Alysse Aallyn

Category: #Society

  • Sleeping Orchid – Creative Boot Camp for Sensitives & Empaths with Alysse Aallyn

    Spring – Hope

    If This Archetype Chooses You – You Have Reason to Hope. You Cannot Be Too Hopeful! Is Spring your favorite season? Do you dream of unfolding buds and exploding flowers? Is “the mustard seed” your favorite parable?

    Spring Always Follows Winter – after dormancy, now arrives the season best calculated to provide ideal conditions for growth. Spring is all beginnings, freshness, newness. It starts small – barely recognizable – the tiniest frond of green among the blackness, calling forth an answering shiver from somewhere deep inside us. We are told that very cell in our body replaces itself in seven years, so springtime is a constant within us. Hope courses through your body with every flush of oxygen and blood empowering our systems.

    Hope is Creatives’ Fuel. Hope is eternal. Do you dream of uncovering buried truths? What is your quest? Will it ever be over? Hope is not about “resolution” but about envisioning a future you have a hand in promoting. You feel a sense of awe, but also ownership and some pride. This is YOUR discovery. Now you want to share it with the whole world.

    Creative Challenge – Don’t waste your imagination on games. Games can be a training ground but all too often our society seeks to harness and entrap your energies onto a treadmill that benefits only the few. Your dreams, your aspirations, your thirst for knowledge, is wider than this. You know the complexities of the universe are even more amazing than anyone has guessed and you want to call attention to them. You need to learn how.

    Hope Is a Sacred Obligation – Life persists in spite of entropy, In spite of darkness, in spite of destruction. Life is a perpetual motion machine fueled by hope, and creatives are the priests of life.

    Creatives Nurture Hope and Pass It On – Hope is the condition of believing better things are possible. It is mandated by the fact that all growing things need nurturing if they are to flourish. Creatives are the mothers of the universe.

    Creative Dangers – include tunnel vision, paranoia and megalomania. Hope deferred makes the heart sick. Obsession becomes obvious when harms become visible. Don’t “give up” because you can’t seem to impose your vision on the world. Are you eating and sleeping? Maintaining your relationships? You can’t achieve bigtime without a team and you need to keep your team happy & nourished. Conflating the majesty of discovery with your own personal majesty – needing that majesty – separates you from human kind and that can’t go well. It blinds you.

    Paranoia Seeds Fears that others are stealing from you, riding on your coattails, tarnishing your legacy. But each patch of fresh ground you conquer leads to more discoveries. The astonishment – and the astonishers – never stop! Practice humility and gratitude. Aren’t you lucky to be a part of all this? Isn’t it wonderful?

    Creative Opportunity – Assembling a “team” is critical. TEAM isn’t a formal concept and it doesn’t mean maintaining a payroll. It requires finding the energy to keep your hope alive while keeping it realistic in the community. This implies explaining yourself over and over, developing your idea. Allow others to offer the energy of their perspectives. Even when you see them as wrong-headed, they can operate as whetstones, sharpening our vision. Most important are supporters who catch a “contact high” from the joy of your insights. This happiness creates a nourishing environment that powers us forward. Move confidently in the direction of growth and away from diminishment.

    Models & Mentors – “Hope is being able to see there is light in spite of the darkness” – Desmond Tutu

    “What I try to cultivate is not blind optimism but radical hope” – Junot Diaz

    Be astonished. Tell about it. – Mary Oliver

    “Everything that is done in this world is done by hope” – Martin Luther

    “Only in darkness can you see the stars” – Martin Luther King, Jr.

    #Haiku: Altruism

    Crows call “Come Eat!”
    Across trees in hope
    Someday strangers
    Feed baby
    Crows.

  • Sleeping Orchid – Creative Bootcamp for Sensitives & Empaths with Alysse Aallyn

    Passion – Courage

    If This Archetype Chooses You – It’s Time to Release Your Power. Do you dream of fantastic feats? Sports? Circuses? Meritocratic competitions? Or are you held back from “fear standing up in front of the class?” Your psyche yearns to muster passion, the fuel for courage. Passion is what propels us forward when it would be safer to hang back. Why?

    Passion Makes You a Creative – From your youngest years, you recall that boiling collision inside of you, caused by shaming, praising, and an endless re-directing. It is in maturity that we begin to make sense of our passions and to see clearly that not everyone is born with the same ones.

