop knifing and shooting?


    (A panicked BISH makes a dash for it, drops a shirt. DIGGER barks, picks up the shirt, returns to the fire to mouth it)


    ROY
    What’s up with that dog?
    He’s chewing up something…
    Better not be mine!


    (A lone WOLF howls)


    PERSEY
    (Climbing on his lap trying to interest him in sex)
    It’s a dishrag I gave him.
    Want to fool around?
    Or would you like a beer?

    ROY
    That dog better
    Stay out of my stuff, I’m warning you.


    (Shouting over PERSEY’s shoulder to DIGGER)


    I’ll put that dog down! Where he belongs!


    (DIGGER attacks the shirt more aggressively – ROY makes a move to leap out of the tub – PERSEY grabs remote to light portrait – it looks right at ROY – WOLVES’ Chorus)


    ROY
    Fuck me!


    (ROY appears gobsmacked. Lights off on PERSEY house, up on shirtless BISH putting shoes on at the side of the stage. JAROD – ROY’S cop friend – approaches, hails him. They began to tango.)


    JAROD
    Hel-lo sugar! What have we here?


    BISH
    Didn’t know you were interested.


    JAROD
    Call me a collector.
    Sampling anything new.
    What’s on offer?


    BISH
    Why settle for anything
    When you can have
    Everything?


    (They waltz off. WOLVES howl. Lights out.)