SCENE 5: Bo Tries to reach over an audience member – pulls 3 times on his rope – whose end disappears into darkness.)
BO
(To audience member)
Work with me here. You got anything? I have to take her SOMETHING.
(Audience members confer. The hand him a program. Putting it in his mouth like a dog BO gets down on hands and knees and starts to crawl back. Darkness on him, lights up on HEDJ & REV.)
SCENE 6: HEDJ & REV are lying on their backs, clothing disarranged, staring up at the ceiling panting. Long pause. )
REV
Oh, my God that was fantastic. I’m still feeling it.
HEDJ
So…do you believe in God?
REV
I most definitely do not.
HEDJ
You talk a lot about God for a person who doesn’t believe in God.
REV
God! I do not! I believe in karma though. This whole thing started out as incredibly bad karma.
HEDJ
You believe in karma?
REV
The way I see it, you HAVE to. What goes around comes around. It all started when I nicknamed Muffy McGuire “Muffintop”. She’s been a monster ever since.
HEDJ
So everything’s YOUR fault?
REV
Only my part of it! You’ve got your own karma, buster.
HEDJ
There was that white light, though. I definitely saw it.
REV
Dude, that was just your brain cells bubbling in a mix of boiling adrenalin and your own fat.
HEDJ
Mrs. Cryder, though. I remembered her name! What the heck was she doing there?
REV
Random. Purely random.
HEDJ
She was always telling me I wasn’t living up to my fullest potential.
REV
See? It’s like some Freudian thing.
HEDJ
I feel like it meant something I should figure out but I still can’t. She was always talking about “The Third Solution.”
REV
The third solution or the Final Solution?
HEDJ
The third solution – the one that isn’t there. You do believe in mental telepathy, I’m assuming?
REV
Mental telepathy?
HEDJ
Yeah. You know, seeing stuff before it’s going to happen and –
REV
That’s not mental telepathy, that’s precognition.
HEDJ
Whatever. If it got put in your head from someone else’s head it’s telepathy. Hasn’t that happened to you? Looking at someone and knowing what he’s thinking? Having the exact same idea at the exact same time?
REV
But the timing is illusory. People hear an idea, it sounds familiar and they think that means they had it too. They hear a song on the radio that the know and they tell everyone, “I was just thinking of that!” It was just in their head – with a whole lot of other stuff nobody mentioned.
HEDJ
You’ve led a deprived existence. Don’t tell me you and some buddy have never guessed each other’s thoughts! Like you’re sharing a brain.
REV
You and your buddies ARE sharing a brain! And you should get a new one!
HEDJ
Come on, work with me here! You’re already busted – you’re not as hostile as you pretend! All I’m saying is we could send a message – both of us at the same time – to Bo and – your friend – to find us.
REV
Good idea.
HEDJ
Good idea?
REV
Frankly I’m too exhausted for anything else.
HEDJ
So you’ll try it? If I show up you’ll admit I’m right?
REV
They COULD just be tracking our electric heat signatures.
HEDJ
(Sitting up)
That is total bullshit! You are SO argumentative!
REV
(She sits up too)
A natural lawyer, though, right? That’s what my Dad says.
HEDJ
Well I’m too proud to use circular logic.
REV
That was NOT circular logic!
HEDJ
Now you’re just disrupting our unity. We need to send a unified signal – WHATEVER it is.
REV
OK , Boss.
(She settles back.)
It was your idea. You can own this one. Tell me what to do.
HEDJ
Stop turning me on!
REV
I wasn’t turning you on! Your disturbed leadership style wouldn’t turn anybody on!
HEDJ
Then why are YOU turned on?
REV
Leave me and my poor starved body out of this.
HEDJ
Maybe you can’t help it. We have to lean restraint.
(Enormous visible effort)
OK, picture those two in your mind. Wandering, lost, pathetic. Thirsty. Depressed. Probably starving. Got it?
REV
(Eyes closed)
Fighting, I bet.
HEDJ
Hold that picture. Then think, COME, COME, COME.
REV
YOU’RE trying to turn ME on!
HEDJ
I totally was not! It just got away from me!
REV
No way am I thinking anything as stupid as “come, come”! What is this, some cheesy vampire flick?
HEDJ
Then what’s YOUR suggestion?
REV
How about “Find us. We’re here.”
HEDJ
That’s good. Very Occam’s Razor.
REV
Thank you.
HEDJ
Simple, so I like it better. Don’t you dare say what you’re thinking!
REV
You’re reading MY mind now?
HEDJ
You were going to say I am simple. Well, I am and I’m not ashamed of it!
REV
Wow! You totally CAN read minds!
HEDJ
Stop turning me on!
REV
Stop putting words in my mouth!
HEDJ
(He crosses his legs desperately)
Stop putting thoughts in my head!
REV
Your HEAD is not your problem. We have to focus on the job at hand.
HEDJ
(Rocking)
Focus, focus. OK, then. Ready?
REV
God, what if I just fall asleep? I’m SO exhausted. I don’t think I’ve slept in MONTHS.
HEDJ
That’s even better. It’s more powerful if we DREAM them into finding us!
REV
You are one interesting guy! You believe in the power of dreams? I dream in 4D!
HEDJ
Doesn’t everybody? God! How do people study if they can’t dream?
REV
Nobody studies by sleeping!
HEDJ
Well, you SHOULD or you’ll never learn anything. If knowledge doesn’t penetrate the subliminal level –
REV
It isn’t knowledge. Roger, Dodger.
HEDJ
Just tell yourself you’re going to DREAM about them finding us.
REV
Can do.
(Yawns; reaches out for him)
See you on the other side.
HEDJ
I’ll be there.
Alysse Aallyn 