    Define Your Passions – Passions evolve while you grow in character as a person. We are constantly re-defining “The Problem”, as well as the Self with which we see the problem. You will “graduate” from one passion to another until you find Compassion, its highest form. This life trajectory is cause enough for Celebration.

    Passion’s Worth Defending – Intense caring means you’re staking out ground in the universe. The desirable – justice, truth, art – whatever it is – is so important it needs advocates. You become aware that it’s under attack from people who, for personal reasons of their own, find its existence inconvenient. “Those who fail to stand up for something will fall for anything.”

    Passion Gives You Courage – Defending anything is extremely scary. You can expect to experience every sort of pushback. Studying all these possibilities is the beginning of your education as a creative.

    Have You The Courage of Your Passions? Sometimes we want something concrete, but most of the time it is the adventure itself that we really seek. We long to be transformed into an athlete of endurance who can far further faster, learn more better and imagine deeper and more vibrantly.

    Fear is a Reaction, Courage is a Decision – Even if you don’t like to fight with your fists you must fight with your mind, with your longing, with your desire. So much is impossible, yet humanity attempts the impossible every day, and a surprising extent of the time, we succeed. Our well-being, our future, depend upon this passion and this courage. Be as wily as a serpent and as gentle as a dove so that your power morphs to encompass the difficulties that you face.

    Broken Creatives – Will your heart and your courage be broken? Many times, says the fable. But light comes in through the broken places. You will flex and bend. You will evolve and grow. Your passions will change. You will rise above your passions. Your courage will strengthen and evolve. YOU WILL FLOURISH and the beauty of your effort, of your dream, joins together with all the other glorious human resolutions and accomplishments to power the planet.

    Creative Danger – Derailment is common. It is endemic. It is not the end. We live in a capitalistic society where some deliberately harness the passion, the courage, the imaginations of others to benefit only themselves. It is heartbreaking to put all your keenest insight into discoveries and achievements that only buy baubles for billionaires. Soldiers can find themselves giving everything for Very Bad Ideas. Artists watch their best installments torched and trashed. All of us face the shock of old age – if we are lucky. You need a shock absorber to upgrade your courage.

    Creative Opportunity – The hum of the universe provides the refreshment we need. There is still much peace and beauty in the green places, and the eyes of children provide all the light we need. To be strong requires exercise – Push-relax, push-relax. Nutrition has the same requirement. There’s a time to eat and a time to fast and each of those spaces is holy. The less we take, the less we require, the finer tuned becomes our mechanism. The more there is to share. Share with holy people who recognize and honor the gifts of God, not those who try to inspire hate, divisiveness and violence. Naturally we have sore places – we are creatives! We all need to give and receive the magical healing of a loving touch. Let that courage be your passion.

    You Are Not Alone – Someone has your back. Find out who: among the people who love you, among historical figures, famous thinkers and contemporary philosophers. If you can’t find a group, start a group. True friends give each other courage.

    Models & Mentors – “Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen.” – Brene Brown

    “Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage” – Anais Nin

    “Be brave. Take risks. Nothing can substitute for experience.” – Paulo Coelho

    “It takes courage to become who you really are.”
    – e.e. cummings

    “Courage is contagious” – Billy Graham

    #Haiku: Devourer of Hearts

    Scaling hearts
    For final judgment:
    Soured hearts
    Desiccate;
    Passion hearts
    Burgeon

  • Sleeping Orchid – Creative Boot Camp for Sensitives & Empaths with Alysse Aallyn

    Cooperation – Division of Labor

    If This Archetype Chooses You – How are you at delegating? Do you often dream of Getting Help? In this fantasy, you are engaged on any difficult task and Some Competent Dreamboat shows up to assist. Do you dream of villages and businesses that run seemingly effortlessly – everyone like the mailman, the crossing guard, the fruit seller, the fireman – setting about their Daily Chores like characters in a children’s book? We’re all nostalgic for that Perfect World of cooperation that never in fact, existed or can exist because we are all the stars of our particular story. Exactly as it should be. But you, right now, need cooperation and luckily, as it turns out, everyone needs cooperation to survive.

    You Don’t Have to Do Everything – It’s an enormous relief when you first realize you’re not responsible for everything. Children are very solipsistic thinkers – they “assume” magical responsibility not just for parental divorce but for World Wars. But we are tiny cogs in a huge enterprise. Every task we assume is part of something much bigger. We are surrounded by helpers, if we could only see it.

