Alysse Aallyn

Category: #Sexuality

  • #DreamTherapy – Dream Journaling with Alysse Aallyn

    Night – Balance – We are different people in our dreams. We wake up amazed, even ashamed, of the things we wanted, said, did. Who are we, really? Are we the wishes and fears that rush through our subconscious or are we our daytime selves?


    The answer is – we are both. We must balance between the flood of desires and objectives that sleep flushes out.

    For everything there is a season,
    a time for every activity under heaven.

    
A time to be born and a time to die.
    

    A time to plant and a time to harvest.


    A time to kill and a time to heal.
    A time to tear down and a time to build up.


     A time to cry and a time to laugh.
    A time to grieve and a time to dance.


     A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones.
    A time to embrace and a time to turn away.


     A time to search and a time to quit searching.
    A time to keep and a time to throw away.

    
A time to tear and a time to mend.
    A time to be quiet and a time to speak.


     A time to love and a time to hate.
    A time for war and a time for peace. Ecclesiastes 3

    Balance is a key law of nature to avoid the dreaded death-like stagnancy. Once our conscious is in harmony with our subconscious, our dreams will balance our waking life. In dreams we try on many lives. Even the worst nightmare can be looked at objectively, as a story with potential significance.

    Moderation in All Things – said Hesiod, the Roman poet 750 BC and its still good advice. We use balance as a whetstone to sweeten our pleasures and soften our griefs; torrents that are otherwise unsurvivable.

    Challenge – We need to set up our brain’s “reward system” to handle pleasure and suffering or we will be prescribed drugs in an attempt to achieve the same effect chemically. Drugs can be useful as training wheels; ideally we want to teach our systems to achieve the same effect naturally. Calm is the first step to balance, so we must learn to calm ourselves. Meditation and yoga offer the best methods for reliable self-soothing. First we assert calm over our breath, then our bodies, lastly our thoughts. It’s not that difficult! Reminder: we do it every night as we fall asleep.

    Danger – Unfortunately our contemporary life has become a competitive pursuit of “highs”. A good life well-lived provides natural highs – learning a sport, falling in love, listening to music, having children, enjoying the grandeurs of nature. Our intellect teaches us that every “high” is dramatically enriched by thinking and planning! That’s why we are called the species “homo sapiens.” Therein lies the benefit of Dream Journal.

    The pursuit of highs without the thinking, planning, consolidating and enshrining stages always leads to excess and grief. Highs for their own sake inevitably disappoint, leading to a pursuit of more and more dangerous highs, which, if we are not thinking about them, sharing them with others and incorporating them into our beings, damage our core ability to experience joy.

    Opportunity – Joy that is held in the mind and considered is joy endlessly re-experienced. It will be yours forever, and you will be able to share it with all the people you love for the rest of your life. Conscious dreaming (often called lucid dreaming) provides the best avenue to filter these experiences down to your subconscious level. Always have a joy to think about just as you are going to sleep, and another for when you are waking up. This will sharpen your apprehension of ecstasy and deepen your life.

    Models & Mentors – “The key is not to prioritize what’s on your schedule but to schedule your priorities” – Stephen Covey

    “Don’t get so busy making a living that you forget to make a life” – Dolly Parton

    Mantra – “I balance”

    Meditation –

    #Haiku: Stability

    To assert balance;
    Employ wealth of
    Eternal universal mind

  • #DreamTherapy – Dream Journaling with Alysse Aallyn

    The Lovers – Alliances –

    Do you dream of love, sex, connection? Hand-holding, hugging, family celebrations? You are searchingfor Alliances. An alliance is symbiotic, good for both sides of the equation. To reach out, you must firstdecide motive (“I Could Use a Friend” vs “I’m Looking For Romantic Connection”) and that you areWORTHY of connection. This last one is tricky because we are all looking to others for validation.  Thisis the source of many “imposter” dreams where we find ourselves naked in front of the entire class,unprepared on Test Day.

    Open Your Dream Journal – Make a list of what you want in a friend/lover, then make a list of what you are prepared to give. The lists shouldn’t be unbalanced! Are you a “giver” or a “taker”? Neither can ever be satisfied, because the music of the spheres is all about rhythm and balance.

    Learn the Steps – There is much talk of “love languages”. The man who comes and digs an unsightly hole in your front yard may be awkwardly tendering a gift. The woman who doesn’t mention you’ve been talking all night with spinach in your teeth is also trying to do “something nice.”  But in each case, the ultimate effect may feel “hostile” to the recipient.

    There’s No Substitute for Communication – If you are hoping to communicate interest without revealing yourself you are bound for confusion and disappointment. But relax; it turns out the process of communication – trying to figure out and express who you are – is satisfyingly absorbing. It always makes you feel better, even when you meet a person who “weaponizes” honesty.

    How Can That Be? – Learning to recognize Exploiters is Two-Thirds of the Game. Exploiters probe for weakness, searching for hostages. We don’t want to end up as someone else’s meal.

    We can’t get through this alone, and we don’t want to. Luckily, we are surrounded by other humans,struggling, just like us.  If we pledge to help each other, we can dispatch terror and celebrate joy! Comforting! But how can we tell the difference between Builders and Exploiters?