    Creative Challenge – In life we have Group Tasks and Individual Tasks. The challenge is to figure out which is which. Social pressure tends to ‘erase” the importance of our personal, individual tasks because the daily round is so overwhelming. Yet we must cling determinedly to our Personal Goals of Maturation, Mastery, Learning, Finding Meaning & Bliss, Growing Love. Cooperation surrounds us in all these challenges if we could only access its benefits.

    Know the Game – Unfortunately capitalist societies are based on competition and scarcity. Politics maneuvers us into seeing others as competitors for scarce resources, instead of willing hands helping us build. No wonder Main Street is falling into disrepair, volunteer activities go begging and community resources are depleted! Without a sense of community we can’t see each other as anything but rivals. When looking for co-operators it is wise to re-visit our previous Wisdom warnings about avoiding people who seek not helpers but hostages.

    Avoid Spirit Crushers – Memorize these threatening warnings of an approaching hostile takeover. Don’t ask for anything from these people. We can’t repeat these dangers often enough: Write these down!

    • 1. Manipulation: Toxic people often use manipulation to get what they want from others. They may guilt trip, threaten, or lie to manipulate others into doing their bidding.


    2. Emotional Abuse: Toxic individuals may use emotional abuse to control and dominate their victims. This can include name-calling, belittling, and constant criticism.


    3. Lack of Accountability: Toxic people often avoid taking responsibility for their actions and may blame others for their own mistakes.

    
4. Self-Centeredness: Toxic individuals are often extremely self-centered and may prioritize their own needs and desires over those of others.


    5. Lack of Empathy: Toxic people may have difficulty putting themselves in other people’s shoes and understanding their feelings and perspectives.


    6. Passive-Aggressiveness: Toxic individuals may exhibit passive-aggressive behavior, such as giving the silent treatment or making sarcastic comments.


    7. Inconsistency: Toxic people may be inconsistent in their words and actions, and may promise one thing but deliver another.


    8. Disregard for Boundaries: Toxic individuals may disregard others’ boundaries and may continue to push for what they want even when told “no”.

    9. Gaslighting: Toxic people may engage in gaslighting behavior, which involves manipulating someone into doubting their own perceptions or memories.


    10. Physical Aggression: In extreme cases, toxic individuals may exhibit physical aggression, such as hitting, pushing, or kicking.

    Stay Away!

    Creative Opportunity – If you manage to avoid the above, you will meet Your Best Friends Ever! People who really have ideas and ENJOY HELPING. This is even more important than Getting “the job” DONE! Because Cooperation often redesigns the job in a positive, healthy way. Real friends last for life and they change YOU. Reach out for advice and cooperation to all who treat others with respect. You won’t be successful ALL the time – no one is – but you will learn so much in the course of finding out How to Live In the World and Who to be.

    Creatives Know How to Lead – Creatives understand strategy and dividing tasks into steps. Creatives see into the heart of personal and personnel problems because they have confronted their own issues of courage, baggage, physical challenge and fear.

    Creatives Know How to Play Their Position – For my part to work, your part needs to work. Division of labor knits efforts into a harmonious whole. Everyone gets a chance and everyone is satisfied with the result.

    Creatives See the Entire Field – We know how to change course to give our best efforts their best chance. We know when to retreat and regroup. We understand the psychological build-up and the necessity of down-time, debriefing, and re-supplying. Everyone must feel that they are of value and no effort is in vain.

    Models & Mentors – “The only thing that will redeem mankind is cooperation” – Bertrand Russell

    “Coming together is a beginning, keeping together is progress and working together is success” – Henry Ford

    “If I have seen further, it is by standing on the shoulders of giants” – Isaac Newton

    “Alone we can do so little. Together we can do so much.” – Helen Keller

    #Haiku: Cooperation

    Fliers
    Gatherers
    Coaxers
    Feeders
    Breeders
    Layers
    Eaters:
    Honey.

  • Sleeping Orchid – Creative Boot Camp for Sensitives & Empaths with Alysse Aallyn

    Symbiosis – Interdependence

    If This Archetype Chooses You – Here’s why your orchid is refusing to wake up: You’re running scared. You feel “out on a limb”. You know you can’t make it on your own. We are social beings, we know we need other people, all those characters who people your dreams. We are DEPENDENT on them. This is such a tough thing to face that there are whole categories of people who go around insisting THEY “made it without any help.” They’re the only ones who believe it! They’ve actually assembled a vast team, and not only that, they are dependent on teams set up by others to provide safety, water, heat, light, transport. Visit a country where this isn’t a given and realize what a massive enterprise smoothly and quietly takes place around us every day. Current efforts to “break the system” by people who would rather buy a third yacht instead provide additional proof in the Now.

    Flourish, Don’t Exploit – Give Back. Symbiosis benefits everyone. If it leaves you “worse off” it’s not symbiosis, it’s exploitation. In our dreams we fear depredation, loss, failure, humiliation. Our sleep world is the theatre where we rehearse our fears, presumably making them LESS LIKELY to come true! We fear dependence because that means our “supply” can be cut off. But we also provide supply to others. What, and who? Any way we can improve the supply lines?

    Creatives Understand Systems – We live in a flow. Achieving psychic flow state allows us to contribute to the constructive flow of life. Blockages are caused by greed, (wanting too much) by envy (desiring others’ take-down) and by narcissistic rage (if I can’t be happy, no one gets to be happy.) Creatives demonstrate positive flow with their lives, their relationships and their bodies.

    Creative Danger – Interdependence is a delicate balance, requiring sensitivity, reflection, and the capacity to change. Above all we want to avoid “Doomsday thinking” in which “since” the obvious entropy of the universe ruins all relationships eventually, so, by this reasoning, they must be ruined NOW. This “fear” completely overlooks the spiritual growth which time can foster. Interdependence gives us insight and time and improved relationships – a recipe for emotional and intellectual thriving.

    Creatives Collaborate – Collaboration is inspired sharing. We are born with “essence” as our own unique mandate, and we acquire positive skills on our path through life. We contribute our skilled essence to the flow, and everyone has a different skilled essence to contribute. We inspire one another to our best achievements. We don’t want to live in a lonely universe.

    Creative Challenge – To become independent (i.e. free) we must intellectually face the fact of our dependence on others and their dependence on us. Is there harm involved? Depredation? Abuse? Don’t make me repeat the 17 warning signs of an abusive relationship. You should be able to recognize them by now so that you can strategize a way out! If you DON’T recognize them there’s a very good chance your dreams DO. Pay attention to those. They are warning you. It’s possible to be abused by relationships with people we’ve never met – banks – corporations – landlords – employers – if this isn’t an equally mutual beneficial relationship we’re OUTTA HERE. (This is why authoritarians fear Cancel Culture. It reduces their depredation pool.) Yes, you CAN demand & secure relationships that are more beneficial.

    Creatives Don’t Self-Sabotage – Creatives don’t foul their own nests, pollute their springs or wage zero sum games. Creatives understand that win-win supports all life in general and their lives in particular.

    Creative Opportunity – Concepts of worldly “perfection” are a persistent problem because Perfection is about death. Perfection is “finishing.” Perfection is stasis when growth has stopped. WE Creatives must be about change, evolution, and becoming. Wisdom! Sharing joy! A back and forth process involving OTHER PEOPLE. Let’s work on our confidence. Let’s work on our spiritual muscle. Let’s work on our mapping abilities so we have a good idea where we’re headed. Expect surprises and greet them when they show up: “Hello old friend.”

    Models & Mentors – “Symbiotic relationship in nature teaches us cooperation and shows that we are all connected” – Sanchita Pandey

    “You are in a dynamic relationship with the universe because your existence is win-win” – Teal Swan

    ‘Symbiosis is a much higher reflection of intelligent life” – Frederick Lenz

    “Love is a positive, symbiotic, reciprocal flow between two or more entities”
    – Inga Muscio

    #Haiku: Independent

    Lonely.
    Needing nobody
    Nobody
    Needing you –
    Welcome to Hell

  • Sleeping Orchid – Creative Boot Camp for Sensitives & Empaths with Alysse Aallyn

    Inspiration – Intuition

      When This Archetype Chooses You – Let’s help you find a way to hang on to those little ideas that keep flickering across your mind-screen. What inspires you? Are you waking up filled with exciting ideas you long to write down? Do you feel the potential of philosophical, profound revelations in your dreams which can never be captured in your waking state?