    Danger  – When someone is trying to destroy your self-esteem, recognize this. Even if it comes in theguise of “friendship” this person is an enemy. This is not what  friends are for. When someone is tryingto “capture” you, i.e. limit and control your possibilities and behavior, that person is a hostage-takerlooking for slaves. NOT a friend.

    Challenge – what are friends for? Friends are honest: “I just don’t like that dress but maybe it’s me.”Friends are forgiving, ‘I’m sorry, I was having a bad day. I know you’re sorry, too.”  Friends  are fun,“Let’s cheer ourselves up.” Friends are helpful: “Let’s figure a way out of this.” Are you honest,forgiving,  fun-loving and helpful? You’re ready to be a friend.

    Opportunity – Friends are a mirror in which we see ourselves. We can experiment with possibilities, wecan expand our reach.  Our intelligence is doubled, as well as our efforts.  Our sorrows are halved andour ideas are increased exponentially.  Reach out! You’re getting better at the game every time you try.

    Models & Mentors – “You are my sun, my moon and all my stars”

    – e.e. cummings

    “All that we love deeply becomes a part of us” – Helen Keller

    “Love makes your soul crawl out of its hiding place” – Zora Neale Hurston

    “Love is not proud or boastful, keeps no record of past mistakes – love rejoices in the truth” –

    II Corinthians

    “Laugh as much as you breathe, love as long as you live” – Rumi

    Meditation –

    #Haiku: The Lovers – Alliances

    Entangled

    Pair;

    Four winged

    Angel flying

    Back to back:

    Unbeatable

  • Becoming a Goddess – the Goddess Oracle by Alysse Aallyn

    Fish – Ambisextrous –

    Goddesses Are Ambisextrous- We Express All Genders.  Goddesses are empaths. Do you identify easily with multiple avatars? Are you happiest with fluid roles in a relationship? Do you dream of the fetish trophies of gender; makeup, wigs, shoes, sports equipment? Do you have frequent “freedom” dreams: flying, swimming? Waking up damp, pulses pounding?

    Love Opens Goddesses – Empathy Ennobles Goddesses – IS there an “opposite” sex? Deep empathy makes us worthy to be our own romantic partners, the subject of our lifelong pursuit.  This is nothing but the honorable, deepest desire to truly know oneself AND others;  to master selfhood and compassion before leaving the planet.  C.S. Lewis says we are not a Body with a Soul, we are Souls with a Body.  We’re incarnated! It’s a thrill!

    Goddess Strategy Requires “Becoming” the Other –  Strengthening our imagination, we see through the barriers raised by the fearful and the pugnacious. What is “winning”? Empaths double – triple – multiply our vision, our power, and therefore our souls.

    Don’t Fear Gender – Goddess who perform the “gender specifics” of rigid roles are limiting themselves. Goddess who look for opportunities to expand their reach encompass the powers, the delights, the ecstasies of all humans. What we absorb, we reflect.

    Incarnated Goddesses Don’t Fear Physicality – We express ourselves with this gloriously gifted, given body, coming through this gloriously gifted, given world.  We expect, even worship, Transformation. Woody Allen says bisexuality doubles your chances to get a date on Saturday night. Anything wrong with that? Goddesses never “force” themselves to “perform” sexually;  (or to “perform sexuality”) that is subjugation.

    Goddesses Move Slowly to Absorb, Interpret, Comprehend – We desire to see, to know, to experience everything. Always move as slowly as you feel comfortable with, keeping all options and emotions alive. The “sexual revolution” was a lot of fun, but it was spoiled for many by a witless prejudice against “reserve.” Revulsion, instinctive distaste and doubt tell us plenty. We are on this earth to hone our “gut” instinct as well as our sensitivities. Gavin de Becker, danger specialist, reminds us that fear is an insight, an intuition, a God-given “gift.” Honor it.

    Goddesses Educate Themselves on Risk – Dangerous “bad sex” stories start with substance abuse, usually undertaken with a nervous desire to get into a more relaxed or even transcendental state; but all it actually does is skip over the “informed consent” that is such an important feature of identity and will. Predators with a need for speed drug their prey! Afterwards the complex feelings of violation and shame can take a lifetime to deal with. These facts mean we must study “trust” BEFORE we study sex. What is trust? Safety? Honor? Let’s work on those issues while we develop a free space to evolve, experiment and grow.

    Goddesses Seize Opportunity – Fresh interpretations of “gender“ make this a glorious time to be alive. I can recall when gender was a prison sentence of compulsion and rigidity! Now it is an invitation to live more fully, to experience oneself and others more richly, to participate in that fruitful, heavenly life for which we all yearn.

    Models & Mentors – “The great gift of human beings is we all have empathy. We can sense a mysterious connection to each other” – Meryl Streep

    “Leadership is about empathy. It is about relating to people for the purpose of inspiring and empowering their lives” – Oprah Winfrey

    “The capacity for empathy leads to a genuine encounter I which heart speaks to heart” – Pope Francis

    “I believe empathy is the most essential quality of civilization” – Roger Ebert

    “Empathy has no script…there is no right way or wrong way…there is only listening, emotionally connecting, communicating the incredibly healing message ‘You’re not alone” – Brene Brown

    #Haiku: Ambisextrous

    Fresh birthed –

    Splash

    Into you

    Drenched,

    Once

    Halved, now

    Wholed –

    Doubling multiplies

    Us