      Your Subconscious is Calling Out to You – You are experiencing a split between your Rational self and your Prophetic Self, a split which is not only potentially dangerous but completely unnecessary. Probably someone in your education blocked your inspiration by demeaning this interactive channel to the Collective Unconscious of Past and Future and warned you to ignore it. Often teachers think they are “protecting” us by claiming ignorance of intergenerational trauma, despising collective wisdom and its symbols. Education is a good thing when it teaches you to recognize, master and increase resources but it is certainly a bad thing if it countermands, neglects or destroys the yearning inside of you for a deeper connection to all of history and humanity.

      Creative Challenge – We can re-open this channel, but we will have to think about its potential in a more positive way. The great physicist said that all profound truths contain their opposite (i.e. are not dichotomous) and so require new theories about the Real and the Unreal. These ideas are not mutually exclusive. We must learn to flow with them, rather than fear & resist their bubblings of power.

      Creative Danger – “Either/Or” thinking is destructive because it requires we abandon access to vast methodologies of understanding. “Reductionism” reduces the world to “things” on the presumption that people are transient and “things” are more permanent. But if the magic of the universe encodes in relationships rather than objects this reductionism kills true discovery & thought itself.

      Creative Opportunity – Accept and ready yourself to explore your inspirations. Learn to separate them from fears and wishes. Cultivate your intuition, that precious gut instinct that warns us who and what to trust and who – and what – to back away from. Accept that – like all good things, this is a Process – thus endless (ie; to be enjoyed for all eternity.) Accept that it is a skill to be honed – one you will keep forever.

      Creatives’ Gut – You sense things. After you sleep on it, you know things. Develop these instincts through drumming, foot massage, chanting, meditation, whatever activities bring you “out” of your head.

      Confront Your Real Self – You can use a sauna as your own private ‘sweat lodge.” The goal is to locate your original self to ask its opinion.


      All too often people in our consumer culture seek a psycho-active product for brain “transformation”. You will need brain “purifying” instead. Consider the substances you fear being without. Caffeine? Nicotine? Carbohydrates? Alcohol? Pain pills? Consider trying to go without for short periods of time to develop your tolerance. Try intermittent fasting under the guidance of a responsible nutrition coach. Track your emerging thoughts in your Training Journal.

      Models & Mentors – “Intuition is the whisper of the soul” – Krishnamurti

      “A good artist lets intuition lead him wherever it wants” – Lao Tzu

      “Follow your instincts – it’s where true wisdom manifests itself” – Oprah Winfrey

      “Intuition and observation are the sources for our knowledge” – Rudolf Steiner

      Haiku: Inspiration – Intuition

      Faint voice
      Clear
      Harder you listen
      Heart
      Symphonics – re –
      Connecting
      World

    1. Butterfly Language for Caterpillars – Soulmate Seeking with Alysse Aallyn

      The Pond = JUDGEMENT “Devourer of Hearts”

      “Does truth ever come out?”

      The Pond may reflect what it sees, but we know it has depths. There are things in there, moving around, looking back at us, possibly making calculations about us. The pond is deep enough so that we could swim – and never touch bottom.
      When we look into a mirror, is the mirror looking into us? We know the answer is always Yes as long as we have a Soulmate. We function as each other’s mirrors. World within world; bubble within a bubble; our vision alters. We learn from each other what Truth really is.

      Truth lies just beyond our vision, but luckily our Soulmate provides eyes in the back of our head. The Truth will out. The Pond waits quietly, knowing someday it will repossess. Hidden creatures study us as we study them. We remember what it is like to dip beneath it surface and gaze back at the blurry universe – blurry now – where some breathe air. Goldfish will nibble at our skin while spiders tangle in our hair. Someday we must acclimate to a different ethos. Appearing in your spread, The Pond means Judgment is coming. It can be good or it can be bad: it is up to us.

      Because that’s what we’re scared of, isn’t it? We know how we make judgments: Interestingly, in our everyday life it seems like “judgment” is constantly changing. There’s appeals, and reconsiderations and every now and then some “delivered and done” decision is disinterred and we all publicly agree: “That was wrong.”

      So, like a lot of “finite” things, “judgment” is a “concept”, just like the theory that if you keep dividing a distance in half you’ll never reach zero. We’re afraid of “bad” judgments, that’s the truth; because we judge ourselves harshly: “Why can’t you do anything right?”

      And we are cognizant of a Group of Others – lets call them by their true name – bullies – who are actively seeking tender vulnerabilities they can exploit. Once they realize what a mess we are won’t that be the Final Judgment we can never recover from?

      We are a fearful species. And a lot of our fears, it turns out, are hardwired. Behavioral experts pointed out a hundred years ago that children are automatically afraid of things like snakes and cliffs but not speed or electric light sockets. Fear isn’t rational.

      And since we are a social species it only makes sense that at least some of our fears would be “social” in nature. But here’s the rub: defensiveness ramps up anxiety and most – if not all – of obsessive behavior is engineered to distract us from anxiety! We’re pigeons pecking at ourselves! So we’re not doing ourselves any favors by getting hysterical about “what other people think.” Better work on maintaining our calm and maintaining our wellness program. Remember, soulmates can save each other.

      Haiku: Devourer of Hearts

      Scaling hearts
      For final judgment:
      Soured hearts
      Desiccate;
      Tantric hearts
      Burgeon

    2. Butterfly Language for Caterpillars – Seeking a Soulmate with Alysse Aallyn

      Marriage = PARTNERSHIP ; “Marriage License”

      “The light in me honors the light in you”

      Marriage can be a spiritual partnership of equals, a conscientious joining of two lives seeking to shape a common purpose animated by love. If either partner is looking for a mule, hostage, trick mirror or foot soldier, the partnership will fail. The fact that our higher purpose can only be discovered after we have sealed the deal makes marriage the riskiest enterprise any of us can expect to tackle in a lifetime, but if we succeed, the payoff is tremendous and all effort, achievement and joy will be raised to the greatest power.

      Alliances: Very little in life is accomplished alone. We long to double and triple our efforts, to see 360 degrees at once , and to work while sleeping, like some double-headed god! We spend years fantasizing about the perfect partner who will provide the invisible cloak, the seven league boots, who will take over from us in the relay race while we are fainting or shivering with fever psychological or physical.

      And then there’s the love that give us x-ray vision; loving the person we learn from, seek comfort from, who gives us strength. Marriage is a blending; our partner bringing out gifts we didn’t know we had.

      Who can we partner with for today’s challenges? What does our soulmate seek in us? What can we do to be worthy of their faith? Marriage Card is a multiplicitous maximizer of power and potential as well as risk.

      Alliances are critical in life. None of us can survive, much less flourish, without some kind of team. The size of the team often determines our success, sometimes called “social capital.” This presents a special challenge to introverts, like me, who not only like but actually need to be alone, just to recharge, work and hear our own thoughts. The Fully Committed Other therefore has even more importance in our lives.

      Marriage is the ultimate commitment, publicly forswearing all others unless you specifically rewrite your vows differently (or take no vows at all.) Is marriage too great a step for you? Unimaginable, in fact? Or is this the future towards which you have been working? If so, you need a Beloved who truthfully companions, instead of pretending to agree.

      Marriage License

      This policy does not insure against
      disfigurement
      (controlled or uncontrolled)


      delirium; anguish approximate or anguish remote;
      dismembering scars
      that fever-chart a graph of life immutable to prayer


      intransigent of purpose;
      does not insure against
      my someday knowing you


      forcing pores to open where once
      you had no skin
      dining on your heart while you


      dine out on mine.
      When I forget this I know
      You will remind me


      As we are destined to
      Remind each other.

    3. Butterfly Language for Caterpillars – Seeking a Soulmate with Alysse Aallyn

      Cooperation = DIVISION OF LABOR : “INSOMNIA”

      “We can help each other”

      Life is always a collaborative venture. Cooperation makes the world go round; you are not going to find a SoulMate without carefully orchestrating your dance steps together. Working together on constructive plans that will pass from one generation to another has created multiple marvels of engineering and design.

      But among human beings, at least, the chain breaks down when some of our less attractive tendencies toward competition, paranoia and greed rear their ugly heads. And there is little that can be accomplished on the human plane at least without seemingly endless slatherings of goodwill. In the animal world, cooperation goes much more smoothly, with social insects routinely building cities that rival the Eight Wonders of the World.

      Human marriage is a two-way support system; that is the reason for its longevity. Divorce and dissolution come when someone feels they’re getting too little. Cooperation always offers chance for communion, that vital sense we have of being a necessary part of something bigger, more long-lasting and more important.

      Division of Labor – We’ll never be able to do everything to achieve our goals. We are going to need help. How do we get other people on board? How delegate effort? We need to brace ourselves for “pushback” as in, “Why should I help you?”

      We may have to help other people with THEIR goals! When we made our list of resources, other people figured prominently. Now we decide how to “sell” our ideas as well as ourselves! Why are we worthy of help and assistance in a world that is begging for it? As so often happens, the best advice is to “start small”. Offer a friendship transaction: “I’ll pick up this item for you if you pick up that item for me.”

      “Cooperation” is reciprocity. We are looking for an equal relationship that respects our essential differences. We not only need support on our life path, we are eager to support the Beloved.


      “Cooperation” protects us from one-way relationships. Above all, we don’t want to get sucked into another’s cycle of destruction. This pathology currently goes by the name “narcissism”.

      “Narcissists create a shared fantasy of victimhood.” Narcissists LIVE in fantasy. They create not only a fantasy version of themselves but also a fantasy version of YOU!! This is critical for comprehending the anguish caused by abuse. They are excellent manipulators; they create an idealized version of the victim, and narcissists somehow convince the victim that they should play along to receive the benefits that they seek.

      The narcissist secures the “power” of shattering this fantasy whenever they choose (known as the devaluation and discarding phase.) They threaten to deprive you of your perfect self-image! That is why we experience so much pain. We are not grieving the loss of narcissists. We are not grieving the time we spent with narcissists. We are grieving our idealized lives and selves!! Narcissists are filled with a senseless, secret hate (usually based on envy) that requires them to degrade and disappoint you – probably some “magical” re-enactment of a catastrophic disappointing degradation THEY experienced once upon a time. You can’t be their therapist.

      As soon as it becomes apparent that cooperation is not only impossible but that your suffering is required, you need to GET OUT NOW. Willingness to give is the necessary foundation of SoulMating.

      INSOMNIA

      I can’t sleep

      Because you’re gone

      My muscles wake

      My mind goes spinning on

      And where your fingers

      Built and praised my face

      Night air is cold and careless

      In its place

      And where we turned and woke

      In complex rhyme

      I’m left to face the music

      frayed by time; a waltz

      Which once we won

      Is now a limping battle danced by one;

      None to explore

      Appreciate my line

      Thought now at last it’s

      Incontestably mine

    4. The Language of Butterflies – walking the Path of Attachment with Alysse Aallyn

      The Moon = SUBTLE INFLUENCE : “Botticelli’s Simonetta”

      “Secret crushing”

      The Moon and the Sun have nothing in common. The Moon is a planet, the Sun is a star. The Moon doesn’t give light; it reflects light; it must be tired of being compared to the Sun. What an unfair fight!

      The Moon is our hostage, circling us slowly. Balefully. Oh, it has its worshippers. I mean, which would you rather be, Moonstruck or Sun-struck? You can recover from The Moon. The Moon seems manageable; Earth has visited it many times. The Moon is symbolic; vital for poets; unavoidable for lovers. The Moon is the Planet for people who like to sneak around. The Moon manages our tides, but subtly. Cruelly. She is the Queen of passive aggression.

      There are two ways to accomplish anything: full-frontal or “sneak attack.” This knowledge, so dear to military strategists, is one of the first things we discovered as children. You rarely get what you want simply by asking for it. Instead, you must study “the target” and determine likely responses. As children, we usually realized it helped if “target” was in a good mood! Bad mood targets say “no” to everything!

      But this simple reality has important ramifications for us adult planners: there is also “weather” in the world of human desire and accomplishment. It’s much more difficult to “take off” in a storm. The Moon is visible entirely by borrowed light, but that’s the least important thing about her. Her power may be invisible, but we can feel it in our blood, in our bodies!

      There could be no more useful introduction to the potency of Subtle Power. Sometimes in order to achieve our desire we must prepare our target to even hear us. Jesus illustrated this brilliantly in a series of parables anyone would understand. When he was asked a question, he’d tell a story whose moral was obvious. He allowed seekers to answer their own questions by first determining what “paradigm” matched their circumstance.

      Plotting the “weather” and analyzing the “players” tells us much of what we need to know when planning to move forward. It can be admirable to lay all our cards on the table, or it can be foolhardy; as men discover who propose on the first date. We’ve been given complex brains. Let’s use them to think strategically.

      Do you have a secret crush? Do you know why — or is not knowing an important part of its power over you? What’s influencing you? Where is this pull coming from?

      The moon exemplifies subtle power; entrancing its quarry like a sidewinder. That means it’s time to “think outside the box” and take a deep dive into the “hard” wiring of your motives and desires. Just how “hard” is that wiring? Just because it’s “factory-installed” doesn’t mean it can‘t be improved upon.

      “Customization” according to your unique requirements is far superior to accepting whatever your biology throws at you. Let’s study our own blueprints with a view to a possible re-design if we don’t like what we see. We all have nonsensical fears, triggers and prejudices; keeping them in darkness allows them to proliferate, even assume command. The Moon is one of the Imposture archetypes (Fireflies is the other) but the moon is more about you posing to fool yourself. 

      We who seek our Perfect Other Half wish to be free of all that. We want to know what we actually want, what benefits and what harms us and all we want is the ability to speak it honestly. Let’s compare your real self, your desired self and your social self to your desirable self – and learn.

      Can you change? This is the most important question, because you’ll have to change to blend smoothly with your other. Resistance to change – to experimentation, to re-design – is the biggest red flag there is. It’s a deal-breaker.

      SIMONETTA:
      Botticelli’s Muse

      Ah Simonetta!
      You were always
      All the faces; how we

      Pity the griffon backed toad
      Who dreams of you
      And you alone;

      Excepting your fatality –
      Eyes flint deep, pebble shallow,
      Thunder lines coiled on
      Lips pursed tight

      A tantrummy child
      Punishing parents by
      Refusing to breathe.

      As this world is not
      Perfection you can’t be;
      Yet somehow you embody

      Everything we yearn for; your
      Pear-hard belly
      Anticipating ravages;

      Unto that scar that splits you twice
      Equator-wise, spilling out
      the thistle-tailed phoenix

      Who perpetuates your face, spinning
      Ropes of rubied veins and
      Clouds of gilded hair –

      Arching you back to
      Burst you, husk and all
      Against the sun.

    5. #DreamTherapy – Dream Journaling with Alysse Aallyn

      The Field of Fate – Do you dream of costume drama? Historical characters? Ancient books? Do you consult tea leaves? Are you superstitious? We are all caught in the mesh of history.

      The field is too large for us to see it clearly. We can feel the pull of forces too large to resist or even rise above. We use our Dream Journal to track the stirrings of memories both past & future. Those caught in wars, in genocides, in natural disasters, are brutally unlucky. Naturally we yearn for a trustworthy clue to extract us from this maze.

      Challenge – Do you see the bigger picture? Were those who fled Germany before Hitler shut it down just “lucky” or had they learned to read the signs? Rulers by whim are especially dangerous, for their brain becomes an echo chamber rotting from within. The larger the council the better – true democracy is best, but even then there are those self-destructive ones among us desiring to “shake things up”; loving chaos for its own sake. They may hope to ride the whirlwind but no one can truly ride a whirlwind. The challenge is to see the whirlwind coming.

      Danger – Is the danger learned helplessness, our old enemy? Or is it comfort – we’ve created a prison for ourselves that’s just too cushy and familiar to leave? Sometime the danger is an inability to imagine evil: “it CAN’T get that bad” or “These people are my friends,” or ”He’s just trash talking. He doesn’t really mean it.” Famous last words. Or is it another enemy, panic? Fight and flight are not the only factory installed responses, there’s also “freeze.” Motionless, because we are too terrified to think.

      Opportunity – Have you noticed, yet, that it’s always the same opportunity we’re offered? Simply to grow up. Accept maturity. Become Godly; more like God, or as the Gnostic gospels call the Creator, “Good”. To regard each other with the wise generosity of compassion. In order to claim our opportunity we must create safe spaces to grow, think and learn.

      Models & Mentors – “We are spinning our own fates, good or evil, never to be undone” – William James

      “No matter how dirty your past, your future is spotless” – Drake

      “Our destiny is not written for us, but by us” – Barack Obama

      “If you can influence, direct or control your environment , you can make your life what you want it to be” – Napoleon Hill

      “Life is choice, not chance,” – Jean Nidetch

      “Winners fail until they succeed” – Robert T. Kiyosaki

      Mantra – “I choose”

      Meditation –

      #Haiku: Karma

      Come round –
      Goes round.
      Love reaps love
      Law reaps
      Justice
      Violence reaps
      Whirlwind.